#but i don't know if id feel worse rooming with the floor that doesn't match my gender at all
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i feel so selfish but also im gonna start crying bc of this
#teddy vents#the university i plan on going to is offering gender neutral housing for the first time EVER.#like my first year of school is gonna be their first year of this#& i got really excited at first#& im on the list for it (there's a pretty low number of spots)#but the residence hall they're using for it has no single rooms only doubles#& it seems selfish but i was really looking forward to having my own personal dorm room. where i could be myself#i don't want to have to spend my first year of college in a new program rooming with a complete stranger#where the only thing we had in common was our transness.#& i know there's a chance i would get along with whoever i end up with. but there's no guarantee!#the housing department said i would get matched with a roommate based on the questions i answered in the housing application#but those questions were only are you willing to live with service/support animals + do you get up early + do you stay up late#+ are you okay/not okay with noise#like that's not enough! i don't feel safe or comfortable enough with that#but i don't know if id feel worse rooming with the floor that doesn't match my gender at all#bc in my original dorm choice i was going to be living with 3 or so other girls#we'd have our own rooms but i would still be lumped in with the wrong gender.#i don't know. would it be worth it? what would my parents think?#they're still helping me pay for a lot of college. they'll be there when i move in what will they think#when they potentially see visibly trans people that i would be rooming with.#that's a recipe for disaster right there.#i don't know. i don't know.#they're keeping me on the list until friday which is okay#im gonna see my therapist tomorrow so ill talk to her then about it & what she thinks.#i was so excited for this opportunity & now it seems like it won't even work for me.#i just want to live in a dorm where im happy & comfortable#damn. why did the affordable & scholarship granting school also have to be the most conservative and traditional one too#if you read this far thanks 👍 im kinda distraught#wish this hadn't happened in the middle of the school day im gonna be focusing on it until tomorrow's appointment now
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