#but he instead directly says like don't approach your cat laying down minding it's business and pet it's head

[classicintp]

Can't stand it when professionals have objectively bad takes but they're legitmately professionals and you're just some guy. You recognize this, you acknowledge it, you even appreciate it in the appropriate context, but it's so fucking infuriating. Even if the professional is humble and concedes to your point, which is usually not going to happen to even the humble in general unless it's a correction directly being witnessed, you still have their diehard fans demonizing you because you proved their idol wrong (even if you weren't pompous or obnoxious about it, just the idea that their beloved expert was human and made an error drives them mad). So I white-knuckle it and say nothing and then log into Tumblr and blurt it out in the tags.

[reading-hub]

Dandy And The Jet 🚀 [2] Bar Fights, Baby!

- Space Dandy x reader -

[part 1] [part 3]

- - - - - - -

After transported from Dr. Gel's ship, I finally reached the targets next location. Looking around my surroundings, apparently, this Dandy guy was on his way to some sleazy alien bar.

Walking straight to the front door, the locals surrounding the place here were as shady as they come. Cheeky con aliens looking for their next sucker, prostitutes out in the open without a care in the world, muscular alien bikers that were almost seven feet tall who meant business and I mean really mean it!

The inside of the bar was warm but almost lack oxygen with so many creatures inside because of the insane amount huddled together like sardines, a human-like me wouldn't be noticed right off the bat. Unless I tried to engage in conversation with anyone. The floor was sticky - I swore some large blue alien got knocked over and couldn't get his face off the tile when he landed face first.

Luckily, a few seats in front of the bar itself weren't taken. I sat down. Once I did, a tall slim pink alien woman with three tentacles came to my seat. She was friendly but frightening to look at first glance. She brightly smiled at me with multiple small sharp rows of dark yellow teeth.

I ask for a simple Flaming Indigo, it was this purple colored alcoholic beverage that I kinda enjoyed to pass the time. It tasted of grape soda and coke and a hint of strong cinnamon from the fire that lit up before you drank it.

The barista served my drink in a matter of seconds. I stared down at the purple fizzles inside the cup and gulped it down. I asked to keep them coming while waiting for this Space Dandy.

What felt like hours, I told the alien barista to cut it with the drinks for a bit. A couple of people left the bar, so it was down to a fair few, no more crowds bumping into.

I heard the door sway open, I saw what it appeared to be him. Large slicked back pompadour, sideburns, varsity jacket, metal soles that clink. Just like Dr. Gel described.

The others were I'm guessing his group, a Betelgeusian and a small two-wheeled robot.

I tried to lay low, not seem like I'm staring at them so closely. Instead, I tried to stare down at my half-empty glass. I heard footsteps approach next to me unexpectedly, it was him and his crew. Dandy sat next to me, unaware I was next to him.

"I can't believe that the alien we caught was just some shape-shifter!" hearing the alien cat groan in stress. Dandy shook off his complaint. "Eh, it happens. Hey waitress! How about a drink for my pet over here!" Dandy cried out. "Hey! I'm not your pet!" I heard right after.

Dandy laughed it off and stopped suddenly. "Hey, do you by any chance have a locator with ya, mine kinda broke." I almost choked on my drink.

"Are you talking to me?" I asked, puzzled."Yeah, sorry for scaring you like that, hun." Did he just call me hun? Oh well, just play along.

"Than yeah, I have one."

"Oh sweet! See Meow, our luck is turning after all!" He moved his excitement to his cat friend. His friend named Meow just rolled his eyes in response.

"Any drinks your interested in this afternoon, sir?" The waitress from early asked. "Uhh, yeah.." Dandy was looking around until he spotted my drink.

"I'll have what she's having!" He pointed at me. I looked at him as though he was crazy. He saw my reaction, "You don't mind, right?"

Keeping my cool all I can say was, "Not at all." Showing a warm smile. "Cool." He said simply right after.

Before the waitress passed his drink, I felt a large figure approaching us. Stomps were vibrating the ground and our drinks. I was hesitating on fighting whoever was asking for it...

The stomps stopped right behind Dandy. My eyes cornered seeing a large red-orange alien, their hair was in a Mohawk, cliche I know but true. And judging by the black leather coat, he was one of the fearsome, tough bikers from outside.

"Excuse me, but your sitting in my seat.."

I heard Dandy's crew were freaking out in the sidelines, praying for Dandy not to die. I'm guessing they were thinking of either running away to the ship or stay and watch their leader get beaten to a pulp. Either way, something bad was about to unfold.

Dandy didn't even look back at the guy, he just sipped his drink without care! He probably thought he was some alien, but I think the logic would judge by the raspy voice that this large guy had was no one to fuck with. I'm gonna take a short wild guess that Dandy isn't exactly the smartest in the crew.

Crap.

"Sorry, but I took this seat first." Dandy, not sure if this is the time to act high and mighty. If he saw who he was talking to, he probably would've given up his seat in a matter of seconds.

The biker alien grabbed Dandy by the shoulders, hoisted him up like it was nothing. Turn his small form around to see a close up of his face. And being the few people who got a front-row seat, that was a face only a mother could love...

I couldn’t let Dandy die. I had to bring him to Dr. Gel or Admiral Perry alive. But that would mean I would have to break my nice, human attitude loose now if I really wanted him alive at the end of this task. Oh, fuck this.

I looked at my drink and saw it was empty now. Right on time.

I stood from my seat, smashed the rim of the glass on the hard bar counter. I took the now open sharp glass and used it to stab the alien biker on its thick skull. A bit over the top and extreme but punches wouldn’t get this guy to loosen Dandy.

It winced in pain and let go of Dandy, dropping him on the floor. As the large alien was crying in pain and trying to yank off the glass cup off his skull, I kicked as hard as I could on his side and made him fall onto the three tables that were next to him. Making it hard to get back up, and giving me some time to drag Dandy and his crew to safety.

"Come on you idiot!" He looked at me shocked, so did his friends but I didn't care. Getting impatient, I just grabbed both his hands to get him up faster. Pulling him away from the bar, his crew followed along by his cat friend holding that small robot from earlier and running behind me.

I quickly turn to Dandy as we were running. "Where’s your ship!" I urgently asked him. He was studdering at first but quickly regained his composure. "It's over there!" He pointed a few feet away which looked like a lot when running away from a huge biker alien that was capable of whatever the fuck, which I did not plan on finding out!

It was the large yellow canoe ship of some sort. I immediately pushed all three inside the ship and went straight to the now-closed front window, seeing the alien running toward us with that a glass shard still in his skull. How the hell is he still able to walk after that?!

I immediately turned my head to Dandy, seeing him still lounging on the floor. "We gotta move!" He and his crew looked at me in question. I jumped onto the main seat, good thing I at least knew the basics of piloting a ship, like when to go fast as you can as a huge alien is chasing us down as we speak!!

"Listen, lady, I--!" Before Dandy could finish his sentence, the front of the ship was forcibly grabbed suddenly. I saw that the biker from earlier was holding a grudge and wouldn't give up on it.

"Oh geez! He caught us like we're fish or something!" The alien cat cried out. “EEEE!!" The tiny robot cried after in autotune.

"Relax, I got this!" I immediately tried engaging the boosters as much as I can so this guy can let go as we rocket the fuck outta here. I concentrated until it was the right the time to let go and having all the booster bars full. Hearing Dandy and his crew telling me to hurry up because the alien was trying to break the glass frame.

Two bars, Meow was crying out and holding the robot.

Three bars, Dandy was crying out and tried to force me to start the ship now.

Four

Five, I blasted the ship right into the billboard sign, where that alien got impacted onto in seconds. We finally made it through. I heard silence now, guess it was lecture time. I put the ship on autopilot and faced Huey, Dewey, and Louie.

"What?" I asked them. Dandy seemed more offended than the other two. "What'ya mean what? No stranger is allowed to use the ship unless it's QT our robot here."

"You do remember that I saved you, right? You know, thanks for saving me from a seven feet tall alien that could've beaten me in juices." I defended myself.

"See Meow, this is exactly why I rarely take women in my crew unless I'm doing them in the behind." Meow and QT were looking back and forth to each other, back to Dandy.

"I don't know man, I mean she did save you, we saw it," Meow said simply. "Adding on, she has sharp and quick combat skills that none of us have in this group." QT agreed.

Dandy looked at them as though they were entirely different people. "Crew meeting now!"

Meow, QT and Dandy went to a different room. You were still standing in the pilot room, looking where the ship will take next.

"What exactly are you two saying by 'group' and 'adding'?" Dandy asked, directly at QT who he quoted said line. QT responded. “I'm saying she would be a great addition to the crew, no offense Dandy, but when was the last time you shot anything with that ray gun of yours?" Dandy felt offended. How can QT bring up his poor marksmanship like that, especially since he would assume that she would be better at shooting than he would!

But, that robot is right. She would be a good use for the team for a little while... Dandy thought.

"Yeah, I like her!" Meow jumped in. "She seems cool and did you see how badass she was when she saved you from that guy! We thought you were gonna die this time."

It's so nice to know that my crew did not think I would live today.

"Alright, alright, cool it!" Dandy said to pipe them down. They looked at Dandy, waiting for what he was gonna say next.

Maybe it was time to finally have a female member in the group. Meow and QT seemed esthetic about her being here already, Other than Dandy kind of. Dandy just looked back in the small window seeing her.

She was good at starting Aloha Ole with no hesitation, and she saved my ass back there, and hot while doing it.

Although now that I'm looking at her backside a bit, she does have a body that she's comfortable with having. I'd give her booty a 7/10 at most. Something that I wouldn't mind looking at when bored but also wouldn't get too distracted by in a serious and tough situation.

What felt like painstaking minutes for Dandy to respond, he finally spoke.

“She...she can stay."

All three of them finally left the other room and went to where she was. Hands in Dandy’s pocket, sucking up with what he had to say but needed to!

"I'm sorry." Her eyebrows rose a little but not too much. "Miss, would you like to be apart of the Space Dandy crew?" Meow and QT were silently pleading in the sidelines.

Her face lit up a little bit. She mentally check-marked the first step of the mission. She never thought she’d get this far already, she mainly expected to stealthily east drop places to see them. But hey, crazy luck. Realizing they were waiting for a response, she spoke. "Alright, I always did wanted to be part of a crew." She shrugged.

Both Meow and QT wanted to celebrate that a new member was finally accepted.

Meow and QT cheered on and quickly had the idea of celebrating a new member for a 'celebration snack'?

They left soon after, meanwhile, she was left with Dandy alone, standing a few feet away from each other. Let awkward silence ensue.

"I'm sorry for saying that your a stranger and taking you from... behind." Dandy looked down, a little bit ashamed for what he said earlier. Not expecting Meow and QT to leave that fast.

"It's fine, I mean, I technically am a stranger to you guys and that last part is none of my business and I shouldn't judge you for that as a person." Someone that understands his pervy tendencies and is hot! Dandy actually doesn’t regret letting her stay now...

Before they can end this awkward back and forth conversation and calling it a night. Dandy forgot the crucial part of getting to know someone.

“By the way, I didn't catch your name?"