#but feel free to ask me more im happy to yap :D

[bluelolblue]

can i ask yuo about how you see santino and vincent’s relationship ? :3 (<- starting to get devoured by the sanvin)

Santino D'Antonio and Marquis Vincent Bisset de Gramont

Ofc I'm happy to answer! :D

I see their relationship as very toxic

Now this is just my like headcanon and how I think it would be like

They're both hungry for power, it's just that there's always one that's gonna be more dominant in that

Always one that's gonna be more manipulative to get what they want no matter what. And that someone in this case, for me, is Vincent

There is a thin line between between passion and being toxic with loving a person, obsession and complex love and Vincent knows how to use everything against Santino to get what he wants

Okay, it's also a little inspired by my oc's, but trust the process

Santino has his personal secrets just like anyone else, so it's something he doesn't want to share with anyone. Yet when he did open up to Vincent when they were early in their relationship, just because Vincent pretended to be someone who he can trust, Vincent later on used all that against him

Santino was kinda naive at first since, let's say, Vincent was his first boy love and he wanted to be a good boyfriend to him. And Vincent learned how to have Santino on the leash since he noticed how Santino desperately tried to be good for him, good enough for someone

Not to mention the trauma Santino has from everything he went through in his childhood. How his father treated him and when his mother died. It all left such a big impact on him which also turned him into the person we see...and Vincent just added more salt to the wound, just added more into that fire

Vincent's biggest and strongest weapon is his ability to manipulate, use words very well, I think we can all agree on that, even in the movie we can see that. So he would literally use Santino's past life to control him and make Santino obey to him

Even if Santino talked back, because he was tired of Vincent's bullshit, Vincent still managed to somehow manipulate him into getting what he wants

It also goes for their sexual life, Vincent rarely listened to what Santino wanted and needed. Flirting too, if Santino wanted to flirt with him when he was in the mood and Vincent wasn't, Vincent would either ignore him or insult him. But whenever Vincent was in the mood, he would do anything in his manipulative ability to get Santino into the mood, no matter how much Santino didn't want to, no matter how many times Santino told him "no"

Santino is more of a person who likes to have physical contact, cuddling, hair playing, gentle moments like that. But Vincent...isn't that much. So, Santino even got touch starved with him

Now, Santino isn't a weak person, he fights back, he doesn't want to listen to Vincent most of the time and in the end he realized just how bad of an influence Vincent was on him and how he is actually a selfish manipulative person. It's just that Vincent is too good with using his words...and it's something Santino learned how to recognize and how to respond to all that after he got hurt multiple times

"Fight fire with fire" - to engage in conflict the same way the opponent is

Santino also kinda started doing the same to Vincent, try to manipulate him when Vincent started his manipulation and sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. Vincent knew he couldn't keep Santino under his control for so long so he had to be quick and smart with his...plan

Vincent just wanted Santino so he have more power in the position he is, so to use him for his own good. Once he got that, Santino was of no use for him anymore. However, Santino was done with him and just wanted Vincent out of his life, never to see or hear from him ever again

To which Vincent was kinda okay with but he still just mocked him and used the memories they shared against him, making Santino feel guilty for some happy moments they had...or at least he thought he was happy in those moments

Another part of Santino got broken and he learned never to trust a person again, never to open up again. Bc if he does, he's gonna get hurt like this again

And they started to hate each other...even if they're not together anymore. But the obsession still remained in both of them

They're both drama, maybe I'll even write more about their relationship since yeah I love drama and the dynamic between them could be very interesting

I hope you liked my yapping abt these two :3

Feel free to ask me more <3

[kainaafandi-blog]

A story of Exchange

Hello my fellow exchange students!! First, let me say thank you to my super American grandmother, yaps Barbara Bancel, the one who has taught me so many things and helped me during my exchange year and after. She told me to write something about my perspective or experiences that might help you guys seeing a world called Exchange Student in different perspective. Well I’m not a good writer or story maker so hopefully my story wont bored you all and I’m not trying to teach you, because I ain’t a teacher, but I learn from the best teacher in the world, experiences!. So enjoy it

Let me introduce myself, I’m from Indonesia, a country thousand miles away from Hawaii, and believe me, I almost traveled all around the world when I went to Hawaii based on the itinerary that American Council gave me. Check it on the map if you don’t believe it (smile). I was a Kennedy Lugar – Youth Exchange and Study alumnus, 2011/2012

So, my first family, The Alapai Family, lived in Maili, Waianae, the west side of Oahu Island. Some people said that is one of the hardest place on Oahu. The Second was the Busher Family, lived in makaha, Waianae. The third one was Nielsen Family, also live in makaha. And the forth one was Bernard family, lived in Hawaii Kai, south side of Oahu.

I went to Waianae High school, the Home of Seariders, and from this school I learned much how different we were. Well in this school, I joined with some school clubs like Air rifle, the garden club and etc. Oh I forget the last family was Orme Family, they live in Hillsboro, Oregon.

Being an exchange student is not as easy as you thought. Everything can happen, sometimes beyond your expectation. You must have faith in your life, you have to be brave, and you have to be yourself. I still remember the days when I was there, Barbara told me ‘Remember–Be self-reliant and take care of your own needs….This is a mark of an Adult, not a kid.’ Being an exchange student, makes me believe that I can do what I can do, it opened my mind, every people has courage to be a leader, they just don’t know how to do it. I learned how to deal with people who have different culture, language, attitude, etc. I learned to control myself for not stereotyping, I learned how to be an open-minded person and learned to solve every problem that comes to me.

What will you do if a person full of tattoo in his hand come closer to you while you are sitting alone in school bench? Well you might run as fast as you can but I believe it will make that guy feel bad, or you wait and see since you are in school! So I grew up a year in a place that people said tough place. So what I did at that time was, I sat, and he came to me, and you know what, he asked my name and he knew that I’m an exchange student, but he confused when he heard that I’m from Indonesia (he knew it when I introduced myself in front of the class) so he asked me about my Country. Can you imagine what if I run away, and I lost a chance to tell people about my country?? Which I believe it was one of my goal during my exchange year, to tell the world about my country!

So, day by day I learned how to control myself for not being a coward. I learned new thing, don’t judge a book by its cover! Indeed, it’s true. Every night before I slept, I always did the reflection thing, I rethink for what have I learned, what I just got today. Well maybe some of us, before going to sleep, will be crying because of homesick, missing daddy and mommy, family in home country, friends, well I must admit sometimes I did that too. It’s okay, you can cry as much as you can, but I suggest you, please do not waste your energy for that too much. You cannot buy a year during your exchange year with money, you just can’t! It is not just a life in a year, it is about experiences. It’s about making the new you, combine with the old you!

When I was in there, the New Year was one of the hardest part for me, because the first time in my life didn’t celebrate New Year with my real family. But, it made me stronger. Believe me, after 5 years, never once in my life I cried because I must be away from my friend or people who are important for me, not because I lost my empathy, but I realized, sadness won’t make them back, sadness just make you feel weak, you just need to be strong to face it, and believe me being away thousand miles in a year has taught you how to do it. Oh believe me, one of my best friend passed away when I was in Hawaii.  Not just being stronger, my exchange year also taught me how to be a good person in a group or being a good leader. I have to admit that I gained a lot in public speaking skill, skill that you won’t get in class if you just sit and listen. Barbara said to me “ If you come here just to sit, read books, you better go home, you can get it at home, so go outside.  Well at the first, I didn’t really get what she meant for that, but then I realize she was right, I wasted a year of my life, just for sitting at home playing computer? C’mon, I can do it later, so then I do those volunteering work. And again, I’ve gained new skill, Social interaction. Yes, this is what we need nowadays. Some people,  know how to solve problem, but they don’t know how to explain it to common people. You know why? Because they don’t have public speaking skill and bad in socialization with others. So this is your chance to gain your skill in public, giving some speech, giving presentation, interact with new people you don’t know, knowing each other, caring each other, helping each other sincerely.  You know what the most important thing that I’ve gained? Being flexible. Yes it’s true. I lived with 4 different types of host family. They are different in many ways. They treated me different from each other. If you ask me which one is the best, I would say, all of them are the best in different thing. If now you are complaining your host family because they never buy you food, or ask you to go to a movie, or playing outside, or ask you just to stay at home, or yelling at you, well believe me I’ve been there. I’ve been in many situation where my host family not really a wealthy family, or way too rich. And I know the difference. I learned from them and know the different how it feels lived in a family that doesn’t have too much stuffs, or just so so, or the rich one, or just by himself at home. From that thing, I’ve gained something that we called tolerance! Something small but important in our life. Don’t be so selfish to yourself to get what you want, cause not everything you can get as what you want, but you will get something that you need.

So if you think your exchange year is tough, think again, out there, there must be someone who has a life tougher than you think and having problem with their exchange year. So be tough! Learn from around you, talk to each other, and be friendly!

So then you might want to know what is the different after being a exchange student. Maybe I just want to tell you little bit b’cause I want you to feel the difference by yourself. The new you and the old you will fight each other once you come home. You will understand it later after you come home. The important thing is, you will see yourself is not the old you in some ways, but your colleague at home will still see you as the same one. Once again, I remember Barbara told me during the final orientation before leaving Hawaii, she said ‘It will be even more difficult for your family to get used to the New You given all your growth, learning and development over the past year’ and yes it is true. People will see you the same, but they will surprise once they know you better.  . So good luck for that :D.

Let’s jump to the end of this story. 2011-2012 was the most outstanding year I’ve ever had. I met new people, awesome people who taught me so many things about life, about people, about culture, about sadness, happiness. Families with their hospitality, friends with their smile when I came to the class for the first time. Oh yeah, just a side story, I also made an enemy in my school you know, but it a good way. Well she was just jealous to me since I beat her score at school in history of Hawaiian class and algebra2, she told me that she didn’t like me cause she became number 2 in school. Oh well, I didn’t care actually.. :D believe me I just bring a book and one pencil to school, I prefer forget those thing than forget my camera. hahaha.

im not trying to teach you, I m just sharing my experiences, you know experience is the best teacher in the world. Last from me, please be a responsible exchange student, you can be free, but be responsible for what you are doing. Once again, enjoy your life in Hawaii, where ohana means family!