#but am I the definition of indecisive? You bet your fucking ass

[no1ryomafan]

My ass is in need of a desperate thing to do bc I finished big o and I feel empty despite REALLY LIKING IT it’s just because my ass hardly has any motivation to write or draw all I can do is just play video games even if I’m not even touching new ones I keep replaying the same comfort games but my main options on my to watch list are:

-reasonable length of 24 episodes but it’s apparently super fucking depressing and everyone advises I don’t watch it despite it being in my reader for awhile (casshern sins)

-even more reasonable length of 12 episodes and is more toku stuff but I’ve seen no one talk about it (guyver)

-the most reasonable length of 7 episodes- but all of them are nearly a hour so how the fuck does that keep my attention span (giant robo)

-not at all reasonable length for me because it’s 50 episodes so I should wait until I’ve watched more 20 ep anime and see I can get through a 40 ep anime but I think about it anyways (Astro boy/cyborg 009, ignore how this is two)

I should probably just make a poll about this but my tumblr polls don’t get a lot of traction and Twitter I’m scared if I end up chickening out bc I’ve done this with- a lot of polls which is also reasonable I don’t wanna make one 💀 might just ask friend opinion but if anyone knows any of these feel free to drop something in the comments.

[syubub]

Yoongi birthday reading/energy check!!

It's sweet sweet tangerine bois birthday!!

I wanted to do a cute little energy check up to see what's up and ask some fun little questions!!

I'm excited so let's just do this shit!!

Disclaimer: this is for entertainment purposes and not to be taken as fact!!

---

I want to apologize for the absolute shit pictures but what's new lol

So, let's start with the platform. First thing I noticed was the blue was brighter but the platform was darker? It was like someone cranked up the contrast to 100. Ngl it looked pretty cool. Yoongis platform doesn't typically have a barrier like some of the others do so I just kinda walked in and did the whole, "happy birthday, I have questions" His energy seemed a lot more... vibrant? And playful I guess? It was really nice. Now. The actual connection was intresting because the cord was blue again and like, real thick. (I don't think my perceived thickness of the cord has and real correlation with how strong the connection is. It was just thicc) this time though, the cord was connected at the chest instead of the third eye. So i was like, ??? But my guide didn't give my any sort of helpful input (my guide likes to watch me suffer in my confusion. I'm sure of it)

Anyway, cord like that and then yoobi gave me a headbutt to connect at the third eye. Idk why he gotta be like that :( istg next time he's gonna flick my forehead or something.

I was like "cool cool cool. I want to do the reading now pls" and idk how to explain the energy other than sassy. You know? Blah blah blah I'm thinking, "I don't remember him being so cheeky but maybe I've been gone long enough for him to level up into his final sass monster form"

Anywho, this was intresting because after the little strings were connected and stuff, we plopped down on the floor. And it was like everything I was doing irl was being mimicked infront of yoons energy? So we were sitting facing eachother and I was putting the cards down between us?? Usually that doesn't happen but it was kinda fun!!

Moving right along. I first asked if there was anything he wanted to say or needed to get across and it was 11. Now, 11 has come up before and I'm still not to sure what it's in reference to? My best guess is possibly he's been seeing 11:11 or that it's 2? Idk let me know if you have any clues lol. Other stuff was just kinda banter and stuff.

So so so.

The reading. First thing I asked was how he was doing. And I shuffled his preticular way (when I ask a question I always ask for the energy to tell me how much to shuffle or when to stop. For yoongi it's always 2-2-2. So 2 bridge shuffles, 2 hand shuffles and then split the pile in 2. That's why I think 11 might be 2 to him?)

The cards we got are ace of swords rev, justice,the heirophant rev, the empress.

So based off this I was like okay. I want to pull clarity cards for the two rev cards to get a better picture so I pulled the emperor rev for ace or swords rev and strength rev and wheel of fortune rev for the heirophant rev.

Starting with the ace of swords rev, and the emperor reverse. It seems like yoongi has been re thinking his relationship to control in his life. That's he's possibly noticing any unhealthy needs to control his life and the situation around him. It could also refer to his judgment being clouded by a rigid approach.

With the justice card it makes me think that he's possibly considering a big choice in his life or that he's really doing some deconstructing of his own views. This second idea fits in well with him getting clarity on some possibly unhealthy control issues in his life.

Now. The heirophant rev, strength rev and wheel of fortune reverse. This was intresting to me bc they are all major arcana. The heirophant rev can really talk about no longer needing outside approval and making your own way in your own time bc you are your own teacher. Strength in rev I kinda read as self doubt and feeling down in this case. Like a lack of confidence in himself and his abilities. And the wheel of fortune in reverse I took to mean as his breaking cycles. All together these cards kinda paint a picture about wanting and trying to break a cycle of self doubt and self limiting beliefs and learning more about himself and why he think what he does about himself and searching through everything for truth. It's really good!! In short he's doing some nice soul searching and trusting himself to guide his own way through this self discovery!

The empress! This card seems to pop up for yoobi a lot and I think it really speaks to the abundance that surrounds him! Not just money but the abundance of creativity, love, friends ect.

Now now now. I asked him if there was anything that he wanted to tell us about himself or bts or what's happening in the near future. For that I got 2 of cups, king of wands and 3 of coins.

So the 2 of cups is partnership. Usually romantic. Could be pertaining to the may 13th thing that is ever present lol but I'll get to that later. With the 3 of coins talking about teamwork, this could definitely hint at collaborations coming up!! That's the vibe I get. No one crush my dreams. And for the king of wands it could be talking about taking the reigns on a new project and starting to get it done. Like a new opportunity. This could be a new bts project like starting a new campaign or new venture or maybe personal like the a mixtape or doing more songs for other groups ect.

I had to ask him how he was feeling about the grammys. I had to. Had to. The cards were ace of wands, 2 of wands and death reverse. When these came flying out I could help but smile. Yoongis energy was almost giddy too!

Witht he ace of wands

It's that spark of creativity and inspiration. It's that feeling when you get super excited over some new thing. I think this is the perfect example for feeling reinvigorated. The 2 of wands takes that spark from the ace and tries to funnel that excitement and newness into something directional. Using that burst of creativity to start planning for future progress!! Its so nice to see that! If they don't win (IF) you bet we're gonna get some bangers about a corrupt system. If (WHEN) they do win we'll get bangers about how thankful they are to have gotten where they are in spite of a corrupt system. I just want to hear an uncensored version of yoongi being like, "HOLY FUCKING SHIT, WE DID IT BITCHES. FUCK ALL YOU BASTARDS THAT SAID WE COULDN'T."

I can dream....

What a nice dream.

Now I asked if there was anything yoobi wanted to say to us as in advice or comfort or anything like that and I got, Clearing negativity, make time for self care, when I'm tuned into the energy of abundance I become abundant. when I'm in a state of appreciation im in vibrational alignment with my true love nature. The world rev, 2 of swords rev and that project, that person, that idea is waiting.

Awe. Take care of yourselves!! Make sure to take time to enjoy what you like and try not to let any negativity get in the way of you enjoying your days. The world rev to me seems to be talking about seeking closure on the things in your life that have been impacting you. Tie up those loose ends so you can move foward without triping over yourself and 2 of swords rev I think talks about information overload and being kinda indecisive bc of that. Take a sep back to evaluate the situation at hand because sometimes it's so close you can't see what you're looking for. Those of you who are studying and getting frustrated because you just can't seem to get it, try taking a step back and doing something to take care of yourself and come back to it so you can approach with a clearer mind. Try not to get stuck or paralyzed by choice but if you do get stuck, take some time to detach yourself from the situation and come back later!

A fair few people wanted an update on yoobis soulmate as well. If you need a refresher here's the run down. Yoongis soulmate is impossible for me to read, yoongi is a smug ass and I'm nosy and probably a little dumb.

Now that that's cleared up

I asked, "am I missing something?" (As to why I can't connect and why yoongi won't give me answers.)

I got queen of cups, magician and the high priestess. I read this as him being like, "yeah dude, you aren't woke enough"

YOONGI just give me answers pls. The high priestess is intuition and sacred knowledge, the magician is manifestation and the queen of cups is also intuition.

At this point I was like, okay you little shit, can you at least tell me how your soulmate is doing? Can you do that for me?

2 of cups, 2 of pentacles, 9 of wands and knight of wands. 2 of cups is partnership usually romantic, 2 of pentacles is priorities and managing them, 9 of wands persistence, knight of wands motivation for a new thing. His soulmate last time was in the process of going through some shit and figuring it out and it seems like now they've got a better clue of how to move foward and are currently heading towards good things/ important things in their life (possibly like working towards dream career or had an idea for a business the want to start or field they want to go in.)

I was thinking about the next question when this popped into my head, "if you know about your akashic book, do you know about your soulmates? Have you read it?" I used my pendulum. No movement at all. What so ever. "Are you listening to me?" Yes. "So answer my question please" No. "Do you like to watch me suffer?" Maybe. "Do you know the answer to the question" yes.

YOONGI WHY

This cheeky son of a bitch.

Now I was like, fuck it. Imma ask him the big boi question.

"Is your soulmate present when I do these readings?" Yes.

WHY THE FUCK CAN I NIT PICK UP ON IT???

I had to take a deep breath dude. Yoobi is testing my nerves.

"Are they hiding their energy?" No.

I was actually gonna combust. This makes no sense.

I asked yoongi if he would tell me what I'm not getting. Silence. So i ask my guide.

"lol ur dumb"

Watch me Google "how to fire your spirit guide"

Istg this feels like some dumb prank. Maybe I'm just genuinely oblivious to his soulmates energy or maybe I'm just doing something.

What do you want to bet that his soulmate is just hiding under the platform and I'm too stupid to notice or some dumb thing like that.

yoobi, sir, why must you do this?

I decided to continue.

"What message or thing have you learned from your soulmate recently that could be valuable to us?" I got healthy communication in relationships and deep replenishment.

Good to know you can have a nice communicative relationship with your soulmate bc I CAN'T.

I'm petty about it, sue me.

The message does stand though. Good communication and taking proper rest to replenish yourself.

Now I had to ask yoongi directly what he thought of may 13th.

I got the lovers, 7 of swords, the magician and judgement. The seven of swords was intresting and it makes me think there's some extra stuff at play here too. 7 of swords is about getting away with something and deceit. The clarifier was the magician.... this could mean a lot honestly. It could be that maybe yoongi will have his relationship exposed or possibly that maybe him and his soulmate meet but yoongi is disguised? Idk how that would work at all but I'm stumped. There's a lot of variations that this could be. The magician is about manifesting and having everything you need to create what you want. This could possibly mean that maybe he gets a sudden idea that's like, "oh I have to go here right now. Its super important" eventhough he has practice scheduled. So that would let down his team but he would be following his path and it might lead to him meeting his soulmate? Maybe vice versa? Idk let me know what you think??

With the judgement its about inner calling and kinda like the peak. Like shit has been leading up to this moment. With the lovers too it does seem like a union?

I asked him, "but like what's gonna happen on the 13th thought and I got the 10 of cups. Divine love, bliss, alignment, happy mushy gushy shit. This is why I'm so inclined to think that they'll meet on the 13th or things will get serious or their paths finally cross. The cards seem to heavily suggest that.

My dude. Yoongi is really sappy, pass it on.

For the last question I asked yoomgi if there was messages/ advice he had given to his soulmate that we might benefit from.

First step, open your third eye, open your heart, sign from heaven, open your arms to receiving.

A lot of opening lol.

It's good advice though learning to be open and receptive and taking that first step in tackling life or any situation.

Oki. Now for the disconnecting. It was not nearly as strange as it has been in the past. I was just like thanks dude. Again, happy birthday blah blah and I got up to leave. I noticed it looked like we were in sitting in one of those old plastic hoola hoops? Like the pink and yellow ones lol. As I was looking at and and like??? Off to the side the numbers 13, 28, 54. Obvi 54 isn't a date and then I the last yoongi check up there was book pages and I feel like 54 and 28 were the pages?? I'm not actually sure as I'm writing this so I'm gonna check.

Yep I checked. They are the page #s.

So that's intresting.

Other than that though I just kinda left and he was like, "bye" and that's all.

Not as cool as other yoongi adventures but equally as frustrating.

TLDR

Yoongis doing pretty okay and he's a cheeky little shit. My guide like to watch me suffer and yoobi is mushy gushy squishy.

Happy day of birth Syub!!

[blazinbeautywrites]

Man Crush Monday

Note: Due to the rampant uprising of plagiarism on this site and others I am stating once and once only that this is my ORIGINAL work. If I find out that you have stolen/taken any part of my work I will handle you and the situation the way I see fit.

None of the pics or gifs I use belong to me unless stated otherwise. Full credit goes to the originators of said gifs and pics.

A/N: I know this is a lil late lol but this is part of my Smut Week writing challenge which you can find here. Hope yall enjoy Producer Zab!

Length: 1,431 words

Genre: Smut

It was a rainy Monday night when Jade was scrolling through her IG feed. Just when she was bored of the app, she got a notification that her favorite producer, Zabdiel posted to his page. Clicking on it, Jade was met with the best site she’d ever seen. There he was, in all his sweaty glory, in his custom home gym. Jade moaned at the site and decided to be a little bold. She clicked on the post share button and posted him to her story with the caption “Mmmmm looking fine. #MCM” Unbeknownst to Jade, a fellow fan who followed her, saw her post and decided to screenshot it and tag him and Jade both. Jade was a singer with moderate fame and a small following on various social media sites so it was a big deal when she posted other celebs. Jade decided to call it a night and soon was off to sleep.

                                               _______________

The next morning she awoke to the incessant buzzing of her phone and a missed facetime from her bestie Malina. She didn’t bother with her notifications but chose to return Malina’s call.

“Malina girl what’s up.” Jade spoke as she sleepily rubbed her eyes.

“Well judging by your calm ass demeanor, I guess you haven’t been on ig or twitter?” Malina said.

“Uhhh no. Did something happen?” Jade asked.

“Girl! You’re blowing up! Apparently some fan accounts of Zabdiel caught your story and posted it on their pages. Well Zabdiel saw it and reposted it.” Malina said. Jade damn near short circuited when Malina said that last bit.

“Malina, imma call you back.” Jade hung up and immediately checked her instagram. She had thousands of notifications. She checked her dms and almost passed out. There on top was a dm from Zabdiel himself.

“Hey sorry if this is weird but I saw the post and I’m flattered. I’m going to this industry party later on tonight and I saw your name was also on the guestlist and was wondering if we could meet in person. 

Jade had to compose herself before she responded or else she’d definitely make a fool of herself.

“Shit I’m just now seeing this. Yeah I’ll be there tonight and I’d love to meet up. See you tonight!

Jade was just about to exit her dms when she saw he replied with a smiley face. She liked his response then sat her phone on her side table and decided to get ready for her day.

                                                 _______________

She arrived at the party a little late due to her indecisiveness. After she tore her closet apart, she finally settled on a simple black long sleeved crop top with a red plaid skirt, and some black doc martens.

She walked into the venue and was immediately hit with the smell of weed. She also took note that there was a group of ppl doing lines of coke at a vip table. Jade made her way to the open bar and ordered herself a watermelon whisky sour. Zabdiel spotted her as soon as she walked in thanks to her posting her look on ig beforehand. He made his way over to her and tapped her on the shoulder.

“Jade?” Zabdiel asked.

“Zabdiel! Hey!” Jade said. Giving him a hug. She marveled in his sweet, cinnamon scent.

“You’re better looking in person, well you fine as hell so I don’t know what I was expecting.” Zabdiel spoke.

“And you’re taller in person. Gotta admit, I was expecting a hobbit or something.” Jade joked. Zabdiel was amused, especially since he towered over her.

“Well I’m glad I could disappoint you.” He joked back. Their banter went on for a bit before they found a vip table to sit and talk. They talked about music and Jade was taken aback when Zabdiel admitted that he listened to her music.

“Wait really? Quick, what’s your favorite song?” Jade inquired.

“Oh that’s easy. Don’t Tempt me is by far my favorite song of yours. Your vocals were like fucking butter on that shit. I wanted to remix it when I first heard it.” Zab said.

“Well what stopped you?” Jade asked.

“I wanted you to sing on it.” Zabdiel said. Jade smiled at that and finished off her drink. After talking for a little bit more. Zabdiel and Jade made their rounds then dipped from the party. 

                                            _______________

Jade and Zabdiel were jamming out to some of his unreleased tracks in his home studio. Jade insisted on hearing some more of his music and Zabdiel happily agreed. They were going back and forth posting each other on their ig stories, causing a frenzy amongst their fans.

“I bet our fans are dying right now.” Jade laughed. A new unreleased track played and Jade got hype. She loved songs that made her wanna shake her ass and that’s exactly what she did. What she didn’t know was that Zab was filming and posting a video of her twerking to his ig story.

“Did I tell you how fine you were already?’ Zabdiel said as he moved closer to her. Jade smiled at him and turned to face him. She ran her finger down his chest and smirked.

“You did but I don’t mind you telling me again.” Jade smiled then leaned in, planting a soft kiss on his lips. She pulled back and smiled at him. She got up to move but he grabbed her and hoisted her up. She wrapped her legs around him as he trapped her between his warm body and the wall. Zabdiel kissed her, more passionately this time. He slipped his tongue in her mouth, making her moan as she sucked on it. They made out for a bit before Zabdiel fell back onto a sofa in his studio, Jade in his lap. She was grinding on him, feeling him get hard. Zabdiel moved his hand so that it was positioned near her warm heat. He started rubbing languid circles on her clothed pussy. Her moans were music to his ears. He sped up his movements until he felt her wetness seep through her underwear. Jade was a mess and he loved it.

“I wanna fuck you so bad. You want me to fuck you babygirl?” Zabdiel asked.

“Yes. I want you to fuck me so fucking bad.” Jade moaned. Zabdiel didn’t need to be told twice. He pushed his pant’s down just enough for his dick to pop out. Jade was mesmerized. He was bigger than she was used to but she was gonna take it like a big girl. Jade jerked him off a few times then spit on his dick. She pulled her underwear to the side and sank down on his length. She marveled at the fullness she felt. Zabdiel almost bust right then and there. 

“Fuck you’re so tight. You feel so good wrapped around my dick baby.” Zabdiel sighed. Jade started bouncing on his dick, biting her lip to conceal a loud moan that threatened to escape her mouth.

“God you feel so good inside me…...fuuuuuuuck.” Jade moaned. She got into a squat position and rode Zabdiel’s dick. He was in heaven and felt himself about to cum. He lifted her shirt, revealing her bare breast. He took her left one in his mouth while he played with the right. As he continued sucking on her left nipple, he moved his other hand to her clit and rubbed quick circles. Jade felt herself about to burst. Her movements got sloppier as her orgasm came crashing down upon her. Jade sat fully on his dick, attempting to milk him for all he was worth.

“Yes that’s it baby, ride this dick. Fuck I’m cumming shit…..shiiiiitttt.” Zabdiel moaned. Jade hopped off of him and got down on her knees. She caught every last drop of cum as it shot out of his dick. She stuck her tongue out to show him that she’d swallowed it all, Zabdiel smiled. She was a keeper.

                                            _____________

“You should produce my debut album.” Jade said as she laid on Zabdiel’s sofa watching him work.

“Damn. Dick was so good you're giving me jobs now?” He laughed.

“Don’t get cocky. I’ve always wanted to work with you but my management wouldn’t let me reach out to you. Thank god you slid in my dms though.” Jade said, giving him a smile.

“I’m glad too. If you really want me to, I'll produce your shit, on one condition though. You go out on a date with me.” Zabdiel said. 

“Hmmmm………..okay.” Jade said.

“So it’s a date?” Zab asked.

“It’s a date.” Jade smiled.

[yikeswtfmate]

I’ll hold you to that

Summary: There’s a new message from a stranger in her DMs, but what does he want from her and why exactly is he so freaking cute?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (College AU)

Warnings: swearing; that should be it, I think?

A/N: This is the second fic in two days, who even am I? What am I even doing? What is happening?! My only excuse is that I’ve started this like 2 months ago and only now got round to finishing it so...enjoy?

This might need a second part though, I feel like I need some college dorkiness in my life rn

Also, do some text and ig messages count as making this a social media au? Probably not, since I was too lazy to do that format with the apps and all that?

masterlist // Watermelon Sugar - another part

Natasha is lying on her friend’s bed, furiously typing away at her phone. The chime of incoming messages is constant and it is starting to drive Y/N up the wall.

“You could do this in your room as well, you know.” Turning in her desk chair, ready to start going off on the redhead, Y/N is cut short by a long suffering sigh. “What’s wrong now?” She knows that if she ignores Nat now, she would only get more annoying, which in turn would leave her no chance of finishing studying for the night.

“I’m talking with the people in my group, trying to prepare for the mock trial next month and there’s this guy who is completely infuriating!” Nat spats and lets out another groan, as her fingers fly across the screen. “He says that we should stop defending the CFO and try and get a settlement because it’s obvious he actually did indeed commit fraud. How are we supposed to make a case and win when he’s completely disregarding everything we’ve studied this semester? Of course the prick committed fraud, but we still have to make the case for him, this is the fucking assignment, you pompous asshole.”

“Yeah, babe, I have no idea what you’re saying there, but go you! Down with Wall Street or whatever, but I still need to study for this management exam, so it would be great if you could kindly fuck off to your room?” Y/N smiles at Nat, who finally looks up at her and sighs.

“Fine. I’ll let you study for your stupid exam, but you still need to reply to that cute guy like you promised.”

“Remind me again, why am I supposed to do that?”

“Because you promised, you ass! And your sex life is shit so Wands and I reckon if you get laid, you’ll stop being so stuck up about school.” It’s Nat’s turn to smile sweetly at Y/N, who throws a pen at her retreating form.

“Why are you guys like this?!”

“We both have unresolved daddy issues, now get on with it or I’ll send Wanda in here.”

Y/N sighs heavily and slumps in her chair. She glances at her charging phone on the desk and tentatively picks it up. She unlocks it, a picture of her and her roommates popping up on the screen and the notification is still there. Still taunting her, still adding fuel to her friends’ pestering.

They have looked through his page, of course. They have looked at all the pictures with his friends, some of them recognisable from the halls of college, all the pictures of him in various cafes, restaurants, bars, gyms, but the picture she still comes back to is the one with him at the beach. Wayfarers perched on the bridge of his nose, ruffled hair in the wind, and that tan that stretches from the set shoulders to the prominent six pack (although the bottle of beer in his hand makes those abs so unfair to believe exist) to the firm thighs. She has looked through all of his pictures, analysing every detail and description, still wondering how in the hell she managed to catch his attention enough to grant her a message from him. And then she would go on her profile, filled with pictures from the dance studio, her coffee filled all-nighters in the library, and fair enough, there is that picture of her at the pool where her bum looks just right and she could get why in a sense, but what the hell, look at that guy!

Her fingers still hover over the notification indecisively, when the group chat pops up on her screen.

Wands: do it, bitch

Y/N: I was just getting myself ready!!!!

Wands: u’re a clown

Wands: JUST DO IT

Y/N: why must you attack me like this

Nat: I’m interrupting my fight with that idiot to send you this very important message

Nat: do it, bitch

Y/N: I hate you both

Y/N finally taps on the notification and there - in all its glory there is one simple message that has been giving her a headache since the previous night. Granted, she was a bit drunk on wine, and the shriek she let out when she saw the blinking notification made her toss her phone to the other side of the couch. Wanda picked it up and looked at it confused, while Natasha slumped on the couch in order to see over her shoulder. They both whistled at the same time, which was disturbing in and of itself, thinking how alike all of their mannerisms have become since they became roommates two years prior.

She takes a big breath that does nothing to relieve her nerves, and biting her lip, she finally opens the app to her messages.

JamesBBarnes: Hey

Huh. Funny how such a little greeting makes her tap her leg unconsciously to the point that their downstairs neighbours will be complaining at their door soon. She closes her eyes for a second, shakes her head and mutters a 'what the hell.'

Y/Nwhatthehell: Hi

Now that this obstacle is over, Y/N idly wonders what made her so flustered. He's just a guy who happened to send her a message after following her on Instagram. There's nothing weird about it, is it? They're both attending the same university, she's fairly sure one of his friends is actually the guy Natasha is currently fighting with on that project of theirs. Maybe he just wants to be friendly, maybe he needs some management information for one of his mock trials. Who even knows, so what is she so stressed about? With a huff, she throws her phone away, determined to finish the chapter opened in front of her and relax for the rest of the evening.

She's in the middle of writing the last note on employee engagement, when a ping from her bed startles her into dropping her pen. She turns cautiously, as if sudden movements would force Aragog crawling out of the device, but decides she's being stupid again so she stands up and nearly lunges on the sheets.

As confusion is written all over her face after reading the first line in the notifications bar, she opens the app and stares at the screen.

JamesBBarnes: Listen, I know this might sound weird, but could you ask your friend to stop fighting with Steve? I'm trying to study over here and he's been throwing stuff around since yesterday saying something about a redhead girl who's hijacking his trial just bc she wants to prove a point

She doesn't know what she was expecting, but it's definitely not this. Is that disappointment she feels for hyping herself up just so he can ask this type of nonsense of her? Maybe, but maybe she just feels a little silly for having thought this guy would hit on her on Instagram. She sighs and replies to him, now annoyed with herself more than anything.

Y/Nwhatthehell: why didn't you just send her a message?

JamesBBarnes: From what I've heard about this Natasha, you seemed like the more reasonable one

The reply is swift, and makes her smile. Nat can be a bit too much if not handled with care, especially when it comes to group work. However, Y/N now has what seems like a million questions, and she’s even more confused than a few minutes ago.

Y/Nwhatthehell: how did you even find my IG anyway?

JamesBBarnes: oh Steve has a huge crush on Natasha and we were all forced to go through her every single photo and hear about how amazing she is every single day since the beginning of the year

JamesBBarnes: but maybe don't tell her that 

JamesBBarnes: you know what, screw that. You can even show her that msg, the punk will never be man enough to tell her himself, might as well get my revenge for all the days I've been forced to listen to him go on and on abt her

She takes a second to read the messages again, when a howl of laughter bursts out of her chest. She had an inkling this was the case, from the way Steve has suspiciously been assigned to every single group project Nat had since September. And Y/N could bet his feelings weren't unrequited, for all the hissy fits Natasha has been throwing about him lately.

Y/Nwhatthehell: what if i tell you he might get what he wants if i tell her that?

Y/Nwhathehell: would you be able to put up with him when he's in a relationship with her? He's probs gonna be 10x worse

JamesBBarnes: oh shit u're right 

JamesBBarnes: fuck it, might as well get it over with. At least he'll stop moping every time she calls him an idiot 

Y/Nwhatthehell: you make a very compelling case, James. Studying law must have its benefits...you know, like having strong well rounded arguments

JamesBBarnes: my arguments would make more sense if i would be allowed to study ya know 

JamesBBarnes: and it's Bucky 

Y/Nwhatthehell: ?

JamesBBarnes: my friends call me Bucky 

Y/Nwhathehell: so we're friends now, are we?

Y/N can't stop the feeling of giddiness that starts to inflate through her chest. She might not have gotten the flirtatious messages she was expecting, but this seems somehow better. More real.

JamesBBarnes: if we're playing matchmakers for our friends, might as well be, don't you think?

Y/Nwhatthehell: i think i'll need a stronger argument than that in order to help you

JamesBBarnes: tell you what. I'll buy you a coffee and a pizza if you help me with those two 

Y/Nwhatthehell: coffee and pizza? A man after my own heart

She wonders for a second if that comment will freak him out, but hangs her head with a grin that splits her face when she sees his reply.

JamesBBarnes: only for you babe 

Bucky stares at the screen, unable to process what he just sent. He likes this girl, likes how his first impression after seeing her profile hasn't changed after starting to talk to her. He knows how easy it is to lie away your life on social media, and he can admit he's more than excited that she seems as wholesome and funny through text, and not only through pictures. Following her and sending her that message yesterday was his genuine desperation at trying to do something, anything really to make Steve stop, but he didn't expect to actually want to keep talking to her. He really hopes he hasn't messed up anything, when 'Typing...' keeps appearing and disappearing.

Y/Nwhatthehell: i'll hold you to that, babe

[moviediary]

She’s All That (1999)

Rich and popular makes a bet with his “friend”, whose personality is pretty much summed up by the fact that he has frosted tips, that he can turn any girl into the prom queen after getting dumped by his longtime girlfriend. 

Now don’t get me wrong, I love this movie, but every time I watch it I can’t help but be amazed at how absurd it is. I mean, cliché plot aside, every individual piece that makes up this 1 hour and 30 minute ode to the individual is completely insane. What universe does this take place in? What high school do they go to?

That being said, I really like the opening shots to this movie, it definitely gives you a good introduction to the main character. Laney Boggs. She’s political and messy and 100% down to her bones an art student. She isn’t afraid to be dark.

In contrast I feel like the first meeting of the main love interest really doesn’t set him up to be who the writers want you to think he is. I mean he rolls up to school in a bright yellow Jeep with a Mr. Prez vanity plate. Then you see his shoes when he gets out of the car, fuckin’ ugly ass leather loafers. I’m sorry I know this means nothing I just have a hard time believing this jock wears these fucking shoes they’re so god damn ugly.

Every moment that introduces him makes it seem like he should be the villain, he has pretty much no redeeming qualities that we can see besides his wit (barely) and good looks. I just don’t understand why we’re supposed to like him, this is Sixteen Candles all over again. Hot rich guy, is an asshole, for some reason I still root for and love him. How does that work? What makes these characters so grossly likable? I mean, his name is Zack. That alone raises a red flag for me. That’s a frat boy asshole name. Zacks are friends of Kyle that’s all I’m saying.

Once we get through his painfully douchey introduction we get introduced to Zack’s equally douchey friends frosted tips and Gus from psych. (don’t ask me what their actual names are it’s not important anyway, that is essentially their personalities) The first thing we hear is them talking about summer break and their vacations, further driving home how rich they are and how weird it is that adults write movies about teenagers having gratuitous amounts of sex with adults. Then Zach tries unsuccessfully to say something philosophical about them graduating soon (I have to keep reminding myself that he’s supposed to have like the 4th highest GPA in their class) They then meet the most 90s girls I have ever seen. Who I guess are supposed to be popular? One thing I do like is how diverse all the characters are, they don’t all look exactly the same which I feel tends to be a problem with high school movies.

So we finally meet the “popular girl” Taylor Vaughn, Zack’s girlfriend and she immediately breaks up with him (which honestly is probably a good idea anyway) and his “friends” fucking laugh at him which he really had coming. I mean. Look at his hair. 

This launches what is probably one of my favorite narrated flashback scenes of all time, not because the topic is particularly interesting but because I love the way they have Zach interrupt her inside of the flashback. It’s a very small addition that really gives the scene style. Also we see this hot girl start dating Shaggy??? Also one of the villains from the original Scream???( he only really plays one character.) Makes me laugh every time. Also makes me a little uncomfortable every time since she’s in high school and he’s who knows how old but whatever not important. This also leads to one of my favorite exchanges in the whole movie. 

Taylor wraps up her spring break story time with one of the rawest lines I've ever seen in a 90s movie (she really did that to him) and the director throws in a classic high school movie trope, everyone actually caring enough to stop and watch this exchange. And while I usually hate this kind of character worship, since this movie is already so bizarre and unrealistic it actually kinda fits

We then cut to Laney’s art class which includes her teacher that for some reason thinks her art isn’t personal enough and two clown obsessed Lydia Deetz knock offs. I have to say I do love this part where the art students literally suggest that she kill herself in order to have her art recognized. Very realistic conversation between art students. 

That whole scene is really funny though because it doesn’t feel like it belongs in this movie. Even the music doesn't fit which is only emphasized by the sudden bell ringing transition back into a stereotypical high school movie. It reminds me of movies like the craft, the way it’s cut together, the way the characters talk, how Laney just stares straight ahead after not saying anything. It seems like she could have chosen a completely different movie to be in. Like if the movie was a chose your own adventure, she could have been in a different genre entirely and the movie would have been about her and those girls faking her death to get recognition and make money from her paintings. which would have been sick. but that isn't the movie I’m watching. Which I’m reminded of when fucking Zack comes back on screen.

Also right before the scene where the actual bet is introduced we meet the school’s resident DJ??? which isn’t important at all but is so strange that I feel the need to point it out. Like they don’t just have a guy who does the announcements they have like a disc jockey who is just there all the time??? There are just so many little things in this movie that make it so weird.

So fucking Brock pukashells pulls up and Zach just flips. Which is understandable it is a very gross moment but he just fucking goes off about Taylor and how she’s not that great and he could get with any girl in the school. His friends point out that bitch boy forgot that Taylor Vaughn is “an institution” and basically Zach with tits. She’s very important. This is something I never get about movies like this, has anyone actually been to a high school where someone was that well known. But also not liked? Like sure she’s hot, but she’s also a grade A bitch to everyone. and according to Zach nothing more than a C minus GPA in a Wonderbra. 

Once you get through the misogyny plus ultra scene and they finally make the bet, frosted tips has picked the girl Zach has to turn into the prom queen. Scary inaccessible Laney Boggs. He’s got 6 weeks to make her popular. He starts off his first exchange with her in the best way possible. By calling her brother Spaz (as his name). Again, we’re supposed to like this guy I think. I don’t know when he’s supposed to become a likable character but I can’t imagine it’s during all these scenes where he just legit insults people.

I also love all of the clips we get to see from Brock’s time on The Real World Which make me really question why all the girls fan girl over him given that he’s actually the worst, even on the show. We also get introduced to Zack’s sister who probably should have been a lesbian given how queer coded her character is besides the fact that she desperately wants a boyfriend. She even goes to an all girls school it would have been perfect. But alas, this movie is gay-less.

We are then introduced to another b-plot in this movie, Zack’s indecision about college. This was I guess to make him more human? or something? To sort of flesh him out and give him problems but honestly he doesn't have any problems. Later in the movie Laney points this out to him, he can do whatever he wants. This whole college thing is resolved fairly quickly later in the film too, it’s not very important it’s just the only thing we see about Zack besides being a perfect high schooler throughout the whole movie. Well that and his terrible performance art and being an asshole. 

After we see that Zack has been accepted by every Ivy League school and their mother (I’m not jealous I swear) we take a brief Taylor being a bitch detour before getting back to Zack making an ass of himself. This time he’s bothering Laney at her job which is awesome we love that. Again I don’t know why we like this guy he does like 3 nice things the whole movie. Anyway she gets defensive like she always does and he fumbles around trying to talk like he’s a normal person and not a walking cliché and then there’s this really strange exchange where he tries to asked her for help in art classes and she says “you don’t take art” and he’s like “how do you know?” and she’s like “Why haven't I seen you in any of my classes?” and like, I get what they were going for but what kind of high school is this? how does she have time to take more than one art class? How is she already an art major before she’s in college that’s not how high school works. I only ever had one school where I could take more than two extra curriculars and that was in middle school and it was only because they fucked up and put me in four hours of study hall and so I just went to all of the art classes that were offered. But that’s different. And am I way over analyzing this movie? yes. Does anyone but me care about this shit? probably not, but I’m gonna talk about it anyway.

I also really like Laney’s best friend who’s kind of just there, all the time, he’s such a good wing man. He also made the best excuse to get out of seeing that weird ass art show she’s in. He’s like, oh good I don’t have to see another Mitch show. He’s probably in his underwear in all of them, I wouldn’t want to go either. I think it really says something about the performance art world though, because this is probably the most believable part of the whole movie. If someone told me that his is just an actual performance art piece that they used in this movie I would absolutely believe them. Also one of the weird gremlins in this piece says what is probably my favorite quote ever which is “my soul is an island, my car is a Ford” like what the fuck is that I love that so much.

I really want to know how they came up with this shit, it’s so perfect. It also is another one of these parts in the movie that doesn’t really add anything. A lot of the movie is like this, I feel like 90% of this movie is weird filler scenes and the rest in plot. Like it’s so obvious how it’s going to end that you barely even need to watch most of the movie, and even when you do watch most of the movie it always kind of feels like it only half has something to do with the plot. I’m not even going to talk about the weird hacky Sack scene, I can’t handle how embarrassing and cringey it is I pretty much always skip through it. What a dick move of Laney’s to even put him in that situation. The whole “your eyes are really beautiful” scene is also really strange, both his lines and her reaction don’t really make sense. Through most of this movie when they actually talk to each other I feel like they don’t have any chemistry. It’s the same when he subtly blackmails her into going to the beach with him. He’s awkward and barely says anything that prompts a response and then she just goes full WOKE EMO on him and like, they really do have nothing in common I do not understand their relationship. And then his friends show up and he’s like, “If we’re gonna be friends we’ll have to deal with them eventually” which like, 1: wow get some friends you actually like maybe? And 2: how are you guys friends, you’ve barely ever managed to exchange civil words on screen. Actually maybe that makes sense, this is why he thinks this is okay (besides the whole bet thing) maybe he doesn’t realize he’s supposed to actually like his friends and girlfriend. Because it really seems like he doesn’t like any of them, which I get. Except for Gus (not his name but whatever) because that guy’s actually pretty funny and spends the whole movie calling frosted tips out whenever he sounds too much like Kenny from Can’t Hardly Wait.

The whole beach scene is kinda take it or leave it too, there are a lot of moments where we see Laney hang out with Zack and other people but honestly through the whole movie there really isn’t a whole lot of growth. We don’t actually really see them bond or talk, we’re supposed to believe their relationship is growing but I guess that must be happening off screen because I don’t see it.

One of my favorite parts is when Zack forces the JV soccer team to clean Laney’s house, the kid answering the jeopardy question and her dad just realizing they were there. Oh man, gets me every time. The makeover scene is also pretty cute, I always love those. Also the whole “new, not improved, but different Laney Boggs” thing is adorable and I appreciate it.

The evolving of the characters and their relationships don’t happen gradually, what little is actually shown is pretty much in like 3 parts, the opening, the party scene, and the end. The characters are very flat for most of the movie and they have very little personality, but the party scene is very fun to watch. From “Gracias, papi!” to Laney turning Misty into a clown, and then the Give it to Me dance sequence. And even though the characters haven’t really given me a good reason to care about them my heart still hurts a little for Laney when Taylor ruins her dress. That’s the thing about this movie, I shouldn’t care, I shouldn’t like these characters, but I still do, and I have no idea why.

The Brock dumping Taylor thing was great, the parallel was expected but I actually think it added to the story. In fact most of the things after the party actually feel necessary to the movie which is nice. Even the soccer practice actually leads to something. I don’t know what it is about the 2nd quarter of this movie that feels so empty but whatever it is it’s enough that I saw a noticeable difference when I got to the third act of this movie.

It’s a small part but I also really love the alternative clubs that make signs in favor of Laney for prom queen. They’re just so fucking funny to me. I mean, Hygiene club? Prisoners club??? What?

Then they pull another fast feelings thing on me again. They throw the mom painting scene at me and like, wow that’s sad. Then Zack tries to garner sympathy for the problems that he makes for himself. Then boom they flip on me again they’re cute and I like them. Then she says that weird thing about prom and he just dips man. And like, Why do they gotta do me like that? I cannot seem to decide if I like these characters or not it’s so weird how this dialogue is written.

And then the dream happens? Definitely one of the best scenes in the whole movie. So fucking perfect. It really just adds to the weird slight surrealness of this whole movie.

Then we go back to the school and suddenly everyone is dressing like Laney? In support I guess? Again can I just ask what fucking school they go to? And then there’s the beat boxing scene? Where they rap about who’s gonna be prom queen? I’ve never even met anybody that invested in the outcome of who’s gonna be prom queen except for those running. I don’t even think I know anybody who voted. Even so, I do love the beat box scene, they really spit some bars.

Also I just noticed that in that super fucked cafeteria scene, you can see Buffy make a cameo? Just a fun little trivia fact. But seriously that cafeteria scene is fucked. Like, the pubes on the pizza? I wish no one had thought of that ever. Also can I just say I would undoubtedly rather get my ass kicked than be forced to eat pubes. I don’t know what they were thinking that isn’t even a question.

It’s also really uncomfortable how good frosted tips is at acting like he’s not a douchebag. What a creep. If that were a real guy I’d be tempted to call him a sociopath. So gross. But I suppose it’s good for the story line.

The end of the movie wraps up pretty fast honestly. Zack’s dad and him finally communicate which fixes Zack’s only problem immediately because that’s just how easy it is. He was just projecting the whole time, his dad had literally no problems other than being a typical rich dad. Then of course we get another moment with the school DJ who I guess just gets to play and say what ever he wants whenever he wants. Am I the only one who thinks it’s really inappropriate how sexual that guy’s announcements about prom are? Maybe it’s just me and I had a really different high school experience but I feel like people are way too focused on sex when they make movies about high school. Other shit was going on you know? It’s just odd for me to think about grown adults writing and pitching this movie.

Zack really is such a bitch boy though, he doesn’t even try to explain anything to her, just lets her get hurt and lets Taylor be a bitch to her without saying anything. He doesn’t even try to tell her that frosted tips was just as much a part of it as he was. Honestly I kind of wish that frosted tips wasn’t such an asshole his whole heart to heart with her at the door before prom could have been really cute if I didn’t already know he was a lying scumbag. But I guess Laney just gets the lesser of the douchebags.

We finally get to the prom, inarguably the best part of the whole movie, all the little bits and pieces. The sex doll guy is always funny as hell. The DJ being the school DJ works really well brings a lot of closure to that whole weirdness. Also that dance scene is fucking great, has absolutely nothing to do with the plot, which actually works since about 40% of the things in this movie have nothing to do with the plot of this movie. I absolutely unironically tried to learn this dance, man I fucking wish prom was actually like this. I don’t know about you guys but for me, both of my proms were not nearly this theatrical. I spent my first one playing black jack the whole time and my senior prom was full of people that were way too white to dance. Anyway, Laney doesn’t win and she leaves early. Zack gives a pretty boring speech. Taylor goes off on everyone. Frosted tips tries to get Laney in bed and everyone gets upset.

The whole thing ends with Laney coming home to find Zach waiting for her to make sure she’s okay, which is sweet and all but like I can’t help wondering how long he had just been standing there waiting. Especially since it seemed like her dad was just ignoring him. That’s just a funny image to me. Anyway, they dance in the backyard. They kiss. It’s cute. Zack loses the bet so he accepts his diploma naked which I’m pretty sure is indecent public exposure but sure.

Overall it’s a very cute movie. The clichés are sort of made up for by all the weird 90s movie things. Plus it has a pretty great soundtrack. I know I sort of really went in on this movie but to be honest I really enjoy watching it. I’m not sure why. It’s pretty bad when you think about it any deeper than surface level. But it’s also just really fun and the characters are weird and there’s too many duffel bags to be normal and it’s just funny. It’s really weirdly funny. And it has that same non-conclusion that a lot of teen rom-coms have where they just can’t really give you all that much and just make sure they’re happy even if you know there is no way they can continue a relationship outside of high school. It may sound like it, but I’m not mad at it. If you haven’t already I’d say watch it. Watch it as a relaxing mindless good time activity. At the very least you won’t be bored, but if you get sympathy embarrassment like I do then maybe skip a few parts.

As of right now this movie is not available for free on any streaming sites (yes I own it on DVD don’t @ me)

Final Verdict:

Actual movie review: 6/10

How fun is it to watch?: 8/10

[abbybubbls]

For Nostalgia (Wilford Warfstache and Darkiplier)

Summary: Dark tries to find Wilford’s pants, but finds something completely different.

--------------------------------------------

“Wilford, I have a very important question for you.”

“Yes?”

“Where the fuck are your pants.”

Wilford was being very indecisive that day. It took him half an hour explaining why he couldn’t find his favorite pants with a bunch of side stories that had absolutely nothing to do with Dark’s question. Or maybe Wilford just didn’t want to wear pants and he wanted his story to sound interesting. It all concluded to him not getting fired, so that’s a… plus?

“Can you tell me why you didn’t want to go without pants today?” Dark asked. Wilford felt offended.

“I just told you, I couldn’t find my favorite pair! What, you don’t believe me?”

Dark put his palms together. “Precisely.”

“I’ve looked through my closet for hours,” Wilford pouted. “None of my other pants fit me, that’s all.”

“You just wanted to go waist-down clothless,” Dark replied flatly.

“Not true!” Wilford exclaimed, pointing down at his feet. “I’m wearing socks!”

At least he’s wearing ‘boxers’ too, Dark thought, trying not to look. But it doesn’t explain why he doesn’t have his real damn pants on.

I am innocent, I swear~ Wilford made a smug face while looking at Dark without his lips moving.

Sure you are.

“Why don’t I look through your closet and find your pants myself, Wilford?” Dark asked out loud.

Wilford’s face flinched, exclaiming “No!” before covering his mouth with his hand. Dark’s face stiffened.

“Why not?”

Wilford cleared his throat and chuckled, waving his hand around his face. “O- Oh, you wouldn’t like my closet, Dark. You wouldn’t like my whole room at all! It gets so messy and everything is everywhere- Oh! And it’s so cramped! We both know how much you hate tight spaces!”

“I was just in your room three days ago, Will,” Dark’s tone lowered. “It was perfectly clean since then.”

Wilford scritched his chin. “Y- You know me, Dark. I see no mess, so I create the mess!”

“And I’ve been in worse situations when it comes to tight spaces,” Dark added. “I’m pretty sure your exit-able closet is more tolerable than a broken-as-all-hell elevator that we never use.”

“When you mean ‘we’, you mean you, cuz you’ve never used it since that incident-”

“I know what I meant.”

Wilford huffed and crossed his arms. “Well, I’ve got some things that are super important in my room! What does it take to not disrespect a man’s privacy around here?”

I’m fairly certain you don’t even know the half of it.

Dark eyed behind Wilford, and spotted the Captain Magnum near Wilford’s gun, that was quite dangerously lying on the counter.

“And who cares if I don’t have pants on?! I’ve run around like a moron without them during an interview before, and nobody seems to remember it!”

Dark pointed over Wilford’s shoulder. “Oh hey, Wilford, look. The Captain is touching your gun without your permission.”

Wilford gasped and gripped at his hair. “WHAT HAPPENED TO COMMON DECENCY?!”

He ran down the hallway with Dark covering the side of his face with his hand. “MAGNUM, DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH MY BABY!!!”

“It’s alive?! ”

Dark smirked, and quickly sent himself inside of Wilford’s room.

(Click keep reading, or read on my AO3!)

Just as Dark suspected, everything in the room was spotless. Only a dozen pieces of sticky notes of doodles and interview questions were scattered all over the floor, but it seemed like they were brushed aside near Wilford’s desk mirror right next to his door. Will’s bed was a mess as well, with the blankets draping over the other and pillows flattened, but Dark thinks he likes sleeping like that anyway. There was also a sparkled up fake fireplace with a rack of colorful suspenders hanging above it as if they’d be stockings, with the red-faded-to-pink pair hanging at the dead center.

I’m sure those all won’t overheat and catch on fire. Sarcasm.

Dark bumped into the closet door, seeing that the frame reaches to the very ceiling of Wilford’s whole room. It’s not like Captain Magnum is ever gonna sneak in, why is it so tall? No matter. Dark opened the closet door, only for an avalanche of clothes to fall right on top of him. Not enough to make him stumble over, for Dark is as sturdy as a boulder.

Dark yanked all the clothes off of him, and saw that MOST of them… were shirts. The clothes that were pants though…! Were either stained, torn up, or just straight up too small. Dark was going to suggest in his head that Wilford could wear his collection of tight shorts like layers, but that’d make him appear too… big.

“Goddammit, Will.”

Dark stepped over the pile of clothes to hesitantly get himself inside of the closet. His head bumps against a light bulb with a pulley-switch next to it. Dark didn’t really need to turn the light on because since he was wearing his new white suit for a change, and he’d practically be glowing more easier that way with his twins’ auras and such.

But just because he can, Dark turned the light on by pulling the switch. The closet was a tiny bit smaller than the elevator he never uses, but at least there’s an escape route. Dark looked around every nook and cranny in the closet to at least find one, one good pair of pants that isn’t too revealing, and so that Wilford would give in to wearing until he finds his ‘most favorite’ pair soon. But if that doesn’t happen, it could be the goldfish situation where Dark buys or makes the same pair, and Wilford wouldn’t even know the difference.

There was a very tall shelf at the end of the closet, and Dark tried to reach up to the top to grab something, any thing… only to have a tan round thing fall off and land on the floor. Dust was flying, enough dust for Dark to almost hack and choke on while coughing it all away. And waving his hand around was definitely helping. “What the hell-?”

As soon as the dust died down to the floor, Dark rubbed his eyes with his knuckles. The helmet rolled on its side for a moment, and wobbled near the wall. It was Wilford’s old old old old old pith helmet.

Dark stared at it for a long minute, knowing perfectly well that Wilford wouldn’t remember having this helmet, not even remember being a colonel.

Dark picked the helmet up from the floor, and gently brushed the dust away. He looked up at the shelf. “He wouldn’t happen to have the rest, would he…?”

A corner of a sleeve was hanging from the very top of the shelf. To avoid the possibility of getting dust all over the place again, Dark put the helmet down on a lower shelf and stood on his tip-toes, and reached up with both of his hands tugging on edges of old linty clothing. His grip on both edges tightened, and he slowly lifted a neatly folded pile of bright tan clothes off the top of the shelf.

“No,” Dark muttered, blinking away dust. “There is no way…”

Indeed, it was 100% Wilford’s old outfit for when he was a colonel from the early 1900’s. Dark already had questions running through his head. How in the world does Wilford still have this? When did he put it in the closet? Why does Wilford still have this outfit after all these years, even when he’s so far gone from who he was?

Dark slowly brushed the grime and lint off of a small, silver winged metal that is still pinned on the coat. Same with a red and white metal on the other side.

Dark had no idea where Will’s red ascot went, it probably faded to pink like his suspenders and turned into the bowtie he still wears to this day. And Will’s glasses were definitely snapped apart, or shattered, or burnt when he realized that even seeing clearly didn’t matter to him anymore. All that is left is the pith helmet, the coat, pants (finally!), and the boots, which were surprisingly very well hidden in the darkness of the bottom shelf. Will shouldn’t have these.

Wilford’s voice from outside of his room gradually got louder, but that didn’t phase Dark at all. He had a few questions to ask. Chances are, Wilford might not know all the answers, but it’s worth a try to ask anyway.

“You may be taller than all of us, but it ain’t gonna phase me, Captain!” Wilford shouted, shaking a fist. “You wanna know why? Cuz Warfstache don’t take no sh(BLEEP!)t from nobody! ”

With a slam of his door, Wilford looked up at the ceiling and sighed. “I should really fix that swear-detector thing.”

“Wilford.”

Wilford hiccuped, seeing Dark standing right in front of him with his hat, boots, and the rest of Will’s outfit in his hands. “Hiiiiiiiii…!”

Dark’s face was frozen in place, stern. “Care to explain to me what these are all about?”

Wilford was grinning nervously. “W- Well, they’re um- they’re winter clothes!”

“We live in Ca-”

“Traveling vacation winter clothes!”

“You know, depending on how much Mark uses us for projects, we’re technically almost always on vacation,” Dark said. “We’ve never traveled once.”

Wilford’s face dropped, and Dark took a step forward.

“So, Wilford,” he continued. “What are these clothes here for?”

“I- I found it in a zoo! I won it for a bet!”

“Wilford.”

“I don’t know!” Wilford exclaimed, throwing fists like a child. “I’ve always had them in my closet! I don’t remember what they’re for, but they give me warm fuzzy feelings, maybe a tiny memory or two.”

“A bad memory or a good memory?”

“I dunno, does it matter that much to you?” Wilford asked. “The good and bad don’t matter to me, cuz they’re useless memories! Memories that’ll come back and disappear from my head like always!”

Dark didn’t know exactly what to say to that. Why would he care about somebody else’s memories and whether they’d be good or bad? It’s like having someone constantly looking over your shoulder. Sure, Dark has been invasive when it came to Wilford being a pain in the ass, but Dark only did it because he didn’t want Wilford to cause any more trouble than he already did.

Wilford pouted with his arms crossed, and looked down at the floor as if he’s been ashamed of himself… for some reason. Dark stared down at the pile of clothes in his hands. His grip tightened, and he sighed.

“I’m sorry, Will,” he muttered. Wilford blinked at him. “I didn’t mean to make this appear as a bigger deal than it should be.”

And all of this started because of pants.

“Have you…” Dark continued. “Worn this outfit lately?”

Wilford’s frustrated and hurt face softened. “Not in a while, no.”

“I was just wondering because of how much dust it was collecting,” Dark’s tone went gentle. “Have you thought about wearing it?”

Wilford’s hands were gripping on his sleeves loosely. “Kind of.”

Silence filled the room. Dark’s hands leaned forward. “Here. You can wear it. If you’d like.”

Without saying anything, Wilford hesitantly held the outfit out of Dark’s hands, and kicked some clothes out of his way as he headed inside his closet. Dark sat down at the edge of Wilford’s bed, waiting patiently.

A moment later, and Dark heard the closet door open. The familiar sound of boots slowly walking on the floor filled the room, and Dark saw Wilford in the entire outfit. He looked the same as he did a long time ago, only the mustache stands out a LOT more now than it did before.

Wilford was still doing the last few buttons of his coat as he left the closet, and Dark just noticed the wearing out on them. The belt around Wilford’s waist was a bit loose, but there was nothing for it to hold anyway.

“How does wearing all of that make you feel?” Dark asked.

Wilford’s hands rubbed all over his arms, and he tucked his face in his collar. “Warm, mostly! Gives me a trip of nostalgia.”

“You know how you said earlier you don’t remember what the outfit was for?” Dark asked, head tilting. “Maybe nostalgia is why.”

The front tip of the pith helmet was hiding Wilford’s eyes, which he did not like. “Yeah, maybe. I don’t remember a whole lot, just a few baby pieces.”

“I see no problem with that,” Dark replied, smiling gently. His watch hidden in his sleeve beeped. “Meeting. Wilford, do you want to go dressed like that?”

Wilford took his helmet off, tossed it on his bed, and ruffled his hair. He and Dark went over to his door. “Why not? It’s cozy and makes me feel good. And I did find pants so you wouldn’t be staring at me all day~”

As Wilford opened the door, Dark smacked his back. “Shut up.”

[stimmypaw]

stimmypaw reads Shattered Sky, a late tumblr post

I just, forgot to post this for some reason. It’s me writing my thoughts on the third book of A Vision Of Shadows, I also did that with the first and second ones! Very full of spoilers, enjoy!

Omg.....meet Darktail's Kinnies... someone should name their wc kin server that its a great name, most of them seem to have wc names tho I thought he was a whole gang?? Did more of them get wc names or have already than we knew???

Oh no I barely got to see echosong :c I hope the others are okay, frecklewish is a wonderful name

Chapter one they already have all of the clans going 2 fight???? This absolutely won't go well and that terrifies me

Onestar realized Darktail has a beautiful voice :/ and he feels bad battling him /j

Yup just as I expected, awful loss. Plus Twigpaw was sure her sister was gonna kill her which killed Me

Alderheart parent mode

YASSSS ITS TIME FOR SKYCLAAANNNNNN

obviously the clans are pissed why the hell did they have this as a secret bro!!! why?? bramblestar was just ashamed now firestar???? bro WHY i seriously need to read firestar’s quest I just don’t get it

scenes of elders being cared for by apprentices is always so comforting, seeing it being interrupted and taken from violetpaw feels awful

WHO THE FUCK IS THISTLE he isn’t in the allegiances??????????????????? HELLO ah okay the rogues are showing up slowly ok

Violetpaw did a u-turn to her character here it seems?? She didn't find the elders were lecturing her at first, was Darktail's lil speech about how she was brave enough to convince her they are wrong??? A few compliments couldn't possibly be enough for that. Plus again she is seeing Darktail brutally murder someone and how despite seemingly treating each other nicely these cats are ready to betray each other anytime. Surely this would be enough for her to feel like the elders are still right and she can't trust these cats???

Hope she doesn't start seeing this violence as normal

I'm so sorry for blossomfall I can't believe she got with thornclaw of all cats

LIONBLAZE JAYFEATHER CINDERHEART AND TAWNYPELT, ALL JUST CASUALLY LISTENING TO GOSSIP. ABSOLUTELY SCANDALOUS I LOVE THEM

I love like how the book will take breaks every now and then to show for a millisecond ivypool being mad at tigerheart or vice versa and dovewing looking at tigerheart or vice versa and have the POV go "wonder what thats all about" and just proceed with the plot. Wonderful

Twigpaw :c

"A "mrrow" of welcome" has got to be my favorite line on this book

The cats complain there's already enough plots going on.

Whitewing is a very nice background cat and I appreciate her. But God Omen of the Stars only proved Starclan is just a bunch of old dead cats and that can be both good and terrible. Her argument is needed tho.

The others have a point tho, how can they leave the clan with less cats right now? I guess they would come back with more but what if they're not strong enough to defend themselves? A lot of trouble could happen with Skyclan coming as is to the territories and its understandable for the cats to be concerned

Violetpaw and Needletail cope with trauma as best they can and thats not a lot

I hope Violetpaw at least realizes how fucked up it is that they are scared of their leader who is supposedly their kin and the one who they should be the most loyal to

Oh Boy kittypets!

I love kittypets so much they're always fun. Darktail is so creepy tho I read some quotes he said to my girlfriend and she said he sounded like GLaDOS and yeah he's creepy I can feel it without Violetpaw agreeing with me that she's scared of what will happen next. Where did Darktail get that blood thing????

I like Zelda. She seems to be Violetpaw's age I hope she is so they can kiss. ALSO THIS IS KINDA LIKE MENTORING??? Violetpaw should get a warrior name

TWIGPAW PUT A PILLOW UNDER HER BLANKET SO NO ONE WOULD NOTICE SHE LEFT AHAHAHHA I bet she went to find Skyclan didn't she

PURDY

NOOOOOOO PURDYYY NOOOOOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

my gf said indigestion can sometimes have those effects on a cat if its really bad i didn't know that

PURDY CANT BE GONE PLEAS

I am SO sad I knew this was coming and I hated it terrible awful

I never saw a vigil so sweet. We Are All Love Purdy.

OH RIGHT TWIGPAW GSGWHAHAH

I appreciate no one is annoyed or pissed theyre all just worried, I am too

Apparently Alderheart and Bramblestar disagree lot? They seem to get along great though. And uh I guess Bramblestar doesn't always take his advice but, that doesn't mean much they like talk about stuff and Bramblestar forms conclusions taking in consideration the stuff his son said and all. Idk, feels like a weird statement Twigpaw something tells me the Erins are failing to send a message somewhere

Fuck I hope someone finds twigpaw soon, her adventure has been fun but I'm terrified for her

Violetpaw seems to be having a hard time too, not only is everything awful and terrible plus we had a time skip of a few days so who knows what happened to Twigpaw. Anyways Violetpaw having to care for Needletail like a mentor is like a young teen having to care for a young adult's mental health and that always sucks for the kid, there's not much else that can be done though Needletail probably doesn't want to worry

Violetpaw :C

This is so sad and terrible, I wish Violetpaw could be with Twigpaw right now she wouldn't be starclan knows where if they were just together!!! I hope the other cats don't start saying nonsense about Violetpaw now. She's scared she won't be accepted in Thunderclan and doesn't see herself as worthy of acceptance, and feels responsible for her older friend. I'm :CC

PAGGDHAHAHA Zelda is a trash cat and I love her

Violetpaw is suffering so much and Darktail is absolutely brainwashing her ass and she can't understand how he is to blame for everything.

Oh boy when she does.

This is such a good story God im like very tired and in need of sleep but I can't stop reading

Oh God so much has happened, this is so terrible, I love that Mothwing and Alderheart are hanging out tho I forgot what a fun character she can be!!!

Thinking about how so much would be easier since book 1 if Onestar agreed to lend a helping paw. Thinking about the begging dying bodies piling up at his door. Thinking about onestar.

Oh scratch what I said earlier guys WHEN VIOLETPAW FINDS OUT DARKTAIL KILLED DAWNPELT OH BOY

Its terrible knowing dawnpelt isn't there and like, so far thinking she was in thunderclan, only to have thunderclan cats wonder if she's in shadowclan like oh God oh fuckle this is IT

I feel so bad for Loki and Zelda :c I would give them treats

What the fuck Darktail

Holy shit Darktail

I am noticing like, cats making seriously spot on assumptions of things that happened out of small information and idk if that really isn't realistic and just a way to make cats realize things or if I'm just too autistic to relate

I'm so glad the medicine cats treat anxiety. Last time I remember that happening was the prophecy begins but I might be forgetting somethin

The fear these cats have of the clans ending feels so real I am absolutely terrified for them and I love it

It doesn't make sense for twigpaw 2 die so I'm not buying it but wow this hurts

Violetpaw time

I am itching for them to find skyclan so bad

Violetpaw you're not Squirrelpaw or Leafpaw in the new prophecy you wouldn't have felt if Twigpaw died :P

Bro Needletail :c I miss when she was a wild free creature

This prisoner smuggling deal is so fun I am absolutely excited about everyone's plans, it can't all go well so soon though.

TWIGPAW YESSSS BABY I MISSED YOU

Twigpaw lactose intolerant moment

omg she had a vision

Vision cat be nice 2 my baby she is dying

TWIGPAW FOUND SKYCLAN YESSSS YES YES YES

OMG......HAWKWING.....AAAAAAA THATS HER DAD BRO SHE FOUND HER DAD IM YESSSS YEAYESYESYEYD

This is so good im so happy

This is so awful I'm so sad WHERES THE CLAN CATS they were supposed to show up when they were asleep right????? Fuck!!!

This is so scary

NEEDWETAIL IM

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Violetpaw definitely could have used a better friend at times, but God was Needletail good im so sad

Bramblestar: alderheart we need a point of view from thunderclan of what's happening so you're coming to the battle

OMG THEY DID IT!!!! I DID NOT EXPECT THAT WROW VERY NICE

Oh this is so exciting, how will they get Windclan back????

Twigpaw baby you always had your place here

I think they should both go to Skyclan but I understand if Twigpaw is indecisive she has always had a good life in Thunderclan.

Nononono Rowanstar, Scourge is the villain from the The Prophecy Begins here, your guy is named Darktail

Ominousnestar

I have been vaguely spoiled about Onestar being related to Darktail but I have no clue how

I can see Onestar's, Smoke's and Darktail's designs rotating in my mind its beautiful

I'm loving this story this is so cool

You dare challenge the warrior cats Fandom?

SKYCLAN, DROP YOUR CATS

RIVERCLAN, GET THE BUCKET

WINDCLAN, GRAB YOUR LEAFBLOWERS

THUNDERCLAN, GRAB YOUR LIGHTNING RODS

SHADOWCLAN, IDK MAN SAY BOO OR SOMETHING AHHAHA

I'm glad this is the prophecy this series really is Tumblr vs 4chan

Oh my god

This is so surreal

What an astounding battle wow and what an ending

I loved it

That was so so good

Everything here was fantastic, looking back its hard to believe they managed to fit so much plot into one book and like the pacing was Very Good this was just good writing wow? The development of Darktail, everything with Onestar, very fun I was on the edge of my seat through the whole thing it was incredibly fun. I’m very excited for what’s to come too, I worry it probably won’t be as fun and exciting as this since they already got rid of the biggest threat, unless they get another, but still like I really wanna know what’s gonna happen with Skyclan! And Violetpaw and Twigpaw!!!! How will the clans cope with all this loss and receive a new clan in the territories??? There’s a lot of good build up that I don’t know if it will live up to all that happened so far, but I think it can be very good and I’m excited, lots ahead of us!!! Oh boy!!

[prettyyoungtragedy]

Nothing like Home: Chapter 12 (Steve x Reader)

Chapter 12 (Nothing Like Home)

Steve x Reader x (Angsty Steve Rogers!)

Summary: Steve has found Bucky, but the relationship between the reader and Steve has gone sideways. There isn’t a happy ending here.  Steve and the reader have a tumultuous relationship. There is so much working against them at this point, yet somehow hey always end up back at square one with each other.  

 A/N: Relationships get a little blurred and indecisive. I tried to normalize life for the characters a little. I like writing them as normal as possible.

 Word Count: 3202

 Warnings: Smut (Sorry guys it gets a little smutty!) *unapologetic though*

6 Months later.

 You had grown accustomed to your prosthesis over the last few months, and had begun training regularly again. The prosthetic arm didn’t feel any different than a normal arm at this point and you had gone back to hand-to-hand combat training and as Tony had said, you bounced back harder and faster than ever, even besting Bucky a few times in training. Your prosthetic leg turned out to be a better weapon than any other, the force behind each kick was enough to shatter even metal, and you ran faster than the average person easily. Sam had lost bet after bet when he tried racing you every day, and it was becoming a thrill to win against your fellow Avengers.

Steve stayed with you through every physical therapy session, and anything you needed he was there to help you, no questions asked. Steve even went with you to your psychiatrist sessions, of course you made him wait outside but he did so, without complaining. Bucky helped more than anything, he woke early every day to help you train when your physical therapy was completed. He trained hard with you, bringing you back to the physical shape you were before your accident and you would be forever thankful to him for it. Sometimes it was so easy to blur the lines between friendship and feeling something else with Steve, you had spoken about it and agreed to be friends. The past had to be left alone as everything was different now. There were moments when you found yourself pining after those old feeling, the feelings of companionship and love but you would immediately pull them into check.

The last thing you needed was to complicate your already complicated life some more, with a relationship. To make matters worse, your emotions began to betray you around Bucky as well. The lines of friendship were beginning to blur with his flirting and charming conversations.

               ____________________________________________

 “Cannonball!” Peter yelled,

You were laying on the pool lounger under the warm summer sun, it had been a while since you had any time off, when Peter came barreling across the pool almost landing on top of you. You were sprayed with water the second he hit the water.

“Parker!” you yell at him,

“I’m sorry,” he laughed but didn’t look one bit sorry.

“Asshole, you’re a little asshole.” You say and then slip off the lounger into the cool water and swim to the edge, getting out.

Tony and Pepper sat nearby, lounging around for once. It had been a quiet Saturday morning around the compound. Sam, Steve and Bucky were downstairs, enjoying their much-needed time off from avenging, by watching Netflix. Sam helping Steve and Bucky as usual catch up to this century, Natasha had left the compound for the weekend, she had probably gone to see Clint, Wanda and Vision were somewhere off in the building minding their own business as they did.

Peter would come over every now and again just to ‘Hangout’, as he put it, but you knew he just wanted to be around Tony. The kid was star struck, it was kind of funny for you to watch sometimes, he would eagerly listen to everything Tony said and try to copy him. It was like Tony had a son he wasn’t aware of.

“Parker, stop torturing Y/N,” Tony called out, “She could probably kick your ass.”

Peter looked at your metal arm and leg and laughed then ducked beneath the surface of the water.

You grabbed a towel off the rack, drying yourself off, you see Steve come up the stairs and your eyes almost popped out of your head. He was shirtless and wearing boardshorts, his muscles practically rippling as he walked towards you, you had forgotten just how handsome Steve was, his blonde hair falling into his blue eyes, he had a smile on his face when he saw you. In the warm morning sun, he looked like the actual definition of a super soldier.

When you think about the face that Steve is almost a hundred years old, you can’t help but laugh out loud. “What’s so funny?” He asks coming over to where you are standing, he has a dazzling smile on his face which makes your heart thunder and you begin to wrestle those feelings again.

“Nothing, you’re just old as fuck.” You say, tossing your towel playfully at him.

“Where is that coming from?” he chuckled, grabbing your towel, his eyes strayed over your barely clad body.

Suddenly you felt self-conscious in your two-piece, and regret not covering yourself up with a towel. “You going to swim?” you ask Steve, trying to distract him

“I was thinking about it,” he replied, “Alternatively we could go get a drink?” he suggests

You look back at Peter who was now sitting by Tony and Pepper, obviously talking their ears off. the couple seemed content to just listen to him, rarely adding to the conversation.

“Yeah, Uhh let’s go get a drink,” You agree, not wanting to be a part of whatever topic of conversation Peter had chosen to subject Tony and Pepper to.

The two of you make your way downstairs, to the bar. You didn’t bother to put any clothes on as it was way too hot in the summer heat to do. It appeared Steve had the same thoughts, as you arrive at the bar in the living room, Bucky and Sam are sitting on the couching arguing over what Netflix show to watch next.

“Mind-Hunters sounds better!” Sam said matter-of-factly,

“The title is Mind Hunters?! How good of a show could it be?” Bucky argued,

“Listen Bud, you’re ancient. I am not taking Netflix advice from an old man.” Sam shot back,

“An old man who could still kick your ass Pal,” Bucky retorted,

Sam and Bucky were always arguing about something, you knew they were both vying for the position of being Steve’s best friend. Not that it mattered to Steve because he was equally fond of both.

They both stopped talking and turned to you and Steve when you walked into the room, “Mind Hunters or Rick and Morty?” Sam asked you,

“Oh, Rick and Morty for sure,” you respond without hesitation,

“I told you!” Bucky exclaimed,

“Cap?” Sam looked at Steve confidently,

“I don’t care enough for either,” He replied walking up to the bar, he took two glasses and filled them with ice.

“Steve man, you suck.” Sam said throwing a couch pillow at Steve,

Steve shrugged smiling, he picked up a bottle of Gin and began making a drink for the two of you.

Bucky looked between you and Steve, “What are you two doing?” he asked curiously,

“Getting a drink? Isn’t it obvious.” You say,

“Uh huh,” Sam said sarcastically, “fifty bucks says they hook up tonight,” he turned to Bucky,

“Sam what the hell!” You exclaim, almost laughing

Steve handed you a drink, seemingly ignoring Sam’s remarks, “If you ignore him, he will stop” he says to you, Bucky shook Sam’s hand “I will take that bet,” he grinned.

You look between Steve and the two of them, “Is this actually a thing right now? Are we going to pretend that Sam didn’t just bet on us having sex today?”

Steve shrugged again, “Sam has not won a bet against either of us since last year, the odds are never in his favor” Steve said smiling, “So I wouldn’t worry too much,”

“Okay first no you two always bet on dumbass things” he says pointing at Steve and Bucky, “Secondly, we are watching Mind Hunters and I still hate you” he then says to Bucky,

“Ohhkay, I do not want any part of this narrative, therefore I am going to excuse myself” You say, standing up from your seat drink in hand,

“I’ll join you.” Said Steve following you toward the door,

As you walk out you hear Bucky and Sam cat calling, and making rude noises. You flip them off before walking out, sometimes it was easy to forget they were all just human. After everything you had all been through, it was nice to have a moment to act stupid and childish.

Drinks in hand, you and Steve walked towards his room, it was unintentional. You had been talking for a good few minutes before you realized you were standing outside his bedroom door. Steve was so busy talking he hadn’t realized it yet, he opened the door and walked in, you followed him in knowing this was a terrible idea.

“Singing in the rain or Lord of the rings trilogy?” Steve asked, flipping through the DVR. The two of you were sat on his bed for the last hour, arguing over what movie to watch and you still hadn’t picked on.

“You can’t do that!” you exclaim, throwing a pillow at his head, “Those two movies aren’t even in the same category, God, you’re the worst at this!”

“Can you just pick one?” Steve said exasperated, “We have been going back and forth for an hour now.”

“Fine, Lord of the Rings,” you say, but from the look on Steve’s face you knew that was not going to happen.

“Shall we just flip a coin?” he said, by this point you were so over choosing a movie, you fell face first into the pillows on the bed, annoyed.

“I need another drink,” You say to him, Steve tosses you the remote and stood up, for a moment you thought he was going to get the two of you more drinks, but he walked over to the bookshelf and pressed something on the wall and the bookshelf turned around revealing a fully stocked bar.

“Holy shit, you have a fucking bar in your room?!” you exclaim jumping up excitedly off the bed, “Hey wait, why don’t I have one of these?”

Steve chuckled, “Tony had this put in, I have never used it.”

“Are you actually serious? Is it because you’re Captain America that’s why you get all the cool stuff?” You say, walking over to the bar, all the alcohol was expensive. Tony had gone to the extent of even getting a bottle of whatever Thor brought from Asgard for Steve, put in the bar.

You get busy making drinks, while Steve stands next to you watching you. You are attempting to make martinis with cherries and it isn’t going so well. When you’re done you hand Steve his concoction to which you have added the outer space liquor, and then take yours.

“Cheers Buddy,” you raise and clink your glass with his, the second you take a sip you immediately spat it out so did Steve,

“That is disgusting I’m sorry” laughed Steve setting his glass on the counter, “I can’t drink that,”

“Oh god, neither can I, I butchered this drink” you agree, but then decide to down it anyway your throat burning a little from the amount of alcohol that was in the drink. You put the glass back down on the bar trying not to throw up, and look at Steve. He had a shocked look on his face and then burst out laughing. The two of you were overcome with a fit of laughter at this whole situation, you were also a little tipsy by now.

Suddenly, Steve moved a little closer to you, and brought his hand up to your face. He wiped the corner of your mouth with his thumb.

Your heart started pounding in your chest when you looked at him, with all his shirtless glory, Steve stood well over 6 feet a stark comparison to your 5 ft 4 inches. You move closer to him and look into his sky-blue eyes, you didn’t know what was happening, but you didn’t want to ruin it by saying anything either.

Steve unexpectedly pulls you toward him and kisses you, it was soft at first and you immediately lean into the kiss. Your mind saying this is a bad idea repeatedly, but you didn’t stop, neither of you did. You link your arms around his neck and pull his body against yours, his arm circled around your waist locking you against him. Steve lifted you easily, and with two sure strides you were at the foot of the bed and he laid you down on the bed, breaking the kiss.

“What are we doing?” you said breathlessly when you and Steve tumble onto the bed,

“Being young and reckless?” He replies, kissing you again. You pull away, and laugh at his comment

“Could you be more cliché?” You laugh as he kisses your neck and shoulders, “Also you’re the furthest thing from being young.”

“Shhhh” he said placing his lips on yours, but now you had started talking and you had a burning question you had to get out the way before you did this.

“Steve?” you say softly pulling away, “Can I ask you a question?”

He looks at you, waiting for the question, “Is this the first time you are doing this since 1945?”

“Y/N can you shut up, you’re ruining the moment,” Steve says looking at you, his blue eyes playful, “And no, this is not the first time since 1945 okay.”  

You went back to kissing Steve, shutting your mind up you just enjoyed the comfort of having Steve so close to you. His hands roamed your body, he began to untie your bikini top, and you felt him hesitate. You couldn’t wait any longer, you pulled off your two-piece and look at him, his gaze falling across your naked body before him. He pulls you towards him again crushing his lips against yours, and the two of you fall into euphoric coitus. You never expected Steve to be so amazing in bed, the two of you fell into a rhythm easily and you lost yourself in the passion of Steve’s lovemaking, forgetting everything else for a while.

                                       _________________________________________________

By the third time, you were both completely out of breath. Steve’s super soldier stamina kept him going for hours, not that you were complaining. It was the most sex you’d had in years. You both collapse into the messy bedsheets, out of breath, you felt sweaty and your hair was a mess.

Steve lay next to you, a light sweaty glow across his torso, he turned to you “That was the most fun I’ve had since 1945,” he remarked,

You laughed, “likewise Rogers,” you raise your hand for a high-five which he surprisingly obliges you with,

Steve gets up and goes into the bathroom for a minute then emerges wearing a pair of grey sweatpants, “We have a problem,” he announced,

“What?”

“Sam wins the bet,” he groans,

You burst out laughing, you had completely forgotten the bet Sam and Bucky had made a few hours earlier. “Ah fuck, maybe we should just keep this between us?” you say,

Steve agrees, “I don’t want to be out 100 dollars,”

“So,” you said getting off the bed and pulling the bedsheet around you, to cover yourself up, “I am going to go to my room and possibly contemplate the pros and cons of what just happened here, but I will see you later for dinner. Which I am telling you we are having later, by the way.”

A surprised look flit across Steve’s face, “Oh, you don’t want to stay a little longer?”

“I’ll see you later Steve, I need to go get cleaned up,” You replied, he looked disappointed and you felt kind of bad, so you walked up to him and kissed his cheek, “Dinner, later, you and me. Okay?”

He nods and watches you slip quietly out of his room. Your walk of shame back to your roomwas cut short when you bumped into Peter, he was looking at his phone intently when you both turned the corner and walked smack into each other.

“Oh shit, Y/N, I’m sorry I didn’t see you…” he trailed off when he looked at you once over, you were still wrapped in the sheet from Steve’s bed and your hair was a mess, it was obvious what you had just come from doing and you knew Peter had immediately guessed it when he looked passed you at Steve’s room door.

“Are those hickeys?” He asked, trying not to laugh,

“Parker, I swear to God, if you say anything to anyone,” You threaten him,

“Is this really the time to be threatening me?” he laughs, he lifted his phone up and you heard the shutter of the camera go off,

“Peter!” you exclaimed “Delete that! Now!” and reached for his phone but he dodged out of your way laughing,

“This is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me in this building,” Peter said skipping away from you,

You attempt to run after him, but your legs get tangled in the sheet and you stumbled almost falling over.

“I’m keeping this photo for the next time you threaten to beat me up or call me a child,” Peter called out walking away from you with a big grin,

“You little shit!” You yelled after him, but didn’t bother running after him, you would cause and even bigger scene if anyone else saw you like this, so you rush off to your room, hoping you don’t bump into anyone else.

You walk into your room, and immediately shut the door behind you. You are barely make it to the bathroom before your mind starts panicking, you drop the sheet to the floor and look at it in horror. What the hell did I just do, you thought, a bubble of panic rising in your chest. You don’t know why you are in such a panicked state, it was just sex, but you knew it was going to end up being more than that at some point. You and Steve had crossed a line which you had vowed to yourself you never would cross with him. You pace naked across your bedroom floor, your heart hammering in your chest and suddenly you felt like you couldn’t breathe, you began to get dizzy and your knees buckle, you fall to the floor.

“Miss Y/L/N,” F.R.I.D.A.Y. says over the intercom in your room, “I believe you are having a panic attack, would you like me to alert Captain Rogers?”

“No! NO!” you gasp, “Don’t call him, I’m fine. Just open the windows please.”, F.R.I.D.A.Y. obliges and the windows to your room slid open the cool late afternoon air breezing in.

You squeeze your eyes shut, trying to steady your dizzying head. You had to get out of the compound, away from Steve and away from what you had done. You didn’t know why your first instinct was always to run away from your problems, but you didn’t care at this point. You grabbed underwear and pulled them on hurriedly then pulled on a pair of shorts, you barely had your t-shirt over your head when you were pulling the bedroom door open and standing at the door, with a raised hand about to knock was Bucky Barnes, with his impeccable timing for showing up at the worst times.

TAGS: @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @elaacreditava @seargantbcky @wildefire (Please let me know if you would like to be added to the tag list) :)

[katischuo]

all the questions you havent answered yet AND extra Q-fav thing bout' the oxford comma

2. what would you name your future kids? I’ve always had the name Angela Ridley in my back pocket as a girls name. However, I don’t know what I would do for a boy. Zachary Dylan was my go to, but I feel weird naming a child with the same names as people I know.

3. do you miss anyone? HELLA. Physically, I miss my boyfriend, as I haven’t seen him in about 2 years. But I really miss this guy named Gryphon that I met on Gaia Online (I was really into it in middle school and early high school). He was like an older brother to me when I was 15 or so but then one day, he sent me a message that he was being evicted from his apartment and I haven’t talked to him since. I really miss him. He was always so comforting.

4. what are you looking forward to? The potential of going out to Colorado this summer and the opportunity to catch up on reading all the books I have stacked in my to-read pile, as well as watching some movies and shows from my to-watch list.

5. is there anyone who can always make you smile? Always? I don’t know about that but both Iris and Andy are up there.

6. is it hard for you to get over someone? Gotdamn, you bet.

8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed? NO THAT’S CRAZY TALK I TOTALLY DIDN’T CRY AND SCREAM INTO MY PILLOW BECAUSE THE DAMN RADIATOR WAS SO LOUD IN MY DORM ROOM crazy.

9. who did you last see in person? My sister.

10. are you good at hiding your feelings? God, no. As my dad always tells me, I wear my heart on my sleeve.

11. are you listening to music right now? Nah. I’m actually waiting for an episode of Breaking Bad to buffer.

12. what is something you want right now? I want Andy to come here so I can cuddle with him because I am starving for physical affection.

14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you? Last week? I hugged Justin after not seeing him for months.

15. personality description Fuck. Um, I’m a nerdy science girl who just wants to know everything about everything. I’m stubborn to a fault and want to fix everyone’s problems, even though I can’t even fix my own.

16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t? This is only my life.

17. opinion on insecurities. I hate them. I have so many and I hate them.

18. do you miss how things were a year ago? Not in the slightest.

20. what is your favourite song at the moment? Idk something off of After Laughter. Probably Caught in the Middle? Or Pools.

21. age and birthday? I’m 20 years old and my birthday is February 13th.

23. fear(s) Mostly failure and rejection.

24. height I’m about 5′10″

26. idol(s) I’m going to have to reference you to my role models question because I really don’t see much of a difference.

27. things i hate Bigotry, suffering, and apathy.

29. favourite film(s) The Wind Rises and Moulin Rouge!

30. favourite tv show(s) The Walking Dead, Game of Thrones

31. 3 random facts 1) I try to carry a pencil with me when I read so I can mark sentences that strike a chord with me, so I can see where I was at mentally when I reread the book. 2) I have my library card number memorized. 3) I’m studying for a Linguistics minor purely out of the love for Linguistics.

32. are your friends mainly girls or guys? I think it’s pretty 50/50 now. 

33. something you want to learn EVERYTHING. But right now, this moment, I really want to learn how to enjoy chemistry.

35. favourite subject Biology, more specifically, Anatomy and Physiology.

36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill? 1) I want to persue medicine. 2) I want to at least be trilingual. 3) I want to get a fancy ass shower.

37. favourite actor/actress Me? A total slut for Natalie Dormer.

38. favourite comedian(s) John Mulaney? I don’t really keep up with comedians too much.

39. favourite sport(s) I love watching gymnastics! Participating-wise, swimming.

40. favourite memory Ohohohoo, this isn’t my favorite memory (I don’t want to get sappy here) but it definitely is one of my most precious memories. I was lounging on the couch, as one does, and my dad is standing at the open window in the living room. We’re talking about what a nice day it was and how beautiful the breeze was. He then proceeds to tell me how the air also smells beautiful and that it’s all thanks to Canada (as much of their weather comes down to us here in the ol’ Minnesota). Then he looks out the window and softly whispers “Thank you, Canada” and I fucking lost it.

41. relationship status Taken by an utter and complete nerd

42. favourite book(s) Mistborn by Brandon Sanderson and The Infernal Devices series by Cassandra Clare.

43. favourite song ever I’m going to stop you right there. I’m too indecisive for this.

44. age you get mistaken for Usually around 16 or 17.

45. how you found out about your idol role model Okay, here’s the story of how I stumbled upon Miss Angelina (albinwonderland) because it’s pretty obvious how I found out about my grandmother. Anyway, when I was 14 or so, Pewdiepie was just starting up and I watched him almost daily. Around this time, there was a competition called King of the Web or something like that, in which he was a part of. So of course, I go to the competition website and vote for him! I noticed with this competition that there was only one girl in the running and she had bright, bubblegum pink hair. Interested, I check out her YouTube channel and end up falling in love.

46. what my last text message says To my mother: “Are you on your way home? I was wondering if I should cook up dinner for Thomas and me or if I should just sit tight for a bit”

47. turn ons Common sense, passion, authenticity, confidence verging on cockiness (not really any physical turn ons for me)

48. turn offs Being an asshat, arrogance

49. where i want to be right now COLORADO

50. favourite picture of your idol I’m honestly too lazy to look for it, but it’s a picture on Angelina’s instagram of her wearing a Barbie crop top.

51. starsign Aquarius

52. something i’m talented at I’m pretty good at picking up new concepts. Like, I can do it pretty quickly, for the most part.

53. 5 things that make me happy 1) Naps 2) Vidy games 3) Books 4) Nice pens! 5) Puppies that get so exicted that the hop instead of walking.

55. tumblr friends Shit, you gonna make me @ some. Here are some of my favs: Andy @andu-senpai , Joe @jt-snow , Iris @howmanyletterscaniputinmyurl , Anya @vulpesnox , KP @royalslimefather , and Kalie @onthefrits

57. favourite animal(s) Giraffes, cows, and flamingos

58. description of my best friend Please refer to the description of my crush/boyfriend.

59. why i joined tumblr One of my friends recommended it to me.

60. ask me anything you want Favorite thing about the Oxford comma. It makes sentences less like to be misinterpretted and it’s cool enough to have a song about it (Oxford Comma by Vampire Weekend). In all honesty, I love the Oxford comma so much and those who don’t use it are WRONG.

[ohgoditsamy]

Am I a clean or messy person? Relatively clean Am I a tea or coffee person? Tea all the way! Am I a vegetarian/vegan? Neither Am I afraid of heights? Not really Am I allergic to anything? I hope not Am I an early bird or a night owl? Definitely a night owl Am I an extrovert or introvert? Introvert Am I an innie or an outie? Innie Am I easily embarrassed? Definitely Am I in a relationship? Yup! Am I left or right handed? Leftie! Am I much of a daredevil? I wish.. Am I scared of the dark? No Am I social? Uh I guess Am I superstitious? It depends Am I ticklish? Oh god.. Can I bake? Not well Can I cook? Again, not well Can I curl my tongue? Yup Can I dance? Uh.. I can do the charleston, the macarena, YMCA.. so uh Can I drive? Nearly!! Can I juggle? Lol nah Can I play poker? Lol nah Can I roll my r’s? You bet Can I sing? Well I’m not tone deaf but I wouldn’t go as far as saying I can sing Can I spell well? I hope so Can I swim? Yup Can I wiggle my ears? Kinda?? Do I correct people when they make mistakes? Sometimes.. Do I have a collection of anything? 50p’s, squashed pennies, cool money Do I have a strong accent? Nah Do I have any nicknames? “Weema” - my dad Do I have any pet peeves? Bad grammar, when people spell it “defiantely”, people who put the milk in first Do I have any piercings? Nah Do I have any strange phobias? Let me think about that one idk Do I have more girl friends or boy friends? Probably 50/50 Do I have much of an ego? God no Do I judge a book by its cover? Uh, I guess as first impressions Do I like bubble baths? Too right Do I like classical music? Yeah Do I like clowns? Nope Do I like my handwriting? God no Do I like roller-coasters? Sure Do I like scary movies? Yeah Do I like shopping? Yup Do I like to gossip? Not really Do I like to talk on the phone? Depends who it’s to Do I like travelling? Yeeeepp Do I play any instruments? Piano! Do I sleep with the lights on or off? Of Do I smile at strangers? I try to Do I suck or bite lollipops? Suck, cheeky Do I talk to myself? Yup Do I tend to hold grudges? Unfortunately Do I use earphones or headphones? Earphones, but I prefer headphones Do I use sarcasm a lot? Dunno man, do I Do I want any tattoos? Some cute flowery ones Do I wear glasses? I did for a year? But now I don’t need them? Have I ever been on a plane? Once Have I ever been on tv? Not that I remember lmao Have I ever been to the hospital? Yup Have I ever crashed a car? Not yet Have I ever got in trouble with the law? Not yet Have I ever had a rumour spread about me? Well if it was, I dunno about it Have I ever had braces? Nope but soon I will Have I ever pulled an all-nighter? Yup Have I ever skipped school? Yup, karma got me though Have I ever started a rumour? Idk I hope not Have I ever thrown up in the car? Uh?? I dunno man How long does it take for me to get ready? Not long, I spend most of my getting ready time drinking tea How many relationships have I ever had? Just the one How old was I when I first got my period? I dunno like 12 How tall am I? 5ft 8? What am I most likely to be doing when I am outside? Walking most probably What am I usually doing on a Friday night? Sitting in bed What are my favourite bands? God um, Arctic Monkeys, Two Door Cinema Club, RHCP, Green Day, Gorillaz - idk it changes every 10 minutes What are my favourite flowers? Roses, Daffodils What can I smell in the air? Not much really, maybe shea perfume What colours mostly dominate my wardrobe? Black, blue, crimson What is my appearance like? Pale complexion, brown hair, blue eyes What is my culture? Idk, white british? Is that right? What is my current wallpaper on my phone? A collage of the same picture of my boyfriends face What is my full name and why did I get it? Amy Helen Blackford, because my parents chose it lmao What is my greatest strength? Lmao probably art, I’m just mediocre at everything What is my greatest weakness? Nerves. What is my guilty pleasure? The 80s What is my Hogwarts house? Ravenclaw What is my most expensive piece of clothing? Uh a pair of duck egg coloured docs at a guess What is my most heavily used makeup product? Revolution Flawless Matte 2 What is my most used phrase? Currently “lmao” or “man” cause I’m a generic piece of shit What is my most used word? I don’t really have a personal word count so.. What is my personality like? A bit bland, occasionally funny, easily pissed off, indecisive, persistent, annoying What is my personality type? INTP? Idk I had to google this one What is my religion? Unspecified, I’m not bound to a religion and I as never baptised  - who knows what / if I’ll be. What is my spirit animal?  What is my strangest talent? Uh, this is a weird one but if I were to place my hands as if I were to clap them I can make a weird ass fart noise with my hands?? I haven’t got any decent talents. I’m a bit useless. Oh wait I can cross my legs twice too What is my zodiac sign? Gemini What is one trend that I completely bought into? The 90s trend? What is something I can’t do no matter how hard I try? Fucking piano exams. Playing piano in front of people. Guitar.  What is something I hated as a child that I like now? God, too many things. Eminem, the colour pink, more feminine things What is the last thing I bought? Other than my final set of driving lessons, I bought my boyfriend Mass Effect Andromeda What is the longest I’ve ever gone without sleep? Probably like 20 hours? 22? What is the pet I would like to have? Just more dogs, oh, and a fox What is the worst injury I’ve ever gotten? Spraining my wrist, I’m a bore What language do I want to learn? I know some French, but I’d like to be fluent What video games do I play when I want to relax? Destiny, Overwatch, GTA V.. What was the last book I read? Black-Eyed Susans What was the last movie I saw? Ghost in the Shell, cinema last night What word do I always use as an exclamation? FUCK! What word do I always use to describe something great? Like anything positive, it can range from “cool” to “HOLY SHIT” Where do I currently live? Near Leicester, UK Which is my favourite season? Summer / Autumn

Favourites

What is my favourite accent? French, Russian, posh British (Southern), German, Italian.. most accents really What is my favourite animal? Just dogs, I fucking love dogs What is my favourite band? I dunno this! It changes every 10 minutes! What is my favourite childhood book? I had this giant bumper Disney book  What is my favourite colour? Pastel pink, blues, yellows, greens What is my favourite drink? TEA. What is my favourite flavour of ice cream? Vanilla What is my favourite food to eat on a rainy day? Soup What is my favourite food to eat on a sunny day? Depends, if it’s hot then ice cream! What is my favourite number? 19, no reason it’s just a nice number What is my favourite place on the planet? Scotland What is my favourite radio station? Radio X What is my favourite sandwich? Ham, cheese, lettuce, cucumber and salsa (specifically Subway #NotSpon) What is my favourite snack? Tea and biscuits What is my favourite song? Currently Love by Lana Del Rey What is my favourite swear word? Fuck. It just fits every situation. What is my favourite word? I just came across the word “Idiosyncratic” meaning distinctive, individual and I love it. What is my favourite thing to wear? It’s generic but mom jeans, they’re comfortable as fuck and I have a pair with flowers on so they’re super pretty !

People

Do I remember the day I met …? My boyfriend. The day I met him. Hell yeah he was a weird kid standing on a table - he shook up an energy drink (specifically Rockstar Guava which I happen to love) and stabbed it with a pin so it spirted out. He continued to do this for a few days. Little did I know it was actually to get my attention specifically. How are my mother and I similar and different? We looked exactly the same at the age of 5. However she is very quick to judge people I am not so What are the compliments I have given other people? I like your outfit, makeup, eyes, hair, smile, eye colour, music taste, art skills What are the compliments people have given me? Nice outfit, You’re pretty What do my best friend and I have in common? We’re both gemini and left-handed. This is also my boyfriend. I have a few other close friends but idk if they consider me as close What gifts would I like to give everyone? Everything they want. Paints, anything yellow, games, clothes, anything. What if I could meet anyone on this planet – who would I choose? Bob Ross Where is my best friend? At work, sucks to be him. Which actors & actresses do I trust enough to watch whatever they’re in? Leo DiCaprio, um.. Which teachers inspired me the most? None of my school teachers Who are my favourite characters? From what TV shows? Tony Stonem, Cassie Ainsworth - Skins. I can’t think of any film ones right now.. Who are my friends? Everyone in my college course, a few I met on Xbox Who are my parents? The ones who.. y’know, made me. Those people. Who are my sisters? Just the one, she’s annoying. Jk lmao. Who are the new people I met? – their names and where we met. Kirstyyy!! Met at college and became friends cause she was wearing an MCR shirt that day. Plus all the other folks at college. Who are the writers I trust enough to read anything they write? I need to fuckin read more. Who brings the sunshine on the days I see nothing but a grey sky? The bae lmao plus all my friends. Who is my best friend? I swear we have had this question. Who is my celebrity crush? 90s: Leo DiCaprio, Angelina Jolie, Winona Ryder. But also Kaya Scodelario, Chris Pratt. Mate just anyone if they’re famous and reasonably attractive. Who is my favourite youtuber? Emma Blackery, basically the only youtuber I still have the time and patience to watch  Who is my role model? Probably Emma Blackery Who is my secret valentine? Secret one? Uh, the bae. SECRETS OUT LADS Who is someone I admire? Admiration and appreciate for Bob Ross if you please Who is someone that saved me? Nathan, from my cripplingly low self-confidence and ability to speak to people Who is the most intelligent person I know? This guy called Jamie, can play guitars ambidextrously, is a killer at maths and science. Who is the most supportive person in my life right now? Nathan and Kirsty thx u guys Who was the last person I texted? NATHAN Who would I like to go on a midnight adventure with? Idk man who was I just talkin about Who would I love to randomly see this week? Any friends, I love meeting up with friendos! Who would I really like to hug? NATHAAN Who would I really like to punch? NATHAAAAAAAAAN Why am I grateful for …? Who? Nathan? Cause he’s cool, talks about problems n shit, treatin me right  Why am I grateful for dad? Cause he helps me out with a lot of shit Why am I grateful for mum? Same as dad to be fair

Music

A playlist for 12-year-old me - Every album ever written by; My Chemical Romance, Black Veil Brides, Fall Out Boy A playlist for throwback Thursday, Bohemian Rhapsody, Daydream Believer, Spin me around, Snow (Hey oh), I’m Just Here For The Free Beer A playlist for when I’m angry - Survival, This means war, Lake of Fire A playlist for when I’m in love - Spin Me Around, Love A playlist for when I’m in the mood to party My House, I’m not in love, Earthquake A playlist for when I’m sad - Everybody’s gotta learn sometime, Kitchen Sink A playlist of songs that I have on repeat - My house, Where the girls at,  A playlist that makes me want to dance - Nancy Mulligan, Galway Girl A playlist that makes me want to sing - Mr Brightside, Ruby, Chelse Dagger, Don’t you want me A playlist to inspire me - Anything by Lana A playlist to listen to on the bus/train - Anything by Lana, Twenty one pilots A playlist with the classics - Like a Prayer, True Colours,  A song that really speaks to me - I’m honestly not sure A song that was stuck in my head today - Love, by Lana Bands and their logos - Arctic Monkey’s logo is cool, as is Nirvana’s Song lyrics - “I wanna fuck a dog in the ass” lmao just the funniest lyrics I know from Blink 182 What are the first 6 songs when I put my playlist on shuffle? Semi-Automatic, Are you gonna be my girl, First Date, Blue Jeans, Walk, Lake of Fire What song always brings a smile to my face? Spin me around

Places

A place where the architecture made me want to wake up and see the city skyline every morning - Not that I’ve been there but New York A place where the customer service made me tip £100 - God I hope that’s not a thing A place where the memories were unforgettable - I know too many places for this A place where the nature made me want to live in the middle of nowhere - Scotlandddd A place where the people restored my faith in humanity - Scotlaaanddddd How to get to my favourite place - A seven hour ball-ache of a drive to..... SCOTTLAAAAANDDD Places I have never been to but want to see. Grand Canyon, Great Wall fo China, Great Barrier Reef, The Phillippines, Canada Somewhere I want to go before I die - Australia / America Somewhere I want to go before I turn 20 - ‘MURICAAA Somewhere I would rather be right now. - Wait for it.... SCOTLAAAAND What are the popular places in town? - In my town? The cinema, Costa? I dunno What is the worst place I’ve been to? Blackpool. Where is my favourite place to shop? Urban Outfitters Where was I born? George Eliot Hospital

Lists

A list of every single song on the albums released by my fav bands “fav” lmao I’m dying can I just list some good songs here thanks

Stolen Dance - Milky Chance Blue Jeans - Lana Del Rey Trees - twenty one pilots Stan - Eminem Human - Rag’n’Bone Man Nancy Mulligan - Ed Sheeran

I cant think of any more

Every tom and jerry’s ice cream flavour (I want to try).

Fuck my LIFE all of them

Places I would like to see.

Grand Canyon Niagra Falls Cute beaches Mountains

Sounds I like.

Piano Birds Water

Sounds I dislike.

My dad shouting up the stairs at me : ))

Sports I like.

Badminton Basketball

Star signs.

Gemini? Idk?? 

The first 5 things I saw on my way home.

I only left the house for my driving lesson today idk

The first 5 words that come to mind.

I don’t know what to write

The main roman gods.

Is this a test

The main Greek gods.

Zeus. The end.

Things I don’t own but like.

Self appreciation

Things I want to buy.

An iPhone 6S, I have an iPhone 5S and the home button’s broken

Top 10 episodes to watch

Skins S1 Ep’s 1-9, then carry on. Just go past 10 episodes and finish S2.

Top 10 favourite quotes.

“What, you egg!       [He stabs him]”

“Hamlet: O fuck.      [Exit Hamlet]”

I probably have some favourite serious quotes but I forgot them

Top 10 movies to watch.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind 10 Cloverfield Lane Every single Harry Potter Girl, Interrupted Every single Star Wars

Techically that’s more than 10

Top 10 people I want to meet.

I’m not even sure, Emma Blackery? Bob Ross if he were here?

Top 10 places in Manchester.

None I want to visit.

Top 10 restaurants I love.

Rossini’s, Prezzo (though I actually recently heard bad reviews so I may retract that one), Zizzi’s, Windsor Tiffin

What is the sentence on line 13 of page 23 in the book nearest to me?

The book nearest me is a Piano book and I’m not going to write sheet music on here. The song on Pg. 23 is called Here, There and Everywhere though

What movies do I watch when I’m feeling down?

Kids movies - Toy Story, Finding Nemo etc

What tv shows do I always recommend?

Sk-Sk-Sk.. SKINS

What were my favourite tv shows as a child?

Doctor Who (I accidentally just typed Doctor Whom and I’m pissing myself holy shit), Tracey Beaker, 50/50, Raven, Trapped! Drake and Josh

What words don’t seem real to me?

Albertopolis, Bindlestiff

Wish list

That fucking iPhone 6S

Experiences/Memories

A memory in summer

Walks down to a nearby village to have picnics

A memory in winter

A drunkard Christmas party in which I threw up on myself 3 times, twice missing a plastic bag as it was folded over and the sick just kinda rolled onto me.

A memory with my family.

Going to France

A memory with my friends.

Wetherspoons Wednesday!!

I’ll never forget the day (a teacher) did this.

Made me write a half page essay about a poem as I did not answer 3 questions on it for homework. I completed this essay in about 2 minutes having read the poem, she looked shocked I’d done it so fact so I got up and left.

Memories from high school

“Are you emo?” “Are you goth?” “You were a lot of black” None of this I do anymore.

Special moments I want to witness.

One of my mates weddings, he’s engaged

The story behind my first kiss

The most awkward peck on a street corner as a goodbye, however it was good

The story behind my last kiss

It simply just happened, probably again as a goodbye for the night

The stories behind my scars

I have a scar on my chin, about an inch and a half in length due to a birthmark I had removed at the age of 8.

What are the memories I never want to forget?

Basically everything the year I met Nathan and everything this year for these have been some of the happiest years of my life.

What is my saddest memory?

I recently lost a guinea pig I’d owned for 4 years, I hadn’t had the time to give her attention in the latter months of her life so I never really said goodbye to her. I’ll regret it forever.

What is the first thing I remember?

Being pushed down the slide by some bitch called Charlotte at the age of about 2. I was really pissed and blamed her up until about 6 months ago when I realised I was in fact the asshole as I was climbing up the slide. I didn’t see the problem with climbing up it until recently lmao

What is the funniest thing I remember?

Um.. itS SEXUAL SO... I’ll save it for another time.

What was my most embarrassing moment?

I was on a school trip, they took all of our water bottles off us on arriving at the destination. I was parched as I never got my water bottle back like everyone else, and when I did I drank the entire thing and it went through me. On the way home from the school trip I had to stop the entire double decker coach because I was about to piss myself.

What was the happiest day of my life?

Idk meeting Nathan for the first time and going on a three hour walk around my small village

What was the last concert I went to?

Busted, last May

What was the most amazing thing I’ve ever witnessed?

Breathtaking views from Scottish Mountains?

What was the most disappointing thing in my life?

I’d been wanting a Nintendo DS lite for a good year, every time the adverts came on I’d scream about how I wanted the pink one. Did I get one? No. My younger sister, aged 4 at the time got one. 

What was the most nervous I’ve ever been?

Holy shit there are so many examples, having teeth out etc..  Most recent though was a piano exam I was 100% prepared for, in the exam my hands were shaking so much I couldn’t play.

What was the saddest day of my life?

Finding out my boyfriend had done something which apparently I later found out he didn’t do, at the time I was distraught however.

When was I last scared for my life?

I don’t think I legitimately ever have been

Letters

A note to my favourite teachers. You were great.

Dear Nathan, I would like to tell you. That you’re awesome and you should love me forever lmao

Dear 5-year-old me. MAKE FRIENDS YOU FUCK

Dear 10-year-old me. GET PIANO LESSONS NOW YOU FUCK

Dear 13-year-old me. STOP BEING EMO YOU FUCK

Dear 15-year-old me. WELL DONE, YOU’RE IMPROVING BUT SORT UR HAIR OUT

Dear 16-year-old me. Ur gonna be fine, look at u now, cheer up man

Dear 18-year-old me. Get drunk, go on, ur 2 months ahead of me

Dear 21-year-old me. IF YOU DIDNT GRADUATE FROM UNI I WILL CRY

Dear 25-year-old me. I hope you have a house and your engaged or something decent, please have a job

Dear all the boys I’ve liked. Lmao why did I like you 

Dear someone I need to forgive. You’re forgiven, whoever you are?

Letters to my future children. fuck off you sperm cells

Questions to answer

A wise person learns from the mistakes of others – do I agree? No, a person becomes wise from learning from their own mistakes. 

Advice to any if the new kids at sf. At the what?

Am I a bad loser? It depends what it is :(((

Am I a good liar? If I want to be

Am I a writer? Hell I wish

Am I an artist? I mean sort of

Am I good at giving advice? Hell I wish

Am I happy with myself? Good joke 

Am I happy with the person I’ve become? Well from what I was, yes

Am I the kind of friend I would like to have as a friend? Ew no

Books I always reread. Uh..

Can insanity bring on more creativity? I think so, sadness does

Do I admit when I’m wrong? Rarely

Do I believe that people are capable of change? Sometimes, but remember I said I hold grudges so I’d probably not trust you for years

Do I belong here? Belong where? I’m in bed so fuck yea

Do I hold grudges? WHAT WERE WE JUST TALKING ABOUT

Do I have trust issues? Yup..

Do I like confrontation? I can confront people, but I don’t like being confronted

Do I live or do I just exist? Existing, waiting to live.

Do I prefer to be on camera or behind it? Behind, but if I totally had the confidence I’d wanna be in there

Do I really want a cat? Cats are cool

Do I trust easily? What the fuck this is the same question, no I do not

Have I ever been bullied? Sorta?

Have I ever been on a date? I don’t even know lol

Have I ever felt like I wasn’t enough? All the time

Have I ever felt rejected by my friends/family? All the time

Have I ever had a friend turn into an enemy? Idk some former friends hate me, and I hate some former friends. No enemies, no arguments though.

Have I ever had a paranormal experience? Used to see someone walk around my dads house and hear banging in the loft - both stopped around the same time however so they’re probably related.

Have I ever had a public perception of me change from good to bad? Idk, Idk what “the public” think of me

Have I ever had a song or poem written about me? No but how cute would that be

Have I ever hopelessly failed a test? WHAT WAS I SAYING ABOUT PIANO.

Have I learnt from my mistakes? Yes but I never follow through cause I’m useless

How am I feeling? Useless man I should be doing college work

How do I find comfort when I’m sad? Tea and biscuits.

How do I vent my anger? Arguing, shouting.. it’s bad.

How do I want to be remembered? As a decent person

How could I avoid getting hurt? Pretend you’re not. Be sarcastic n fuckin take it like a truck.

How does a (any appliance around the home) work? Well you see, with a vacuum right, you plug it in and you turn it on. Then it sucks away the dirty shit on your floor. Why is this a question.

How I think will determine how I live – agree or not? Yeah, your thoughts impact your decisions, your decisions impact what happens around you.

How would I define my sense of humour? Sometimes dark, sometimes punny, memes, shit.

What am I like when I’m angry? Argumentative, aggressive, talk back

What am I most afraid of? Being forgotten, left behind

What are some things that stand between me and complete happiness? Self-confidence, nerves

What did I like about being a kid? Not giving a fuck

What did I want to be when I was younger? Fashion designer, teacher, hair dresser, doctor, F1 driver, artist.. you name it.

What do I admire most in others? Kindness, generosity, respectfulness

What do I hate about sf? WHAT THE FUCK IS SF

What do I hate most about myself? My huge ass nose, teeth, nerves, personality

What do I love most about myself? The fact my eyes are blue ? 

What do I notice first when I see someone? Eyes

What do I think about selfies? Sometimes I take good ones

What do I think about the most? Tea

What do I think could be improved in the educational system? Pretty much all of it, the way personal and social skills is taught specifically.

What do I think people think of me? Annoying

What do I touch first when I stick my arms out? My dog

What do I wish I didn’t miss? Um?

What do I wish for every night? To be more productive, a cup of tea

What does a rainbow mean to me? Usually that it’s been raining, I’m pretty black and white.

What fictional character do I wish was real? None really?

What fictional universe would I like to be a part of? Harry Potter or something, maybe X men. Have a wand or some special ability, it’d be cool.

What is an experience that has made me stronger? Getting a job which requires speaking to people

What is an item of clothing or jewellery you’ll never see me without? My half 50p necklace

What is my biggest dream and how do I plan on making it become a reality? Going travelling.. I have no idea how.

What is my biggest what if? What if I’d never met Nathan. Would I be a not talkative emo fuck

What is my greatest achievement? Designing the logo for my local carnival? Designing a company brochure (in the making)

What is my greatest failure? Hopefully not my driving test next week.

What is my secret weapon to get someone to like me? Uh. My killer dank memes.

What is one aspect of myself that I feel confident about? My makeup. 

What is one thing I am interested in learning more about? North Korea

What is something that makes me feel vulnerable? My nerves and easy ability to be angry or upset by something

What is the best gift I’ve ever received? My half 50p necklace

What is the first thing I think of when I hear the word ‘heart’? FUcking hell.. the heart emoji. I want to die for that answer, but if I didn’t put it I’d be lying

What is the hardest lesson I have had to learn in life? What I do when I’m learning something, it won’t be perfect first time.

What is the ideal age to be and why? 18 forever, old enough to be responsible for yourself, young enough to go places and have fun.

What is the most scandalous situation I’ve ever been involved in? I broke into an abandoned house?

What is the nicest thing about a person? Their kindness

What is the single best decision I’ve made in my life so far? Switching to Graphic Design course over Art and Design cause the people on Art and Design were shit and I wasn’t happy.

What is the single worst decision I’ve made in my life so far? Being emo aged 12-15

What makes a great relationship? A good balance of friendship, love and lust.

What makes me smile? A good joke, hanging with friends What motivates me to succeed? University, the idea of success

What part of my life would I relive if I could? Most of my childhood?

What part of my life would I remove if I could? The old person part, I don’t wanna be frail, ill and dying unable to do anything and it’s just a waiting game to death.

What question am I afraid to tell the truth to? None really?

What questions would I ask to get to know someone better? What stuff they’re into?

What was I doing at 12am last night? Talking to friends

What was I like as a child and how did my personality change as I got older? More understanding, loving, friendly now

What was my favourite subject in school? Art What was the last lie I told? I can’t remember, who knows, I could’ve been lied to and I don’t know

What was the most ridiculous thing that made me cry? My piano exam, having my teeth out, several films, nothing

What will I do in university? GRAPHIC DESIGN BOI I’M EXCITED

What would I change about my sf? My what the fuck

What would I change about my life if you knew I would never die? Uh.. I don’t wanna not ever die it’d be lonely.

What would I change about the world? Be rid of the old arseholes in Government, disrespectful people, terrorists

What would I like to change this year? BE MORE PRODUCTIVE (ironic I’ve been doing this for over an hour)

What would I do differently if you knew that no one was judging me? Everything.

What would I do in the event of an apocalypse? Probably plan a living strategy

What would I have to see to cry tears of joy? Dogs.

What would I want written on my tombstone? Idk probably something funny like “Active 23 mins ago” or some quote I like

When did I experience stage fright or nervousness in front of a crowd? FUCKING. PIANO. EXAM.

When do I feel most at peace? In bed.

When did I last send a handwritten letter to someone? My french pen friend, year 8

When did I not speak up, when I know I really should have? Several times.

When did I witness something controversial and had to keep it a secret? I don’t think so

When was the last time I cried? Wednesdy, over my FUCKING PIANO EXAM

Where do I see myself in 10 years’ time? uh, in my own house I hope

Where do I want to live? Still not figured this one out

Where is the best place to get pizza? Rossini’s omg

Where would I go if I got a plane ticket to anywhere? ‘MURICAAA

Which do I value more in others, brains or beauty? Brains

Who do I get on with better, girls or boys? Used to just be girls but now both really

Who do I miss the most? No one?

Who do I need the most? Nobody cause IM A FREE WOMAN

Why couldn’t I get out of bed this morning? Because it’s me and I’m lazy.

Why couldn’t I sleep last night? Because it’s me and I’m shit.

Why do I hate insects? Because it’s me and I hate them.

Why do dogs hate me and I hate them? Wait what no

Will you lend me a hand – how do I think this idiom got started? Because I can’t carry something or I’m confused

Would I ever spread gossip? I hope not

Would people consider me a diva? I hope not? I don;t think I am?

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FRENCH GIRLS: WHAT, WHERE & HOW THEY EAT TO KEEP IT SLIM & TRIM

This post needs no introduction. You guy shave met Ingrid so many times, as you know our story. & if you don’t…

I found her on a friend of a friend of a cousin’s sister’s page or something when I was deep in an Instagram stalk like 4 years ago. I liked her feed immediately ( if you want to see, go DEEP into her Instagram ). She was super open with sharing recipes, skinny hacks, & diet tips. As Ingrid would say, she “wasn’t stingy” with her tips. I liked the vibe.

So I followed her on Instagram, silently watching her skinny recipes from afar for years.

HERE’S HOW CRAZY LIFE IS GUYS: I was in Monaco AND SAW HER AT THE HOTEL WE WERE HAVING LUNCH AT. I whispered to Michael that “THAT was THAT girl I followed on Instagram!” Michael looked at me like I was fucking crazy. But first things first, I had to see what she was eating…from a distance. LIKE MOVE MICHAEL- YOU’RE BLOCKING MY VIEW. Creepy? Come on, we’ve all been there. I wanted to see the whole thing. Like what was she eating to get those abs? Was she having protein? What kind?

Anyway, I wanted to see her in action- I love her philosophy of substituting & modifying foods. It’s something I’ve been about FOREVER. Her lifestyle is just inspiring.

But back to what she was eating.

You can bet your ass it was greens to start, some protein, fiber, & a glass of wine!

I didn’t say hi because I didn’t want to interrupt ( wait, let’s be honest here. What would I say? Hi, I’m Lauryn & I have followed you online all the way from California for the last few years…& eer, I happened to run into you in France? Oh, and can you cook me your skinny Spanish rice? I’m available for dinner ). So I didn’t say hi.

But I did DM her on IG. & we became friends. Now I train with her & do THE METHOD®, cook her recipes, & we met with our husbands in Monaco & Morocco. She’s become such a good friend & is constantly providing so much value on her channels which we love.

I’ve been so impressed with how she has taken an idea then launched her Simply Gangster Chic inulin, adjusted it from consumer feedback, & brought in other products. Products like her rose oil, amber rocks, & cookbook.

I cook with inulin all the time. In fact, yesterday I made skinny pancakes with it & it creates this thick consistency, almost like you’re cooking with flour, but it’s actually artichoke fiber so it makes your gut feel great.

If you don’t know what inulin is you have to check it out.

“Inulin is a nutrient which cannot be digested or absorbed in the body, meaning it is classed as a fibre. It is also one of the best known sources, as it boasts almost 90g of fibre per 100g! Inulin can also be obtained through foods such as asparagus, onions, garlic, artichokes, chicoree root, acacia and sweet potatoes. This vegan-friendly nutrient has received masses of attention recently from both the scientific community and media outlets due to its versatility, qualities. It has gained so much recognizance from doctors & health practitioners, such as Dr. Stephen Gundry, Dr. Axe , Dr. Hyman and many more.” source

You guys know I put this in my coffee every day. If you want to know more about it stalk the morning ritual here.

With out further ado, welcome back Ingrid de la Mare Kenny, the badass behind Simply Gangster Chic & THE METHOD®. In this post you can expect Ingrid’s tips on mindful indulgences, how to chill at lunch like a chic French girl, & how to add inulin into your life.

♡♡♡

So, I am part French, but when it comes to eating I’m 100% French for sure, and that’s by choice. Why? Because when I moved from NYC to Monaco, I realized these French people have their shit together, and by their shit I mean they have figured out that CORTISOL levels are everything, especially when it comes to keeping it low while consuming their 3 meals a day. And so, it’s as much what they eat as how they eat that makes the French waistline enviable to fast-paced, diet conscious Americans.

Here is a break-down of what 3 days of eating is like for oh so French moi! I purposely chose Thursday, Friday and Saturday, to help make the distinction between week-days (workdays) and week-ends.

THURSDAY 

I start my day with an early workout with my client Ella, so that’s the perfect day to elect as an Intermittent Fast 8pm-1pm (16 hours) — you can read how I intermittent fast right here on TSC.

I prepare my Simply Inulin Metabolic Boosting Coffee (Here is a video of how to prepare it)– Having simply inulin coffee doesn’t break your fast if you make sure that your plant-based milk is free of gums and only contains 3 ingredients: nuts, water & salt — it’s really important, to realize that plant-based milk can and will not only disrupt your fast with obscure ingredients like xantham gum or lecithin (a chemical word for modified soy), but it will also most probably cause gut inflammation.  

I will slowly sip on my coffee, pre-workout and possibly finish it or have another post-workout.

But what happens if I wake up hungry?  Surprise, surprise! I EAT, I am French so whatever my ghrelin hormone wants I am going to give to her. Why? Because your ghrelin hormone needs to be satisfied, short of doing so you will raise your cortisol levels and cause insulin resistance (aka Stubborn Fat Deposits in and around the midsection). But enough with the science.

I will attempt to satisfy my hunger first with a bowl of berries (they are high in fiber and very satiating) and often that will do the trick. If it doesn’t work I will have my French Chocolate Chip Cookies made with tahini & Simply Inulin (ps: Dr. Gundry said that inulin is the solution to avoid weight gain, terrible digestion and prevents the bad bacteria from taking over your waistline). It’s rich in fatty acids which balances the hormones, high in fiber with the inulin (and that cancels out some of the carbs too) and it’s a gut health aid because it contains potato starch (instead of flour). Potato starch is a resistant starch that arrives in the colon intact, good bacteria feeds on it, producing beneficial short-chain fatty acids. Resistant starch carries many benefits: it strengthens the gut, burns fat, and protects against colon cancer, diabetes, and heart disease. 

Anyway… keep in mind I’m having a simple cookie today because it was meant to be an intermittent fasting day and I got hungry. The cookie for sure will keep me going until lunch at 1 pm.

♡ 1pm – Lunch

Where? Away from my desk and from my work place. Usually a pleasant (outdoorsy if weather permits) setting and during the work-week a less noisy environment.

How Long? In France, lunch breaks can last up to 2 hours. My lunch is usually 1h or 1h 15 mins and that is non-negotiable. I purposely do not schedule any appointments or meetings during my lunch window (it’s not difficult to do so because everything is closed, except restaurants and everyone is sitting  having lunch).

How? Never ever on the go. Never ever in plastic bowls, plates or utensils. No such thing as walking and eating at the same time in France. And no such thing as eating out of plastic. If I take-away, I will transfer my food to a china plate. NON-NEGOTIABLE (definitely avoiding endocrine-disrupters).

What? Unlike Americans (according to an array of French waiters in Paris and the South of France) who are indecisive about what to eat, and will study the menu from top to bottom for a while, and debate on what to eat, I, as the very French person that I am, know exactly what I like to eat, and what I need to be eating. It will catch my eye immediately on the menu.

Starter – L’entrée: I start with an artichoke salad, with arugula and shaved parmesan. And I will have 2 bites of the bread soaked in olive oil while I wait for my order.

If I am not working out that afternoon with a client and I’m just going to the office or meetings, I’ll have a glass of white wine. A glass of white wine halfway filled is not going to get me buzzed.  

Main Course – Le Plat de Resistance: What more food? Yes! Salad is not a meal in France. And it often comes served in a dessert size plate as an appetite opener. We don’t feed on salad and frankly if I wanted to chew on salad all day every day I’d be a fucking cow.

So my main will be: A veal escalope in a light lemon sauce (it’s really an Italian dish I love that is in every restaurant in Monaco) and it’s always the size of my hand. I am not a fucking accountant and I don’t bring a scale or calculate the gram amount of my protein either. I usually have it with a side of seasonal veggies. What veggies? The French don’t just pre-determine, because they will only serve you what is of the season, they don’t modify vegetables genetically to occur and grow during their off-season. So at the moment, it’s often cauliflower, peas (and yes we ain’t afraid of peas they aren’t your American sweet peas) and asparagus. They never serve just one veggie, because variety is KEY to rub your leptin (satiation hormone) the right way. If there is one or 2 potatoes luring around in that plate I will happily have it and I will not have any qualms about it. Whoever is scared of potatoes doesn’t know how to live the life of a normal human being.  

Dessert: I often skip it. Instead I will ask for an espresso Longo and add a dash of inulin to it, and have the one bite-sized dark Italian chocolate cube they serve it with to satisfy that sweet tooth.

♡ Snack

It is not unusual for me to not have a snack. SNACKING is very disruptive to a healthy appetite according to French culture. As a matter of fact, the snack “le gouter” is something typically reserved for children after school. The French (myself included) pride themselves on honoring the 3 meals of the day as very ceremonial, satisfying and sufficing events in the day.

If I ever get hungry, it is usual an indication that I did not have the right dietary intake of nutritious food that I should have had.

♡ Dinner

First of all, I cook at least 5 nights a week for my family. The table is set with china, pretty cutlery, candles and some light music in the background.

We have dinner around 8 pm, and we all sit together and start engaging with conversation before we even grab our forks and knives to eat.

A typical Thursday night dinner in my house will be:

Main Course: Veal Kefta Meatballs made with my Moroccan Spice “Simply The Best” Ras El Hanout. It contains 30 pungent spices, and spices are life when it comes to gut-health. It Improves the efficiency of your digestive system. Spices have been used throughout history as digestive stimulants. In recent times, studies have shown that many spices stimulate the liver, resulting in it secreting bile that has a higher percentage of bile acids. The result: it makes your food more satisfying, satiating, and most importantly so delicious with a prep time under 20 mins.

I serve them (everyone gets the amount that covers the size of their hands) with my String Beans á l’étouffée (it’s very important and so beneficial to cook the veggies for about 4 minutes covered – not boiled and not carbonized-sauteed either- to keep the vibrancy of the vegetables intact, as the visual and texture are 60% of the neuro-signals of satiation sent to your leptin hormone. While not overcooking vegetables also keeps the nutrients and notably the fiber intact.  

At dinner time, the salad is typically served after the main course, not before, to not ruin one’s appetite, and disrespect the cook by doing so. But most importantly because the French believe consuming the salad after the main facilitates digestion, and absorption of minerals in the salad. It is also said to aid sleep when consumed after the main course.

Salad: Lately we have been obsessed with Mache salad, with a light tahini, Argan Oil (from Morocco) and lemon dressing, with a handful of pine nuts. This insures a mandatory intake of fatty acids so crucial to hormonal balance, and natural weight control and weight-loss. I (like most French people) believe 2 tbs of cold-pressed 1st quality olive oil or Argan oil per day aids with gut-health and overall weight control. No French person ever got fat from the liters of olive oil they are known to consume weekly.

Dessert: In the evening I need dessert… that is usually when my sweet tooth rages so I satisfy it by taking my health in my own hands. Every few days I prepare what we have now renamed “sex-bombs” (one of my clients’ husband compared them to the climaxing effect of good sex) – They are a 10 min preparation Praline Buttercup-like small bite with tahini, potato starch, fiber syrup, praline chunks and Simply Inulin to UP the fiber and lower the net carbs, covered in Simply Inulin melted 70% dark chocolate. One suffices, as it is the exact amount of bites you need to apply my CHIC BITE RULE (3 bites: 1 to say BONJOUR, 2 to ENJOY it, 3 to say AU REVOIR )

FRIDAY 

♡ Breakfast

I will intermittent fast again, as I often have a morning work-out scheduled on Fridays (btw working out on an empty stomach is key to make sure I burn fat for fuel and dig into my reserves). So I’ll have my Simply Inulin Coffee.

♡ Lunch

Same set up and scenario as the day before—

Appetizer: I’ll have a French string bean salad with a light French vinaigrette dressing and tomato cubes.

I will probably skip the wine for lunch today- There is that French je ne said quoi about intuitive moderation.

Main Course: A filet of sol meunière (it’s a light French sauce with lemon and a dot of butter), served with seasonal veggies and a tiny bowl of potato purée or a bit of Ebly (buckwheat rice substitute often served in nice restaurants)

Dessert: Depending on how I feel I may have a café gourmand, which is an espresso served with the restaurant’s best desserts served in tiny bites. Chic Bite Rule makes it totally worth it and has no impact on the waistline.

♡ Dinner

Main Course: Strips of chicken, grilled shawarma style (with my Simply the Best Spice), with my homemade hummus (as a dip), and a side of my Mediterranean – Israeli salad (Tomatoes – I always remove the skin, cucumber, olives, red onions, lots of lemon juice and some olive oil, and mint ) – I may serve some french-fry like sweet potatoes grilled in the oven with a dash of olive oil and garlic powder (we usually have 2-3 pieces each to satisfy the itch).

Salad: My ASPARAGUS SEXY SALAD, with my French truffle vinaigrette, and seasoned with mixed seeds and herbs.

Dessert: I also always have some of my Simply Inulin Truffle balls dipped in matcha, pistachio or cocoa powder (prep is similar to the praline buttercups). 

SATURDAY

 Yay to the freaking week-end !

♡ Breakfast

I never ever intermittent fast on week-ends as breakfast is a privileged time with my kids, where we get to hang out in the kitchen and prepare fun food, and have a lengthy breakfast and chats.

I’ll make my Simply Inulin Pain Perdu aka French Toast Brioche (it’s gluten free, flour free and low carb and it’s a food with health benefits).

And I’ll have my Homemade Simply Kefir COCONUT lactose-free PROBIOTIC yogurt (which I prepare myself from our Simply Kefir Grains and ferment at home). It has 18 to 58 billion live probiotic populations, it’s amazing for the gut, and if the scientific saying that WEIGHT LOSS is in the gut is true, then this is definitely the secret weapon. It’s delicious, and because of its probiotic properties, it satiates me faster than a commercial yogurt.

I will often prepare some eggs on the side with Simply Inulin in them for added fiber. And have literally a bit of everything (the size of the palm of my hands)

Of course I will wash it all down with my Simply Inulin coffee because I crave it every morning from the second I wake up.

♡ Lunch 

Usually it will be a bit later, like 2pm. We will go to the sea port and have a salade niçoise (and no I wont remove the eggs), and share a bruschetta (it’s a sort of Italian bread with fresh tomatoes and melted mozzarella cheese). It’s the week-end; I have no problems consuming bread when I feel like it, especially when I have time to digest it, but it’s all in moderation so sharing is key.

I may have a frozen yogurt, or just skip dessert.

♡ Snack

NO SNACK AT ALL –But if it’s a rainy Saturday afternoon and I’m at home watching a movie, I’ll sit and meticulously pit some dates and fill them with a pecan nut and eat my little date/pecan sandwich (2-3 are more than enough and it’s healthy. Yes dates are healthy and so are pecans).

♡ Dinner

Usually on Saturday nights we go out to dinner. That means I will have access to some of my favorite foods.

Appetizer: I will have a shared plate of lobster pasta (and in the restaurant the pasta is fresh here in the south of France, which makes all the difference in digestion). We usually ask for 2 salad-sized plates and we share. It’s best as an appetizer, as it is a great way of not relying on a non-nutritious food to satiate my hunger. Instead I satisfy my craving and feel happy.

Main Course: (The Plat de Resistance)- The source of nutrition part of the meal and the most important.

I’ll have grilled Camerones (big shrimps) with garlic and parsley, served with petites legumes (young veggies, little peppers, little zucchini flowers) and a Sauce Diablo (which is a classic French compound sauce made from a demi-glacé flavored with shallots, white wine, vinegar, fine herbs, English dry mustard or French Dijon mustard, black pepper and cayenne pepper and garnished with parsley). 

♡ Dessert

I’ll have a French pastry (usually I share with Gil, and I’m completely satisfied following my CHIC BITE RULE), lemon meringue or a praline pastry called Paris-Brest. Unless we are at La Petite Maison in Nice (where we took Lauryn and Michael to lunch when they came to visit us), in which case I’ll share the white chocolate mousse and wild strawberries (if in season).

Now, it does seem like I do eat well right? And I don’t count calories… that’s because I’m completely unscathed at the thought of eating REAL FOOD. Sweet potatoes and olive oil don’t scare me. I view them as food with benefits and I eat them with intuitive moderation and without any guilt. Taking the stress out of eating real food, is the well-known French-nonchalance … aka low cortisol levels, aka better digestion and less inclination to create stressful hormonal issues that cause insulin resistance and midsection weight gain for the most disciplined dieter and salad-only eater.  

Taking your time to eat, minding your environment (noises, soothing lighting, pleasant company), paying attention to your posture, keeping forearms on the table, holding both fork and knife at all times during the process, and taking moments to enjoy the company and conversation with your table mates, can take inches of your waist. It’s a FACT otherwise known as the French paradox.

♡♡♡

Once again, THANK YOU Ingrid for coming on the blog!

If you guys want to know more about Ingrid you have to check out her episode on the Him & Her Podcast. She really gets into the nitty gritty of her life, & let me tell you, it’s TRÈS INTERÉSSANT. She talks prison, divorce, hardships, & how she came out on the other side.

If you want to read Ingrid’s other guests posts, I got you covered:

Check out all of Ingrid’s other posts on TSC:

♡ Wet & Dry Muscles

♡ 10 French Wellness Tips

♡ Skinny Rice, Fiber & Why Scales Lie

SHOP THE POST

Source: https://www.theskinnyconfidential.com/what-where-how-french-girls-eat/

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FRENCH GIRLS: WHAT, WHERE & HOW THEY EAT TO KEEP IT SLIM & TRIM

This post needs no introduction. You guy shave met Ingrid so many times, as you know our story. & if you don’t…

I found her on a friend of a friend of a cousin’s sister’s page or something when I was deep in an Instagram stalk like 4 years ago. I liked her feed immediately ( if you want to see, go DEEP into her Instagram ). She was super open with sharing recipes, skinny hacks, & diet tips. As Ingrid would say, she “wasn’t stingy” with her tips. I liked the vibe.

So I followed her on Instagram, silently watching her skinny recipes from afar for years.

HERE’S HOW CRAZY LIFE IS GUYS: I was in Monaco AND SAW HER AT THE HOTEL WE WERE HAVING LUNCH AT. I whispered to Michael that “THAT was THAT girl I followed on Instagram!” Michael looked at me like I was fucking crazy. But first things first, I had to see what she was eating…from a distance. LIKE MOVE MICHAEL- YOU’RE BLOCKING MY VIEW. Creepy? Come on, we’ve all been there. I wanted to see the whole thing. Like what was she eating to get those abs? Was she having protein? What kind?

Anyway, I wanted to see her in action- I love her philosophy of substituting & modifying foods. It’s something I’ve been about FOREVER. Her lifestyle is just inspiring.

But back to what she was eating.

You can bet your ass it was greens to start, some protein, fiber, & a glass of wine!

I didn’t say hi because I didn’t want to interrupt ( wait, let’s be honest here. What would I say? Hi, I’m Lauryn & I have followed you online all the way from California for the last few years…& eer, I happened to run into you in France? Oh, and can you cook me your skinny Spanish rice? I’m available for dinner ). So I didn’t say hi.

But I did DM her on IG. & we became friends. Now I train with her & do THE METHOD®, cook her recipes, & we met with our husbands in Monaco & Morocco. She’s become such a good friend & is constantly providing so much value on her channels which we love.

I’ve been so impressed with how she has taken an idea then launched her Simply Gangster Chic inulin, adjusted it from consumer feedback, & brought in other products. Products like her rose oil, amber rocks, & cookbook.

I cook with inulin all the time. In fact, yesterday I made skinny pancakes with it & it creates this thick consistency, almost like you’re cooking with flour, but it’s actually artichoke fiber so it makes your gut feel great.

If you don’t know what inulin is you have to check it out.

“Inulin is a nutrient which cannot be digested or absorbed in the body, meaning it is classed as a fibre. It is also one of the best known sources, as it boasts almost 90g of fibre per 100g! Inulin can also be obtained through foods such as asparagus, onions, garlic, artichokes, chicoree root, acacia and sweet potatoes. This vegan-friendly nutrient has received masses of attention recently from both the scientific community and media outlets due to its versatility, qualities. It has gained so much recognizance from doctors & health practitioners, such as Dr. Stephen Gundry, Dr. Axe , Dr. Hyman and many more.” source

You guys know I put this in my coffee every day. If you want to know more about it stalk the morning ritual here.

With out further ado, welcome back Ingrid de la Mare Kenny, the badass behind Simply Gangster Chic & THE METHOD®. In this post you can expect Ingrid’s tips on mindful indulgences, how to chill at lunch like a chic French girl, & how to add inulin into your life.

♡♡♡

So, I am part French, but when it comes to eating I’m 100% French for sure, and that’s by choice. Why? Because when I moved from NYC to Monaco, I realized these French people have their shit together, and by their shit I mean they have figured out that CORTISOL levels are everything, especially when it comes to keeping it low while consuming their 3 meals a day. And so, it’s as much what they eat as how they eat that makes the French waistline enviable to fast-paced, diet conscious Americans.

Here is a break-down of what 3 days of eating is like for oh so French moi! I purposely chose Thursday, Friday and Saturday, to help make the distinction between week-days (workdays) and week-ends.

THURSDAY 

I start my day with an early workout with my client Ella, so that’s the perfect day to elect as an Intermittent Fast 8pm-1pm (16 hours) — you can read how I intermittent fast right here on TSC.

I prepare my Simply Inulin Metabolic Boosting Coffee (Here is a video of how to prepare it)– Having simply inulin coffee doesn’t break your fast if you make sure that your plant-based milk is free of gums and only contains 3 ingredients: nuts, water & salt — it’s really important, to realize that plant-based milk can and will not only disrupt your fast with obscure ingredients like xantham gum or lecithin (a chemical word for modified soy), but it will also most probably cause gut inflammation.  

I will slowly sip on my coffee, pre-workout and possibly finish it or have another post-workout.

But what happens if I wake up hungry?  Surprise, surprise! I EAT, I am French so whatever my ghrelin hormone wants I am going to give to her. Why? Because your ghrelin hormone needs to be satisfied, short of doing so you will raise your cortisol levels and cause insulin resistance (aka Stubborn Fat Deposits in and around the midsection). But enough with the science.

I will attempt to satisfy my hunger first with a bowl of berries (they are high in fiber and very satiating) and often that will do the trick. If it doesn’t work I will have my French Chocolate Chip Cookies made with tahini & Simply Inulin (ps: Dr. Gundry said that inulin is the solution to avoid weight gain, terrible digestion and prevents the bad bacteria from taking over your waistline). It’s rich in fatty acids which balances the hormones, high in fiber with the inulin (and that cancels out some of the carbs too) and it’s a gut health aid because it contains potato starch (instead of flour). Potato starch is a resistant starch that arrives in the colon intact, good bacteria feeds on it, producing beneficial short-chain fatty acids. Resistant starch carries many benefits: it strengthens the gut, burns fat, and protects against colon cancer, diabetes, and heart disease. 

Anyway… keep in mind I’m having a simple cookie today because it was meant to be an intermittent fasting day and I got hungry. The cookie for sure will keep me going until lunch at 1 pm.

♡ 1pm – Lunch

Where? Away from my desk and from my work place. Usually a pleasant (outdoorsy if weather permits) setting and during the work-week a less noisy environment.

How Long? In France, lunch breaks can last up to 2 hours. My lunch is usually 1h or 1h 15 mins and that is non-negotiable. I purposely do not schedule any appointments or meetings during my lunch window (it’s not difficult to do so because everything is closed, except restaurants and everyone is sitting  having lunch).

How? Never ever on the go. Never ever in plastic bowls, plates or utensils. No such thing as walking and eating at the same time in France. And no such thing as eating out of plastic. If I take-away, I will transfer my food to a china plate. NON-NEGOTIABLE (definitely avoiding endocrine-disrupters).

What? Unlike Americans (according to an array of French waiters in Paris and the South of France) who are indecisive about what to eat, and will study the menu from top to bottom for a while, and debate on what to eat, I, as the very French person that I am, know exactly what I like to eat, and what I need to be eating. It will catch my eye immediately on the menu.

Starter – L’entrée: I start with an artichoke salad, with arugula and shaved parmesan. And I will have 2 bites of the bread soaked in olive oil while I wait for my order.

If I am not working out that afternoon with a client and I’m just going to the office or meetings, I’ll have a glass of white wine. A glass of white wine halfway filled is not going to get me buzzed.  

Main Course – Le Plat de Resistance: What more food? Yes! Salad is not a meal in France. And it often comes served in a dessert size plate as an appetite opener. We don’t feed on salad and frankly if I wanted to chew on salad all day every day I’d be a fucking cow.

So my main will be: A veal escalope in a light lemon sauce (it’s really an Italian dish I love that is in every restaurant in Monaco) and it’s always the size of my hand. I am not a fucking accountant and I don’t bring a scale or calculate the gram amount of my protein either. I usually have it with a side of seasonal veggies. What veggies? The French don’t just pre-determine, because they will only serve you what is of the season, they don’t modify vegetables genetically to occur and grow during their off-season. So at the moment, it’s often cauliflower, peas (and yes we ain’t afraid of peas they aren’t your American sweet peas) and asparagus. They never serve just one veggie, because variety is KEY to rub your leptin (satiation hormone) the right way. If there is one or 2 potatoes luring around in that plate I will happily have it and I will not have any qualms about it. Whoever is scared of potatoes doesn’t know how to live the life of a normal human being.  

Dessert: I often skip it. Instead I will ask for an espresso Longo and add a dash of inulin to it, and have the one bite-sized dark Italian chocolate cube they serve it with to satisfy that sweet tooth.

♡ Snack

It is not unusual for me to not have a snack. SNACKING is very disruptive to a healthy appetite according to French culture. As a matter of fact, the snack “le gouter” is something typically reserved for children after school. The French (myself included) pride themselves on honoring the 3 meals of the day as very ceremonial, satisfying and sufficing events in the day.

If I ever get hungry, it is usual an indication that I did not have the right dietary intake of nutritious food that I should have had.

♡ Dinner

First of all, I cook at least 5 nights a week for my family. The table is set with china, pretty cutlery, candles and some light music in the background.

We have dinner around 8 pm, and we all sit together and start engaging with conversation before we even grab our forks and knives to eat.

A typical Thursday night dinner in my house will be:

Main Course: Veal Kefta Meatballs made with my Moroccan Spice “Simply The Best” Ras El Hanout. It contains 30 pungent spices, and spices are life when it comes to gut-health. It Improves the efficiency of your digestive system. Spices have been used throughout history as digestive stimulants. In recent times, studies have shown that many spices stimulate the liver, resulting in it secreting bile that has a higher percentage of bile acids. The result: it makes your food more satisfying, satiating, and most importantly so delicious with a prep time under 20 mins.

I serve them (everyone gets the amount that covers the size of their hands) with my String Beans á l’étouffée (it’s very important and so beneficial to cook the veggies for about 4 minutes covered – not boiled and not carbonized-sauteed either- to keep the vibrancy of the vegetables intact, as the visual and texture are 60% of the neuro-signals of satiation sent to your leptin hormone. While not overcooking vegetables also keeps the nutrients and notably the fiber intact.  

At dinner time, the salad is typically served after the main course, not before, to not ruin one’s appetite, and disrespect the cook by doing so. But most importantly because the French believe consuming the salad after the main facilitates digestion, and absorption of minerals in the salad. It is also said to aid sleep when consumed after the main course.

Salad: Lately we have been obsessed with Mache salad, with a light tahini, Argan Oil (from Morocco) and lemon dressing, with a handful of pine nuts. This insures a mandatory intake of fatty acids so crucial to hormonal balance, and natural weight control and weight-loss. I (like most French people) believe 2 tbs of cold-pressed 1st quality olive oil or Argan oil per day aids with gut-health and overall weight control. No French person ever got fat from the liters of olive oil they are known to consume weekly.

Dessert: In the evening I need dessert… that is usually when my sweet tooth rages so I satisfy it by taking my health in my own hands. Every few days I prepare what we have now renamed “sex-bombs” (one of my clients’ husband compared them to the climaxing effect of good sex) – They are a 10 min preparation Praline Buttercup-like small bite with tahini, potato starch, fiber syrup, praline chunks and Simply Inulin to UP the fiber and lower the net carbs, covered in Simply Inulin melted 70% dark chocolate. One suffices, as it is the exact amount of bites you need to apply my CHIC BITE RULE (3 bites: 1 to say BONJOUR, 2 to ENJOY it, 3 to say AU REVOIR )

FRIDAY 

♡ Breakfast

I will intermittent fast again, as I often have a morning work-out scheduled on Fridays (btw working out on an empty stomach is key to make sure I burn fat for fuel and dig into my reserves). So I’ll have my Simply Inulin Coffee.

♡ Lunch

Same set up and scenario as the day before—

Appetizer: I’ll have a French string bean salad with a light French vinaigrette dressing and tomato cubes.

I will probably skip the wine for lunch today- There is that French je ne said quoi about intuitive moderation.

Main Course: A filet of sol meunière (it’s a light French sauce with lemon and a dot of butter), served with seasonal veggies and a tiny bowl of potato purée or a bit of Ebly (buckwheat rice substitute often served in nice restaurants)

Dessert: Depending on how I feel I may have a café gourmand, which is an espresso served with the restaurant’s best desserts served in tiny bites. Chic Bite Rule makes it totally worth it and has no impact on the waistline.

♡ Dinner

Main Course: Strips of chicken, grilled shawarma style (with my Simply the Best Spice), with my homemade hummus (as a dip), and a side of my Mediterranean – Israeli salad (Tomatoes – I always remove the skin, cucumber, olives, red onions, lots of lemon juice and some olive oil, and mint ) – I may serve some french-fry like sweet potatoes grilled in the oven with a dash of olive oil and garlic powder (we usually have 2-3 pieces each to satisfy the itch).

Salad: My ASPARAGUS SEXY SALAD, with my French truffle vinaigrette, and seasoned with mixed seeds and herbs.

Dessert: I also always have some of my Simply Inulin Truffle balls dipped in matcha, pistachio or cocoa powder (prep is similar to the praline buttercups). 

SATURDAY

 Yay to the freaking week-end !

♡ Breakfast

I never ever intermittent fast on week-ends as breakfast is a privileged time with my kids, where we get to hang out in the kitchen and prepare fun food, and have a lengthy breakfast and chats.

I’ll make my Simply Inulin Pain Perdu aka French Toast Brioche (it’s gluten free, flour free and low carb and it’s a food with health benefits).

And I’ll have my Homemade Simply Kefir COCONUT lactose-free PROBIOTIC yogurt (which I prepare myself from our Simply Kefir Grains and ferment at home). It has 18 to 58 billion live probiotic populations, it’s amazing for the gut, and if the scientific saying that WEIGHT LOSS is in the gut is true, then this is definitely the secret weapon. It’s delicious, and because of its probiotic properties, it satiates me faster than a commercial yogurt.

I will often prepare some eggs on the side with Simply Inulin in them for added fiber. And have literally a bit of everything (the size of the palm of my hands)

Of course I will wash it all down with my Simply Inulin coffee because I crave it every morning from the second I wake up.

♡ Lunch 

Usually it will be a bit later, like 2pm. We will go to the sea port and have a salade niçoise (and no I wont remove the eggs), and share a bruschetta (it’s a sort of Italian bread with fresh tomatoes and melted mozzarella cheese). It’s the week-end; I have no problems consuming bread when I feel like it, especially when I have time to digest it, but it’s all in moderation so sharing is key.

I may have a frozen yogurt, or just skip dessert.

♡ Snack

NO SNACK AT ALL –But if it’s a rainy Saturday afternoon and I’m at home watching a movie, I’ll sit and meticulously pit some dates and fill them with a pecan nut and eat my little date/pecan sandwich (2-3 are more than enough and it’s healthy. Yes dates are healthy and so are pecans).

♡ Dinner

Usually on Saturday nights we go out to dinner. That means I will have access to some of my favorite foods.

Appetizer: I will have a shared plate of lobster pasta (and in the restaurant the pasta is fresh here in the south of France, which makes all the difference in digestion). We usually ask for 2 salad-sized plates and we share. It’s best as an appetizer, as it is a great way of not relying on a non-nutritious food to satiate my hunger. Instead I satisfy my craving and feel happy.

Main Course: (The Plat de Resistance)- The source of nutrition part of the meal and the most important.

I’ll have grilled Camerones (big shrimps) with garlic and parsley, served with petites legumes (young veggies, little peppers, little zucchini flowers) and a Sauce Diablo (which is a classic French compound sauce made from a demi-glacé flavored with shallots, white wine, vinegar, fine herbs, English dry mustard or French Dijon mustard, black pepper and cayenne pepper and garnished with parsley). 

♡ Dessert

I’ll have a French pastry (usually I share with Gil, and I’m completely satisfied following my CHIC BITE RULE), lemon meringue or a praline pastry called Paris-Brest. Unless we are at La Petite Maison in Nice (where we took Lauryn and Michael to lunch when they came to visit us), in which case I’ll share the white chocolate mousse and wild strawberries (if in season).

Now, it does seem like I do eat well right? And I don’t count calories… that’s because I’m completely unscathed at the thought of eating REAL FOOD. Sweet potatoes and olive oil don’t scare me. I view them as food with benefits and I eat them with intuitive moderation and without any guilt. Taking the stress out of eating real food, is the well-known French-nonchalance … aka low cortisol levels, aka better digestion and less inclination to create stressful hormonal issues that cause insulin resistance and midsection weight gain for the most disciplined dieter and salad-only eater.  

Taking your time to eat, minding your environment (noises, soothing lighting, pleasant company), paying attention to your posture, keeping forearms on the table, holding both fork and knife at all times during the process, and taking moments to enjoy the company and conversation with your table mates, can take inches of your waist. It’s a FACT otherwise known as the French paradox.

♡♡♡

Once again, THANK YOU Ingrid for coming on the blog!

If you guys want to know more about Ingrid you have to check out her episode on the Him & Her Podcast. She really gets into the nitty gritty of her life, & let me tell you, it’s TRÈS INTERÉSSANT. She talks prison, divorce, hardships, & how she came out on the other side.

If you want to read Ingrid’s other guests posts, I got you covered:

Check out all of Ingrid’s other posts on TSC:

♡ Wet & Dry Muscles

♡ 10 French Wellness Tips

♡ Skinny Rice, Fiber & Why Scales Lie

SHOP THE POST

Source: https://www.theskinnyconfidential.com/what-where-how-french-girls-eat/

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Couple Quotes : What does Authenticity mean to you? The many people who suffer from Comparisonit…

Couple Quotes :

What does Authenticity mean to you? The many people who suffer from Comparisonitis Envy Jealousy or even the bizarre self-plagiarism are all undergoing lessons of what it means to be an authentic individual. We have all done it at some point or another copying others styles looks design writing fashion or even Spirituality. This is all about how to be authentically you and the ways we can start embodying our natural colorful spirit! Click to Read More theawakenedstate…. How to Start Embodying Your Natural Colorful Authentic Self What does Authenticity mean to you? The many people who suffer from Comparisonitis Envy Jealousy or even the bizarre self-plagiarism are all undergoing lessons of what it means to be an authentic individual. We have all done it at some point or another copying others styles looks design writing fashion or even Spirituality. We find ourselves possessing an unconscious desire to be like them instead of learning to be ourselves. A lot of what we embraced growing up was produced from idol worship that ironically shaped who we became today such as idolizing a favorite musician celebrity fictional character author or even a family member. The idea is created through our identity where we begin building our personality through other identities such as family friends and idols. However there comes a point where you no longer desire to compare yourself envy others or even plagiarize your Past self. We no longer desire to be our favorite musician or celebrity we begin creating our own vision of ourselves. Our true identity personality and creating the pathway of truth towards our connection with our natural self. This connection is essential towards being authentic towards your spiritual self. However there becomes a point where you find yourself being triggered by these experiences even as a spiritual being. This is usually because there are numerous resources articles fear tactics new age propaganda and you name it there is always something else trying to get you to believe a certain way and embody a particular lifestyle choice. The food you eat the thoughts you think the clothes you wear detoxing the whole shabang. This reasoning can be inspiring in some regard but it also can create a disconnection between our true identity. We put this idea of spirituality as a light being on a pedestal instead of realizing we are both light and dark. We are negative and positive. We are the plethora of emotions. Dont hold yourself back. Its about seeing The real. Vulnerable. Raw Emotional. Beauty of Simplistic life. THE DISCONNECTED SELF While Dissociation is quite common on the Awakening path there is also the point where we feel disconnected with our natural identity. When we are disconnected from our true spirit we are unfocused indecisive and most of all disconnected from our source energy. You will feel yourself disconnected when you begin experiencing a catalyst of building friction in your reality. The more friction that builds youre starting to dismantle layers of yourself through the past. Disconnection from Source = Pure Chaos in your reality Connection to Source = Direction and Focused design in your reality. In reality when we are disconnected were able to step back and view ourselves from multiple dimensions of thought. This allows us to start letting go of the Past and provides tremendous healing. Sometimes this MUST happen for the soul to move forward we have to go backwards time travel and heal these buried wounds to move onward. Although at some point the chaos reaches a peak where you have a moment of transcendence. You begin letting go of the disconnection and you begin seeing through the illusion of separation we created. This is beginning of authenticity building and discovering the natural identity of the soul. HOW TO BE AUTHENTICALLY YOU icon-bolt Stop Comparing Yourself to Others Do you suffer from comparsionitis? In a world of glitz glam movies and this idea of perfection its easy to fall into this trap. When we compare ourselves were unconsciously forgetting who we truly are inside. Its a slam to the heart. Its also a wakeup call towards healing the heart and self-love. If you suffer from comparsionitis: Dont beat yourself up realize youre building and finding your true voice. Let Go of comparing remove your obsessions and find yourself within just as beautiful as them. icon-eye-slash Remove Envy and Jealousy When were envious and jealous of someone were not realizing and seeing our love for ourselves. Envy can become dangerous especially in the manifesting world because when youre envious youre allowing your ideas to be separated from YOU. Youre removing yourself from you because you wish to be them. In this crazy world of social media and filters we dont see the behind the scenes everyone has a story to tell. I remember there was this time I was resentful of one of my friends thinking she had it all while I was a struggling poor ex-college student. However the more I looked into her world her relationships were full of fighting she starved herself to be thin constantly escaped had issues with her childhood wounds and the list went on. She was far from perfect but I was envious of the illusion I saw. We live in a world filed with seeing the surface but not the behind the scenes realities. When were able to remove our envy and jealousy you will see this was only an illusion you created. If you fall into this trap: Work on the heart center through forgiveness and building self-love. Begin to let go of your illusions of separation from yourself. icon-heart Dont Fucking Censor Yourself I read this hilarious article recently by an interesting fellow Zach Herbert called Spiritual People Dont say Fuck. The idea here that he states is its easy to pretend and be the definition of Spiritual. However realize by putting yourself in this bubble youre not being you anymore youre pretending to be you. Instead the most scary and liberating person we can truly be is ourselves uncensored raw and real. Youre going to offend people but theyre offended because youre being the real you and that is one of the most liberating feelings you will ever experience. In the words of Zach Herbert Fuck spiritual. Be you icon-lightbulb-o Get out of the Idea of Proving Yourself To People Every once in awhile Ill get hate mail to my Tumblr I used to respond in vigor disgust or even pure arrogance about trying to prove how spiritual I am. Its the fiery redhead in me. Now a-days I realize what a WASTE OF TIME this is because youre trying to prove what youve experienced versus what theyve experienced. Its like arguing with a wall. You can explain all you want but until they experience it themselves they wont respond in comparison they will respond towards their subjective experiences. Truth is ambiguous to the subjective experience. There is nothing to prove because your experiences are yours alone and that is absolutely beautiful because they shaped who you are. You dont need to prove them to anyone. This is your truth. icon-smile-o Find Your Voice & Express Your Colorful Soul A huge part of the reason that we fall into these traps is were afraid and hiding who we truly are behind someone elses voice. If you find yourself in one of these realize you are stuck in self-sabotage because youre not being true to yourself. Learn to find you. Youre in there. The more we compare contrast and keep nitpicking were not being ourselves anymore. Express your colorful self! Learn to find yourself through the noise the bullshit and the extraordinary but do it for yourself. No one else. Do it to empower yourself and your natural authentic voice. Its all within we just need to see it. icon-star Believe in You Believe in Your Universe You kick ass! Yes you. Dear God/ Goddess within you you are creating amazing ripples out there just by being alive. Dont you ever forget that. Honor yourself Honor your universe. Begin believing in yourself because this is where the miracles start happening when were ready to connect ourselves back to our natural self. Our divine connection with who we truly are inside. Everyone is here to create their destiny you can either keep comparing yourself to their destiny or you can start learning to create your own unique journey of authenticity. THE BEAUTY OF AHIMSA We all have Negative Emotions. However we have to look into how we feel about ourselves having negative emotions. Most of us are left guilty shamed belittled feeling terrible that we stepping out of our shining bubble and experienced a disheartening emotion. An ugly emotion. we stepped into the shadow and now feel we have to punish ourselves. In this way we fool ourselves and become disconnected from the natural identity. When were able to embrace the beauty of simplicity in our everyday lives we also need to see our authentic raw emotional identity. This is triggered from the fact that many Spiritual figures and idols have a perfect image of how we PROJECT and view spirituality. As if these holier-than-thou people have never had a negative emotion in their life which is a very ludicrous way to look at spirituality. Life is a series of ebb and flow there is going to be negative emotion as much as there is going to be positive emotion. WHAT IS AHIMSA? However we also need to learn ahimsa which means non-violence towards ourselves verbally mentally spiritually and emotionally. Ahimsa means it is okay if you have negative emotions but you need to accept them and be gentle to yourself in the process. No spiritual person is perfect yet many of these people often portray themselves that way as if we are not human capable of emotions. So while many of us are enlightened or self-realized we also need to remember we are human. Sorry to break it to you but you are both positive & negative light & dark ego & soul. Im willing to bet SOMEONE at some point in time has pissed you off broke your heart or you made it your prerogative to fix them/save the world. We all have raw emotions and THAT my friends is the beauty of being alive. We should never put anyone on a pedestal including ourselves! Its important to see we all have both good and bad days but that is what molds who we are. This is you being real to yourself and processing that emotion into your experience. No one is perfect but we are all imperfectly perfect as we are in the present moment. Find your authentic self. Accept that negative emotions happen. It does not mean you need to beat yourself up about it. You are not suddenly switched off from awakening you arent off the spiritual path. We are always on the spiritual path. Life is going to throw challenges and obstacles your way that is naturally a part of the flow but when we resent these emotions when we feel guilt ashamed angry or sadness from them we arent accepting the challenges as part of us. This mental and emotional breakdowns are your personal breakthroughs. This is especially important towards acknowledging the Ego as a teacher rather than a slave to us. The Ego is a catalyst. The lesson is are you going to impulsively react on that emotion or are you going to consciously observe it? You may have a bad day but it is okay! You may hate life you may think youre nothing you may think youre alone lonely that the ascension symptoms are tearing you apart youre low vibrations one minute then flying high the next. But dont suddenly say that youre not on the spiritual path or youre not being true to yourself in that moment which makes you a bad person. I think this type of thinking is underlining self-sabotage and the sad part it is soooo common in the new age community. hes too full of ego I see more than I like It is okay to be darkness It is okay to be the light It is okay to feel the rawness of living. Accept it be gentle to yourself but most importantly Stay Authentically You. Process those emotions. Observe Accept Let Go. This is your reminder from the Universe: Accept being all facets of you because crystals arent created by magic there is hardness and there is softness Respect and Accept the Balance Always icon-heart

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