#but got it after two tries today
Text
Some (late) holiday photos of the boye~!
#cats#holiday#OUGHH....... barely could even get these edited and posted... my mysterious sickness flare up has been sooo bad the past few#days.. I didn't even go to the usual obligatory family christmas I was supposed to attend (!!! health issue/medical mention in tags below)#My stomach issues basically put me in a constant state of uncontrollable shivering/body shaking + nausea + sometimes rapid heart#rate. and when it happens at night that makes it like.. nearly impossible to sleep when you're violently shaking + you can feel your heart#so strong + you keep having to run to the bathroom every 5 minute to cough and gag#and throw up and so on and so forth. etc. So I went like 40 hours without any sleep almost for christmas eve and all of christmas day#last night I finally got maybe 2 hours of sleep in between the nausea and shaking and stuff. and then today I was able to get a few#hours of sleep in the afternoon. Today I tried taking an anxiety mediciation a doctor gave me in case it was anxiety related (it's apparent#ly used to relax people and works in the moment. rather than like Anxiety Mediciation that you have to take for weeks to see any effect#because I think this isn't actually acting on your brain chemistry it's judt like..a mild sedative or something.) but all that did was make#me dizzy and sweaty lol. I;m glad I slept a little but I'm just still frustrated that I don't feel normal. I started having these#'episodes' (with the stomach issues + shaking + heartrate + nausea etc.) like at the end of october. And usually it will happen for like a#few hours at a time. or i'll lose sleep one day and then be fine the next. but this has been like nearly 3 days of feeling weird. so is#getting kind of annoying... It's funny too because I was so so productive like.. literally the few days before. I was feeling much better#and I was working on my game and blah blah. But then.. random issue flare up out of nowhere of course.. yaayy.... happy holidays to meee lo#I did at least see two random ducks outside of my window in the yard area for christmas. and havent seen them since. So it's like.. hrmm..#pacing around my room nauseous and shakings and etc. but at least... hello.. two little ducks placed there just for me :3c#Now I get anxiety every night which I'm sure doesn't help/could exacerbate whatever underlying genuinely physical issues exist. But after#like 2 nights of 'I spend the night sleepless and incredibly uncomfortable just sitting in the dark sick' then bedtime is like.. dread...#I even was trying slapping myself in the face in desperation to see if somehow that could shock my body out of whatever the hell it was#doing lol.. up at 3am holding ice cubes in my hand and hitting myself in the head and crying from exhaustion and thowing up.. literally#ridiculous cartoon character feeling... AAANYWAY!!! At least I have baby boy pictures. and I have lots of doctors appointments so hopefully#whatever the issue is can be sorted out at some point. I don't know much about ibs but hopefully maybe something like that that I could pos#ibly take medication for and not something more seirous or anything. Maybe there's a food I'm secretly intolerant to or whatever.#And I did at least post a sims holday video actually timed for the holidays so that's something. I havent been productive really latrely#though obviously.. I can't even play games or small tasks when in that state since I'm just SO physically uncomfortable. Nausea and heart#stuff are THE hardest physical sensations to ignore.. BUT yeah... hoping I shall sleep at all tonight. hopeing to get like 3 productive#things done.. at some point... at least SOMETHING... lol..... *** *** ***
65 notes
·
View notes
Text
i had to put my dog down today 💔💔💔💔💔💔 worst thing i have ever experienced
#he went downhill so fast in the last two days :(((((#couldn’t breathe couldn’t walk wouldn’t eat#he paced from 1pm-1am yesterday without laying down even tho he was so wobbly :(((((#and he was so bad today 😥#he was the best dog he didn’t deserve lung cancer 💔#sweetest cutest dog in the world and i have the credentials to say that as someone who worked at a pet store for six years#and met thousands of dogs#we got three and a half extra months with him after we initially were gonna put him down but he bounced back#and then we almost put him down two more times#he tried so hard for us 💔#living this day four times (with this time being the worst obviously) has been so traumatic#i’m grateful for all the extra time we got but it didn’t make me any more prepared#miss him soooo much already no dog will ever compare 💔💔💔
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
📓🖊️🧸
#i feel so lonely now bc i have no one to talk to sksksk#my sisters gets mad whenever i try to talk 2 mom and she just slammed doors nd got irritated at me#nd my mom is so stressed nd in a bad mood so she just got annoyed when i tried saying smth to her#so ig i should just vent to my bestfriend beloved diary confidant thats been here for me for 5yrs<3333#anywayyy today was rough.. i woke up w a headache after 3hrs of sleep :((#but still had to get up nd get ready nd eat boxed mashed potatoes for breakkyy 🤢🤮 (it's so gross after eating it everyday lol)#then w my hunchback nd achy stomach i went to school. it was frustrating bc ppl r so fkn rude#they bumped into me at the bus nd i had to sit like a weirdo caging my left stomach side from everyone. had to elbow some dumb fkn guy bc he#pressed his backpack into my side. so i had to basically push it away from me lol he thought i was so weird. but move tf away asshole??????#got to school nd checked myself in the mirror nd i was so pale i look like absolute garbage its annoying :((#it was next to insufferable to endure class bc my head hurt so bad (it was the worst part i think) nd i couldnt sit up straight so my back#hurt so bad too sksksks :<#but i managed to write a little but on my assignment#then i left a bit earlier bc i couldnt stand it anymore i was feeling so bad#wrnt to the library bc i had to return some books. could only carry two small ones tho so have to go back multiple times sksksk#felt soooo bad but ate some more disgusting mashed potatoes nd took a nap w an ice pack. took a migraine pill even if it upsets my stomach🤣#now a few hours later i feel better physically#buuuuuut im so miserable im not even kidding#idc if it sound pathetic or fatty but genuinely that moment w a cup of coffee nd a small chocolate treat everyday makes me feel sm better#like im not kidding!!!!! it does a lot for my peace of mind sksksk T-T#im so miserable bc i cant eat anything still im so hungry :((#and im weak. im pale. my skin's dry. it's itchy bc of malnutrition... i feel faint nd dizzy nd slow nd just not good at all#im so frustrated i hate this sm i wanna feel strong and healthy!! i dont wanna be constantly hungry. i wanna go to the gym nd go for walks#i wanna be able to sit up straight nd not get back pain!!!#i know i know it's only been 8 days since surgery and it takes time to heal i get it..... :(#but theres just too much going on and im so sick and tired of it all#mostly i just wanna be able to eat and feel strong bc i feel so weak nd i miss food so much sksksksk
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
bruhh the world really hates me this week
#let's see what happened? what hell did I go through?#we were down 12 people this week on the team- so we had two 12-hour work days#my body hurts and my feet are blistered- and I was assigned to help my supervisor wrap up in equipment for the week#which I barely got training on#yesterday I accidentally tripped the emergency fire exit alarm in walmart cause my dumbass didn't watch where I was going#which caused me to have a meltdown which I was trying VERY hard to hold back and not sob my eyes out in front of my boss#My belt buckle broke while I was working today so I had to stop and shop for a new one#I tripped and ate shit while packing the equipment cases into my supervisor's hotel room last night#my leg gave out from under me when I tried to stand up after counting a shelf in grocery and I rolled my ankle#I got lost when my supervisor told me to take the equipment to the back room#I had to stop and ask two walmart employees where it was located- neither of them knew#I've been overstimulated since first break this morning#I got so many scratches on my arrms from counting pegs in apparel and those bitches are so sharp they'd make my therapist concerned#aaaand while wrapping up equipment there was a bike hung up on a shelf and I ran face-first into the handlebar and I bent my glasses frames#so now I gotta get those fixed#I'm quickly making my way to the top in competing for 'most directionally challenged' as my supervisor jokingly put it#I'M GONNA GO DOWN TO THE LOBBY TOMORROW MORNING AND MAKE MYSELF A WAFFLE FOR BREAKFAST#I DESERVE A TREAT
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
turns out i am NOT immune to mob mentality because i keep seeing people order stuff on our menu and convincing myself i would like it because! look how popular it is!! it HAS to be good! and then it simply is not no matter how many times i try it
#working food service is a TRIP#there are NINE combinations to this thing#and i have tried four so far with NO success#it’s got like a coconut milk option which i thought i really liked for like two seconds which was bizarre#but i have decided that actually it is Also bad#so in conclusion there’s like one tolerable thing on our menu is what ive found#though to be fair im vegetarian so like maybe the sandwiches are good??#i doubt it though considering the amount of grease i pour out of our meat containers every day makes me want to pass out#just wanted to share that i have once again been disappointed😔#customers keep asking me for recommendations and it’s like girl go somewhere else this place sucks :/#i hear the coffee is legitimately good but i don’t trust anyone anymore after failure number four today#and i don’t like coffee so i can’t even cast judgement on it😔#life junk#not anime
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
Wukong does NOT like his the area where the circlet is touched — he will get defensive about it, stopping any attempt to feel or touch without hesitation. Only those who he trusts fully are allowed and even than he will sometimes he will tense up. It takes a lot for him to let the anyone touch the area.
#Behind The Mask | {OOC}#Living Legend | About the Muse {Sun Wukong}#Do Not Trespass | {Do NOT Reblog}#They both don't and still do hurt; not just the phantom pains that come and go at times#He gets defensive about his head#It's lightening quick how fast he grab a wrist if anyone he hasn't given permission tries to touch them#He might be touch starved BUT he still has his boundaries and touch is a very trust thing with him#Another HC; was going to add to the prior one after Nala got me thinking CB#So; you get two HC today UwU
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
youtube
#diana's music diary#good morning#i slept early#it was nice#very cozy#I only slept like 4 hours though cause I had to get up for a delivery... also I'm posting this a couple of hours after waking...#as is becoming usual for these... I've been kind of vibing to music pretty much...#anyway yesterday was good but so exhausting... played lethal company with friends like I'd said which was really fun!! was a little bit of#process getting my bearings in it since I'd seen maybe one second of gameplay before but after a day or two in game I picked it up I'd say!#I mostly just ran away when I saw something scary but I tried scanning a monster and it opened the door which made me scream once ahaha#after that I was a lil tired but we ended up having a session of the project moon ttrpg I'm in kind of out of nowhere#it was short but v fun to play Frei again he kind of completely shut down the distortion singlehandedly which was surprising considering he#has no combat capability.. incapacitated them and read its mind which helped us figure out what we needed to do to resolve the distortion#-peacefully! my partners character did the actual resolving cause Frei is terrified of going near anything as gross as that distortion was#(it was a giant gross greasy burger monster. who was just bob from bobs burgers. he ended up in a polycule with linda and teddy after.)#Frei also read my partners characters mind a bit and maybe upset him a little by mentioning his daughter (her character is divorced lol)#anyway yeah... I was tired after both of those so I kinda got in bed and passed out quickly while listening to music...#idk what I'll do today I'm a bit sore still and I'm v sick and tired rn so I'll probably just relax a bit...#let's make today nice and cozy and good... love u friends thank u for reading <3
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
you ever end up typing a rant in the tags so long tumblr physically cuts you off and the post publishes with probably only 1/3rd of the tags
#had an interaction with The Leech™ and it left me feeling so frustrated and upset#tl;dr: i wanted to record today but she showed up and started talking so loudly my mic could pick her up through my bedroom door#and it hit me that it's fucked up that she's somehow just allowed to come and go as she pleases#(and is actively entertaining the thought of moving back in for a minimum of 2 months if she gets the surgery she's looking for)#(2 months to 2 years according to her words)#(despite the fact that she was literally evicted nearly a year ago)#(after 7+ years of sleeping on our couch and making our lives hell and generally dodging any attempt to get her to get a life and move out)#anyway after about 20 minutes of chatter i heard her go outside#find the plant i bought and planted myself this last week#(the first one i've ever had ! ! ! )#(every other plant i've ever cared for has either been my grandmother's or a gift from someone else)#(most notably the two peace lilies from my dad's memorial service)#and dump. an entire bucket of water on it. left over from soaking her orchids she insists on keeping here.#spoilers: it's a desert plant that requires low moisture and well-drained soil#so i went out and got on her about that and she insisted she was just trying to help#(like how she was '''just trying to help''' when she nearly drowned both of the aforementioned lilies)#(because she literally kept putting in water until there was noting but standing water without soil in the pot)#and for a half hour after kept coming in to bother me about the plant#asking where i bought it and if she could have clippings and asking if i had the right soil or the right tools#and reminding me of how i tried to grow pumpkin seeds when i was six and they died#and INSISTING she knew more about caring for it despite the fact that i literally researched this plant for a solid week before#and jsu t#another instance of The Leech™ trying to jam herself into my life so she can claim she's a provider and i'm helpless without her#but also turn around and complain about how it's sooo hard caring for us and how it's //impossible// for her to get a life#if she's busy caring for us#fuck off and die actually
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
booked a tattoo appointment…
#if anyone has any advice on the process/healing etc please let me know !!!!!!#two weeks today… paid the deposit…. omg. like omg#first tattoo ahhhh#the artist is SO GOOD + i tried to get an appt when they opened their books in may but i was too slow#even tho i set alarms etc#so this time around i was truly ON IT#and i got one of their flash designs as well 😭 guys it’s so cute#it’s a sword but it has purple colouring on it too? like delicate line work w colour it’s BEAUTIFUL#it is gonna be big tho#but omfg it’s so pretty#i’ll post photos after it’s done
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
I did it!! I finished the next chapter of You Know Where the City Is! I'm going to do another read through and post it tomorrow 🥰 Thank you so much for everyones patience!
#allylikethecat#fanfiction#you know where the city is#matty x taylor fake dating fic#matty x taylor#the updates that only i care about#but they're fun for me so im posting them anyway#i ended up having to stay an extra THREE HOURS at work#after waking up at 4am this morning to go ride the feral creature i call my horse#so i was like i am going home and refusing to leave it tonight#and now im going to bed again because wow i am tired#im actually really happy he was a lil feral today though#after he tried to die on me on monday its super nice to have him back to his semi psychotic self#like his two settings are perfect angel boy i would trust with my mother who is scared of horses#and feral demon that i constantly threaten to send to the glue factory#today he was a demon pony because taytay went past super fast on the golf cart and he decided to use that as an excuse to be naughty#as if that wasn't something he sees every day of his life and usually doesnt care about- but today it was HORRIFYING#he finished up really good though and got all his lead changes... where they were SUPPOSED to be instead of just randomly added for ~flair~
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
i do really wanna study the phenomenon of people going to multiple shows of an artist and getting multiple meet and greets with an artist and feeling very entitled to said artist to the point they genuinely believe they’re friends with the artist and i know it goes along with parasocial relationships but like oh my god
#the band camino genuinely has some of the nicest fans#how fucking ever there were these two girls that like super pissed me off today#and they were like first in line first in line which whatever if no consequence#me and my friend went up trying to figure out the vip line situation#weren’t helpful super mean said it was all one line but they didn’t know they were just GA (a lie btw)#and me and friend were standing there (not even in line) just trying to figure it out#and we’re talking to other people trying to figure it out no one could agree#eventually a sweet girl came and i think we figured it out with her she was so helpful and nice#(bevause i think it did seem like we were cutting the line because people were lining ip behind us#as we tried to figure it out but we were like no no we’re just trying to understand)#and then one of the meaner girls from earlier was like ‘i’m sure they’ll check where you’re standing#and the nice girl said ‘i will make sure they come around the building)#like super nice genuinely and it was great#but no one did come get us until like the VERY end and we were rushing to check in even though we were there and hour and a half early#but then the way it worked out we formed a new like after touring the stage and me and my friend happened to be up front#the two mean girls from earlier fully cut (went under a bar instead of walking with the vip coordinator) which again whatevee i don’t care#during this vaguely heard they’ve been to 36 shows (which like respect but you got vip at all of them? how lmao and love the boys but theyre#very consistent you’ve seen it once you’ve seen it respectfully and then after the meet and greet i was behind them by the stage and i think#they were talking about me and my friend since we got to go relatively early to meet them#but again literally the last people in the meet and greet entering line lmao but i was visibly shaking from anxiety and like it wasn’t worth#it in the moment then they got barricade and were SHOUTING the boys names and holding up signs for songs THAT HAD ALRWADY BEEN PLAYED AT#SHOW THEY WENT TO (i know because the girl literally said so) and singing very sexually to the boys trying to get their attention#and just were so unpleasant and felt above everyone else#and it’s like! y’all aren’t friends with them! theyre never gonna fuck you! they recognize you because you go to a lot of shows and worm#your way to the barricade because you know the ins and outs of the vip process#but if y’all were really friends you would not have to pay HUNDREDS of dollars to see them and talk to them#i have friends who work in the music industry i have friends that are artists i have made friends with artists AT shows#you’ll be put on the guest list or brought backstage through a back door or they will go out of their way to the audience to talk to you and#you will hang out outside of shows when you’re able to#if you are regularly paying an exorbitant amount of money for five seconds? you’re not friends lmao
1 note
·
View note
Note
hello seb. whatever is happening in seb-land right now?
We're still on holiday and they are starting to take their effects in the way that I'm not more relaxed. The opposite actually because I need to study for biology I write the exam next Friday and let me tell you things are not looking great on that front. I also forgot how socially awkward I could get. Apparently I can get very socially awkward.
#i love being on time off because the funniest thing in the world is relearning how to talk to people after not doing that#for pretty much two weeks straight#it's very funny it's also very embarrassing and awkward but in the grand scheme of things it's funny#how easy it is to unlearn stuff like that I mean#not that i was ever good at talking to people anyways#but still#it's amusing#but other than that I've been.....idk tbh I've just kinda been#tried to search for uhhh spelling wait. koroks#I'm at 391 now#maybe I'll manage the 900 after all but....what am I to do then#stayed up until 4am today that was interesting#wait no 4:40#i could hear the birds when I went to sleep I never want to do that again usually I'm in bed and sleeping four hours earlier#accidentally got too engrossed in a bood I was readinh#but no overall I'm alright I suppose#its going it's certainly going#Vani🐈
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
help
#serious time#i've been in this fandom since the day the original dropped#i bought it same day too#i played it next to my brother on my laptop who could not join#but he wanted to#oh he wanted to#i struggled hard and it took me months to get anywhere#but finally i got to dr kahls robot#i ragequit one night and my brother asked to play. i made a new save and let him go ham#an hour later he asked for help closing the game. i came in and he had accidentally deleted my save#months of progress... gone#i left the game for a long time after that. it took me so long to get to that point#but steadily i worked my way back up. i even tried again after moving to another computer and loosing everything again#finally... this year. 2022. i beat dr kahl's robot.#i screamed to the rooftops at like 3 am#i beat out the rest of Isle III and once again put the game down.#then once the DLC release date was announced I decided to finish this once and for all.#after a solid week of fighting i beat King Dice#there was one week left to beat Devs. I did it with two days to spare.#then today i beat the DLC. It's the 6th. It took me exactly a week.#It took me 5 years to beat the original and only a week to beat the DLC. Already I was shaking from how far I've come#but then... i heard the reprise in the credits.#the place where it all began... the first song i'd heard from this game back in 2017... that song I'd heard so many times...#i cried. i cried hard. Twice. I was in a discord call and it came over the bot not long after that and I cried so hard.#i've come so far. I'm a completely different person. but also the same. i've done so much and am now living on my own#by brother is ~2 hours away from me and he's beaten the original 6+ times and beat the DLC in like 2 days#but I can now say that I've done it. On my own. No help. I finally beat this game... and I've grown.#and it all really hit me because of that end credits song.#thank you cuphead. thank you for inspiring me to be who i am today in so many ways. thank you for giving me something i didn't know was a#...vital part of me. I am fully engrossed in the world of 30s animation and it's all thanks to you
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
Now why the hell do I have such intensely realistic dreams I had to wake up and stare at the ceiling for like ten minutes to make sure I was alive.
#me 🤝 having dreams where everyone is mad at me and also I'm having a near death experience and everyone is still mad at me#literally had a dream that I was riding a bike and got hit by a car and woke up in the hospital then felt like shit but was okay enough and#then in my dream I was like hmm I wanna go to a gas station to get snacks bc that's why I was biking in the first place and so I drove to a#random gas station and came back to my car after getting snacks and there was a fucking mountain lion inside my car that immediately pounced#on me and started trying to bite my face and no one would fucking help me at all#it was terrifying and I literally like argued with my mom in the dream and she said all this personal horrible shit and didn't care at all#that I was hit by a car and then I went to the gas station and millie was there and she was mad at me for not going on some trip with her#and her family even tho I was like nah dude I was like JUST hit by a car this morning bro I don't wanna go to Connecticut with u and ur fam#and even the gas station clerk was mad at me for some reason and he tried to charge me a hundred dollars for a pack of icebreakers and a#box of strawberries like dude what the fuck is wrong with my brain but I remember every fucking detail of it like why is my brain so evil#my brain will be like hmm time to dream... let's think about exactly how it would feel to almost die once and then be mauled by a big cat#like why in my dreams do I feel everything that happens to me. why did I feel my broken nose and he blood dripping down my face and the road#burn across my body why are my dreams like yeah u can smell the mountain lions breath as you're trying to hit it with ur purse and it's like#drooling on ur face cause it's trying to wrap it's jaws around your entire head#like bruh. hey brain. did I really need that today? did I really need two near death experiences in one dream? and also everyone hates me?#was that really necessary brain? my brain also had the audacity to set the dream in New Hampshire during winter. why would I be riding a#bike in the middle of winter and then be slammed into the road and then be attacked by a lion what message is that trying to tell me exactly#when I woke up I literally touched my nose to make sure it wasn't broken thats how fucking real my dreams are I hate it#anyways I'm mad at my brain for having hyper realistic dreams where I'm in pain physically and emotionally
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Earlier Hazel started baaa-ing and I did it right back so we just had this back and forth going on when suddenly someone came driving by on their bike and also did baaaa and Hazel just looked towards the fence "baaa?"
#girl and me had a whole conversation#then someone else came driving by on their bike#'oh how cute! they have a lil' paradise here!'#but god those two sure became lively#they were still so nervous Friday when we got them and Saturday which was obviously understandable#and they only starting making noises when the other went away to go exploring without the other#but today man#whenever I or my mom left they started calling after us#Hazel kept following my dad today to baaa at him#oh and#they also allowed me to pet them!!#i have not tried it before because I knew how nervous they were#but today i figured might be a good time to try while hand feeding them#so I just did it gently with a finger to rub them#they also nibbled at it#and every time i come in they come running towards me#it's really nice how they act now compared to Friday and Saturday#the back and forth was really nice tho especially since they both usually baaa softly but Hazel put a lot of energy into it
1 note
·
View note
Text
God theres so much stuff to cover, tumblr has been missing out severely!! But yes, take this as my true comeback to the fandom. ✌️❤️🔥
#I finally feel revitalized after such a long burn-out HOHH...#some of yall are probably dreading my return which is valid. i too didnt rly want to return to the place that tried to chase me out🙃#but the love for this ship is too strong honestly. these two boys mean so much too me.#gotta talk about lycoris sequel and everything! also got so many art and fic/headcanon ideas and also want to share all the JP art too. 🤫#theres also so many good xmas/winter one-shot doujins that im translating 😈#ahhh i truly feel like my old yjkr self again this is so nice. i even feel like my old shitposting memelord self too 🥳#but for now I sleep!!! had such insomnia throughout the holidays i really oughta rest early today😅
6 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
onlyalittlesuspicious
Just a little silly
babaroom
Untitled
laemitor
laemitor
cobwebcorner
A Hoard of Spooks
imnotmufi
ImNotMufi