triple checks it's the right blog this time...
so I'm having a p shitty week and I'm gonna cope by talking abt my meta for solas, mostly in terms of his personality and behavior. I have a LOT of meta abt his past and nature and future but that's... another post, lmao
some of his key and/or most interesting characteristics:
kind
selfish
reserved
arrogant
empathetic
detached
now, let's dig into these
kind: he clearly and consistently wants people to be happy or to alleviate their suffering. he's glad the inquisition helps refugees, he's glad (dialogue, not approval iirc) when you take the time to find the apostate supply caches in the hinterlands, he makes a point of connecting with every single companion, even ones who regularly degrade him. and in trespasser, he goes to extreme lengths to keep southern thedas from falling to the qun, because he wants the people - those he knows and those he doesn't - to be happy and at relative peace.
this is one of the most remarkable things he does imo, bc if he'd just let the situation develop, he'd have an absolutely clear path to achieving his goals. yes, he'd need to get the anchor another way, but that's hardly impossible. what matters is that by stopping the war, he gives the inquisition/inquisitor clearance to pursue him without distraction, while also arguably giving the qunari the ability to focus on strengthening the veil, bc i cant imagine the viddasala and her people were the only ones of all qunari to have/know of that goal
selfish: if romancing lavellan, he understands one aspect of his selfishness, because it's a relationship he should have shut down HARD. but his feelings are real... and he selfishly gives in to them, even knowing he'll break their heart. he does try to pull away, he does eventually break up with lavellan, but by then the damage is done. even the offer to remove their vallaslin is selfish in its way - he's trying to give them a piece of the truth, but instead delivers a cruelty and leaves them whether they accept or deny his offer.
but he's selfish in another important way, too: he's convinced of his own perspective. he thinks bc he literally knows more (which, yeah, tbf he does), that his pov holds more weight. he's willing to change the world bc of his guilt about it ofc, but also bc he's - selfishly, self-centered - convinced that he's RIGHT to do so. he's not traditionally selfish - in many ways he's selfless, overwhelmingly willing to sacrifice all his own chances at happiness and peace in order to restore the world - but his selfishness (which ties in with his arrogance) is shown in his self-conviction.
he makes excuses, but honestly? he could have told the inquisitor who and what he was. he could have done that! he could ask for help reconnecting the fade with the waking world. dreadwolf could be about the inquisition gathering together myriad experts and looking for ways to do it that aren't destructive. but he's so assured that his path is the right one, the only one.
and it's... a complicated selfishness, too, because part of it is that he feels like he deserves to be punished. he thinks he needs to walk this path alone not bc the inquisitor is incapable, but because 1) He Knows What's Right, and 2) He Deserves To Suffer (to alleviate his guilt about his "sins" - which is selfish in a complicated and roundabout way)
reserved: the superficial aspect of this is obvious: he's lying about his identity. but he's also reserved as part of his core character - according to him, he used to be reckless, quick to fight. I think his reserve is something he grew into, a willingness to play the long game, an understanding that information given can never be taken away. it leads to other things - a hesitance to trust, for example - but it's just a part of him now. I think even if he found someone to be 100% open with, he'd STILL be reserved by nature
arrogant: my man is an arrogant ass, no denying it. ofc he knows so much more about history than those around him, but he's also so willing to fight about it, to condescend, to trivialize. when he realizes he has a genuinely receptive audience his tone changes, so I think a lot of this stems from defensiveness and a deep familiarity with needing to justify his every expressed opinion, but... he's still an ass. his conversation with a dalish inquisitor at haven? yikes.
he's also regularly convinced that his interpretations are the correct ones. like wrt my recent post about the mages after Faded For Her, I have to assume that he thinks the inquisitor sparing them demonstrates disdain for the inherent value of spirits and their sentience, even if the real reason is a lot more complicated. he jumps to conclusions and states them like facts and it takes a lot for him to begin to deconstruct them
empathetic: this ties in with his kindness ofc, but its worth a unique mention. he is incredibly empathetic. he cares about what happens to people, to spirits, even to your enemies in a way - he talks with bull about how he doesn't like to relish his victories in combat because the people he kills could have been something else, someone else. he cares about wolves (I WONDER WHY... but also like, him being fen'harel doesn't mean he HAS to care about wolves, but he does, bc he cares about animals, too), he cares about the farmers being attacked by wolves, he cares about the refugees, he's understanding towards speaker anais and the cult that grew up around the rifts... he not only cares, he understands where people are coming from, regardless of who they are or how they behave
detached: this one lessens somewhat over the course of the game, but he's deeply, fundamentally detached to the world he woke up in and the people who inhabit it. its a little ironic when u look at his kindness and empathy, but it doesn't negate his detachment. i tend to think of him as seeing everything through a fog, feeling like he's not really there at least as much as he feels like everyone else is not really there.
not joking or exaggerating, he must have such terrible trouble with disassociation/derealization. ive seen people bring up excellent points wrt this that i dont feel a need to rehash, but suffice to say: while he still cares, everything he experiences is at a remove. this stems from shock, trauma, guilt, fear, and profound culture shock.
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Eddie: *overhears some girls gossiping about how Steve and Nancy got in a fight in an alley and the police got involved*
Eddie: *hears someone else say that Nancy Wheeler was taken to the police station*
Eddie: *sees Steve jumpy as hell with bruises on his face*
Eddie: *notices that Steve doesn’t talk to his friends anymore. notices that Steve and Nancy always seem miserable together. notices that only one of them is trying to please the other*
Eddie: *witnesses the halloween bathroom fight*
Eddie: *sees Steve confused, beat up, bruised to hell, and single the literal next time he sees him*
Eddie: *puts the pieces together and draws a conclusion*
Conclusion: *is wrong*
Eddie, accosting Steve at lunch: Hey, did you know that if a guy is getting hit by somebody that it’s abuse? Even if it’s a girl doing it.
Steve, confused: Oh-kay?
Steve, deciding that Eddie is reaching out to him for a reason and draws the same wrong conclusion about Eddie: I mean, yeah. That’s - yeah? That’s true. And messed up. You should tell someone if that’s, uh…going on.
Eddie: Yes, exactly. You should.
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