#but it was about how eli and boone first (kind of) met!

[lelelego]

welcome to novac, stranger

[revisionaryhistory]

Three Days ~ 42

~*~Sebastian~*~

 Today has not been ideal.

Sure, my day started well enough. Emma laid out on the bar while I went down her was a very good way to begin. The sexy texts during her planning period was fun. Ed didn't threaten to kill me while we were texting. I got a text from Chace letting me know he'd be in town the week Emma was in Georgia. And I’m pretty confident talking to Emma tonight will be good. However, since the rest of my day has been shit, I'm a little worried.

 My train back into the city got stopped for who knows what reason. I was late getting to the gym. I wasn't the last to arrive and was in a good mood compared to others. The grocery didn't have the yogurt I wanted. Someone had either shit or vomited in the garbage can outside my building. I got stopped by a couple of fans, which isn't bad, but it was too close to my home. I don't care for that. Kirk didn't answer his phone and I remembered Will was out of town until tomorrow. I texted him asking if he could help me find something.

 All of this was trivial, but it was making me whiny.

 I think I miss her.

 Maybe not miss her, but like the letdown, after you've done something fun. Like the day you get back from vacation or post-concert depression. That's probably more accurate.

 No, I miss her.

 I said yes when the blonde drunk asked if she was my girlfriend. Probably should have checked with her first. I Googled "When is she your girlfriend" mostly because I was bored and whiny. This turned out to be like when you check your symptoms and hours later you still have cancer. There were lists. Thirty-two signs she's your girlfriend and seven she isn’t. You've met her friends. She cooks for you. You do activities together. She's met your family. You look forward to seeing her. All your time isn’t spent in bed. You enjoy talking to her. You can ask anything.

 Emma doesn’t know my friends, but I’m working on it. Also, found an incredible article that said you should have an idea by the seventh or eighth date. I started doing math. If every day is a date then were had eight dates. The next paragraph said, "But really it’s up to the couple."

 I realize this is me overthinking.

 I like the whole logical Google curated list of how to tell, but I think the best idea would be to have the relationship talk. Honestly, I don't have a problem having the relationship conversation. It’s just negotiating parts and deciding on a plot. Stalkers and people with relationship disorders have ruined "the talk" by inserting all sorts of shit into it. Bottom line: don't date other people and I get to call you my girlfriend. I know why I haven't brought up "the relationship." Because I've been too busy enjoying having one. Emma doesn't come across as someone who needs to define and label. It's not as if either of us hasn't been clear. I said it's not a long weekend thing. She said she was falling in love with me. Ok, not exactly those words. I may have added one. Doesn't change the facts or that it’s not just her.

Will texted back and I was going over to his place after the gym tomorrow. He sent something to the group chat with the guys and I laid on the couch going back and forth with them for a long time. Most of us were online, which happened more often than you might think. Anyone who wasn't would catch up later. This worked for us to keep up with each other's lives and tonight it was a fun distraction from my whiny assed mood.

 Group chat got a hasty "gotta run" when FaceTime lit up my screen. I hit connect and smiled. She looked fresh from a shower with wet hair and a clean face. She had on a purple tank top. "Your eyes look very green with that purple tank. Beautiful."

 "Thank you. You look tired."

I huffed out a breath, "Just a blah day. I’m kinda whiny. Seeing your pretty face is helping."

"Happy to help. What happened?" She shifted around and I could tell she was stretching out on her couch.

 I told her the multitude of little things that had gone on today, leaving out my frustration with no one being in town. "Nothing major. As I said, I’m being whiny. Plus, I think I miss you."

"I've noticed a distinct lack of you today as well."

 I laughed, "I like that. How was your day?"

Except for rambunctious children, she’d had a good day. I was glad. She had a good work out, her talk with Ed had been less inquisition and more fun, and volleyball practice had been short and turned into dinner with friends. They had a game Wednesday night and that was it.

 We laid on the couch talking about everything and nothing until I saw her yawn.

 ~*~*~

 I was in a much better mood in the morning. I got to the gym early and had run close to an hour before the others arrived. It was a heavy weight day and I felt strong throughout. When we were done, I was tired but felt good. I called Will on my way over and picked up some food. It was a little early for lunch, but we had some shit to do first. When Will answered the door I started laughing, "I'm so happy to see you."

"You too."

We hugged and I walked inside. Seeing him made me excited to talk about Emma. I'd talked to the guys at the gym, but a different level of friend. Very different. I wanted to tell someone important to me about how important I think she is. Being here is making me feel like I might explode. Why didn't I do this last week? I grabbed him for another hug, "So happy."

He laughed, "What the hell is going on?"

 "Do you have pictures from Kirk’s wedding?"

He scratched his head, "Some." We headed toward his desk where his computer was set up. I grabbed a chair from the dining table, pulling it over. "What are you looking for?"

"Not a what. A who." Will’s laugh confirmed I had a big smile on my face.

Will moved the mouse to wake the screen. "Kirk put everything on a web site. That might be better. I saved the link. My girl looked hot."

I was thinking I bet mine did too. I reached over Will for control of the mouse and clicked through the gallery. I was looking for Emma, but also Eli's long hair. First time I thought I saw her was standing next to Eli. The shot was from behind. If it was her, she had her hair pulled up with the loose ends hanging in ringlets. Her dress was dark green. Another dozen clicks and I found her. The front of her. She held a glass of champagne talking with Kirk and Boone. I took my hand from the mouse and pointed, "Her."

 Will pointed at her and looked at me, "Emma."

I mumbled, "Son of a bitch." I looked at my phone and saw she had about ten minutes left of her planning. I hit FaceTime and put the phone in front of both of us. Will looked confused. "Wait."

 Emma's face popped up and she said, "Hey, Sebastian." She saw it wasn't only me. She looked a little surprised then said, "Will?"

I fell onto the floor and yelled, "Mother fucker."

They were both laughing and I heard Emma's voice, "I haven't heard that from him before."

Will said, "It's a favorite. How did this..."

He was cut off by Alissa coming into the room and standing over me, "What's going on?" I watched her look at the screen, "Oh hey, Emma. Sorry I missed girl’s night last time. Will, are you introducing them?"

"No, I think they took care of it themselves."

They both knew her. I yelled, "Shit", and flopped onto my stomach.

 I heard Emma's voice again, "Is he having a temper tantrum?"

Will said, "No."

Alissa said, "Yes. Look." I was face down, but I assume she was showing Emma me. "Complete temper tantrum." Alissa’s phone rang, "I'll leave you to them. Next girl's night I'm there."

"Absolutely. Bye, Alissa."

 I was never going to get off this floor.

"My kids are due back. Sebastian, I'll talk to you later. Will, good luck with him."

I yelled, "Bye, Em."

Will kicked me, "Get up, dumbass."

 I crawled over to the couch, "How do you know her?"

"Oh no, no." Will joined me on the couch, "How do you know her?"

 I wasn’t arguing. It would be faster this way. "She lives up where mom moved. I got lost looking for chocolate chips at the grocery. She helped me find shit. I asked her out to dinner."

"Of course, you did. The lost in the grocery part." He was chuckling. "I'm surprised you asked out a complete stranger. Did she know you were you?"

 I shook my head, "Not until I introduced myself. Then she laughed."  Will did too. "She'd just come from the gym. Maybe some mascara, hair in a ponytail, and gym clothes. She was beautiful and so kind to this lost crazy guy. Then went spent like nine hours sitting in a restaurant talking."

 "Nine hours?" He shook his head, "Long time."

I glared at him, "Now, how do you know her?"

"I don't remember when I met her. It's been a long time. I'm sure it was a party or maybe one of Boone's gigs. She had a boyfriend. Then she didn't. She moved and hasn't been around as much. She always with Eli and his wife. I can't say I know her. She's always been nice and fun. Never heard anybody bitch about her. I think her boyfriend cheated."

I nodded as Alissa came back into the room. She spoke, "He cheated for months before she found out. Emma lived with Eli and Angie until she moved." She looked at me. "I've been out with her a bunch of times. She's a lot of fun. She’s kind, like you. I can see you two getting along."

"Why didn't either of you introduce us?"

 Alissa looked at Will then me, "She had a boyfriend and then she moved."

 Will added, "Several of us thought she was in a throuple with Eli and Angie."

I rolled my eyes and Alissa smacked the back of his head. "You did not."

"Yes, we did."

"You were wishing is more like it." She turned her attention back to me. "She wasn't."

"I know she wasn't."

 Alissa came to me and kissed my cheek, "I'm excited for both of you."

 Will stood and gave his wife a proper kiss, "I'II see you later, love you."

She smiled at him, "Love you too." She headed for the door, calling back, "Love you too, Seb."

"I love you." I watched the door close before looking back at Will. "I was going to be pissed if I'd done something stupid like saying no to being set up."

"I didn't. Maybe Kirk." I glared at him and he laughed. "Too bad you weren't at the wedding. She looked beautiful."

"Always does."

 "Oh, you've got it bad." I nodded. "Tell me all about her." He held his hand up waved in.

 I felt my smile forming, "I fucking adore her. She... ah..." I couldn't figure out where to start. "She has these green eyes and when she smiles she gets a dimple in her left cheek, just the one. Her hair is halfway down her back and feels like silk. The way she touches is delicate but strong. Sunday for over an hour she stroked my beard, just touching me. I would have let her do that forever, her fingers on my face." I tried to imitate on Will’s arm how she touches: the slow approach that becomes firm then eases away. "Something like that. We went to dinner, a walk by the river, she cooked dinner and we ate on her deck. We made Barbeque chicken sandwiches and this weekend she made biscuits and gravy for breakfast. We went to an art fair and got mom stained glass. I won a fish for her room. Did a haunted house and line dancing. Went to the gym, she helped mom moving stuff, and we had a Romanian dinner. This weekend was a volleyball tournament where her team kicked ass. The best part was she ignored me the whole game. I had to give her a good luck kiss between sets, but that’s it. She was all in the game. I loved that she ignored me."

 Will added, "So maybe she won't take it personally when you ignore her."

"Yes.” Exactly why I loved her ignoring me. “And we've stretched out on the couch reading or watching TV showing each other our favorites. Even danced to some ABBA."

 I’d just done some kind of core dump and I could see Will's head was swimming, "You're been busy. That’s a lot of shit. Why are you just telling me, this has been going on for weeks?"

"No, it hasn’t. I met her last Friday."

 “You’ve spent all your time the last two weekends getting to know her.” He was looking at me funny. “Wow.”

 “Wow?”

 "Yeah, wow.” He made faces moving his lips back and forth "I mean... I want to tell you you've known her eleven days, you need to be careful." He laughed and grabbed my arm. “But I don’t know what you need to be careful of. I don’t think Emma gives a shit who you are. I think she's connected to music somehow. I don't know who, but I remember Kirk talking about some concert and Emma being the one to hook you up if you needed tickets.”

 I knew exactly who the hookup was. I liked he was telling me to be careful. I let out a little laugh, "She doesn't care. She's curious about my job, but not in a weird voyeuristic way. I'm not even sure what movies she's seen."

 Will smiled, "What a weird conversation. How do you start it, even? Hey baby, I was wondering which of my movies you've seen? Maybe rank them in order."

 I cringed, "Might say more about her than me. I needed experience and money. What's her excuse for watching?" We shared a smile and I went on, "I get what you're saying. I appreciate it. I have only known her for eleven days. I’m ok. Hell, I'm a lot better than ok. It's really good. The talking, the sex, the feelings. It's all really good."

 Recognition flared on his face. "I want to tell you to be careful because you're jumping in headfirst and I don't want you, my friend, to get hurt."

 I don't get over relationships easy. Takes me awhile and with the help of friends. I hate seeing my friends hurting too. I put a hand on his shoulder, “Thank you." I shrugged, "At least I’m jumping in the deep end."

 "Right in the deep end."

 We moved to the table to eat and continue talking. I checked his schedule because he and Alissa joining in this weekend sounded fun. I'd told Emma I wanted her to meet my friends and since she, Alissa, and Angie knew each other this seemed natural.

 Emma didn't have practice tonight so we were on FaceTime earlier. She was walking away from the kitchen when she answered, "Done with your tantrum?"

 I held my thumb and forefinger an inch apart, "Just a little one."

 "I can't believe the Will in your stories is Alissa's husband Will. I replayed the memories while I was on the treadmill. Did he give me a good character reference?"

 Her giving me back my words made me warm, "Yeah, said you were kind, fun, and didn't give a shit who I was. Oh, and thinks you're connected to a musician because you got Kirk tickets to something. I didn't tell him who." I didn’t want her to think I would tell her secrets.

 "Thank you, but you can. Not worried about privacy issues around your friends. Pretty sure your address on eBay would make more money than Ed's. Everyone knows where his house is."

 I was startled, "How?"

 "Some guy put the GPS coordinates on Reddit complete with Google satellite pics. Google has since blurred out the images and the realtor scrubbed the listing.”

 "Nope," I was shaking my head, "no, no, no, no, no. What's somebody going to do, ring the bell and say, dude, wanna have a beer? How would anybody think that level of invasion of privacy is acceptable. Right up there with fans commenting hateful shit to my friends. Drives me fucking crazy. Used to. I called them out and now we keep a list and rank them. Still gets to me sometimes."

 Her eyes got big, "I'm going to start a list of the wildly inappropriate sexual comments when you post a picture on Instagram."

 I held up my hands and laughed, "You'll never be able to keep up. We both know I'm down for some dirty talk, but wow, they can make me blush. I barely skim comments anymore. I used to respond to some. I miss that, but the other got out of hand."

 "What do you mean?"

 "Whoever I responded to became a target like my friends."

 "That's crazy."

 "Exactly."

 "We used to celebrate when someone got a follow or response. I'm sure there was jealousy, just not so public. I think the more time with social media the more people have taken advantage of the anonymity to say things they'd never say to someone's face."

 I smirked, "Some say it in person." I’d fielded some pretty filthy propositions over the years.

 "You gotta shoot your shot. I’ve seen it work at festivals. Hell, even a sign in the first rows. I don't think some of them understood what they were getting themselves into. The hotel bar isn't where you get a date."

 "That's a grocery store!” I held my hands up like I’d scored a touchdown. Because I had. “Everyone knows the best place to pick up women is the grocery store baking aisle." At least it was for me.

 "I'd heard, but didn't believe until a couple of weekends ago." We took a few seconds to just took at each other before Emma spoke again, "I talked to Angie today. They're free Saturday. What do you think about inviting Alissa and Will?"

 "I was going to ask you about that. I know they're free."

 "I do too!"

 "Exactly how well do you two know each other?" I gave her a worried look and Emma responded as I wanted, with a smile that grew into a little laugh.

 "Not well at all. We've been out together several times, but we've never talked outside of them. Angie and I thought we could order in, hang out at their place."

 "Sounds good." I didn’t care what we did or where we did it. "Tell me about your day."

[revisionaryhistory]

Three Days ~ 51

~*~Sebastian~*~

I love stupid drinking games. One of the reasons Marvel press is fun is because of the dirt we have on each other from drunken nights and hours of waiting. Both result in otherwise inappropriate questions. This was just an organized version. When Boone said you never had fun with who you were sitting next to, I started counting people between and wrote a dare to make out with the person three people to your right.

Eli went first because it was his invention. Plus, since everyone did the never have I ever and could jump in with the truths, and the point wasn't to win, it didn't matter who went first. Straight in he pulls out, "Never have I ever had a threesome."

Me, Boone, Eli, and Alissa drink. I didn't know about Alissa. Will didn't drink, but he did laugh, "Bunch of whores."

Alissa shrugged, "Everyone experiments."

Kirk looked at her, "Not everyone. About half."

Emma was next, "Last movie that made you cry? Easy A Star is Born. I cried twice during. Sat threw the credits crying. Then absolutely sobbed in my car for another ten. Then went to see it again the next day and cried just as much."

Everyone shared theirs. Mine had been a month ago when ET was on late-night TV.

Alissa got two squares, so she got a question and a dare. Angry sex or makeup sex. Me, Eli, Kirk, Boone, and Emma were in for the angry sex. Alissa had to take off her bra and hang it from a light.

Boone had to share his worst sexual experience. That led to some funny shit. Eli had a woman throw up on his dick. He claimed the tour bus gave her motion sickness. Emma's was a guy who said his own name when he came. Mine was in the back seat of a car, missing a stroke when the cop banged on the window and thinking I’d broke my dick.

Angie pulled, "Never have I ever sent nudes." All of us drank. Will's truth was his virginity story. Kirk's ended in tears, but he wasn’t the one who cried.

I got a double color. Least favorite sex position and why. Sixty-nine because I can’t fully enjoy either and I wind up focusing more on my blow job and do a shitty job taking care of her. Emma's was reverse cowgirl because there's a problem with angle of entry and an unflattering view of her ass.

"There is no unflattering view of your ass." That just popped out.

Angie agreed with Emma, "She's right. Because in reverse cowgirl your ass is going to connect with his body and jiggle. Gravity works much better to smooth things out in doggy style."

Will smiled, "The jiggle is a feature, not a bug. But I do agree with the dangerous angles." All the straight men cringed.

My dare was to switch places with either person beside me, have the next person sit on my lap, with my hand on their inner thigh until my next turn. I ended up feeling up Angie in my lap. If I’d gone the other direction, I’d have Eli in my lap. My way was better.

Kirk read, "Never have I ever had phone sex."

Emma didn't drink, but she did glare at the woman in my lap. I raised an eyebrow, "Opposed or opportunity?"

She smiled as she said, "Opportunity."

I hummed, "You'll be in Georgia and I'll be in Canada next Sunday."

"I know."

"A lot of distance."

I started to say something about getting to be the teacher, but Angie swatted me and pointed a finger at Emma, "Any erection he gets is going to poke me in the ass, so stop what you’re doing."

You get the idea. Conversations about sex, preferences, and dislikes. Some basic shit with movies and music. Some good questions, so not so much. I learned Emma loves lazy morning sex, but not lazy evening sex. She learned I like it when she takes my hand because that's her wanting the contact. Everyone had to answer how many times they had sex in the last week. That wasn't fair. Not because I'm embarrassed by the number, but because it’s a lot to remember. I said, "Seven?"  Emma pointed up. "Eight?" She nodded.

Angie and Alissa exchanged a look, "No wonder her parts we still tingling the day after he left."

Will got a dare to explain in detail his last sexual experience, pick someone else to share, and then everyone had to vote. Wonder who he was going to pick? I prepared myself. Will and Alissa had a perfectly acceptable Thursday night with three position changes. She orgasmed during position two, switching to three to finish him. He told a good story that made his wife blush. He finished and looked at me. What did I say? I knew he’d picked me. Only he didn’t. He pointed to Emma.

Emma threaded her fingers together, turned her hands out, and cracked her knuckles.

What followed was a rather detailed accounting of our shower this morning. The physical part anyway. With just the physical description I realized just how much we talk during sex. I was filling that part in as she wove the story. Specifically, her asking if she should finish me and how her question nearly did. She didn’t share that part and her eyes darting to mine gave me a thrill.

As soon as she stopped talking everyone pointed at her, including Will. He nodded in my direction, “He alludes to a four-letter word starting with “W” and you’re blushing, but not one hint of pink from the erotic shower story?”

She took a sip of her drink, “I don’t like to lose.”

Angie raised her hand, “How did you not fall over? Showers are so slippery.”

Emma stood up and put her foot on the futon, “Tiled bench on the wall and a cut out shelf to hold onto to.”

I saw her put her hand on Eli’s shoulder and covered my face with my hands, “Somebody make her sit down.” I shook my head, “So fucking thankful Angie isn’t in my lap anymore.”

I heard Kirk laugh, “I think she’ll do fine with phone sex, Seb.”

His words got my attention. I dropped my hands, “Oh shit!”

A perfectly innocent question, “What’s your favorite thing about your birthday?”, took a turn. Angie had answered buying her favorite cupcake and two new ones from a bakery close to her school. Emma answered how it was her guilt-free day to be pampered and do whatever she wanted. Will smirked, “Birthday sex.”

Heads nodded with agreement. I shook my head, “Birthday sex means anal.”

Everyone laughed and Will shoved me. Hard.

Alissa crossed her arms over her chest, “Do not even act like that’s the only day you get it.”

Eli snorted, “I never get birthday sex.”

“You’re not getting non-birthday sex tonight either.” Beside me, Angie crossed her arms over her chest too.

I half expected Emma to cross her arms in solidarity.  I was struck with a drunken laughing fit. Others joined in.

Eli was not one of them, “How’s your birthday, Seb?”

“My birthday is in August.” See how I dodged the question.

Kirk started laughing so hard I thought he might piss himself. “Eli never gets birthday sex. Will has bonus birthday sex. I have lots of birthday sex.” He looked at me and pouted, “And poor Seb doesn’t know what he gets for his birthday.” He let out a very loud snort, “Straight people and anal.”

Emma pulled, “Pick a stripper or lap dance song.” I was fascinated by the way her eyes shifted from up and left to up and right and the way she chewed on her lip as she thought. She was thinking hard.

Eli elbowed her, “It’s not that hard of a question, Emeliana.”

She flipped him off, “Don’t Let Go, En Vogue.”

I have no idea what anyone else said. I was too busy finding the song on Spotify and creating a playlist. Will elbowed me. I looked up to see everyone looking at me. “Oh, not doing either. Naked is fine. Naked and dancing . . . nope. Too many body issues for that.”

Eli looked at me strangely, “Damn, if you’ve got body issues the rest of us are fucked.”

Emma smacked the back of his head, “You damn well know that outside and inside don’t necessarily match.”

He rubbed the back of his head, “Sorry. Fuck, that hurt.”

My text alert went off. It was from Will, who was sitting next to me. “Keep her.”

The questions and stories went on. The “game” ended when Eli reached the Candy Castle after skipping a big chunk of the board going through some sort of wormhole involving dots on spaces. I think he made it up.

We all did a celebratory shot and Emma pulled Angie off the couch, dropping down next to me. Alissa squished in between Emma and Will, so when we put our arms around the women, we brushed hands. Us, being us, we held hands for a few minutes. Long enough for Angie to take a picture and text it to Emma and Alissa.

I don’t even know how long we sat talking and sharing laughter. It was a good night. The kind of night you want to remember and never want to end. I would have never imagined a guy who’d dressed me over ten years ago on a TV show would be part of a couple who bridged my world and the world of a woman I met in a grocery store. A woman I adored more every day.

Everyone seemed to decide the party was over at the same time. We shared an Uber with Will and Alissa back over the Williamsburg bridge, dropping us off first. Inside the elevator Emma attacked me. Damn woman lacks self-control. I was going to wait until we got into my apartment. Instead, I found myself trapped in the corner, a hand on the back of my neck and one on my crotch. Sloppy, sloppy kisses were a preview of what was sure to be equally sloppy sex. We zig-zagged down the hall, fell through the door, and started shedding clothes on the way to my bedroom. She pushed me onto the bed and we fought with my jeans, laughing the whole time. Finally, we figured out my shoes had to come off first. I slapped at the nightstand drawer a few times before finding the handle and managed to get the condom on. Emma had much better luck with her shorts. I’d already pulled the drawstring on our way, so I gave her a head start. She straddled my hips and sank down on me.

I groaned loudly, “You feel so fucking good.”

Emma’s fingers pressed into my stomach, “You too.”

I used my thumb on her clit while she rode me. At least, I think I did. I was in the general vicinity. Precision with fine motor skills is one of the first things that go for me. I tried. It felt good, but I wasn’t getting any closer to an orgasm. I held onto her hips and rolled us over. Luckily, it only took two or three strokes to realize I wasn’t inside her anymore. We laughed as I got us back on track. A lot of groping and messy kisses later I pulled out and rolled onto my back. I looked over at her, “This isn’t gonna happen for me.”

She convulsed with a laugh, “Me either.”

While we laughed, I took her hand and held it against my stomach. “I don’t think you’re a real couple until you’ve had a sex failure.”

“And I have no confetti to throw.”  That started us laughing again. “Hey, your dick’s not broken and nobody yelled their own name, well, any name.”

“It could be worse.” I let go of her hand, lifting my arm for her to cuddle up. “Let’s go to sleep and forget this ever happened.”

“Not a chance.” She kissed my chest.

I pulled my head back and glared at her, “I don’t like you anymore.”

Emma kissed me very softly, “Yes, you do.”

I smiled, “Yeah, I do.”

~*~*~

About seven I sprang up in bed finding it hard to breathe. Night terror. Emma was sleeping soundly and I didn’t want to wake her. I picked my underwear off the floor and went to the other room. I sat in my favorite chair, focusing on my breathing to pull myself out of this. The racing heart and hyperventilating had me feeling dizzy and with numb extremities. Middle of the night panic is the worst. If I’m awake I can usually catch it quickly and do what I need to manage. In the middle of the night, I’m a couple of steps behind. Takes a little longer to calm down. When I left the calm place I visualize and opened my eyes I was better. The panic had passed as it always does. It would take a little while for the adrenaline to metabolize. I padded quietly to the bathroom, not wanting her to wake up and see me like this, to brush my teeth and wipe away the sweat. Back to the kitchen, I grabbed the biggest bottle of water I had. My journal was in the office. I swung by for it before heading back to my chair. My rule for this is to just write. Thinking or trying to figure out what was going on never worked. I would look back later, but for right now it was just stream of consciousness.

I heard Emma in the bathroom about an hour later. Putting my journal on the coffee table, I turned in the chair to be able to see her. When I’d gone to the bathroom, I’d moved our discarded clothes to the bedroom. She must have found them because she was in my shirt. Talk about something to put an instant smile on my face. I reached out a hand for her, “Good morning.”

“Morning.” Emma took my hand, letting me lead her to sit on my lap. She pressed her lips to mine before laying her head on my shoulder. “I missed your warmth.”

Kissing her head, I hugged her closer and made an instant decision to tell her. “I’ve been up for a while. Had a night terror. Fucking hate waking up in that panic.” Now, as I say it aloud, I realize even more than the panic, I hate feeling weak and out of control.

Emma lifted her head, her green eyes meeting mine with soft concern. She ran her fingers from my temple, around my ear, down my neck, over my beard, and finally to rest on my chest. “What do you need to take care of you?”

I smiled and kissed her. Fuck. I should have woken her up because the last ten seconds had done more to calm me than everything I’d done in the last hour. “I’m ok. Meditated, water, journaling.” I pointed to my journal.

“Any luck identifying the trigger?”

I shook my head, “Na, just wrote. I see my therapist on Thursday. She’ll tell me.”

She laughed, “Will she? Mine won’t tell me anything.” She imitated a voice I didn’t know, “I’m here to help you find your answers, not give you mine.”

“Good point.” I kissed the bare slope of shoulder not covered by my shirt.

“It’s been years, but I remember the after felt like bugs crawling through my veins. And the shaking.”

I held out my hand, watching the slightest tremor, “Not so bad.” Her fingers laced with mine, steadying more than my hand.

“Why don’t you go for a run and burn it off?”

“Thought about it, but didn’t want you to wake up to a note and think something was wrong. Too much to write out.” The thought of her thinking this had anything to do with her was enough to get my heart racing again.

“If there’s a next time, I’ll know.”

I like that she didn’t automatically tell me she wouldn’t have wondered.

Before I could voice my thought, her hand was on my face and she kissed me, “Seriously, Bastien, go for a run.” She nodded toward the door.

“And leave you here?”

“I will be right here when you get back.”

There’s a comforting thought. “Ok.” A run sounded good. Usually, I’d head to the gym early and hit something cardio and I’d be back to normal before the rest of the guys got there. She stood up and took my spot when I went to put on some clothes. I pulled my running shoes out of the closet and sat on the couch to tie them. “I won’t be too long.”

“Take as long as you need. I’ll shower. Maybe switch around some of your drawers and cabinets.”

“Sounds good, enjoy yourself.  Still want me to show you around today?”

“Absolutely.” She put her hand over her stomach, “You’re going to have to feed me.”

“I can do that.” I kissed her and headed out the door.

I put in my earbuds, cranked up the music, and just ran.

[revisionaryhistory]

Three Days ~ 31

Catch up on AO3

EMMA

What a crazy fucking weekend.

I watched Sebastian walk through the doors before I drove off. I was barely back on the main road when the weight of the time together really hit me. We shoved a lot into a short period of time, but the short period of time wasn’t that short. Total of four days. Four days isn’t that long to get to know someone, unless during those four days you were apart for maybe ten hours. Two before dinner and eight after. We weren’t apart from Saturday at eleven until just now. Three full days, minus him leaving equals sixty-eight hours of an uninterrupted time, add in fifteen minutes at the grocery and nine and a half for dinner. Now were at seventy-seven hours and forty-five minutes together. I have no idea why I did this math. Usually when you’ve known someone for four days you’ve hung out, talked on the phone, did a few things. We didn’t do that. We spent seventy-eight hours together. Barely any of it sleeping. The problem, which isn’t much of a problem, is trying to accept how I'm feeling about Sebastian after four days and seventy-eight hours sound like more time, which makes the difficulty saying goodbye make sense.

I need to talk to my best friend. My drive isn't nearly long enough. I told my vehicle to call Angie and waited for her to pick up.

"My favorite person!"

I smiled at the sound of her voice, "Even on a long weekend Tuesday morning?" Those are almost worse than Mondays. The short week being the only redeeming quality.

"Always." We both laughed. "I'm dog assed tired. We didn't leave Eli's parents until late. There were too many one last songs. How was your weekend?"

"Apparently it was the weekend for visiting parents. I met a man who was up here helping his parents move."

The excitement in her voice was clear, "Did you? I want to hear absolutely everything. Wait, is this a good meet or a bad meet? I still want details, but need to be prepared."

"Ang, he is incredible. I... he's incredible. It was such a good weekend. I want to flop down on my bed kicking and screaming. He is sweet, funny, and we talked for hours and hours. We had so much fun. And that was before the sex. Parts of my body are still tingling. When I get home my sheets are going to smell like him." I took a shuddering breath. Wow, it felt good to get that out.

"Holy shit!" Angie's laugh was pretty close to the best part of my day and I’d had a really good day. "You're gushing over this man. I can’t wait to hear everything. Why didn't you call me last night?"

"Because I only just dropped him off at the train station."

"Explains your still tingling parts."

Yes, it does. Meet up on FaceTime about four?"

"Sounds good."

We hung up and I felt like I could make it through the day without exploding. There is something about a new romance, especially when it comes out of nowhere, that fills you with so much energy. It's fun and exciting. I walked into school with a ridiculous grin and an idea.

I had to work fast. My kids would be coming soon. I ducked into Mallory's room on the way to mine, "Hey, can you come help me for a minute?"

"Sure. Right behind you."

Mallory was a fifth grade teacher. She would definitely corroborate that age were smart asses, but she liked smart asses. We'd started the same year and became friends going through all the orientation and training stuff together. Mal had clued me in on the gossipy teacher I'd gone out with a few times. I would not have been the first story he'd told.

Mallory caught up to me, "Everything ok? I missed you yesterday."

We were good friends, but not good enough for me to tell her about Sebastian before talking to Angie. "Yeah, I was enjoying the long weekend and wasn't ready to be social."

"I hear you. Felt like a work pot luck."

My day had been much better. "I laid around all day." Truth. We walked into my room and I sat my stuff down, handing my phone off to Mallory. "I want a new picture for my final newsletters. Wanted to get it before all this white got dirty."

Mallory took my offered phone, "You look really pretty."

"Thank you." I wanted a very first grade teacher picture. I went to the bookcase in front of our nearly full word wall. I held one hand out like I was showing off our year, which I was, but I was showcasing the words baby, blue, and boy. She took a few pics, I gave her a quick hug, and told her I'd see her at lunch. I took a couple of close up selfies before sending the full body one to Sebastian with a text saying, "Ready for the week."

I got back, "Damn..."

My kids started arriving and it was lunch before I checked my phone. I had a two word message this time, "Closer, please." I picked the selfie I thought he'd like best and sent it before heading to the teacher's lounge for lunch.

It would be after school before I heard from him again.

Sebastian ~ So pretty

Emma ~ Glad you think so. TY

Sebastian ~ Posting something on IG. Not creepy to follow now.

Emma ~ We're past the creepy zone?

Sebastian ~ More or less. My thoughts about a first grade teacher are more inappropriate than creepy.

Emma ~ Completely different.

Sebastian ~ Good day?

Emma ~ Very! Heading home. You?

Sebastian ~ Meeting with manager. Tell you all about later. Safe drive home.

Emma ~ TTFN

I headed home, skipping my usual trip to the gym. Volleyball practice could count. I was out on my deck with a glass of iced tea when Angie called right before four.

"Start at the beginning."

I went through how we met, dinner, and the festival on Saturday. The falling asleep on the couch got us laughing.

"He sounds adorable, Emma. Tell me about him. Where's he live?  What’s he do?”

Angie knew all about Ed and she was married to a musician, so I wasn't concerned about her reaction to him being a celebrity.

"He's tall and works out. His body his amazing. Gorgeous blue eyes, brown hair with just a little wave, and a beard. His lips ... his smile lights up his face and he has crinkles at the corners of his eyes. He's gorgeous."

"Of course, he is."

The slight sarcasm in her voice wasn't doubting what I said, but the level.

"You think it's the sex haze." We call the tendency to find someone more attractive if the sex is good being caught in the sex haze. It will blur a lot of faults. "Except he is objectively gorgeous. Want to see a picture?"

"You bitch! You should have led with a picture."

I laughed, "No, I shouldn't have." I sent her the silly picture with the bear from the festival. "I wanted you to hear about him before knowing who he is."

Her eyebrows pulled down, "Who he is?" I heard her text notification and watched her face go from confused to wide eyed, "Holy fuck, Em! That's Sebastian Stan."

"I didn't recognize him until we were outside the grocery. I started laughing." I told her about him not wanting to be anything more than a guy on a date and our conversation about Ed. I could see the disbelief on her face. I didn't talk about Ed. "I thought it would make things easier."

"Yeah, yeah, I get it. It's just weird how you meet this famous actor, but aren't all that impressed because your second dad is in Pearl Jam. It's like some weird fate thing. Ed's not going to be happy."

I laughed loudly, "Oh, he’ll fucking hate it."

I told Angie the rest of the story, leaving out some of the more personal bits. When I finished we sat silent for a minute.

Angie smiled, "What do you need from me? You already know the complications that come with being famous. Not particularly stable relationships, paps, and fans. He doesn't sound like a paranoid narcissist, which is a bonus."

I nodded. I did know the pluses and minuses. "I don't need anything really." I took a deep breath, "I needed to talk to someone who wouldn't give a fuck about who he is. My dopamine levels have got to be astronomical. I like him. It started in the grocery, when I realized he was lost and not a rehab patient. There was something about him, how he felt. I immediately wanted to know him and the more I got to know the more I wanted to be with him." I paused, smiled and shook my head a little. "There was this connection. It's comfortable and exciting at the same time. I know it doesn't make sense, but it makes perfect sense. He just feels right."

Angie let the fingers over her lips fall away, "Em, if any one deserves someone, something wonderful it’s you." We shared a smile. "When are you going to see him again?"

"This weekend. He’s coming up for the volleyball tournament." Just thinking about seeing him made me grin.

"Hey," Angie's eyes lit up, "I think Eli met him." She picked up her Macbook and started walking. "A party or something." I could see she was in her living room. "Hey babe, didn't you meet Sebastian Stan?"

I couldn't see him, but recognized Eli's voice, "Who are you talking to?"

I yelled, "Hi, Eli!

His face came into view as Angie sat next to him, "Hi, Em. Shit, are you two fangirling over a Marvel movie?"

I said no at the same time Angie said yes.

Eli rolled his eyes at us. A frequent occurrence when we were all together. Still, he answered. "A couple of times. He's infuriatingly better looking in person."

"What's he like?" Angie, not me.

Eli looked between us before answering, "Nice guy. Funny as hell when he's drunk and they start talking shit. Boone's husband, Kirk, worked on Gossip Girl. Seb's been to gig, a couple of parties. He was filming something and couldn't come to the wedding, but he was at the bachelor party."

Angie shoved him, "Where were we at these parties?"

He looked at her like she was crazy, "You could have been there. No one pays any attention to him. If anything, he tries to blend in. He’s kind of an introvert. And really, would either of you recognized him before Civil War?"

Angie smirked, "One of us wouldn't recognize him if she ran into him."

Eli narrowed his eyes at her then looked at me, "What have you done, Emiliana?"

I waved my hands around in front of me, "Why am I getting the dad voice?"

More eye rolling, "What have you done?"

I rolled my eyes right back at him. "I went to the grocery and there was this guy in a baseball cap and hoodie cursing and talking to himself in the baking aisle. Turns out he was Sebastian Stan."

Eli snickered, "Sounds like him." Angie put her phone in front of him. I could see the wheels in his head spinning. "You would never ask for a selfie. Hook ups don’t include photos. You went on a date."

I raised my eyebrows.

Eli copied me, "You're dating him."

"It would seem so."

"And I’m providing a character reference?"

I shook my head, vehemently, "No. I was having a teenage girl moment calling my best friend to rave about the new guy and she remembered you'd met him. I promised not to Google." They stared at me, "I want to get to know him not research. Fuck knows I don't want him to find me on Google."

I guess Eli could till the last bit shook me, "Em, he would never know where to look."

I shook myself out of the mood, "Yeah, so no, I'm not wanting details on him. He’s a good guy. He’s sweet, good to his mom, was nothing but respectful to me. He’s good to me.”  These were my best friends. “I know he partied too much for a while and there was an ugly breakup where they fought in public, said some mean shit. I don't want information unless you need to wave me off."

Eli frowned and shook his head, "I wouldn’t ask your permission to wave you off."

"I love you too, Eli."