#but i won't say he treated me poorly bc he really didn't

[no-one-hears-me]

boutta ask my bro if he has any hot friends to send my way as a distraction

[mybrainproblems]

Hi I keep thinking about your endverse!Cas in s13 and the brainworms won't stop. Like endverse Cas lost his powers when the angels left so I'm gonna make the assumption that when he comes to this world, his powers will be back. But he's so full of self loathing and so hateful towards other angels, and he literally still thinks of Jack as an abomination because he didn't have any of the s12 arc. And on top of that, he'll learn that Chuck is God and a writer and he couldn't be bothered to save his world, but brought back this Cas, the one that Dean loves and grieves instead of sending Cas to his death, the one that Sam trusts, and he would feel so fucking LONELY. I'm gonna CRY, Alex why do you do this to me

gshdbsjsk I don't want to be starting to answer this at midnight but it's spinning in my brain like the doner at the Lebanese pizza place I used to go to.

So. I think they still get Cas back at the end of Advanced Thanatology but it's endverse!Cas (Jack does still wake up "our" Cas tho). We still have Dean getting the call at the end of the ep but Cas asks where they are and he'll come to them at the bunker. He has his wings now so he's there immediately and is so caught up in DEAN IS ALIVE that he just grabs him and lays one on him. Which Dean kisses back for a moment before realizing that this isn't his Cas but he does know this Cas.

Sam walks in and is super confused. Cas freaks out since the last time he saw him he was Lucifer's vessel and he hasn't quite worked out the details of this timeline besides that he can feel his grace starting to come back and there are no croatoans and everyone is alive and the world isn't totally fucked. They're halfway to reassuring Cas that Sam isn't Lucifer and Dean is trying to get Sam to trust this Cas while also being giddy that a Cas is back while also deeply mourning the apparent loss of "his" Cas. And that's when Jack walks in which touches off a whole round of Cas freaking out that there's a nephil and now he has to deal with a blood freak abomination and a nephil abomination. Jack then gets upset when he realizes that this isn't the Cas who was supposed to be his father and thinks he fucked up trying to bring back Cas.

Somehow Dean manages to get between everyone and get them to chill so they can fill in this Cas on wtf has been going on in this world. Cas continues to lash out at Sam and Jack and sticks close to Dean which Dean knows he shouldn't be happy about but can't help it.

Skipping ahead a ways I do think that Dean sees how Cas treats Jack poorly and feels sick at how much it feels like watching his childhood on replay and eventually tells Cas he needs to leave and check in with heaven which sends this Cas through the fucking roof. Especially now that he's found out about Chuck. He's a huge asshole to everyone but a lot of it is just raw grief for how much he's suffered and lost and this is a Dean so much more whole than the one who sent him to die and yet he's almost as distant. (Tombstone is heartbreaking instead of fun.)

Cas does opt to go out on his own bc he realizes that he just does not fit in with them and it's not fair to anyone (including himself) that he continue to stick around. So now endverse!Cas is on a walkabout on his own...

The above is only like, one or two episodes. "Our" Cas ends up finally clawing his way out of the empty at the end of s13, basically in time for Dean to say yes to Michael. Endverse!Cas having kissed Dean makes things a bit awkward with Cas being back and Dean doesn't know how to act bc this Cas isn't broken the way the endverse one is and clearly that relationship was the result of Cas being corrupted and cut off from heaven so everything else happens exactly the same with the empty deal and confessions. There's just a lot more explicit longing and yearning from Dean.

Endverse!Cas does end up coming back and meets huntercorp!Dean and they fuck off to Brazil together.

I have lots more thoughts but I'm getting incoherent and really need to not totally fuck my sleep schedule...

@doemons-blog, tagging you as well since you sent the initial ask and idk if you're interested in additional thoughts :')

The original post

[s0phos-writes]

wizardess heart

perhaps unsurprisingly i was disappointed by this otome's story as well lmao same gripes about the MC, i don't like her personality so throw the whole MC away bc rn all she is a clumsy, kinda dumb, naive, happy-go-lucky, bubbly, spineless FOOL lmao these traits aren't SO BAD but they definitely aren't written well in this story

so a little more backstory with the MC's relationship to the school woulda been nice, i think she mentions offhandedly that she always wanted to go and she was finally accepted?? But like also she sucks at most magic so how did she get in?? Was it an application? or do they just watch out for young hopefuls idk

I THINK it would make more sense if she was orphaned young (bc canonically she lost her parents 2 years b4 the events of the game and like?? that seems like not a lot of time to be completely trauma free about both parents dying?? but i've never lost any parents so maybe its completely normal and i'm the asshole) and had an elderly woman figure help her out with her magic, but only taught her how to work with animals b4 she fell ill and later died :^(

ALSO MY MC WON'T BE A FUCKING PUSHOVER bc frankly i'm sick of it being such a common otome MC trait ok?? jeez

she has this wizard role model guy that she really admires but he's only been offhandedly mentioned like twice?? if he's supposed to be an important plot point then?? act like one maybe???

elias' route

tbh i only played this route so i can't speak on the stories for the other routes but this one really left something to be desired for me... so i wanna see if i can do better lmao

SO ELIAS i thiiiink he’s like the tsundere one? so he suffers from typical otome tsundere love-interest syndrome where he is JUST PLAIN MEAN to the MC but it's ok bc he's hot right? then he like likes you and then he's not mean anymore... AND MY BIGGEST GRIEVANCE with the game was they wouldn't let me stand up for myself when elias treated me poorly like!! IM JUST SO!! PISSED!!! EVERY option where i defended myself from what he said!!! WAS THE WRONG ANSWER!!! he would say smthg mean and i'd be like “that's mean” and the game would be like “he likes u, u bitch, show some respect” LIKE!!!! RLLY NOW !!!

so anyway my first change would be going more in-depth into elias' personality and why he is they way that he is and my solution? give that bitch anxiety! like fr fr i think they mention it in game but like i wanna go all in; i referenced a tweet i happened upon (ik very proper medical diagnosis lol) that sounded exactly like elias so i was like "oh work"

the second change would be to give the story a coherent plot? lmao bc i wrote almost everything down and i still didn't remember wtf happened or what the point of anything was and that a problem lol

[vestboyfriends]

also I don’t know if anyone has caught the way steve was staring at eddie after that scene of ed grabbing the top of dustin’s head when they’re all going over the vecna plan. there was something so intense about the way he was looking at him in that moment it felt like it meant something more to me I don’t know… it’s such a brief moment I haven’t seen anyone else talk about it ahhhhh

you've come to the right place to talk about it bc i absolutely love that scene! it's such a small and apparently meaningless moment but for me it holds some kind of... momentum. it's the perfect little shot that precedes the talk steve has with dustin and eddie right outside the trailer in the upside down; steve is looking at them like he isn't convinced about the whole "acting as decoys" part of the plan, and in that way we understand why he suddenly stops before leaving the two alone to distract the demobats later in the episode.

now, as we know, steve this season was treated rather poorly, and we couldn't really appreciate his caring, motherly side since he almost never showed it during volume 2, but we know it is there, so it's safe to assume his concern was present and alive even during that tiny little moment. it's even more evident when steve feels the need to stop and talk to eddie and dustin one last time to reassure himself that they would be safe.

that scene is also one of the many reasons i think it's extremely stupid when people say steve doesn't care about eddie at all, because there wouldn't be a reason for steve to look out for eddie as much as he does if he didn't give a shit about him. plus, those little glances they share are, to quote you, dear anon, a little bit too intense to be casual. but of course that could be all up to the actors' own interpretations and deliveries, so i won't focus too much on that.

to sum it up: that brief moment between steve and eddie makes me just as insane bc it shows the care steve has for eddie and dustin perfectly even if it lasts 2 seconds and i think we all should talk about it more

[spaeve]

rant time im sorry

my brother doesn't live with me (he's almost 28) but he came home for the holidays and will stay here until the other monday, but the problem is that he's lowkey a piece of shit. he doesn't respect my boundaries, never leaves me alone and is always treating me like a little child and annoying me.

his relationship with my parents sucks so my whole family gets even weirder and more annoying while he's here (if i laugh too loud my dad might show up in my room to tell me shut up and stuff like that). my brother is always disrespecting my parents and they start ignoring him and getting mad at anything and everything.

it always kinda ends up falling on me, because i have to try to spend time with my dad, with my mom (who is also currently dealing with a LOT of bs from her sisters bc my grandma is really bad, so my mom has been spending so much time at her place and stuff), and also with my brother. if i dont spend time with my dad he starts getting madder and madder, and if i don't spend time with my brother he starts treating me poorly, even if not intentional. but my dad cannot stand spending time with my brother so 🥴.

adding to that i have a huge exam on feb 5th and 6th to try to get into college (the system here in brazil is pretty different so it's hard to explain), and i didn't study shit during the pandemic, so now i have to spend my summer break studying for it.

my parents were always chill abt how much i did or didnt study, but now, out of nowhere, my mom started getting super mad if i don't study. with that she started getting mad at my brother too and is making him "teach" me everything (but he doesn't remember anything anymore bc it's been 11 years man...). in conclusion, he is studying WITH me everything.

the issue is that he's a genius (like srs, he has a super high iq) and loves to study chemistry, math and physics. and i am a depressed adhder who hates chemistry math and physics. he wants to study (those subjects) all the damn time and he does it easily, while i can't fucking sit still for long and i can't stand those subjects. i need frequent breaks and he doesn't, but since he's studying with me i have to follow HIS pace. it's hard for me to understand and remember stuff and he CANT understand that bro. (also im on my summer break, i dont want to study 24/7...).

and when i'm not studying he still DOESNT LEAVE ME ALONE. im autistic, i need time alone to recharge but he won't give me that.

and this leads to days like thursday, that my mind was overwhelming me and him not leaving my room for anything making it even worse. what happened? i started having a breakdown and doing harming stimming. my mom wasnt at home and when she got home and found out i wasnt studying she got mad and started saying shitty things to my dad. this made everything worse and i forced myself to study while still super overwhelmed and went non verbal.

yesterday was friday and i was expecting that after i finished studying (at 1am) i could lay in my bed to read some fics, watch cm, whatever, but nooo i had to spend 2 more hours with my family in our tiny living room eating snacks and watching tv, when all i wanted was alone time.

they all think im just extremely lazy, and sure i am sometimes, but they dont and will never respect my neurodivergence and my struggles.

(idk how to end this i just wanted to rant but i doubt anyone read all of this so it's cool)