#but i hope i pinpointed the source of your Issue with them anon? thanks so much for the ask

[iridescentscarecrow]

do you think fujimoto is going in the direction where we'll see asa and denji in a relationship. it just doesn't sit right with me. i think they might become very good friends but them in a relationship is so off to me despite how much their dynamic works. it just doesnt feel like something fujimoto would do. what do you think

their dynamic feels off because we can't ever imagine fjmt giving denji a healthy endgame relationship /s.

no but for real this time, yep, anon i get you. i think this mostly stems from how their relationship itself is Set Up at least so far and i think it'll be a lot more interesting with time.

umm. to explain: fjmt's style of writing is not only relational but also one of active sides (characters) feeding into passive mains which is why part 2's deuteragonist based plot is so Interesting to me. i mean asa and denji parallel each other rather organically with how they view desires and normality, with their twin connect to intimacy and ambition. it's really quite blatant but i think where asaden hasn't established itself yet is the interaction of these values seen Directly in their interactions.

if you consider something like denreze, you'd find that both their parallels and the recognition of their mirrorship informs their interactions throughout the bomb devil arc. it's wonderfully raw and Very Real because it's the theme of identity (that carries over into part 2), there's that implicit Awareness of the other side from both reze and denji later on.

in part 2, identity is still pivotal but the quality of the asaden interactions so far lies in their relative ignorance of the other. they challenge each other inwardly but not Outwardly; you see them juxtaposed but you don't see them grapple with this juxtaposition. it's still ridiculously cute but i struggle to link this current cuteness to What Will Happen because i don't think fjmt writes conclusions to relationships like that. there's a lot more to come and i think we'd see their dynamic shift quite intensely when they do end up uncovering each other's identities but right now their interactions are rather a channel for their Own Desires rather than an entangling of that Desire in the other.

i can't hope to predict What exactly fjmt would end up doing but i do think all this set up is for a reason and i'm anticipating some sort of catharsis at Some Point which would make me invest in them a bit more :3.

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: INFJ, 27. Hi. I am a translator and I’m tired of the work I do. Admittedly, the fact that I work for an agency whose values and principles are not perfectly aligned with mine and occasionally has me do work that I’m not proud of might have contributed to this frustration. But I had the chance to do a traineeship abroad for a couple of months, and my feelings didn’t change. I also met many exceptional people from various backgrounds, with greater skills and experience than I, which brought into question what I thought were my unique assets and talents.

More background info: I majored in translation after dropping out of an economics course, which I absolutely hated at the time, convinced it was the right choice. I don’t want to go back to economics, but I also feel regretful of the choice I made. I didn’t know enough to have a realistic picture of the field.

I feel like my hands are tied now, because there are not many other job prospects or career ventures I can undertake with this specific major. This may be a cumulative issue of: facing my own limitations/hitting some kind of plateau, not feeling like a good professional and as if my best is not and will never be enough, the low pay, the fact that this is a job that involves a high degree of uncertainty all the time, coupled with tight deadlines, and I don’t feel able to cope with all of it.

I do cope with it, but it’s chipping away at something inside. I have had problems with passion and motivation and have felt very lost, particularly when it comes to career and what I can contribute in general. I’m considering whether I should try studying something else again, or specialise in a specific area, or somehow venture into a different field. The prospect of starting over does scare me a little, since I’m not in my early 20s anymore.

I understand any job has their own uncertainties, but maybe not to the same extent. I have realized I don’t know myself well at all, so I’ve considered doing aptitude tests even – I think I’ve completely lost touch with what I can offer to the world. I was hoping you could give me some perspective and clarity, maybe some key points to reflect on for a future decision and help me see if there’s any unrealistic beliefs I’m holding onto. Thank you.

-----------------------

Questions for reflection:

1) What does it mean to "start over"? Are you saying that in the years you've been working, you have not learned anything which could be utilized in another job/career? I suppose if you're nothing but an empty shell of a person faking your way through life, then it would be reasonable to fear starting over, because you'd finally have to face down your own vacuousness. If that's not the case, then your thinking is extreme and won't lead you to make rational evaluations. Perhaps what you need is a career counselor to guide you. They could help you organize your thoughts and weigh your options. They could take you through aptitude assessments to pinpoint your assets and identify potential for development. They could help you conceptualize your soft skills and transferable skills and how they may be applied to future endeavors.

2) What do you believe you should be? Are you saying that you're worthless unless you can be "the best", live up to some "perfect ideal", or achieve "greatness" in whatever form you imagine? Do you define people as "good"/"worthy" only through how skilled, competent, or successful they are in their career? Do you believe that the main source of meaning in life is derived through paid work? Whatever standards you use to evaluate your worth, ensure that you have chosen them wisely, otherwise, you'll keep suffering self-esteem problems (unhealthy Fe).

3) What do you imagine your life should look like? Are you saying that there's only one right way to live life and you're doomed as soon as you've deviated from that path? If this is what you believe, then you've trapped yourself within your own naive and rigid thinking. Life is full of uncertainty and ambiguity. You could choose the negative interpretation and descend into fear or pessimism. Or you could choose the positive interpretation and embrace the freedom to explore new possibilities. Your perception of yourself and your life is fully within your control. Until you realize this, you'll keep trapping yourself in limiting ideas and false beliefs (unhealthy Ni).

[i-love-side-characters]

hot take for the aoas fandom but i don’t ship curaday. not bc i just don’t like the ship but bc i don’t like how faraday was curie’s previous mentor. idk... it just seems manipulative and predatory to me that they ended up together with the power dynamic so unbalanced.

hmm i definitely see where you're coming with that. and don't worry its fine that you don't ship them!!! that's perfectly acceptable!!!

i have to say a few things first on the predatory aspect, if that's alright. also disclaimer this is quite rambly, i'm sorry i'm just very tired.

additional notes:

important points/things i want to stress in bold

quotes are italicized

thunderhead + the toll quote used!!! not really spoilers, but careful if you haven't read books 2 and 3!!!

if you're not a coward here's my askbox

now in my opinion, there are a few things that might make it seem as though curaday is a very predatory relationship. one, the mentor/apprentice problem. two, the age gap. three, the essence of their romantic relationship. because you didn't state why you felt it was predatory, i'll adress those issues.

1) the nature of their relationship during the mentor years

the "original" curaday as such wasn't really a romantic relationship. there was no hint of the relationship between the two while faraday was mentoring curie. at the time when their relationship was only mentor/apprentice and indeed adult/minor, there were no requited feelings from faraday.

"....then tore [the journal entry] out the next day, when i broke down and confessed my love with eyeball-rolling melodrama. [...] [scythe faraday], on the other hand, was a gentleman [...] and let me down as easily as he could." ― scythe curie, (page 347, scythe)

just to be thorough, here are several definitions of "let down." all links in sources.

convey bad or disappointing news in a considerate way, so as to spare the person's self-respect. ― idioms free dictionary

to try to give someone bad news in a way that does not upset them too much. ― macmillan dictionary

an unrelated expression is let someone down easy. this phrase refers to breaking up with someone in a relationship in such a way that they are not devastated of overly sad. ― writing explained

so it's clearly implied that faraday said no to her. after curie confesses her feelings, she describes what happen after that.

"i lived in [scythe faraday's] house, and remained his apprentice, for two more awkward months." ― scythe curie (page 347, scythe)

note that there is no mention of there ever being a romantic relationship between the two scythes during the remainder of the mentorship. this shows that no adult/minor predatory behaviour had occurred between the two scythes.

just to add on, some thoughts from my friend ref. ( @jam-is-my-food )

"if their romance took place when or anytime around when curie was his apprentice, yes. absolutely that would be a tilted power dynamic and uncomfortable and Not Good."

this, as well as the quotes, removes the "predatory" aspect of your concern. but that's just my opinion!!! you can still believe that is an unhealthy and wrong relationship. but personally i don't think the mentor/apprentice concern is a factor, since the romantic aspect took place much later.

2) the age gap during the years of their romantic relationship

there is a 5 year age gap between the two scythes. according to the wiki, at the start of scythe, curie is 219 years old, and faraday is 224. during scythe curie's explanation of her crush on faraday, she pinpoints their exact ages.

"i was seventeen and full of righteous indignation at a world that was still heaving in the throes of transformation." ― scythe curie (page 345, scythe)

"i was seventeen, remember. childish in so many ways. i thought myself in love." ― scythe curie (page 346, scythe)

"but at twenty-two, [scythe faraday] was just as inexperienced in such matters as i was." ― scythe curie, (page 346, scythe)

the five year age gap during the mentorship would have made it an adult/minor relationship, but as they grew older that simply isn't the case.

"then, nearly fifty years later, when we both had turned our first corner and were seeing the world through youthful eyes once more―but this time with the wisdom of age on our side―we became lovers." ― scythe curie (page 347, scythe)

they became romantically involved until fifty years had passed. which would put curie at around 67, and faraday at around 72. curie even outright says that they had "the wisdom of age on [their] side." this shows that curie believed that both parties were mature in their starting of a romantic connection.

here is some more input from ref. ( @/jam-is-my-food )

"and, adding on to [the earlier statement], if faraday was the one who had liked marie when she was his apprentice. even if a lot of years had passed, that would i think still make it inherently predatory and yikes.

but the thing is, that's not what happened. all that happened when she apprenticed for him was that marie had a crush on michael.

and he turned her down. because she was a kid. and that's the end of it."

this, i would say, addresses the general complaint of the age gap between the two. most often people believe that because faraday apprenticed curie that he was a lot older but that's not true. the gap is only 5 years. now that absolutely does not make their relationship "not predatory", but it does show that both parties were mature in their decisions.

3) after their romantic relationship + friendship

now this part is less technical than the others. this is mostly my opinions. but just to start off, i want to look at their relationship after the 7 deaths and 70 years.

your feeling of their relationship is that it is "manipulative and predatory". now i've never been in an unhealthy relationship before, but i don't believe this is one (please correct me if i'm wrong! i am not speaking from experience here and could easily make a mistake!).

out of everything, their treatment of one another after the romantic relationship stands out to me the most. personally if their romantic had been unhealthy in that sense, i don't believe they would have stayed friends as they did.

i had written an essay a while about curie and faraday together. if you could read it that would be great! however i'm linking my friend nisha's ( @genyyasafin ) reblog of it, as she adds in a small bit at the end about how faraday humanizes curie. [ here ] is the link.

as i was saying, i don't think this is a predatory and manipulative relationship simply from the way they act afterwards. they are described as old friends constantly, and that friendship seems natural, to me at least. now you could be saying that this is a manipulative relationship and neither of them notice, but i don't think that's true.

“seven deaths, and seventy years later, many things had changed. we remained old friends after that, but nothing more.” ― scythe curie (page 348, scythe)

"i have observed the rise and fall of the romantic relationship between [scythe curie and scythe faraday], as well as the many years of devoted friendship that has followed." ― the thunderhead (page 383, thunderhead)

these two show that even the thunderhead, which is an incredibly knowledgeable force, does not seem to be troubled by their relationship.

not to mention this quote:

"other scythes―the ones i'm friendly with―will call me marie." ― scythe curie (page 235, scythe)

and through that quote it is shown that both curie and faraday are comfortable around each other. this isn't every instance in the books, but the ones i found quickly.

"marie―scythe curie that is―...." ― scythe faraday (page 371, scythe)

"and you, marie." ― scythe faraday (page 383, thunderhead)

"where are you my dear marie?" ― (page 102, the toll)

i didn't add in any quotes where its the reverse and she calls him michael, because he never mentioned his policy for first-name-basis, but this shows how comfortable curie is around faraday. not to mention it is implied that curie and faraday talk often, as curie knows about an event that only faraday, citra, and rowan know about.

"didn't you already attend a family wedding?"

citra wondered how scythe curie knew that, but wasn't about to let herself be derailed. ― scythe curie - dialogue, citra terranova - narraration (page 231, scythe)

the comfort in which they speak to and reference one another suggests to me, at least, that there is not a manipulative intent or feeling in the relationship.

4) conclusion i suppose

if you read all the way here, then i applaud you for your dedication and i thank you very much. that seriously means so much to me.

to anon: this essay was a whole 1,429 words. i am so sorry. however i do disagree with your opinion but i hope i've voiced mine in a somewhat coherent manner. thank you so much for reading all this way!!!

5) sources:

scythe curie wiki

scythe faraday wiki

arc of a scythe - book one: scythe

arc of a scythe - book two: thunderhead

arc of a scythe - book three: the toll

let down - idioms by the free dictionary

let down - macmillan dictionary

let down - writing explained

[enneagramsanctuary]

The 5w6 anon

The thing is, all of these nine core fears make sense. People tend to fear them at all times. And in almost all cases, the fears tend to overlap.

1. I don't like it if I don't have control over a situation. I fear losing control. But here's thing, the reason I hate losing control over something or someone is because I don't want to be put in a situation where I can't fix something. If I have control over it, then I can decide how much effort I need to put to maintain it.

If you see this example, there are so many fear coming together. I fear the loss of control like an 8. My need to be able to judge how much effort I should put into something brings out fear of 5. But if you notice, controlling something by yourself means you're trying to find a convenient pattern that you can recreate at your pace. Doesn't that sound like the fear of 6 ? Cause you are controlling to introduce a constant into that issue ?

2. I sometimes crave for the sensation of a feeling. I don't really know how to put it into words but it's like reading a romance novel just to watch the development between the two characters. You don't fall in love, but fall in love with the intensity of the love between the two characters. I tend to expect this from tons of people. Some people horribly lack this, which gives them a fake aura. They seem ingenuine with all the actions they do. They're always careful about what they say and how they fit in, which is extremely annoying. This comes off as 4 to me. I want to fit in with so many people but sometimes they feel so neutral that I can't seem to create a bond with them. It makes me wonder if my core fear is being expressed as a need or an expectation.

But once again, I know for a fact that if I ever get an opportunity like this to enjoy the intensity, I would backout. Cause, even though it's soo appealing, I'm so horribly scared of the fact that towards the very end, I might put myself in a mess that I can't clean up. That, the person might leave me in a position where I can't pick myself up. The world would not help me when I can't help myself. So I need to be there for myself. I can't afford to depend on people or on anything that would not be there with me forever. I don't really know if this is a core fear of 5 or 6, cause 6s fear uncertainty, which in this case is the uncertainty of the entire situation.

3. I tend to apologize a lot- cause I'm scared of the fact that if I don't, then the person infront of me would always be grumpy about it and would demand me to apologize in a way that would be extremely unfavorable to me. I also don't like to deal with a person's bitterness cause it ruins my mood. But unlike 9s, I don't really hate conflict. I tend to forget my emotions once I'm done dealing with them, but an angry or annoyed person who keep bringing up things that I have pushed aside. So I learned the habit of apologizing to shut them up and stop bothering me (I know it's very wrong, and I'm slowly unlearning it).

I don't really know if this would help or if it's all unwanted information, but thank you so much for trying to help me with my type!

Hi there again anon :)

1. You are right about how all of us carry all the nine fears within us and different fears can sound similar. So to pinpoint your type, look at how you are framing and understanding the fear. Your wording of wanting to control things because you don't 'want to be put in a situation where you can't fix something' and want to control the amount of 'effort you put in to maintain it' centres around 5 themes of competence, energy-control, and self-sufficiency. If you were an 8, your desire for control would be about being the biggest presence in the room, dominating the flow of energy in the room, and bulldozing others to take what you want. If you were a 6, your desire for control would be about distrusting others' intentions, fearing the danger in the world - but keep in mind that 6s also frequently consult others and seek to form alliances to help themselves feel safer, so for many 6s it's a ping-ponging between 'Nobody can be trusted' and 'I must have support!' As you can see, any type may experience a desire for control, but the roots of that desire and the nuances of how that desire manifests will differ.

2. That's interesting, anon - have you learned about the sx instinctual variant? There are 3 instinctual variants that can change the flavour of a type, and the sx instinct involves a desire for intensity in emotional connection. Sx-users desire 'psychological nudity' which means no-filter, deep, intense bonds. This is also tied up with attraction, I don't know if that resonates with you but your longing for intensity could mean that you're an sx user who is simultaneously mistrustful of people because of 5 and 6 working together as a core and wing. Also, when you say 'So I need to be there for myself' this sounds more 5 than 6 because 5s are much more comfortable with self-reliance and the idea that they should be autonomous because nobody else will be there for them. For 6s, healthy self-reliance and independence is something they have to *work* to attain at high health levels. 6s hate feeling like the world is not dependable and it is a source of anxiety for them. They spend time trying to build sources of stability and security in the outer world to compensate for their deep-seated sense of uncertainty and insecurity. 5s, meanwhile, pre-emptively check out of this game because they assume by default that nobody will be there for them and that it's better to withdraw and depend only on themselves. So a big part of a 5's self-growth is learning to engage with the outside world in a generous and trusting way, while a big part of a 6's self-growth is learning to trust themselves and find an inner anchor of security within. Does this make the difference more clear?

3. Yep, this sounds like a preoccupation with your own boundaries and needing others not to intrude on you emotionally, which matches core 5's drive not to get too involved. You may also have 9 in your tritype if you often find yourself wanting to avoid conflict for the sake of maintaining a sense of inner calm/serenity/harmony.

Hope that helps :)