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Need Jack and Nico trying to convince her
“c’mon vi, don’t you wanna see your favourite devil in action?” nico asks with a grin, knowing jack and luke were gonna protest that statement
“okay, captain dimples, relax. we all know im her favourite devs player. right vi?” jack cuts in shoving nico lightly from their position on the couch as he leans closer to the computer screen
“sure jacky, you’re my favourite,” violet admits, looking at luke and sending him an exaggerated wink, causing the taller boy to smile slightly. god he missed her. even though he saw her at the detroit game only a few days ago.
he couldn’t describe to anyone what it was like, going from being with her 24/7 to seeing her maybe once a month, if he’s lucky. jack calls them out all the time for being “codependent” or wherever but if jack ever met a girl he wanted to spend more than one night with, he’d understand luke’s frustration.
even then, he’s not really sure jack would understand the extent of how much luke was missing her. they’ve known each other practically their entire lives and haven’t gone without seeing each other for more than three weeks max since grade 9. long distance fucking sucked, and he definitely wasn’t built for it. but he didn’t even feel like he could tell her that, because violet was a pro at just about anything she set her mind to, long distance included.
their phone calls were always filled with everything she’s been up to from classes, to dance, to coaching dance, to the big win the guys pulled off against ohio and the party afterwards. if she didn’t tell him that she missed him about 20 times during the call, he wouldn’t be able to tell that she does, probably because she’s so busy and she doesn’t even realize how much time passes before they see each other again. but luke’s busy too, and it still feels like forever for him.
sometimes it felt like she had this whole other life in michigan that he just wasn’t apart of anymore and you would think since this is their second year of long distance they would be at least a little used to it by now, but luke still gets chest pains just thinking about it.
“look guys I gotta go. I honestly don’t think I can swing it but I’ll think about it okay. just don’t get your hopes up,” violet says and all three guys nod
“even if you can’t swing the vancouver game, come to one of the home games soon then. s’a lot closer than van. i’ll fly you in myself, miss you,” jack mumbles, and violet smiles at him. her and jack had grown closer this past summer (if that was even possible) and she had missed him almost as much as her boyfriend these last few weeks.
“miss you too jacky,” violet replies and luke leans forward, reaching to grab the laptop and perching it on his lap so only he’s in the camera, despite the other two guys still sitting next to him
“okay baby. i’ll talk to you soon yeah? probably wednesday when we’re with quinn. i’m sure he’d love to say hi. i love you, get some rest,” luke says, heart squeezing when violet leans forward and kisses the camera
“miss you so much lu. and I love you so so much. i’ll text you tonight okay?” she greets, ending the call when luke nods in response.
“man I don’t know if I liked it more when you guys were oblivious to how in love you were or now that you’re so obvious about it,” jack states, fake gagging and their captain lets out a chuckle
“what was the story of you guys in high school and college anyway? i’ve heard a lot of things. . .” nico says and luke frowns at him
“heard a lot of things from who?” he asks, wondering whose been going around taking about his relationship.
“sheamo mostly. some of the guys have been asking him what you were like in college,” nico says and luke shrugs
“not much to tell really. we’re childhood friends, caught feelings, got together,” luke says and jack scoffs
“sure. you’re missing the 5 or 6 years where you guys were silently pining for one another just because you wouldn’t admit you had feelings,” jack says and luke sighs, rolling his eyes at his brother and getting up from the couch as jack begins to tell nico all the details he knows, not in the mood to stroll down memory lane on how long it took him and vi to pull their heads out of their asses.
“swear hockey players gossip more than the old ladies at grandmas weekly book club,” luke mutters, making his way to his room, planning to look at the calendar and arrange a time to fly his girl out.
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ribs — a rafe cameron series.
❝ In which, you did not think there was a way for you to ever come to love the beach, sea and the annoying sand that never seemed to leave you, but then again you did not think you'd ever meet let alone possibly associate yourself with someone like Rafe Cameron.
( or you hated the beach and all that came with it, but turns out this initially disappointing summer could be changed by the presence of one intriguing person. And the fact that his eyes were probably bluer than the ocean itself. Perhaps you could learn to mildly like it. )
pairing : richboy!rafe cameron x tourist/newbie!gn!reader, brief one-sided enemies to acquaintances to friends to lovers. genre : fluff, humour, angst, romance, friendship, coming of age, realisations and epiphanies, contemplations and questioning, summer seasonnn!! also ft. rest of the obx characters and ocs too! warnings : cussing, alcohol, drug-use but only for a brief while, mentions of fear of the ocean, slowburn-ish, non-canon ( does not follow the main plot at all but a bit of the relationship dramas- yeah. ), and more to be added as we progress! also ik the synopsis is...messy but pls i promise i will b making this as fun and equally an emotional roller coaster as possible!! series inspo : ribs by lorde. | series playlist : here
not sure if i should make a taglist but ig if you want to be tagged let me know ?
CHAPTER INDEX.
i. and the ocean is still the same. disgustingly blue and terrifyingly deep.
ii. and the way you act is very familiar. fake and just for others.
iii. to be announced !
( chapter names likely to be changed....)
a/n : so i pretty much gave into my brainrot again and welp this somehow sprouted from it. a rafe series. but imma be honest i've been feral for him since like the past two years....i am surprised now is when i write for him hahaha but yes here this is! i created a masterlist for this because im gonna make this split b/w some parts...hopefully finishing it up....but this time i have changed a lot of things and im gonna soo...chapter one will be presented to you in a few hours! enjoy this with me and i hope you like this ^^
all written works as well as images and edits (unless credited) belong to pri. do not plagiarise, repost, re-edit or claim as yours. pics mostly found on pinterest.
writingmeraki Ⓒ 2024
feedback is always appreciated 💌 ! links : main navi ! | misc masterlist | main masterlist | info !
#[ pri works ]#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron au#rafe cameron fluff#rafe cameron angst#rafe x reader#rafe angst#rafe cameron x female reader#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe x y/n#rafe x you#rafe x oc#rafe cameron outer banks#rafe outer banks#obx x reader#rafe fic#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron and you#rafe cameron and reader#rafe obx#outer banks#obx#obx 4#x gn reader
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okay so you know how it goes: fourteen comes to life in thirteen's clothes. and they're both too short and too loose and entirely too bright for his frame of mind. they worked with a doctor who hid everything behind a too wide smile; not so much with a doctor whose pain and tiredness is written across his face
he needs to change. obviously
and then the star beast starts, and fourteen leaves the tardis, and he's still in thirteen's clothes
he just. he doesn't know. how does he choose new clothes? he feels wrong. how will wearing something else change that?
(donna tells him that it's christmas, mate; it's bloody freezing. maybe wear longer trousers, yeah? also he's both too young and too old to wear braces. just a friendly note)
he doesn't have to explain who he is to the unit scientist, not with those clothes. instead he talks about how he doesn't understand why he looks like this. why he is this. why this face? why isn't he someone new?
actually. maybe he is someone new. was he ever this open before? hm
why do you look like that, sylvia hisses, trying to hide him from the daughter he destroyed ruined left
it's a lottery, he replies, purposely ignorant
he still has his thirteenth self's screwdriver. it's too small in his hands
(the whole time they were her, her hands were too small. she didn't like touching anyway, but whenever someone took her hand, it felt wrong. they were too small. sometimes it felt like if she worked fast enough, tinkered about without stopping, she wouldn't have to look at them)
everything goes wrong. his fault, like always
(blimey. of all the things to carry over from the first time he had this face, it had to be the guilt, didn't it?)
you shouldn't look like that, the doctordonna says, and he runs a hand down his face with a tired laugh
no, the doctordonna says, not the face. a hand reaches out to grasp at the collar of his shirt, at the dangling earring chain. this isn't you. who are you, doctor?
like he knows. like they've ever-
she dies.
she lives. he doesn't deserve it. it isn't about him. he still doesn't deserve it
we're letting it go, donna says, and he looks down at himself, at another him's clothes, another him's screwdriver
well, she never was subtle, his donna
the tardis is gorgeous, though when isn't she. he tries to show off his new console to donna, and she rolls her eyes, and drags him off to the wardrobe
unlike normally, where all the clothes are scattered about, the new tardis wardrobe now also has a line of wardrobes stood against the wall. fifteen of them, to be exact
the last wardrobe is open. and empty
he goes to the second to last, and opens it to reveal a wide array of rainbow patterned shirts. she probably would've hated for her things to be organised like this. always creating mess so she wouldn't have to think about anything important. he laughs. and he takes off the sky coloured coat and the worn boots and the earrings and gently places them inside. tag, he thinks, as he closes the doors
and then he moves down to the eleventh wardrobe, full of brown coats and blue suits and neatly pressed shirts and pairs of converse. and he stands in front of it. and he wonders
after a moment, donna's like wait do you want me to leave?? you never cared about nudity before, did you? and he's like oh actually i do feel more self conscious. huh. weird.
he doesn't have to say, i think i'm a different person. not to donna. she just gives him a smile, and a shoulder nudge, and tells him she'll see him in the console room
the last wardrobe is empty
he takes a breath, and then goes to rummage about in the rest of the clothes
#13 🤝 14 (🤝 12) -> dysphoria 😔#doctor who#the doctor#fourteen#my fanfic#i mean ig#the tardis is including war. and so am i#the fugitive doctor's clothes are around somewhere also#then he leaves the wardrobe and donna's like literally all you've done is change your colour palette#and he's like oi i've only been me for a few hours! give me time to get a fashion sense!#and she's like well how long were you your last face#and he's like idk. bout a century?#and she's like i saw your clothes before this. that one had decades & never found a sense of fashion so i'm not holding my breath with you.#it's the new year i've decided to write about things only i still care abt probably dsakjlaskjl#why isn't this a proper fic. because i can't be bothered. hope that helps#bye im gonna go make brownies
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#whether I make friends irl or online everyone always leaves#so what's the point in getting close to people at all#would love to have someone i can always talk to about anything even just my shows#especially since it takes me a while to get comfortable really talking to anyone and open up#but atp im tired of getting attached only to get ghosted out of nowhere#anyway ignore me#just feeling lowkey unwanted and unnecessary and like no one would care if i just disappeared#im making a bigger deal out of this than it is and being in my feels about it lol#should be used to it by now tbh but i am hurt#i think the worst part is not knowing why#like did i say or do smth why so suddenly just drop me#just a regular conversation and then no response - and i tried reaching out a few times after that#anyways i probably shouldn't care this much#but we've been talking for over a year and called each other friends and i got attached sue me#wtf is it about me that ppl always get bored or tired of me#gonna delete this#just in my feels
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I would say I have no explanation for this, but uh. I really do. Behold: the first ideas for a Terror IndyCar AU that has possessed me for the last 36 straight hours. It would not leave me alone until I put some of it to paper.
Behold: Crozier as an established, relatively liked, if cynical, driver, upstart rookie James Fitzjames, and Hickey, who is, as always, totally normal and not causing problems.
The art is rushed, but I needed to purge the demons as fast as I could
#i have never drawn hickey before. its not good but I'm tired.#as always my sketches look better than the final. it's fine. im not annoyed. not at all.#anyway. today? an AU nobody hut me ever asked for and debatably nobody else wants. tomorrow? the same.#thought i was clever for making Hickey's sponsor be a vodka company after Crozier gets sober#could Not come up with a suitable sponsor for JFJ. too tired.#in my head silna is a very competent canadian driver on crozier and jfj's team#goodsir is on the pit crew for silna most of the time. stanley is the lead mechanic#runs their shop like it's the goddamn navy and nobody ever knows if he's happy with things.#blanky is either a manager or the guy to talks to drivers on team radio during races#anyway if i ever do anything like this i plan to have crozier ultimately win a 4th 500#but only after james has a horrible crash that ends his season and many press people think will end his career#just so he can kiss francis at victory circle#look. i have very little to say for myself aside from the fact that i have been going to the indy 500 since i was 7 years old.#almost 20 years ago#and the IMS and indycar is very important to me. one of the few sports i care about and want to follow more.#so. uh. yeah. watch this space bc it will probably keep bothering me bc I Need It.#(also very silly but i tried to make crozier and james's drivers suits have shoulder shapes like epaulettes. i thought that was fun)#again sorry for the quality but i drew all of this in like 4 hours today. i am a woman Possessed.#anyway im gonna crawl back into my cringe hole. see y'all#the terror
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Hi im back . For some time
#.mimiming ❜#um . hi im gonna slee soon but i missed you all so much#umm first of all im trying to ccut down in screentime because my therapist told me to#second. after two or three months of convincing myself that i literally do not care im only going to school for just a few more days (onl#y today and wednesday) i literally do not care#i almost keep crying . because well um#idk. i was originally planning on cutting off contact with everyone#because of stuff thats happened before#but my friends. my current friends dont just treat me as a therapist or something so#also one of my wives would probably hunt me down and kill me if i tried to cut off contact#but ill still miss this stupid class and this stupid school and all the stupid teachers and students#and the horrible tasting canteen food#and the playground ive played in eight times total despite being here for 12 years#idk man#also because of my periods my mood swings were so much worse#and i just ..idk i needed a break ig#anyways im back for sometime then ill start looking for a job#me friend said maybe we can do something together#idk#you can always send me asks and dms tho 👍👍#im not really sure . like about anything right now#ill try to get the drawing requests done soon maybe#wild how time passes huh#god i need to stop acting like such a grownup im literally three years old
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1. it’s my 24th birthday today, so my goal of being published by the time i’m 25 is now a one year looming monster, but i never specified what kind of published and am currently looking in various literary magazines that are recommended for writers who have yet to be published, so i’m surprisingly confident that i can make it work? and tbh even if whatever i write isn’t officially published before my 25th birthday, if i have someone in the process of being published then i’ll be happy!! no matter what though, i’m gonna try to be proud of myself for at least giving it my best shot!!
2. i honestly love that my birthday is on the ides of march because the ides of march meme shitposting is only a thing on tumblr but it also being my birthday makes it easier to like. be excited about the ides of march outside of tumblr. like even in person i can be like “it’s my birthday! i’m an ides of march babe (:” and if someone is like oh what’s that? or if they say something along the lines of oh like julius caesar? i can be like yep!! and even if it’s a small thing outside of tumblr it brings me immense enjoyment and amusement being able to bring it up off of tumblr
3. transportation situation has been very rough since june 2023 when i totalled my car, my gap insurance are being assholes and i ended up putting my foot down on the phone with them yesterday which i’m pretty proud of because i am NOT a confrontational person (something i’ve been working on this past year, so seeing some improvement with my ability to hold my ground and not be a pushover yesterday was very cool!!) i was told i’d get a response from them by friday next week no matter what, and if i don’t then friday of next week i will continue to wreak havoc upon them. but my moms car which i’ve been using since my accident broke down yesterday, hopefully it’s fixable but my parents were saying it might be done for, so trying to think of how i’m gonna get to work next week is kind of stressing me out lmao, but for now i’m just gonna focus on enjoying my birthday the best i can because i don’t want to start off being 24 with an overwhelming anxiety for something that won’t be a potential issue until monday. plus i already messaged my boss today to let her know that i’m going to do everything i can to make it work out but just so she’s in the loop and knows of the potential of me not being able to make my morning shifts (one of my coworkers said she’s more than happy to give me a ride for our afternoon shifts which does help relieve some of the stress!) and i told her i’d let her know for sure sunday so that if necessary she can have time to figure out someone to fill in for me in the mornings!
overall: life is weird and i ended being 23 yesterday with a shitty situation but a positive outlook and i am going to enjoy my first day of being 24 no matter what because honestly i fucking earned it. happy friday everyone, i hope it’s a good day for you and me both!
#aritalks#i did cry a little bit when i first woke up because i dont really know what to do about work and also i hate not having a car i can use#not only because of the work aspect but also getting my license when i was 18 gave me a freedom i didn’t have before#and i don’t like having to rely on other people just to like go to the fucking store or something yk#but then my best friend/roommate messaged me happy birthday and i was like fuck it! today is going to be a good day!#the stressful uncertainties can wait until tomorrow#also one of my best friends who hasn’t said happy birthday to me the past two years#(not intentionally im p sure they were just busy on my birthdays the past two years#and then had that moment of ‘oh shit i didnt send a message fuck i think its too late now’ which i totally get bc anxiety things yk)#was one of the first people to message me happy birthday!!#i’m also hoping to still be able to go see my mom and then stay the night at my dads tonight#so i can see both my parents and also my baby siblings for my birthday#my dads working today but after he texted happy birthday i sent him a text asking if he thinks we could still make it work#my mom is asleep still i think (she called me at midnight and left a voicemail singing happy birthday!! but her sleep schedule has been all#over the place recently so i’m waiting until 11:30 to call her which is in like 30 mins)#but she said something yesterday about driving out to me to give me a hug and also bring me my diabetes stuff that got delivered#(her house is my mailing address because i know it’s not going to change bc it’s my great grandparents house that she’s partially inhereting#when my great grandpa dies but since i have moved out of my dads my address has changed twice and i didnt have a mailbox at my last place so#just for the sake of consistency and not having to worry about important shit getting sent to the wrong address i’ve had her house as my#mailing address since i moved out of my dads at 19)#so i think i’m gonna ask her if she can just pick me up instead so i can go to her house w her and hang out with her#and hopefully my dad will be able to at least stop by with my siblings so i can see them too#i’d like to stay the night with them but if we can’t make it happen then i can also stay the night w my mom and hopefully tomorrow figure#out the car situation. might have to rent a car for a week if i can afford it? best case scenario is my moms car can be fixed but i still#dont know whats wrong with it ik there are two potential problems and one is fixable the other is not#the fixable one would cost like $150-$400 to fix depending on if we get a used part or a new one#if its $150-$200 ish i can probably afford to pay for the whole thing or at least most of it#but if its more than that hopefully my dad or one of my family members can help#and i can just pay them back in like $50 increments with my next few paychecks#just realized i said i wouldnt worry abt the car thing today and also i think im at tag limit to i’ll stop now lmao xoxo gossip girl ❤️
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my toxic trait is I keep spending money even tho i JUST lost my full time job bc I just think "whatever I'll get another"
#tbh my main concern is actually ny insurance right now. my rent is shockingly cheap and ive been saving for a long time#specifically in case of an incident like this so i know i will be ok its just probably gonna be tight and is definitely a setback#but im really concerned about getting medicaid bc missouri is like very famously bad about#like. we were one of the only states that refused expansion under the ACA until a few years ago when we passed a referendum on it#like with flying fucking colors. not a close vote at all we decided to expand medicaid. and josh hawley threw a fit about it#and they refused to add any money to the health care budget until they were forced to comply basically#and a bit ago there was a whole big thing where they fucked some shit uo and purged thousands of people over night from the system#so these people just suddenly had no insurance. anyway wish me luck lmfao! with that or getting a job in Colorado which would also be cool
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oh no guys, I miss blurrbee,
#its scary bc i will look at my old drawings ive wanted to render of them and go. i could do that right now#(i cannot. i have other things to finish before i can even consider doing smth like that)#and also a part of me wants to go make the tag more active again#bc thats what happened the first time years ago when i got into blurrbee#and like. not gonna brag. kinda revived that scene and was like one of the only ppl posting it for a bit#and still only like rlly few other ppl that also posted it (but i also think i inspired several of them bc i was doing it)#and also..... i have my specific vision of blurrbee that i do not see other ppl capture and it makes me a bit crazy thinking#“WAIT. THERES PPL DONT KNOW ABT WOOLY BRANDED BLURRBEE WTF”#its a bit embarassing bc im probably coming off as possessive of a fictional ship with a blue car and a yellow car#but u gotta understand they are my special guys forever.... also i am the ceo of blurrbee sooooooooo#rando thoughtz
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aaaaaaand it's starting. mom's bestie just texted me asking to come over this weekend cause it's Bad and it's probably the last chance to talk and maybe say goodbye to my mom's husband and i need to take care of her. god. i wont get through this weekend unless im high or drunk istg.
#time to slightly overdose my depression meds again ig lol#anyway. it is a little better with me these last two weeks. turns out the meds do work when you actually take em regularly#but first my best friend's break up that she's blowing up to unimaginable size#acting as if she just got divorced with the love of her life after 20 years#and not ended a few months long relationship with a guy who's been the source of most of her troubles since the moment they started dating#(ofc she's valid and id never tell her that because like. i get it. some people feel stuff more deeply. but its hard to be supportive#when you genuinely feel like this is the best possible outcome for her and that the relationship was only dragging her down all this time)#and now this. and this is gonna be infinitely worse. and then it's gonna get a million times worse when he actually does die.#and i feel like the worst most selfish person ever which like. probably am. but i did tell my cousin who actually knows my mom really well#and she said she understands and that my fears ARE valid because SHE'S terrified of how she's gonna handle my mom#and she wouldn't wanna be me in that situation cause it's gonna be so much worse for me lmao#like i feel like people who know my mother casually really dont understand just how unhinged emotionally she is#anyway. i feel so overwhelmed. i cant handle this jesus.#but im also emotionally unavailable and refuse to actually confide in another person because i dont want to be a bother <3333#god i love tumblr. i can literally type anything in those tags lol it's the perfect form of venting since you can just scroll by#but i will still have let it out of myself anyway uwu i literally dont need that therapy fr#anyway. i feel so unbelievably fucking lonely and on one hand it's my own fault for withdrawing and refusing to ask for help.#but on the other hand. i AM alone. like there's no one who can help me in this particular situation.#i have no siblings. obviously my dad isnt gonna help. it all falls down to me. good god. i wanna throw up.
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IM CRYING IM BAWLING IM SOBBING (episode 12 of love live school idol punched me in the gut)
#crow talks#love live#HONOKA. KOTORI. WAHHHHHHHHHHH#they said “let's make this young boy realize that in this one part of his life he was just like honoka/kotori except he had only himself!”#AND IT WORKED.#i didn't think i would cry over love live but here i am crying. (i ramble abt how these girls hit me right in the feels)#it wasnt madoka levels (snot dripping and nonstop tears) just. tears bc of how much i understand both kotori and honoka's struggles.#i was literally kotori last year without an umi. i had to do it myself but it was too late and i never got a proper goodbye.#i was also honoka a few times. kind of. that feeling of a friend leaving you and how you feel it couldve been stopped if you simply paid--#more attention to your choices and the people around you. i understand that part too well. ive now learned to do better and pay attention--#to others and think over how my choices effect things in those around me but im still struggling. im still learning.#i dont knoww..... bushiroad just knows how to make me go 'wow i understand your struggles to a degree so concerning it makes me worried'#anyway time for me to watch ep 13 im probably not gonna cry
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#periodical life updates#lets hope this one goes better than the last one </3#anyway hi everyone. im in an entirely different timezone during this trip so its actually mid afternoon right now#thats not what this is about though this is about how im EXCITED FOR ARTFIGHT AS USUAL!!! lemmy posted his s/is and theyre so cute <3#also the theme reveal is coming on the 23! i hope its enough time for the theme templates? i love doing the theme templates with everyone :#this'll be my seventh year participating holy sht!! ive been doing this for seven (7) years!!!!!!!!#ive been feeling like ive been improving in art every artfight but idk how i'll fare this year. i feel like ive been a bit stagnant#and i did some PRETTY KILLER PIECES LAST YEAR;;; who knows if i'll top it; especially with summer college classes UGH#miserable about that btw. college my beloathed forever and ever amen. :/ ive been meaning to fix a few characters profiles and add some too#FINALLY going to separate kelly and jace! kelly is now the bureau of balance halfling only <3 ive been redrawing a new design of her :>#she has cute pointed ears now heho!! and actual more fantasy-esque clothes to fit her universe <3 jace is getting a separate profile!#jace is now solely my sona and i look SO much more gender now with the haircut and i can post my refs <33#i also want to post agent and icarus and all the javelins but that means i have to draw them actually hfjkh <33#i should also actually add something to shen's profile hfkjfh i care more about xer worldbuilding than xer character i feel </3#IVE BEEN MEANING TO GET QUEUE BACK UP but everytime i look at my drafts i feel so tired </3 theres ART i want to reblog!!!#ough. some other time. okay! im gonna get my artfight discord channel back up and running for the new artfight season! let's go let's go!#oh and i'll be sure to announce which team im joining obviously hdjfdh it'll probably be the lighthearted one <3#some of the themes this year are a little off? (stars vs nebula? heart vs soul? arent those the same thing?) but im hoping for the best <3#okay frfr going now! hope for queue soon maybe if i have time/energy! working on artfight! lets goooooo!! <3
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Another morning another day
I've been thinking a lot about going to the animal shelter
#speculation nation#there r many cats there and i have an aching spot available for one#passively thinking about getting a kitten. just bc id enjoy getting to raise a cat for once#and i think tally would be a good big sister given how much she groomed cassy#at the same time tho i wanna adopt a cat that might not otherwise be adopted so quickly. aka an adult cat#& also like with tally. i very purposefully picked out the loud black cat bc everyone was passing her up#but she was YELLINGGG at me from the cage. and i was like 'oh alright' and took her home#and now shes my sweet darling girl. she just needed like a year to chill out so she is no longer a chaos demon lmao#it's also hard to know what youre getting with a kitten. and it's a lot of resposibility. so like. idk.#but also. Kitten Cute... 🥺#i'll have to see what they have when i go there. still not happening for at least a few more days.#it feels too soon rn. but im thinking about this all to cope lol. i hate having only one cat.#i keep wanting to go out to greet Cat Number 2 in the living room. but. nope. so i go back to greet tally on my bed#she's a loving cat but she does Not like to be smothered. and im kind of smothering her lmao#that's another reason to get a 2nd cat. yes i want tally to have company when im gone at work#but also i need a second cat that is very affectionate bc I Want My Hugs And Kisses Dammit#idk when im getting his ashes back. probably somewhat soon. id estimate tomorrow? they were rly quick with sammy's#idk what im gonna do if they call while im at work lol. cry probably.#tho i havent cried in almost a full day!! been like 22 hours. i have been Trying to cope. mixed results.#ah well. c'est la vie and all that shit.#animal death ment/
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should i start reading russian avant-garde theater
#that's a trick question. all true diana britneyshakespeare fans know i don't consider your input on any matter whatsoever#tales from diana#as ive made quite a lot this summer out of reading all my old plays ive had for awhile#cracking open books ive had for years for the first time#ive decided that this week i shall breathe existence into avant garde drama: a casebook (1976) which i mustve bought at savers...#probably before the pandemic to be honest#for no particular reason im gonna start w yury olesha (his name anglicized here as yurii olyesha)'s 'the conspiracy of feelings'#i do like that title a lot#it's in the middle of the book#you know i'm very grateful to have basically no life again. for only the fact that it's allowed me to get a lot more reading done#i remember a few years ago when i started to emerge from my reclusion being like 'i havent finished a book in months'#not a problem anymore#but ive mainly been reading plays lately. but thats good bc ive always preferred plays over novels#i dont know (and i confess this shamefully) if ive ever read a play originally written in russian before#another book ive had for years that i bought at savers but still have yet to open is masterpieces of the russian drama vol. 1 (1961)#maybe ill have to open that one when im done w olyesha
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reading thru my old wips and finding the one where nate has to turn lucy and is like 100% sure it killed her and hes just sitting alone in their house w her corpse in the next room. like BROTHER....
#a few years after they get married and start poppin out kids lucy gets diagnosed w extremely aggressive brain cancer.#the twins are like 3 at this point. and theres treatment available but shes got like a 1% chance of surviving#and she and nate have their worst fight ever about it. which says a lot because neither of them are combative.#nate wants her to try treatment and only look into supernatural options as a very last resort#lucy is like 'if becoming a vampire ends up killing me i still dont want to spend the last months of my life sick and weak'#i think. probably adam takes her side in the end and convinces nate. and they go on a big family vacation together.#last hurrah if thats what its gonna have to be#and when they get back rebecca takes the kids and lucy and nate have sort of a last date night#and then he turns her. and i hc that because of her fucked up blood situation it takes a lot longer than normal.#and during that time her heart stops or drops to like. one beat every few minutes. slow enough that he cant hear/notice it.#i mean it works! im not strong enough to kill my ocs. hes sitting there curled up sobbing and she just walks out like 'hon im staving' HDJD#carly.txt#carly's ocs#oc: lucy
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everytime an artist i like is gonna perform in my state i go "i should go" (it helps that i like a lot of smaller artists so the one im looking at rn, tickets are 20 dollars and not ten billion) and then i immediately give up on the idea and then i have to tell myself that it is a sign of depression to not want to do anything ever and i have Got to Want to Do Things
#dream concert would probably be hozier or mitski but when they came around the tickets were over one hundo dollars#and i dont have that kind of money for such a thing#my other problem is that i dont want to go alone (mostly just because im scared) but i have no one to go with#the only person i am often around is my dad and it would be a little mortifying for my music taste to be known#man who gets really embarassed over his parents knowing even the simpliest things about him#not a simple thing and therefore not a good example but the last time i came out was like 7 years ago#and i came out as a lesbian........ soooooooooo#they have no idea i am a gay man#which is crazy to me because i think and talk about being gay everyday#but there is a really good chance my dad thinks i like girls#...shifts uncomfortably#but im not gonna tell him so what can you do#my mom has asked me a few times before what gender i liked and i just kind of awkwardly refused to answer#that is so embarassing. they cant know i have feelings. thats mortifying to me.#but anyways a better example would be that id be embarassed bringing up my favorite color#why this is. i have not a clue
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