#but i lost his fuckin card that he gave me lmfao

[anotherpapercut]

trying to email someone I barely know to see if they can give me free stuff. wish me luck

[autobot-ratchet]

Lost Light 7-9

Lost Light 7

oh good, so someone did tell Rung about the functionist universe version of himself. “Yeah man you grew a hundred feet tall and punched the moon, it was wild”

jfdks Rodimus just gleefully swinging Skip's corpse around like a ragdoll

Drift's got an interesting perspective on Megatron's absence. I wonder if that's how he personally felt about his presence, I'm sure he must've felt a million different things about being commanded by him again

oofjhd Cyclonus, you gotta speak up, all the way up, he keeps trying and losing his nerve...

Velocity, please don't call it the F.U. LmAO

poor Minimus is going through it too, he's got a moment to finally realize and reflect upon the fact that he actually does like Megatron, despite everything

“You're an inspiration,” she says... she's already got the idea in her head.........

“Discuss this? Since when have we discussed anything?” oof ouch ougfhjdk he's right though... on the other hand he's doing the exact same shit Cyclonus was, he is absolutely trying to push Cyclonus away to protect him without telling him why, Tailgate is just as fuckin bad at communicating as Cyclonus and it hurts

uuuUUUGH I FORGOT HE TRIES TO GIVE CYCLONUS'S INNERMOST ENERGON BACK... he's really trying to break it off completely, he really wants Cyclonus away from him so he doesn't rip him apart in his sleep........

absolutely love this fucking conversation between Magnus and Rodimus, just going over the full spectrum of ways to feel about Megatron, and they're all correct. And Roddy is a lot more observant than anyone gave him credit for, he knows Magnus, knows what he needs to get back up on his feet, so to speak lmAO god what a good bit of dialogue

oh, Cyclonus, honey........ and Whirl, being a good friend for him aaaaudgfhsjghjdfk

gOD fudgfhfghdjk the fact that Tailgate has the vial of Cyclonus's innermost energon in his hand while he's in the radiation chamber fuck my LIFE

damn Fangry was really gonna put Tailgate in the ground for another six million years, fuck you dude

this was another thing that tested my faith in the comic lmfAO I don't think I ever thought this was the last we'd see of Tailgate necessarily, but I was scared that was the end of Cygate lmAO I was scared that by the time Tailgate became relevant again, Cyclonus would have started moving on and would stay away from Tailgate out of respect for his feelings/fear of reopening that old wound and never find out he was stuck underground

Lost Light 8

“Tell me your name. I want to worship you like a god,” is still such a wild fuckin thing to say to someone you just met

“The Mederi Center?!” the HUH??? I REMEMBER THAT NAME THAT'S THE NAME OF THE PLACE

love this girls day out to the shady-ass marketplace

honestly I love how much crime Anode does she's so valid lmAO

oof man poor Nautica is going through it, and she's making poor Velocity go through it too

I talked about it a little bit before but god Anode explaining why she's a she now is still so good, it's a good way to explain her process without having to get into nitty-gritty gender discourse lmAO and like. Good, she shouldn't have to get into it, if you get it you get it and if you don't that's fine just use the she pronouns for her, that's all it takes

Lost Light 9

man... Nautica just misses her man, she saw a chance to get him back and she took it, she figured it'd all be worth dealing with all this skeeviness

oh oof ouch, low blow Nautica, don't do Velocity like that

fghdsjk Anode really just said “Hey I've got something for you, it's mY FIST BITCH HIYAH” and she fuckin hurt herself doing it god I love her lmAO

LOVE this conversation between Nautica and Velocity, love them being forced to lay all their cards out on the table like this, love that Nautica going through with this is a dealbreaker for Velocity

“This is where you stand aside.” “This is where you make me.” TELL EEEEMMMMMMMM granted she gets immediately disarmed but sTILL I RESPECT THE ENERGY

oof yeah this was another moment that tested my faith. In fact, it tested me the hardest, this almost made me drop the comic lmAO I just couldn't deal with Nautica surgically removing her feelings for Skids, it felt like it cheapened the impact of his death, and at the time, I couldn't imagine it having any relevance to any future arcs or plot points. I was fully under the impression that this was only about further solidifying the bond between Nautica and Velocity and I didn't like that the effect Skids's death had on Nautica was completely eliminated in order to do that. Of course now I know that this moment is a surprise tool that helps us later, but at the time, I actively disliked this issue and that was the first time the comic had ever made me feel that way, so that plus all the naysayers on my dash and in the tags got me dangerously close to deciding they were right. So glad I didn't lmAO I'm very glad I stuck with it and I can now read this issue without feeling awful

speaking of surprise tools that will help us later, what's good Epistemus lmAO

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #321

i’m exploring the deepest recesses of tumblr to unearth super old surveys, so you can expect an onslaught of ‘em.

When someone is tailgating you, do you drive faster or slower? I drive the same speed, even though it makes me incredibly uncomfortable. What place outside of your own home do you spend the most time at? My sister's place. Have you ever been snorkeling? No. Do most of your relatives live in the same state/province as you? No; only my parents and immediate sisters live here. Have you ever participated in a medical study? No. Is there a food you hate that everyone else seems to like? Especially where I live, fried chicken. It's disgusting. Have you ever had to evacuate from a natural disaster? No. Do you have any family members who are cancer survivors? Numerous, actually. Do you have any licenses other than your driver's license? I don't even have a driver's license, never mind anything else. What job does you significant other have? I’m single. When you were in elementary school, what was a typical afternoon like once you got home from school? I did my homework right away; well, after having a snack. After that, I was most likely on the computer playing Neopets or Webkinz, or something on the PlayStation. Is your favorite movie part of a series? Yes. Have you ever played in a water puddle? Sure, as a kid. I loved that. Have you ever played in a mud puddle? I don't think so. Have you ever kissed someone (outside) in the rain? Yes. He did it purely to be romantic, lol. Have you ever lost control of your car in the rain? No, thank fuck. Have you ever had to attend summer school? No. Have you ever experienced a summer where the temperature exceeded 120'F/49'C? Yikes, no, not that high. The highest we usually get is below 110. Do you live in a hot or cold (normally) climate? Hot. It sucks. Has your community ever had a “smog alert”? No. Have you ever raked leaves, and then played in them? Oh, absolutely as a kid. Dad would rake a pile just for us kids. Have they ever cancelled school because it was too hot? At least once, yes. Have you ever had to shovel snow? No. Have you ever experienced “cat’s breath”, where the wind was so powerful it took your breath away, literally? Yep, especially when I visited Sara and we went on a walk. It was fucking outrageous. Safe to say I didn't last long on that walk. Has your/or have you been in a car that was stuck in a snowstorm? No. What does your MySpace profile look like? I haven't seen it since that site was still "a thing." I do remember, however, that it was COVERED in meerkats, haha. Pictures, facts, etc. And my page song was "Pocketful of Sunshine" by Natasha Beddingfield lmao. Do you like living in the country or city better? Country, 100%. I'm not a city gal by any means. Do you have a big backyard? No, it's very small. Not used to that at all. What is your favorite Adam Sandler movie? I don't know, he's in too many to choose lmao. What was the last thing that surprised you? Apparently a rocket crashed today after launch. What color hair did your first crush have? Brown. Have you ever visited your state’s capitol building? No. I... didn't even know those existed lmao I feel dumb. Who was the last person that said something that warmed your heart? I'm not sure, but I'm quite certain my niece or nephew would be involved there, haha. What is your favorite park? I don't have one. Have you ever felt an earthquake? No. Do you believe anyone is asexual? ???????????? Yes???????????? Were you abused? No. Have you ever missed a deadline? Yeah. Can you tell Mary-Kate and Ashley apart in pictures? I haven't seen them in an eternity, idk. Describe your fondest memory: I don't really want to... but I'll entertain the question. It's hard to choose, and they just about all include Jason. I think what I hold closest though was our dance to "Stairway to Heaven" after prom in the headlights of his car in my front yard. It's something that physically hurts to remember. What song makes you cry every time you hear it? Let's set aside my "trigger songs" for this. "Terrible Things" by Mayday Parade does it very easily. How often do you break your promises? I almost never do. I don't bullshit around with promises. I've only ever broken ones I'd forgotten I'd made, if my memory serves me right. How long do you take in the shower, on average? Not even 10 minutes. Do you have your MySpace/Facebook profile set to a "friends only" setting? Yes. Did your last kiss mean anything? Why or why not? Of course it did. I care very, very deeply for her. Are your summers usually boring and relaxing, or busy and interesting? "Summers are hot and miserable." <<<< mood Tell me a crazy thing you did as a child. I don't really think I did anything "crazy" as a child, just weird. Like pretending to be a father penguin arranging rocks to mock a nest. I was fuckin weird. How many best friends do you have? One. When you’re upset, who do you wanna talk to the most? Either Sara, Mom, or nobody. Opinion on Daughtry? They're nice. "No Surprise" is positively beautiful. Do you like country music? Noooooo. What’s been the most awkward situation you've been in? Okay, possible TMI. Basically, Jason's parents arrived home way, way earlier than they were supposed to and my panicky ass couldn't find my clothes quickly, and when I finally did, I had to dress as quickly as possible in his tiny-ass closet while he distracted his mom and dad lmfao. I'ma just say it was a very close call to me melting into a mortified puddle. I look back on it and laugh now, but the absolute, throbbing fear I felt was NOT funny back then lmfao. Don’t you love that feeling when you look at someone and you just melt? <3 That is genuinely one of the best feelings in the entire world. Do you prefer male or female singers? I have no preference. So what are you planning for this summer? Nothing, really... Who knows where the Covid situation will be then. What’s a good book? In general for absolutely anyone, Johnny Got His Gun by Dalton Trumbo. It is a book about pacifism that is so very deep and emotional. For women, I highly recommend The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. As a woman myself, the concept of the book is terrifying, to be reduced to reproduction machines without rights, so it's something you can really feel as a female. It's a book that definitely makes you want to fight for women's rights. Is it awkward for you when your parents talk to you about boys etc… No. I'm a grown woman. Now if she asked about my sex life (if I had one), I'd feel a bit weird, but not very. Do you like it when guys play with your hair? Yeah. Ever cried when you had to say goodbye to someone? Well of course. Over multiple people. Have your parents ever hated one of your boyfriends/girlfriends? No. Have you ever dreamt of someone you barely know? Indeed. Do you have a blood donor’s card? Yep. Have you ever taken a pregnancy test? I had to before surgery. Has anyone seen you naked in the last week? No. What kind of doctor did you go to the last time you went? It was via phone, but I talked with my psychiatrist a few days ago. Does your ex still think about you? I'm sure Sara and Girt do, as they're my good friends, but idk if either think of me romantically. I would hope Jason at least remembers me with some degree of care in his heart... As for Juan, Aaron, and Tyler, idk if they do and I don't really care. What has been bothering you a lot lately? My weight. Are you trustworthy? I think so, yes. Did your parents teach that white lies were ok? Yeah, but it definitely depends on the situation. Which literary character would you dress up as, if you had to choose one? Speaking of The Handmaid's Tale, for Halloween one year, I really, really want to take some cool photos of me dressed as a handmaid with a (obviously fake) blood splatter over my stomach. What (or who) is the best thing that ever happened to you? Being born with the mom I have, probably. I have no idea. None. Of where I'd be without her. Do you miss college? Sigh, sometimes... but I'm not going back. No chance. Dropping out three times due to my mental state hints at a clear pattern. Have you ever called a teacher “mom”? Yeah, accidentally. Except with my physical science teacher in HS that eventually became my "other mom" and most recently our landlord, even. I call her "Mama" sometimes. What was the name of your first imaginary friend? It was a wolf whose name I don't remember. What color was your nursery when you were a baby? No clue. What is your favorite arcade game? I desperately wanna go to a location that has Silent Hill: The Arcade. :/ That's on my bucket list. It's very rare. Are you allergic to grass? No. Do you remember to water plants? I don’t have any plants to water. What is your favorite fall drink? I don't drink any "fall" drinks. Favorite winter drink? Hot chocolate! Favorite spring drink? There are "spring" drinks? Favorite summer drink? Gimme a nice, cold margarita. Name three creative people you know. Sara, Tez, and Mini are some of the most creative people I've ever written with. Name 3 YouTubers you aspire to be like. Mark in like a million different ways, I look up greatly to Jeffree Star's work ethic (say what you will about him personally, but holy shit does mama WORK), and Emzotic for her incredible growth after trauma that's left her more confident than ever, and she's amazing with animals and just a darling overall. Does anyone know who your current crush is? Yeah, I'm pretty open about it. Have you ever been scammed? Not successfully, no. Which song describes your life? I relate to "Get Up" by Mother Mother a lot at this point in my life. If someone dislikes you, what is most likely to be the reason? Probably because I open up so slowly/am very secretive of myself when someone might be trying to get close. People have also criticized my laziness. Where did you meet the last person you swapped numbers with? YouTube. At least I think Tez was the last person I gave my number to. Who was the last person to add you as a friend on Facebook? Hunter, my neighbor growing up. Who was the last person that asked if you were okay? My therapist. I had to leave group due to severe abdominal cramping. It was just my period, but he just wanted to check. What was the last thing you bought from a vending machine? Probably a soda back when I was still in school. Has anyone given you butterflies recently? Actually yeah; I had a memory of Sara that caused 'em to revisit me. What was the name of the first person you ever had a crush on? Why did you like them? I'm going to exclude my puppy-dog crush (Dylan) and talk about my first "real" crush, Sebastian. I liked him because we had very similar interests, he was really friendly, nice, and funny, and he clearly trusted me a lot because he actually confided in me regarding the relationship he was in that was struggling and causing him a lot of pain. I thought he was attractive, too. Ngl, I wonder sometimes where we could have gone if he hadn't been dating the girl, because I'm 90% sure he was into me, too. In current times, he very recently got engaged! Super happy for him. Which parent do you identify with the most? My ma. What do you think you cook or bake the best? Scrambled eggs, I guess. That's just about all I CAN make, haha. My family likes 'em. I always use American cheese, salt, pepper, and a bit of hot sauce. What embarrasses you the most in front of other people? Admitting I RP. If you had to choose one thing you were most passionate about, what would it be and why? Of actually important things, gay rights. If we're talkin' passionate about anything, then the answer's meerkats, duh. Who are you most envious of—real or fictional—and why? A rival photographer that lives here. I absolutely hate admitting that, but yeah, I'm extremely envious of her. She gets way more traffic than I do by a long shot, even though I, from a completely modest and honest standpoint, genuinely think I do better work than her. It's just frustrating. All about who you know in this business. How old is the most expired item in your fridge? Supposedly our milk expired on the 1st, but it smells just fine? And mind you, I am very cautious with expiration dates, and I've found milk typically starts to smell bad a few days earlier than the date to me. This jug is an outlier. What are your favorite style of underwear? I'm a fat old lady that likes high-waisted underwear. What’s the saddest song you’ve ever heard? Maybe "The Ballad of Dwight Fry" by Alice Cooper. I could name tons, though. How about the sweetest song? Maybe "Easy to Love You" by Theory of a Deadman. Another song I struggle to listen to because it was one of mine and Jason's "songs." Do you know how to play dominoes? No. Are you proud of what you’re doing with your heart and time right now? Not in the least. Why or why not? I'm just wasting time. Doing nothing with true meaning, and I seem unable to get over this low point I'm in. How many bones have you broken? One. Well, I was told "fractured," but apparently that's the same thing as broken? Have you ever won anything? Big or small? Yeah, multiple things. What food will you absolutely not, under any circumstances, eat? Animals like cats or dogs. Pets, basically. I would feel WAY too weird. Has anything/anyone every saved your life before? Yes. What is one thing you’re embarrassed to admit you want to try? If I'm embarrassed by it, why would I share it with whoever reads these? What is the most important memory you have and why? When I decided it was truly time to move on from Jason. Why that's my most important is obvious: it changed my mindset and life in general. Is there something you wish you had said sorry for but never did? God, I hope Jason read my apology email I last sent him. I finally accepted I did wrong, too, and I want to know that he knows that. Who was the last person you know to have a birthday? My youngest niece's first birthday was mid-February. What’s a musical instrument you think sounds really beautiful? The violin. Do you play that instrument? I wish I could. Do you have a favorite type of pasta? (like a shape of noodles, not dish) Just spaghetti noodles, ig. How many times a day do you brush your teeth? Once. Who sent the last e-mail you got? My PHP therapist sent me the Zoom link to our group session. Do you have a favorite shape? Out of basic ones, circles. What’s the last song you bought/downloaded? I don't recall. Probably something by 3TEETH. Have you ever been on a trapeze? Hell nah. Do you buy chocolate after Valentine’s Day when it goes on sale? No. Do you personally know anyone who is an author? I met a poet at the psych hospital once. I also have an old friend who had something published in a magazine, I think. Do you own a polaroid camera? No, but I'd love to to take more ~aesthetic~ photographs sometimes. What is something you think is underrated? Snakes! :( They're not scary or gross, nor do they in any way deserve to be killed. I wish the worth of snakes was seen much more clearly. They are spectacular, intriguing animals. Around what temperature do you consider it to be too hot outside? Once it hits like 65*F, I'm starting to feel uncomfortable. In what ways do you expect your life to be different one year from now? I hope beyond hope that I have a job I enjoy. And that I'm driving again. What’s a hobby you used to have, but don’t anymore? I used to loooove video editing, but I've lost all motivation for it. Do you have any exercise equipment in your home? Somewhere we have this one stretchy thing that I have no idea what it's called, then there are two sets of small weights somewhere. Where is the farthest north you’ve traveled to? New York. Farthest south? Florida. East? Well, ya can't go more east in NC unless you want to drive into the ocean... lol. West? Illinois. If you have/want children, will you raise them similar to the way you were raised? If I had kids, I would in some ways, but in a lot of other ways, no. Do you have any unusual decorations in your home? Nothing strange, no. What is the highest level math class you’ve completed? I don't know. Not very high. Do you have an ebook reader? (iPad, Kindle, etc.) No. What kind of natural disaster is most common where you live? Hurricanes. Have you ever had an animal get into your attic? No. When was the last time you started a “new chapter” of your life? 2017, ig. What is the last random act of kindness you did? I guess you could consider a loving text to Sara a random act of kindness?

[the-cooler-king]

I am just not done dreaming about my best friend yet am I

So I feel like it started in some kind of haunted hotel, I distinctly remember it being kinda creepy and being in the stairwell. The stairs were red carpet but the walls were blank & concrete, like in a parking garage. I dont remember what I was doing here or what I thought I was doing lmao it was a totally normal hotel, just also probably haunted. They always are in my dreams.

Next me and britt were staying together. I got the vibe that we were on vacation together; I assume we were at an airbnb or something, it was a super cute house. One level, I think two bed & bath. It kept changing every time I went into the house. There was a really nice backyard and a cute lil pool in the back - too small to swim in, but it was in ground and well maintained. Every time I went to talk to britt she was in this pool.

At one point I went off for ??? (This mightve been after I went back to sleep after getting up to pee) and I ran into a friend from school... someone tall.... it was either Bobby, his brother Jimmy, or mikey sellers lmao I cant even remember who it was. We were walking this trail together, smoking and showing each other stuff on our phones. There was a website, throughout the dream, I kept logging in to check - my homie sevyn was messaging me about the haunted hotel from earlier, implying that a large group had all gone together and he was asking if I saw some of the cool/weird fixtures too. I remember dropping bobby/jimmy/Mike's phone, and the phone case popping off, and he warned me that it barely worked as it were.

The last thing I really remember was driving to go get food? I was going with a clear goal, specific place to go. I was picking something up for me and britt probably lol but the place I wanted was the LAST turn before going over this massive bridge (the bridges haven't been broken in my dreams for a while now, which is such a nice change lmfao) so I of course passed it and had to cross this huge fuckin bridge... which I did...then I turned around and passed the sandwich place AGAIN. Super mad and seeing the words "dairy queen/Exxon MILLSBORO" gave me such hope. I knew in the dream where Millsboro was HOWEVER I dont know where tf i was supposed to be so I just kept driving until I found a dairy queen. I didn't. But I wound up on that road to the bridge again, and I turned my signal on super early and made the right turn before having to cross. I ran into I think sevyn again but as someone else for some reason? There was a horror novel signing going on in the same strip as the sandwich shop that he was really excited about? Anyway idr getting the snacks but I went back to the place with britt - I recognized it as one of those "I live here irl but I've never seen this place before but it feels like home" like the house we were in was in my development but irl that area doesn't exist? And earlier in the dream I remember the house being right next to the highway? Well anyway I went inside and rummaged around looking for some weed/my pen and went back outside to see britt in the pool again. MEMORY UNLOCKED..... at one point she had gotten out of the pool and we were just standing there, talking. She runs her hands over the front of her stomach and says "im so happy I've lost a bunch of weight... I wanted to be like you, because you fit into everything" and I took in her form, her bathing suit was really loose because she had lost a lot of weight (she still looked healthy, she wasn't skin and bones) but the feeling in my chest welled up and I just started to cry, so I pulled her to me and hugged her because I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to be happy for her if she was killing herself over her appearance, I didn't want to be upset with her for doing it either. I just wanted her to be happy and I knew she wasn't and that killed me more than anything I think.

I cant believe I went from dreaming about breaking into her house to read her diary so I could find out if she missed me, to dreaming about living together and having fun together. That's a glo up. I should not kms so I can keep dreaming but shit is hard. My cards told me not to rush but I really fucking want to. I want to live with my best friend and sit in a kiddy pool out back drinking champagne. I want to live with her and lay on the living room floor letting her animals use me as a pillow. I want to clean the house together, do the dishes together, save her from any bug that presents itself. Like I want to simplest of things but it feels like there is so much in my way of getting there... maybe tomorrow ill ask Alice about her move and the agent she used. Maybe I'll have more luck. Idk

[bubltae]

okokok yes so prodigy taem gets lost in the city and what if a bunch of ppl from college see him & these are the really mean and rude ppl so they pick on him until yunho comes along and protects him and later brings him back to onkey ???

anon 1: pls talk about little child taemin getting lost i want to know pls i love this au

anon 2: omg!!!!! please talk about taemin getting lose in the city!! it sounds so cute!!!!

[uwu @ anon 1: tysm i luv this au too ;)]

yesyesyes let’s go. so basically what happened up until now was that taemin was tired of onkey taking him to uni since he deemed it “uncool” (like honestly how many 13 year olds want their embarrassing dads taking them to school everyday??). onkey then gave him a bus card loaded with some money so taem wouldn’t have to use cash. 

yeah so taemin has his books and his bag and he hops on the bus but he stayed up until 3am finishing a term paper and he’s hella exhausted bc he had to wake up literally 3 hours later for his dumb 7am class.

and while he’s on the bus, he starts to just kinda doze off bc it’s lulling him to sleep and he has his headphones playing this duet by some guys taem likes named kinho and mey.

then he wakes up, like fckin jo l t s awake maybe bc his conscience was like “wake tf up it’s been way too long since ur eyes were last opened.” taemin opens his eyes and he has no idea where the hell he is.

and he’s too awkward to say anything so he gets off on the next stop and decides to look for a police officer or some friendly storekeeper to tell him where to go.

and that’s when he realized his bus card went missing (tm: god damn it).

and he’s just standing on sidewalk with his books and bag AND NO PHONE and he’s alone and scared out of his damned wits like what does a 13 year old fresh out of high school do in this kind of situation? worse, onkey never told him what to do bc the idea just never came up. they assumed he was responsible enough to just get off the bus at the right time.

which he apparently can’t do.

so taem begins walking towards this nearby park and he vaguely remembers it when onkey took him and jonghyun there several years ago. and taemin’s senses kind of map out where he is, which is hard without his phone that is sadly sitting on his nightstand at home.

he does this for THREE hours. and with each minute passing, he’s growing more and more worried that he’s just digging a deeper hole and he’ll get killed or kidnapped or lost on the streets forever.

“hey u lost?”

and at the sound of a voice, taemin feels a wave of relief but then he recognizes the voice and the face and he feels nothing but dread.

it’s those guys. the guys who have stared at him and judged him silently since his first day. they haven’t been flat out rude but taemin knows they don’t like him.

“uh… i’m fi-“

one of the other guys interrupts him. “of course he’s lost he’s like 8. what do u expect?”

“i said i’m-“

“isn’t he supposed to be like, fuckin smart or something? how can he even get lost then?”

“i said i’m fine,” taemin asserts. “i’m 13 years old.”

“damn sorry. we’re just trying to help.”

and before taem can interject, another voice from behind him comes up. taemin knows who it is immediately. “oh taemin thank god. i thought i’d never find you.”

taemin doesn’t get it. the guys smirk, ignoring him. “ah yunho. why aren’t you in class?”

yunho shrugs. “i could ask the same thing about you guys.”

“just getting lunch.”

yunho puts a hand on taemin’s shoulder protectively. “same. come taemin. sorry i’m late. i almost didn’t get your text. let’s go eat.”

taem still doesn’t get it at first but then he realizes that yunho is saving his ass nd he smiles warmly. “it’s ok hyung. we’re going to that diner down the street right?”

and yunho nods. by this time, the meanies have gotten bored and left, knowing they can’t square up to yunho (an: honestly who would). taemin sighs in relief, turning around to hug yunho. “thank you hyung thank you thank you thank you.”

yunho grins and hugs him back. “why are you even here? shouldn’t you be at class? like for real?”

“i missed my stop and i left my phone at home. i’ve been lost for more than three hours. also, how did you even find me?”

yunho shrugs. “i was running late and i saw your tiny mushroom hair from across the street. those kids need to leave you alone.”

“but they’re your age.”

“so you’re saying i’m young like them?”

“no i’m saying they’re old like you.”

“you lil shi- let me take you home. you need your phone ofc and i’m sure your dads would looove to hear this story,” yunho teases.

and taemin groans bc he knows jinki will probably be super awkward in thanking yunho and kibum will faint or freak out or scold him. “do we have to?”

yunho nods evilly and makes taemin get in his car. the entire ride back to his house (yunho has his address after taemin left his textbook in his last class) he complains about having to tell his dads.

“but hyung-“

“no buts.”

“hyung pls.”

and when they get there, onkey is confused bc shouldn’t taemin be at school? and so yunho makes taemin tell them the whole story about leaving his phone then falling asleep and getting lost and almost crying lmfao. and onkey are laughing their asses off at their son actually getting lost like oh hell how the hell.

and taem’s just mortified. “dads. please.”

jinki wipes away a tear. “our poor child, our dear poor child. he has my genes.”

“daaad…”

kibum places a hand on jinki’s shoulder. “oh yes he does.” he then turns to yunho. “thank you for bringing him home safely. we really owe you.”

“it’s no problem at all. i didn’t want this little sucker to fall down a hole, y’know?”

and taemin is just so embarrassed that yunho and his dads are talking about him like he’s some stupid kid but he’s happy that he’s not freezing on the streets anymore.

“why didn’t you ask to borrow a phone? from like, i don’t know, a nice worker?”

“right. or call the police. or us?”

“why didn’t you go inside?”

“you’re a 13 year old taking college level classes. how in the world did you not use that huge brain of your’s and do something sensible?”

“because i’m dumb hyung and dads. i’m very very dumb. can we go to class now?”

so yunho takes them to school and onkey tries to hide their laughter as taemin leaves in yunho’s car.

it’s one of their favorite stories from taemin’s childhood at family gatherings (+ yunho who soon came to practically become part of the family but that’s a story for another time).

[mylifejourneled]

2020 has been one hell of a year and it ain’t even over.

So I left off at my 20th birthday... this year could not have gone more differently than what I anticipated. I dont even know where to begin. I guess we’ll talk about the larger events huh. 

February was a good month. Spent it around friends and in preperation for my big 20th jam. Jess and I decided to throw a joint birthday party and it was hand down the best idea ever. I think it may have been my favourite birthday party yet. I got way too fuckin drunk lol. Started blacking out around midnight but my friends managed to get me to the garage where jess and I cut our cake in front of everyone. Nights like those are important you know? Surrounded by people you love and people that love you. Its nice lol. And lets be real, I’m full of myself so having a night where everyones focused on me was great lmfao. 

Then came march... March 4th Nick and I confessed our feelings for one another. We were on facetime at like 4 am when I decided to bring up “honesty hour.” I asked pressing questions about who crushes and shit and somehow it led to him admitting that I was who he was into. I quickly told him that I feel the same way. It was an precious innocent moment you know? One where you don’t know how you got there or where you’re going but it just feels right to have been honest. Five days later we went on our first date. We went down to the falls where he took me down to a bench facing the water. He got down on one knee and pulled out a ring pop (lol) and asked me to be his girlfriend. Embarrassed, I asked him to get the fuck back up, but quickly said yes as well. we then walked around, back up Clifton Hill. Spent a moment dancing on the street as Thinking Out Loud by Ed Sheeran played in the background. We had dinner at Kelseys. That was that. The start of one the most confusing relationships I’ve had till date. 

March also brought the news of someone who drank bat soup in china and caught a mutated virus... little did we know that news would change the way the whole world operated. The virus began to travel quickly, globally. Before we knew it, we were going into to lockdown. Schools closed, everything went online. Masks became mandatory in  public. Seeing people other than those in your inner circle became inappropriate. 

My roommates and I spent April in a weird routine of waking up after noon, drinking coffee on our back steps, and playing card games till the sun set. By the end of april, everyone was gone. All that was left was Posty and I. Nick would come down a couple times a week which was really nice. Our relationship continued to grow. We were in our own little bubble because of the pandemic. The only people that knew we were even together were those that were closest to us. It was just us.

Lol my attention span is making this all so hard to write. 

May/ june ish I spent at home with my parents. It was horrendous. Having been outside of that household for a couple years now, made it all unbearable. I spent every night sleepin in mums room with her. Dad was drunk all day every day. It was suffocating to say the least. Lots of crying. Lots of screaming. Eventually, dad hit mom with a hammer outside and the neighbours called the cops. He got arrested and was told to not come anywhere near mum for months until his trial. We went to the police station, gave a statement and everything. Of course, though, he was back the next day. Thats when I lost my  shit. I needed to get the fuck out of there. So I did. Mom dropped me off to st.kitts soon after.

I spent the next couple of months of the summer here. At peace. Hung out with nick quite a bit. We did all sorts of cute shit together. Hikes, dinners, lunches, site seeing... all that jazz. I would hang out with the 111 girls and have a blast. my roomates came down a couple of times and we had good times. Gurleen and friends from home came down and we had a blast too. 

August was pretty chill as far as I can remember. The end of August was weird though. I went to a cottage for like 5 days with nick and his cousins. Long story short: I did not fit in. From my perspective, I was getting along with his cousins really well but nick and his bestfriend were giving me the weirdest vibes. Nick and I fought a few times for the first time ever. Tears were shed. On our drive back we had a moment where he said he didnt know if I fit into his life and I was almost positive we were going to break up right there and then. We pulled up somewhere random and talked a lot about what was up. 

lol we’ll continue at some point...

[thiswasasuperterribleidea]

to be continued.

Today was supposed to be better than yesterday. Because yesterday was the worst day. Yesterday was worse than a week ago. But today isn’t better. 

A week ago. I went to my work holiday party. My manager kept doing this thing where he’d tell me he’d give me a pass. And then side text me about my numbers, and ask if I changed my mind. He’s cool. He’s big on attendance. He stalked that RSVP list like a hawk, making sure our area had a good turn out. He told me Darren was taking a plus one. He tried giving me a pep talk like a dad would “I understand you wouldn’t want to go because of that, but I still think it is a stupid reason. You have a pass if you want, but this is your career that you are doing well at, and you should go talk about it.” I don’t think it’s my career. I hope not. But I’m not sure. 

This other girl guilted me the Tuesday before. We were talking about work, and she told me her husband is out of town. The party was out of state and she was going with someone else that ditched her. She told me my reasoning for not wanting to go was dumb. And she asked me to ride with her so she wasn’t going alone. I was having a good night that night, I figured I’d at least get to look hot if I went. I decided I was ready. I said I’d go so she didn’t have to go alone. And mentally prepared myself to see Darren with someone else with my own eyes. You know, I was so distracted the whole time at the party, drinking my wine, talking to people that were important that I never even would have had to see Darren with her.... That was if the universe wasn’t acting like a fucking piece of shit as we checked into the hotel. 

Guys. I never in a million years could imagine the odds being so against me. I walked in to check into the lobby. And there he is, and there she is. At the exact same fucking time. Checking in next to each other. So if that’s not awkward enough... my credit card declines while they’re standing there. Now my credit card has a massive fucking limit on it. There’s no way it should be declining but NONE OF THESE PEOPLE KNOW THAT. Darren doesn’t know that. His new broad doesn’t know that. It must have been because I was out of state because as soon as they entered it again it went through. But they were long gone. It was like things couldn’t get any more humiliating. Until we go up the elevator and they’re not LONG GONE at all and their room is right next to mine.... 

Guys it was like a movie. I am such a believer in the universe and things aligning, but how THE FUCK does shit line up like that???? NOW I HAVE TO HEAR THEM HAVE SEX INSTEAD OF JUST KNOWING IT’S HAPPENING? COME ON... I always thought my life was boring as shit ... but that... that luck right there is exactly what keeps this blog fucking kickin’. 

I got in my hotel room chugged a mini bottle of prosecco, slipped my dress on, threw in some big ‘staven hoop earrings and put my boujee black fur coat on and made my appearance. The only reason I was fine.. was because I know I looked good. The dress was little and black and gave me an awesome amount of cleavage for my normal 12 year old body, and the back was ruched, so it made my ass look a little nicer than normal. I went and drank my wine, and talked to the people I was supposed to. I put my prescription glasses in my wallet the second we walked in, that way I didn’t have to see Darren and this new bitch at all. (Without my glasses I can not see more than 5 feet of what’s in front of me, and I knew I wouldn’t be any closer to them than that). I actually made eye contact with him once and I was nervous I’d say something stupid so I ran away. He had his drunk eyes on. Where they get really heavy and only open a little. 

The night was fine, I actually had fun. No real complaints... other than the fact... this fucking hotel did this thing where they wanted to be like good for the planet or something....(Seems heroic in theory but it was SO DUMB LET ME TELL YOU...)  so in order to turn the lights on you had to leave your room key in a slot on the door to make the lights function. Now as if that wasn’t annoying enough, these pain in the ass interior designers decided that one door into the bathroom wasn’t enough. And that they needed one sliding door to enter the bathroom, and then another side sliding door to get to the actual toilet. Now this wouldn’t be so terrible if I had taken a walk into the bathroom sober and with lights on ... except for I didn’t do that before we left so.

As soon as I laid down in my bed, and thought of Darren sleeping with this sloppy bitch maybe 30 FEET AWAY FROM ME, my stomach full of nothing but a mini bottle of prosecco and now 5 glasses of wine lost it’s patience with me. (Which was impressive cause I’m usually knocked out way before that). So naturally I get up to go throw up my alcohol BUT THE LIGHTS ARE FUCKING OFF, MY ROOM KEY IS IN MY WALLET, AND I CAN’T FIGURE OUT THE FUCKING BATHROOM ORGANIZATION DRUNK AND IN THE DARK. SO ... I threw up in the sink lmfao. Couldn’t find the toilet in time. Oh my god it was so funny. I’m not even ashamed I just truly could not believe it. I had to sit on the floor and laugh. I’m not the BEST person... But I am not THAT bad of a person to deserve to see my ex with another girl, have them checked in to the room directly next to me, AND have a bathroom so complicated that I emergency throw up in the sink. The universe did me fuckin  dirty that’s for sure.