#but idk that ones not quite the rip ur own legs off kind of love it

[angelhound]

feeling personally victimized that ptv did not play their new song when i saw them bc i have heard 30 seconds of it that were leaked and it’s literally. so good it hurts my feelings. going to kill myself later when it comes out

[coepiteamare]

about me? tag games

tagged by the lovely @yeojaa! thank you for the tag!

tagging: @bratkook​ (because you’re gorgeous but also hi! i want to talk to you more but i’m so easily intimidated 🥺) idk anyone else who doesn’t mind their face being shown, but if you want to, consider yourself tagged by me 💕🥰

post your favourite/most recent photo of yourself 

i do not like my face unless it doesn’t look like my face? but i’m trying to be better about accepting it/taking pictures because it’s the one face i’m going to get. and lovely noor always hypes me up 🥰 this is my most recent one...from one year ago! all of my photos are from aerial performances lol which is why the outfit is very sparkly. (...i don’t know why my lips are always pursed someone help me)

the first thing that came to mind was my tenacity and stubbornness. it’s a double edged sword, especially when i get unnecessarily competitive with the stupidest things (there have been many times when i would argue with my therapist for the stupidest things for the sake of “winning.” jesse, i’m so sorry), but it’s funny at times. 

the first thing that came to mind was my tenacity and stubbornness. it’s a double edged sword, especially when i get unnecessarily competitive with the stupidest things (there have been many times when i would argue with my therapist for the stupidest things for the sake of “winning.” jesse, i’m so sorry), but it’s funny at times. 

i dont know if this a personality trait, but my willingness to learn? i like to be openminded because there is so much out there that i do not know. and there’s so much that i had (and still have!) to unlearn and re-learn and learn to be a better human being. and a lot of that isn’t possible without being willing to learn and open-minded! 

favourite body part of yours

my ankles? i have a friend who really likes my ankles. (they’re weirdly tiny? i have small hands, but if i wrap my hand around it, i can almost touch my thumb and middle finger. they’re also super weak though so i lose my balance quite often and have stretched my ligament a few times). or my eyes i guess. to be honest, i really don’t like my body but i’ve been trying to practice body neutrality more, trying to understand that this is the body i’ve been given and while i may not love it, it does what it needs to do and i’m very fortunate and privileged to be able bodied on the surface and mostly able bodied in general! 

favourite aesthetic/style on yourself

ohhh a tough one. i really like oversized sweaters and shirts with short shorts so that it looks like i’m not wearing anything underneath? one of my friends likes to associate that look with me. i also love sundresses, the ones that float and settle gently when you spin. 

what are you most proud of?

my friends! my friends are a great source of my pride and joy and i’m very proud and grateful to be able to have them in my life, that they have seen me through my ups and downs, that they’re willing to call me out on my bullshit and still sit with me when i’m low, and that they love me. i’ve made quite a few reckless decisions, but the friends i keep and made, they’re some of the best ones i’ve made in my life. but...if we’re going for a more direct answer, how much care and affection i give to my friends! sometimes i’m not a great friend because i’m unable to work past my depression and si and thoughts, but i think for the most part and when it counts the most, i try my best to be present with my friends and check in with them, sending them messages, and doing everything in my power to let them know they’re loved and appreciated! i wouldn’t be where i am today without my friends. 

a trait people say they like about you

i’m cackling. i actually had to ask my groupchat this: they said they like how excited i am about things/when i care about someone/something i care A LOT about them and i’m invested 200%. “you call it being a nerd abt things you like including marvel, queens gambit, etc. I think you carry it into how you love & care for ppl too. i feel that way when you tell me that you’ll read my papers even tho they’re long & annoying or when you bring me food bc you remember I had been craving it or when your randomly text me things out of nowhere & just check in on me to see how I’m doing” “i like how excited u get abt things. it’s nice knowing u want me to be a part of ur world.”

a personality/physical trait that you used to be ashamed of but now appreciate

oh dear. for physical, my eyes? they’re monolidded and they don’t fit western/korean beauty standards, so as a kid, they were one of my biggest insecurities. but now, i’ve kind of come to peace with them? it makes makeup harder because there’s things that i can’t do (not that i have the talent to pull off intricate eyeshadow looks anyways) but we work with what we’re given. 

personality wise...i’m not really sure because i think i’ve grown and changed a lot, but a lot of things have stayed the same and i don’t really think i was embarrassed about my personality? there are lots that i don’t like that i’ve come to accept, however. i’m work very much in extremes: i’m a leaky faucet or breaking dam. i’m all or nothing. i feel too much or too little. i used to hate it, but now, it’s just whatever. i’m very ambivalent about it. 

favourite colour on you?

blue! i really like wearing blue and black and white? i think blue is just very versatile and i associate a lot of my personality to it. black and white is...well black and white haha. i feel like they look good with anything but i don’t own a lot of them, for some reason. maybe when things get better, i’d like to thrift some more black and white pieces. 

favourite clothing on you

MY DOCS! even though they’re high key a bitch and i bought them because the girls i worked with encouraged my desire to buy them (2/3 of my female coworkers at levis wore docs with their jeans and i felt like it was validating me to finally make the purchase after 3 years.) they go with almost everything and they make me feel like i can stomp all over my insecurities! i like jeans (probably from my short stint at levi’s), especially the high waisted ones. my favourites are the painter boys (loose, lots of pockets, wide legged) and the wedgie (that name is ridiculous, no matter how many times i see/say it). i love my ripped wedgie jeans with my docs. as for tops, i love cardigans but do not own any.

an aesthetic you want to try but are too scared to

CROP TOPS!!! crop tops and skin tight clothing? because of my body shape, i know they look good on me but i just am not comfortable in them? i would also love to try thigh high boots at one point in my life. also, the all black, professional aesthetic? idk what it’s called, but the blazers and black turtlenecks and slacks? would love to try, but that section intimidates me

things you like getting compliments on the most

i’m awful at receiving compliments unless they’re sarcastic ones hehe. but i like getting compliments on my writing? or on the things that i do that make other people happy and loved? i like receiving compliments on the things that i do for other people! (not that i do them to receive compliments though!)

lastly, do you love yourself?

ahahahaha 🙃