triple checks it's the right blog this time...
so I'm having a p shitty week and I'm gonna cope by talking abt my meta for solas, mostly in terms of his personality and behavior. I have a LOT of meta abt his past and nature and future but that's... another post, lmao
some of his key and/or most interesting characteristics:
kind
selfish
reserved
arrogant
empathetic
detached
now, let's dig into these
kind: he clearly and consistently wants people to be happy or to alleviate their suffering. he's glad the inquisition helps refugees, he's glad (dialogue, not approval iirc) when you take the time to find the apostate supply caches in the hinterlands, he makes a point of connecting with every single companion, even ones who regularly degrade him. and in trespasser, he goes to extreme lengths to keep southern thedas from falling to the qun, because he wants the people - those he knows and those he doesn't - to be happy and at relative peace.
this is one of the most remarkable things he does imo, bc if he'd just let the situation develop, he'd have an absolutely clear path to achieving his goals. yes, he'd need to get the anchor another way, but that's hardly impossible. what matters is that by stopping the war, he gives the inquisition/inquisitor clearance to pursue him without distraction, while also arguably giving the qunari the ability to focus on strengthening the veil, bc i cant imagine the viddasala and her people were the only ones of all qunari to have/know of that goal
selfish: if romancing lavellan, he understands one aspect of his selfishness, because it's a relationship he should have shut down HARD. but his feelings are real... and he selfishly gives in to them, even knowing he'll break their heart. he does try to pull away, he does eventually break up with lavellan, but by then the damage is done. even the offer to remove their vallaslin is selfish in its way - he's trying to give them a piece of the truth, but instead delivers a cruelty and leaves them whether they accept or deny his offer.
but he's selfish in another important way, too: he's convinced of his own perspective. he thinks bc he literally knows more (which, yeah, tbf he does), that his pov holds more weight. he's willing to change the world bc of his guilt about it ofc, but also bc he's - selfishly, self-centered - convinced that he's RIGHT to do so. he's not traditionally selfish - in many ways he's selfless, overwhelmingly willing to sacrifice all his own chances at happiness and peace in order to restore the world - but his selfishness (which ties in with his arrogance) is shown in his self-conviction.
he makes excuses, but honestly? he could have told the inquisitor who and what he was. he could have done that! he could ask for help reconnecting the fade with the waking world. dreadwolf could be about the inquisition gathering together myriad experts and looking for ways to do it that aren't destructive. but he's so assured that his path is the right one, the only one.
and it's... a complicated selfishness, too, because part of it is that he feels like he deserves to be punished. he thinks he needs to walk this path alone not bc the inquisitor is incapable, but because 1) He Knows What's Right, and 2) He Deserves To Suffer (to alleviate his guilt about his "sins" - which is selfish in a complicated and roundabout way)
reserved: the superficial aspect of this is obvious: he's lying about his identity. but he's also reserved as part of his core character - according to him, he used to be reckless, quick to fight. I think his reserve is something he grew into, a willingness to play the long game, an understanding that information given can never be taken away. it leads to other things - a hesitance to trust, for example - but it's just a part of him now. I think even if he found someone to be 100% open with, he'd STILL be reserved by nature
arrogant: my man is an arrogant ass, no denying it. ofc he knows so much more about history than those around him, but he's also so willing to fight about it, to condescend, to trivialize. when he realizes he has a genuinely receptive audience his tone changes, so I think a lot of this stems from defensiveness and a deep familiarity with needing to justify his every expressed opinion, but... he's still an ass. his conversation with a dalish inquisitor at haven? yikes.
he's also regularly convinced that his interpretations are the correct ones. like wrt my recent post about the mages after Faded For Her, I have to assume that he thinks the inquisitor sparing them demonstrates disdain for the inherent value of spirits and their sentience, even if the real reason is a lot more complicated. he jumps to conclusions and states them like facts and it takes a lot for him to begin to deconstruct them
empathetic: this ties in with his kindness ofc, but its worth a unique mention. he is incredibly empathetic. he cares about what happens to people, to spirits, even to your enemies in a way - he talks with bull about how he doesn't like to relish his victories in combat because the people he kills could have been something else, someone else. he cares about wolves (I WONDER WHY... but also like, him being fen'harel doesn't mean he HAS to care about wolves, but he does, bc he cares about animals, too), he cares about the farmers being attacked by wolves, he cares about the refugees, he's understanding towards speaker anais and the cult that grew up around the rifts... he not only cares, he understands where people are coming from, regardless of who they are or how they behave
detached: this one lessens somewhat over the course of the game, but he's deeply, fundamentally detached to the world he woke up in and the people who inhabit it. its a little ironic when u look at his kindness and empathy, but it doesn't negate his detachment. i tend to think of him as seeing everything through a fog, feeling like he's not really there at least as much as he feels like everyone else is not really there.
not joking or exaggerating, he must have such terrible trouble with disassociation/derealization. ive seen people bring up excellent points wrt this that i dont feel a need to rehash, but suffice to say: while he still cares, everything he experiences is at a remove. this stems from shock, trauma, guilt, fear, and profound culture shock.
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characters: you/imaushi wakasa, sano shinichiro...
a/n: angst lol. strangers to friends. themes of fwb but nothing explicit. switch of perspective. mcd obviously,,
as i said in this post the loose explanatio/beginning of an idea i had that i liked ALOT but couldnt write due to various reasons (esp lck of time) (open post for a lil further stuff for reader x wakasa ig,,,)
attending the same classes as shinichiro sano... you've heard of him alright but that's about it. a nice face to look at perhaps but a little odd. not someone you'd interact with occasionally, nor someone you'd remember in particular-
until you're paired with him for an assignment. it'll help build bonds between the lot of you! the teacher announces and everyone groans in unision
you shoot your new partner to be a look from where you stand and turn back to your notebook. the ring bells but by the time you can get up adn gather your stuff, sano is nowhere to be seen
it takes you hours to find him. and at possibily one of the worst times too.
you heard of the rumors about fights and deliquents but you didn't expect yourself to run into one. youre careful, you live a peaceful life, you avoid trouble, always keep a clean name and all-
the people around all battered and beaten up, covered in bruises, cuts and maybe blood, looking hungry, unsatisfied, maddened– and you're in the center of it all.
footsteps approach you, strong, stern, taking their time and all- you hold it in you to not turn for a look. wait for them to show their face at your feet, dont give them the satisfaction nor even the slightest sign of weakness.
a man with blond hair and a pretty face, long lashes and all, stands before you, looking almost a little amused. "what's a pretty little thing doin' here all by themselv-" "where's sano" you cut him midsentence.
the man looks baffled, a little offensed even. soon joined by a second figure a lot taller than him, they both look at you with hostility and a hint of curiosity.
who cares, you scoff internally, whatever intimidation they're going for, you won't fall for it.
the other man raises a brow at the way you've mentioned sano. shit, you do hope this was not the wrong place, or whatever fight went down there, they must've won... right?
"and who is asking?" the blond speaks up again, sounding a little annoyed now. "you know, we don't allow passes to every pretty thi-" "eeeew" you drag the word and scretch like a gum, making sure to put on a face. "none of your business actually." you add on, placing your hand against a hip.
"why, you-" before he can follow up with whatever's on his tongue, a jolly greeting from behind interrupts him, cutting through the air. you can notice how the idle folks around suddenly tense up, and for the two man before you, shoulders dropped, bodies relaxing...
soon sano emerges, with his hair put up and stylized, nothing like the man in your class, a deliquent out of a shitty teen's magazine you'd say so.
exhanging greets with the two men and doing a special handshake for only them to know, he looks in the mood, just his face a little bruised up and some blood on his clothes.
so that's probably why he skips school some days, you muse.
he notices you a little later.
"oh!" mouth formed into an 'o' shape, you can see his surprise written all over but he is quick to disperse all that." greeting you with your surname formally, he reaches out a hand, then brings it up upon noticing the splatters of blood and takes it back with a sheepish smile.
"what brings you there?" he asks, never losing a bit of his joy that contradicts the entire atmosphere.
"our assignment." you say curtly and receive another sound of surprise from him. he looks apolegitic at the very least, you think.
"well.. uh-" he scratches the back of his head, casting a glance around, you wait to see where the stammering will go.
"how would you wanna do it then?" he asks more for you than himself, to ease you probably, you can only assume.
another joins their little group, keeping silent and watching what's going on. you relly, really should get going, you decide after giving a quick look around. "we can go over the details at an appropirate time later."
"alright then!" he says, never missing a beat from his energy. it's unbelievable, you think. "should we... ah-" he pauses, "exchange numbers to keep in touch then?" he asks, and he means well, you can tell just from the way he looks and talks, but the rest? you're not exactly dying to say out loud your contact information. especially not with that blond anywhere within a 20 meter radius.
"here." you say, reaching out your hand to reveal your phone. "i'm not announcing my number for a bunch of weirdo, self proclaimed deliquents to hear."
your words take him by shock but he breaks into a snort right after. the two men exchange a glance and a thug at their lips as well. the blond however does not look once pleased with your words.
or you at all.
you begin to come and go to their place often, the assignment builds up slow but steady and the guys seem reasonable enough after actually sitting down and hearing each other out. shin looks happy with the development too, says you have brought a change but you'd disagree. he is the light and sun and the beating heart of this place and wherever he goes, they follow, absolute devotion and belief in him, as a person, for his mind and for his heart.
you can see why, you can feel it too. once you begin to spend your time with shinichiro sano, all the rumors and speculations you've heard up until then are gone. assignment be damned, you can tell when a friendship begins to bloom and with shin- it happens at such a pace, you find yourself a little afraid.
the assignment ends, presentation and all, with flying colors you pass and decide to celebrate it out, with the rest joining as well.
a karaoke bar is all fun and games until night rolls out. it has gotten late but shin offers to walk you home; keizo and takeumi dragging a very drunk and messed up wakasa. everyone bids one another goodbye- save for wakasa... and you almost believe youhave seen a hint of sadness in their eyes as they bump their fists against yours. if you didn't know any better, you'd ever go as far as to say they'll miss you around.
a day passes, another and another... much to their relief and encouragement, you stick around.
not within the vicinity on the days big fights go around but definitely dropping by to hang out, fool around and whatnot. it's now your laughter mixed with shin's that fills the air, and everyone seems joyful and happy most of the time- save for imaushi wakasa.
for reasons unbeknowst to you, he remains hostile, rude, and on and up about sending your way stupid lines like he did the first time. most of the time you ignore him, which annoys him further– the scene alone brings a smile to your lips, the smirk of a vixen, you even overhear him once, yelling to keizo about you are, sounding very much frustrated.
despite this is how the things begin and roll out, neither of you expect to grow close- closer than you'd have imagined.
yes, you and shin might be the sunshines, but you and wakasa? the two of you become inseperable. you even hear some people mumble how they fear the two of you looking down at them, gazes that burn holes through their skulls, see into their souls... the two of you could make a power couple- if you were one at all.
there is the heat, there is the tension. you comb through his hair with a gentle touch that has wakasa melting in your hold, yet the second someone dares to imply anything more, you shoot them a glance so heavy, it'd crash their lungs.
wakasa hopes, in the end, that perhaps there is an end to it that is happy, that is hopeful. he knows there is no making up for the way he treated you but you were not the kindest toward him either, so it makes you equals, no?
so he sings sappy songs at karaoke whilst tipsy, so any accusation he can brush off as the effect of the booze, but hopes you caught how he looked at you. so he touches you as soft as you do him, trying to mimic your kindness, an attempt at how love, in the physical, in action should be.
he doesn't know any better, why should he? why should anyone to begin with?
it scares him how natural it is for shin and you. some days he finds himself envying the two of you even, would things be any different were you to attend the same school as the two of you? oh what wouldn't he do to be graced with your smiles and giggles all day every day, having you look at him as you rest your cheek against your palm–
he aches for something a tad normal sometimes, at the very least with you. would the two of you ever cross paths were it not for shin? the thought scares him and he feels like an asshole for envying his friend like this, desperate for anything that would come from your hands.
but at the end of the day, it is himself you seek out. his arms that you allow around your person, his lips on you, devoring you, it's wakasa that consumes you wholly and the thought brings a wave of comfort at the very least.
then the entire world collapses down in the span of 24 hours.
shinichiro dies.
almost 24 hours have passed since his death and wakasa still cannot find it in him to return to reality yet.
then like an angel amidst the chaos, you reemerge from the fog, from smoke. it doesn't take a genius to figure out something is wrong.
"waka," you call out to him, sound laced with something he cannot quite pinpoint. shutting his eyes completely, he sits in the same spot for a moment, all the doubts, every single negative, twisted and fucked up thng he has been holding at bay til now so close to breaking out.
you speak, but he does not hear the words.
not pass the 'i am leaving'
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HI Uncle Nina <3 Can we hear about how your Rm!Style met as kids?
listen, you guys. i am SO excited for this!!! words cannot express how excited it makes me when i get to talk about the prequel, like they are sooo stikin' cute in the prequel!!! ilysm baby raven and jersey. MWAH!
*eldritchhorror!kenny!nina cracks knuckles n opens up a portal* okay girls, gays n gays, we're going on a field trip,
TO THE PAST!
( i’m chaotic bi ms. frizzle in the pink y2k hello kitty bus )
so, i gotta be honest, my friends, i don't know EXACTLY how old the boys are, but i am gonna say they are anywhere between 6-8 y/o. it's summer time and the broflovski's have just moved to southern park, colorado from sheila's hometown in new jersey...and have moved in right next door...to the marsh family, namely:
ravenstanley r.w. marsh.
who i am using as a primary narrator...FOR ONCE!
because to tell you this was the best day of his life was an goddamn understatement...to tell you that this changed his life, even, is a fkn understatement because this moment, this fateful day GAVE HIS ENTIRE LIFE MEANING. meeting kyle broflovski...was Everything.
again, it wasn't just like 'oh, this boy who moved next door to me is kinda cute, i might have a crush on him'
It Was Dead Serious, Guys.
a teeny tiny, itsy bitsy, ickle ravenstanley marsh heard a single loud, angry, brutal note of the kyle broflovski new jersey slaughterhouse and was immediately irreversibly head over heels IN LOVE with him.
fresh from jersey kyle asked stan if he could open his fresca and the man's synesthesia was flashing, spinning, ringing and dinging like he was playing the world's biggest slot machine and just hit JACKPOT.
and that was before he got a good look at him because...
Wooooowza. <3
all the hundreds of little freckles speckled over his skin like sun-stars, his big, beautiful curly red hair, his gorgeous, glowering mean, green eyes ravenstan was legitimately Breathtaken by kyle's beauty, omfg.
however, the funniest part abt all of this to me is that poor sweet pre!rm rae is legitimately having divine visions and hearing angelic choirs, meanwhile pre!rm jers is just staring blankly at this weird, giant-eyed freaky mouth-breathing rural colorado kid ( who ig is his neighbor now, smh ) that's just staring up at him and sweating and shaking and looks like he's having a Stroke.
edit: i forgot to describe what they looked like so know that ravenstan had come out of the house because his mom told him to say hi to the neighbors and help them with boxes and stuff, say hi to their son, etc.
i think his hair is shoulder length, but its in a lil ponytail, he's in randy's gigantic black sabbath t-shirt, probably has a gigantic edgy boy temp tattoo of a skull or a snake on his neck, smh, little like hot wheels, boy section of target-esqe stickers all over his face and arms, little other edgy elementary school boy marker tattoos on his arms because he literally has always been a rockstar.
meanwhile, jersey, in canon ncu baby kyle fashion, is wearing his gigantic kyle signature orange coat and green ushanka IN THE MIDDLE OF SUMMER because he is self conscious and sheila bought both on sale at the mall during summer when the winter stuff is all half up because she's a thrifty queen and wants him to get wear out of them and break them in...smh.
so he is sweating like hell and just wants to get his fresca open, which is very vintage and still comes in the bottle.
but regarding The Fresca Of Fate,
stan Does eventually ( open / it. )
...in the most chaotic, unhinged way possible, btw.
which is that baby ravenstan bites, rips and twists the cap off with his teeth like a feral fucking animal ( which i think happened because he was legitimately panicking like holy shit, what do i do, what the Fuck do i doooo?!?! i don't know how to get this open but the beautiful spotty boy w/ the perfect voice asked me to do it, so ¡oRALE! )
note: it is this party trick that he'd seen randy do a couple of times and just replicated, but totally ripped his lip open in the process, btw.
anyways, rae hands the fresca back to baby jersey and because he is a fkn idiot but also a superstar ( i love u raven ) shoots kyle the signature stanley marsh wink-peace sign-finger gun combo wombo.
and jersey is just SHOOK because that was, in fact, criminally insane, but also...kinda cool? and an oddly touching gesture because he could have just handed the bottle back or said go fuck yourself, new kid! because he didn't give a shit about this kid from next door and his parents were both busy...but wanted kyle to have his little drinky poo so bad that he literally busted his lip open turning into a can-opener for ky...and did the cutest, weirdest most awkward hand-sign ever.
tldr; it was brave and reckless and boyish and radiant. and kyle, who usually is highly disgusted by the germs of other people...finds that brings the lip of the fresca bottle to his with ease, sips his drink, which tastes like victory and probably a bit like cinnamon red hots, watches his weirdo neighbor give him the wink peace sign finger gun combo and is so weirdly endeared by this that he...
gives stan a rare kyle smile and even rarer kyle laugh. :’)
and this is so glorious and gorgeous to ravenstan that he literally cannot breathe, his heart is pounding in his chest, he is fkn shaking, goes to say something and immediately THROWS UP ALL OVER KYLE AND PASSES OUT. skhdlksahdsh HEEEEELP NO.
but yeah...that's how dad and dad met. please note that in canon ncu fashion ravenstan followed jersey around like a lovesick puppy, ignoring all of the kids trying to get his attention and play with him, desperate for kyle to acknowledge his existence for literally five seconds or accept his offer of being super best friends...
all the while, jerseykyle is trying to get away from him because he doesn't like other people, doesn't want to be friends, just wants to be left alone and be alone skhdld and is like weird kid with the giant eyeballs PLEASE FUCK OFF ( this does make stan fall more in love with him, stan i need you to go to therapy for the type of guys u like ) and this apathy and disinterest continues until...
stan takes the stark's pond hockey puck for him.
and suddenly, kyle's cold dead heart starts beating again, he sees ravenstan in the hospital recovering from slicing his face and mouth open again, who smiles so hard he RIPS his stitches open again, smh and from that moment on, they are Super Best Friends.
but both secretly want something more, legend says.
-uncle nina, obsessed with the prequel <3
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