#but i severely underestimated my unwillingness to go into the water

[look-at-the-stars-tonight]

im gonna do it im gonna get obsessed with the ocean and all its little creatures 

[badchoicesposts]

Don’t Dream It’s Over Flashbacks Part Four

DDIO Masterlist

AN: This is a compilation of all of the flashbacks of Liam and Ali’s story from my Don’t Dream It’s Over universe. You can find the full story on my masterlist.

TW: DEPRESSION, SELF HARM

CHAPTER 16

Ali tugged self consciously at the high-waisted, two piece bathing suit that Emma had forced her to get. It was getting hotter and hotter every day, and when Liam learned that she didn’t know how to swim, he decided to make it his life's mission to teach her. The building that he lived in had its own private pool, and as she watched him swim a few laps across it under the moonlight, she couldn’t help but think of how romantic this would have been if she wasn’t so terrified of drowning. 

“Come in with me,” Liam said, swimming up to where she was dangling her legs into the water and wrapping his hands gently around her ankles. 

“I have no problem coming in with you as long as I can stay in the shallow end,” she said was a sweet smile, lowering herself into the pool. 

She sighed as she sunk into the cool water, her feet touching the floor of the pool and the water coming up to her chest. She had always loved the feeling of being in the water. It was oddly liberating considering she was afraid to swim, but she couldn’t deny that just standing in the pool made her muscles relax in a satisfying way. 

“Come in a little further,” Liam coaxed, grabbing her hands and trying to pull her closer to the middle of the pool. 

Ali took a deep breath and allowed her body to flow through the water, guided by his movements. Her breath hitched as the ground began to fall away under her, but Liam instinctively pulled her closer to him, wrapping his arms around her waist so that she knew she was secure. 

“Lean back. I’ll help you balance so you can float,” he said, gently pushing her back. 

Ali hesitated.

“You know, I’m okay with not knowing how to swim,” she said, resisting his movements. 

“You should learn. What if something happens and you need to swim to survive?” he asked, with an amused smile.

“That’s why I have you,” she responded sarcastically.

“And what if I’m not there?”

“Then I guess I’ll just die,” she said.

Liam rolled his eyes in response. 

“Besides, I can think of something we could do instead,” she said, wrapping her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist. 

She pulled him into a soft lingering kiss. 

“That’s not going to work,” he said, pulling away with a clear amount of difficulty.

“Oh, fine,” she gave in, leaning back into the water. 

“You need to relax your body,” he said, his hands on her back under the water, holding her up. 

She attempted to follow his instructions several times, but she never succeeded. The position she was in felt unnatural. 

“I can’t do this,” she said, getting increasingly agitated and stiffening her body even more. 

“Just close your eyes,” Liam instructed. 

“Liam, I don’t want to close my eyes.”

“Please, just do it,” he said with an exasperated sigh. 

He originally thought that this was going to be a much easier task. He had underestimated his girlfriend’s stubbornness and unwillingness to learn something she was afraid of. 

Ali rolled her eyes in annoyance before closing them. 

“Good, now just relax and listen to the sound of my voice,” he said. “Just focus on me.” 

He proceeded to speak in a soft soothing voice about whatever came to his mind, and before Ali knew it her body had relaxed. 

“I think I did it!” she said excitedly, opening her eyes only to find Liam standing in the water a few feet away from her. 

The proud smile that he was wearing was quickly replaced by a look of fear as her body stiffened again, and her arms and legs began flailing as her head fell below the surface. 

“Why did you let go of me!” she yelled, grabbing onto his shoulders tightly as he pulled her back to his body.

“You were doing so well! I thought you would be okay,” Liam said, an apologetic smile on his face.

 “I would kill you if I didn’t need your help getting out of here.”

The man threw his head back and laughed. 

“I promise I’ll make it up to you,” he said, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead.

She narrowed her eyes at the amused expression that he still wore on his face but decided against addressing it. 

“You better.”

CHAPTER 17

Ali smiled from her spot in the doorway as she took in the sight of Marshall twins cuddled up to Liam on the couch. Lily was sitting in his lap, fast asleep and drooling onto his shirt, while Tyler was resting against his arm, slowly falling in and out of consciousness. They had both begged to stay up a little longer than usual because it was a weekend, and Ali had obliged because she knew that this would happen. It was only ten minutes past their usual bedtime, and they were both almost completely knocked out. 

Both of the twins had taken a quick liking to Liam after meeting him that first day in the library. It was now an odd occurrence for Ali to babysit by herself. 

“I think it’s time to get these two into bed,” Ali whispered, walking over to them and taking Tyler into her arms. 

The four-year old protested very little before leaning into her embrace and resting his head on her shoulder. Liam smiled and stood up with Lily in his arms before following Ali to the twins’ bedroom. She placed the toddler down under the covers and placed a pillow on his left side, the way she knew he liked, and watched as Liam did the same for Lily. 

Ali made sure the small star-shaped night light was plugged in before grabbing Liam’s hand and leading him back to the living room of the Marshalls’ apartment. 

Liam pulled her down onto his lap, and Ali smiled against his lips as he kissed her gently. He pulled away from the kiss and looked into her eyes, running his fingers lazily through her curls. Ali could feel the love in his gaze and it made butterflies erupt in her stomach. 

“What’s on your mind?” she asked.

Liam opened his mouth to speak but hesitated and remained quiet. He moved his hand from her hair and wrapped his arms around her waist, keeping her pressed tightly to his chest. 

“Do you ever think about… about having kids?” he asked. 

Ali was startled for a minute, not having expected him to as her that question. 

“Yeah, I do. I’ve always loved kids, and I’ve always imagined myself having them. Not now, of course. But, when I’m older, and I’m done with school,” she said, gently tracing her finger across the stubble on his jaw. 

Liam’s face lit up, and he smiled widely.

“That’s great!” he said happily. 

“What’s with the baby talk all of a sudden?” she asked, resting her head on his shoulder. 

“I like seeing you with them,” he said, inclining his head towards the twins’ door. “And I’ve always wanted a big family,” he said quietly. 

“How big?”

“Maybe six or seven,” Liam said, smiling sheepishly. 

Ali shot up out of his arms. 

“SIX OR SEVEN!” she shrieked, her eyes basically popping out of her head. 

Liam laughed and pulled her back down against him. 

“We can talk about the amount later,” he said, a hint of a smile still on his face. 

“I am not pushing seven babies out of me, Liam. I’ll give you three at most,” she said.

“Shhh, we’ll talk about it when the time comes.”

Ali could tell that he was still smiling as he spoke.

CHAPTER 18

It was freezing out. December was in full swing and as the snow fell softly outside, Ali was glad to be in the safety of Drake and Liam’s apartment, trapped on the couch within a blanket burrito of her own making. Winter was her favorite season and there was nothing she loved more than being cuddled up under warm blankets while there was a slight chill in the air of the apartment. Drake had been scarce recently, and Ali had suspicions that he was seeing someone even if he refused to confirm it. Liam, however, was due back home from work any second, and she was eagerly awaiting his return. 

As she was reaching for the remote to change the channel, the door opened and the man who was plaguing her thoughts walked in bundled up in a long, black, wool coat, and burgundy scarf in attempts to block out the cold, New York air. There was a slight sprinkling of snow covering his clothing, and as he saw Ali curled up on the couch, he was filled with both envy of her warmth and amusement at her ridiculous appearance. He quickly shrugged off his coat, pulled the blankets off of her and dropped down on top of her small frame. She jumped at the intrusion and hastily reached over his back to throw the blankets back over them.

“What are you doing?” she half-screamed, her body now shivering along with his. 

“I was cold,” he said with a chuckle, resting his head on her chest. 

Ali smiled down at him and relaxed as she felt the material of his suit jacket under her fingers. She loved the playful side of her boyfriend that not many got to see. However, not seconds later, she jumped again as Liam pushed her shirt up, gripping onto the warm skin of her sides with his cold hands.

“Your hands are freezing!” she said. 

She squirmed underneath him in attempts to get away from him, but the weight of his body on top of hers kept her firmly in place. 

“Stop touching me with your disgustingly cold fingers,” she whined, still trying to push him away.

“But, you’re so warm,” he spoke into the soft material of her shirt. 

By now his hands were beginning to warm up, and although she wanted to be petty and continue to complain about his actions, her heart softened as he closed his eyes and attempted to wrap his arms around her. Ali moved her own hands up from his back and began to run her fingers gently through Liam’s blond hair, causing his body to melt closer into her.

“You’re so lucky that I love you,” she teased.

“I know.”

CHAPTER 20

Ali shoved her face deeper into her pillow as her tears continued to flow freely down her face. She pulled her blankets up tighter around her body, and she wished that she could just will away this feeling. She hated that she got like this. She hated that her mind made her feel this way: feel like everything was hopeless, feel like hurting herself. 

She had been doing so well. Maybe “well” wasn’t the right word. She had been stable. She had been stable until Liam came into her life. After meeting him she had been happier. Liam made her happy. They had been together for five months, and this was the first truly bad few days she had since they first started seeing each other. She honestly couldn’t even remember what had caused it in the first place. It had been something small, something stupid, and then all of a sudden she was spiralling. She was cycling through every bad feeling she had ever had. She was feeling insecure, scared, angry. Everything felt bad, and she didn’t know how to deal with it.

Liam had been calling her for the past two days, but she had managed to get rid of him every time. She didn’t want him to see her like this. She didn’t want anyone to see her like this, but she couldn’t exactly stop the Larsons from barging in. She appreciated their concern and their help, she truly did. She wouldn’t have been able to get over her parents’ death without them. But, as sympathetic as they were, they didn’t understand that she didn’t have an explanation for what was going on. 

Ali heard her door open and close, before heavy footfalls began approaching the bed. She burrowed deeper into her sheets, expecting Luca to just go away when she didn’t say anything. Instead, she heard a shuffling noise coming from her bookshelf and felt the other side of her bed dip, the side of someone’s arm pressing gently against her back. 

“Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much,” a deep accented voice spoke from next to her.

Ali’s eyebrows furrowed as she listened to Liam read the opening lines of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. 

“They were the last people you’d expect to be involved in anything strange or mysterious, because they just didn’t hold with such nonsense,” he continued. 

Ali turned her head just enough to see Liam lying on his back next to her, the book held tightly in his hands. 

“What are you doing?” she asked, her voice nasally from her crying.

“I hope you don’t mind. I know how much you love these books, so I figured I should read them too,” he said, smiling down at her. 

He was trying to sound casual, but there was still a tender look in his eyes that showed his true intentions. 

Ali’s eyes began to well up with tears again. This time, however, they were happy tears. The man who she had been trying to hide from was the one that she needed. He wanted to be there for her even if she felt like she didn’t deserve it. She loved him. She loved him so much. 

“Okay,” she said, cuddling into his arm and letting the sound of his voice soothe her into a peaceful sleep. 

CHAPTER 21

“Hey, do you know about the vampire rock band? I heard they sucked!”

Liam groaned causing Ali to chuckle evilly. He sat up against the headboard of his bed and grabbed her by the waist, pulling her into his lap. She rested her back comfortably against his chest, and continued to flip through the joke book that she had gotten from the discount bookshop that they had visited earlier that day. The man rested his chin on her shoulder, reading some of the jokes over her shoulder as she turned the pages. 

“Okay, how about this one? Just burned 2,000 calories. That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap,” she tried again, desperate to get him to laugh at something. 

“I believe that’s what people call a fire hazard,” Liam said, gently rubbing his hand up and down her arm. 

Ali groaned at his response and leaned back further into his chest, letting her legs stretch out in front of her. 

“I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down,” she said, giggling to herself. 

“I love it when you laugh,” he whispered softly in her ear. 

The sincerity in his voice took her breath away for a moment. She smiled, knowing that he meant it. 

“I love it when you laugh too. That’s why I’ve been reading you puns for the past half an hour,” she said playfully, turning her head just enough to place a soft kiss on his jaw. 

Liam buried his face in the crook of her neck, wrapping his arms tightly around her. She was just about to read out a joke about Cinderella being thrown off of a sports team for running away from the ball when she heard it. He said the words so quietly that she almost thought she had imagined it. But, then he whispered it again. His lips brushing up against the shell of her ear. 

“I love you.” 

They had never said that to each other before. Ali’s entire body seized up for a moment before she relaxed again. A large, goofy smile spread across her face as she turned in his arms to face him. There was a mixture of hope and hesitation in his eyes as she looked at his face. 

“I love you too,” she said, biting her lip to keep from smiling too much and creeping him out. 

He brushed his lips against hers gently, before they returned back to their previous position of her leaning back against him. Neither of them spoke for a moment, but they both knew that something had changed between them. The silence was interrupted by Liam’s low chuckle a few minutes later.

“What?” she asked.

“I’m positive I just lost an electron. Better keep an ion that.”

CHAPTER 23

Ali felt great. The sugary cocktail she had with dinner was definitely making her feel amazing. She swung her hips to the music that was playing through the speakers of Liam’s living room, aware of the man’s gaze on her back. She listened intently to the music, waiting for her cue. 

“I get wings to fly

Oh, oh....I'm alive”

She belted out the words, her voice mixing in with Celine Dion’s as she turned dramatically on her heels to face her boyfriend. Liam bit back a laugh, staring at her fondly as she continued to serenade him. 

“When you call on me”

She followed this line by pointing aggressively in his direction. 

“When I hear you breathe

I get wings to fly

I feel that I'm alive” 

She continued to sing and dance, her voice becoming more off key the louder she got. 

“Liam! Sing with me!” she said, lunging towards him and grabbing his hands in hers. 

She pulled him up to his feet, losing balance herself for a moment before he straightened them both up.

“I’m not sure you want that, love,” he responded, smiling happily down at her.

“Please?” she begged, pushing herself up onto her toes to gently peck his lips. 

Liam looked around sheepishly for a moment as if to make sure no one was around before giving her a mischievous smile. 

“You've set my heart on fire

Filled me with love

Made me a woman on clouds above”

“What are the two of you doing?” Drake asked.

Neither of them had realized that he was home, but he had obviously just come out of his room and was looking at them like they were crazy.

“Having fun,” Ali responded as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“And singing completely off key is fun?”

“Extremely,” Liam replied calmly.

“Liam, harmonize with me. You go high, I’ll go low,” Ali said, preparing herself for the upcoming chorus. 

“And it's only begun

I can't wait for the

Rest of my life”

They sang together, Liam’s voice cracking as he tried to carry out the word “life” in a high note.

“You guys are ridiculous,” Drake mumbled.

[bburningbridges]

diligent

summary: Wash is diligent, and he’s not going to die in an underwater fridge because of an Epsilon knock-off, thank you very much. 

+

Washington is diligent, almost to a fault--everyone can agree that his unwillingness to quit has kept alive in the most ridiculous of situations, it’s as admirable as it is somewhat scary--and that’s not going to change because of some second-rate Church doppelganger.

But.

And that’s the thing--the ‘but.’

Wash hasn’t operated with a ‘x but y’ mentality for a while. At first, it was ‘the reds and blues are idiots but that does mean he can’t kill them,’ then ‘they’re idiots but they saved his life’ and then ‘tucker is his team but he hates wash and wash hates him’ and then, finally, after so much goddamn fighting and pain it was just--’Wash has a family, and he’s going to live.’ No ifs, ands, or buts.

And now…

He hates that his entire body is frozen and on high alert all at once--he can feel the spike of adrenaline and is all too aware that there’s nothing he can do with it, except breathe in filtered, putrid air and drown in his panic.

It’s such spectacularly shitty timing, so maybe Temple isn’t that far off from being like Church. Wash almost laughs, but he might vomit if he does anything more than breathe slow.

He thinks of the beach, the water, the sun, the waves and the single, red sailboat. The picture of York and Carolina and Illinois--who is here, here and fucking dead frozen in his suit and a corpse stuck inside--and he thinks about the Reds and Blues, and Tucker and Carolina, holding her hand and the beach and the water--

“Fuck,” he says, voice wobbling, “fuck, fuck, fucking hell.”

“Wash--”

He can hear her saying his name but he can’t--he isn’t Wash from the beach right now. He’s not the guy who can say things like ‘you don’t have to destroy your past to have a future’ and he’s not the guy who can hold Carolina’s hand and live to tell the tale. Or not live at all. “Fuck!” he yells again, louder, so loud it hurts his throat.

“Wash! Wash I--”

“Carolina,” he says, somewhere between a sob and a plea, he’s not really sure what comes out of his mouth. It doesn’t sound like him at all. He hasn’t been this helpless in his life--not even when he was young, back when he forced a kid’s head into a mirror.

“We have to--do something I--we just--”

“I don’t know,” Wash says. His breathing is so fucking loud in his own helmet, the stench of death has crept into his suit through the filters and he can’t escape. “Carolina, I can’t think, there’s too much I can’t--it’s the smell it’s--”

“Okay,” she says, and she sounds winded, probably from fighting her suit, “okay, that’s--that’s...well, I won’t lie. I was kind of hoping you had something.”

“I’ve got a rep of being unreliable,” Wash says numbly. He can’t even feel self-pity--he can’t feel anything. It’s not going away.

“Wash…”

“I’m sorry. Carolina, I’m sorry.” His lips are moving; he’s not controlling what comes out. “I’m so sorry.”

She doesn’t say anything, but he hears her sigh, and for a single, terrifying second, he realizes he’s pretty sure this is what despair feels like. Helplessness, the strong smell of rotting corpses, unable to see Carolina in his peripheral but all too aware of her at the same time.

He could cry.

“I don’t want to die in here, David.”

That prompts a warm tear to roll down his cheek and Wash can’t even fucking wipe it away. He feels it slide all the way down to his chin and drip off.

But as soon as it’s gone, he realizes that Temple’s severely underestimated him, his diligence. He’s survived worse. If he could walk away whole from a fucking one-on-one with Locus, then some wannabe with a sniper rifle and a fancy remote isn’t gonna be the one to take him down.

It’s something in the way that Carolina calls him by name, the tremble in her voice, how it echoes and how alone they are that makes Wash finally, finally calm down.

As a former shitty person, Wash remembers what robotic rage feels like; it’s like what ices his veins right now, calms the adrenaline and replaces it with something so much worse.

“We’re not going to,” his voice sounds terrible. Wrecked, reborn, forged out of the worst parts of him.

“We can’t,” he adds, and despite himself, feels another tear make its way down his cheek.

+

It’s Tucker that releases the suits; Wash could kiss him, if he weren’t so delirious.

“Holy fuck, Wash! Carolina! Are you guys...alive?”

Wash has to truly think about that answer. He’s breathing, but his stomach feels like it’s starting to cave inwards and his brain is fuzzy, blurry, he can’t quite see. Nonetheless, as soon as he’s able, to scrambles to Carolina, gets her hand in his and only then can he can confirm anything to Tucker.

“We are,” he says, voice raw. “You saved us in time, Tucker.”

Carolina is squeezing hard for something on the brink of death. She also seems to have no intentions of letting go. “Where is Temple?”

Wash doesn’t smile; that’s a familiar tone. He hasn’t heard Carolina sound like that since before the crash on Chorus.

“He escaped, but he’s got the place wired to explode any minute now. I got him in the leg before he slithered off but I don’t know if it was enough to stop him.”

“So he’s still alive?”

“Un-fucking-fortunately.”

“Good,” Carolina nods. “That means I still get to kill him.”

“I--” says Tucker, then cuts himself off, “oh, shit.” He shifts his stance, then shrugs. “Well, can’t really blame you for that. Can you two walk?”

It takes Tucker’s help, but Wash and Carolina eventually get themselves moving again. Wash remembers they’re underwater, and as silly as it is, wishes he could escape to the water and drown in it, he’s so damn thirsty. “How did you guys get Temple to run off?”

“Caboose’s suit doesn’t have the lock function. The fucker thought he knew us? That’s a pretty fucking big detail to not know if your whole stupid plan relied on it.” Tucker presses a hand to the side of his helmet. “Simmons, I got Wash and Carolina. How much longer do we have?”

Wash doesn’t like the sound he makes in reply. Carolina glances at him, her grip finally loosening. “Not much, I’m guessing?”

“There’s escape pods, but I don’t think we’re near any of them. You guys are gonna have to pick up the pace so we can make it to the nearest ones.” He doesn’t say it with any venom, just states it like an unfortunate fact. “Simmons got a hold of the ship’s schematics. Left this way.”

“Are the others…?”

“Well, Caboose knocked Temple the fuck out for a while and Sarge got him and the Reds the hell out of dodge. Oh, and Temple had a whole cheesyass evil villain spiel and threw all our copycats under the bus so they ditched his dumb ass.”

“You stayed behind for us?”

“Of fucking course, dude,” Tucker says, like Wash is stupid for even being surprised. “You’re annoying and cryptic as shit, but I pretty much fought another planet’s civil war to get you back once, everything is pretty weakshit in comparison to that. And Carolina’s family. Both of you are. Temple’s not taking you away from me, no matter how big of a revenge boner he’s got.”

Wash….doesn’t say anything beyond, “Oh,” and then tries not to blush under his helmet.

“Cute,” Carolina says raggedly.

“Listen, save the teasing to when you’re alive enough that I won’t feel like a dick for bitching back at you.”

She snorts, and Tucker tugs them both into a hard right. “I’m just glad I wasn’t too late,” Tucker says. “Temple talked like you two were already dead. I didn’t believe him for a second, but it still felt really fucking good when Caboose clocked his ass.”

“How did you not believe him? We’ve been down there for days.”

“Yeah,” Tucker snorts, “And Wash is a literal fucking cockroach. I won’t believe his ass can die until I see it for myself.”

It feels like an insult, but it also feels like Tucker, and Wash basks in the familiarity. The weight of reality isn’t as crushing this way.

When they finally reach the escape pod, Wash and Carolina collapse on top of each other and Tucker takes to the controls. For a few moments, the travel peacefully through the water, and then an explosion behind them shakes the entire ship.

Tucker slides down beside them once they’re safely out of harm’s way. “Y’all are both cockroaches,” he comments plainly.

“Thanks,” Wash says dryly.

“It’s a compliment, dude. I mean, you’re both strong as shit. I don’t even want to think about what the fuck he put you through. I don’t think….I don’t think I would’ve made it as long as you guys did.”

“I knew we wouldn’t die there,” Wash says plaintively. “You get separation anxiety if we’re apart longer than five minutes, let alone five days.”

“So you were counting on me to save you?”

Wash shrugs, which takes more energy out of him than he cares to admit.

“Jesus,” Tucker says, “You lived because...you believed in me that hard?”

“He’s pretty good at that,” Carolina says. “Believing in people. I don’t know how he does it.”

“Me neither.”

Wash really is too tired to be properly embarrassed by the awe in their voice. He leans his head back and it thunks on the wall. The air is stuffy but not putrid in the pod, but the sudden thought of filtering shitty, corpse-tainted air for five days straight nearly makes him puke. “Tucker, take off my helmet.”

He half expects a fight, but Tucker does it without a single protest. As the air releases, Wash blinks, and he’s staring at Tucker’s blue-tinted visor. “Shit, you look fucking terrible, dude.”

“Dying does that to you,” Wash deadpans, as Tucker moves to release Carolina’s helmet as well. When Wash sees her, he gets Tucker’s reaction--if he looks even half that bad, he may as well be a corpse.

His eyes are drifting closed when Tucker pops off his helmet as well, and so quickly that Wash’s eyes can’t follow, leans down to drop a kiss directly on his lips. It’s quick and he pulls away a half-second later. “Good news, buzzkill. You’re not dead yet.”

Wash is vaguely aware he’s still holding Carolina’s hand--which makes for a weird setup, to be perfectly honest--but he smiles weakly and blinks tired eyes at Tucker. “Thanks to you, smartass.”

“Not to crash your moment,” Carolina interjects, actually sounding regretful, “but does this ship have any water?”

“Right,” Tucker says, and goes to check. Carolina gives his hand a small squeeze, and Wash just grins stupidly.

“Lina,” he says.

“Yeah?”

“Believing in people isn’t that hard when it’s people like you. People like Tucker. You guys make it easy.”

Carolina doesn’t say anything for a moment, then, “Dammit, Wash, when did you get so good?”

“When I decided I didn’t want to be shitty anymore. The company helps.”

She laughs--a bizarre, bark of a sound, but it gets Wash laughing too, and when Tucker returns with two water packs, Wash might be crying from how hard he’s laughing, and he doesn’t even care.

[badchoicesposts]

Don’t Dream It’s Over Chapter 16

Series Summary: Liam and Ali thought that their relationship was perfect, but their whole world came crashing down when Constantine called him back to Cordonia. Four years later they meet again at Liam’s bachelor party, determined to make things between them work even if it isn’t always easy.

In this AU, Liam and MC (Ali Moonessar) dated for a year in New York while Leo was still crown prince. They broke up when Constantine asked Liam to come back to Cordonia, but they meet again at Liam’s bachelor party before the social season. The story will contain flashbacks, which will be italicized, of their relationship and follow them as they try to navigate the season with Ali as a suitor. I’ve messed around with the timeline a bit so that it fits the story better. I’ve also added in a few OCs of my own.

Pairing: Liam x MC (Ali Moonessar) 

DISCLAIMER: I’ve changed up the timeline of the social season a bit to fit my story better. I’ve based it off of some research I did on the British Social Season. Some of the dialogue was taken directly from Book 1 of The Royal Romance but was changed a bit to fit my fic.

Taglist: @flowerpowell, @ao719, @kingliam2019, @emceesynonymroll, @hopefulmoonobject, @dcbbw, @qammh-blog, @liamxs-world, @drakesensworld, @i-only-signed-up-for-fanfiction, @lauradowning29, @texaskitten30, @senseofduties, @indiacater, @alexintheskyy, @jared2612

A/N: This is my first time ever posting a fic. Please let me know if you enjoyed it and would like to read more. I thrive on validation, lol. Thanks for reading!

Catch Up: Masterlist

Olivia’s party itself wasn’t the worst thing in the world. Ali made casual conversation with Penelope and Kiara, and her conversation with Olivia seemed to be pleasant enough. She just wished she could have done it on solid ground. 

The smell of the salty sea water overtook her senses and her shoulders relaxed as she and Maxwell made their way over to where Hana and Lizzie stood at the beach party’s buffet table. 

“Wow, these appetizers seem kind of fishy,” Ali said, recoiling at the pungent smell. 

She had never liked seafood and had to keep herself from gagging as she watched Maxwell take a bite of something that appeared to still be moving. 

“I’m going to go stand over there before I throw up again,” she said taking a few steps back, before noticing that Drake was waving her over to another picnic area. 

“Is that barbecue?” she asked, her eyes sweeping over the loaded table.

“Liam thought you would appreciate it. A little taste of home,” he said as the others walked over to them. 

Ali smiled while her stomach grumbled loudly. Now that she was away from all of the seafood she was suddenly starving. 

 “I love a good barbecue,” Drake said, happier than Ali had seen him in a while. “Reminds me of cookouts on the lawn and summers with family.”

“That’s sweet Drake,” she said.

“It is not. Now, would you rather talk or would you rather eat.”

Ali rolled her eyes as each of them began to fill up their plates. They devoured their food, Maxwell covered completely in sauce, all excited about the menu changes.

“That was so good,” Maxwell moaned out after they had finished eating.

Ali felt completely relaxed as they all hummed in agreement. She was currently away from the press and surrounded by people she was comfortable with. 

“I don’t know about you guys, but I’m ready to enjoy the water,” Drake said, standing up and peeling his shirt off. 

Ali looked over to Maxwell, who had been trying to wipe his face clean, and grabbed a napkin to get the spot that he continued to miss.

“I didn’t bring a bathing suit. You guys go ahead,” she said, turning his face in her hand so she could wipe his cheek. 

She caught sight of Liam standing a little way from them speaking with Regina and Madeleine. He smiled at the sight of her and Maxwell, and returned to his conversation. 

“Good as new,” she said, finally pulling the napkin away from his face, and admiring her handiwork. 

The two of them took a seat on the sand, and Ali kicked off her shoes, burying her toes in its warmth. 

“You don’t want to go swim with the others?” she asked him, motioning to where Drake, Hana, and Lizzie were playing in the water.

“After a meal like that I just want to stretch out like a beached whale,” he said, leaning back onto his elbows and allowing the sun to warm his face. 

“I’ve never really be a beach person, but I have to admit that this is kind of nice,” she said, leaning back as well. 

“How are you not a beach person?” Maxwell asked, sitting up quickly with his jaw hanging open.

“I don’t know how to swim.”

“You don’t know how to swim!” he repeated.

“I love the feeling of being in the water, but I’ve always been terrified of learning how to swim.”

“I believe I’ve tried to teach you several times, but I remember you refusing to let go of me,” Liam said, taking a seat next to them and handing her a glass of mint lemonade.

She shoved him playfully and took a few sips of the cold liquid, allowing it to cool her down before handing the glass to Maxwell and letting him do the same.

~~~

Ali tugged self consciously at the high-waisted, two piece bathing suit that Emma had forced her to get. It was getting hotter and hotter every day, and when Liam learned that she didn’t know how to swim, he decided to make it his life's mission to teach her. The building that he lived in had its own private pool, and as she watched him swim a few laps across it under the moonlight, she couldn’t help but think of how romantic this would have been if she wasn’t so terrified of drowning. 

“Come in with me,” Liam said, swimming up to where she was dangling her legs into the water and wrapping his hands gently around her ankles. 

“I have no problem coming in with you as long as I can stay in the shallow end,” she said was a sweet smile, lowering herself into the pool. 

She sighed as she sunk into the cool water, her feet touching the floor of the pool and the water coming up to her chest. She had always loved the feeling of being in the water. It was oddly liberating considering she was afraid to swim, but she couldn’t deny that just standing in the pool made her muscles relax in a satisfying way. 

“Come in a little further,” Liam coaxed, grabbing her hands and trying to pull her closer to the middle of the pool. 

Ali took a deep breath and allowed her body to flow through the water, guided by his movements. Her breath hitched as the ground began to fall away under her, but Liam instinctively pulled her closer to him, wrapping his arms around her waist so that she knew she was secure. 

“Lean back. I’ll help you balance so you can float,” he said, gently pushing her back. 

Ali hesitated.

“You know, I’m okay with not knowing how to swim,” she said, resisting his movements. 

“You should learn. What if something happens and you need to swim to survive?” he asked, with an amused smile.

“That’s why I have you,” she responded sarcastically.

“And what if I’m not there?”

“Then I guess I’ll just die,” she said.

Liam rolled his eyes in response. 

“Besides, I can think of something we could do instead,” she said, wrapping her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist. 

She pulled him into a soft lingering kiss. 

“That’s not going to work,” he said, pulling away with a clear amount of difficulty.

“Oh, fine,” she gave in, leaning back into the water. 

“You need to relax your body,” he said, his hands on her back under the water, holding her up. 

She attempted to follow his instructions several times, but she never succeeded. The position she was in felt unnatural. 

“I can’t do this,” she said, getting increasingly agitated and stiffening her body even more. 

“Just close your eyes,” Liam instructed. 

“Liam, I don’t want to close my eyes.”

“Please, just do it,” he said with an exasperated sigh. 

He originally thought that this was going to be a much easier task. He had underestimated his girlfriend’s stubbornness and unwillingness to learn something she was afraid of. 

Ali rolled her eyes in annoyance before closing them. 

“Good, now just relax and listen to the sound of my voice,” he said. “Just focus on me.” 

He proceeded to speak in a soft soothing voice about whatever came to his mind, and before Ali knew it her body had relaxed. 

“I think I did it!” she said excitedly, opening her eyes only to find Liam standing in the water a few feet away from her. 

The proud smile that he was wearing was quickly replaced by a look of fear as her body stiffened again, and her arms and legs began flailing as her head fell below the surface. 

“Why did you let go of me!” she yelled, grabbing onto his shoulders tightly as he pulled her back to his body.

“You were doing so well! I thought you would be okay,” Liam said, an apologetic smile on his face.

 “I would kill you if I didn’t need your help getting out of here.”

The man threw his head back and laughed. 

“I promise I’ll make it up to you,” he said, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead.

She narrowed her eyes at the amused expression that he still wore on his face but decided against addressing it. 

“You better.”

~~~

“I hope you don’t mind, but I’ve come to steal you away for a few moments. There’s a place nearby that I would like to share with you,” he said hopefully. 

“Of course,” she said, standing up, “I’ll see you later, Maxwell.”

Maxwell saluted the two of them and laid back with his arms behind his head. 

Liam took Ali’s hand and lead her through some brush. After a short hike they arrived at a picturesque waterfall. 

“Wow,” she said, taking in the sight before her. 

Liam wrapped his arms around her from behind and pulled her back into his chest. 

“Forgotten Falls. I used to come here when I was a child. It’s one of my favorite places,” he said.

They stood in silence for a moment, listening to the rush of the water, before he took her hand and led her over to the edge of the pool that the waterfall flowed into. 

“Come in with me,” he whispered, his lips ghosting over the shell of her ear.

A shiver went down her spine as she leaned into his body.

“I didn’t bring a bathing suit,” she breathed out.

“You don’t need one,” he whispered, pulling her into a heated kiss. 

As their lips moved together, Ali felt Liam’s hands grasp the bottom of the shirt she was wearing. They separated long enough for him to pull it off her body before he reattached his lips to hers. He reached around her back and unhooked the clasp of her bra. Ali gasped against his lips as it fell away from her, and the cool air hit her skin. Liam finally broke the kiss and removed his own clothing as she stripped her bottom half. He carefully pulled her glasses from her face and placed it down near their clothes, before grabbing her hand in his and leading her into the water.

“Don’t worry. I won’t let go this time,” he said, as she clutched his hand tighter, the double meaning of the phrase evident in the way he said it.

He moved out into deeper water while she struggled to calm her rapidly beating heart. They stopped at the base of the waterfall and Liam helped her wrap her legs around his waist, their chests pressed together. He spun her underneath the falling water, and she threw her head back allowing her face to get wet. A euphoric feeling washed over her as she wrapped her arms around Liam’s neck and leaned her forehead against his, water dripping down their bare skin. 

“Thank you for bringing me here,” she whispered. 

The two of them stayed under the falling water for a while longer wrapped tightly in each other’s arms, mostly because Ali refused to let go of him when her feet couldn’t touch the bottom, before returning back to the edge of the pool and getting out. 

“I hate to ruin the moment, but I think we need to continue our conversation from earlier,” she said, as they sat letting the sun dry their skin.

Liam sighed and his shoulders sagged.

“My father has always drilled the importance of finding a suitable wife into me. It wasn’t nearly as bad when Leo was still Crown Prince, but now that the social season has begun and I am to become King, he has gotten more insistent. In the past few weeks he’s repeatedly mentioned that the country can only thrive with proper leaders, and that I can’t let my feelings cloud my judgement when it comes to picking the future queen,” he said the last part quietly. 

“I assume he’s referring to our relationship,” she said, prompting him to continue.

“He’s been pushing me to choose one of the other suitors. Someone who was born and raised in this life. I didn’t understand why he was being so forceful until his announcement today.”

“You know, for a second after the race today it seemed like he actually liked me. I thought that maybe I was just being paranoid for originally thinking that he didn’t. He seemed so genuinely happy. But, I guess he just needed to pretend for the cameras,” she said, twiddling her thumbs. 

“He was happy. I think he understands how we feel for each other, but at the same time, he believes that it could be a risk to have someone new to this life take the throne. He mentioned something to me in passing,” he trailed off.

“What?” she asked.

Liam was suddenly focusing extremely hard on a blade of grass nearby. He stared intently at it, not speaking.

“Tell me,” she persisted.

“He said that the best way to keep you in my life and make sure Cordonia had a proper queen would be to choose one of the other ladies to be my wife and… to keep you as my mistress,” Liam said, looking completely ashamed.

Ali suddenly felt too exposed. She grabbed her clothes from where they were sitting nearby and hastily redressed. The fabric immediately began sticking to her still damp skin, but she pushed the feeling of discomfort out of her mind. She felt as if she were going to be sick again at any moment. 

“He wants me to choose Madeleine,” Liam said, as she sat down beside him again.

“I- um, I’m not sure what to say,” she fumbled with her words. “What did you tell him?”

“I didn’t say anything. It had caught me off guard when he mentioned it, and I was unsure of how to respond,” he said, refusing to meet her eyes.

“You’re not seriously considering it are you?” she asked, her voice hardening now. 

She loved Liam, and she would do just about anything to be with him, but becoming his mistress was where she drew the line. She would never be the other woman. 

“No, of course not!” Liam said quickly, as he took in her angry features. “I would never ask you to do that.”

Ali calmed down a little, but her body refused to relax completely. The weight of his words still weighed her down. The word “mistress” echoed loudly in her mind. She kept clenching and unclenching her fist, and Liam could feel the anger still radiating off of her body. 

“My love, I respect you too much to ever reduce you to that. You must know that,” he said.

Ali stayed silent, not wanting her anger to make her say something she didn’t mean. 

“Ali? You know that right?”

“I do. It’s just the fact that he suggested it in the first place,” she said.

“It’s not uncommon for relationships like that to happen to court. Most nobles enter into political marriages, and then seek out extramarital affairs in attempts to find happiness.”

“That doesn’t make me feel better.”

Liam took her hand in his but made sure to leave enough distance between the two of them in case she didn’t want him too close. 

“Did he tell you why he’s stepping down so soon?” she asked, eager to change the subject.

“He refused. Every time I’ve mentioned it today he said we should enjoy the festivities and that we would speak later.”

A heavy silence fell over them.

“What does this mean for us?” Ali finally asked.

“My father can push me as much as he likes, but he can not make my decision for me. He can not force me to marry Madeleine or anyone else,” Liam said firmly.

They both looked out at the water in front of them, neither wanting to speak. 

“Would you be able to do it?” he murmured, finally breaking the silence.

“What?” Ali asked, having just barely heard him.

“Would you be able to do it? Go straight from being a suitor to being a queen. I had assumed that you would have more of an adjustment period after we got married to get situated in your role at court, but now you’ll be thrown straight into the position of a ruler. Do you think you would be able to do it? Did you really mean it earlier when you said you wanted to lead Cordonia into the future?” 

Ali took a deep breath and lifted her head. That was something she had been wondering since Constantine had made his announcement earlier. 

“Honestly, I’m kind of terrified,” she admitted, and she watched as Liam’s shoulders sank further. 

She rested one hand on his shoulder and used the other to turn his face towards her, moving to sit closer to him.

“But, just because I’m scared doesn’t mean that I can’t do it. I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve let that fear hold me back before, but I’m not going to this time. I’m scared of this, but I also want it more than I’ve wanted anything else. I want you. I want a relationship with you. I want a life with you, and I want a life in Cordonia. I’ve only been here for a few months and already I can’t imagine ever living anywhere else. I can’t imagine going back to New York and leaving this place or the people here behind.”

“I know that if I become queen it’ll probably be the most difficult job in the world, but I want it anyway because it’ll give me the power to make a difference. I can relate to the people of Cordonia in a way that none of the other noble ladies can. I’ve been doing some research and even though Cordonia’s monarchy is wealthy, the country itself is made up of primarily working class citizens, and I’ve been in their place while none of the other ladies have. I know what it’s like to have to work for everything you have, to have to fight to put food on the table. I can relate to the people, and I can help them, Liam. I can do this. I know I can,” she said, in a strong voice. 

Liam looked both relieved as a few happy tears welled up in his eyes. He reached over and pulled her into a passionate kiss, tangling his fingers in her wet hair. She rested her forehead against his shoulder after he broke the kiss. Some of the tension seemed to disappear, but there was still a heaviness hanging in the air. 

“I wish this was easier,” Ali mumbled, tossing him his clothes and standing back up. “You should get dressed. We need to head back.”

Ali felt unsettled as she walked back to the beach with Liam holding tightly onto her hand. 

“I love you,” Liam said as they stepped back onto the beach.

“I know you do,” she whispered.

The sun was just now beginning to set, and the sky behind the ocean was slowly beginning to turn orange. It was a beautiful night, but Ali couldn’t seem to turn her mind off long enough to enjoy it. 

“Hey, where have you guys been?” Maxwell asked, as they approached the spot where he sat staring out at the water. 

“We just went for a walk,” Ali said, dropping down onto the sand next to him. 

“Why’s your hair wet? I thought you didn’t bring a bathing suit,” he whispered in her ear.

Ali’s jaw dropped, and she pulled away to see a smirk on his face. 

“Where is everyone else?” she asked, trying to hide the blush that rose onto her cheeks by looking around. She quickly noticed that they were some of the only people still on the beach.

“Almost everyone’s already headed back to the palace. I was just waiting for you.”

Maxwell rose to his feet and held out his arm to help pull her up as well. The two of them said goodnight to Liam and got in the limo that was waiting to take them back to the palace. 

Ali watched the trees fly past the car window throughout the drive, and her mind wandered back on her time in Cordonia. She and the Beaumonts had only attended a few personal dinners since the beginning of the social season, and they all seemed to have gone over well. The larger full court events had been a success too. There was always someone new to talk to, and Liam almost always ended up at her side during the gatherings drawing the attention of everyone around them. Even though there were so many more people in attendance at the fuller scale events, they somehow seemed less intimidating. There had been a small snag after the story about her and Drake had broken. Well, it was more than a small snag. There were some people that outright seemed to hate her for it. People were harsh, saying the nastiest things behind their phone and computer screens. But, the buzz of that seemed to die down, except for the spare question here or the quiet whispering there, as people noticed how much time she was spending with Liam. Overall, she felt as if she had done a good job at fitting in. She just wished that it had been enough to convince Constantine that she was capable of being a good queen.

It was hard for her to believe that it had only been about two months since the night of Liam’s bachelor party. That night truly changed her life in a way she had never expected. She smiled to herself as she remembered how everything had happened. However, the smile was gone as soon as it came. The more she thought about it the more it made sense. 

The limo pulled up to the palace, and Ali jumped out as soon as it stopped moving. 

“Hey, do you want to watch a movie tonight?” Maxwell asked her as he scrolled through something on his phone. 

Ali could feel her hands starting to shake as she walked ahead of him. She had heard his voice, but she didn’t comprehend his words. 

“Ali?” he called after her, pulling her out of her thoughts.

Ali stopped walking and put a smile on her face. 

“Sorry, I didn’t hear you,” she said, her voice wavering slightly. 

“I asked if you wanted to watch a movie tonight? Are you okay?” he asked. 

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just a little tired. I’m going to have to take a raincheck on that movie. I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said before hurrying through the palace halls to her room. 

She allowed her door to slam shut behind her, barely registering the noise. Her heart was beating rapidly, and she wasn’t sure what to do with herself. She took a few deep breaths in an attempt to calm her nerves, but found that instead of helping, this seemed to make it harder to breathe. The tears that were falling down her cheeks were wiped away frantically as she made her way back out into the hallway.

Ali took another deep breath and knocked rapidly on the door of the room right next to hers. It felt like a million years had passed by while she waited for it to open. The only thing that she could focus on was how loudly her heart seemed to be hammering in her chest. 

Drake finally appeared on the other side dressed only in a pair of plaid pajama pants, obviously ready for bed.  

“What happened?” he asked, taking in her red-rimmed eyes and tear streaked face.

“Can I come in?” she asked, voice shaking.

Drake moved out of the way to let her through and watched as she began pacing the length of floor in front of his bed. 

“I’m really sorry to do this, but I don’t know who else to go to. You’re the only one I can trust with this,” she said, still walking back and forth.

“What’s going on?” he asked, getting increasingly concerned. 

“I need a favor. Not a big favor. Well, it’s kind of a big favor. I just can’t do it myself because if anyone sees it would be bad. Like really bad,” she rambled, the words spewing out of her mouth quicker than she intended. 

“Ali, you’re scaring me. What favor?” Drake asked, stepping towards her and grabbing her arm to stop her pacing.

Ali took a deep breath and looked into his concerned eyes, knowing that everything was going to change once she finally said the words.

“I need you to get me a pregnancy test.”