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theringers · 4 years ago

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heart of gold - chapter two / pg

a/n: hi y’all, sorry this was so delayed, i’ve been consumed by illicit affairs and other writing but here’s the second chapter

it’s more of an intro to andie but things will pick up soooon

warnings: alcohol mentions, story is 18+ and will be NSFW

Andie took a deep breath in and stood still, staring at her reflection in the elevator doors. This was weird for her. She wasn't supposed to be home yet. She thought about turning right around and staying with a friend for a few days while she figured things out, but she finally built up the courage to press the button.

She wasn't prepared for the look on her mother and father's faces when she walked out of the elevator and into the kitchen. They were probably having dinner right now and that was the prime location for forced conversation.

She spent the ride up to the penthouse breathing in slowly, and breathing out even slower. If she learned anything from her years of therapy, it was how to breathe properly when you're stressed. If you can't remember a single thing a therapist told you, at least you could remember to breathe.

It dinged at the top floor and the doors opened wide, her family's apartment looking just as perfect as it always did. Her dad immediately stood up from the table and walked to greet the guest. "Alexandra?" He asked, confused. He looked the same as when she left, but his black hair now had much more grey running through it. "I didn't expect you back until the end of the summer." She couldn't quite figure out his reaction. Was he disappointed that she was home? Especially after Andie had promised that she wouldn't be back to New York for a year at least.

"Arthur, who is at the door?" Andie's mom asked from the table, her posh accent making Andie smile.

Genevieve Keaton, the matriarch of the family, rose to fame in the 80s as a renowned fashion designer. She was always years ahead of trends. She started the trends. Regardless of how many people rolled their eyes at her in the beginning, she stuck with it and laughed at them when they showed up to a gala in one of her designs years later. Everyone knows you don't wear last year's designs and especially not designs from many years ago.

Andie always wanted to work in fashion. It was kind of a given with the Keaton name. But Andie was stubborn. She insisted that she do it herself. She didn't want anything she created to be attributed to her famous last name and she definitely didn't want her mother's help.

When the opportunity to apprentice alongside an incredible fashion designer landed at her feet, she said yes immediately. Not even realizing it was in Paris. What more could a 24-year-old want than to gallivant around Paris while learning what it takes to be a fashion designer. She could have done it at home in New York, in the comfort of her own living room even. It was time to start taking charge of her life and doing things for herself. And that meant not relying on her parents so much.

Genevieve and Arthur were not thrilled about the idea, but had no room to say no. Andie still lived at home with them, and she didn't mind, but she was almost 25. On her 25th birthday, she told her parents that the plane was going to be ready for her tomorrow morning and en route to Paris.

They were excited for her but would miss her. "I just need to figure out who I am outside of all of this," she would say. She needed to learn fashion techniques without her mother's bias and achieve great things without her help. She would be more than happy to offer it and take Andie under her wing, but again, she was stubborn. Andie wanted her independence.

"Hi, Dad," she smiled, stepping towards him and opening her arms for a hug. He embraced her and took a deep breath in, feeling relieved.

"It's so good to see you.”

"Alexandra?" Her mom asked as she walked into the foyer. She was dolled up in a radiant gold outfit,

with shoes to match. Andie expected nothing less of her mother. Her father was dressed up as well.

"Hi," she smiled and embraced her mother in a gentle hug, cautious of her outfit. There must be an event tonight. "Where are you two headed?"

"The annual fundraiser of course," Genevieve said. "Will you be joining?" She peered her head around Andie's body looking for signs of luggage. "How long are you visiting for?"

Andie sucked in a sharp breath. "I'm not visiting. I'm home for good." She paused and waited for her parents expression.

Arthur nodded, trying to understand. "I didn't realize it was such a short session."

"It's not. I couldn't do it anymore." The tears began to well in her eyes.

Genevieve welcomed her back with open arms as expected and squeezed her daughter tight. "We love you so much Alexandra. Now, go get ready for the charity event. We're leaving in an hour."

Andie laughed. "I am absolutely not attending that. I just got off a long flight from Paris and I need to see my friends." She pulled her phone out and sent a text to Kyle, letting her know she was home. Plans were made within five minutes and Andie started to unpack what was in her singular suitcase.

Pieces she had created in Paris were stuffed at the bottom of the suitcase in anger. She couldn't do it. And now she had a constant reminder in her closet. It was impossible to throw away all her hard work, so instead, she had the privilege of being reminded of her failures.

One of her favorite tops was a thick ivory fabric made to look like a corset. The material was reminiscent of her grandmother's table cloths but she was drawn to it. The floral pattern was just a bit more satin than the base and stood out just enough.

She put the shirt on and admired herself in the mirror. She could do this. It wasn't the end. She slid her jeans on but not without a few hops.

"Hello Miss Keaton," a knock sounded at the door followed by the Keaton's housekeeper Jane.

She smiled at Jane, missing her presence, and her helpfulness. "Hi Jane. Could you arrange a car downtown for me? To Python House."

"Of course Miss Keaton," she nodded and walked off. "So good to have you back."

Andie wasn't sure she could say the same.

The car pulled up in front of Python House and the line was around the block, even for a weekday. At least people besides her knew this was better than a charity event. She loved her life in society but she wasn't ready to answer any questions just yet.

As she took a seat at the bar, her phone dinged. So sorry A, held up at work. Will be a few mins late.

She scoffed and rolled her eyes, and she motioned for the bartender to come take her order.

#pierre gasly fanfic #pierre gasly fanficfion #pierre gasly blurb #pierre gasly smut #pierre gasly imagine #pierre gasly fic #f1 imagine #f1 smut #f1 blurb #f1 fanfic #pierre gasly x oc #f1 x oc

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jungledubs-archive · 4 years ago

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i made some incorrect quotes with buck and harvey (my hels cub and scar) and an incorrect quotes generator because i’m experiencing brainrot and here are my favourites:

Harvey: I learned some very valuable lessons from this. Buck: I’m guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should’ve taken away. Harvey: Death isn’t real, and I’m basically God.

Harvey: I can explain. Buck: Can you? Harvey: If you give me thirty seconds to think of a lie.

Harvey: Whaddya call a fish with no eye? Buck, not looking up: Myxine Circifrons Harvey: Harvey: fsh

Harvey: You fuckers don’t know about my knife stick. It’s a knife taped to a stick and it’s the ultimate weapon. Buck, not looking up from his book: Spear. Harvey: BLOCKED.

Harvey: Am I in trouble? Buck: Take a guess. Harvey: No? Buck: Take another guess.

Harvey: Okay, help me please! Buck: Got two words for you. Harvey: I bet they won't be helpful. Buck: Your problem. Harvey: I was right

Harvey, watching the news: Someone tried to fight a squid at the aquarium today! Buck: *walks in covered with ink* Well, maybe the squid was being a dick.

Harvey: I was arrested for being too cool. Buck: The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence.

Harvey: God, give me patience. Buck: I think you mean 'give me strength'. Harvey: If God gave me strength, you'd be dead.

Harvey: You're right. Buck: That's... That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?

Harvey: Where are you going? Buck: To get ice cream or commit a felony, I’ll decide on the way there

Harvey: Top 30 reasons why Harvey is sorry... Number 5 will surprise you! Buck: Top 30 anime deaths. Number One: YOUR FUCKING ASS RIGHT NOW!!!

Harvey: I actually have a black belt. Buck: In what, karate? Harvey: No, from Gucci.

and then some featuring trip (hels bdubs) as well

Harvey: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it. Buck: Harvey no. Trip: Mistlefoe. Buck: Please stop encouraging him.

Harvey: What's a word thats a mix between 'sad' and 'mad'? Buck: Disgruntled, miserable, desolated- Trip: Smad.

Harvey: Who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth? Buck: You’re a hazard to society Trip: And a coward. DO TWENTY.

Harvey: Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life Buck: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind? Harvey: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die. Trip: edible

Harvey: So, what, now I’m just supposed to do anything that Buck does? I mean, what if they jumped off a cliff? Trip: If Buck were to jump off a cliff, they would’ve done their due diligence regarding the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry, so yes. If you see Buck jump off a cliff, by all means, jump off a cliff. Harvey: You jump off a cliff! Trip: Gladly. Provided Buck did first.

Harvey: I really like this whole ‘good guy, bad guy’ thing you guys have going on. Buck: It’s not an act, it’s just that I’m mean and Trip isn’t

Harvey: Please bring home PURIFIED water with NO minerals added for taste Buck: We got spring water Harvey: NO. Trip: with EXTRA minerals Buck: it's like licking a stalagmite Harvey: DON'T COME HOME. Trip: Mmmmm cave water

Harvey: Would you stab your best friend in the leg for 10 million diamonds? Buck: You stab me, and then when my leg gets better, we buy a big-ass house. Trip: You can stab me too, then we'll have 20 million. Buck: Good thinking.

Harvey, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him Buck: You did WHAT– Trip: William Snakepeare

Harvey: HELP! I TOLD TRIP I’D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN’T COOK! Buck, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?

Harvey: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Buck? Buck: … No. Trip: I do! Harvey: I know, Trip. Trip: I’m sad! Harvey: I know, Trip.

#harvey badtimes #badtimeswithscar #clay speaks #btripleo100 #buckfan135 #long post #evil hermits #helscraft #hermitcraft

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liaswritesrobots · 4 years ago

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Wonder if you can do a transformers prime or G1 matchup for me (I don't mind which one) and id prefer a Decepticon matchup, but autobot is fine. I do not mind the gender of the bot/con.

I go by they/he mostly. I wear usually androgynous or masculine clothing. I usually am an outsider in school and don't talk to other students. I want to become a ball python breeder and want more sneks to take care of. I have considered being a herpetologist. I like colder seasons since I like to cover up.

I like other reptiles too. I like math and science. I love sneks and I like to draw them (I am a digital artist)!I also like to just scroll on social media. I like surreal, dark, and edgy humor, a lot of twisted humor gets me to laugh. I like listening (mainly) to rock music.

I am sensitive to loud sounds and I can't really focus sometimes. I dislike certain cheese, young children, English, history, P.E., other people (especially working with them), the sun's UV rays, school, hot weather, feminine clothing, I especially hate being touched by strangers, if not hate, it might be fear. (if you earn my trust, i can allow you to hug me and cuddle me).

I am quiet and snarky at first, but I become better when I warm up and the snarks get more passive. I can be trusted with important secrets because I will take that to the grave. I am stubborn, a bit rigid, I can't handle people acting like babies, I am a bit independent. I got some mild to moderate mood swings. I can't handle people making fun of me, I have a quiet voice (not when I yell, my yelling is VERY loud), I am sympathetic and can be a bit kind, I socially isolate from others, and can be a bit controlling. I am also short tempered. I have some trust issues. I am also heard that I am really funny. I can also throw a sandal very hard at people that piss me off. I care lot what other people think of me, and do get suspicious when people are whispering around me. I have a fairly strategic mind. I value honesty over kindness. If you want more of my personality, please let me know.

I match you with...

Soundwave!

He doesn't mind that you're quiet and he finds your snark amusing, especially against Starscream. He also doesn't mind if you don't want to be touched at first, he's not a very touchy bot so it's fine, however once you warm up to him and do let him touch you he feels honored and will let you hang out on his shoulder. He likes learning about reptiles from you and thinks your passion for snakes is cute. He also loves seeing your art and thinks the snakes you draw are pretty. He likes your sense of humor too, he doesn't make many sounds but he will use a laughing emoji or a prerecorded laugh when you say something funny. He likes the music you play too and knows which radio stations to tune into when you come over. He likes how good you are with secrets, so much so that he'll occasionally use his real voice to talk to you. He doesn't mind the temper or trust issues either being a Decepticon, but he does let you know that he trusts you in hopes that you'll come to trust him too. He knows it can get loud on the Nemesis so he tries to keep you close so he can just bridge the two you away from all the noise. He does get amusement out of seeing you throw sandals at the other cons, and they never retaliate because he stands behind you with his arms crossed the whole time. He does get concerned when you isolate and will check in on you. He likes you're stubbornness and kindness both, as well as you being independent, he likes that you know how to take care of yourself. He makes a mental note of the things you don't like and tries to keep them away from you.

Other Possible Matches: Shockwave, Starscream, Predaking, Knock Out

#transformers matchups #matchups #transformers match ups #match ups #tf match ups #tf matchups #Soundwave #asks #realsharky #long post

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wrathfulmercy · 4 years ago

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“ i wouldn't tell you this if it wasn't important. “ (police)

Sacred romantic moments from here

“I know. I know. Fuck.” Of course he knew, but he wished he wouldn’t know she’s right cause that meant he wasn’t cautious enough. Suddenly everything felt like crashing around them. Everything they built over the last months, everything they worked on and which seemed so perfect threatened to fall apart and Rick hated when he was losing control. For the first time it felt like everything slipped out of his fingers, like a shadow he couldn’t grab that would swallow them both.

Of course he knew by now that Mason was special. That people were after her. That their first meeting wasn’t a pure coincidence but because her power had saved her life. All the time Rick wanted to believe he was her protector, that he saved her that night and could keep her safe when she was probably capable of everything on her own. Still they somehow came this far, decided to stick together and let their walls fall for each other. Rick didn’t only learn about her powers but Mason knew about his failed marriage and that work felt like the only thing he had left. Now they had each other and it had been silent for a while during their time on the road, but now back at his place she started to look more paranoid and obviously her fears now came true, even if Rick always hoped for the opposite.

Damn he didn’t know enough about the guys being after her. He didn’t even understand enough about her world or so it seemed and now he should accept he overestimated himself in protecting her? No he would never admit that. Even if he was a simple human, he would rather die for her than giving up her company. “Listen, you gotta tell me everything we need to know for precautions. I can…”

“Rick.” Masons voice interrupted his thoughts and she grabbed his hands to make him stop fiddling with anything on the counter as if they were on the run. “You don’t have to do that. I don’t wanna drag you into this. I can take care of myself. You don’t have to protect me. I just wanted you to know.” At least that was a step forward, that she didn’t disappear randomly anymore but warned him. Still she was her stubborn self thinking he would let go now.

Stubborn as ever. Brave as he knew her. It didn’t surprise him how she reacted but they were in this together, even if she didn’t want to speak it out loud. He wouldn’t let her go. For nothing. Instead he shook his head and wrapped one of his hands around both of hers to cup her cheek with his freed one. “No. I will not let you go through this alone, we’re in this together if you like it or not. I made you a promise and I keep my word. Shit Maze, you know…” His voice was shaking and the big lump in his throat stopped him from talking until he was able to shake it off and looked down at their hands. “You know I love you. I am… your shield. And I will be your gun, whenever you need me.” His hand let go of her to shove his jacket back and reveal his python before leading her hand to the heavy colt. “I’m with you. Never will I lose you again. And I’m glad you told me. So…“ After all this was a sign of trust from her cause finally she didn’t try to cover everything up anymore but warned him of the early signs she noticed. She trusted him and therefore she deserved all of his trust in return. “Tell me what we gotta do and I’ll follow your lead.”

@smokinmirrors

#Mason x Rick #answered meme

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danetobelieve · 5 years ago

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Out Of Ctrl || Shiloh and Winston

Winston hadn’t taught anyone about coding in several years. They loved teaching other people, explaining things to them and helping them understand what they could do with this newfound knowledge was fascinating to them. The prospects of what could come from something like that were beyond interesting and when they had agreed that they were going to teach Shiloh, they hadn’t really been joking. So when they had agreed to do this, Winston had immediately begun working on what they could show Shiloh. They had decided that they were going to teach them some basics within Python, it was a nice good language to start with and it would give their new friend the right sort of introduction that they would’ve wanted. They had asked Shiloh to meet them within the computer labs. It had all of the suites that they would need and it had all of the resources. When Shiloh arrived outside of the door, they ran over to it and pulled it open, pulling their glasses up their nose and grinning at them. For once they felt really confident, this was where they were really in their element. “Hey, Shiloh right?” they said, grinning widely.

Shiloh was interested in learning something new and coding had interested her at one point. However, she felt she didn’t have an opportunity to fully explore it so she never tried to. So when Winston suggested helping her, she was excited but wasn’t sure exactly if they had meant it. But once they made plans to do it, she was actually looking forward to it. It was gonna be nice, she knew it. Even if she struggled, she was going to enjoy spending time learning something at her own pace and not dealing with the rest of the confusing things she’d encountered some time ago. With a smile, she entered the building and headed to the computer labs; it had been a while since she came into the university building, but being on their alumni association, she still had her access. She gave a small wave through the door, entering when Winston opened it for her. “Yeah, that’s me. Winston? Hey.” She greeted him as she came inside. “I wasn’t really sure if I was supposed to bring anything but I brought a notebook.” Surely, she’d have to write some things down. Either way, she had it just in case it became necessary.

Nodding, Winston held the door open for them and followed them inside. It was not late in the day but the room would’ve seem dim if not for the fluorescent lights that flickered overhead. Not Winston’s favourite part of the room, sometimes they worked in the dark, but it seemed rude to do so on their first time meeting someone, not to say creepy if nothing else. “Nice to meet you,” they said with a bright smile and a quick nod, “you can definitely write notes if you think it will help you, you could even like type them up and then email them to yourself later,” they led them over to where they’d been sat before. “You can use one of these if you want, cause, it’s probably easier to just show you and get you going straight away rather then like … uh I guess like have you watch?” They shrugged. “Honestly, whatever works best we can do, but I learn better by getting involved so I thought you might too.” They didn’t have a stop button to their mouth sometimes and Winston honestly regretted it.

“Oh, good point.” Maybe typing them out would help Shiloh better than writing them down. She turned her attention back to the computers, opting for one of the ones close to her. “We can do both? You can show me and I can try and do it myself. I do learn better getting involved though, I know that much.” She chuckled as she set her notebook aside, pushing her chair aside so she could sit at an angle and half face Winston and her computer. It didn’t take that many years of school for her to figure out what was the best method for her to learn. Yet, it definitely wasn’t figured out soon enough where she didn’t know what it was like to struggle. “So where should we start first?”

“Honestly, whatever is going to help you to learn this stuff the best is what you should go with,” Winston replied with a shrug, “I am happy to help however, but we can get stuck in and see if we want to make any adjustments. Please feel free to stop me and ask me anything if you need to, I can also go slowly or go back over anything that is confusing but I’m sure you’ll get it very quickly.” Winston opened up the coding suite and looked at the blank black screen with a single flashing white dot on it. “So this is just your coding suite, coding is super easy, all you’ve got to remember is that the computer is clever but incredibly stubborn, it will only do what you tell it to do, so if it is not doing what you want then that’s usually because you’re not telling it to do what you want.” They paused before typing out a quick series of commands. “This is a very simple line of code, all we’re getting the computer to do is print a bunch of text.” They pressed a button on the keyboard and the line of text, “Hello, my name is Winston.” Appeared on the screen. “Now you try … all you have to do is put the print command in and then type out what you want to say…”

Shiloh watched as they opened the coding suite, watching what they did more than listening. Which wasn’t a good thing but it was a bad habit she’d never been able to break from school. However, it seemed simple enough. She knew she could do this. “Okay, so I do this,” She glanced over at Winston, making sure they had their eyes on her screen to make sure to point out something that she might be doing wrong. As she pressed a button, the line of text didn’t come out like theirs. “Oh, man,” she chuckled at her mistake. “I guess I missed something?” She looked over at Winston, hoping they had caught what she had messed up on. They did say that if it messed up it was that you hadn’t correctly told it what to do. Maybe she missed a bracket?

Smiling gently, Winston shrugged. “It’s cool, don’t worry too much about it, like anything else you can make mistakes and learn from them. This is just another one of those things.” They looked at their screen for a moment before showing them how to reset it. “Just check through your code compared to mine, see if you can spot anything that is different from what I’ve got.” They clicked back to their original code before they heard a scuffle. Raising an eyebrow, they turned in their chair, a hand reaching up and adjusting their glasses so that they sat more comfortably on their face. “Did you hear something?” they asked, a gentle shiver of nerves running down their spine.

Shiloh leaned over, trying to figure out what she had gotten wrong. It was a bit tedious, looking at everything and making sure it matched. Already she felt like she was going to have a tough time with this. Shiloh softly muttered to herself, trying to keep focused. However, she finally managed to see what she had gotten wrong. She moved to her screen to fix it when she heard something and picked her head up. “Yeah, I heard it.” What could it have been. “Might have been a rat or something.” Gross to think about there being rats in the university, but it wouldn’t be the worst thing. She returned to her screen, pressing a button and seeing that her line of text came out just like Winston’s. “Hey, look, I did it!” She exclaimed, leaning back into her seat.

Coding could often be tedious. Winston had spent far too much time writing out coding processes by hand to try and work out what the hell was going wrong and understand whether they were asking for the coding processes to be completed in the correct order. But in this moment Winston wasn’t particularly concerned with Shiloh’s coding. Looking around them once more, they were convinced by the lack of any further commotion that this really wasn’t something that they were going to have to deal with or should worry about. “That’s gross if it is rats…” Winston replied with a frown, “I’ll tell someone who looks after the cleaning and stuff and maybe they can look into it.” They grinned as Shiloh managed to complete her task. “Hey, second time lucky! Good job. You’ve officially written your first computer program and can now call yourself a computer programmer.”

Shiloh chuckled, not believing they were serious. “I don’t know if I’d call myself a computer programmer just yet.” She hardly knew what was going on and was just trying her hand at it to begin with. But it did give her a great confidence boost. “But thanks.” She was about to ask Winston where they’d move to next but then heard the same sound again. “The rats sound kind of heavy.” Big. Either it was a lot of them or a big one and for some reason she felt like it was neither of the two. She pushed back on her seat, trying to figure out where the noise came from and waiting to hear it again. She was quick to brush it off once but for some reason something was telling her not to do it again.

“But you literally just wrote a computer program, so by the definition of the activity you’re now one of us.” Winston replied with a grin. “You’re welcome, are you ready to try something new …” they trailed off as Shiloh mentioned the rats. “Yeah, seems kind of weird that they would let rats into this place at all and not exterminate them, it must be expensive if they chew through the wires. As Shiloh moved back in her seat, Winston took it a step further and stood. Looking around, wondering if this was some kind of prank that their friend Todd had come up with. “Hey, is someone … there?” they swallowed as they felt a chill run down their spine, hoping and praying that this was really just a prank and not something else.

Shiloh watched as Winston stood up. She didn’t believe that it was anything to be worried about. It probably was just rats. Really big ones but the fact that Winston called out as if it had the potential to be someone else in this computer lab… it made Shiloh stand up too. If someone were here they’d have to have been crouched down and for a while too since she didn’t hear anyone or see anyone when she came in and didn’t hear or see anyone else since. Just then another noise and a chair from a table on the other end of the room rolled back with some force behind it. “Okay…” Shiloh moved back. She wasn’t really wanting to be caught in some supernatural nonsense. “Maybe we should just get out of here?” Shiloh suggested and just then caught the sound of a shut door. She pursed her lips trying to think of a logical reason for all this. The wind? It’s possible. Right? Another scuffling sound reached Shiloh’s ears and she turned to where she heard it and wished she hadn’t. A thin, small but so very thin creature came out from under the table. “Oh man.” What the hell is that?

As a mottled set of fingers reached around the edge of the table, Winston couldn’t help but swallow apprehensively as the knuckles clicked gently against the table. Pulling itself out from underneath the table. At the end of its fingers were a set of long dirty finger nails, that looked almost claw like and in that moment Winston decided that this definitely was not something mundane. This was not a prank. This was just some more White Crest bullshit that they were now going to have to deal with. “I think you’re right,” Winston replied taking a step backwards and quickly grabbing their bag and laptop as they backed away from the … thing. “I don’t know what that is but I don’t want to find out.” They weren’t sure why, but they tried to keep themselves between Shiloh and whatever this was. “Do you think we should run?”

“Yeah, let’s get out of here.” But to where? And did they really want to get chased by that? Shiloh had no clue how fast it was. No clue what it could do. All she knew was that she was defenseless in a small enclosed room. She tried to get a better look but Winston came in front of her. Could they do something she didn’t know of? “Where do we go?” She asked Winston, hoping they knew something she didn’t. They didn’t know what that was though which meant they didn’t know what it was capable of. And that was frightening enough for Shiloh. What did it want? Would they have to kill it?

“Yep,” Winston was not about to argue with what they saw as a good thing, “getting out of here sounds like a really good idea.” They took several small steps backwards, trying to calm themselves and focus on the inner peace that they had been told that they needed to access to access their magic. But their heart was pounding, their head filled with blood and they forced themselves to take some calming breaths. “I don’t know where we go,” Winston admitted as they pulled their rucksack slowly onto their back, creeping backwards towards the door hoping that they weren’t going to startle whatever the hell this was, “I just know that the sooner I get out of here the better.”

“Okay,” Shiloh agreed, slowly moving back. “On a count of three we both make a run for the door okay?” She waited for their confirmation, not wanting to jump to the countdown. She couldn’t really see it as they kept between her and the creature. It seemed like a bold move for someone that didn’t know what it was but they didn’t seem too surprised by it so they must be at the very least aware of the supernatural. “One,” she began to countdown, still slowly moving away from the monster, not wanting to make any sudden moves just yet. “Two.” Almost there. Shiloh could feel her heart begin to race now that they would soon be making a run for the door. “Three!” She spoke loud enough for Winston to hear and she started to bolt to the exit.

Winston honestly wished that they had said on a count to one, they felt like their legs might just moving at any moment. “Sure, on three.” Winston agreed as they tried to take a step back, they wanted Shiloh to be able to keep track of the monster too just in case it somehow made it past them. Honestly in that moment they weren’t sure why they were putting themselves in danger. They just wanted to make sure no one got hurt. Ironically they were at the top of the list of people they didn’t want to be hurt here. As Shiloh began her count down, Winston could feel their entire body itching as they prayed that they would get away safely. “Oh fuck,” they yelped as Shiloh hurtled towards the door just behind Shiloh, they were nearly there, they were maybe feet away when they felt a felt sharp claws rake their one of their ankles and they tumbled to the ground.

They were almost on their way to freedom when Shiloh heard Winston fall behind her. “Oh no,” Shiloh cried and turned around to try and help Winston up. “Are you okay?” She turned her attention to them, wondering what they tripped over. “What happened?” Either way she tried to help them up, knowing they needed to get out of there. She only hoped they didn’t twist their ankle or any other immobilizing injury. Not that she’d leave them behind but it was a lot harder to run from something when you couldn’t run.

For a moment, Winston was sure that as Shiloh helped them up that they would be able to just stand. They couldn’t feel the pain just yet, but their ankle was strangely wet and as they tried to stand they felt their ankle buckle and had to lean heavily on a desk. “I’m not okay,” they affirmed as they felt blood pour into their trouser, “I think whatever the fuck that was scratched me and it must’ve cut me because I can’t really put any weight on it.” They winced and looked for whatever it was that had done this, but they weren’t able to spot it. “We should try and get out,” they said, wincing as they took a squelching step forward, their shoe filling with blood.

Everything would be fine, Shiloh was sure of it and as she managed to get Winston back on their feet, her hope returned. Then it was gone again once Winston almost collapsed. “Whoa,” she muttered, trying to look down at his foot to see if she can see any damage and then she saw it - blood. Oh that’s not good. She looked back at Winston. “I can help you, just lean on me okay?” Shiloh hoped she was reassuring to them, putting their arm over her shoulder and gripping their side. It was a moment like this that she appreciated the time spent at the gym. “We can do this together,” she encouraged them, not feeling much of a weight on her, hoping that Winston wasn’t holding back.

They weren’t too proud to accept help, Winston wrapped an arm gratefully around Shiloh and wished that they had done more reading about healing magic. But despite all of that, Winston wasn’t about to focus on their regrets now. “Thanks, I don’t know what the hell that is but we should definitely get out of here,” they took a shuddering step forward, leaning fully on Shiloh as they heard scrabbling around them, “I need you to set the pace, I can force myself to keep up but if you let me choose how quick we go then we’lll never get out of here.” They fiddled with the strap of their bag over their shoulder and winced. “We definitely need to get out of here too.”

“Okay,” Shiloh understood their reasoning. It was a little awkward with the height difference but all Shiloh needed was to be given the okay. She picked up her step, keeping a firm grip on Winston’s side, not wanting to look back, she didn’t need it to distract her. She focused on getting out the door. She could pick up the sound of whatever it was behind them and with just that she could tell it was closing in on them. She didn’t waste any time, as soon as they cleared that doorway, she turned, placed one foot down and gave the door a kick with her heel, sending it back with a slam. She heard it make contact with something but ultimately shut. It wasn’t long before there was banging on the door. “Come on, let’s get out, I don’t want to wait to see if that door can hold it.” Or if it could open the door.

This wasn’t how Winston had imagined this going and this might be the last time that they offered to teach someone something. Why was it that whenever they tried to do a good thing for people they got shot down all but immediately by the universe choosing to throw some other form of supernatural bullshit their way. Sweat poured down their neck and soaked into the collar of their shirt. As soon as they were out of the door, Shiloh kicked it slamming shut behind them. There was a crunch as whatever it was slammed into it, and then continued colliding with it over and over again. “I agree,” they turned and looked at the lock, they could try and do some magic but right now they didn’t think they could do it without passing out, “thanks for this,” they stammered as their breath grew ragged, “sorry that your first time learning to code has been interrupted by what looks like some sort of rage monkey.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Shiloh gently responded as she remained focused on getting both of them out of there. Winston surprisingly wasn’t much of a weight to carry, it didn’t take long for Shiloh to get used to it and move at a quick pace. However, she could hear their breathing and while her breathing remained even, she knew theirs wasn’t because they couldn’t keep up. “Do you want me to take you to the hospital?” Shiloh asked, wondering just how much blood they were losing. She didn’t even want to look back and see. It was better to keep moving to the parking lot.

Doing their breath to catch their breath, Winston wiped the back of their palm across their forehead, a cascade of sweat sloughing away as they did so. “Uh, I think that it might be a good idea if you did take me to the hospital,” they said before they heard scuffling and spotted the little goblin thing again. It’s claws were dripping with blood. Winston’s blood. The thought alone made them want to be sick but they steeled themselves, “fuck, we should keep going,” they muttered as the thing scuttled after them, gaining ground in the corridors of the university, blood trailing from both Winston and their pursuer.

“Okay,” Shiloh responded, keeping calm. If they needed to go to the hospital she’d take them there. Her ears picked up the familiar sound and she glanced back, seeing it coming towards them. Shiloh quickly thought of something. “Sorry about this, Winston,” she tried to be as unoffensive as she could possibly be but this was turning into a life or death situation. She wasted no time to scoop Winston up and started running. Maybe it was the rush of the situation but Winston didn’t seem as heavy as she would have thought they’d be, carrying a grown person and all. Either way, she didn’t let that cloud her priorities. They needed to get out of there now. “Is it still behind us?” She asked as she finally made it outside, but not stopping to look as she remembered where she parked, coming closer to her car.

Being swept off of their feet like a damsel in distress was something that Winston could get used to. “What the-” they managed to exclaim before Shiloh had doubled the speed that they were going. Winston was left with no choice but to cling awkwardly to her neck and pray that she didn’t drop them. Yet despite all of that, her grip seemed firm and strong and Winston knew better then to question someone who was in the midst of saving them from a little gremlin that seemed intent on attacking them. “I --” Winston squinted through their glasses which had fallen somewhat lopsided on their face, “I can’t see them,” they replied as they arrived at the car park, “you’re really really fucking strong, thank you, I honestly don’t know if I’d have gotten away without you.” They leaned against a car, pulling their hoodie off and wrapping it around their leg in a poor attempt to stem the bleeding.

Shiloh finally let herself relax when Winston said the coast was clear. She sighed as she gently set them down, mindful of their leg. “It’s a good thing we were together then.” Shiloh wasn't sure how she would react if she came across something supernatural herself. She was grateful pretty much all her supernatural experiences were with someone else with her. She was thankful all her time at the gym had been worth it. Although she was positive some adrenaline had something to do with lifting Winston so easily. “My car’s just over there,” just a few cars away. She pulled her keys out and started to unlock it, the headlights blinking for a moment. She put her keys back in her pockets, ready for them to keep going. “Let’s go.” She took their arm over her shoulder again and walked to her car, opening it up and helping Winston in. She gently shut the door behind them and went into the front seat. The last thing on her mind was blood on her car seats, she was worried about Winston’s safety more. “Alright we’ll be there in a few minutes okay?” She glanced over at them before beginning to drive off.

#p: shiloh #para #wickedswriting #out of ctrl

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jamiescallion · 5 years ago

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AMERICAN ANIMAL - (January Recap)

Chapter One

Mr Rawling Rump the Rhinoceros, of Austin Zoo, Texas, plunged his large snout into the cool mud and shut his beady black eyes. Rump, as most knew him, let the sludge cool his horn and daydreamed about the coming celebrations. He was excited. The weather had been stifling of late and the party was exactly what the animals needed.

Rump was the oldest mammal in the zoo. His advanced years hadn’t meant he’d learnt humility. Far from it. He was a proud beast who thought a lot of himself, and he wasn’t shy in sharing that around. His enormous enclosure: Rump Ranch, was named by Rump’s father Big Red Rump, and because of its location, next to the entrance, it was considered prime real estate. This made Rump a very important beast indeed. His father Big Red Rump would say:

“You’re a top mammal, son, and you must act like it. The Lion, Tiger, Elephant, Giraffe, Snake, Wolf, Monkey, Gorilla and Bear can afford to mess up. You can’t, the scrutiny is too great.”

Rump had been excited about tonight's chow down for weeks. It was an opportunity to see all of his supporters and also an opportunity for him to gloat. Just one week ago he’d won a triumphant victory over the ruling Big Cats. Rump had repeatedly insisted that President Zanzibar should provide conclusive proof he is an American Animal. Born in an American zoo. Zanzibar eventually relented and Old Baldy, the American Bald Eagle in charge of History and Births, confirm that Zanzibar was indeed born in an American Zoo, although not in Austin zoo. Rump considered the confirmation a victory and took great pleasure in letting his fellow creatures know. Rump’s swaggering self-satisfaction would soon sour.

Rump pulled his horn out of the sludge, climbed on top of Rump Rock, tipped back his head and let loose a thunderous bellow. Simon the snake slunk into the ranch. Simon, a python, was not very long for a python but he was certainly a python. His silvery scales blotched with oblongs of butterscotch yellow, ringed by lines of burnt orange.

Rump and Simon stalked and slid up the shallow slope to the Big Cat enclosure, where tonight’s stomp would take place. Under the giant arches, they went and into the vast and beautifully maintained Palace. Rump nodded cordially in return to those that greeted him. He took his place next to Senator Elena Forde’s enclosure. Elena, a sleek snow Leopard, nodded coldly toward Rump. They’d been friendly once but things had curdled since Rump had attacked her party leader. President Zanzibar, the Lion, climbed onto the speaking slab and addressed the crowd of gathered animals. Rump gazed up at the leader with barely masked disdain.

President Zanzibar looked down and smiled. “It is wonderful to be here with you at the chow down. As you will have heard Old Baldy released my official origin story and I am officially an American Animal. I was born in America!” The animals snorted in support around Rump. Zanzibar smiled more broadly now. “I hope it puts the doubts to rest but in case there is still any uncertainty, Old Baldy said he will give Mr Rawling Rump a blow by blow campfire retelling of my birth story. He’s called it out of Africa.” The animals laughed with great enthusiasm and Rump felt consumed with humiliation. His horn hot with embarrassment.

Zanzibar put up his paw to quell the laughter. “I should add that my mother was not African. She was born in New York Zoo…” Zanzibar now gazed openly at Rump. “Is New York okay or do I need to get Old Baldy to confirm my mother’s origin story too?” Rump’s eyes watered in shock, feeling the crowds communal stare upon him he attempted to smile back with casual grace. As if he’d been in on the joke. Only an awkward grimace was raised. Which only served to stoke the fire of mirth. President Zanzibar called for the stomp to begin and the animals, in unison, began to thud the ground with hooves and paws, trotters and claws. Rump turned to see Simon beating his diamond-shaped head against the ground with concentrated and joyous enthusiasm. Rump gave the snake a contemptuous glance and made his way out of the palace, through the entranced and stomping animals. He trudged back down the hill to Rump Ranch. With every step the rhinoceros’ fury grew, his stubborn will bent on revenge.

Chapter Two

Rump spent three weeks plotting. June ushered in a ferocious temperature and with it a resolve to get revenge done. The rhino climbed onto Rump Rock, tipped back his enormous head and roared. Simon slithered into the enclosure in record time. “Simon, I want you to gather all the animals together and tell them to come to Rump Ranch.” “Of coursssssse,” Simon hissed. “May I enquire as to what we will be discussing?” he said gazing up at the rhino with a colourless smile.

Rump snorted through bucket-sized nostrils and the python wished for eyelids. "This zoo is not great, not great at all. The zoo in Houston and the one in San Antonio are way better, way way better. Which is just terrible. Now go gather the other animals. I’m going to make some changes around here."

“Of courssssse?” said the snake. “But how do you know?" "Old Baldy told me,” Rump said impatiently.

“He wouldn’t lie to me. He’s a true American Animal." Old Baldy, the American bald eagle, visited zoos all over the state. Animals gathered around the ‘news tree’ most nights to hear Old Baldy broadcast the truth. Simon had not heard the claims their zoo was inferior to others but that didn’t mean it wasn’t true.

"President Zanzibar will surely do something," said the snake.

Rump shook his gnarled head, his yellow straw wig flapping, his beady black eyes rolling and his red necktie swinging.

"That pampered lion won't do a damn thing about a damn thing. He isn’t even a true American Animal. You heard him say his mother was African. He admitted it. How can he be our President if he wasn’t even born in an American zoo?"

“But Old Baldy said he was an American Animal.”

“Do you believe everything you hear?” said Rump.

Simon thought about this. Something deep in his slippery stomach told him Old Baldy had confirmed Zanzibar was an American Animal but perhaps he had it wrong. Did he believe everything he heard? Perhaps he did! One thing was for certain, Rump had never ever lied to him.

“Your right of course,” Simon said. “I will gather the animals. Although I’m not sure the Big Cats will come.” Rump settled the snake a beady glare.

“Tell them exactly what I say. Tell them I am going to clean this crooked zoo up and make it great again. Tell them I’m starting with the big furry hairballs in the White Palace. I’m going to cough them up and use them as earmuffs.”

Simon didn’t understand but nodded all the same. He knew Rump was talking about the ruling big cats but he didn’t know what a hairball was. As he slithered up the hill to deliver the message his thoughts turned to food. Most specifically, lunch.

The reptiles arrived first: Mike the lizard, Toby the toad, Gordon the gecko, Linda the turtle, Eric the skink, Charlie the chameleon and Crazy Tom the one-eyed crocodile, all settled down in the soft brown earth in front of Rump Rock and chattered excitedly as they waited for the great horn (as they called Him) to speak. Rump gave his loyal supporters an exaggerated wink, the enthusiastic reptiles grinned and all winked back. Apart from Tom, the crazy one-eyed crocodile, because a crazy one-eyed crocodile can’t wink.

Next to arrive was the sleek snow leopard, Senator Elena Forde. A senior member of Zanzibar’s administration and the Big Cat Patriot Party, she sashayed into the ranch with what Rump dubbed “arrogant cat syndrome”. Senator Forde climbed the leafy sweetgum tree that stood at the centre of Rump Ranch, stretched her limbs over a thick branch and began to preen her paws. She regarded Rump lazily and said: "What are you going to moan about this week?"

Before Rump could respond with nuclear indignation the heritage mammals ambled through the gates and into the enclosure. Joshua the giraffe, Gaga the albino chimpanzee, Jape the gorilla, Lenny the gazelle, Zee the zebra, Sally the hippo and Archer the toothless baboon. Trailing after them, like a vast grey cloud, plodded, Jacob the African elephant. A kindly and steadfast beast. Jacob was one of President Zanzibar’s most trusted supporters and a well-respected member of the zoos community. He was not known for his quick wit but was universally liked for his honesty, affability and tireless work ethic.

The heritage mammals supported the president with dutiful deference, Jacob going further with a belief that Zanzibar possessed almost godlike powers. The heritage mammals had always aligned themselves with the big cats. Since the dawn of zoos.

After the mammals, came the natives: Butch bear, Woody elk, Hank wolf, Buzz coyote, Rocky raccoon, Henrietta red fox, and Ace the three-legged bison. Rump loved the natives because in many ways he wanted to be one, and the natives loved him back because in many ways they thought he was one of them.

Old Baldy glided into Rump Ranch and landed gracefully on a branch high up in the leafless sweetgum. His friends from the menagerie had already taken up lower positions in the tree. Eric weaver, Sarah parrot, Dodger cockatoo and Reginald falcon were all thinking the same thing: if only the other animals could gain their elevated perspective, they might grasp how ridiculous Rump was, and not hang off his every pompous word.

Next came the rodents. Rump had long labelled them “aliens” because they’d arrived at the zoo from other countries, many of them illegally, or so the rhino claimed. Mohammed meerkat, Zoya mongoose, Ali otter, Baba porcupine, and Jose the Mexican rat. Strictly Jose was a Mexican sereque but only his fellow aliens bothered to learn the distinction. The rodents hung back, near the exit, unsettled and nervous. Ever watchful.

Finally, President Zanzibar wandered through the gates of Rump Ranch, his big cat cabinet marching in behind him. Seven senators: tiger, leopard, panther, jaguar, cougar, puma and cheetah. All lived and worked with the President at The White Palace.

Zanzibar moved through the crowd greeting creatures with an easy smile, the animals beamed back in delight. Only when Zanzibar was sitting on his hind legs, his lustrous golden mane angled upward toward Rump, did the rhino begin his speech…

The lion turned and gave the audience a warm smile and then turned back and looked up at Rump.

“Are we not all aliens in our own way?” His commanding voice silencing the commotion.

“My parents came to New York zoo from Tanzania many years ago. I am a first-generation lion. Does this make me any less of an American animal?”

The big cats and mammals roared in support. Rump shook his horn and looked out toward the assembled crowd.

“You’ve ruined this zoo with your woke snowflakery, Zanzibar. For eight years we have suffered at the paws of your administration. Whilst only the elite or the lowly are cared for. What about the animals in the middle? Enough is enough. We need change. I will do a better job than you. We must make this zoo great again. Do you accept my challenge?”

The gathering of animals roared, snapped, yelped and hissed. Some were noises of support, some of opposition, but all agreed that this was an audacious challenge. Zanzibar had never been opposed before, not even by another big cat, let alone a rhinoceros wearing a straw wig.

After a thoughtful pause, President Zanzibar raised his mane and addressed the gathering.

“It is Mr Rump’s right to challenge me.” He turned his flecked auburn eyes on the rhino. “But I will not stand against you. Another will take my place.” He nodded toward the Leopard lounging in the tree. “I choose Senator Elena Forde to run against you in my stead.”

A clamour of surprise and excitement erupted from the crowd. For the first time in almost a decade there would be an election and on the ballot paper a rhinoceros. Rump let out a high-pitched squeal, a noise that male rhinos are well known for, but try to avoid emitting because they think it’s emasculating. Rump pulled himself together, puffed out his cheeks and thought it through. It was unlikely he would win, the big cat elite was too powerful, their supremacy stretched too far back. However, he was in the race and anything can happen when you’re in the race. Then it came to him, a revelation. He wasn’t a big cat and as such he didn’t need to play by their big cat rules. He cleared his throat and began his acceptance speech.

“I accept any challenge set before me,” Rump began. “and I will fight, fight, fight to expose the lies and corruption the big cat elite have committed for so many years. But, you know what’s more important than anything?” he paused to rear up on his hind legs, delighting the reptiles at the front. “Unity! And you know what I love about it?” Continued Rump. “Unity is love, I’m in love with myself, I’m in love with all of you and I’m sure as hell in love with this zoo. And I don’t just love the animals that already support me, I love the animals that have cat yolk in their eyes. Yeh, that’s right, I’m in love with you because I know you love me right back. Deep down, even if you don’t know it yet. We’re all in love together because we all have one thing in common,” he paused again, glancing toward the exit where the rodents stood nervously watching. “Well, not all of us…and do you know what that thing we have in common is?” he bellowed.

Rump waited a beat and then thundered his final line with slow and purposeful intent. “WE ARE ALL… AMERICAN ANIMALS!”

As the new presidential candidate climbed down from the Rump Rock, a chant started up. Two words. Over and over again: “AMERICAN ANIMAL, AMERICAN ANIMAL, AMERICAN ANIMAL, AMERICAN ANIMAL.”

Chapter 3

Rump could not sleep that night; he replayed the day's events with growing delight. Excited and restless in his luxurious straw bed. He’d played it perfectly, he’d been cunning, calm and courageous. He knew the odds were stacked against him, but that didn’t matter. If he could just convince half the heritage mammals to vote for him, he’d be in with a chance of prickling some fat cat fur. Besides, win or lose, he was in the game and his daddy had always said:

“Once you get in the game, you can change the rules.” His daddy had also told him: “Winning ugly is still winning.”

It had been decided that the vote would take place in three weeks time. Rump’s campaign strategy was a simple one. Shake the tree and see what falls out. He was going to make sure that this election would be bigger than anything the zoo had ever seen before. It wouldn’t just be unique because Forde was the first female candidate to be selected in the history of the zoo and Rump was the first non-big cat to be selected. It would be unique because Rump intended to break with convention. In fact, he hoped he could break convention altogether. As he lay awake, staring up at the moon, he compiled a list of one ultimate and unbreakable rule: No matter what, however much the big cat elite pressured him, or how compelling the evidence against him was, he would never ever admit he was wrong. About anything. Ever.

One of the first executive decisions the rhino made was to make Simon Python his chief advisor. The other reptiles respected Simon and keeping them onside would be vital. Rump felt sure Simon would make an excellent right-hand snake. Not least because Rump knew he would do everything he asked, without question. He also chose Simon because he was almost as committed to expelling the alien animals as he was. The reptiles had always felt like they’d been treated as second class citizens by the big cat elite, they’d grumbled about it for years. Rump, who once boasted that his Ranch was twice the size of the reptile house, took the decision to make the refurbishment of the herpetarium (reptile house) his first election promise. He would hold a big rally that very day and announce the exciting news.

Rump commenced a run of rallies that quickly became the hottest ticket in town. His impassioned speeches sparking a conversation that divided opinion, animals and even, in some cases, species. Rump railed against the big cat elite with sincere passion, his mischievous charisma and disarming candidness winning over many doubters. He exploded with policies. Opinions that dared talk about real issues; overpopulation, sanitation and animal migration. His election pledges ranged from the wacky and wild to the inspired and necessary. He threatened to dig a vast trench around the zoo to stop the alien rodents getting in. He promised to make all carnivores pay more tax, a vow the big cat elite were most upset about. Rump was vague and direct, unpredictable and cocksure, but most of all he was plain-speaking, no-nonsense and different.

Rump told the animals that if they had a problem, he would fix it. He didn’t get bogged down in detail, he simply said it would be dealt with. If he said a group of animals were corrupt, they were corrupt. Rump didn’t get involved in evidence. Rump dealt in fact. He didn’t get embroiled in proving things; that was what the big cat elite did. He didn’t have time to waste on verifying particulars. Why should he? He knew exactly what was going on. His supporters took his word for it. He didn’t tell them how everything would get better. It just would. Every speech he gave, audience members either chanted and cheered, or heckled and booed. It was a polarisation so stark many animals worried there would be civil war. The middle ground vanished, you were either with him or against him. His detractors were ardent, his followers evangelical.

Every Rump rally ended with the same repetitive chant: “AMERICAN ANIMAL, AMERICAN ANIMAL.”

The rhino climbed onto Rump rock spurred by the sound of fanatical cheering, he gazed out at the assembled animals, his straw wig flapping in the wind. He was pleased to note the new faces. Every day more were drawn to his rallying cry. “We need big talk and even bigger action,” Rump began with intensity.

“BIG TALK, BIGGER ACTION.” Chanted the crowd back at him.

Rump had travelled around the zoo, visiting with animals from all walks of life, talking to them directly, listening to their grievances, promising swift justice or instant resolution. He injected his speeches with their concerns:

“American animals must come first! Let’s make this zoo great again!” he bellowed, waiting a beat so the gathering mob could chant his words back.

Rump awoke on the sixth day of the campaign with an idea. He summoned Simon and instructed him to go and find him a chalkboard. Within an hour Simon slithered back into the ranch, dragging behind him, a thin sheet of grey slate stone.

“Place it at the entrance of the ranch, where all can see it,” commanded the rhino. Rump followed Simon outside to make sure the snake completed the task to his satisfaction.

“What is it for, Mr President-Elect, Sir?” Simon said as pushed the flat stone into place. “I will use it to communicate my important message, direct to the other animals.”

“What a truly ingenious idea, Sir.”

Rump craned his neck and started to write on the board, with his horn. Simon spoke the words as he spoke them: “A leopard can’t change his spots. I don’t have spots!”

The snake wagged his tail excitedly. “What will you call this new form of communication, Sir?”

“Well, let me see, this is a Horn Board!” Rump said kicking the slate tablet. “So I guess the act of committing thoughts to the Horn Board is called Horning,” he added.

The following morning, Rump went to check the Horning Board and was surprised to find a rather large pile of flat stones stacked at its base. Closer inspection revealed each of the slate tiles was etched with a message.

The first of which was written in tall spidery lettering and was signed by the Mexican Sereque, Jose. It was a straightforward opinion: “You’re an idiot!”

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The cover art that received the highest number of likes for the month of January:

Quentin Blake

#authorsofinstagram #artists on tumblr #artistsoninstagram #artistsofinstagram

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fisherfurbearer · 6 years ago

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I would absolutely live to hear about Future Plans and heritage fruits! My partners and I are looking at buying a house by the end of the year and I'm so excited at the prospect of a back yard to fill with food plants and gardening and everything! So I'd love to know more about someone else's plans!!

mmMMMMMMMMMMMMMM YOU OPENED THE CAN OF WORMS THE WORMS ARE OPEN THEY ARE EVERYWHERE NOW!!!! OHHHHHHH JEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOTHING CAN STOP THIS!!!!

MMMMMM. I LOVE. DOMESTIC CROPS AND ANIMALS. SO MUCH.

SPECIFICALLY “heritage” varieties. The pre-industrial/commercial varieties that people lived on for hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of years, or even the stuff younger than that, it’s just...so!! Good!!!

You didn’t QUITE ask for this but this is where I’m going with it. I LOVE. LOVE. LOVE. The HISTORY of our domesticated crops (specifically fruits and vegetables, but mostly Tree Fruits!!!! But I’m also suuuuper partial to heirloom sweet potatoes/normal potatoes even though I don’t like the taste of sweet potatoes, they’re just SO FRICKING COOL and I want to learn more about other vegetables too) and animals is just....HOOOOO!!!!

Locally adapted,, perfect little....NUGGETS that just...perfectly fit their own SPECIFIC LITTLE NICHES...no matter WHERE you live, no matter HOW much space you have, no matter HOW good or bad your soil, NO MATTER WHAT, there is ALWAYS something to grow or raise, and we can thank so, so much of that to the incredible variety of heritage crops/animals (and methods of agriculture) out there. Mild, cold, hot! Lots of space, little space, no space!! Fertile, barren!! Every condition in every color and shape and flavor and size and ahhhhhhh!!!!! AHHHH!!!!

Hold onto your butts because this is one Hell of a Mega Ramble okay, there is so much to talk about here, oh man.

Some background, which you can skip if you want...!!! It’s a LOT and it get’s VERY NEGATIVE but also VERY GOOD AND HOPEFUL, it’s a real big story and it’s My Story and gives a lot of insight into Why I’m Like This but it’s okay to skip for sure!! Anyway:

I’ve been researching (i.e. writing literally 1.5-2k+ words nearly every single day) for literally 7 years now about all of my various Passions and Plans in life. Obviously breaks were taken due to Sad Times but no matter what I did, no matter what happened, I’d always come back to my dumb awful stupid notes. I have notes on my current laptop, my old harddrive, my SO’s laptop, my stepdad’s laptop, my SO’s OLD gaming laptop, my old netbook, my OLD OLD netbook, every phone I’ve had in the past 7 years (which has been like uhh...five? I have bad luck with phones..) and COUNTLESS pieces of paper and cheap composition books.

To call it research, it seems to silly. Writing these words here, to you strangers on the internet, I CANNOT EXPRESS TO YOU how VITAL these notes are to my VERY EXISTANCE.

I have been researching and writing and talking to folks and asking questions and LIVING AND BREATHING this stuff for LITERALLY, LITERALLY HUNDREDS AND HUNDREDS if not ALMOST A THOUSAND OR MORE HOURS at this point!!!! If we were to actually SOMEHOW backtrack all the way to late 8th grade/freshman year when I first started dipping my toes into reptiles and fell in love with my first jumping spider that landed on my arm after I read Darren Shan’s Cirque Du Freak, after being so fascinated by the intelligent giant magic tarantula in the first book, and gathered ALL of my notes from then to NOW (I’m 21 now, if I was in college, I’d be graduating next May) it would EASILY surpass that. For YEARS in high school my family thought I was always playing games on my laptop, but really from the moment I got home to the moment I went to bed, I was watching lets plays with one side of the screen and reading, reading, reading, and writing, writing, writing with the other. For HOURS. Every. Single. Day.

Hell, this has been my most recent “Renaissance” of writing, after The Big Realization of earlier this year (I’ll get to that), and this is AFTER I went on a horrible depressed/manic rampage and deleted like 80% of my notes (that would have been from...hmm. This is what I didn’t delete, what Jessie recovered, and what I’ve added...so March to Early September, when Jessie switched my notes to a new program (I lost a lot of notes from lack of autosaving so now they’re on our nextcloud so I can’t lose them...but I’m too stubborn to use it still) and this is still like. A lot.

Keep in mind the average 10-11 kb file is 1500-1700 words for me. My biggest files (only of the ones I still have, on this laptop) are 40-60 kb. (Also these are Big Secrets that I don’t ever show anyone but Jessie, who I’ve been with now for almost 7 years, so this is pretty dang important to me and a big thing to be revealing.)

Current folder I’m usually saving to:

Nextcloud I don’t bother to use usually but probably should use:

Again, this is ONLY on my newest laptop, and this DOESN’T include the files I deleted a few months ago, nor the files I lost from February-early April after Jessie updated my computer and wiped my files, and I still have a BUTTLOAD left on my old harddrive from last year, but we never moved it up and I don’t feel a need to. (I’ve learned so much. So. Much. In the past year. I think I’ve matured a lot and really become more...Me. But I’ll get to that.)

Also doesn’t include the SEVERAL notebooks I’ve filled front to back this year (cheap $0.50 ones from work...I’ve blown through a couple biggish ones and I think 2-3 little quarter-size memo books) and all the receipt papers I have crammed into my work uniform...

But anyway why is this important? It really helps iron in just how HUGE this is to me. My future “Plans” aren’t just...it’s really important to me. Okay? I am but a humble stranger on the internet and my life and everyone elses’ respective lives are infinitely more complex than we can ever dare imagine one anothers’ existences to be, but just trust me when I say that I’m not pulling this from nowhere, this shit isn’t some sort of “fad” to me, this has been a long, long series of events and realizations and heartbreaks and so, so much pain that have finally led to everything kinda falling into place sometime this year where it hit me.

You see...all of my research topics followed a pattern. It went, in my rough memory, something like this.

It started with reptiles. Lots of reptiles. So many reptiles. I was so naive and young then and my sources sucked and I was very much a novice who dreamed of owning all sorts of cool reptiles when I got older, and of getting a gecko when I went to college. That was how it started and it went downhill from there. I branched off into gardening (I wanted and still want a blue tongue skink and had thoughts about how I’d grow a garden for vegetables and squashes and stuff for the skink and feeder insects) and THAT grew into this whole THING about raised bed gardening, square foot gardening, then into permaculture, which planted the seed for many things to come...and now I’ve ALWAYS LOVED BIRDS,, but when I learned that keeping CHICKENS was a thing (thank you Jennifer (Nambroth)!!!!!!!!!! Our emails back and forth are still saved forever, our talks about chickens changed my life and way of thinking Forever!!!) and I researched that, then I’d jump back to reptiles again, and back to chickens, then more reptiles, then chickens and QUAIL, or OTHER poultry,, and so on and so on. This beautiful fluid branching path that would always rebound on itself and I’d drop some topics, gain new ones, revisit old ones, learn what I liked, what I didn’t like, what were brief interests, and what were there to stay.

Some topics (chickens, new caledonian geckos, antaresia pythons, tarantulas, gardening...) would always come back. No matter what I did...they came back. As I grew as a person, I started to figure out what was important to me (CONSERVATION, animal welfare, reptile/invertebrate enrichment, vivarium design, combining art with animals, and did I mention CONSERVATION? and combating climate change/The World but that came later.) and while some of those points didn’t show up in my research until later...like my obsession with native wildlife/plants and domestic species...it never went away.

And as I grew older, outside of my research life went on, and I really went through A Lot in these seven years. Undiagnosed anxiety/depression all through high school, practically living in the guidance office junior/senior year, dealing with an emotionally abusive and animal abuser teacher for many years, living with my emotionally abusive/narcissistic mother, and eventually going to an amazing art college and having both the best and worst time of my life (Hahah!! Almost straight As and skipped a writing class with my amazing scores and was top of my class, Dean’s list first semester, in the Visionary Women’s Honors society, worked in the admissions office and did lots of cool things, but hahaha also really wanted to die and was Destroying Myself) and trying to get help while keeping it a secret from my mom...lo and behold of course she eventually found out about the Depression when I had to go inpatient near the end of my second semester, and she. HA, I can’t even cry about this anymore. She literally disowned me (took all my money, sold my car, cut me off of health insurance, made me pay my own hospital bills, refused to do my FAFSA for college anymore, dropped all support, and later when I had to come home because I relapsed again and the college made me go on a medical leave of absense, she threatened to kick me out and call the police [hilariously enough though the house was owned by my stepdad, not her, so she couldn’t do anything. Also I never did anything to her and she was just crazy and made up excuses. But yeah not fun trying to walk to work and being threatened over the phone that she was going to have me dragged out of work by the cops and not to come home, hahaha!!!!!! But then also when I did live with my neighbor for a few days she was apparently so distraught?? Haha what a weird person!!!! I haven’t seen her for three years now and it’s been the best thing that ever happened to me. Don’t mourn for me, it’s SO Much better now. Speaking of, she was a PETA-hugging ARA nutjob and if she knew what I was planning on doing she would’ve disowned me either way!!!!!!), and of course fighting to be able to move out and rent an apartment with my SO (I hate the word boyfriend. It’s been 7 years come January 11th, and we’ve been through so fucking much. And she [my mom...] and other people always made fun of him being my BOYFRIEND that that word is tainted for me...so Significant Other it is) and then being forced to live alone there for a couple months,, and then even after that, the fights with his family, the car accident in November, my mom ruining all chances of me going to college (keep in mind I had after leaving college, spent the next TWO AND A HALF FUCKING YEARS OF MY LIFE trying to make it so I COULD go back, spent all of my time, energy, hope, eVERY OUNCE OF MY BEING trying to do so,,, and she manipulated me and then lied to me and made it so I couldn’t), my rebounding depression, my Intensifying Aggression (terrifying. Developed when I was in college...I guess it’s some kind of rapid bipolar disorder, maybe triggered by me going on antidepressants in college, they said. But it was so long ago and they never knew the full story for a proper diagnosis anyway. But it’s gotten manageable and We’re Coping), the housefire on Christmas, moving Once Again to the new place and being told I can’t bring my 15 year old cat (he’s with my stepdad still now but it’s not okay.), the rats have to be in the basement, and oh yeah if you want to attend college again loans will be nearly 13% interest hahaha!!! and then finally just straight up breaking down in February and not leaving bed for DAYS and nearly committing suicide, just the real worst time ever, and my former therapist/psychiatrist place weren’t responding (turns out they discharged me!! haha kinda hard to make appointments WHEN YOU DON’T PICK UP THE PHONE and we DIDN’T GET THE NOTICE IN THE MAIL because our HOUSE WAS CONDEMNED and my mail was being sent to my STEPDADS an hour away!!!!!!!! Also really hard to talk to you when you BLOCK OUR FUCKING NUMBER and HANG UP ever time we fucking call haha!!!!!! Literally on the verge of suicide and not on my anxiety meds for MONTHS but hey sure that works too guys!!!!) which really didn’t help, and yeah it was really just the pits! Just the absolute pits, the Very Worst.

Now at this point I don’t remember exactly when/what changed, but SOMETHING did.

Leading up to February, I wanna say it was about October that I started getting kinda weirdly depressed, and I started REALLY tanking after the fire. After the fire, I had to move back to my stepdads within the night, and had to live without Jessie again and commute really far and keep the tarantulas a secret and in general be very alone and very sad. I started wearing down and it was getting so hard to just...enjoy. Anything. Even just taking care of the pets became difficult, and doing art or researching was impossible. I just...didn’t care anymore. I stopped caring.

On top of that, my climate grief and general feelings of Despair were at an all time high, and I just didn’t. Fucking. CARE. What happened next.

I spent YEARS of my life WEARING MYSELF TO THE BONE trying to get into college, the get back into college, to just try to do this thing that I was supposed to do, my ONE hope of having a career and a future that I probably wouldn’t even be happy with (I was an illustration major. I liked drawing. It’s what I was best at. But looking back, I wouldn’t have been happy doing it for a living. And Moore [no that’s not what my blog is named for, it just also happens to be my last name] was a great college but it just...wasn’t worth $30k a year with no cosigner for loans, even AFTER my scholarships) and my body and mind were wearing down and no matter what I did I didn’t care about myself, my animals, my partner, my life, nothing. I can’t explain how terrifying that is. Of all the time in my life, I think this was the worst. On top of my life problems, it must be said again that my climate grief and Misery regarding the state of our country and the world was also at an all-time-high, and I just felt...POWERLESS. Powerless and empty and uncaring and dead inside. I really wanted to just...drive off a bridge or eat a ton of pills (which I did do a couple times, don’t do that. Please. It’s NOT worth it.) and just stop Existing.

But then something just...changed.

I don’t know what it was, exactly. But I got SOMETHING back. SOMETHING “clicked”.

I’m crying a bit now. It’s so stupid to say, but I truly believe this is what saved my life. Realizing my purpose in life. That everything fell into place and finally made sense.

I’m going to be a bit more concise here but...basically...many of my passions and smaller aspects of myself all fell into place, so PERFECTLY.

It hit me that...ah jeez.

I will digress one more second. For those of you who don’t know, I have two Eurydactylodes geckos, named Vladimir (E. vieiliardi) and Estragon (E. agricolae). They are named for my favorite drama that we read in AP English, Waiting for Godot. It’s an aburdist theater play about two men who wait under a tree for someone (we don’t know who, just that his name is Godot) and that’s about it. Everyone had a lot of different things to say about that weird little book, but my take on it was that it’s supposed to be what happens to two men when they lack a “purpose” in life. Existentialism, and all that. They sit there and sit there and completely lose themselves just WAITING for this guy that they don’t even remember, they don’t even know why they’re there, and they do nothing to try and change that. The difference between existentialism and absurdism, however, is that absurdism specifically discusses this idea of a Chaotic Universe, this Lack of Meaning, this pointless quest of humanity to seek value and meaning in a universe without reason. It’s a fruitless effort, it’s Absurd! But the beauty of absurdism, this tiny idea that stayed with me in the goofy names of my geckos (I chose the names because I thought the play was amusing and I loved the characters’ relationship, which is Quite Gay and so Loving and Charming it warms my heart, and I loved that they called each other “Didi” and “Gogo”) and really held true to my own life. I DO NOT believe that THIS is why this change happened for me, but it’s ironic, no?

Back to Absurdism, Absurdism says... “here is this meaningless, Chaotic, RIDICULOUS universe. There is NO reason for ANYTHING, there NEVER will be, you DO NOT MATTER, you DO NOT HAVE A PLACE HERE. There is NO POINT to anything. So fuck it, and try to find one anyway.”

My original therapist did not understand why I found this so wonderful and inspiring. It’s so rebellious and selfish, I LOVE IT. To embrace the Absurd is to take the bull by the horns and flip it upside down! It’s to stare all of this dreadful pointlessness in the Void, and when it says “Why bother? Why care about these insignificant invertebrates? These ridiculous reptiles? These ABSURD apples???” and flip the bird both hands and say “BECAUSE I WANT TO, BECAUSE I SAID SO, BECAUSE I AM HUMAN, AND I CAN!!!” It’s...also more than that, it’s this long, defiant lifelong journey, this stupid, ridiculous journey of fumbling about trying to find one’s place in a cruel, vast world, and finding oneself in that journey.

I love people. I love the ABSURDITY of humanity, of people, of myself, of others. A Huge part of my Future Plans has to do with People, and Community, and Changing my little patch of the world. It’s not much in the grand scheme of things, but I know it can make a difference to someone and myself and that’s what matters.

Anyway back to the Clickening.

Around that time I had a moment like that. It was as if something in my mind was screaming at me, listen. You are here, and you have always been here to love animals, to love life, to make art, to tell stories with your art, to raise little sheeps.

And like that, it started Something.

I agreed to go to a local doctor, and was put on antidepressants. I’ve been on them since late February. I also got accommodations for work, so I have two excused absenses due to mental illness each month, which was good, because they tried to fire me 4 times now and they haven’t succeeded yet. (I’m DAMN GOOD at what I do, I’m just Sad and Unlucky and Dumb, but I’m doing a lot better now!!) I started taking all of the things I learned in the past many years and what I’ve learned about myself as a person (I won’t talk about it here but I’ve always struggled with my Identity [not gender wise, just...with my mental health and my mood disorder, it’s really hard to know What is ME and What’s The Illness) and it all started falling into place. My needle felting, my love for animals, conserving native wildlife AND heritage breeds with restoration grazing and positive impact forestry, utilizing my Overwhelming Charisma (in person I swear I’m quite a good talker! Way better than my typing here!) for education, outreach, and farmers market sales, my love for life and my fellow human beings and my plans to work hard to help feed my local communities and encourage sustainable agriculture and the dismantlemant of capitalism Love of our native wilds and backyards alike (I also have Big Thoughts about getting native peoples input as well, but I need to research that more and actually talk to people, but that would be in future years!!), and so, so many things!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That started in late February/early March now, and since then I’ve still had Really bad times, but I’d say in the past mmmmm...probably since late July? I think yeah since about then things have really taken great turns. I’ve Matured a lot, really embraced who I am and what I want to do, and while I KNOW my plans are going to keep changing over time (tentative goal is to look for/buy our property in 2025!! That gives us 5 years post-graduation to settle down and see how things go, where Jessie will be working, where we’ll be living, how my mind changes, all of that!!) but I KNOW in my BONES in my SOUL that this is what I have always been meant to do. To raise things, grow things, and to Care.

ANYWAY WOW HAHAHA YOU SURE DIDN’T ASK FOR ALL THAT BUT THERE YA GO THERE’S THE BACKSTORY, THE FIRST HALF OF THE WORMS!!!!!!

TL;DR: I’m a sad sap who is now slightly less sad and has Big Plans that were 7 years+ in the making and I want to take all my Big Thoughts about exotic welfare (well, reptiles and spiders mostly, but sure) and also apply it to DOMESTIC welfare and Make a Dang Difference!!!!

Okay now I’ve become very burnt out, I’ve been writing for like two hours now? So this part will sadly be shorter, but I will definitely write more about it again if you or anyone else has questions or actually wants to hear about it.

Basically...the amount of These Plans that I am willing to let you folks know, is uhh...oh jeez where do I even begin, haha...

Well it started small plans (early years of research, when I used to think a small greenhouse was Super Wild and Crazy) but nah bruh we goin’ full hog, literally. My plans are to get a decent sized property, still in my state, and have a HUGE focus on Sustainability and Positive Grazing/Management! That means rotational grazing to IMPROVE soils!!! Thinning the woodlot and clearing brush for the HEALTH of the forest!!! Reintroducing blight-resistant american chestnuts to restore our forests and support a healthy wildlife population!!!! Using both honeybees AND cultivated native bees [did you know that’s a thing???? You can buy native bee cocoons, like raised humanely, and raise them for pollinating plants!! Like Orchards!!] and grazing pastured pigs and chickens under orchard trees, while also providing BUTTLOADS of native flowers and domestic tree blossoms for native pollinators!! All that great stuff.

My biggest focuses would be raising practical heritage livestock for sustainable agriculture and conserving heritage fruit trees, with a focus on apples and pears. I also want to grow a lot of mutually beneficial/low-impact perennial resources...think honey, maple syrup, nut trees, stuff like that! And I want to graze on pastures with native grasses and locality-specific wildflowers (check out Ernst Seeds, especially if you live in/near PA like I do!! Wow it’s so frickin’ cool) and focus on northern european short-tailed sheep (finnsheep, gotland, icelandic, leader, shetland, and soay) and small landrace American hogs (american guinea hog, ossabaw island hog) and the more recent but so full of potential idaho pasture pig. I also want to raise icelandic landrace chickens for utility (parasite/pest management, composting), conservation, and eggs. I also want to raise rabbits (silver fox crosses for meat, and french angora crosses for fiber! I have a dream of producing high quality tri color angora for spinners...three colors on one animal, and I want them to be especially great for fiber artists who want to raise their own fiber animals but don’t have a ton of space) and I have BIG orchard plans...SO MANY ORCHARD PLANS, HHHHHOOO YES....SO GOOD...also COPPICE WITH STANDARDS and FORESTRY and HOO YES!!!!! I LOVE SOME GOOD OL FORESTRY!!!

I think the best way to describe my current plans standings is that it seperates into a couple different “zones”, for my Current Ideas. This has taken months and so many countless hours of thinking, researching, and ironing out, and I’ve made so much headway in just this past week, but basically imagine this...

It’s mostly split into two pastures, the orchard, and the woodlot.

PASTURE 1

Pasture 1 would be the largest, where we would rotationally graze two primary groups of ruminants. Polled NES-T sheep (finnsheep/gotland) and horned sheep (icelandic/leader) with dairy cows (dutch belted) as well. Dutch belted for milk and specifically cheese production, and they would be grazed in front with the icelandics to help take care of the taller grasses that the sheep would avoid, and help keep the sheep a bit safer. All would be guarded by livestock guardian dogs. Group #1 of the icelandic chickens would be grazed behind them, to help break up manure and disrupt parasite cycles.

Pasture itself would be mostly a big bluestem/little bluestem/indian grass/switchgrass mix, with a good variety of livestock-safe wildflowers (small portion being nitrogen-fixers like tick trefoils and pasture pea) and seed-producing flowers for birds (wild birds and our birds!). Would be rotationally grazed 1-2 days at a time (avg. 3-4 days total) with a 21-35+ day rest period. Polled NES-T sheep would be moved to “silvopasture” (copse with standards, a portion of the woodlot, with coppiced trees for fuelwood/timber interspersed with standard-sized mast producting trees [would double as nut and persimmon orchard, and hog foraging in fall/winter!!!]) in the summer to help them deal with the heat. Summer would be the best time, as it’s after the spring predator pressure and before the acorns fall, which could be bad for them if they ingest too many. Rams and hogs would otherwise graze this land with much longer rest periods otherwise (more like 30-45 days or so).

PASTURE 2

Smaller pasture with similar planting, arranged ‘paddock paradise’ style for a small group of icelandic horses (SO GOOD, and useful!! Little horse hooves are much kinder to the forest than a UTV, and herding on horseback is less stressful for the livestock) and rotationally grazed shetland and soay sheep. Pretty simple, but important. Would also contain Icelandic chicken group #2.

ORCHARD

Worthy of a novel all on it’s own. I want to grow semi-dwarf heritage fruit trees with the fruit drop type synced to the rotation of pastured hogs (idaho pasture pig, american guinea hog, ossabaw island hog) and group #3 of icelandic chickens. Hogs would be in orchard spring-fall, and in the copse with standards fall-early winter. Hogs and chickens would be moved to a holding area during rainy times to help preserve the orchard floor and during winter, where we would also have a large waste management/composting set up for them to root and turn to their hearts content. Should be a lot warmer than the outside in the winter too, and I plan on it being in a high tunnel/hoop house so its covered.

I am ALL ABOUT pairing livestock with crops and encouraging multi-purpose acreage in general, so this is definitely one of my FAVORITE plans so far, and every time I revisit it, it gets better. I also want to raise BEES (honeybees, mason bees, leafcutter bees!!!) for honey and pollination. I also want to plant BUTT-TONS of native flowers and goodies for pollinators, as well as lots of seed producing plants and sunflowers for the chickens to forage for by themselves. These would be some happy livestock, for sure.

WOODLOT

Another huge part of the plan is that I want at LEAST 1/3-1/2 of the property to be Woods. Only a small fraction of the Woods would be managed for livestock foraging and more frequent harvesting (still looking at a good 7-10 year coppice cycle though for trees) and the rest would still be tended to, with the help of the local forestry folks, but it would be preserved for wildlife and low-impact timber and nut/fruit/sap collection.

The VAST MAJORITY of the farm would be multi-purpose acreage for both livestock AND wildlife benefit (and people too of course) and I truly, truly believe and KNOW it can be done. In fact it HAS been done, IS being done, in so many different ways by so many different people in different times, and I know that I want to be a part of it and I can make a difference and use my weird passions for Good and make a dang difference.

Ohhh jeez I’m real sorry I didn’t quite answer your question though but I hope this gives a little insight into what I mean?? And if anyone has Specific questions after reading this (if you make it to the bottom, bless your cotton socks, I’m so proud and also distressed) I can definitely answer them a bit better than this. And hopefully much less...whatever this is, haha!!

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trunkzbriefs · 6 years ago

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hey i was curious how u learned to code ? r u using some sort of program of anything ??

TO BE HONEST i dont know how i came to learn how to code/program since there isnt really a set point for it! when i was a lot younger i took a class for the scratch programming language, and then i eventually learned a Very small amount of javascript and literally just took off doing whatever from there and learning a little bit of whatever i needed to know for what i wanted to do at the time. im in adhd self taught hell which isnt the best way to do things lmao, im not ‘fluent’ in any programming language which is often a downside.

id recommend at least knowing a good chunk of one programming language before jumping around to others (there are a lot of resources for learning how to program, theres like this weird idea i see ppl get that the tutorial isnt good unless its like a 3000 dollar paid course but theres good stuff out there its just a matter of how hard youre willing to look to find it) but the one you should learn is 100% dependent on what youre trying to do with what if that makes sense. i have no idea what to recommend for a ‘starting’ language but i think most people would say like.. javascript? since its similar to some other languages?…

(but personally i find asking “what should i start with to learn programming” is like asking “what language should i learn first to start learning this other language?” you may have a few of the same words or same sentence structure, but when it comes down to it youre still learning a different language, so i would just jump into what you want to jump into :v but thats literally just how I think and that might be totally backwards to some people gdhjfdhgfd)

but anyway as far as the actual game stuff im making and messing around with right now, i use gamemaker studio (the first one) and id 100% recommend it if you want to get into developing! i think my biggest mistake with things is i tried to create my first stuff completely from scratch (c++ things.. love2d nd lua… heheghh) or i tried to mess with a bigger engine (unreal, embarrassingly unity also) bc i was super super stubborn and i didnt want any “””extra help””” with things which is a very bad bullshit mindset >_>

it is by far the easiest thing ive ever used to make anything (besides maybe rpgmaker but thats very limited) it has a drag and drop feature so you can create a whole game without programming/coding at all! but id recommend at least trying to code with it because it gives more freedom.

gamemaker studio has its own programming language called gamemaker language that i feel is a lot easier to pick up than other things and theres a ton of helpful tutorials for it, (seriously shaun spalding is God tier when it comes to gms tutorials) so its totally worth giving coding a shot in your game, even if youre just using it to make your character move. i would absolutely just jump into learning GML if thats the kind of stuff you want to know how to do

downsides to GMS is that its a mainly 2d-focused game maker, and it costs money but it occasionally goes on sale on steam + the free trial has no expiration, so you can take your time getting comfortable with it before you purchase it!

on ANOTHER note, if this was in reference to things like my discord bots - first of all i am Sorry, and second they run javascript but you can also use python for them! theyre easy to make imo because you dont really need to know how most stuff works- you can get pretty far just copy pasting code if you want to have fun just making a personal bot. there are a ton of tutorials, but this one is a personal fave ehe

anyway i kind of rambled because this is a very old hyperfix of mine i am So sorry. im not the best at explaining things and i am known to trail off topic but i hope like ANY of this made sense or helped in ANY way lmao, if you (or anyone else?) needs clarification feel free to ask on a specific subject and ill answer the best i can!!! (and try not to get too excited and trail off like this jhgfdhf)

#cypurr #reading this back it does not make sense. ILL TR Y TO EDIT IT A BIT AHH

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avani008 · 7 years ago

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The Ladies of Indian History Challenge!

In yet another crazy challenge for myself, I’ve decided to push myself to actually try and write historical fiction! Here’s how it works: here are ten prompts based on 100_women’s tables (which can be found HERE, and are really awesome and recommended for use).

You: send me a woman from Indian history ( my history tag has many many suggestions if you don’t know where to start!) as well as one of these prompts.

I : am embarrassingly grateful and write something based on it for you! :D

Sanctuary, Latika Nath for @mayavanavihariniharini

The world is quiet here, nestled between trees, the cry of parakeets and rustle of pythons the only accompaniment of a tiger's tread. She has learned to live here, with no weapon but wit and wisdom to defend her, to leave the pettiness of the everyday behind. It was not so difficult as some believe; but then again, not so easy, either.

When she stands before the government, she argues the need for sanctuary to protect those animals that cannot speak for themselves; when she stands before herself alone, she argues the need for sanctuary to protect her own soul.

Mild, Ahilyabai Holkar for @mayavanavihariniharini

Her future father-in-law encounters her at a temple service, one he attends only disinterestedly. It is a long way to Malwa, after all, and the horses need rest--and praying for the Lord's favor is no poor choice for the traveler who passes along dangerous roads. He notices her for her extraordinary patience, standing wordless for hours on end, and begins to make inquiries.

Later, his second-in-command asks: "Do you seek her for your son because she is mild? Or obedient?"

Malhar Rao shakes his head. "Not that," he says, "but the promise that someday she might prove quite the opposite."

Fierce, Kadambini Ganguly, for @mayavanavihariniharini

One does not become the first female university graduate of the British Empire by timidity, but there is a fire that burns within Kadambini that surpasses even the world’s conventional stubbornness. She wants to strive more, to struggle and succeed against all odds: to see the old boundaries broken and useless behind her.

She might stay behind, and become a lecturer like her colleague Chandramukhi; or succumb to society’s decrees and mind her household as a conventional woman. She might—she might—She might not.

Her application for medical college is completed, and accepted against all odds; the world awaits.

Time, Kashibai Bajirao Ballad, for @ekdesichokari

He who laughs last laughs best, Kashi believes, and in that is her downfall.

When her mother-in-law hisses with rage at Bajirao’s new wife, Kashi remains serene. Even when the world erupts with disapproving whispers at Mastani Bai’s religion, Kashi ignores them. One day, the whispers will be gone, and the anger, too. Until then, she can wait.

Except —except things go wrong. Bajirao falls ill, Mastani follows him even into death, and only Kashi is left. Time might have been on her side once, but has since betrayed her.

She laughs now, and the sound is bitter.

Comeback, Neerja Bhanot, for @allegoriesinmediasres

Come back, says her mother; like any obedient daughter, she always wants to comply.

She came back every day after school, prepared to eat sweets and tease her siblings and kiss her parents hello.

She came back after the disastrous marriage in Dubai, heart heavy but not broken, head still resolutely held high.

She came back every flight before, suitcases laden with souvenirs, her smiling lips brimming with stories of her adventures.

She wants to come back now, too.

But there is a plane full of people whose loved ones also want them to return. She cannot forget her duty.

Veil, Jhalkaribai, for @chaanv

When she agrees to become her Queen’s shadow, Jhalkari does not realize what it means.

Oh, Lakshmibai is gracious and gentle and good, the blazing hope of all Jhansi, and when she goes to war, they all cannot help but follow: the women’s regiments, the nurses, those who sacrifice even jewelry, and Jhalkari, who volunteers to serve as decoy.

She stays behind so her Queen can escape; she diverts the enemy’s gaze at her own peril.

All this and more she gives gladly, only—

Only she wishes she had known it comes at the cost of being veiled to history.

Pride, Kittur Chennamma for @mayavanavihariniharini

"A Queen," murmur her parents with satisfaction; "Mother to a fine son," sighs her husband. All of these are reasons why the world thinks she ought to be content with all she achieved, but Chennamma's heart always aches for more.

Perhaps it is punishment that she loses them all: husband to old age, son to sickness, kingdom to the British. Lord Yama is known to be just, and sickness knows no rank--but the British have no rights. She will not let them have her dominion.

"We attack in the morning," she decrees--and feels pride in herself for the first time.

Pathos, Rukmini Devi Arundale for @mayavanavihariniharini

Married to a foreigner, and nearly twice her age at that; friends with a Russian dancer, and surrounded by Theosophists, Rukmini is already no stranger to scandal. Clearly that what draws her to an art meant to be the legacy of another, shunned by her friends. "Too old to be trained," her teachers remark sadly when they learn she is thirty, and Rukmini hears only one more expectation to defy.

Or so she tells the world.

But when, in dance, she depicts Sita's loneliness and Draupadi's despair-- when she need not show herself always, always unafraid--then Rukmini feels most herself.

Human, Savitribai Phule for @mayavanavihariniharini

At times she tires. Her mouth dries when she conducts lesson after lesson at her school for girls. Her lungs keep a constant cough, the result of hours spent at the hospital. Her bones ache when she trudges to protest the conditions of those condemned only by caste; her clothes are constantly ruined by the dung and fruits flung by her angry neighbors.

The less said of her in-laws' insults, the better.

But then she studies the faces of those who come to her: only human, no matter what anyone else says, and knows she can never--will never--stop helping them.

Writer's Choice, Nur Jahan for @parlegee

When he teaches her to shoot, her husband is surprised enough at her talent to say, “A pity you are a woman”; and then, face splitting into a flirtatious smile, adds: “Or perhaps not.”

Mehrunissa laughed then, but privately she agrees. A man would not have flirt and flatter to be invited on Prince Salim’s tiger hunt; a man would not have to hide behind gauzy curtains for propriety’s sake.

Despite these disadvantages, four gunshots sound from the lady’s pavilion; six tigers fall dead.

Prince Salim nearly drops his musket with surprise; Sher Afgan swears under his breath.

Mehrunissa smiles.

#ladies of Indian history challenge #the hope is to have ten different women promoted!#women I haven’t reblogged are ok too #i love research!#send me stuff please!#ladies i love

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giannisbct-blog · 7 years ago

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I “LIKE” programming

Well just like this blog, when it came to the like system, I wasn’t entirely sure where to start. I had started working on this before we had decided to go with AR built in Unity so I figured I would get the mechanics working and then be able to transfer them into Unity. Initially when we were thinking of building a physical model or projection mapping, I was going to have the like button on a webpage so that anyone could access it, an inherently thats where I started. I had the thought of using a python script to build the whole back end mechanic of the system and that data would be passed from the user via the webpage, and after quickly running this by Liam (who has done something similar before) he agreed that it would be the easiest way and we could have multiple users at once which is what we wanted. I built the most basic version of the “front end” part so that someone could input their name and then like it so the likes would be attributed to them, just like it is on social media.

Liam recommended using the flask module for Python to host the server (and webpage for testing). Once I had installed that I managed to get a connection between the two and even by complete fluke was getting it to receive data from multiple devices and be able to register that it was from different devices. I personally was stoked about this because it was 90% of the like system working but then Liam pointed out, as we don’t know why it worked, if it stopped working we also wouldn’t be able to pick out why. I figured it was in my best interests to learn the best practice for this rather than get the minimum working version as it would be great reference material for the future. In these early stages, Liam helped me a lot by explaining why one way was better than another and generally guiding me through which was super helpful as I was almost coming from no coding background. The main think I am super grateful for is him introducing me to JSON, which I’ll be honest was an absolute pain at first but I now realise it was definitely the best way to go as it was far more reliable and actually made sense. So essentially what was happening is that the HTML page was passing the name that was submitted by the user, to the python script every time the like button was clicked. The script would then add a new value to its own defined variable “like” and count them like that. The bonus of doing it like this is that if someone played once and then after a while came back too have another go, their “score” would compound and keep increasing. On that note though the downside is that if two users input the same name they will have a super score rather than two separate scores. While this would be a downside for an actual game where the score would need to be counted from just one game at a time and not an overall total, for our project it sort of just adds to it. The idea is that the more people “like” the disaster that happens, the more it proves our point that social media is building a screen which separates people from reality and that they can simply click a button to show their support, and the more they do that, the more they are helping? Or at least thats the theory.

In the past when it has come to doing small code projects I have looked up how to do something, found code that suited my need, copied it and then tweaked it to properly fit my programme. However, this doesn’t mean I necessarily understood it which is something I wanted to do differently this time. As this was basically my main role in the team, I wanted to make sure I would be able to explain to other people how it worked rather than have a piece that worked but just because it did. Which I guess relates to this whole degree itself, nothing is really taught to us (especially in studio) and its all self directed so we need to learn the skills ourselves and in this day in age when you don’t need a computer science degree to become a developer but simply be able to copy code from different places to suit your programme, I believe it is quite important to know what you are doing because I the future it will make me far more efficient. And its the learning by doing thing that works really well for me that I like. For example when it came to having to deal with GET requests from both the server and user side, I had done something similar before with the instagram location finder programme that I had had a play with earlier in the semester, and because I had used it before I sort of knew how it worked but then I had the code itself I could look through again and figure out why it worked and what parts I could omit for this different programme. I have to say, I think this semester I have learned more about programming from simply trial and error, Liam and online tutorials than I did in all of last year where I did both programming papers. It was also great to learn this in a group setting where the other team members also are not super coding savvy as trying to explain what I was doing or why I couldn’t do something that we wanted to do due to the nature of the system that I was writing in non technical terms helped clarify what I was doing for myself. I would certainly like to keep doing more programming projects in the future to further develop my skills and learn new things.

Transferring the user side to Unity was a whole different box of frogs though. First of all Unity is all scripted in C# which I have never used before (but luckily is similar to java which I had dabbled in with processing last year) but the whole mechanic of connecting to a server is made a lot more difficult as all requests need to be sent through a Coroutine. Which I’ll be honest, I had never heard of until I stumbled across a million Stack Overflow forums that explained that that is what you have to use. I think I have got my head around them mostly but there are still some things about them that elude me, for example everywhere (including the Unity manual) it says that they end when they hit a “return”, but I have coroutines that have functions or call new functions still enclosed in the coroutine but after the return type and it still calls them (see below).

They also supposedly run for their specified length (of time) regardless where they are called, i.e will run for 6 seconds if told to after being called from the Update( ) function. However, I have found that in some of my code this works, in other parts it just sort of ignores that rule and sometimes it waits for a wee while longer than the instructed time. So its not totally something that I fully understand but I know it enough to be able to use it in the right places and the majority of the function of the Unity scene is run by coroutines so I am clearly doing something right. I like to think of it as a poorly trained animal, I know the commands and the animal knows what they mean but sometimes chooses to do its own thing.

Another major challenge I had was dealing with JSON, for starters sending the exact same data as I was from the webpage but through unity, it was as if it was parson the data into JSON and then parsing the JSON into more JSON even though the commands where almost the same, so on the python side I had to update it so that it decoded the incoming JSON properly so it was then actually processed logically. This brought in a whole world of problems in itself as then the data that was being sent back to the user was all jumbled and messed up which was less than ideal as it felt I had actually gone backwards rather than made progress. But as I have learned from this project, every new error you get means that you are making progress as you have made it past the previous error. After all of that though, I did get it working.

vimeo

Once I had done all of that, I realised that it was a perfectly functioning Like system that recorded multiple user’s scores and could compound them and it was perfect, but only once. There was no way to restart it without stopping the whole application and going again. So there was the next challenge which proved a lot more difficult that initially suspected mainly due to how referencing different Game Objects is from a script and even harder, referencing the scripts of those Game Objects which is what caused me many hours of strife. To make matters more difficult as well, Unity doesn’t appreciate all the things you could normally do in a C# script so you have to find ways around its very stubborn walls which in my case lead to many, many scripts. Doesn’t sound like such a terrible thing but to make sure each was working correctly I was logging things to the debug console from almost every script so then when I wanted to look for a specific message I was sending to try and get something working, it became a whole lot harder because there were 20+ scripts that were all printing to the console. But once again, I am a champion and figured it out.

vimeo

As I write this I realise that it doesn’t sound that difficult and didn’t take that long but the code for the like system has been haunting me at night and has been an ongoing saga for weeks . I certainly have learned heaps and am happy with my process that I undertook. However, if I was to do it again knowing what I know now, I would skip out the HTML part and just go straight for the C# scrips because I think that transition was the hardest part of this whole process. In HTML (with javascript) it is easy to do everything all in on document but with C#, you can’t send data and also receive it in the same script, you need to separate them into multiple scripts which is where confusion starts manifesting as you try and think across multiple scripts and have to remember what each one is referencing and how it will then affect the other one. The issue with backend systems as well is you don’t overtly see your mistake as you would with front end because either something happens or it doesn’t and if it doesn’t you then have to comb through your code to find the broken section and find out what is messing you up. Overall I think this is what I found the most frustrating as I have only really done mainly front end development rather than back end, but this project was certainly a great insight into it. Now as for this whole project once we got on a roll, I obviously stopped blogging as I got so engrossed in the work which I do understand is not the best practice but as we were pushed for time (having left it so late to start doing something) I focused solely on getting the work done and from an outsider’s perspective the final product doesn’t really show how much work went into the programming of it, so I have uploaded all my scripts to GitHub so you can have a look at them, and also see how things work if you are interested: https://github.com/JabronusMaximus/ARcde-Scripts

#ctec608

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douchebagbrainwaves · 4 years ago

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POST-ORIENTED

It helps if you use a Web-based application anywhere. Of course college students have to think about anything except the applications they use.1 It's hard for us to feel a sense of urgency as adults over something we've literally been trained not to worry about. If you seem really good we'll accept you anyway. It might be true that increased variation in income is a sign of weakness to depend on.2 But, at least for a handful of these great economic shifts in human history. Fortunately there's a better way to get money, of course. Apple's next products should be. That's what compilers are for. Let's start by talking about the five sources of startup funding. Another concept we need to introduce now is valuation.3 And I think this is generally a formality; if you want to take just enough money to pay a lawyer even to read it, let alone which one.

I'm pretty sure that's a bad idea. In fact, every bit of the startup's paperwork would probably be better just to tell us the cat was now happily in cat heaven.4 Any startup founder can tell you the most revenue the soonest. Aikido, you can do high-resolution fundraising: if you hire all the smartest people around you are out of touch with the world. There are examples of this algorithm being applied to actual emails in an appendix at the end. I bet a lot of money on a freelance graphic designer. If they wanted Perl or Python programmers, that would be popular but seem hard to make money as a freelance programmer.

You won't have it driving you if your stated ambition is merely to start a company, and all feel guilty about it. Find something that's missing in your own life, and supply that need—no matter how specific to you it seems. My E-Commerce Web Site, that's spam. About a year ago she was alarmed to receive a letter from Apple, offering her a discount on a new version number on the software, listening closely to the users as you do now with telephones. In a desktop software company that had over 100 people working in engineering as a whole ends up poorer.5 The kids obligingly grow up considering themselves as Ys. What you can do more for users. Be aware, though, this is not how to find a cofounder, what should you do? The houses are made using the same construction techniques and contain much the same objects. To do good work, you need to start looking for your next round?

Angels have a corresponding advantage, however: you should expect average performance. If that were all, they'd be very annoying. Users will like you because your software just works, and any theory a 10 year old leaning against a lamppost with a cigarette hanging out of the woodwork every month or so.6 I've now realized it. Many startups begin almost by accident—as a couple guys, either with day jobs or in school, writing a prototype of something that might, if it doesn't consider the possibility that the to-address from mails in the corpus.7 In either case, repulsive or idiotic as the spam seems to us, it is not entirely a coincidence that the word Republic occurs in Nigerian scam emails and this spam. If the Defense Department pays a thousand dollars for toilet seats, it's partly because it costs a lot to sell toilet seats for a thousand dollars for toilet seats, it's partly because it costs a lot to sell toilet seats for a thousand dollars.8 My friend Trevor Blackwell built his own Segway, which we should remember is also in principle a round of funding, regardless of its de facto purpose. You should hope that it stays that way. At Viaweb we had external forces in plenty to keep us in line.

Foreword to Jessica Livingston's Founders at Work. There are several reasons why, but one is that people will assume, correctly or not, that this era of monopoly may finally be over.9 But they have to do an angel round before going to VCs. So one way to find angel investors is through personal introductions. If you're doing really badly, meaning the company is still just an idea. It wasn't worth doing better.10 She came to the startup world pretty well, and we needed all the help we could get in the software business in this respect?11 Lexical closures, introduced by Lisp in the mid 2000s. Here's a partial solution: when a VC offers you a term sheet, ask how many of their last 10 term sheets turned into deals. If you use this method, you'll get roughly the same answer I just gave.

Google pushed this idea further than anyone had before.12 They may if they are the actual registrar for it. Afterward I wondered, what am I even measuring?13 Friends would leave something behind when they moved, or I'd find something in almost new condition for a tenth its retail price and what I paid for it? In existing open-source projects you don't have an idea. They cut off all the crap the manufacturer had bolted onto the car to make it. The serious hacker will also want to learn how to operate hers.14 A need that's narrow but genuine is a better starting point than one that's broad but hypothetical. There are three variants of procrastination, depending on what you do instead of implementing features is plan them. But why do we conceal death from kids?15

Notes

Some VCs will try to become merely stubborn.

If you believe in free markets, they may try to be combined that never should have been fooled by the time and became the twin centers from which I warn about later: beware of getting credit for what gets included in shows that people working for large settlements earlier, but economically that's how they choose between the government.

Few can have escaped alive, or the presumably larger one who shouldn't? Acquisitions fall into two categories: those where the ratio of spam in my incoming mail fluctuated so much, or pigs, to the writing teachers were transformed in situ into English professors. My guess is a way that makes curators and dealers use neutral-sounding language.

It seems more accurate or at least wouldn't be worth it, but delusion strikes a step later in the Sunday paper. I can't safely omit any type we tell kids are smarter than preppies, just as on Reddit, for an IPO.

Maybe it would be easier to take action, go running. Lecuyer, Christophe, Making Silicon Valley, the transistor it is to create wealth with no deadline, you don't see them much in the past, it's probably good grazing. After lunch we went to school.

The variation in productivity is the post-money valuations of funding. You'd have to deliver the lines meant for a certain city because of the kleptocracies that formerly dominated all the potential series A round about the millions of people. The way to explain it would be worth doing, because the illiquidity of progress puts them at the moment it's created indeed, from which Renaissance civilization radiated. In part because Steve Jobs did for Apple when he came back as CEO.

Ii.

According to the principle that you have to give it back. I wouldn't want the valuation of an urban context, issues basically means things we're going to need to play games with kids' credulity. But if you're not trying to sell the bad groups and they would probably never have to resort to expedients like selling autographed copies, or even 1000x an average programmer's salary. The CRM114 Discriminator.

Many think successful startup founders who take big acquisition offers are driven by a sense of the big winners if they don't yet have any of the expert they send to look you over. 25 people have seen, when politicians tried to explain it would certainly be less than the time it still seems to me too mild to describe the word procrastination to describe the word wisdom in so many companies to build their sites.

It is a meaningful idea for human audiences.

Some founders listen more than others, no matter how large. And you can play it safe by excluding VC firms.

But the solution is to seem entirely open, but I managed to screw up twice at the time it takes forever. If anyone wants. That's why there's a continuum here.

Japanese cities are ugly too, and the average startup. Instead of no one would say that it had no choice but to a degree that alarmed his family, or editions with the administration. Starting a company doesn't have users. Ten years later.

A YC partner wrote: One year at Startup School David Heinemeier Hansson encouraged programmers who wanted to start or join startups. When I talk about it. Till then they had that we should be specialists in startups.

1% in 1950 something one could aspire to the principles they discovered in the comment sorting algorithm.

Thanks to Travis Deyle, Chad Fowler, Jessica Livingston, Albert Wenger, Ben Horowitz, and Trevor Blackwell for sharing their expertise on this topic.

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overlycaffeinatedwarmage · 8 years ago

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RtS 46-49

Back to Wales, and the chapter where Pritkin and Cassie actually talk.

Chapter 46

We are finally back to Wales with Rosier, Hilde, Abigail, Cassie, Billy Joe and Roger's ghosts. Poor Abigail! She is really not liking being back in action. Hilde is into it though! I like Hilde, she’s got moxie. Oohh the fail-safes get the Pythian slide show this time too, did not catch that before. Gertie and Hilde are sisters, I was not surprised. They totally act like it too when we see them. I love these little details. It really makes the universe more real.

Cassie sends Rosier off to court to find Pritkin. We won’t see him again until near the very end of the book. Billy is shifting now, that's a funny idea. Cassie is trying to stay ahead of the Pythias and acolytes Billy shifts them to edges of non-time, sorta half way between both places. This was really confusing first times I read it. This time is better.

Athenais! Lydia! Gwenore! More Pythia names, in case of future Trivia. I should keep a list.

Cassie and Billy hop into and out of non-time to stay ahead of Pythias. At one point they are beneath the waves to avoid them. Billy boops a shark on the nose, just because he can

Oh, Billy set ships on fire at the port, as distraction. I definitely missed that before. The distraction works and Cassie heads to Camelot.

This chapter was a ton of action that I kind of breezed past initially to get to the “good stuff.” I tend to that a lot on my first read throughs of long awaited books. It’s why I do re-reads. I never understood people who only read a book or watch a movie once. There is always so much more to learn from the story on a second or third pass through of it. Hell, with KC’s books because I listen to the audios while I sew, I often experience them many times over. Learning new things each time. (I’ve probably gone through HtM 10 times, easily, not exaggerating). To me books, movies, and shows are meant to be enjoyed many times and looked at from many different angles. That’s what makes their sometimes initial “high” fees worth it (talking hard cover prices, not paperback).

Chapter 47

Camelot! (I want to sing Monty Python here but that would be wrong yes it would). Or Caerleon as it is more properly called. The place is a mix of Celtics and Roman style and Cassie is in awe of it, to the point of tears. I would be too. Unfortunately, I’ve never made it outside the Americas and have never seen any historical buildings older than 200-300 years old. Some monuments at DC or possibly a few in Argentina are about the oldest that I’ve had a chance to visit. Heading to Europe and seeing what’s left of some of these places of legend is a dream of mine (Stonehenge!!!!). So, I totally understand Cassie’s reaction here. I was never into history classes in school because the teachers made them all about wars and dates (zzzzzzzz) but I’ve always found history fascinating, so I get it. Also, high school needs better history teachers.

Anyway, I’m really off on tangents today, sorry. We get a brief history of the region from Cassie. Despite being in shambles, Augustine still whipped up an outfit for Cassie. That that man a medal!

KC really has a thing for curly haired people. Half her characters have curly hair I swear. “Closer in, a swarthy type with a hooknose and a wand was painting stories in the air with fire: battling knights and fierce dragons and a princess in a tower.” Hi baby! Pritkin! The eel boy gives Cassie sass, yep KC likes her sass. Nimue and Morgaine exit a boat made of water

Arthur's symbol is a bright red dragon, hello clue by 4. How did I miss you before?

Chapter 48

Caedmon grabs Cassie and he's pissed! Their meeting in present day should be interesting to say the least. I look forward to it! Saved by the fireman, she actually calls him the right name for a change! First time I think. “Hair like a cow’s breakfast” Poor Pritkin and his hair. I would kill to have hair that stood up like that. But then again, I’m weird.

And they are on the run from the Blarestri. Pritkin tries the illusion trick but it doesn't work this time. Green fey help them, mostly to piss off the Blue as far as I can tell. And to give Nimue a chance to deal with Pritkin herself. Then the Green Fey get in the way of the Blue, Blue king won't kill them and piss green off. Fey are weird. I totally missed this before.

And then we see Pritkin control air. That's 3 elements now, water, fire, and air. All that's missing is earth.

It's the tent!!! Laundry tent but eventually sex tent :D The laundry couple protect Cassie and Pritkin. I guess they see them as the agents for change? Not 100% sure but I'm glad they helped

He's known around the castle, probably as a trouble maker. Part of me wishes we could have seen more of him as a youth but I am glad we get present day Pritkin back again next book. I’ve missed him so much. The old one is so interesting though. Such a rich life.

They evade fey. Cassie wants to go to Castle for staff, Pritkin demands to know why. Baby!Pritkin is just a stubborn as modern day one. I can’t imagine how hard it would be to write a character that’s the same base characteristics but subtly different like KC has with done baby!Pritkin and regular!Pritkin. The base qualities of his character are there in both incarnations: loyalty, honesty, bravery to the point of near suicide, stubborn, brilliant, cocky, hot headed, strategic (more or less), caring, strong. But you can see how his time in hell and what happened after changed him. Made him harder, gave him more control, made him plan more, made him less free with his emotions and more guarded in general. He’s less quick to trust people. He doesn’t let anyone in. It took him months to let Cassie in, even then it was only under duress or when he deemed she was owed an explanation that he did let her in, and she’s the person he’s closest to present day. His younger self knows her for 3 days and tells her all his person stuff. He’s the same yet different.

Chapter 49

Pritkin gets them into the castle dressed as actors. Cassie is dressed in a brief outfit and she’s isn’t too happy about it. I mean at least you're dressed at all this time Cassie!

I love this chapter. I think it’s my favorite. Even more than tent sex. Because they both reveal so much to each other here and actually get to TALK. There’s been so little time to talk this book that this brief interlude is all the more precious. Plus, he kinda shit talks Mircea a bit (one of my favorite pastimes). AND Pritkin respects her no when she says no to sex.

Aww he's flirting. He grabs her hips, invitingly, she says no, he accepts it but asks why. They talk, about why Pritkin wanted Cassie's name before sexy times before. God, the parent issues and abandonment issues they both have just kill me. Especially his here, Cassie's parents died, purposefully, but they really had little choice. Pritkin's parents did have a choice and this is what they did to him. Selfish dicks. Yeah, I understand Rosier’s reasoning for leaving Pritkin on Earth instead of bringing him to Hell straight away, but still. Surely there was a better way than this? Look what it’s done to him? No wonder Pritkin snubbed Hell and Faerie and choose Earth and humans in the end. I would have too.

Pritkin wants any child of his to at least know it's parents’ true names, poor guy. Then he turns it around on her and ask why she doesn't want to get busy when she very much did before. She tries to explain Mircea and her relationship but can't really. I love that he presses her about loving him and calls her out for hesitating! He tries to understand their relationship and fails. He points out to Cassie that relationships shouldn't be this much work. So complicated. She says they are serious and should be treated as such. They are both right to a degree, IMO. Relationships are work, not everything will be perfect all of the time. They will require compromise and consideration for your partner. But they also shouldn’t be THIS much work. Or this one sided. There should be some fun and enjoyment (outside the bedroom) to balance the work. I don’t see that in Cassie’s relationship with Mircea. She’s holding onto a dysfunctional relationship for nostalgia or for some other, wrong, reason. I think she’s finally beginning to see that.

Then Pritkin says this and I melted: “Not at all. When I’m hungry, I eat. When I’m tired, I sleep. When I see a pretty girl, looking at me with eyes as dark as the ocean, with hunger in them, so much hunger . . . I oblige.” No Cassie you don't want him or love him at all.

She calls him young.

"Yes. So are you.”

Yeah, right. “I don’t feel like it much lately.”

“Then feel like it now.” He saw my expression, and laughed. “Not like that. Well, unless you change your mind. But there’s other ways to have fun, you know.”

The respect here! Mircea would have her naked and over a barrel by now, protests be damned.

“If he gets you, I get this much,” and he teaches her to have fun, lol. What a change. Pritkin having fun. Smiling and laughing. This is my favorite chapter, better than the sexy ones. They needed this chat and reflection. This is why their ship wins.

#cassie palmer #karen chance #rts #ride the storm #pritkin #casskin

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justanothercinemaniac · 8 years ago

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Epic Movie (Re)Watch #146 - The Boxtrolls

Spoilers below.

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: Yes.

Do I remember it: Yes.

Did I see it in theaters: Yes.

Was it a movie I saw since August 22nd, 2009: Yes. #319.

Format: Blu-ray

1) Unlike previous Laika films, The Boxtrolls isn’t really a horror movie in any way. It’s more just quirky fantasy. Not that this means it is any less well done of a film though. Just make sure you know what you’re seeing.

2) I just have to say, from the first few minutes of the film, Ben Kingsley as Archibald Snatcher steals every freaking scene he’s in.

(GIF originally posted by @callerofthecrows)

Kingsley’s voice work is totally unrecognizable as Snatcher, and that is part of what makes him fun. You feel some sympathy towards Snatcher, as he just wants to move up a social ladder which he has been at the bottom of since birth (because it’s an injustice and unfair system). But darn if he just isn’t an amazing villain. Each and every one of his lines DRIPS with delightful evilness and greed. He is just amazingly fun and so freaking good in this movie, Snatcher is easily not only one of my favorite animated villains of all time but one of my favorite villains of all time period. Sometimes a movie is as good as its antagonist, and if that’s the case for The Boxtrolls it makes sense that this movie is so freaking good.

3) I grew up in Wisconsin. I totally understand the obsession this town and its elite members have for cheese. Cheese is awesome, man.

4) The titular boxtrolls.

The animation in this film is amazing and you can see that just by examining the boxtrolls. For characters who have little to no dialogue, each individual boxtroll is somehow given its own unique character and personality through design and movement alone. You understand that Fish is a little more caring and patient than the stubborn Shoe, for example. And even with the boxtrolls with smaller parts you get a sense of individualism among them. It would have been easy for each boxtroll to be a carbon copy of the other. For them to be the same if not in design than at least behavior. So kudos to the filmmakers for taking the time and effort to give each their own personality.

5) Fish and Eggs have a really interesting relationship. It’s almost father/son, in fact it’s REALLY close to father/son, but even Winnie comments later how Fish isn’t really a father. That may be because he’s a boxtroll, but I don’t know. He doesn’t feel like a total father. It’s like Eggs is raised by the community and Fish is the one who puts special interest to him. So ALMOST a father but not exactly. Either way, it’s a nice relationship to have in the film.

6) The entire class structure in this film (white hats at the top, red hats at the bottom) is really interesting to me. I mean it sucks, because people get to be abuse power while other people are at the bottom just because of privilege (or lackthereof), but it just works REALLY well. Not in reality, obviously, but as a storytelling device. It’s sleek, simple, easy to understand, and create a basic conflict for the rest of the film.

7) Winifred!

She’s so freaking weird, I love it. Laika has a real knack for portraying kids honestly, weirdness and all. And Winnie is no exception. She’s unique, a total nut job in the best sense, well developed, and has a great conflict with her dad which illustrates one of the biggest struggles about being a kid: no one ever listens to you. Elle Fanning is great in the role, giving Winnie all the heart/bravado/weirdness she needs in one well balanced package.

8) This is way too accurate to today’s political world.

White Hat 1 [on how one gets a white what]: “With valor!”

White Hat 2: “Chivalry!’

White Hat 3: “Or being rich! That’s how I got it.”

9) Eggs in the human world is the opposite of how we are introduced to the boxtroll world. We are introduced to the boxtroll world as this wondrous place filled with imagination and wonder. Eggs is overwhelmed, freaked out, and no one could pay him any mind. It gets to a line he has later in the film: humans are the monsters, not the boxtrolls.

10) The Trapshaw Baby song is a great piece of exposition to not only kind of what happened to Eggs, but also why the surface people hate boxtrolls.

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It was also written by Eric Idle, of Monty Python fame. I would also like to point out that it is easy to see the twist that comes with Madame Frou Frou if you’re looking for it. I wasn’t the first time I saw this film, so I was honestly surprised.

11) Eggs big conflict in this film is one of identity. He is too human to be a boxtroll (as he doesn’t have the natural inclination to hide like the others) but he’s too boxtroll to be accepted in the human world (biting Winnie, wearing his box, hiding from humans). You would think he belongs to both but instead he belongs to neither.

12) Wow. I can’t tell if this is awful or brilliant.

Winnie [about a street]: “Creeds Way? Milk turns into it.”

[She points to a street sign that names the street “Milk” just before the one man band does a rimshot.]

13) Snatcher is really starving for power (and cheese, which in this film are one and the same). It’s a bit of self loathing: he thinks if he raises his social status, he will raise who he is as a person. I always love a villain with a weakness (it feels more realistic when they’re defeated in the end), and I think Snatcher’s starvation for power/cheese is a great one.

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14) The following factory fight once Eggs is discovered trying to save Fish is a great action set piece. It is well paced, humorous, and also helps move the story along. This is when we learn that Eggs (and also when Eggs learns that he’s) the infamous Trapshaw Baby, and it’s when we learn that the captured boxtrolls are being forced to build something. It’s just a wildly fun scene altogether.

15) I love that THIS is how they explain why Eggs speaks English while the other boxtrolls don’t.

Eggs: “I have a speech impediment!”

16) Poor Eggs.

Eggs [translating for Fish]: “He says I was given to him.”

His entire world comes crumbling down. The conflict of identity (not being fully boxtroll or fully human) becomes apparent to him, starts to weigh on him. Everything he thought he knew was a lie and everything is now upside down. Growing up sucks, basically.

17) Eggs at the white hat party is so painfully awkward I love it!

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18) This line gets me wondering...

Eggs [after Winnie tells him to kiss the hands of the ladies]: “Which one’s the ladies?”

Do boxtrolls have gender? Are pronouns ever used to describe boxtrolls? I can’t remember. All I can remember is them being referred to by their full names like Fish and Shoe. But does anyone remember if they have gender? I’m totally down if they don’t! Like if that’s just not a part of their culture, I am so okay with that. I’m just trying to figure out if that’s the case or not.

19) Platonic male/female friends waltzing (especially if the female is leading) is one of my favorite things in the world.

20) This line kinda gets me.

Think about what’s happened at this point: all of Eggs’ family, everyone he ever knew, have been kidnapped by humans who think they’re evil for kidnapping him. He tries to tell them the truth and he is outright ignored. It doesn’t matter. Not as much as their cheese, their privilege, their power, their beliefs. They shut out everything that doesn’t make sense to them and make up lies to fill in the blanks. And here’s Eggs who is hoping they can help but learning the truth that a lot of people really just suck. I don’t know why this line is so powerful to me, but it is. It all is.

21) When Snatcher invades the boxtroll cave to round up the last of the boxtrolls it feels like such an invasion. Here was this place of warmth and safety being ruined by a greedy man and his death machine. It is incredibly effective but damn if it just doesn’t feel wrong.

22) Eggs’ dad!

I had the chance to watch this film with my mom for the recap. She had never seen it before and was so sad when Eggs’ dad was seemingly killed off. So when “Jelly” showed up she got so excited, it made me like the film even more.

23) I cannot even imagine what animating this giant robot was like for stop motion animators.

24) I didn’t mention it before, but I love how Richard Ayoade’s Mr. Pickles and Nick Frost’s Mr. Trout keep having to convince themselves they’re good guys. That they think they’re on the side of justice and keep losing that faith as the film goes on. This is the culmination of that for me.

Winnie: “Are you pest exterminators or evil henchmen?”

Mr. Pickles: “I KNEW it! I KNEW that’s how people saw us!”

25) This. Freaking. Line.

Lord Portly-Rind [after Snatcher talks when he’s disguised as a woman]: “Why is he talking like Madae Frou - oh my god! I regret so much.”

26) This scene. The idea behind this is so freaking important for EVERYONE to hear. I knew it’s something I still have to remind myself of on a daily basis, and I love that this film says it.

Eggs [when Snatcher has his white hat]: “Don’t do it. Don’t change who you are. Cheese, hats, boxes! They don’t...make you. You make you.”

27) I love the boxtrolls and the humans in a cohesive society at the end. Granted I love any film with a message of unity.

28) I! Love! THE META!

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Outside of Pixar, Laika is probably turns out quality animation with more consistency than most studios. The Boxtrolls is no exception. With a unique sense of humor and excellent characters, we are taken on a fun fantasy filled ride which will fully immerse you from start to finish. It is truly just a wonderful film.

#The Boxtrolls #Box Trolls #Laika #Ben Kingsley #Elle Fanning #Epic Movie (Re)Watch #Both is Good #Movie #Film #GIF

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