#but i think he has Also been continuously rejected and misunderstood by like. literally everyone around him for his whole life

[berternies]

autistic ted lasso characters: nathan shelley

struggles to understand relationships

possible meltdowns (yelling at ted and will, spitting at his reflection, tearing down the believe sign)

has a LOT of difficulty with social cues

“i’m not always sure what’s a joke and what isn’t”

need for control and routine (always wearing the same outfit, getting mad when will changes things in the locker room, being very particular about how the bus is packed to go to a match)

black and white thinking

struggles with idioms (“my suit when i was a naked baby”)

one track mind

has a hard time expressing himself

has severe abandonment/self-worth issues (which obviously is not exclusive to autism but can often be an issue that comes with growing up autistic and feeling rejected by everyone)

[panharmonium]

there is....so much going on in this scene.  

the fact that sasuke asks for kakashi!!!

and then, of course, the as-yet unaddressed resentment that starts festering after kakashi doesn’t appear, and the way it has now merged with other (equally untrue) grievances to manifest as embittered rage (i’ve been itching to kill you...)

i think it’s relevant to note, before getting into this further, that kakashi hasn’t actually done any of the things that sasuke starts to resent him for here.  kakashi did NOT send yamato and the kids to go and get sasuke.  this mission was not supposed to take them anywhere NEAR sasuke.  they were supposed to capture a spy in the woods and bring said spy back to the Leaf so that a real, fully-staffed rescue attempt could be planned for later, once kakashi got out of the hospital.  but yamato made an executive decision to mount this retrieval attempt after the original mission blew up in their faces, because he knew that if they didn’t follow orochimaru now, they would never have another chance at finding sasuke before the six-month deadline expired.  kakashi has no idea that team 7 is confronting sasuke right now.  and he didn’t come with them on the original mission because he’s currently lying incapacitated in a hospital bed!  he is literally incapable of standing up, never mind traveling anywhere.

but none of this information is available to sasuke, so all he internalizes is that he’s been DELEGATED.  

and i’ll tell you - that shocks him.

nothing else in this arc fazes him.  sasuke has always known, on some level, that his team cares enough about him to hunt him down, and so when they finally do appear, it’s no more than he’s been anticipating.  he doesn’t so much as roll over in bed when sai breaks into his room and attacks him.  he’s not surprised to see sakura.  he’s not surprised to see naruto.  he’s not surprised that his team has finally shown up to try and drag him home; he’s been expecting that for years.  

but he NEVER expected them to show up without kakashi.  

that was never on the table.  he never thought - it never even occurred to him.  the idea that kakashi wouldn’t even come for him - that he would just send some random substitute instead - that throws sasuke off his footing in a way that nothing else about this arc is able to do.  none of the scenarios he ever played out in his head over the last three years looked like this.  somehow, on some subconscious level, sasuke has always assumed that he was still priority #1 for everyone, and it’s a rude awakening now for him to realize that maybe he was mistaken.

it says a lot about who he perceives kakashi to be, for his assumptions to have been so certain.  despite everything, sasuke’s understanding of his teacher is still rooted in having heard him say “i’ll protect you with my life.”  sasuke expects kakashi to come running after him no matter what’s happened, no matter how long it’s been, no matter how vehemently sasuke protested previous attempts to bring him home or how many people he attacked while he was running away.  the idea that kakashi wouldn’t even bother to show up - that he would just hand sasuke off to some stranger - it throws sasuke for an entire loop.

and obviously, we as the audience know that sasuke’s original assumptions about kakashi were correct, and his perception of the current situation is completely misinformed, but there’s no way for us to tell him that.  and even if this weren’t the case - from a purely objective perspective, sasuke has no rational reason to feel snubbed!  he left the Leaf of his own volition, and he was very vehement (violently so!) about the fact that he did not want anybody to follow him.  but even so, there’s just no winning with this kid.  he resents people when they try to chase him, and he resents them just as much when they don’t.

the thing about sasuke at this point in the story is this: he can talk about breaking his bonds all he wants, but deep down, he wants to have it both ways.  he wants to reject the people who care about him, but he doesn't want them to be okay with it.  he wants to run away, but he doesn’t want them to just let him escape.  he's not planning on letting anybody save him, but he still wants somebody to try.  deep, deep down, where even he himself can’t consciously see it, he wants somebody to come for him.  

it’s not rational or reasonable, but sasuke isn’t in a rational or reasonable state of mind.  he isn’t well right now, and he hasn’t been for a long time.  when the person he unquestioningly expected to come and rescue him doesn’t appear (regardless of the fact that sasuke himself is the one who keeps telling people to stop chasing him!) - he doesn’t process that well at all.  “unfortunately, kakashi couldn’t make it” - like it’s some trivial get-together, like kakashi just didn’t feel like making the time…that completely flies in the face of everything sasuke has been expecting for years (convoluted and unreasonable as those expectations are).  he takes it as a personal insult.  it’s just one more thing for him to feel wronged about, and i guarantee you he is still stewing over it when kakashi finally does catch up with him in season 10.   

let’s be clear, also - it’s not like sasuke was going to just come home to the leaf village even if kakashi did show up!  sasuke would have fought tooth and nail to make kakashi leave him alone, and he would have gotten a kind of vicious satisfaction from rejecting his teacher’s attempts to reach him - but sasuke ALSO would have gotten another kind of satisfaction from knowing that kakashi was still trying to help him.  if kakashi keeps coming for him, then sasuke gets to keep slapping him away.  if kakashi keeps trying to save him, then sasuke has more people to keep fighting against, more bonds to break, more ways to keep making himself “stronger.”  if kakashi keeps warning sasuke about the fact that he’s heading down a self-destructive path, then sasuke has more reasons to continue feeling held back or misunderstood, and he has more reasons to retaliate, by committing himself more and more deeply to damaging choices.  

but if kakashi just takes him at his word and stops coming - if he decides to give sasuke what he “wants” and leave him alone - it means he doesn’t care what sasuke does to himself anymore.  he’s washed his hands of it.  there’s no bond there for sasuke to break, because kakashi has already abandoned the relationship.  he’s already uninterested enough in the situation to send a substitute to pick sasuke up - or that’s how sasuke understands it, at least.  

even though this is ostensibly what sasuke has been asking for the whole time, it’s not what he actually wants.  not “in his heart of hearts,” as kakashi would say.  sasuke wasn’t expecting this.  it takes him by surprise, and he’s still holding onto his bitter feelings about it many seasons later, when kakashi finally does catch up and attempt an intervention of his own.

[theworldweirdweb]

omg u have amazing taste in ships!! u gotta tell me ur top 5

Ahhh thank yu!!!! my first top 3 picks'll be easy but i'm not even sure what i'm gonna pick for the last two yet hehe

(under a read more cuz i wrote WAYYY more than i intended to.)

1. TENMIKO!!!!!

my misunderstood favs. a huge pet peeve of mine is people saying himiko hated/was uncomfortable with tenko when neither of those are true! she was however STRAIGHT UP ANNOYED with that girl which only adds appeal if you aren't a coward.

with that out of the way i adore how their relationship was written. it's cute and sad and opposites attract which are the three main things that matter to me in this cold & unforgiving world.

unfortunatly people tend to reject wlw ships that are complex and have conflict because blah blah society who cares their bonfire event on tenko's route in drs made me tear up tenmiko made me start saying "otp" again and i want them to get married and watch barbie movies together etc etc they make me happy and make me cry and have such an interesting dynamic i think everyone should ship them amen (i'd love to speak about them in a more literate way one day)

2. oumami... *FLOPS OVER FACE FIRST ON THE PAVEMENT RESULTING IN A COMICAL SPLAT NOISE*

everyone already knows... SIGH this started as "haha shipping two of my favs" but now i've been obsessed with them for over a year heartbreak emoji.

i really do think these two belong together. their interactions in the manga make my heart do backflips and i am squinting so hard (complimentary) at thier drs interactions.

they just balance each other out... they both see straight through the other so quickly and are both so closed off and full of self hatred and i want them to learn to love eachother throught the other. its about the "different on the outside, but deep down their the same" dynamic yk. i so think they could find comfort in eachother and they deserve to.

there's also implications neither of them got to properly be a kid and i REALLLLLY think after a while kokichi can bring out rantaro's inner child and they can have so much fun and cause so many problems together.

also i hc kokichi was immediately attracted to rantaro because he has a thing for pretty boys (SEE: shuichi and rantaro)

gee, there's so much i wanna talk about with these two but i'll leave it at that for now. i want them to kiss kiss.

3. saimota (monkey hiding face emoji 3x)

i became so obsessed with these two when i was playing v3 you have NOOOOO idea. so upset they aren't one of the more popular ships.

dni if you don't think kaito momota was closeted gay in love with shuichi saihara. /j

i feel like i don't even need to explain this one just them. <3 they. <3 <3 they both think the other is the coolest person in the world isn't that neat. they see the best in eachother. there is no universe where shuichi and kaito are not meant to be together me thinks <33333

them both seeking confidence strength and refugee in the other them teaching the other how incredible and priceless and celestial they are. GOD. SAIMOTA KISSING AND CUDDLING RN.

is it gay to stare at your bff whiles hes doing pushups. is it gay to kiss after training together. to share a water bottle to *digs into the ground head first like worm*

4. mahiyoko

sorry this is the only non-v3 one on this list i do not control the special interest but. they’re such a lovely couple! similar to saimota i think they belong together no matter what.

couple that slow dances in their living room together at 3 am <333 (hiyoko convinced mahiru to stay up by being cute & fun & continuously givinger her more sweets)

hiyoko’s family made her dependent but mahiru shows her how capable she is and that is doesn’t have to be that way. love.

you cannot fathom how crazy they made me in sdr2. chapters 3 & 4 hurt a lot. mahiru is patient. hiyoko is the hyper girl she needs. kinda similar to oumami in this sense. i they have a lot in common.

also SO aesthetically pleasing omigod

this one isn’t quite as deep as the other one just married and in love. perfect for eachother. eachother’s other half. SIGH.

be wild & insane & sapphic & kiss. big comfort 2 me. love love or whatever monomi said.

5. ranmugi

ok this one is a bit different and i only got into them recently. mostly based off the concept of them being in 52 together and growing close. swobs. normie bf and his nerd gf that he doesn’t understand at all but loves so much? sign me up.

i think their relationship would have some rivalry elements. i just think its funny. they are both autistic . they end up together in my postgame au it justs makes sense.

also i like the theory tsumugi wrote rantaro (if she wrote him at all, that is ) as her ideal partner. fucked up & awesome give me more of this.

they admire and compliment eachother in a very weird way no one else understand but thats ok. obsessed with them holding hands.

idk i just want them to kiss??? go into my #ranmugi tag for a better idea of how i made up perceive their dynamic. yayyyy.

i might come back to say more on them later. but mark my words they need to kiss.

HONORABLE MENTIONS: kaemugi, kirizono, celeschi, oumota, n soudam

ok thanks so much for asking i love talking about the little gay people in my phone ;w; hope you understand me n my ships better i love loving things

[juviaafullbuster]

If u can, can u make a gruvia oneshot just before gray leaves to 100 years quest? And Juvia isnt really happy about it because it felt like when he left her for 6 months

You guys really have a thing for angst, don't you? You're killing me over here. But ask and you shall receive! Hope you like it 💙

Repeating mistakes

The moment he left his place, he knew something was wrong. Not that it was hard to figure out. The rain that was drenching him from head to toe was a pretty good indicator.

Usually it wouldn't bother him much. He wasn't a fan of hot weather anyways. This rain however, this one was different. Because it wasn't the normal kind. No, he was certain this was her rain, produced by feelings that she would describe as gloomy.

Gray hurried to the guild hall. The sooner he got there, the better. It had been a while since she last made it rain like that. The only time he experienced it himself was when they first fought against each other, back when she was still with Phantom. After that, there was only one more time he was aware of. And that was when he had left her to go on an undercover mission, joining a dark guild, without any notice. It had been for her own safety however it turned out hurting her more deeply than the dark guild could have ever done. Gray didn't like to remember that. Not what he had done, not how she had felt. It was something he wasn't very proud of and there was still deep regret. If Natsu hadn't found her in time..

He shook the thought away, focusing on the building in front of him. The rain was falling harder here, dark clouds looming over the guild hall, an indicator that she was inside.

Somehow that worried him more. Everyone else was most likely in there too, so she wasn't alone. What could have happened that would lead her to produce such a rain? And why couldn't anyone else in there do something about it? He took a deep breath before entering the guild hall. Mira was in front of him in an instant, a sympathetic smile on her face, holding out a towel for him.

"You're not the first one to come in drenched. The others are using Natsu as a human heater."

Gray took the towel, not really focusing on what Mira was saying. Instead he found himself glancing around, holding an eye out for a certain blunette. He felt a hard slap on his back, before Cana throw her arm over his shoulders.

"I don't know what you did to the little cutie, but you better fix it fast. I planned to use the pool today so you better hurry up lover boy. She's in the back."

Ignoring the comment as well as the nickname, he looked over to Mira, silently asking if she was actually in there. Not that he didn't trust Cana, but, to noones surprise, the girl was pretty drunk once again, and had pointed in several different directions with the bottle in her hand already. Mira just giggled before pointing to the first door on the left. Shaking Cana off, he made his way over there. He knocked on the door, before holding his ear to it, waiting for any reaction.

"Juvia, are you in here?"

Another knock, yet no reaction. Gray sighed before deciding to just go in. She would have to talk to him, whether she wanted to or not. Although it was hard to imagine her not wanting to talk to him. Boosting his confidence with that, he took a deep breath before opening the door slowly. Luckily it was unlocked. He looked around before spotting her, sitting near the window and looking outside. If she knew he entered, she didn't show.

"Juvia?" He walked up to her, awaiting her reaction. Any moment now she would turn around, smile, call his name or jump him. Or do all of that. At least she usually would.

Instead she just glanced over her shoulder, informing him that she registered his presence, before focusing back on whatever it was she was looking at outside. Maybe this wasn't going to be as easy as Gray had hoped.

"Hey.. can I sit?" He waited a moment before he received a mumbled reply.

"Sure."

At least she was talking now. He plopped down next to her, following her line of sight. Of course she was staring at the rain droplets, following their way down the window with her eyes.

"Want to tell me what this is about? Did something happen?"

"No."

"Then what is it? What's wrong?"

She kept quiet, pulling her knees closer to her body and draping her arms around them.

"Juvia, talk to me."

He heard her sigh before she finally looked at him. There were unshead tears in her eyes, threatening to roll down any moment. She didn't look angry, no, instead the look on her face showed pain. She was clearly hurt. Gray thought back to Canas words. I don't know what you did.. Was that really his doing? What did he do?

Gray tried to remember anything that had happened in the past weeks, anything he did or said that might have hurt her but he couldn't put his mind on anything. He was sure that he had been nice lately, especially to her. Sure, he did avoid her a lot of times but that's only because he had yet to figure out how to act around her. He was just coming clear with his feelings himself. Is it possible she misunderstood his actions for rejection? It would certainly explain the look of hurt.

"Juvia.. did I do something wrong?"

Juvia huffed and suddenly she was glaring at him.

"It's more about what Gray didn't do."

Gray. Just Gray. No Graysama. Wow, he must have really messed up.

"Alright, help me out please.. what is it that I didn't do?"

"You didn't tell Juvia!"

"Tell you what?"

Gray was seriously lost at this point. What was he supposed to tell her? Was she talking about his feelings? He thought she understood that he was getting there. She always seemed so understanding before. Was she out of patience? Gray was afraid she'd reach that point eventually and give up on him.

"You didn't tell Juvia about your new mission. The so called 100 years quest?"

Gray couldn't help the sigh of relief. She wasn't giving up on him after all.

"Oh, that. What about it?"

"I can't believe you."

Juvia scoffed, turning her head away from him. That didn't stop him from seeing how the look of disbelief turned into a look of betrayal.

"Juvia, it's just a mission. What's the big deal?"

"You really don't see the issue?"

There was a moment of silence. Juvia was looking at him now, waiting for his reply. He scratched his neck awkwardly, not sure how to respond to her. What was the issue? It's not like it was unusual for him to go on missions. It was literally their job. Sure, this was a bigger one but it wasn't like he was going alone. Was that it? Did she want to join?

"Is it about me going without you? I didn't think it'd be an issue. I always go along with Natsu and the others. I didn't consider that you'd want to join us so badly. Besides, didn't you already agree to go on a mission with Gajeel?"

"It's not that."

"It's not?"

"No, of course not! Juvia doesn't care that you're going without her. Juvia is fine with you going on missions with others. Juvia is even fine with you going on missions with love rival. Sure, she would prefer it otherwise but she would never make a fuss over that."

"Then what is it you're making a fuss over?"

Juvia glared at him, anger now clearly visible in her eyes. Alright, maybe he could have phrased that differently. But he was seriously getting lost here. And can you blame him? Juvia had switched between several emotions, just in the last five minutes.

"Juvia is hurt because she forgave Graysama once, in the firm believe that it wouldn't happen again. Graysama is going to leave in less than a week and he has yet to tell Juvia about it."

"I was going to tell you, I just-"

"When? Before you got on the train? Juvia had to find out through Natsu, because he was declaring it all proudly, saying that he was going to be the one finishing this quest after all those years. It wasn't until Juvia asked Lucy out of all people, that she learned about the details!"

"I didn't think it was going to be such a big issue."

"Of course you didn't.."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

Juvia was standing now, looking down at him, anger and hurt clearly visible. She didn't seem to want to hide it either. No, it was clear Juvia wanted Gray to know exactly how she was feeling. She was glaring down at him and Gray couldn't help but feel small. He wanted to get up, be able to face her properly, but somehow he was sure that would anger her just more.

"You left Juvia once without notice. Six months. Six months filled with pain, worry, doubt, sadness, anger. Juvia was a mess. Emotionally, mentally, physically, she was in a bad shape in every aspect. But you know that. You know how sick Juvia got. They told you about the fever, the waiting in the rain, the state Natsu and the others found her in. Juvia was so hurt, sad and angry. But also so worried."

At this point there were tears rolling down her cheeks. Gray wanted to hold her, to apologize, to wipe the tears away, but he didn't dare to move. The rain was getting louder, falling harder.

"But Juvia forgave you. Juvia forgave you for leaving her, for not telling her about your whereabouts, for making her worry so much. Juvia forgave you, even without you apologizing. Because Juvia understood. She understood why you did what you did."

She wiped her tears away, taking a moment to regain her posture before taking a deep breath and continuing.

"Juvia forgave you once. She forgave you in the belief that it wouldn't happen again. That Graysama learned from it. But here we are. Watching it all repeat itself. You're leaving on a mission, one that will take longer, a few months at least, and you have yet to tell Juvia. Everyone else was informed, but Juvia had to find out by accident, because she happened to be there when Natsu mentioned it. And why? Because Graysama didn't learn. Graysama didn't understand. Because Graysama didn't bother. Maybe Juvia forgave to fast back then, maybe it's her own fault.."

"Juvia-"

"No, don't. Just-"

A bitter laugh escaped her lips. Something so unusual for her.

"Juvia is a fool. She believed it, that we were making progress. That she just needed to be more patient. But Juvia was wrong. Because no matter what, Juvia will never be as important to Gray as he is to her."

With that she turned around, making her way out of the room and slamming the door behind her. Gray was left sitting on the floor, Juvias words echoing through his head. He had messed up. He had truly messed up and he wasn't sure how and if he was able to fix this. Minutes passed, minutes that felt like hours, but Gray didn't dare to move.

When he finally got up, he could hear the rain still falling, but it was slowing down. An indication that she was getting further away, the more time passed. And Gray was afraid that if he didn't find a way to fix things fast, he wouldn't be able to reach her anymore.

[drvrslcense]

Can’t Take My Eyes off of You (Percabeth)

Masterlist | Twitter | Wattpad

Read this on AO3! 

Word Count: 3k+

Pairings: Percabeth - Percy Jackson x Annabeth Chase

Description: In which Annabeth is tired from Christmas shopping & plays a song.  

Warnings: FLUFF & also unedited work

Shawn Mendes’ cover is amazing! & If you can’t tell, I’m feeling all the feels- so please enjoy this & listen to this song on loop. 

It's December 24 - the air was chilly and buzzing with that electric Christmas cheer. People all over the place were wearing big smiles, while some were scowling because of the tight crowds. Everyone was fighting their way through the crowds - everywhere you look, you'll hear someone mutter, "excuse me". 

Annabeth was normally a strategist, often considering buying Christmas presents beforehand - before all these craziness starts. But with finals on the horizon, Annabeth focused on her studies, forgetting to buy Christmas gifts. Now, she grumbles about procrastinating and forgetting to buy presents as she fights her way through the enormous crowds, her boyfriend Percy behind her. 

Percy was holding Annabeth's hand as the blonde continued to push through the crowd. Sometimes, his head would turn and he'd gaze in wonder to all those Christmas lights around the city, leading Annabeth to tug his hand and get him off his daze. There was no denying that this boy loved Christmas. He loves being with his family, spending time with his friends, and most of all, spending the winter break with his girlfriend. 

Annabeth was still fighting through the crowd, just wanting to get home. She'd already spent the entire chilly day out shopping for gifts, instead of just staying in and watching whatever crappy Christmas movie Percy likes to pick out. She and Percy were carrying shopping bags for presents - Percy did his own shopping too. While Annabeth bought stuff like perfumes for the girls and polo shirts for the boys, Percy bought foods. Dam foods. He bought his friend, Grover, a can fondant cake as a gag gift. Like a literal aluminum can fondant cake. You know those cakes that look like the thing they designed it after? That then turns out to be a cake? Yeah, that. Annabeth didn't know where Percy just find those. She almost berated him for buying those dam snacks and forced him to buy other gifts like a musical instrument for Grover or a box of LEGOs for Tyson, but she understood where he was coming from. And it was sweet, so she let it go, wondering if Percy bought a dozen soft pretzels or a gingerbread house for her. 

As they clamber through the busy streets to their apartment in the middle of this bustling city, Percy could feel both excitement and nervousness on his insides. His intestines felt like it was rising up to his throat and forcing him to throw up the spectacular soft pretzel he and Annabeth ate in the midst of the chaos. He bought something for Annabeth while they were out. He was sure it was pretty, even he thinks that it was forged by Hepahestus himself. He just wasn’t sure what Annabeth’s reaction would be when she sees or when he gives it. He knew that he wanted it to happen, it was just so nerve wracking to do that he avoided it. 

Annabeth sighed happily as they entered their apartment, dropping her bags near the door — in an orderly fashion — before flopping down on the couch. Percy dropped his bags messily on the table before opening the lights on their Christmas tree and flopping down beside Annabeth. The two admired the Christmas lights that danced before them. Their apartment was simple, small, but enough for the couple as they brave adulting. Annabeth was the one who designed the entire apartment. If it was her way, she would have designed their house. But because of high prices, urbanization, you know, the stuff, they couldn’t. Although Percy bets somewhere that Annabeth has a blueprint of her dream house. 

It was a two-bedroom apartment with a minimalist theme. Although it was tiny, it seemed so spacious and elegant, that their visitors (their friends) often teased them about being rich. Upon entering the door, you’d immediately see a view of the buildings outside with their big windows on the side. Their Christmas tree stood beside the windows, its lights flickering various colors of green, blue, and red. It was, by standards, a thin tree. Percy liked his tree big, but given the space of their apartment, it was impossible. So, they settled for that thin, green tree adorned with countless golden and silver colored balls - there was even a snowflake ornament and a golden star perched on top. 

That attention to the windows would be stolen away as eyes would be on their cozy, L-shaped couch, in front of that is their white, pear-shaped coffee table where an architecture book lay on top of. Percy often likes to put his feet on the coffee table, which he just does to annoy Annabeth who likes keeping things and orderly in their house. Their television was mounted on the wall across the couch. On the side of the apartment was their kitchen, it was L-shaped with a dining table in the middle. The dining table seats four persons and has a modern theme. It was round that whenever they have people over, they just add chairs.  

The couple stared off at their window which overlooked half of the city and the flickering of lights on their Christmas tree. The lights danced in a way that was enticing to the both of them and it was the only light in the room. The couple stared in silence, with Percy putting his arm around Annabeth, before she broke it and scrolled on her phone. Percy cuddled Annabeth on the couch before the blonde pushed him away for being heavy. 

Annabeth let out a weird sound - somewhere between a scream and a squeal -  as she saw something on her phone that Percy observed quickly lifted her spirits. 

"What?" Percy bolted upright. "What happened?" 

"This," Annabeth has a big grin on her face as she showed Percy her phone. It was a paused video of a curly-haired boy, sitting in front of the piano. Percy was confused, but he was interested as seeing it made all her exhaustion leave. 

"And what is 'this', exactly?" Percy asked, raising an eyebrow to Annabeth. 

"Just turn on the speakers." 

Sighing, Percy reached behind him and turned on their speakers. Annabeth quickly connected her phone and played something. 

You're just too good to be true 

The first line of the song plays and Percy thought the voice was familiar, he just couldn't remember who. But he knew the song, his mother often played it while he was growing up. All the while, Annabeth has this soft smile on her face and Percy decided it was heaven. He could give her the world and it still wouldn’t be enough. 

"Who is this?" Percy asked. 

"Shawn Mendes," Annabeth sighed dreamily, a big smile appearing on her face - she often reserved the smile for the special people in her life. Percy couldn't help the jealousy that stirred in him, but he shook it off, scolding himself as irrational. Instead, he raised his eyebrows, and a smirk toyed on his face - apparently, Annabeth is a big fan of Shawn Mendes. 

At long last love has arrived 

And I thank God you’re alive

Annabeth closed her eyes, feeling the way Shawn Mendes’ voice just flow to her ears. It wasn’t heaven, but it was pleasurable enough. She feels like floating on Cloud 9, where all her stress disappeared and everything else just melts away and all she could see was Percy’s dazzling sea-green eyes, tousled jet-black hair, and his smile. Damn, that smile. The song wouldn’t be the death of her, his smile would be. She couldn’t deny all these feelings she has for him, even though they’ve been a couple for years now. 

It all started out during high school. It was kind of cliche but Annabeth was glad she met Percy that young. Percy was a big part of her life, growing up as schoolmates despite not being close friends or enemies - he was just always there and Annabeth loved that about the two of them. They were always there for each other. Like that time in Mathlete where Annabeth competed against another school and won, she could see Percy cheering for their school in the crowds. Or when Annabeth rallied against their school overworking their teachers, Percy joined them. Or when Percy was awkwardly standing during Rachel Dare’s birthday bash and Annabeth joined him. That was when they first started talking and it all went from there. 

Funny how they went from strangers in high school to literally a couple living together in the middle of the city. Their journey up to now has been a wild ride, but Annabeth was glad that it ended here - in their apartment, with Percy beside her doing God knows what, but having his presence is a comfort to Annabeth. 

Pardon the way that I stare

There's nothing else to compare

The sight of you leaves me weak

There are no words left to speak

While Annabeth closed her eyes during the song, Percy stared at her. He couldn’t help but admire her. She was pretty, no matter how much she denied it. Her piercing gray eyes were Percy’s favorite physical attribute of Annabeth. But what he admires most is her courage -  she is brave beyond compare, often heading head first into whatever difficulties they face. In fact, she was the one who asked him out. Percy was the one who was about to ask her out that night but Annabeth beat him to it, much to his frustration and his surprise. 

It was during their school prom night, both of them ditched in the middle of it, coming home to Percy’s apartment to have a spontaneous movie marathon. It was in the middle of it and Percy was overthinking about whether or not he should ask her out. He’d liked her for years and had done nothing. They have also been friends of two of these. It was a boring movie when Annabeth abruptly faced him and asked, “Wanna go out to lunch tomorrow?”. Percy was taken aback by that question and just stared at her. Annabeth misunderstood him as him rejecting her. She stood up to grab her things when Percy yelled, “No, wait.” Percy was wearing a nervous, but boyish smile that made Annabeth stop and smile at him. Percy grinned and before they knew it, they were dating and Percy couldn’t help but always notice her gray eyes, which he thinks turns stormy whenever she’s intense. 

Annabeth is captivating and Percy feels very lucky to have her in his life. He feels blessed by the gods to just be with her. Being around her presence made Percy feel whole. She is his best friend, partner, and love of his life. 

Something was weighing down on his pocket and he palmed it, feeling the small box’s sharp edges and velvet skin. Sighing, he set his hands on his palm and paced around thinking that Annabeth was probably too engrossed in the song to hear him pacing around. 

He was going nuts, not knowing what to do with the item. He was sure he wanted to do it during the holidays. But the great Percy Jackson doesn’t have any plans nor any ideas on how to proceed. He wanted to ask his best friend Grover, but Grover is quite chatty and he knew that it would spread within their friend group even before he does it, so no. And the others, well, it’s not that Percy distrusts them, it's just that feeling that he wants to do this by himself if he can’t tell Grover. And there’s also the feeling of pressure if someone knows. 

Of course Mr. Chase knows -- he’s already agreed on this whole thing months ago, when he pulled him aside during Annabeth’s birthday, asking Percy when he’d do it. 

Percy continued to pace around the room when his eyes laid on the bags of presents strewn across the apartment. Instead of just pacing, he decided to put it all under their Christmas tree. 

Annabeth heard the rustling of the paper bags and opened her eyes. “What are you doing, seaweed brain?” 

“Nothing,” Percy answered quickly. Too quickly that his heart sped up. “Just-- moving the bags under the tree.” 

“Oh, okay,” Annabeth answered, shooting him a small smile as he turned his back on her. Annabeth closed her eyes once again listening to the song. Percy released a relieve sigh as he saw Annabeth’s eyes closed. 

Later. 

But if you feel like I feel

Please let me know that it's real

The song ended quickly. Too quickly for Annabeth’s liking. There was just something about Shawn Mendes’ voice that sounded so satisfying that everything weighing her down just melted away. 

She opened her eyes for a bit, setting the song to loop. And then closed it again, melting into her bubble of relaxation. 

Percy was happy that Annabeth’s in that state of bliss. Finals were stressing her out the last few weeks and today’s Christmas shopping just happened to be the cherry on top. 

Finishing up with moving the presents, Percy stood up, a smirk toying on his face as he got an idea. It was random and spontaneous, but Percy thought of it as romantic. The song was romantic and the ambiance set in the room with the Christmas lights and the bustling streets below just makes up a combination for a spontaneous slow dance in the middle of their living room. 

Percy started moving stuff around the room quietly, careful not to make Annabeth open her eyes. He moved the presents around once more, lining them up under the windows to make more room. Then, he moved the coffee table to the side. He wasn’t sure how he'd done it properly, stealth wasn’t one of his abilities. People would always deem him as ‘clumsy’, but he would call it ‘just someone not wanting to do it’. It was his way of denial that he was clumsy. 

Anyways, he let another song pass by. He smiled as he saw his work - the room has more space and everything just looked so perfect in his eyes. He was also proud of himself because he managed to do it all without making Annabeth open her eyes. 

You'd be like heaven to touch

I wanna hold you so much

As Shawn Mendes’ voice in the beginning of the cover filled the room once again, he cleared his throat in front of Annabeth and offered his hand. Annabeth opened her eyes and stared at it. 

“Come on, dance with me,” Percy said, opening his arms, and doing a motion of what looks like a slow dance. Annabeth laughed as she stood up and Percy’s breath was snatched. 

The way she stood up was so graceful, like a princess, that even without the ball gown and sparkling glass shoes, made his jaw drop. His smile widened and he offered his hand once more. Annabeth took his hand and playfully curtsied. The two of them shared a soft laugh before Annabeth placed a hand on his shoulder and he placed a hand on her waist. 

It took a few paces before the two of them were dancing in harmony. But when they did, it was amazing. It was like the whole world fits into his arms. He wasn’t nervous anymore. He was Percy Jackson, Annabeth Chase’s boyfriend. 

Percy swayed Annabeth and she followed along. If anyone could see them, it would be like two rusty robots dancing together. But for them, this is perfect. 

“I love you,” Percy softly said while swaying. 

“Yeah?” Annabeth looked up at him, staring into his dazzling sea-green eyes. 

“Yeah,” Percy kissed her forehead, inhaling the scent of lemons. No matter how sweaty she was the whole day, her hair always manages to smell like lemons. 

“You know,” Annabeth started when they resumed back to their swaying.

“What?” Percy stared at her piercing gray eyes. It was mesmerizing, it was the only thing about her that makes her unique from Princesses. It was also one thing of Annabeth’s that Percy loved, among all of them. 

“I continually thank the gods for leading me to you. You’re a gift to me, Perseus Jackson,” Annabeth said, keeping her eyes trained on his chest. She noticed his outfit today which was a dark blue shirt and black pants which highlighted his height, which was six feet. She was shorter than him, by only a few inches. 

“Hey,” Percy lifted her face up, facing his hand under her chin. “I thank the gods, too.” 

Words can only do so much for the two of them. The two of them knew that it wasn’t just gratitude to the gods, but it was also gratitude and love for everything they’ve been through. It was all those gratitude for moments they spent, even moments they spent apart. It was those things that led them to each other. That ‘thank the gods’ thing were just filled with unspoken words, unspoken feelings that both of them were unsure how to express. It was those fun moments they shared like dates and celebrations. It was also those sad, comforting moments they shared when Annabeth failed her entrance exams. It was also all those fights that led them here in this moment. 

It was everything that made them. Sure, words won’t ever be enough, and they both aren’t sure if actions will be too. But for now, it is enough. 

“I love you,” it was Annabeth’s turn to say the three words. She tiptoed and kissed Percy’s cheek before they swayed again. 

Even after hearing those three words from Annabeth countless times before, Percy was sure he would explode every time. He couldn't believe that he’s here with Annabeth. Gods, he was completely smitten with her. It was an overwhelming feeling -- being loved -- that Percy thought he would explode. His love for Annabeth was also overflowing, he imagines it as something like the ocean - vast and immeasurable. 

Before the high note starts, Percy starts swaying Annabethas if they’re waltzing. And as the high note hits, Percy spun Annabeth around in which she turned all over the space in their living room. 

I love you, baby

And if it's quite alright I need you, baby

Percy was sure he was watching it in slow motion as Annabeth spun around, her ponytail flowing behind her. She was captivating, percy was so sure of it as he stared at her. It took everything in him to just stay in the moment and not let his mind wander off. 

The rest of the world falls away as the sight of her leaves him weak. Percy noticed the way Annabeth’s foot crossed as she spun, a careless smile on her face. He could see her eyes twinkling as she spun. 

Her hair hits Annabeth square in her face, making her stop. She stopped beside the Christmas tree and Percy could see just how bright she radiates beside their Christmas lights. 

Percy looked at her and the two of them shared a laugh and a big smile. 

“Come here,” Percy motioned her to spin back to him. 

This is now or never, Percy thought. 

To warm a lonely night, I love you, baby

Trust in me when I say

Annabeth was sure she was shining brightly, big bursts of happiness was radiating off of her, as Percy motioned her to spin back to him. 

At first, she felt ridiculous, just spinning round and round. But she let that feeling go as bliss took over when she realized she was sharing this moment with Percy. What was supposed to be a moment of relaxation after a long day of buying Christmas presents, turned out to be very joyous when Percy asked her to dance with him. 

It was perfect. This moment. 

If Annabeth could freeze a moment in time, this would be it - with the two of them dancing around their apartment to Shawn Mendes’ voice and just that moment of joy before Christmas. 

Stopping, Annabeth stumbled. Turning around a few times made her dizzy that Percy had to steady her before kneeling down. 

But when he did, Annabeth took a step backwards and her hands flew to her mouth where a gasp escaped.

“Is this happening?” Annabeth breathed out through her rapidly beating heart. 

“Yeah,” Percy said, opening up the small, orange, velvet box. It revealed a ring with a simple square diamond on top. It was perfect and Annabeth’s eyes watered as she saw the sparkling ring and the look on Percy’s eyes.

Percy chuckled nervously before starting his speech. “Annabeth Chase, when I first saw you, I was captivated. You were enchanting and perfect. But of course, me being me, let that go, knowing I was never up to your standards. But then that night at Rachel's party when you talked to me, I felt like I had a chance. And thus, blossomed a friendship, wise girl, that would lead to this. Gods, I’m so blessed to have you, wise girl. You are my best friend, my partner, and unmistakably the love of my life. So, Wise Girl, would you do me the honor of being your husband and marry me?”

Annabeth’s eyes were welling up in tears and she released a small laugh, “Never knew you could stomach that, Seaweed Brain.” 

Percy chuckled nervously as Annabeth grinned at him through her blurry sight. 

“But yes, seaweed brain, I’ll marry you,” Annabeth finally said, making Percy release a relieved laugh and throw his hands up. 

Percy was about to stand up when he remembered the ring still not being in Annabeth’s hand. “Oh right,” he said, grabbing the ring out of the box and placing it on Annabeth’s left ring finger.

It fits perfectly, Annabeth thought as she gazed in wonder at her ring. 

“It’s perfect,” Annabeth told Percy when he stood up beside her, placing his hands on her waist. 

“You’re perfect,” Percy told Annabeth, kissing her forehead. 

The blonde faced her fiance, and placed her hands around his neck before pulling him into a kiss. 

“I love you,” she said before pulling him again for a kiss, placing her left hand on his cheek. Percy smiled as he felt the cold metal of the ring on his cheek. 

Now that I found you, stay

And let me love you, baby

Let me love you

[lepertamar]

PART 1 of 4(?): LUCIFER ON THEURGY AND HOLIES, NARRATIVE STRUCTURE THERE. 

Bullet pointed thing not separating out good and bad stuff because most of the bad stuff is just like, failures to follow through on good stuff? Or weird arm-twists when the good stuff starts implying things a little too numinous and rebellious to the worldbuilding order and gets forcibly reined in?

Incapable of organizing my thoughts properly even though I tried so I’m just going to post all my thoughts and semi-arbitrarily break them apart into sections, I’ll probably come back to add links to the other parts later:

(I broke this in half lol becuz is was seriously too long but anyway part 2 which is more holies stuff is here)

Bullet 1. Fuck, theurgy is so good.  Like the concept, the entire idea of it. Just fuck that is so good. *Much better explanation of wtf it is in this meta post.* 

But it’s especially good as like a gateway to interactions or concepts too complex or liminal or interactive or emergent to be captured in anything like ‘a normal physical object’ — and it makes for a really really great process from the point of view of the characters doing it (or in Tamar’s and Eliya’s cases, interacting with someone else’s for the first time.) 

The hint comes percolating through, slowly, inexplicitly, (or maybe it’s just because I read that meta post I linked first? I’m not 100% sure) — the whole world is made by this. Infinite recursion of souls. 

1.a Yet it’s........actually pretty shallow simply from explanation of what it is, almost new-age-y vibes that really do it a disservice, and even more an underwhelming disservice when characters are being told how to do it. This is abrahamic fantasy! No embodied and tangible rituals? No songs and chants, no mysterious properties of specific things, which would have an extra layer of meaning because all things are souls? Eliya comes up with, in total (but forcibly unacknowledged) defiance of Lucifer, spoken-word ritual type things towards the end that DO help her, powerfully so. But so much of the book’s discussion of it seems almost designed to make it sound....lame. Thank G-d for Yenatru’s early-on pov of doing his own theurgy or I would have disliked it a lot, and thanks even more to that meta post I linked. 

1.b It’s just…..weird and a bit of an um, self-own, that learning about theurgy was done through the characters literally just fucking…..being taught to about theurgy. As if this was a non-fiction book! Instead of a fiction book, a fantasy one no less, where information-communication is inherently always done differently. Why not have Eliya learn theurgy by subjecting her to various theurgies, manifestations of various people, sending her on a hunt for manifestations and making her have to try to figure them out or understand what this meant until finally she understands enough to ask questions? Why not have various elaborate rituals for theurgy?

BULLET 2. Lucifer is…………!!!$$%%???&&**???>. I loathed Lucifer as a constructed character, an execution of a part of a full narrative story. Absolutely hated them. Could not stop thinking about how much I hated them, how bad it was, all the ways the execution of them completely fails and takes out huge amounts of the overall book — character arcs, concepts, worldbuilding, resonant emotions — with them in the blast radius of the author utter failure at executing them. 

And yet, Lucifer’s CONCEPT is………..amazing, their BACKSTORY is phenomenal. Absolutely incredibly original and drop-dead clever and woven into the worldbuilding in a way where dozens of tiny details about them, about theurgy, about G-d, about angels, etc, all line up to collide and open in the reveal *perfectly*. On the other hand, they are absolutely loathsome as a person. But this isn’t the problem. In fact it’s awesome. It’s not a problem on the front hand of it, at all, that they are so so so awful, as a person. It fits. This is what trauma does. Tells a truth, but then that truth metastasizes into a demanding cancer covering the world. 

2.a (In this book, Lucifer’s (incredibly sympathetic) fall is very, very far from either the traditionalist folk depiction (ewwww rebellion against the wise and good laws of Heaven) OR the now-ubiquitous folk resistant reading (oooooh rebellion against the unjust and oppressive laws of heaven!) Their rebellion is instead basically a rejection of The Way Angels Are Naturally Existing, which is entangled with G-d’s soul in a lawless chaotic orgasmic orgy of unchecked creation that has the pitiless one-way un-budging This Is What Is simple Being-ness of nature and the universe. And it makes so so much sense, that in the intensity of traumatized backlash to this, Lucifer is not simply wise in the ways of ethical demands for justice from G-d and the world the way (I think) Lilith is, but is instead cruelly, reductionistly, circumscribingly dogmatic. They are many other bad things — projecting, saneist, insincere, avoidant, glib, safety-fetishizing, lacking in the tiniest budge of character development, but all these mostly go back to being dogmatic.)

None of which, again, I emphasize again, is anything except BRILLIANT and perfect from a characterization perspective. All of these things fit their character conception and trauma backstory perfectly. The issue is really that not a single one of these things are unearthed or bounced off of as the bad things they are. By which I REALLY don’t mean ‘ugh why didn’t any of the characters explicitly Call Them Out [tell not show] for how awful they are while they’re just minding their own business being awful [shown not told] as a character in this story’. I hate that kind of thing. I mean simply….the other characters’ personalities, natural reactions, and in fact the entire world around Lucifer, warps wildly in order for their creepy narrowing way of steamrollering and falsely-restating-using-‘it’s just my issue’ to be enshrined and stated [telling not showing] as Correct and somehow The Way and The Truth, the Reason Yenatru is happy now, the Reason Eliya succeeded at theurgy. When there’s not a single way this actually tracks.

2.b Why does Yenatru care about this person when everything they say would be horribly devastatingly harmful to Yenatru if its content was aimed at a slightly different category of people, but happens to not be harmful to him simply because this person happens to understand him specifically? Not the tiniest bit of supporting evidence why. There’s a tiny moment, where Lucifer challenges Yenatru to challenge them, in a way where I would almost claim that Lucifer was hoping Yenatru would challenge them and argue back against them, and continue to argue against them throughout the book because Yenatru is one of the few people who could do this without deeply triggering Lucifer’s trauma. But it never ever happens.  It’s also not acknowledged but sadly refused along with their friendship later on, as it also could have been. It’s devastatingly disappointing and brought my liking of Yenatru, which was so so promising and deep because he in many scenes and aspects is written so well, down many notches. 

2.c Why does Eliya successfully uncritically learn anything from them? Why does she [telling not showing] credit Lucifer with anything she learned, when she very very clearly [showing not telling] actually learned everything about herself and about theurgy’s weight and truth from Yenatru and from Tamar? It shatters the imagination to think that any of what Lucifer told her would not be grade-schooler basic knowledge for a lifelong resident of this non-portal-fantasy world, unless theurgy was a Secret Misunderstood Forgotten Art (which it very explicitly and clearly is not). I could see the information Lucifer gave her as perhaps so basic that it could easily fade into the background as not really Meaning anything or being graspable — which is exactly where Yenatru and Tamar, as an unusually gifted and deeply expressive theurgist, and an unusually extreme soul-appreciator and lover, respectively, come in!!!!

2.d And also it could have been where Lucifer’s rigid, trauma-calcified, dogma could have very expressively and poignantly come in too, as something that purports to be about How Souls Are and is illuminating by dint of how hyper-specific and inapplicable to most other people it is, how it’s actually not what souls are, but is very much what a traumatizing but successful struggle to Not Be Steamrollered Into Something You’re Not is. This would have been intensely sympathetic even. And speaking of, here’s the thing: I would have liked Lucifer a thousand times better if they [as a person] had been openly *worse.* If they were outspoken and explicit about their horrible ideas, and if the book [as a narrative] had let them be a mess incapable of intentionally teaching anyone functionally (and therefore much more poignant and illuminating-of-theurgy just by existing as an example of a person, an example that changed the world). Instead of them smoothly tucking their prescriptive ideas into the stretches between other unrelated scenes of ‘oh this is just my issue, these are my own weird biases’. They would be far better if they weren’t being twisted into having the narrative state [tell not show] like they were right about everything.

Bullet 3 It’s this — that’s what I mean. Insincere and politely erasing nonviolent-communication (a specific thing I have encountered a hundred time, more damagingly than any blatant articulated disgust and hatred I have ever encountered) -- with repeated statements  of ‘no it’s okay to be you :)’ ‘i don’t think you’re immoral :)’ ‘everyone is different :)’ despite everything they say belying this. Which when placed alongside everything Lucifer says when not being confronted, does not ever function as a genuine ‘don’t listen to my biases’, but instead functions as a way to avoid actually stating (and therefore baring up to an argument) any of the erasing assumptions underlying their authoritative explanations of other things, so that those assumptions sneak through undetected when they would be interrogated and valuable if they were stated. 

3.a. For example, if Lucifer’s [obvious to me, but probably not obvious to anyone else who hasn’t been personally subjected to a lifetime of this language] revulsion for the Holies and Tamar was openly stated and if they tried to actually argue they were right to be revolted…..I would have loved them! Even if they are arguing Tamar (and indirectly, I too) was a disgusting thing — a ‘leper-soul’ (to quote this fanfic), mad and lost and ruined and degenerate (to quote *this canon book quote*)—I would have loved them! I have nothing but delighted love for people whose clawing desperate insistence on not being what they were raised and created to be, no matter how hateful that makes them towards my loves and experiences.

If Lucifer had said and stuck by this until proven wrong by the narrative [show not tell, or even tell or not show!], instead of simply going ‘oh don’t worry, I don’t think you’re bad :) I don’t think it’s harmful :) it’s just my issue :)’ whenever speaking about Holies, it would have been GOOD and I would have REALLY respected them. Even while everything they’ve actually said about their opinion of souls in other contexts is such that it fundamentally precludes and rejects, as sick and as nothingness and deluded and incapable of being real, the entire concept and lived real existence of Holies (Tamar: I saw them, I am someone who’s done that) — but then Lucifer being actively explicitly validated [again, i mean ‘gets validated’ as in the book states this, with a positive-presence, tell not show wording, while also refusing to admit anyone else influencing Eliya as much or more. i do NOT mean ‘waaahh it’s Obviously Validated becuz Lucifer doesn’t get explicitly called out’ or whatever]. 

In fact, this specific struggle, between what they state to be True, and what Tamar’s very existence declares to be a truth, would have echoed the struggle of their backstory, and conveyed the message of this book more powerfully, more clearly, more sincerely. But seeing Lucifer instead warp a way into an actively (tell not show) defined enlightened master position in the book’s narrative structure made me shake a bit, not going to lie.

Continued uhhhhhhh soon, links to other parts (continually updated) under the cut:

2

[revolutionarygirlkaasy]

The true significance of the “cute” scene

The following is a spoiler-filled analysis of the “cute” scene in Fruits Basket episode 6 and why it should be read differently on a second watch/read. New fans should hold off on reading this post until later!

So in this scene, Yuki is wearing a dress at the school’s cultural festival at the request of his upperclassmen. He’s embarrassed to be wearing it, but after Tohru assures him that everyone calling him cute is a mark of love, Yuki tells Tohru she’s cute too. This appears to be a romantic scene, but I’m here to explain how and why the audience is being misdirected.

For context, let’s review what’s going on in Yuki’s headspace at this point in the series (which he himself doesn’t yet understand). First, because Yuki has been deprived of affection for most of his life, we know that Yuki often plays the role of prince so he’ll be adored by others. This strategy works to a degree, but he hates how fake it feels and the way people only seem to care about or understand him superficially. Then once Tohru comes into the picture, Yuki comes to love her so strongly that he mistakenly believes his feelings are romantic--all because his emotional needs are finally being met.

Yuki struggles with the truth of the matter for a long time, turning much of his character arc into about learning that healthy love is born from mutual support and understanding, not siphoning good feelings off of others. Yuki also eventually learns the importance of authenticity, and that refusing to express your real self due to fear of rejection or abuse won’t make you happy. The reality is that love, even self-love, cannot be gained without first having the courage to be known.

So let’s get back to the actual scene I wanted to discuss. What happens in episode 6 is that Yuki’s role self as the obliging prince has forced his authentic self into a position of feeling humiliated and unheard--not at all what he's been looking for. Tohru feels guilty about her own feelings on the situation, so she tries to make things better by invoking the memory of her mother. Tohru says that it always made her happy that her mother would call her cute because it meant she loved her.

But Tohru’s mother-daughter story doesn’t really apply here, which she realizes once she’s finished. She apologizes for not being helpful, but Yuki says he feels better about the situation now anyway. How come?

The first reason, of course, is that Tohru cared enough to try (and that’s a sign of love in of itself). More importantly though, Yuki feels better because Tohru just told him he’s cute while explicitly connecting the idea to love.

What happens next in this scene is really genius, because it immediately demonstrates the truth of Yuki and Tohru’s relationship while being completely misunderstood by all involved (including the audience): Yuki asks Tohru to help him with his hair and clothes, because in his subconscious mind, Tohru is already serving filling in as a substitute for motherly love.

Tohru obliges Yuki without hesitation, and it’s important to note this has nothing to do with romance on her part either -- a motherly role suits Tohru, and you could say this is her own way of feeling loved and needed by others. Next, Tohru tells Yuki the dress looks hard to put on (yet again providing empathy and comfort), and then they have the follow exchange:

Yuki: I think it would look good on you, Honda-san.

Tohru: It wouldn’t at all. But I do wish it would -- it’s like a princess dress.

Yuki: You’d be cute. [Beat.] I know you’d look cuter than I do. Much cuter.

Just from looking at their expressions, you can tell that Yuki meant to be flirtatious and that Tohru understood his intentions. However, let’s review the facts one more time:

A) Yuki is misinterpreting his feelings for Tohru at this point in the story, and

B) Yuki’s prince gambit was what created this scenario in the first place, which has finally provided him with a real sense of being loved.

Here’s where I’m going with this: Yuki is now convinced his prince gambit works, and his key to happiness is using it on Tohru. He even implicitly equates Tohru to a princess in these lines -- perhaps his princess -- because he wants to return the favor of making Tohru feel loved and special, and this is his script on how to do that. It will continue to be his script, in fact, until the summer vacation arc.

Tohru’s delayed response is interesting because while she looks like she could be falling in love here, this is actually because of the misleading visual language being used (the blushing, the sparkles, etc). Note that Tohru tells us directly that the only things she’s feeling right now are shocked, touched, and confused -- she grasps Yuki’s affection for her, but there’s no hint of desire in her reaction. She doesn’t say “I love Sohma-kun too!” or anything like that, and in fact she changes her mind about Yuki being cute in the first place.

Tohru: That’s right, more than being “cute or “beautiful” ... Sohma-kun is “cool.”

In other words, Yuki’s words are smooth, but that’s all they are. This is why it’s so important for him to learn that being a prince (and literally or metaphorically donning a costume) isn’t his ticket to happiness, and that authenticity is required to experience the kind of love he’s after.

This scene is so great for messing with your expectations, especially when the audience at this point probably thinks Yuki and Tohru end up together, because doesn’t the princely character always win? But that’s not true in Fruits Basket -- Yuki and Tohru continue to feel platonic affection for each other but fall in love with people who they feel comfortable being themselves around. That’s the way it should be.

(Fittingly, Kyo ends up in the role of Prince Charming for the next year’s Cultural Festival but does a miserable job at it because he struggles to be anyone but himself. Yuki, meanwhile, plays the Fairy Godmother, which I find suggestive of his role as mediator while Kyo and Tohru’s romance develops.)

[engelhexe]

Discernment: About navigating through spiritual minefields

by Taygeta, seelenliebe.wordpress.com

June 30, 2015 01:07

By Christina Lavers, guest writer for Wake Up World; translated by Taygeta

There is so much spiritual information of varying quality floating around that it is a huge challenge, especially for people who are just beginning to wake up and connect with the spiritual aspects of life, to distinguish the real pearls from the trash.

So I decided to put together some tips with information on this subject that I found along my spiritual journey. I am sharing it here in the hope of being able to help others to move safely through the spiritual minefield ’on their way.

Of course, there are many great teachers and teachings out there ... but finding them is a matter of discernment.

'Advocate of Light'

These are representatives who propagate the focus on light and love. Your words of love sound true and make us feel warm and vague. Your messages are full of hope and positivity. They encourage the seeker to strive to become light and love and also to reject negativity. However, these teachings spread a castrated version of spirituality. Your exercises give the seeker a sense of wellbeing and the feeling of participating in something profound without causing a true, deep transformation.

The problem with this is that while these teachers say a lot that is true, they hide half of the picture. Balance is crucial for healthy mental development. While it's great to celebrate the beautiful and light aspects of being, it's also important to explore and integrate the dark aspects of yourself. If the darkness is ignored or repelled, then these aspects remain unresolved and continue to burden us on an unconscious level. Only through the integration of our own darkness can we become truly realized beings who are reflections of the whole.

,You are special'

There is no doubt that we are all very special, each person in his or her own individual, unique way, and being aware of this with all the negative programming in our world is an essential step on our way. However, there are different ways that this awareness can develop. If information is of such a nature that the emphasis on our individuality feeds our ego, then it can be problematic. Some of the teachings offered to us give the seeker the feeling of belonging to a special, spiritual elite club: "You are the brave, the brave, the special ...". This information addresses the wounded, misunderstood aspect of personality. When that aspect feels 'seen' and celebrated, then it gets inflated a little ... and it feels good.

Instead of feeling like a strange outsider, we begin to see ourselves as the chosen one; we no longer perceive ourselves as strange, but as extraordinary. However, this "bloating" is not real growth. Such information could lead to the fact that by distancing ourselves from the feeling of inferiority we immediately switch to a feeling of superiority, that is, we only move to the other side of the same coin.

True healing and humility occurs when both sides are recognized and integrated. By agreeing to both our strengths and weaknesses, we can operate from a solid foundation of integrity and authenticity.

'The arrogant teacher'

This is a person who makes the seeker feel that spiritual wisdom is only available to the few who have the ability to grasp the concepts supported by the appropriate leader-person. The spirituality they promote is tangled and has an elitist taste. These people are masters at defending their position - not because they are right, but because they have mastered the art of manipulating information to serve their own benefit. Often times, these types of teachers use their knowledge to stand above their followers by trying to make them feel inadequate. As we struggle with our own values, we may be inclined to believe that these teachers know the secret we need, and that strict adherence to their teachings will eventually reveal it to us.

In reality, spirituality is very simple and accessible to everyone: the answers lie within all of us. An important aspect of the spiritual journey is the process of realizing where and to whom we have given our power and how we can regain our own authority. One of the basic qualities of a spiritually advanced person is to have a highly developed capacity for empathy and compassion. This does not mean that you have to slip into a "victim role" or try to save everyone. Rather, they realize that everyone is divine and able to find their own path, but that they also understand the difficulties of the journey and let their hearts be touched by the plight of others. The more developed they are, the more they feel their deep connection to everyone and everything.

,The hero'

This is someone who presents themselves as perfect and infallible. These people tend to have a strong focus on self-promotion and enjoy the limelight. They love to showcase their amazing qualities and skills. If these people make mistakes, it is not theirs; they try to shift the blame or stories ’’ to explain away ’the mistake.

In general, these people are not worth listening to because they speak and act from an ego perspective. The ego loves to stand on a pedestal, in the center of attention, and hates it when weaknesses come to light. The problem is that the information that comes from such people is usually presented in a way that fades the truth into the background in favor of promoting and sustaining a heroic role for the person.

Our society teaches us to hide our vulnerabilities. But the ability to be vulnerable is one of the most difficult and important qualities a seeker must develop. Being able to show oneself vulnerable is a crucial key to being authentic. If you cannot show yourself to be vulnerable where necessary, then it may be necessary to manipulate the truth to prevent any cracks from showing up. Those who cannot show themselves to be vulnerable cannot remain honest and authentic all the time.

'The Messianic Guru'

This is one of the most dangerous teachers and is probably more common than one might think. There is a point on the path of spiritual development where the seeker becomes aware of his godliness and the fact that the whole universe revolves around him. When he integrates this deep truth holistically, the seeker understands that everything is only a question of perspective, and rejoices in the deep beauty and magic of the fact that we are all expressions of the divine and thus also have the ability to reach that deeper point touch where we all meet. We are literally the center of the universe each seen from our own unique perspective.

The messianic guru has realized his / her divinity, but not yet from a perspective that shows the whole picture. This person believes that they are “One” and that they have a “special” relationship with God / the universe. Sometimes this is blatantly expressed in their teaching, in other cases it can be much more discreet. However, even if such a person keeps his own belief to himself, there is usually enough evidence that can be recognized by a discerning observer.

Because the distorted convictions of the “teachers” often only show themselves subtly in the subliminal agenda, there is a risk that the seeker receives little support in discovering his own divinity.

Speaker with the message "You are coming soon to save us ..."

This is someone who claims to "speak in the name of ..." or to be the conduit for a "higher being" who will come to save us. I have found a lot of excellent material in channelings that claim to come from non-human entities. But there is also a mountain of seedy material. A common characteristic of shady information is that it appeals to the victim mentality. “You poor being, your life has been so difficult; there are such terrible beings who are so powerful that you have no chance of escaping their grip ... but don't worry, we are coming to save you ... soon. Very soon we will bend down to you and put everything in order so that you will soon be living in a new paradise. Keep reading our messages ... keep believing us and trust in US, we assure you salvation «just around the corner». "

This type of material is dangerous because it in some way surrounds the seeker with a false hope and does nothing to encourage his self-exploration and inner growth. It supports a feeling of helplessness in the seeker, supports the victim mentality and induces the seeker to hand over his power to an external force. The focus on a 'soon' means that the seeker focuses on the future and not on the now, where our real strength lies.

'The representatives of tribulation and gloom'

These are teachers who appeal to the 'inner violence' junkies. These guys are the ones who are shouting one gloomy forecast after another on the net all the time. This type of information is often called "fear-porn" because it is a bit like watching a horror movie. It's dangerous and exciting, can be addicting, and most importantly, it's scary. Too much immersion in this information can make us 'race for the hills' (which doesn't have to be bad in itself), can make us want to learn a martial art (which doesn't need to be a bad thing either), and can make us want our neighbors Let them be viewed with suspicion (which is probably not a good thing).

Fear is the great inhibitor of spiritual development. The more fear we have, the more we close ourselves to growth and change. If we focus too much on the fearful aspects of life we ​​become tense and unbalanced and we may forget to nourish the beautiful, magical areas of our lives. The more energy we allow fear, the greater its presence in our reality, the more the beauty in our life shrinks. The seeker can be left with an overwhelming sense of disillusionment and hopelessness. One of the reasons this path is so crippling is that there are many fear-inducing situations that are beyond our control, that there is little we can do to change the circumstances that are emerging on the global stage.

When we learn to acknowledge the reality that is going on in our midst and make the conscious decision to shift our focus away from fear to what we can positively influence, then we enable real transformation that benefits the whole. While the size of the individual's sphere of influence varies, we all have access to one of the strongest leverage points for change - ourselves. Because we are all connected, healing ourselves has a powerful impact on the collective unconscious, and the more light we get bring into this long-neglected arena, the more light we will see reflected in our external reality.

We all have the opportunity to positively influence our surroundings through ourselves. Be it a plant, our family or our community, there is much around us that we can nurture with love and influence with our own unique talents.

'My way is an expressway'

These are the teachers who believe that they have found "the true way" or it has been shown to them. These teachers try to convince the seeker that they, and they alone, hold the key to their salvation. The teachings of these people are often valued because if their path is the right path then everyone else must be wrong.

In order to follow such a teacher the seeker is often forced to sacrifice something. The first thing is usually some money for a book or a workshop in which a ’part’ of the mystery of the ’true path’ is revealed. The second and unsettling thing that the seeker must sacrifice is the power of direction.

Usually it is the wounded aspect of a seeker that is attracted to this type of teacher. It is the aspect of not having enough confidence in one's own ability to find one's own path. But this is one of the most important aspects of the spiritual journey: discovering and celebrating our own uniqueness and allowing others to do the same.

The further the seeker progresses on the path, the more he is able to shake off the false, socially constructed aspects of his personality and connect with his true, unique inner self.

There is no right or wrong on the spiritual path. Different people learn different things in different ways at different times. What works well for one person may not work for another.

The key points to remember:

Anything that requires us to read a certain book, listen to certain music, or sign a certain philosophy should probably be discarded. Of course there are great things ‘out there’ that help us on our way ... but even if certain things can help us, there is still no must ’on the spiritual path.

Anything that tells us that the answer is outside of ourselves has to raise a huge red flag!

Anything that leaves us with a strong sense of despair is probably best avoided.

Anything that just makes us feel good without encouraging in-depth work is probably a waste of time.

Anything that promotes the idolization of a leader is potentially dangerous for development.

By Christina Lavers, guest writer for Wake Up World; translated by Taygeta

There is so much spiritual information of varying quality floating around that it is a huge challenge, especially for people who are just beginning to wake up and connect with the spiritual aspects of life, to distinguish the real pearls from the trash.

So I decided to put together some tips with information on this topic that I found along my spiritual journey. I am sharing it here in the hope of being able to help others to move safely through the spiritual minefield ’on their way.

Of course there are many great teachers and teachings out there ... but finding them is a matter of discernment.

'Advocate of Light'

These are representatives who propagate the focus on light and love. Your words of love sound true and make us feel warm and vague. Your messages are full of hope and positivity. They encourage the seeker to strive to become light and love and also to reject negativity. However, these teachings spread a castrated version of spirituality. Your exercises give the seeker a sense of wellbeing and the feeling of participating in something profound without causing a true, deep transformation.

The problem with this is that while these teachers say a lot that is true, they block out half of the picture. Balance is crucial for healthy mental development. While it's great to celebrate the beautiful and light aspects of being, it's also important to explore and integrate the dark aspects of yourself. If the darkness is ignored or repelled, then these aspects remain unresolved and continue to burden us on an unconscious level. Only through the integration of our own darkness can we become truly realized beings who are reflections of the whole.

,You are special'

There is no doubt that we are all very special, each person in his or her own individual, unique way, and to be aware of this with all the negative programming in our world is an essential step on our way. However, there are different ways that this awareness can develop. If information is of such a nature that the emphasis on our individuality feeds our ego, then it can be problematic. Some of the teachings offered to us give the seeker the feeling of belonging to a special, spiritual elite club: "You are the brave, the brave, the special ...". This information addresses the wounded, misunderstood aspect of personality. When that aspect feels 'seen' and celebrated, then it gets inflated a little ... and it feels good.

Instead of feeling like a strange outsider, we begin to see ourselves as chosen ones; we no longer perceive ourselves as strange, but as extraordinary. However, this "bloating" is not real growth. Such information could lead to the fact that by distancing ourselves from the feeling of inferiority we immediately switch to a feeling of superiority, that is, we only move to the other side of the same coin.

True healing and humility occurs when both sides are recognized and integrated. By agreeing to both our strengths and weaknesses, we can operate from a solid foundation of integrity and authenticity.

'The arrogant teacher'

This is a person who makes the seeker feel that spiritual wisdom is only available to the few who have the ability to grasp the concepts supported by the appropriate leader-person. The spirituality they promote is muddled and has an elitist taste. These people are masters at defending their position - not because they are right, but because they have mastered the art of manipulating information to serve their own benefit. Often times, these types of teachers use their knowledge to stand above their followers by trying to make them feel inadequate. As we struggle with our own values, we may be inclined to believe that these teachers know the secret we need, and that strict adherence to their teachings will eventually reveal it to us.

In reality, spirituality is very simple and accessible to everyone: the answers lie within us all. An important aspect of the spiritual journey is the process of realizing where and to whom we have given our power and how we can regain our own authority. One of the basic qualities of a spiritually advanced person is to have a highly developed capacity for empathy and compassion. This does not mean that you have to slip into a "victim role" or try to save everyone. Rather, they realize that everyone is divine and able to find their own path, but that they also understand the difficulties of the journey and let their hearts be touched by the plight of others. The more developed they are, the more they feel their deep connection to everyone and everything.

,The hero'

This is someone who presents themselves as perfect and infallible. These people tend to have a strong focus on self-promotion and enjoy the limelight. They love to showcase their amazing qualities and skills. If these people make mistakes, it is not theirs; they try to shift the blame or stories ’’ to explain away ’the mistake.

In general, these people are not worth listening to because they speak and act from an ego perspective. The ego loves to stand on a pedestal, in the center of attention, and hates it when weaknesses come to light. The problem is that the information that comes from such persons is usually presented in such a way that the truth takes a backseat in favor of promoting and sustaining a heroic role of the person.

Our society teaches us to hide our vulnerabilities. But the ability to be vulnerable is one of the most difficult and important qualities a seeker must develop. Being able to show oneself vulnerable is a crucial key to being authentic. If you cannot show yourself to be vulnerable where necessary, then it may be necessary to manipulate the truth to prevent any cracks from showing up. Those who cannot show themselves to be vulnerable cannot remain honest and authentic all the time.

'The Messianic Guru'

This is one of the most dangerous teachers and is probably more common than one might think. There is a point on the path of spiritual development where the seeker becomes aware of his godliness and the fact that the whole universe revolves around him. When he integrates this deep truth holistically, the seeker understands that everything is only a question of perspective, and rejoices in the deep beauty and magic of the fact that we are all expressions of the divine and thus also have the ability to reach that deeper point touch where we all meet. We are literally the center of the universe each seen from our own unique perspective.

The messianic guru has recognized his / her divinity, but not yet from a perspective that shows the whole picture. This person believes that they are “One” and that they have a “special” relationship with God / the universe. Sometimes this is blatantly expressed in their teaching, in other cases it can be much more discreet. However, even if such a person keeps his own belief to himself, there is usually enough evidence that can be recognized by a discerning observer.

Because the distorted convictions of the “teachers” often only show themselves subtly in the subliminal agenda, there is a risk that the seeker receives little support in discovering his own divinity.

Speaker with the message "You are coming soon to save us ..."

This is someone who claims to "speak in the name of ..." or to be the conduit for a "higher being" who will come to save us. I have found a lot of excellent material in channelings that claim to come from non-human entities. But there is also a mountain of seedy material. A common characteristic of shady information is that it appeals to the victim mentality. “You poor being, your life has been so difficult; there are such terrible beings who are so powerful that you have no chance of escaping their grip ... but don't worry, we are coming to save you ... soon. Very soon we will bend down to you and put everything in order so that you will soon be living in a new paradise. Keep reading our messages… keep believing us and trust in US, we assure you salvation «just around the corner». "

This type of material is dangerous because it in some way surrounds the seeker with a false hope and does nothing to encourage self-exploration and inner growth. It supports a feeling of helplessness in the seeker, supports the victim mentality and induces the seeker to hand over his power to an external force. The focus on a 'soon' has the consequence that the seeker concentrates on the future and not on the now, where our real strength lies.

'The representatives of tribulation and gloom'

These are teachers who appeal to the 'inner violence' junkies. These guys are the ones who are shouting one gloomy forecast after another on the net all the time. This type of information is often called "fear-porn" because it is a bit like watching a horror movie. It's dangerous and exciting, can be addicting, and most importantly, it's scary. Too much immersion in this information can make us 'race for the hills' (which doesn't have to be bad in itself), can make us want to learn a martial art (which doesn't need to be a bad thing either), and can make us want our neighbors Let them be viewed with suspicion (which is probably not a good thing).

Fear is the great inhibitor of spiritual development. The more fear we have, the more we close ourselves to growth and change. If we focus too much on the fearful aspects of life we ​​become tense and unbalanced, and we may forget to nourish the beautiful, magical areas of our lives. The more energy we allow fear, the greater its presence in our reality, the more the beauty in our life shrinks. The seeker can be left with an overwhelming sense of disillusionment and hopelessness. One of the reasons this path is so debilitating is that there are many fear-inducing situations that are beyond our control, that there is little we can do to change the circumstances that are emerging on the global stage.

When we learn to acknowledge the reality that is going on in our midst and make the conscious decision to shift our focus away from fear to what we can positively influence, then we enable real transformation that benefits the whole. While the size of the individual's sphere of influence varies, we all have access to one of the strongest leverage points of change - ourselves. Because we are all connected, healing ourselves has a powerful impact on the collective unconscious, and the more light we get bring into this long-neglected arena, the more light we will see reflected in our external reality.

We all have the opportunity to positively influence our surroundings through ourselves. Be it a plant, our family or our community, there is much around us that we can nurture with love and influence with our own unique talents.

'My way is an expressway'

These are the teachers who believe that they have found "the true way" or it has been shown to them. These teachers try to convince the seeker that they and they alone hold the key to their salvation. The teachings of these people are often valued because if their path is the right path then everyone else must be wrong.

In order to follow such a teacher the seeker is often forced to sacrifice something. The first thing is usually some money for a book or a workshop in which a ’part’ of the mystery of the ’true path’ is revealed. The second and unsettling thing that the seeker must sacrifice is the power of direction.

Usually it is the wounded aspect of a seeker that is drawn to this type of teacher. It is the aspect of not having enough confidence in one's own ability to find one's own path. But this is one of the most important aspects of the spiritual journey: discovering and celebrating our own uniqueness and allowing others to do the same.

The further the seeker progresses on the path, the more he is able to shake off the false, socially constructed aspects of his personality and connect with his true, unique inner self.

There is no right or wrong on the spiritual path. Different people learn different things in different ways at different times. What works well for one person may not work for another.

The key points to remember:

Anything that requires us to read a particular book, listen to particular music, or sign a particular philosophy should probably be discarded. Of course there are great things ‘out there’ that help us on our way ... but even if certain things can help us, there is still no must ’on the spiritual path.

Anything that tells us the answer is outside of ourselves has to raise a huge red flag!

Anything that leaves us with a strong sense of despair is probably best avoided.

[solo1y]

A Facebook Convo; 7 Years Ago

Timothy O'Fallon [in a status update about his bible study group]: Let's do this Hemingway style (except badly): Exodus. Tomorrow. We journey The Bible in 1 Year then. And it will be 10AM. Climb the steps to the class above the Cafe at CCC. You might hear something new. You might not. More than likely you will. I would enjoy seeing you there. Well, except for Barry Purcell. Everyone else.

Barry Purcell [me]: You're full of bravado when you have the machinery of Florida's justice system behind you, aren't you? Remember, the restraining order runs out in two weeks. Then I can show up to your bible class any time I like and not a single person in this fine democratic nation you have can stop me.

Stupid joke time - "I had to go to a talk about Exodus, but I managed to get out of it."

Tim: That's the day I will teach the class using the gift of Tongues, Barry. And you can interpret. Ha ha! Er...wait...

Barry: I'd probably translate incorrectly: "And lo he said unto Ezekiel, 'I am shuffling. Yea, verily even unto Israel am I shuffling every day.' And every day he was shuffling."

Tim: But does He stack the deck? That's the controversy you know.

Barry: I guess if he's the one who built the deck in the first place, it would be technically impossible for him to "stack" it.

Tim: I'm telling you, you could teach this class

Barry: I don't think so, Tim. At the end of every class, I'd have to say "Just don't take any of it literally", which is probably anathema to the standards and practices department.

Tim: That would work for everything except for the stuff that was intended to be taken literally

Barry: The further back in time you go, the more likely that it's a more helpful approach to the material, regardless of the intentions of the author.

Tim: Chronological snobbery! Personally, I subscribe to the notion that determining what people mean when they say or write something is critical to understanding what they said or wrote...no matter how far back you go.

Barry: The further back you go, the less literally you have to take what was written in order to understand it. Not only are the earliest documents historically inaccurate, but they don't seem to understand "historical accuracy" even in theory. It's a relatively modern idea which we are imposing on the ancient texts, expecting them to bend to our conception of what "accurate" means. Whose fault is it when they snap under the strain?

A wonderful example is the literature of prophecy, which always, without exception, tells you nothing at all about the future and everything about the people making the predictions. This is true of all predictions made my any people in any culture, ever. But you'll miss that entire layer of reality if you interpret the prophecies literally.

Tim: I see historians (including very good ones) impose modern ideas of history on ancient texts all the time. Finding instances of that sort of thing is one of my most amusing pasttimes (pathetic, I know). But we mustn't mistake that sort of misdeed with the equally false notion that the ancients never intended to relate something that actually happened. That's not a modern idea at all, any more than the embellishment of events is exclusively an ancient habit. There is far less separating you and I from an ancient Chinese calligrapher or an Akkadian scribe than not, a fact that modern historians are at great pains to point out in every area of life except that of writing. Again, I find that amusing. And again, I continue to find it instructive and intellectually fulfilling to try to discern what an ancient writer actually inteded to say. In the case of Scripture, I find it a lot more than intellectually fulfilling. *********** Regarding prophecy, of course prophecy tells you nothing about the future if in fact prophetic prediction of the future is impossible. Ever. But one thing it DOES dell you abou the "people making the predictions" is that they were the sort of people who believed you could make true predictions about future events. And again I find that at least in this way, they aren't much different than me. And this adds a layer of "reality" to me that a skeptic, by definition, cannot attain.

Barry: I'm a skeptic and I accept that they were the sort of people who believed you could make true predictions about future events. You get those sorts of people today too, and their predictions are just as accurate at predicting the future.

Also, it's not so much that they never intended to reflect reality, it's that they would have been unaware of the psychological construct of a 'metaphor'. They frequently used metaphors to reflect their reality in a way that we wouldn't, at least not without flagging it down first. It wasn't a question of 'accurate' or 'inaccurate'. They just didn't think of things in those modern terms. However, as you say, once you are made aware of the common symbol database to which all our cultures refer (thanks to the good work of people like Joe Campbell, Carl Jung and James Frazer inter alia), it becomes easier to work out what the authors of these ancient works were getting at.

As far as I know, the Greeks were the first people to understand this, the first people to question their divine myths, the first people to even be aware of the fact that they could be questioned, and hence philosophy.

Tim: The Greeks were not the first people to question their divine myths, though they may have been among the first to misunderstand their own myths, or mythology itself for that matter. Their work in that area has certainly flourished in modern times. And becoming aware of the symbol databases to which all our cultures refer does indeed, in my view, give us some excellent tools to misunderstand the ancients more conveniently. As far as the ancient unawareness of the psychological construct of a metaphor goes, if by that you mean that they used metaphor much more brilliantly than we do today, and that in most cases they had a much greater understanding of how it ought to be used, I would agree with you wholeheartedly. And you missed my point about the skeptic (I am a skeptic too, just about different things). It was a joke. The skeptic can't share the layer of reality in which he identifies with the belief in prophecy. Now that I've explained it, it doesn't seem funny any more.

Barry: Oh well if you're identifying with prophecy in the sense that you think it's true, then yes. That facility will be denied the skeptic. At least until one of them comes true. Then the skeptics will all be on board.

I don't think they used the metaphor more brilliantly than we do. It was just a different way of looking at things. The Greeks may have misunderstood their own myths, but let us not forget that Socrates, the inventor of philosophy (more or less) got sentence to death specifically for the crime of blasphemy.

Timothy: Of course they won't be on board. See, told you I was a skeptic on some things. **** The way the ancients looked at metaphore was infinitely more mature, subtle, and poetic than the modern method. That's what I meant by brilliant. Admittedly, they were less encumbered by psychological theory and the new philology, but I think that's a good thing. And Socrates was sentenced to death in part for blasphemy, but everyone then as now knew very well that is not why he was sentenced to death. You might say he died of metaphor.

Barry: Blasphemy was the charge on the ticket, but of course he was killed for more practical reasons.

Socrates had absolutely no fear of anything; felt like he was on a divine quest to improve the lives of everyone in the world; never wrote anything down himself (so we are forced to rely on the accounts, often written long after his death, of others who make various claims on him); amassed a small gang of followers who delighted in his witty and intellectual take-downs of establishment and authority figures; tried and failed to reject his responsibilities; had his early life (at least the first 30 years) completely shrouded in mystery, relegated to one or two anecdotes; refused to defend himself properly against the charges of blasphemy when called upon to do so; accepted the death sentence even though it was well within his power to avoid it; and ultimately put more value on the truth than his own life.

You might indeed say that he "died of metaphor".

Tim: And we know all this about him because we believe we have ascertained the intent of those ancients who wrote about him. Barry, listen, I just think that when we apply modern theories of interpretation to ancient authors (the "what he REALLY must have meant (even without realizing it)" school of interpretation, we do the author a disservice. And I think we are further from understanding him or her, not closer. For example, I doubt very much I have ever met anyone in my life more misinterpreted than you. I see it happen all the time: you say something clever, it gets interpreted as a personal insult, and a personal insult gets thrown at you in return for your non-insult. But unlike the ancient authors, you are right here to clarify what you intended. Still, the person who originally misinterpreted your intent holds fast to their misinterpretation. It is comic and a little sad. But it shows that people prefer to interpret things based on their perception of things (such as the perception that you are an offensive little snit) rather than the intent of the author. Imagine, if it is that bad for you, how badly our modern perceptions - even ones not formulated by the Jungian school - mangle the intent of the ancients, who aren;t even here to clarify. In my class, I teach (or try to) on the theory that before we can evaluate anything about a text, we first need to do our best to figure out what the original author of that text intended it to mean. Sometimes, as you pointed out, they have a different way of looking at things than we do, and so of course that goes into determining their intent as well. But I do not subscribe to the notion that just because an author is ancient, that he thinks COMPLETELY differently than we do, or that the further back we go the more alien it is when he writes "the emperor made a sacrifice to the gods to cure his toothache" (oracle bones) or "and he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither, and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper"(psalm 1). The intent of the author is comprehensible because we are more alike than not; the distance between us in time does little to distance us in basic inference or the conceptions that follow from it.

Barry: Fair enough. My original concern was that not so much that we might think of modern ways of interpreting texts as "better", but that we would subconsciously parse all those ancient texts through our modern filters *before* we even get around to asking what the author meant. We are often unaware of how much damage we can do to an ancient text just by deciding what does or doesn't count as inside the parameters of what the author meant, and we are often unaware that we're even doing it.

Nothing I've said here is peculiar to the bible, by the way. All this would work as well for the Iliad, or any other ancient text. Despite the sterling work of Schliemann, we may never know for sure what went on at Troy, or if it happened at all. But *something* happened to cause some literary masterminds to record it. And that's as good a start as any.

Maybe what I'm saying is that the further back we go, the less likely it is for us to encounter literal, accurate history in the modern sense, because there was no modern sense of literal, accurate history back then. Does that sound better?