#but i could probably do like. bun rieu

[tisiphoness]

all the good viet food is an hour away by train so i guess i'll just have to do it myself ☹️

[hotheadhero]

Get to Know the Blogger

(No, I look nothing like this IRL. This is my Latias gijinka, Yuna Minami. Her Latios twin doesn’t have a 3D model.)

1. name: Nintendraw 2. strange fact about yourself: I’ve installed or repaired two HVAC (Nest control units), one 3-way light switch, and a car bumper. Almost a sink. Where’s my mechanic’s license? (pls don’t give me one lmao) 3. top 3 physical things you find attractive on a person: Why can’t I name non-physical things? Honestly, anatomy classes have desensitized me to this sort of thing, but I suppose pecs, abs, and warm hands are nice in addition to the face. 4. a food you could eat forever and not get bored of: Any Asian-style soup. Pho, Taiwainese, ramen, tom yum, chao (rice porridge), canh (leafy greens + ground pork soup), bun rieu (spicy tomato-/crab-based noodle soup with pork and cabbage), bun thang (rice noodle with shredded egg, chicken, and cha/Viet sausage)... 5. a food you hate: Pineapples (mostly was traumatized by receiving it when it wasn’t expected) 6. guilty pleasure: Romance novels? Also video games or wasting time following whatever rabbit hole. 7. what do you sleep in: tbh, anything not formal wear (or later, gunked with body fluids/pathogens). Usually some shirt and some pants; idc about sleeve/leg length. If I’m tired enough, I’ll sleep in jeans too... 8. serious relationships or flings: Serious only, if only because anything else is likely to get (mis)read by me as friend. 9. if you could go back in the past and change one thing about your life, what would it be: Learn Vietnamese sooner. Get my shiz in gear quicker academically (how Asian). 10. are you an affectionate person: Once I get to know you, or nearly anywhere online? I like to think I’m nice, but have come off as arrogant IRL before... 11. a movie you could watch over and over again: Haven’t watched many movies recently (aka the past up to 3-4 years), but perhaps Dr. Strange. Or Pokemon movies 1 (Mewtwo), 2 (Lugia), or Heroes (Lati@s). Or Star Wars. 12. favorite book: I’ll be hard-pressed to name just one, but some favorites I can quickly recall include Wielding a Red Sword by Piers Anthony (also On a Pale Horse by the same) and Kissed by an Angel by Elizabeth Chandler. The latter’s writing miiight not be the best anymore (it’s been years since I read), but some aspects of the main male character stuck with me potently enough to partially inform my oldest OC, himself an angel. 13. you have the opportunity to keep any animal as a pet, what would you choose: If domestic only, Welsh Corgis or (particularly if I could maintain the floof) Pomeranians/Huskies. If exotic are allowed, a red panda or red fox would be pretty neat. Or a tame cuddly dragon, if fictional animals are allowed too. :O 14. top 5 fictional ships: Camus x Nyna (I realize this is in direct conflict with Ree lmao) = Steven x May = Zack x Aerith > Nero x Kirie = Link x Zelda or Geralt x Triss (the last one until I get more in-game interaction with Yennefer) 15. pie or cake: Cake, 100%. 16. favorite scent: Mint, chai, beach/ocean, birthday cake/vanilla... 17. celebrity crush: Tbh, I don’t pay enough attention to celebrities to have one... I suppose I really liked Derek Hough when he first showed up on Dancing with the Stars. 18. if you could travel anywhere, where would you go: Valencia and/or Madrid, Spain (the former for their version of Smithsonian); Akihabara, Japan (0/10 wasn’t allowed to buy otaku last time); Vienna, Austria (music capital of the classical music world imo!!); back to the Smithsonian... 19. introvert or extrovert: Introvert 20. do you scare easily: I can be easily startled... Otherwise, I tend to be pretty unflappable in professional situations where I have some kind of response, even a framework, ahead of time. Unpreparedness is the devil, though. 21. iphone or android: Android 100%. By now, I’m kinda entrenched (whoops); and there’s more freedom of customization (e.g. root, different apps) 22. do you play any video games: Honestly, I’d be surprised if anyone in this group doesn’t XD I own mostly RPG or puzzle games, e.g. Pokemon/Zelda/Fire Emblem, Stella Glow, Radiant Historia, Valkyria Chronicles, etc. 23. dream job: At present? Cutting people open to save them. Dunno whether I like the idea of doing it with cool tech/robots or bare hands better; I am pretty dexterous, but... See Dr. Strange. 24. what would you do with a million dollars: Since Azzie reminded me to invest in something valuable like gold, I’d probably put 70% of the million into that/investments/emergency fund and use the remainder to give my parents a first-class vacation, pay off my loans, give myself a vacation (given the anticipated high stress of my career), and increase my souvenir budget for the next couple trips. 25. fictional characters you hate: Hate is a strong word, but other than the assorted slimeball NPCs you get to hunt down in Witcher 3, most characters I dislike tend to be as a result of being anti-OTP or poorly written. I suppose I dislike the protagonist of The Road, a small group of RPers from previous RPing sites/eras, and Ebony Raven Darkness Dementia Way. (All of those are here because writing style XD) 26. fandom that you used to be part of: Do Devil May Cry and Lucifer count? I come back to them occasionally, but only really engaged in either by watching a Let’s Play and reading fanfics respectively.

tagged by: tagging: Have at it, y’all XD

[traumaticexperiences]

(i’m sorry i didn’t want to put this in the ask bc it got really long but i needed to talk about this to someone i’m sorry) (please copy/paste and make it anonymous?)

IT’S REALLY LONG!!!!!!!

not sure if this plays a role but i’m vietnamese-american (both parents are viet, but i was born and raised in the US)

the physical part

when i was a kid (like before 11 or 12-ish) my older sister (4-year age difference) would sometimes get punished for making trouble or doing something wrong idk like it was usually somehting about disrespect?? like maybe one of us interrupted a parent who was talking or didn’t do a chore/hw and then lied about it to avoid getting in trouble or did badly on something in school

the punishment generally had two versions: the first was to kneel on the kitchen floor without talking to anyone for an extended period of time (i’m guessing to reflect on what we did) which could range from ten minutes to over an hour and afterwards our knees would be cold and red and they would hurt from being pressed into tile for so long but we couldn’t say anything we could only cry

the second was getting hit. there was this long skinny stick, like a huge chopstick (usually wood, although once that one fucked off into oblivion we switched to a white one made of plastic that was hollow on the inside. we stopped once it broke and was too short) called “cay roi” that our parents would use to hit us. me or my sister, we would stand facing away from the parent in question and then get hit on the ass with that fucking stick. when we were in trouble with our mom it was fine bc she tended to get annoyed more often but she’s pretty gentle so it was more of a light sting when she would hit us and it faded fairly quickly. my dad, though, he took longer to piss off but holy shit when he got mad, he was fucking mad that was literally my worst fear as a kid (pissing him off) (i’m 16 now and i’m still scared shitless of that) 

the rare occasions when my dad hit us, he would only hit us once bc it was enough to teach us a lesson. when he would swing it down you could fucking hear it going through the air and you wouldn’t feel it until a second later, and it hurt like hell. the wooden stick hurt because it was solid, but the plastic one hurt even more because it was a little more flexible and hit harder. i can still remember what that mcfuckening stick sounds like lmao

and afterwards, we would have to kinda cross our arms (but if you did it wrong it was disrespectful and you’d get in even more trouble) and bow to the parent and apologize specifically for what you did wrong, and then thank the parent for hitting you. 

growing up it all seemed pretty normal bc yknow that’s just discipline right??? i mean in all honesty i wasn’t a perfect kid and i could be kind of an asshole about running my mouth. but now i’m just???? what the fuck?????? but also i’m not sure if i’m right to talk shit about it bc it’s pretty widely accepted in my entire extended family??? maybe that’s just how things are idk i mean my sister and cousins went through worse shit than i did and they still kinda agree so i don’t even fuckin know yall

the verbal/emotional part whoopee

our parents stopped seriously hitting us in like 2012 or something but they don’t really need to anymore lmao. they like to pretend it never happened!! probably because of the one time a teacher threatened to call CPS (it never happened)

when my mom gets upset, she’s passive-aggressive and likes to guilt-trip, which, though annoying, is somewhat tolerable.

when my dad gets upset/vaguely irritated (which has been happening more often recently and haha i’m actually kind of fucking terrified) he like,, has this tone of voice and look on his face that???? is objectively The Most Terrifying thing. i’m not ashamed to admit that i cry every time he gets near that stage. and it doesn’t even have to be directed at me specifically??? it’s just objectively scary as all hell

his voice gets really deep and loud and he talks to you like you’re literal shit. it’s bad enough in english, but sometimes he switches to vietnamese and it’s even worse because he gets even more pissed off if you don’t understand what he’s saying but he’s talking so fast and wow!!! i’m too busy crying and being scared shitless that i can barely keep up with my shitty language skills!! it’s a tone of voice that seems to be genetically inherited from the paternal side lmao. he rarely swears, but when he gets mad even just minor swearwords sound intimidating. and he looks at you like you’re worthless and everything about it kinda makes you shrink back.

he gets even more pissed off if you start crying. he’ll say, “i’m not even yelling at you, i’m just trying to make you understand” and like!!!! binch!!!!! you sure don’t sound like you;re not yelling!!!!

lately i’ve been calling him out more when he does this, but then he says that it’s just something that happens when he starts getting worked up, that it’s just that his voice rises and tends to get louder and that his whole side of the family is like that. and yeah i can see it in them but like. can you. not?? and he turns it around and calls you sensitive 

and as all this shit is going on it just tears down your sense of self-worth and i can’t find it in myself to even try talking. like it feels as if someone shoved their hand into my chest and started playing operation except they just fucking tore out all the organs and there’s nothing left in there?? you can’t speak up and explain yourself, and if you try standing up for yourself you’re either shouted down or you’re punished for being disrespectful

a fuckin example that i’m really pissed off about

a few months ago back in the fall, my sister was still home from college during labor day weekend. we were in the kitchen helping out my mom with preparing for lunch while my dad was on his laptop at the kitchen table. i was washing some herbs for bun rieu and my sister was sorting out the good leaves from the wilted ones. my dad started reading, in an obnoxious and condescending voice, some kind of headline from an article about ~millennials~ or something, idk. he then summarized the article, and my sister started getting a little annoyed. she said something vaguely defensive but respectful, if rather passionate, about how ~millennials~ were getting screwed over by a previous generation i don’t even remember if that was it idk it had something to do with millennials and baby boomers. anyways, my dad took offense and it devolved into him saying something about how millennials are entitled and selfish and she ended up going upstairs to cry in her room. i went upstairs to go check on her after i finished washing the herbs while my mom kept cooking. my sister was sitting on her bedroom floor with a box of tissues and crying, and her phone was there so i assume she was venting to her friends. we don’t really talk about this shit to each other just bc. yknow. handling it on your own is hard enough to process, and it’s a really heavy subject to talk about considering our sisterly bond is based on memes. anyways i sat with her and kinda awkwardly hugged her from behind and didn’t say anything bc like what the fuck do you even say in a situation like that

after a few minutes i went downstairs bc the food was done and i didn’t want to start more shit with my parents right after that mess. my mom asked if my sister was coming down to eat (she already knew the answer but it’s just routine) and i said no. i started setting the table and as i was doing that my dad came back into the kitchen from bumfuck nowhere (i seriously have no idea where he was at that point) and seemed calmer. he also asked if my sister was coming down to eat and made a disgusted little snort when i said “no, she’s crying.” at that point i started crying and choking too because holy FUCK this was one hell of a stressful period. i’ll spare you the details but i ended up calling him out on being an ass. he reluctantly apologized to ME for how he was acting towards HER, as if he could automatically redeem himself with a half-assed apology and immediate 180˚ attitude change, and i said “i’m not the one you should be talking to.” over lunch, he tried to spin the story as if my sister had been ~disrespecting him~ and he was ~standing up for himself~ but my mom joined on on my behalf. she also called him out on shouting people down for disagreeing with him, but he also tried to deny that. in the end he said he would apologize to my sister. idk if that ever actually happened.

there was another incident where my dad barged into my sister’s (a few months before the previous one) and started screaming at her for having a messy room.

i got real fuckin pissed at him for that and wrote him an email bc i didn’t trust myself to confront him directly.

Dear Dad,

I would like to address the disagreement we had over the state of both mine and [sister’s] rooms.

I will preface this by saying that I mean absolutely no disrespect in anything that I say here, even it may seem so because this is written rather than spoken. I apologize if you take any offense at what I say. I sincerely do not mean any disrespect.

I do not deny that our rooms are messy. I realize this, and will clean mine when I get home after school. I can guarantee that. It is true that both mine and [sister’s] rooms should be kept clean, and should currently be in a far cleaner state than they currently are. I completely agree with you on that front. I also agree that your and Mom’s room is always neat and tidy. I will not dispute these points, because they are true.

However, I do not agree that women should be held to a higher standard of hygiene than men. As one who believes in equal rights, I believe that women and men should be held to the same standards of cleanliness– that is to say, all people, regardless of gender, should absolutely be clean. There is no need for women to be especially clean, because everybody should be clean. I recognize that I contradict myself, given the state of my room. I do not believe myself to be an exception to the rule; I recognize that I should strive to stay organized.

Last night, when you and Mom came into [sister’s] room, you both pointed out how messy it was. All four of us agree that it is messy. You then proceeded to say that she should be neater, especially because “you’re a girl.” I do agree that both [sister] and myself should be cleaner. However, when we tried to defend ourselves, you did not listen to everything we had to say.

I realize that myself and [sister] may have been rude in our response. I apologize for my rudeness; I intended only to express my own thoughts on gender equality. I was not trying to dispute the fact that the parents’ room is clean, and the the children’s rooms are not.

You have always raised us to defend our own beliefs, and to stand up for each other. At dinner, two hours previously, you told us that we should always remain true to ourselves and what we believe in. When we tried to do just that, you became angry with us for reasons that we could not understand at that moment in time. You refused to listen to our opinions, and that made us feel dismissed and upset. It made us feel as though you did not consider our opinions valid. I know that you did not intend to affect us in this way, but the fact still stands that we both feel hurt over this ordeal. I am not upset that you raised your voice; I am upset that you went against the very ideals that you have raised us with.

I write this email on behalf of both [sister] and myself, and everything we believe in. I am truly sorry if this message has in any way conveyed disrespect. That is the exact opposite of my intention. I write this email to you because I respect you and the lessons you have taught us both. Thank you very much for having read this to the end.

Sincerely, [my name]

about 90% of that was bullshit and sarcasm, but i had to pretend to respect him otherwise i would get my ass kicked.

his reply?

Hi [my name],

I’ve always taught you to stand up for your beliefs and am very happy that you feel enough conviction to send me this email. I noticed that you apologize quite a bit throughout. Just remember, only apologize when you feel that you did something wrong. Be polite and respectful, but be firm about it, and don’t apologize for everything.

About last night, I’ll admit that I was wrong, and for that, I apologize. I should not say or imply that *only* girls should be clean, or girls should be cleaner than boys. We all should be clean and strong – physically, mentally, emotionally – regardless of gender.

Having said that, I was upset with your sister (and to a lesser extent, you) last night. Not so much about what was said, but more about what I perceived as an attitude that “since you are biased with girls vs. boys, I just won’t clean my room”. This was unacceptable, and I was tired, so I wanted to end all debates before I say something that would make you girls more upset, or something that I may later regret. There is a time for debate, and a time to “just do what your parents tell you to do”.

The message was clear – the rooms were messy, permeated a foul odor, and needed to be cleaned!

You and your sister are both old enough and intelligent enough to realize that our appearance and cleanliness are reflections of our character and how we are as people. Poor personal hygienes and messy/smelly rooms are obvious signs of someone who is lazy and has little self-respect. I don’t want my girls to be or be seen as those type of people.

We can talk more about gender inequality at dinner tonight. Just remember the reality that we do not live in a fair world. The only way you can rise above the race and gender bias, and someday effect change, is to be smarter, tougher, and more educated than those that are biased against you.

what a fucking condescending asshole lmao

there were a shit ton of other incidents that were more extreme than these that also ended up making hate car rides but anyways!!!!

anyways i’m bitter, traumatized, and very fucking terrified of being like him

/////

oh my god, the part where you had to cross your arms and bow to parent and apologize for what you did wrong and thank them for hitting you is infuriating!!! it's so fucking sadistic and sick!!! they were having a slave fantasy with their children, and it's such huge psychological damage to the child, to be humiliated and forced to bow to the person who abuses and beats them, i'm disgusted! and re-defining their own actions when you call them out is so pathetic and shitty, like insisting they're not yelling when they are, fucking liars. also messy rooms are normal and should be a fucking right, and what the fuck is with holding women to higher standard of hygiene, that's sick and sexist!

and by his reply it's completely clear that he's a sociopath. this way of manipulative writing, where he acts like he can do whatever he wants bc he can sweet-talk his way out of taking responsibility and pretend that he's perfectly reasonable and in the right, this is fucking dangerous. i hate people like this more than anything, manipulative, sociopathic, eloquent talkers, who are impossible to depict to others as abusive no matter how sick and sadistic they get.