#but anyone who says “you need xyz to shift” is automatically wrong

[demigodofhoolemere]

Being LDS on this website that’s obsessed with finding fault in different groups of people means you’re subjected — semi-frequently, at complete random, and by random blogs so you can’t follow a pattern back to one person to unfollow — to posts that are like

“Mormonism is a cult because-" *insert a) something the church doesn’t teach, b) a claim about how the church is controlling and forces its members to do things they don’t make you do, like cut off contact with nonmembers or something similarly crazy, or c) completely innocuous thing that’s completely normal for any religion to ask of its adherents*

“Mormons are crazy because-" *insert a) something that has literally never been taught as doctrine ever that was either made up about us or spread by weird members in the past who didn’t know what they were talking about and people held onto that instead of listening to corrections regarding it, or b) something taken wildly out of context or worded in a way to purposefully make it sound nuts and which makes way more sense if you’d actually bother to listen to someone try to explain it*

“Exmo here, yeah the church is horrible because-" *insert a) personal experience with individuals doing xyz that is certainly unfortunate but has nothing to do with the church as a whole or its doctrine, or b) wild claims that you KNOW this person is lying about because you literally grew up in the same faith as they did and were taught the same things and you know they’re spouting some serious garbage about what we supposedly believe but of course everyone is going to trust the person who talks like a cult survivor so there’s nothing you can do about it*

And you sit there having to either ignore it (DIFFICULT) or find the courage to message the person who reblogged it to gently explain why the post is wrong (does not go well half the time).

No, the church does not fit the BITE model for a cult (literally the only few parts of the list you could say it matches are the few that are true of literally any religion and do not scream ‘cult’). No, you do not need a lawyer to get your records removed, anyone offering those services is scamming you for money because you can literally just ask your local leaders to have it done. No, we do not genuinely believe that insane Bigfoot Cain folk story or anything else like it. And frankly, sometimes people who leave just lie. That happens. It does not make me brainwashed to say that someone who left the church and is spreading obvious crap about things we don’t really teach or believe is indeed lying and it’s frustrating to no end that the automatic reaction from so many people is that you must be the crazy one, meanwhile you’re sitting there being gaslit about your own beliefs as they go ‘Mormons teach/believe xyz’ ‘no we don’t’ ‘yes you do’ ‘we literally don’t though’ ‘shut up you’re just brainwashed’ ‘????’. Have you ever seen a divorced person spread bad rumors about their ex that are not true? Yeah.

(And before anyone goes, ‘Hey, she’s trying to invalidate the stories of people who left, that’s clearly a cultist!’, I’m referring strictly to people who make false claims about what we teach that can be easily verified as false. There are bitter people out there who do that. I’m all for listening to people who have had bad experiences with other members in the church, absolutely nothing but sympathy and love towards those who have genuinely been hurt in one way or another, and yes there are cultural things especially in Utah that have needed or still do need shifting. But as always, the same is true of literally any religion or just any group of human beings in general because a lot of the time human beings kind of suck. The church isn’t special for this. It’s just as filled with flawed people who need to repent as any other group of people on the planet and that’s no secret. There’s a reason we’re always encouraged by our leaders to continue to become better and to try to be more Christlike than we often are, and the vast majority of members are absolutely trying to live by that and it’s not fair to judge those millions of people by the ones who don’t behave as they should. You can believe the stories of people who have had bad experiences without making out 16 million other people to be horrible. Everything would be a cult if the qualification for that was to have some bad apples in your midst.)

It doesn’t take much to look at different sources to see if there’s another side to a story or another explanation for something that sounds weird. You don’t even have to look through church websites for it, you can literally just ask members if you know any. In fact PLEASE just ask us because I lose my mind a little more every time I see someone just looking at sources that are total confirmation biases against us. Ask faithful, practicing members if they’re really forced to do xyz or ask them to explain something weird you heard. We’re not exactly secretive or shy about explaining our beliefs (hence the missionaries lol), we’ll do it. Heck, I’ve got anxiety through the roof about answering questions because I’m scared I’ll word something poorly but even I will still do it, I’d rather face my fears and respond imperfectly than let someone go around thinking something that’s not true. As long as you’re asking genuinely out of curiosity to hear our perspective and not trying to just poke at our faith and be a jerk, you’ll get people who are willing to answer you and have a reasonable discussion without trying to convert you or something.

Aaaanyway. If you couldn’t tell, I’ve now seen two different posts from two different people today being negative about my faith, so. I’m tired. If you’re so inclined please pray for my ability to feel close to Christ, have love for people I disagree with, and be patient with nonsense lol. Goodness knows I need help with that sometimes. Especially right now since I apparently had enough frustration in me to write this whole thing lol.

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

Hello! I just found your yt channel (it's amazing) and watched your video on writing diversely. What an awesome video, I learnt and took away a lot from you and your thoughts, especially as a white writer. I am still however a little conflicted on one thing. Not just writing the characters as another race or gender or identity of any kind from the writer, but the actual main character. Would it automatically be offensive and destined for failure for a white author to write a black main protag?

Hi there! I’m happy you found the video helpful, thank you for watching! This is a link to the video if anyone reading this has not watched it.

To be honest, I think I explained this as concisely and accurately as I could in the video as it’s truly the thesis of the video itself. I don’t want to fully reiterate what I said in the video because I feel like I won’t be as accurate/coherent, so I urge you to rewatch the video and take care to look at the timestamps as that may clarify your particular question, first and foremost! Taking a look at some of the comments too might also be helpful.

Stay in your lane as a detrimental, albeit well-intentioned, mantra

As I say in the video, it’s not as easy as saying “white people can’t write XYZ main character” or “we can write whatever we want”, nor is it as easy as and saying “stay in your line” , which may inadvertently enforce the majority as publishing is majorly white (stats are in the video). I believe I did address main characters too in that video, but whatever I said about characters in general 100% applies to POV/main characters as I was rebutting the well-intentioned, but perhaps detrimental idea that it’s only appropriate for a marginalized POV character to be written by someone marginalized in the same way (IMO, long-term, this will cause an influx of white POV stories which is the opposite of the intention [people say “stay in your lane” will allow marginalized folks to represent themselves rather than have white people represent us] as the publishing industry a) is mostly white and b) only seems to care to actively publish white people. “Stay in your lane” may also inadvertently define the role a marginalized person should play in the writing industry [responsible for writing stories about their marginalization]).

Writing POC main characters = automatically offensive/destined to fail?

If you’re viewing or questioning if writing a POC MC is “automatically offensive” or “destined for failure” I really urge you to rewatch the video because this is covered quite extensively but particularly take a look at the “trade fear for empathy” section as this question in itself is laden in a black and white binary of right versus wrong. If you’re asking this question, it might be that you are lacking the empathy to understand what I’m saying in the video (which is okay! there are many others who I’ve further discussed with in the comments). Writing POC isn’t something that’s destined to fail just because you’re a white author IF you do your research, be respectful, write empathetically and craft well-rounded, complex people. If you’re thinking you might automatically fail in this department because you are a white person, I did mention in the video that you may not be ready to write diverse characters in the respectful, robust ways necessary because you may be viewing POC as a “pass or fail” system which is obviously not what we are. If you want to write a diverse POV character and you do your research, write empathetically, speak to those people from that community (with their consent) and be willing to adjust your representation with that feedback without getting defensive, I don’t see how this would be automatically offensive or destined for failure, just like anything else that requires research.

Disproportionate amounts of white versus POC writers being published

In terms of publication failure, white people are actually the ones being majorly represented to write marginalized stories (when they don’t share that marginalization), so you probably wouldn’t have a problem getting a POC-lead story published (not saying I think this is right) because publishers treat diversity as a quota/marketing tactic and IMO, don’t seem to actually care about representation on a structural level, but rather on a topical, superficial level (which is why my main point in that video is that publishers, not individual writers, need to be held accountable).

White writers accidentally “dehumanize” POC in a misguided attempt at being empathetic

I think some white people, (and I don’t exactly want to use this word because it is quite severe but illustrates what I mean) may accidentally “dehumanize” people of colour in worrying that whatever move they’re going to make is automatically going to offend us, when in reality, if you take the time, and put in the effort to research and get to know people of colour (from my comments, these worries often stem from white people who don’t know many people of colour IRL), you will see that yes, we are different from you and difference is good, but no, this difference does not make us an untouchable, unknowable species. I don’t mean to make this seem like an “I don’t see colour” or “the only race is the human race” argument, which would be harmful, but rather a reminder that people of colour are also human beings and as you would write a white character with empathy, integrity, and vigour, you should also do the same when writing characters of colour (I address this in more detail in the video).

Doing personal research in times of confusion

I understand that as a white person, thinking about and understanding these issues may not be particularly easy, and even after a nearly hour long video of me expressing these thoughts, I genuinely do understand why someone who is not affected by these issues daily may still struggle with grasping these concepts. That’s because anti-racism is not something you can accomplish by watching one video, or reading a few articles--it’s a lifelong commitment, and so that’s when you would take your privilege as a white person to do more digging before you ask questions to those who have to expel emotional labour to answer them for you (not saying I have any problem answering your question at all, but putting this out there because there are many well meaning white people who I’ve encountered in my comments that do ask me or other BIPOC questions before turning to other resources that wouldn’t require free labour). Take some time to ruminate with this info, and then do some digging of your own. If you haven’t checked out these, these are my favourite anti-racism resources, all of which are free to access (noted otherwise):

Jane Coaston - The Intersectionality wars

A pretty comprehensive place to start with Kimberle Crenshaw’s theory of Intersectionality

Peggy McIntosh - White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack

Wonderful place to start in understanding white privilege for those who don’t understand the differences/nuances between race VS class VS gender privilege etc

Article that explores white privilege beyond McIntosh’s ideas

It’s really important that white people also learn the systemic ways in which they benefit from white privilege and not just the “bandaids are made in my skintone” examples (though those examples are often used first because they’re the easiest to understand for a white person who is affected by other intersections, i.e. class, sexuality, gender, who does not feel they are privileged in other ways i.e. race).

Documentary on white privilege (Jane Elliott’s Brown Eyes VS Blue Eyes experiment)

Angela Davis - How Does Change Happen?

bell hooks - Ending Domination: The Struggle Continues

Abena Busia - In Search of Chains Without Iron: On Sisterhood, History, and the Politics of Location

I was able to access this reading through my university but IMO it is a must-read, especially for non-POC who may not fully understand the privilege of whiteness.

Claire Heuchan - Your Silence Will Not Protect You: Racism in the Feminist Movement 

**Absolute must-read: “The theory did not emerge in order to aid white women in their search for cookies – it was developed predominantly by Black feminists with a view to giving women of colour voice (Heuchan).”

Tamela J. Gordon - Why I’m giving up on intersectional feminism 

Powerful perspective on Intersectionality and how it’s been used in white feminism

Jennifer L. Pozner - How to Talk About Racism, Sexism and Bigotry With Your Friends and Family

Really good place to start if you have loved ones in need of education.

Maria Lugones - Playfulness, “World”-Travelling, and Loving Perception

This is the absolute crux of my points in writing empathetically.

"The paper describes the experience of 'outsiders' to the mainstream of, for example, White/Anglo organization of life in the U.S. and stresses a particular feature of the outsider's existence: the outsider has necessarily acquired flexibility in shifting from the mainstream construction of life where she is constructed as an outsider to other constructions of life where she is more or less 'at home.' This flexibility is necessary for the outsider but it can also be willfully exercised by the outsider or by those who are at ease in the mainstream. I recommend this willful exercise which I call "world"-travelling and I also recommend that the willful exercise be animated by an attitude that I describe as playful" (Lugones 3). 

^^^ For writers struggling with the prospect of diversity and trying to find a place to start in what I call in my video "letting go of fear and voraciously welcoming empathy" I highly recommend this article as it is a powerful account of travelling across each other's "worlds". Read it for free with a free JStor account or through your institution, like your public library.

How to BLACK: An Analysis of Black Cartoon Characters

A FANTASTIC video that is an absolute must-watch (covers writing empathetically, writing with care)

If you have not already, read through the sources I used to formulate and argue my thesis in my video (much more detailed than I could do in an hour!):

Corinne Duyvis (ownvoices creator) on # ownvoices

CCBC - "Publishing Statistics on Children's/YA Books about People of Color and First/Native Nations and by People of Color and First/Native Nations Authors and Illustrators"

Hannah Heath - "5 Problems Within the Own Voices Campaign (And How to Fix Them)"

Saadia Faruqi - "The Struggle Between Diversity and Own Voices"

Kat Rosenfield (Refinery29) - "What is # ownvoices doing to our books?"

Lee and Low - "Diversity Baseline Survey 2019 Results"

Vulture - "Who Gave You the Right To Tell That Story"

School Library Journal - "An Updated Look at Diversity in Children's Books"

TL;DR: if you’re more overcome with the fear of offending people (often grounded in white fragility) instead of making the active, albeit sometimes uncomfortable, decision to do the hard work necessary to empathetically represent someone outside of your marginalization in fiction, I don’t think you’re ready to write POC in the nuanced, complex, empathetic ways necessary for good representation, and I would encourage you do more independent anti-racist work. (Note that “you” is not individualistically aimed at the asker!!)

Questions like this don’t necessarily have a clear-cut answer, and that is essentially the point of my video (I know, not super helpful, but I hope that makes sense!).

Hope this helps!

--Rachel