#but i hope as you grow as a person and achieve the stuff you're striving towards that you'll be able to say ''i admire her - but i'm pretty

[mishkakagehishka]

Well you asked for it so I am here to deliver. I feel jealous of you. Your capabilities writing, your passion for literature, the love you hold for it all, how much you know about it… even your love towards your ethnicity, and how you’re proud to be what you and not afraid to speak your mind when you feel like something important to you is not being taken with the gravity it should. I could never say this off of anon but… I am envious of you. You can take it as a compliment, since it has less to do with you as a person and more with my own internal turmoil since you just have things that I feel are lacking in me or I would like to strife for.

All that to say that I really respect you. I wouldn’t say I look up to you, even if you have qualities I’d like to work on within myself, but you have influenced me in a way to work on myself s little bit more sometimes… I don’t want to lose to my own negative feelings when they come more from a place of admiration than anything else.

So there’s your anonymous confession from me.

I think it'd be naive of me to respond to this with something like, "you don't have to be jealous or envious!" tbh, but I want to first say that I understand where you're coming from, and that it's, well, a bit impossible to just say "I don't have to feel like this, so I won't". Though I don't really have much experience with envy/jealousy, thankfully, I struggle with anger, as I'm sure you've noticed;; so I can relate to you on the side of "I have negative feelings towards a person, but I don't want to let myself fall into those negative feelings, but I can't help it either"

But, I'd like to say I'm proud of you (and I hope that doesn't come across as patronising! I just mean, it's good to hear, as people often don't do that as a reaction to such feelings) for recognising it as negative, and for turning it around to yourself by working on yourself. Abilities are nothing but practise (i've been writing for years, and still have moments where i'm unhappy with my work - often - art especially is something you can never be perfect at, but it's better to think of it as "art is something you can always improve at"), passions are... something you discover, you can come across them entirely by chance. And being unafraid to speak one's mind can sometimes cross over to "doesn't know which battles to sit out". All this to say, there's nothing special about me; everything I've achieved and I will achieve can be achieved by almost anyone else, too, I believe. You probably have many skills you're still unaware of, yourself, either because you don't see it, or maybe bc it's a skill you haven't thought to try yet, and passions are something you come across throughout life - maybe even that skill you have that you haven't tried will turn into your passion. You really never know where life takes you

But all in all - I believe you won't let yourself lose to your negative feelings, considering that you're this aware of them. I admire you right back for typing this out, actually, and I'm sure you'll be able to achieve so much, too. Continue striving to your goals and working on yourself, and don't worry too much even if you have to sometimes say "Ah, because I'm envious" as motivation - tho, if possible in any way, maybe just starting by saying "Ah, because I want to be like that person in this and that way" can help in a "fake it til ya make it" sort of way

[sanghyukstattoos]

Mafia!SF9's reaction: dying (?) when saving

A/N: Amazing huh, as always, thank you for this request

Read more here~~

Youngbin:

You and him trained at the same time as one another, displaying hardiness, endurance, team work, sacrifice and other traits judged to be essential for leadership

You spared on many occasions but never spoke apart from giving each other feedback and honest criticism

Such a good pairing that your superiors considered letting you two work together but the plan never made it through, they had already had other plans for you

Far into the future, the two of you have already settled into leading your groups when you stumble onto Youngbin in a civilian area

You have been living there for quite some time, having shifted only recently but Youngbin's apparently been here to for some weeks and to trail someone.

You meet him in an open store, lined with books, magazines for travel and snacks, in the dead heat of the summer and the owner moving around.

The next time you meet him, he accidentally bumps into your shoulder sending your stuff to the ground which when you pick up, he uses one to disarm the person who is following him

Moments later, you trace back your steps to find your missing item and out of pure curiosity do you find yourself witnessing the mysterious figure about to commit a violent action.

Youngbin has this look on his face, alerting you that he is not the same, scared and ready-to-plead person that he used to be at the academy

When you save him, the both of you fend off the attacker and send him packing to your superiors, in turn you receive benefits for his hard work and your last minute effort to save him

He takes you to this place he found out about earlier, it's completely nature, untouched by humans because of how it is sealed from the outside world, people are only allowed to marvel at it. He shows it to you as a sign of his gratitude.

Inseong:

Initially the person that none of your superiors thought would not make the cut but his display of determination, endurance to grow and willingness to change to be the best changed their mind which is why he eventually joins your team.

His readiness to ease tough situations and have fun with others makes him the perfect candidate to be a friend with, he's not the type to easily give comfort though.

This is because he's a kind soul but doesn't necessarily know how to properly express it which is why the members go with him to have fun because he knows how to lift a mood.

His advice is all hay-wire with random mumbles but his actions dictate what he's been trying to say all this time.

Secretly vibes to girl group songs during your breaks, what a guy~

When he's in danger, he reacts quickly because he's trained too but the individuals agility and strength throws him off, along with other people that have ganged up on him.

He keeps his cool, fighting with the agenda to get out of this place as quickly as possible and he almost succeeds, if he isn't brutally dragged back inside.

You and the rest of you team members help him and take what you need

He's injured, not life-threatening and you are impressed, he thanks you as he sits on the hospital bed but you reject his thanks by saying that it was all him, he managed to save himself all the way.

Jaeyoon:

Unsure of what he's supposed to do at first, you have to delegate tasks, responsibilities and he messes up but he is good at adapting to situations so he's quick on his feet and is able to think of solutions.

This makes him reliable and dependable since he is also great at comforting the others, his sweet nature allows people to easily warm up to him and share their troubles. A great listener and excellent contributor to the team, you appreciate him a lot because of it

A team player so his lack of ambition thwarts his concern for the members, he is completely fine with unsuccessfully completing a mission as long as the members are safe. Unlike the other SF9 members, he sees it as two options and will choose either one whereas the others will try and achieve both.

Supposed to meet the escape team on the other side, an external factor causes you to stay behind with him although he insists that he will be fine, you know that he fears the idea of being solitary.

He makes jokes to lighten the atmosphere and when it is time to move, he follows your orders as he has always trusted your instincts as team leader

He is immediately the best the person to be stuck with because of his variety of specialised skills that will contribute to any situation.

When you save him, he does the same for you too, not out of favour but as a responsibility that the two of you have to look out for one another as team members and also because of the situation you are in.

He'll show you physical affections as a way of saying sorry that he was not careful enough and that you could have almost died as you saved him, an example would be a short hug and when you are running, he'll hold your hand and tug your along

Dawon I Lee Sanghyuk:

He was the last person to join the group and although shy at first, he's grateful for the others since they managed to bring him out of his shell

Is playful and teasing when off duty and makes it a point to tease you, is the main reason why the trauma is less significant as a group, responsibility may be equally divided but his light-hearted spirit ensures that you can complete the mission with the same characteristic.

Is very serious during missions and his ability to lead the team through tough situations- with his instillation of hope and strategical tactics, is the reason why you would choose him to be the leader in your place.

One thing that unnerves you about him is how he falters when he's shocked, he stills when on a mission but the dangerous environment leaves him at great risk.

You realise it's full play when you're tipped off and send Sanghyuk alone to the hotel room but he freezes upon seeing the long-past wounded individual, despite your team's best efforts to bring him out of his trance-like state, nothing changes.

That's when you run up flights of stairs to save him, you get there moments before he's about to pass away from strangulation as the stranger behind him makes extreme effort to achieve his goal of secrecy.

After that, you make sure to train his response by sending to training lessons again but this time, his heart rate is going to be normal no matter who or what he encounters.

Rowoon:

Your personal assistant, can and will fight if and when required.

Very talented in the field but switched to assisting after a traumatic event with his previous group, they all survived but he could not compartmentalise what had happened so he left

Praised for his immense talent and often had the responsibilities of scouring targets and/or engaging with them in order to gather information

Is actually much more awkward than his first impression, mainly because everyone's first impression of him is based off his looks

His persuasiveness helped him encounter and secure targets making him ideal

Is the cook of the group when they were stuck somewhere, did it automatically and was not afraid to put anyone in their place if a fight broke out but never mixed the two

Spoke to his members and confided in their worries so that by soothing theirs, he would also soothe his.

Was ambitious to complete missions, looks out for himself a little more than he does for others which his superiors like and encourage but you have mixed feelings about it.

When you save him, he reconsiders his priorities during missions but you know that he had every right to look out for himself in a situation as dangerous as this so he has no obligation to change.

Is visibly shaken even after, you can see the fear in his eyes hidden with the idea that he is still alive and won't be encountering these situations as easily because of his current job as your assistant.

Is reprimanded and almost suspended by your superiors because had he almost failed his job, neither of you would be alive, strives to change after that

Zuho:

Reliable as a team member but insists that he should work alone and after convincing your superiors, they allow him to work in a remote, rural part of a country.

Your team is also stationed there but is working on a different mission, you knew that there would someone working alone towards one goal that your superiors need to achieve

You bought up the obvious considerable risks associated with a mission assigned in such a way, including whether the individual would pull through with their results

You choose not to doubt though, meeting him just before the dense forests that have been reconstructed to accommodate the growing population

He's immediately more interested in the suffering of the animals, telling you that they don't have sufficient water, food and space to live and you nod, preoccupied.

You ask him to take a look and he has to put this little animal that he's petting for the last twenty-five minutes down to start concentrating when he sees the absolute chaos

Fights with vengeance, he's angry that they have taken away the animal's nature and you sigh when you have to save him

He's overwhelmed with pain, the struggle of fighting multiple figures and not running into some big cat to become it's next meal

You help, are also wounded in the process so he helps you patch it up and carries your limping self to the medics. Comes back to check up on you and give his thanks.

You get just a little bit closer and from then on, it's just luck whether he's assigned to your team or not

Yoo Taeyang:

He's capable, tolerant of other people and does not easily lose his temper as compared to the initial reviews you received from his pervious superiors. However, he does easily misunderstand.

That is why he sometimes look as if he is forever annoyed with his furrowed eyebrows or pursed lips

Fun-loving guy, somewhat introverted so it takes time for him to get to properly know the team. Is also objective to your leadership even if everyone else seems to follow along exactly what you say and this is something you appreciate because you like the engagement.

When he trusts you enough, he won't question your orders but will ask for elaboration if any is needed, also the person you ask to sum up everything you have said, his memory is amazing like that

He's got exceptional fighting skills and the talent to predict the opponent's moves, was the same reason he earned a promotion despite his slight inability to work with others.

Very rarely comes to you with problems, often comes when he has the solution as well, similar to a report

Never lies so you can expect to hear the only and complete truth from him, says things as they are not as they should be so is reliable and dependant.

Usually the two of you spar, so if the opportunity arises in the field, you are able to fight together and once, you prevent his torso from being slashed.

He is surprised but quickly recovers and expresses his gratitude after it.

It's just work after all

Hwiyoung I Kim Youngkyun:

Puts in that little extra effort to make sure that the team's spirit is uplifted, like the the mood maker

Is easy to speak too and seek comfort from, when you were just a new group and you told him the truth about how you felt being the leader, he gave you some advice but feeling that it may have been too much, he ended it with, ''Just go for it.''.

A real sweet guy, for example, opens the door and lets people by, basically operates by the principle that you should people how you want to be treated, also goes for showing care or displaying kindness.

He's wounded in the leg, he's clutching it to try and stop the bleeding but he's down, the pain is so overwhelming that he's thinking how anyone could get up and run away and for a second, he even contemplates that this could be the end.

It's when you save him from the situation, let him lean on you till you find the medics, stay with him in the hospital and check up on him that he's going to put in all the effort he can to watch your back.

You tell to ease up and that's it is no big deal, because in line with his personality, you know that he would do the same

The two of you grow much, much closer after that

He no longer feels awkward to confide in his team leader and that's how you spend the end of your mission together after he almost dies, drinking beer and watching the stars in the night

Chani:

Chani panics, freezes as a result of the fear that had almost instigated his worst nightmares.

He's close to breaking down but rather than something simple like a single emotion or characteristics, he is conflicted. He knows that you are safe but his mind can not comprehend what you just did for him.

He's thinking that the your actions are multiple, behaviour complex, feeling safe amongst the unsafe environment because he knows that he can go home.

He's in shock, he's laying on the ground, kicked there, propping himself on his elbows after experiencing such massive fear that he would die.

You walk towards him, he wants to cry, for you to comfort him and tell him that you've got him but he doesn't say anything, he keeps this guard that when he stops along the way, he holds your hand and tells you thank you.

''There's nothing- I mean, I don't... What just happened was, thank you'' he says, fumbling for the correct words, wanting to attribute the success of his living to you.

But that was when he was a novice and you were teaching him the tricks of the trade.

Now he is much more confident, he knows how to compartmentalise and is frequently remarked as one of the best soldiers on and off duty.

He even saves you once, save is a stretch because he played a part and when you thanked him, he said that it was nothing compared to what you once did.

He was so cool about it that you teased him all the way till you dropped him to his house.

[titoist]

a conversation between two imaginary people A: what do you mean, exactly, when you say you want to "become a person"? you certainly seem to be implying that you do not consider your current self to be human... that feels a little histrionic, does it not? B: well, it depends. and i'll be the first to admit that it's certainly nebulous, not really belonging to any one definition, and its meaning really can drastically shift depending on my mood.... but i think it should be pertinent to firmly establish a line in the sand between saying that i am not "human", and saying that i am not a "person". one can be a person without being human - as seems to be growing...more and more in vogue - and one can be human without being a person. it's complicated, and i think that i, to some extent, consider myself to be neither. but for the sake of the answer, let's assume here that we are referring strictly to the idea of me not being "human". well, my definition of "human" is a bit fluid & has never really been defined all that well. but, essentially, it is what i consider to be the penultimate traits of humanity(species, group) - love, kindness, care towards others, a genuine sense of innocence, and so on... & - what might be the most crucial aspect - a childlike indifference towards the alien prescriptions imposed onto society by capital and exploitation. to simply be able to want to do something, and then do it, without so much as a consultation of reason, or a consideration of the myriad of manifestations that seek to reduce life to representation! to friendlily embrace others, & to seek to always make a room warmer(if only ever so slightly) simply by your occupation of it. these qualities are what, in my mind, constitute "Humanity" - a full achievement of which would be a "Heaven" in one's mind. and likewise, any callous lapses in this "Humanity" should feel incredibly painful, like a gaping, gnashing wound. in this sense, "Humanity" is presented as an ideal that one should always strive to embody to the best of their ability, rather than something that one simply *is* on account of their existence. A: that definition of "humanity" seems very naive - the thought that one could even *achieve* such a state of full humanity even more-so. it seems to me like you're just setting yourself up for disappointment and disillusion, considering that there's no real practical way one could... well, practically impose this worldview on a mass scale. B: it not being imposed is kind of the point, i would think. ideally, people would simply be inspired to-- A: --right, well, not to impose, per se, but certainly to secure its functionality in wider society. practically, pragmatically. banking entirely on the inspiration and goodwill of humanity is not very smart.. B: i suppose i can see where you're coming from. it certainly seems untenable, as cultural and global cynicism has kind of been the repugnant norm of the last 70 or so years. capitalistic quantitative centralization seems so thoroughly embedded in all things, it's quite easy for one to lose hope at times... plus, you know, there are the actual, practical questions of how such a non-capitalistic society would organize itself. A: one thinks immediately of the anarchists during the spanish civil war - their lack of real authority, their lack of organization and experience, ultimately played a role in the loss of the republicans and the triumph of the fascists. or even the Makhnovists, who basically derided workers for expecting paychecks and protection.

B: right... and then one can raise the question of whether anyone even *can* achieve my definition of humanity, realistically? whether or not it's possible to ever truly reach such an idealized state... and, if not, does that make it all meaningless? you know, it's this type of stuff that's really kept me up at times, and i've been tossing and turning it in my head for god knows how long.. but i think the conclusion i've come to is that, really, it doesn't matter that much to me. not in the sense of, uhhh, like, not caring about what one has to do to achieve that state, that society. but that... functionally, it doesn't even matter if it really is achievable or not - it's enough for any given person to simply try to embody that spirit, and for any potential society to simply attempt to allow people to pursue such to the best of its ability. that's enough to make a world at least marginally better. life is not merely something to get through. and i feel like with discussions of whether or not such ideas could even 'functionally operate' on a society-wide scale, it does the whole thing a really genuine disservice, by putting an emphasis on the idea that it's an Ideology, a Sect that seeks to reform society in its image... which, i don't think it is - or, at least, that's not what i think it should be, and that's not what i'm treating it as. this is just... again, a personal, philosophical framework. though there's a lot of other intricacies and complicated stuff here that's not easy to explain.

[uncloseted]

Hi Christina, hope you're doing well and staying healthy! I've been seeing more stuff about the enneagram lately, and I saw you analyzed gen one a while back. I was curious if you could also do the main characters of gen 2 and 3-- thank you!!

I actually did this once before and then I lost  my entire file because my computer crashed.  I’m super interested to know what you all think!

Generation 2:

Freddie:  Freddie is a classic 9w1, “The Dreamer”.  He’s constantly trying to maintain peace and harmony in his life and avoid conflict, whether internal or interpersonal.  Some people accuse him of being boring, but it’s not true- he’s just willing to go along with other people to keep the peace.  He’s accepting, trusting, stable, and supportive, but he can also simplify problems and minimize upsetting things for his own peace of mind.  He has a lot of trouble with inertia (“to be or not to be?”) and caring enough about things to act on them.  At his best, he’s receptive, patient, accepting, and an emotional rock for the people around him.  But at his worst, he can be ineffectual and repressed and has a tendency towards tuning out reality for things that are more

pleasant.

Cook: 8w7, “The Maverick”.  Cook is self-confident, strong, and assertive.  He’s resourceful and decisive, but can also be egocentric and domineering over those around him.  Eights feel like they must control their environment and the people around them, which can lead to them being confrontational and intimidating.  Cook has a problem with his temper and allowing himself to be vulnerable.  He fears being harmed or controlled by others and seeks to be in control of his own life at all times and at all costs.  He wants to be self-reliant, to prove his strength, and to be important in his world.  At his worst, he’s destructive, ruthless, combative, hard-hearted, belligerent, and violent, engaging in criminal acts in an attempt to protect himself.  At his best, he’s a natural leader, authoritative and decisive, carrying others with his strength.

JJ: 6w5, “The Defender”.  6s are reliable, hard-working, and responsible. They’re loyal, committed, and security-oriented.  They fear being without support and guidance and they want security, to feel supported by others, to have certainty and reassurance, and to lessen their anxiety and insecurity. Like other 6s, JJ can be cautious and indecisive, but also defensive, evasive, and anxious.  At his worst, he becomes panicky, volatile, and self-disparaging, with feelings of inferiority.  He sees himself as defenseless and seeks out a stronger authority to resolve his problems (usually Cook, but sometimes Freddie). He can be reactive and defiant when pushed (when he goes to the brothel with Cook comes to mind).  He invests his time and energy into the things he believes will be safe and stable, and thrives on organization and structure. As he grows throughout the series, he becomes more self-affirming, trusting of himself at others, and “independent yet symbiotically interdependent and cooperative as an equal”.

Katie: Katie is a 3w2, “The Charmer”. She’s self-assured, attractive, charming, ambitious, competent, and energetic, but also status-conscious and driven for social achievement. She’s a social climber, interested in status and success. She can be overly concerned with h er image and what others think of her, and has problems with competitiveness, even when the people around her don’t realize they’re in a competition at all (her relationship with Effy is a good example of this).  As she grows in the series, we see her become self-accepting and authentic.  She becomes a role model who inspires others.  She’s driven by a desire to feel valuable and worthwhile, to be affirmed, to distinguish herself from others, to have attention, to be admired, and to impress others.  At her worst, she becomes vindictive, attempting to ruin other people’s happiness through devious and deceptive actions. She can be jealous of others and as a result of that insecurity, becomes a self-promoter with inflated notions about herself and her talents.  She can be highly concerned with how she’s perceived and morphs into what other people expect her to be, without thinking about what she wants.

Emily: Emily is a good example of a 2w1, “The Servant”.  She’s empathetic, sincere, friendly, and warm-hearted, but she can also be people-pleasing and does things for others in order to feel needed, even if they don’t want her help (Naomi’s political campaign).  She fears being unwanted and unloved by the people she cares most about (Naomi and Katie).  What she wants most is to be loved, to express her feelings for others, and to be needed and appreciated.  She’s at her best when she can help people achieve their goals.  At her worst, though, she believes that she must always put other people first if she wants to be loved herself (we see this particularly in her relationship with Katie), which makes her angry, bitter, and resentful towards others.  In this state, she can be manipulative and self-serving, taking the role of the victim and instilling guilt in others (we see this particularly after Sophia dies).

Naomi: Naomi is a 1w9, “The Idealist”.  Like Naomi, ones are conscientious, principled, and ethical, with a strong sense of right and wrong and a desire to improve the world.  However, she’s also afraid to make mistakes, and can slip into being critical and perfectionistic, even to the point of being hypocritical.  She has problems with resentment and impatience.  Naomi is driven by a fear that she’s defective and wrong (both in terms of her sexuality, but also in terms of her actions), and is motivated by being right, being consistent with her ideals, improving the world, to justify herself, and to be beyond criticism from others.

Effy: 4w5, “The Bohemian”.  I had a lot of trouble deciding between 4w5 or 2 for Effy.  It’s hard to tell what type she is because her mental illness impacts her personality in a very real way. Ultimately, I chose 4, even though I do think her core fear and desire line up more directly with 2- she’s afraid of being unwanted and unworthy of being loved, and her basic desire is to be loved for who she is.  Like 4s, Effy is self-aware, sensitive, and reserved.  She’s emotionally honest and personal, but can also be moody.  She withholds herself from others due to feeling vulnerable and defective, and has problems with melancholy, self-indulgence, and self-pity.  She wants to find herself for who she is outside of her mental illness, wants to withdraw to protect herself, wants to take care of her emotional needs before attending to anyone else’s (Pandora’s birthday party comes to mind), and to attract a rescuer (her relationship with Freddie is this in some ways). 4s often feel that they’re unlike other people, and because of that, nobody can understand them or love them adequately (“sometimes I think I was born backwards, come out me mum the wrong way”).  They see themselves as uniquely talented, possessing special gifts (Effy’s perceptiveness), and so they can be self-confident, but simultaneously they see themselves as uniquely disadvantaged and flawed.  While they feel different from other people and distance themselves, 4s don’t really want to be alone. They want to connect with someone who fully understands themselves and their feelings.  At her best, she can be sensitive and intuitive, gentle, tactful, emotionally honest, and compassionate towards others.  At her worst, she becomes hopeless and self-destructive, tormented by morbid thoughts.  She believes that other people are the problem, so she drives them away even when they’re trying to help her.

Pandora: This might be controversial to people who know the Enneagram, but I think that Pandora is a 5w4, “The Iconoclast”.  At first this seems unusual, since 5s are seen as intense and cerebral, words that we wouldn’t generally think of to describe Pandora. But 5s greatest fear is being useless, helpless, or incapable, sentiments that Pandora frequently echoes throughout the series.  Her basic desire is to possess knowledge, to understand the environment, and to have things figured out.  As we find out as the series progresses, she does have a curious, cerebral element to her, to the point where she goes to Harvard to study history.  Pandora is alert, insightful, and curious.  She’s inventive and innovative, but she can be eccentric.  At her worst, she disintegrates towards 7.  She becomes isolated from reality, eccentric and unstable,  and can be detached from the “real world”.  At her best, she’s open minded, perceptive, and excited by learning new things, particularly as she begins to build self-confidence.

Thomas: Thomas is a 1w2, “The Advocate”.  Like Naomi, he’s conscientious, principled, and ethical.  He strives to be honorable in everything he does. He feels a strong obligation to his family, even at his own expense, which is where the 2 wing comes in.  He’s well-organized, orderly, and fastidious, holds himself to high standards, and is always trying to improve his life and the lives of those around him.  He’s willing to sacrifice comfort and stability for the hope of a better life, both when he leaves the Congo and once he gets to Bristol.  At his worst, he preaches doing the right thing but does the opposite (sleeping with Andrea), and can be dogmatic and self-righteous.

Generation 3:

Mini: 3w4, “The Professional”.  Mini is afraid of failure, which she defines as being like her mother.  She throws herself into everything she does in order to succeed, regardless of what she has to do to get it.  Mini is attractive, charming, and ambitious, but she’s also overly concerned with her image and what other people think of her. Like Katie, she’s very competitive, even with people who don’t realize they’re in a competition (for Mini, this is Liv).  At her worst, she’s exploitative and opportunistic, willing to do “whatever it takes” to maintain her image of being superior to others.  She can be devious, deceptive, and untrustworthy, maliciously betraying and sabotaging people to get ahead of them.  She’s often jealous of others, even when she shouldn’t be, and can be vindictive in an attempt to ruin other people’s happiness.  At her best, though, she’s self-assured and competent.  She has a full heart, and she becomes gracious and motivated.

Liv: 6w7, “The Confidant”. Liv is committed and security oriented.  Given her tumultuous home situation, her family often relies on her to provide stability, and her friendships are similar.  She’s reliable, responsible, and trustworthy.  She’s an excellent “troubleshooter”, foreseeing problems and fostering cooperation between people.  However, she can also become defensive and anxious, running on stress while complaining about it. She can be both cautious and indecisive while also being reactive, defiant, and rebellious.  She fears that she’ll be without support and guidance and searches out the security and support that she doesn’t get from her family in others (particularly her friends). She’s loyal to others because she doesn’t want to be abandoned or without that support, and she seeks out people who are stronger than she is to provide a sense of stability (which is the foundation of her friendship with Mini).  To compensate for her insecurities, she can become sarcastic and belligerent, blaming other people for her problems.  At her best, she’s appealing, endearing, lovable, and affectionate, good at bonding with others and forming permanent relationships and alliances with others.

Franky: 4w5, “The Bohemian”.  Franky is self-aware, sensitive, and reserved.  She’s emotionally honest, creative, and personal, but can also be moody and self conscious. She sees herself as being defective (“when I was six, the teacher asked me to think of something beautiful. I said 9/11, I saw it on the TV in this care home with the sound on mute. The teacher told me how many people had died and all the other kids in the class cried and I knew then that I was… wrong. I guess that’s why my parents gave me up. Because they knew too. Right from the beginning.”).  She wants to find herself and her personal significance, to create and surround herself with beauty, to express herself and her individuality, and to protect her self-image.  She can struggle with melancholy and self-pity. She feels that she’s missing something in herself, but she has difficulty identifying exactly what that thing is- in truth, the thing she’s missing harkens back to the question on the whiteboard in series 5- “does choice define identity?”  Franky is unsure about aspects of her self-image and feels that she lacks a clear and stable identity, particularly in interpersonal situations, so throughout her series 5 episode she tries on different identities to see if she might be able to choose one that fits.  She has negative self-image and low self-esteem, and she has trouble letting go of feelings from the past.  Sometimes, she has become so attached to longing and disappointment that she’s unable to recognize the good things in her life (particularly true when it comes to her parents).  At her best, she’s profoundly creative, inspired, self-renewing, self-aware, introspective, and individualistic.

Grace: 9w1, “The Dreamer”.  Grace is a chameleon, a classic trait of 9s.  She is who she needs to be for everyone she’s around, and that can be disconcerting for a lot of people because it seems like she doesn’t have a “true” identity.  But 9s are the crown of the Enneagram- they encompass elements of all the other types- so when she’s being a chameleon, Grace is being true to herself.  She’s accepting, trusting, and provides stability to her more chaotic friends.  She’s creative, optimistic, and supportive, but she’s often too willing to go along with others to keep the peace (like the time she agrees to do cocaine to get out of an uncomfortable discussion), and she avoids conflict and tension even when they need to be had.  She’s afraid to be separated from her family and her friends, and she seeks out inner stability and peace of mind.  She often acts as the peacemaker between her friends and between friend groups.  At her worst, she’s repressed and disengaged, and she disappears into the world of fairytales to avoid confronting reality.

Rich: 4w3, “The Enthusiast”.  Rich’s deepest fear is that he has no significance in the world.  4s desire uniqueness and personal identity, and long to be authentically different from others. He’s sensitive, reserved, emotionally honest, and creative, but tends to be very moody and self conscious.  He withdraws from others due to fears of being vulnerable and defective, and feels disdainful and exempt from ordinary ways of living.  He has problems with melancholy, self-indulgence, and self-pity. Fours often feel that they’re missing something in themselves, but have difficulty figuring out what exactly that is.  To cope, Rich looks for himself through easily adoptable outward identities which he clings to (“being metal”).  He sees himself as fundamentally different from others and needs to express that in his physical presentation and interests as well as in his personality. He fears that no one can understand him or love him adequately, which is why his relationship with Grace really shakes up his life and his self-image.  Deep down, Rich is a romantic, looking for someone to come into his life and appreciate the secret self he’s hiding from the world.  4s typically have problems with negative self-image and low self esteem, which they compensate for by cultivating a fantasy self- an idealized image of themselves that’s built up in their imaginations (again, for Rich, that’s “metal Rich”).  However, they often fall short of becoming their idealized self (Rich doesn’t actually play metal music and he’s not actually part of that “scene”).  At his best, he’s self-aware, introspective, true to himself, and sensitive.  At his worst, he can be self-absorbed and introverted, moody and hypersensitive, shy and self-conscious.

Alo: 7w6, “The Entertainer”.  Alo’s a pretty classic Enneagram 7.  He’s extroverted, optimistic, versatile, and spontaneous.  Playful, and high spirited, but also scattered and undisciplined.  He’s constantly seeking new and exciting experiences, even when the people around him aren’t interested, and often without doing his research first.  He struggles with impatience and impulsiveness.  He wants to maintain his freedom and happiness, to avoid missing out on experiences, to keep himself occupied, and to avoid pain.  At his worst, he’s running from himself and from aging (we see this a lot in his storyline with Poppy), acting out impulses rather than dealing with his frustrations.  At his best, he’s excitable and enthusiastic about everything.  He becomes joyful and appreciative of what he has.

Nick: 8 with equal wings, both “The Maverick” and “The Bear”.   Nick is a born leader, as we see when he captains his rugby team.  He’s self-confident, strong, and assertive, but also protective, resourceful, and decisive. He can be somewhat domineering, particularly early on in his relationship with Mini, and can at times be confrontational and intimidating.  As we can see in his confrontations with his father, he has problems with his temper and dislikes being controlled by others.  As he grows, he becomes magnanimous and a protector of others.  He’s self-assertive, self-confident, and strong, having learned to stand up for what he needs and wants.  He has a resourceful, “can do” attitude and can “make things happen”.

Matty: 4w5, “The Bohemian”. Like our other 4s, Matty is sensitive, reserved, moody, and self-conscious. He’s disdainful towards others and feels exempt from ordinary ways of living.  He has problems with melancholy, self-indulgence, and self-pity.  He feels like he is fundamentally defective when compared to his brother, and worries that he has no true purpose or significance.  He compensates for this by creating a fantasy self who is mysterious, brooding, and intellectual, but this image of himself falls apart somewhat when tested. While he feels different from others, he doesn’t really want to be alone, and we see him searching for his person who can connect with him and understand his feelings throughout generation 3.  At his best he’s individualistic and introspective, with a romantic, artistic approach to life, heightening reality through fantasy, passion, and imagination.   At his worst he’s self-inhibiting and angry with himself, depressed and alienated from others and ashamed.

[spiritpriestess]

🔮 What do you need to release? 🔮

Hi sunshines ☀

Today's pick a card reading is all about what you need to release and let go of.

If you're new to pick a card readings, basically you just have to choose a pile out of the three and then scroll down to the description. The important thing is to pick with your intuition and not your eyes.

Take a few deep breaths, close your eyes and ask yourself

'What do I need to release and let go of?'

Open your eyes and see which pile you're most drawn to. It can be the one your eyes first landed on, or it can be one you can't look away from. You may even hear a number or get a certain feeling when you look at the right pile. You can also choose based on the crystals if that's more helpful. In order they are sunstone, rhodochrosite and malachite.

So without further ado, let's see what these cards have for us today 🕊️💖🔮☀️

🕯️🔮☁️☀️🌻🕊️⚓🌫️⚓🕊️🌻☀️☁️🔮🕯️

Group 1

So the first interesting thing is that I don't do reversals with my Lunasol tarot but this card jumped out and landed on my desk face down, fully in reverse, so I was like, okay I get it 😂

So upright, the five of wands means a sort of conflict, could be with other people or an inner conflict as well. In reverse, I feel like this says that it's time to give up that meaningless fight or conflict you might have with someone else, or within yourself. The Kuan Yin card under it confirms this as well, the message is 'Release judgements about yourself and others, and focus on the love and light that is within everyone'

For some of you, this could mean that you're conflict avoidant but it's time to face stuff that's really bothering you, and again, could be with someone else, but for most of you I feel like this talks about an inner conflict and you might not even be fully aware of it. It's time to look within and at ourselves, as the Self Reflection card shows, but do that with compassion and understanding. The outer world is a reflection of our inner world, and so if this conflict is with someone else, that's also why self reflection is needed, so you realize what it is that's inside you that you manifest in your relationship, or that gets mirrored back at you.

So you need to release judgement, resistance to conflict or a conflict if there is one an the fear of the unexpected, as the reversed card shows. How this can apply, if there's a situation where you don't know the outcome and it's making your anxious, then this conflict can be about a situation and your judgement about it. For example, you got an opportunity to do something you've dreamed about, or haven't done yet, but you don't know how it'll go, it's out of your comfort zone and you got anxious and started piling up these reasons why it could go wrong, meaning, you created judgements about it. But the LoA applies here as well (and well, everywhere), if you focus on all the reasons something can go wrong, rest assured, you'll create one of those circumstances. So as Kuan Yin says, 'Release judgements about yourself and others, and focus on the love and light that is within everyone' (or everything). Where your attention goes, energy flows. Focus on the positive and good things about someone, yourself or a situation and it'll multiply, giving you more of those things.

This is all I'm getting, I hope it resonated with you, please let me know what you think 💖 ✨ 🔮 ☀️

Group 2

So while I was shuffling and asking the question, i heard 'fear of attachments' and it never happened before, that I heard a message so clearly especially for a pick a card reading and I really feel like this is the theme of this reading.

So with the ten of wands, it's about burden, taking on more than you can bear but not asking for help. The Page on the other hand is a positive, hopeful card, bringing good news. So there might be something, an idea, a project or a relationship that's on the horizon and part of you wants to start, but the other part of you is scared of the burdens it can bring, and again, the attachments. Part of you wants to be free, even though this new something can be beneficial and fulfilling to you.

Then we have the Ostara card, 'It is the perfect time for you to start new projects, access new ideas, and give birth to new conditions', so again, something new is about to, or have already entered or started in your life but you're afraid of pursuing it.

And then we have Surrender in reverse, which strengthens the meaning of the ten of wands card, you're afraid, or taking on and carrying all that burden, whatever they may be and are afraid to let them go and to surrender. I don't know what this new thing in your life is, but I'm feeling positive vibes from it, whatever it is, you need it and it's for your highest good. Release your worries and anxieties and resistance. Don't be afraid of surrendering. Let things flow and go with it. Ask for help of you need it. And to those it applies to, release the fear of attachment. Ask yourself why you're afraid of it. Notice what comes up and how many of those things are just worries created by past experiences or social conditioning. Then work on releasing them because they don't serve you and in life, we always get what we subconsciously believe in. If you believe this new project or relationship will only give you burdens and worries, then that's what you'll manifest. But you can change your mindset anytime and look at things in a more optimistic, trusting way. And with this new thing, you don't need to be afraid, this is something that's gonna help you and you just need to surrender and allow life to work its magic.

I hope this helps and resonated with you, please let me know what you think 🔮☀️🕊️

Group 3

So the eight of swords means being blinded by your own thoughts, a prisoner in your own mind. As bad this may sound, you're there willingly, no one is forcing you to be there and as you can see on the card, there's a ladder leading down from that prison, you can easily untie your hands and just leave.

Then we have two oracle cards that both deal with going outside so this signifies that meaning, get out of your head

'You have been indoors too long. Go outside and get some fresh air'

'Spend time near water, such as a lake, river, or the ocean, to recharge your batteries'

So some of you might feel like you're trapped, going in circles and you don't seem to achieve much and you keep repeating the same mistakes. The way to solve this is to get out of your head (and possibly your room as well). You can, and probably should, actually go out in nature, wherever it is, it can be a forest if there's one near you, or to a body of water as the Sulis card suggests, but if nothing else, a nearby park or just a walk around the block is still enough. Do some walking meditation, notice the things you see, hear, feel, smell or even taste. Just focus on the outside world for a while.

Then we have the Wisdom card and how it's laid down and the girl is waving at the person on the tarot card, to me this means that you don't find wisdom if you're trapped in your own mind. Of course when we want answers, and in general, it's advised to look within as we know everything we need to know, but there's a difference between looking within objectively and with an open mind, and staying too much in our heads, clouded by doubts and fears.

And so if there's something you've been trying to get an answer to, this is telling you that you won't find it there but if you get out of your head, get some fresh air and come back to the situation some time later. Like how artists stand back every once in a while to look at their painting from another perspective to notice any mistakes.

The Beginning card is in reverse, but the first message I'm getting is from how the cards are spread, again, and it's like, wisdom girl is waving at you to go outside, because your new beginning, what you've been searching for waits for you outside. Step out of your comfort zone. You've been in your own prison for too long, it's time to release your fear and this way of living and step into your new beginning. Spirit/The Universe is telling you to go outside, observe the outer world and nature and try to find your answer there. Don't be afraid of change as change is always needed for us to grow and learn and it doesn't have to mean anything bad, it's only the labels we give to these things.

So, whatever it is that's keeping you stuck, try to release that. If it's mental, just don't even think about it, get dressed and go out. What I mean by this, if you wanted to draw but felt really demotivated, if you just started gathering your supplies, sat down at your desk, searched for some reference if needed, chances are, you'll continue with that task because you already got so far. So that's what I mean by 'don't think about it'.

For some of you though, this can simply mean that you've been indoors too long and you need some fresh air and some interaction with the outer world. Or if you have any resistance to going outside, then that's what you need to release.

I almost forgot but we have a 2 and a 22 on these cards as well. 2s mean balance, harmony, partnerships, maintaining a positive outlook, seeing the bigger picture (get out of your head) and it tells you to pay attention to your thoughts. Not on a way that you get obsessed with them and re enter that prison, but to become aware of your repeating thoughts and how they affect you. Release the thoughts that are limiting and keeping you stuck and think more abundantly and positively. Obviously we'll still feel sad or angry from time to time, and we should feel those emotions, but we should always strive for balance. After we have felt what we needed to, we need to let it go and not dwell on it.

I hoped this resonated with you, please let me know what you think 💖🔮☀️🕊️