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#but it’s a government job (parks!!) so it’s like new hires usually start in late spring/early summer
antiquesintheattic · 3 months
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ok the time has now come for going back to my old job and begging them to let me start the seasonal position early… there’s like a 0 percent chance that my old boss is gonna be there though cause it’s a weekend lol so i don’t really know what i’m hoping to get out of this but we’ll see
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alarawriting · 4 years
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52 Project #4: Rand Mart
All I wanted to do was buy a gallon of milk, a loaf of bread, and ham. But I’d been to four cash registers already, and no one had been willing to ring me up yet.
The first cashier – a girl with dyed black hair, a tattoo of a dove on her cheek, and nose and tongue piercings – informed me that she’d ring up my bread, but she was morally opposed to the consumption of animal products, so the conscience clause permitted her to refuse to ring up my milk and ham. The dark-skinned woman with a red dot on her forehead, at the next cash register, would ring up my ham and bread, but told me that the American milk industry was unconscionably cruel to cows, who were beloved in the eyes of Brahma. The woman with the light blue scarf around her mouth, nose and hair, at the third register, was willing to ring up the bread and milk, but thought that pigs were unclean and their meat banned by the Prophet. And the fourth cashier, a bearded man with a yarmulke, wouldn’t ring up any of my goods, because it was Saturday.
There was a self-service lane, of course, but it wrapped around the entire cash register area with about forty people queued up in it because no one wanted to go to a cashier-operated register. I’d thought that the fact that so few people were lined up at the registers meant that I’d get through the line quickly. I should have known better.
There were two other cash registers open. On one, a painfully thin woman was haranguing a slightly overweight woman over her choice of sodas. “High fructose corn syrup is pure poison!” she was shouting. “It’s murder! If I let you buy those Sprites I might as well be putting a gun to your head!” At the last cashier-operated register, the clean-cut young man behind the counter was ringing everyone up for all their products… as long as they accepted Christ as their personal lord and savior.
Screw this. I abandoned my groceries in one of the many, many baskets set outside the cash registers for exactly that purpose. The baskets were overflowing. I wondered how the supermarkets made any money anymore.
And then I did what I’d sworn I’d never do again. I got in my car, and I drove to Rand Mart.
***
Rand Mart was infamous for being a terrible employer. It abused its employees, forcing them to work unpaid overtime, failing to give them health care coverage, busted any attempt to unionize, and fired them for absenteeism if they were ever sick at all. I wouldn’t have been caught dead there under any other circumstances. But I wasn’t willing to lie my way into the Christian-only grocery stores, and the service at the secular grocery store was getting steadily worse.
Ever since the Conscience Clause Laws, created originally to allow pharmacists to get out of filling prescriptions for drugs whose purposes their religions disapproved of, were expanded by Supreme Court decision to allow any person to refuse any duty in the course of their work, provided that they had a “heartfelt moral objection” to performing it… more and more people were discovering the joys of sticking it to their employers (and customers) by developing heartfelt moral objections to any number of things. Their employers weren’t allowed to fire them for it, either.
Originally it had been based on religion, until the vegans sued, claiming that just because their belief that meat was murder was not based on the teachings of a god, it was no less heartfelt or moral. The Supremes bought that, deciding that when the Founding Fathers said that Congress should establish no religion, which had been extended to Congress not infringing on any religion, that any heartfelt moral belief counted as a religion for the purposes of not being infringed on, because it wasn’t the business of the law to decide what was and was not a religion.
Corporations weren’t allowed to practice religious discrimination in hiring unless their own heartfelt moral beliefs would be compromised. So the Christian-only stores could get away with hiring only Christians – which had made them very, very popular lately, even though they’d only let Christians shop there, because most Americans are Christian at least in name and most Christians didn’t have a religious objection to selling anyone anything, as long as it couldn’t be used to allow women to enjoy sex without guilt. But a secular store couldn’t demand that its employees actually do their jobs, because no one had a heartfelt moral belief that employees should do work, apparently.
Except for Rand Mart.
Rand Mart had successfully won the right to discriminate against any employee of any religion who wouldn’t do their job on the grounds that their heartfelt moral belief was Objectivism. They believed (heartfeltedly and morally, it seemed) that the government should not interfere in contractual matters between employee and employer, or consumer and vendor, and that therefore they had the right to sign their employees to contracts that stated that they accepted the inability to raise a religious objection to anything as a condition of employment, and make it stick. They used the Hobby Lobby case as precedent along with the Conscience Clause decision to prove that a corporation had the rights to adhere to the heartfelt moral beliefs of its owners even if doing so trampled on the rights of its employees.
As a result, you could get absolutely anything at Rand Mart that they felt they’d make money on selling to you, and no one could raise any sort of objection. Guns? Sure! The Second Amendment and the Conscience Clause meant that they didn’t have to do background checks, because that was government interference with their relationship with their customer, and they believed they shouldn’t have to abide by that rule. Abortifacients? You betcha! They weren’t the only ones – sex shops frequently invoked their heartfelt belief in the right of all humans to sexual pleasure and control over their own bodies to sell things like birth control, Plan B, and actual abortion drugs, without prescriptions, and no one could really stop them because they had the names of everyone who’d ever used a credit card to buy sex merchandise, which included most of the fine, upstanding citizens who tended to protest abortion clinics. But Rand Mart was the one you would go to if you didn’t want to walk through displays of lingerie and dildos to get the pill. Marijuana? Rand Mart didn’t believe in anti-drug laws, and while they were sane enough not to provoke the government on stuff like meth and heroin, they sold weed quite openly, and the Feds were more likely to bust a legal California grower of the medical grade stuff than Rand Mart.
Obviously, given their willingness to sell such culturally controversial stuff, you could get any of the basics at Rand-Mart as well, and none of their employees were allowed to refuse to sell to you. So I drove over there, because I really, really wanted my bread, ham and milk.
As usual, Rand Mart’s parking lot was a zoo. True confession time: this wasn’t the first time I’d been driven to have to go to the place. Every time I went here I swore I’d never do it again, and while my abhorrence of their treatment of employees was one reason, the behavior of the other customers was another. Pedestrians were everywhere, because why should they have to follow rules like the presence of crosswalk markings to make life convenient for drivers? They had the right to walk and they were going to walk, dammit. This, of course, made the drivers of the other cars frustrated, and when you considered how tiny the parking spots were and how quickly they got snapped up, you had frustrated, angry drivers rapidly turning into slavering, starving beasts who’d savage each other for a parking spot. Road rage deaths were not unheard of in Rand Mart parking lots, including incidents where folks used their brand new Rand Mart guns to put a hole in a fellow shopper for fender bender accidents caused by overeagerness to take a parking spot. I parked all the way out at the end of the lot and walked, careful to avoid the cars who were taking out their aggression against the thick clouds of pedestrians in front of the store by nearly running down the ones walking to or from their cars.
The way Rand Mart is laid out, you have to walk through an entire aisle of really cheap impulse buys and sales items before you can even get into the store proper. Then the groceries are all the way on the other side. Shoppers inside Rand Mart are every bit as considerate as the ones outside, which is to say, I had to dodge a lot of folks who were walking straight at me as if I wasn’t even there, or as if they wanted to play Store Aisle Chicken. I was really, really glad I needed so few things and didn’t need to push a cart, because there were so many endcaps and stands of merchandise and random pallets of restock that I couldn’t see how a cart could get through half the aisles.
I plugged my metaphorical ears to the siren song of really cheap electronics, and really cheap DVDs, and really cheap winter jackets, and really cheap kitchen appliances. (I’m a bachelor. I don’t really cook. I do, however, make a lot of use of rice cookers, and toaster ovens, and single-serve coffee machines, and I own lots and lots of other kitchen appliances that promise to pretty much make my food for me, despite which I still never use the damned things.) In what seemed like a long and peril-fraught journey, but was actually probably about three or four minutes, I got to the grocery aisles and started looking for the stuff I’d come for.
And then I ran into Emily. Wearing a Rand Mart uniform, and stocking yogurt cups onto the shelves.
Emily used to be my manager. I work in IT, where the controversies are few; as long as we don’t hire any Amish dudes, we’re not likely to get saddled with deadweight. However, the hours are long, and Emily decided she wanted a new career that would let her spend more time with her young son, so last I’d heard, she’d opened a day care. Considering that this was Saturday, I supposed it wasn’t beyond the realm of possibility that this was her second job, but Rand Mart was infamous for giving their front line employees really egregiously varying schedules with totally inconsistent amounts and times for hours, so they weren’t generally compatible with having, or being, a second job. “Hey, Emily!” I said. “How’s life been treating you?”
“Oh, hey, Brad. You’re looking pretty stressed. They giving you a hard time at work?”
“Oh, no, no, I’m just stressed because I had to come to this place,” I said. “Six cashiers at the Allfood, and none of them willing to ring up a simple purchase of ham, milk and bread.”
“Don’t I know it,” Emily said. “The other day I was in Curtains and More with my son, just trying to get him some new bedsheets, and they practically threw me out of the store because I wasn’t wearing a wedding ring. I told them I don’t wear it because my circulation’s not great and my fingers swell up, but they didn’t believe me. I had to show them my wedding picture in my wallet before I could buy a damned thing, because they thought I was an unwed mother, and that’s sinful. Do you know every single employee in that place is a pregnant woman?”
“What, do they fire them if they’re not pregnant?”
“The owner’s into some odd Christian sect where you’re supposed to have as many babies for the Lord as possible. So I guess they’re not always pregnant, but they’re always either pregnant, on maternity leave, or they’ve got a little baby. It’s crazy.”
Her story reminded me that I needed to get cups for my coffee machine, and that as far as I knew coffee wasn’t against anyone’s religion. Maybe I’d drop by Curtains and More myself. I was a single guy without any kids, so I figured I wouldn’t run into the problems Emily had. “Are they one of those places where you have to be Christian to get in?”
“Oh, no, no. That’s what tripped me up; I was completely not expecting to run into an issue like that. They looked secular.”
“So why’re you working here at Rand Mart anyway? Still doing the daycare thing?”
She shook her head sadly. “No… I couldn’t keep it going. I hired a couple of extra workers, trying to expand – you know, the state’s very strict about how many children you can have per working adult. Well, it turned out that one of them had a strong Christian belief in ‘spare the rod, spoil the child.’ Apparently it’s a central tenet of her religion that you have to beat kids.”
“Oh my god. Really?”
“Yup. Obviously I couldn’t let her anywhere near the kids – she made it clear that if she saw them engaging in bad behavior, she had to follow her moral beliefs on how to ‘train them up’, rather than my instructions. Well, I could have lost my license for allowing any corporal punishment at all on my premises, so I couldn’t let her anywhere near the kids, but I couldn’t fire her, because Conscience Clause. So I had her running errands, but what I really had needed was someone to watch kids. Without being able to take on the extra kids that her watching them would have allowed me to take, I couldn’t afford her salary.”
I shook my head. “Unreal.”
“I managed to eventually fire her for taking too long to run her errands, but I had to document it for months so she couldn’t claim it was an illegal termination on religious grounds. By then it was too late – I was too far into the red to recover. I had to declare bankruptcy. I couldn’t get hired back into IT management because I guess making a sudden shift into running a day care made me look flaky? Or out of touch, anyway. So, you know, I’m still looking, but I’ve got to pay the bills, so…” She shrugged. “Here I am.”
“That sucks. I’ll check the internal postings, see if there are any openings at the company. I’m sure they’d love to have you back.”
“That’d be great,” she said. “But listen, I gotta finish this and clock my task completion time so they don’t dock me for excessive inefficiency.”
“Oh, yeah, I understand. I gotta find my groceries, myself. See you around!”
“Sure, see you,” she said, and went back to unpacking yogurts, this time pulling them out of the box in stacks of three and shoving them onto the shelf as fast as she could go.
Once I had my groceries and I was checking out, I ran into my old friend Ryan, who was working the cash register. “Ryan! You’re working at Rand Mart too?”
“Sad but true,” he said.
“Thought you were working at that hipster coffee place.”
“Went out of business last month,” Ryan said regretfully. “We hired this one guy who would not stop aggressively proselytizing to the customers, and people just felt really uncomfortable ordering coffee from someone who kept insisting that they embrace the Lord. The owner tried to keep him in the back, but you know, small coffee joint. There’s not much to do that isn’t in the front, customer facing… he’d do unloading and garbage runs but the rest of the time there was nothing for him to do but work out front.”
“Yeah, I just heard about my old manager’s day care folding because she hired the wrong person.”
“It’s bad, all right,” Ryan said. “The small businesses can’t take it, and even the bigger ones are starting to feel it. That’ll be $15.99.”
For a pound of deli ham, a loaf of bread, and a gallon of milk? I goggled at the receipt, glad I hadn’t tried to get the coffee single-serving cups here. Well, Rand Mart never pretended to have the lowest prices on groceries; they’ll just sell you anything you want without a hassle, and that’s enough of a draw that they can charge out the wazoo. That and all the cheap impulse buy stuff creating the illusion that the store’s prices were overall low. “You guys are definitely cleaning up on it though,” I said as I swiped my credit card.
Ryan snorted. “I’m out of here first chance I get. There’s a new burger joint down the road, Charley’s. I put in an application there and we’ll see where it goes.”
“Is that one of those places where you have to wear flair?”
“Naah, flair is corporate now. They do have all the kitschy plastic toys all over the ceiling though.”
“I’ll have to check them out.” Maybe today. A burger sounded good. I was getting kind of hungry.
As I walked out of Rand Mart, I swore to myself that this time, this time, I wasn’t coming back.
***
Charley’s was a low-key kind of place, dark wooden beams and light brown wallpaper showing great sports stars from the entire 20th and 21st centuries, despite which it was actually not a sports bar. It was rare to find a burger joint that was neither excessively corporate, nor did it have 25 television screens showing different subchannels of ESPN. Their menu said they were all about the social experience, implying to me that one lone dude like me was probably not their target customer. On the other hand I’ll do a lot to avoid the black attention sucking hole that is large television screens with no sound. I’m not into sports nearly enough to want to see Ukrainian men’s field hockey or whatever ridiculous crap they show on ESPN17, and especially not enough to want to see it with the sound off and no captions.
I was pleasantly surprised by how fast my server collected my drink order and came back with my Coke. She was a cute brunette with curly hair. “I’d like to get a Works Cheeseburger, hold the spinach,” I said.
She shook her head. “I’m sorry, sir, I can’t do that.”
I blinked at her. “Are you out? I don’t have to have all the toppings—“
“No, I mean, a cheeseburger isn’t kosher, so I can’t put that order in for you. Sorry.”
Oh, not this again. “Come on. You’re working on Saturday. You can put in a cheeseburger order.”
“No, I really can’t. I have to work on Saturday because I need the hours, but I do keep kosher.”
I sighed. “Can you get me a different server, then? I came here to get a cheeseburger.”
“I could get you a cheese veggieburger… the tofu ones taste really authentic.”
“No. I want a cheeseburger. Made of beef, and cheese. Are there any other servers who’ll take my order?”
“I’m sorry, I can’t refer you to any of my colleagues,” she said. “If it was just a matter of you preferring a different server, that’d be one thing, but I can’t get a different server for you when I know that I’m enabling you to get a cheeseburger.”
“Okay, I’m not going to order a cheeseburger, but I don’t like you and your sanctimonious attitude, so just go get me a different server because I don’t like you.”
“No, sir, I know you’re lying and you really are going to order a cheeseburger if I do that.”
I glared at her. “Look, I know enough about Judaism to know that you don’t need to enforce the kosher laws on non-Jews, so what justification do you have for not letting me order a cheeseburger? Don’t the kosher laws just apply to Jews?”
“Yes, but I can tell you’re actually Jewish.”
I blinked. “No, I’m not.”
“Well, of course you’d say that, sir, since you don’t keep kosher and you don’t keep the Sabbath, but I know a Jewish man when I see one.”
I had a roommate who was Jewish once, and that was the full extent of my connection to Judaism. “Look, I’m not. Really. I’m allowed to eat a cheeseburger.”
“I sincerely believe that you probably are, and you’re lying to me because you want a cheeseburger.”
So I gave her two bucks for the Coke, which was $1.99, and told her to keep the change. If she was hungry enough to take Saturday hours despite being dedicated enough to her faith to enforce kosher on non-Jewish customers, maybe a spate of 1 cent tips would persuade her to let customers order a cheeseburger in a goddamn burger joint. Or maybe they’d cause her to quit. What the heck was someone with a religious objection to cheeseburgers doing working in a burger joint anyway? I bet she wouldn’t have let me get a bacon burger either.
To be honest, I was pretty sure she was enforcing kosher laws on a non-Jew because she could. Used to be that every store treated its employees more or less the same way Rand Mart does. Long hours, low wages, and if you didn’t take the customer’s abuse with a big smile, you could lose your job, no matter how unreasonable the demands. Nowadays, the hours were longer and the wages were lower – businesses couldn’t stay in business with all the deadweight they were forced to carry if they didn’t exploit the hell out of their workers – but employees could get away with nearly anything if they expressed a heartfelt belief. In fact, I’d read an advice article online that suggested that as soon as you got a job in retail, you should come up with some religious reason to deny a customer something, because then if they tried to fire you for anything else, you could sue them on the grounds that it was retaliation against you exercising your First Amendment rights.
Dammit, I was really, really not in the mood for McDonalds’ or something. The last time I’d tried to go through a drive-thru, I’d found out that the fry cook on shift that day disapproved of the high carbon footprint left by cars, and was refusing to allow any of the fries to go out via the drive-thru. Plus, I’d really wanted a good burger. Rand-Mart had one of those snack bars that they have at places like Target, but I was pretty sure their burgers were at best a single step in quality above McDonald’s, if not the same or worse.
I decided to go to Anomie. Their food wasn’t the best, but the good thing was, you put in your order through an electronic kiosk, swiped your card, and people you never saw in the back, who never saw you, would take whatever orders they felt they could morally accept. Then the food would be slid to you through a numbered slot, kind of like the idea behind the old Automat. You never had to see a single person that worked there.
***
After a mediocre cheeseburger I managed to obtain without interacting with a single human being, I felt somewhat up to going and getting my coffee. It’d be cheapest at the grocery store, but I wasn’t going to go back there if I could help it – even though I was pretty sure none of the cashiers I’d run into would actually prevent me from getting coffee, except maybe the Sprite Is Poison lady, I still didn’t feel like paying any of those people’s wages. So I decided to try Curtains and More. If they weren’t the kind of store that would try to check my religion before letting me in, what was the worst that could happen?
Ten minutes later I was standing in front of a security guard who was saying “I’m sorry, sir,” while blocking my entrance to the store. “You can’t go in there.”
I stared at him. “Why not?”
“Well, you’re a man, sir. Men aren’t allowed in Curtains and More.”
“…My friend just was here and she never told me men aren’t allowed. She brought in her son.”
“Boys under the age of 10 are allowed, but men aren’t. Our corporate policy at Curtains and More is that men and women shouldn’t mingle socially, so they shouldn’t shop at the same stores.”
“So is there another curtains store that just sells to men?”
“I wouldn’t know, sir. I don’t make the rule.”
“But you’re a man.”
“Yeah, I have to stand out here all day. I’m not actually allowed in the building.”
“So how do you punch your time card?”
“There’s an app for that. I have to do it with my cell phone.” He sighed. “Kind of dumb, if you ask me, but what’re you going to do?”
“Shop somewhere else, I guess.” I shook my head. “I thought these folks were Christians.”
“They are, but they’re some weird sect that thinks men and women shouldn’t see each other unless they’re family.”
“And that women should be pregnant all the time?”
“Didn’t know that, but I’ve seen employees go in through the side door, and yeah, most of them are pregnant. Is that why?”
“That’s what I heard,” I said glumly. “Why do they let women in and not men, I wonder? Most of these kinds of places discriminate against women, not men.”
“I don’t know, but I don’t have to turn too many guys away. I guess men don’t shop for curtains as much.”
“Guess not.” It was as good an explanation as any. “I’m gonna have to go back to Rand Mart, aren’t I?”
���I hear they’ve got a pretty good selection,” the security guard said.
***
I figured I’d probably end up back at Rand Mart, but I had to at least try to avoid it, so I tried a few other coffee places; most coffee places sell pods for coffee machines, after all.
I tried Starbucks, and walked right back out as I heard the cashier refusing to serve unbelievers. I didn’t even know what they were unbelieving in, and I didn’t care. The Dunkin Donuts was run by someone who professed a sincere and heartfelt belief that children should work in the family business, and I didn’t want to be served by an eight-year-old again. There was a hipster coffee joint, but they wouldn’t let me in because my belt looked like it might be made of real leather, and they believed strongly in veganism. I considered leaving my belt in the car, but then my pants might fall down in the coffee shop, and I wasn’t risking that. Besides, people like that might give me some song and dance about single-serve coffee pods being terrible for the environment, or something.
And that was how I found myself going back to Rand Mart, about an hour after declaring I was never going back again.
I passed a group of employees on smoke break on my way in. They were holding “HOMELESS AND HUNGRY – PLEASE HELP” signs. I gave one of them a five. For all I knew my friends might be there next month.
Then I dodged around an excessively aggressive cart return guy pushing a conga line of wheeled death, and slipped into the store. I was beginning to come to the conclusion that no matter how many times I vowed I’d never come back here, I’d never be able to keep that promise.
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erikismybitch · 5 years
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Waiting In Vain : Chapter 16
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Bad Day.
Months had passed by. And the duo’s relationship had only went up from the beginning. Marley was surprised that she was not tired of Erik, there was never even a point where she wanted to be away from him. Of course they both had to live their separate lives , but being together was euphoric . Marley had never felt quite like this before , even with other man that she loved . This felt different.
Yes, she knew that it was love .
That’s what she told him, and even though he hadn’t said it back yet , she felt content . Marley couldnt hold how she felt about him in . She had to let him know she loved him one night , while there were laying on her couch . “We good , Marley” was all he said . He just held her tight until she fell sleep in his arms.
Erik showed her how much he cared for her every day. Flowers because it was Wednesday , foot massages when she was tired . Food whenever she was hungry and he even helped her find a new job . Marley was no longer faced with irritable complaints from consumers over the net . And no more slaving for the drunk men down at the bar with Becky.
Marley was now a proud employee at Steinway. Steinway was a global company . A trusted billion dollar business who created technology that controled security systems for some of the worlds most prestigious places . Mass museums, federal reserve, and most of all, protected government agencies .
Marley had a degree , but her major in Liberal arts she knew, would not get her in the door. Erik made her apply anyway .
“They might not even know they need you, always go for the job you think you won’t get” He encouraged her one night , while eating those famous tacos and watching Game of Thrones.
One resume, an exceptional cover letter written by Erik, and two interviews later...Marley was hired to assist the head of public relations. Her duty was only to serve the person who protected the brand of the company . Marley had been there for a while now, and was making a good amount of money.
It was her birthday on this day. She never made a big deal about it . Marley hadn’t had a party since her mom died . So to her , it was just another day . Most people in her life didn’t know when it was, just the few who were close to her . Becky knew and called her early in the morning with a long drawn out version of the birthday song . In the past , Tiana and her aunt didn’t even acknowledge her birthday. Trey would always buy her something expensive, but nothing memorable or noteworthy.
Erik knew that it was her birthday. Of course he was away for work, or whatever he did . Erik admitted... or hinted that his job wasn’t exactly what he told her before . She didn’t press him, but at times she questioned if what he did was legal . The gun was still in his dresser . “It’s not necessarily illegal” he’d toy with her mind whenever she asked him . She was no stranger to crime, seeing as Trey was the poster child for that . But he wasn’t as secretive as Erik . Nor was he as well paid .
Marley hadn’t talked to him all day . After numerous attempts at calling him, she figured he was busy . Until it came to the end of her work day . Her stress level was through the roof , constantly staring at her cellphone. Hoping that the next notification would be from Erik. That’s all she wanted . No party, no gifts , just Him.
Marley had received a birthday card signed by most of the employees . She knew it probably was company policy, but she was thankful . Marley had been there a little under two months , so most people didn’t know her well . To who she assumed was the head of the employee committee, walked by and wished her happy birthday . Marley had just finished typing the notes from the meetings her boss had. It was almost five , and she was off at four thirty .
The days leading up to her birthday were always filled with anxiety . She knew she would cry , she cried on her birthday every year . From loneliness, feeling like she was aging and yet so far behind in life . Most of all, she cried because it was another year without her mom. All day she had been fighting back her tears with fake thoughts of being happy . It was working, for now but she knew that eventually she would break . Becky begged Marley to come to the bar around seven that night . Before the sports crowd packed the bar . Becky wanted to give her gift before her work shift . Marley figured she’d eat fatty bar food and take a few shot alone. Or with some of her old co-workers. Ones who actually knew her and would be semi-genuine .
Since she was leaving later than usual, she was in a rush . The Steinway building was half an hour from her apartment . With traffic she would get home around six, that didn’t give her much time to get ready . Marley logged out of her work computer , gathered her belongings and rushed the halls to the elevator. She dashed through lobby to get to her car . Her phone buzzed in her hand , excitedly she glanced at it , praying that it was Erik . Marley didn’t even see the burly white guy walking towards her . She ran right into him and almost fell to the ground . He seemed to be in a rush much like her . All Marley could see was the back of his red slick hair and the flag of the Netherlands on his arm. Marley knew that because her old college roommate was from the Netherlands and had a flag on her side of the wall .
“Excuse you, fucking jackass!” Marley shouted . The rude guy was already outside of the building. Being the only black women in the lobby, everyone’s eyes were drawn to her already . Even more now since she shouted. She wanted badly to yell at them too for not addressing the man who almost knocked her down .
But , it was her birthday. She had some place to be.
She made it to her car , but she was still boiling with anger . Especially after she gave calling Erik one more shot . He didn’t pick up. “Fuck it!” She screamed , then punched her steering wheel . It honked abruptly, scaring an old woman who was walking by. A groan escaped her lips and she rested her head on the seat . She took a breath, the lump in her throat wanted for her to cry badly . Her lip trembled . Marley missed her mom right now , more than ever . She would make it better . Probably go fight the man who knocked her baby down. Marley laughed at the thought of it . Of those people thought Marley’s outburst was bad , they probably couldn’t have handled her moms .
Marley got herself home, late but it was nothing she could do about it now . She got ready to go to the bar , nothing special but she was cute enough. Her phone buzzed when she walked out of the door . It was nothing but a message from Team Snapchat , probably wishing her happy birthday . She giggled a little because that happened every year . Marley didnt bother to call Erik again, him not answering would only make her more upset.
She made it to the bar . A few cars were parked in the lot. The lights werent on. The windows were tinted but there was a small window space at the top of the building where light would shine through . Which wasn’t odd . Marley had worked shifts when the bar opened late . It was a family owned business and sometimes they were unprofessional and opened when they wanted to . Customers still came though . Marley would even get paid under the table some weeks , so they could avoid tax issues and healthcare costs .
She yanked on the door. It wouldnt budge , it was locked . She knocked on the door hard and announced that it was her.
“I’m coming!”
Becky’s voice rang through the closed door . Marley could hear the tampering of the lock . Becky opened the door wide , exposing the few co-workers who were waiting for Marley to come inside.
“Surprise!” They all shouted at the same time. She couldn’t believe it. A party, for her? She was important enough for them to go out of their way and do this. Becky walked towards her , holding a small chocolate cake with lit candles .
“Chocolate, my favorite, thanks guys!” Marley Jared chocolate cake, but she wouldnt tell them that . Everyone looked so pleased .
“Please don’t cry” Becky playfully rolled her eyes at her friend . Who seemed to be getting emotional
“It’s just-“ Marley began to speak, but got choked up . Her voice shook . She didn’t want to cry in front of everybody, so she quickly sucked it up with a deep breath. Becky couldnt help but laugh . She took her into her arms and hugged her . “I just hate my birthday, that’s all”
Not being able to cry was killing her . She looked around at everyone , overwhelmed at everything . Surrounded by people, she still felt alone . Nobody who loved her was there . Yes , these people cared but not in the way Marley needed .
“Do you want us to stop this ?” One of the other co-workers asked . He could tell by the look on her face that something was off. Marley shook her head quickly
“No, I’m thankful for everything” Marley put forth effort to place a smile on her face.
Marley took the time to hug everyone and thank them individually. They all started off with a shot of dark and they sang the birthday song to her . Which was always awkward. Then Becky did her renditioned version of the birthday song , where she twerked across the bar to brighten the mood .
Marley made a wish in her head, something she thought was so silly . When she was a teen she always wished that her mom would magically come back from the dead . Now that she was older , she knew it was impossible . But she still made that same wish . Then she wondered , if she could do two . There were no actually birthday rules because all of it is fake... right? She thought about something that would make her happy . Erik. He was real . And she wished that he would remain that way . Marley blew out the candles and they cheered .
“I’m sorry he’s not here” it was as if Becky could read her mind “And I had no way to tell him , I figured he would be with you” Marley ignored her. She gave Marley a small gift box , with a bow on top . It was from her . She opened it right away .
“No you didn’t” she said quietly. It was a pair of AirPods . She had just told Becky that she wanted a pair but didn’t want to spend the money on them. The fact that she was such an attentive friend really meant a lot to Marley . She could not stop hugging her .
“Tonight is not about him, it’s your birthday” Becky didn’t want the absence of Erik to ruin her special day.
“What if he’s dead?” Now Marley was being dramatic . Becky raised her eyebrows, she figured Erik couldn’t make it because of work stuff . Not anything this serious . “I haven’t heard from him all day”
“Doubt that” Becky casually handed Marley an envelope with a card inside . She figured it was a card from the bar staff.
“But still, this is not like him” she managed to rip it open while holding eye contact .
“He’ll call “
Marley pulled the card out if it’s envelope. Shockingly it was from Trey . She looked at Becky who was purposely avoiding eye contact . A few twenty dollar bills slipped from the inside before she caught them in her hand. They had not spoken since that last week of her living in the hotel . And when she found out about his child , she was completely done . “Trey came by before you got here, he wanted to catch you but I told him it wasn’t a good idea” Becky aligned a few shot glasses on the bar and filled them with Tequila . That always got Marley drunk , and her plan was to get her friend wasted .
Happy birthday beautiful
I miss you , call me.
He had hand written those simple words in the card. Along with some passage about how important the birthday person was. Marley skimmed through it, then slipped the twenties in her purse and put the card in the trash .
“No thank you” Marley spoke just how she would if Trey was actually standing there .
It took Becky pouring six shots to get Marley to finally stop checking her phone . And then seven shots to make her start talking about Erik. He always left the toilet seat up and in the middle of the night she would fall in. No matter how many times she told him not to, he would always forget . He always thought he was right , and could never admit that he had gotten something wrong . Marley was not the type of person who yearned for the last word . And it didn’t kill her if she didn’t get her point across. Not even knowing that it was what made them a match . He snored loudly when he slept, so if Marley didn’t fall first ... there would be no sleep . Then when he woke up , he never ate breakfast. Which freaked Marley out because she couldn’t function without breakfast each morning . Marley started to drag on about how much he worked out and perfected over his body . But at the same token, he’d scarf down a whole family sized meal of carbs . She was about to rant about his messy home but Becky stopped her . Even Becky couldn’t help but think about how Marley felt when she talked about her husband .
Becky had listened for long enough , the bar was now open to the public and she had to work . “Sounds to me like you guys have no real problems” she slapped the bar counter twice , Marleys head flew back .
“What!” She slurred, then swayed to the sound of Sicko Mode playing from the bars speakers . Drunk was exactly what she was now.
“Don’t sweat the small stuff , Erik is all you have... besides me of course”
Marley pondered on that statement for a while . She seemed to get lost into the view of her feet for a long time . The floor was spinning, she held on to the bar stool so she wouldn’t fall . She blinked a few times to try and sober up , it didn’t work well enough. Then , she got back to thinking about what Becky said . How Erik was all she had . Marley looked up to ask her what she meant by it, but Becky had walked away . Marley figured she had been out of it for a while . She was uncomfortably drunk , and really needed to go home .
Everyone was back working , and she didn’t have the strength or good balance to say thank you to everyone again . Maybe she’d send out a mass text in the morning, or maybe she wouldn’t. Marley just needed to leave. She snuck out of the bar . Becky would have stopped her from leaving if she saw her . Refusing to allow her to drive home drunk. Marley just knew that if she drove really slow, she’d make it .
So she sat in her car , took a deep breath and started the ignition . Thanking god that she lived close enough . Even though she knew god was not happy about what she was doing . Marley pulled out of her parking space slowly and made her way on to the street . She was doing great at pretending to be sober . Until she couldn’t , swerving in other lanes and unnecessarily pumping her breaks with caution. Tonight would have been a great night for the police to pull her over and actually do their job. They were probably harassing innocent people Marley thought, Insted of handling true crimes ... like the one Marley was committing in this moment .
She made it home safely , by nothing but pure luck . Her car was crooked , and slightly crossing the line of her neighbors spot . Marley would deal with it in the morning. Her apartment light was on. Since she was intoxicated , she didn’t see this as cautionary. Struggling with getting the key in the door, she managed to let herself in . It wasn’t until after she closed the door and began walking towards her room , that she seen Erik sitting on her couch . He stood up , holding a bouquet of flowers . Marley stepped back with her mouth wide open.
“Happy birthday baby” he smiled and walked towards her . She wanted to speak . She wanted to yell at him for not being there all day . She wanted to ask him how he had gotten inside of her apartment. But as soon as she felt his strong arms wrap around her ... she finally let out the cry that she had been holding in all day . Marley’s tears seeped into the arm of his shirt . He let her cry . “You had a bad day?” He asked her calmly. He felt Marleys head nod . The hand that was flower free rubbed against her back . He was trying his best to calm her down.
“I hate my birthday” her voice cracked , tugging on Erik’s soft side .
“I got you , and I’m gonna take care of you”
He pushed away from her , allowing the space between them . He kissed her forehead twice , then took a chance on her lips . “Wanna talk about it?”
Marley drew away from him and walked to the kitchen for a paper towel . She released with a deep sigh and giggled shortly.
“Nah” she wiped hers tear stained face then tossed it in the trash . Erik told her that he lost his phone this morning , and couldn’t find time to get another one today .
“How did you get in here?” They settled down on the couch. Close enough for Marley’s left thigh to wrap around his lap . She faced him .
“I’m from the projects . Breaking in to shit is like a right of passage” he admitted, nonchalantly he massaged her thigh.
“You broke in my house” she stated what was obvious, there was no reason for her to be upset . She knew Erik to be a man that did whatever he wanted to do.
“Ain’t nothing I can’t get into” he observed her for a second , she rested her head against the couch . Her eyes fidgety and unable to focus on one thing . “You drove home drunk like this ?” He asked , seemingly worried about her .
“I see you do it all the time” her fingers toyed with his dreads . He was so cute to her when he got serious. He was cute to her when he did anything honestly.
“Yeah but you ain’t me”
“The hypocrisy!” She shouted in dramatic form.
“So you using big the words tonight”
“Hypocrisy is not a big word, you’re just from the projects” Marley braced herself for his rebuttal, she knew he would have a comeback to match her witt.
“Don’t forget who helped you write that letter to get you that job. A nigga from the projects”
“You right , daddy” she gave in, even though they were only joking .
“I know I’m fucking right”
Marley rubbed her thumbs against his cheeks and moved in closer to him . “Just a minute ago , I was crying my eyes out” she mumbled , so close to his lips that he could feel her words . She kissed him , sweet and soft . “Make sure I never cry on my birthday again”
“That’s a lot of pressure” Erik told her .
“Can you handle it?” She toyed with him but Marley was being completely serious.
“I can handle you”
Erik yawned , and like clockwork Marley yawned too . It was contagious. Somehow his position changed to him laying completely on his back . Marley beside him still, one leg wrapped around his waist . They liked it that way . No matter where they were , they always came back here . Erik thought Marley had eventually fallen asleep, on account of her hard breathing . Until she spoke again.
“All you got me was flowers?” She thought back to when she first cake in. Marley eyed the beautiful bouquet on her coffee table . He busted out laughing , so hard that Marley had to laugh too .
“I was waiting for that question”
“So answer it then”
“I got you shoes”
“Where they at?” She pouted like a bratty child . Erik kissed his teeth .
“Where the birthday sex at?” He asked , as if she owed him and it was his birthday.
“I’m too tired , how about birthday morning sex?”
“I’ll give you your shoes after that” he rubbed her butt gently , in hopes to turn her on . It just made her more comfortable with the idea of sleep .
“I’m not a prostitute” she yawned again .
“You’re my prostitute”
“You know I am” she boasted proudly .
“The best one I got” he yawned too .
“The thickest one too”
“You such a bad bitch”
“Good night Erik , I love you”
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shearssheep47-blog · 4 years
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Hunting Com Objects
Top 10 Factors To Come To Be A Security Guard
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Content
Professional Driving Ability
Whizrt: Substitute Smart Cybersecurity Red Team
Add Your Get In Touch With Info The Proper Way
Security Vs. Presence
If you actually desire the task, an unenthusiastic answer that makes the job interviewer wonder. You wish to offer some detail regarding why you would take pleasure in the job and also how the task matches your goals. This is specifically important if the job stands for even a slight job shift or a step up to even more duty. A too-general solution that could relate to any position.You do not wish to give the perception that you're only curious about this job since it's offered.
What are security skills?
Security guards minimize theft. Often the mere presence of a security guard will deter patrons and professionals from stealing. A guard is a greater visual deterrent than just camera surveillance or a standard security system.
Professional Driving Capacity
Jewell later on efficiently filed a claim against numerous news companies that reported him as the criminal before having the truths. The vigiles were soldiers appointed to guard the city of Rome, usually credited as the beginning of both security employees as well as authorities, although their primary task was as a fire brigade. There have actually been evening security guard considering that a minimum of the Middle Ages in Europe; walled cities of ancient times additionally had actually watchmen.
Whizrt: Substitute Smart Cybersecurity Red Team
The proficiency they obtain in weapons dealing with and also handling violent dispute make ex-military workers and police officers excellent candidates for armed security. Several of the clients of personal security agencies additionally have the alternative to hire in-house security. Often times it is simpler as well as a lot more reliable for them to acquire out the service via a neighborhood security firm than to hire internally. The duties of a security guard coincide, globe about. Their task is to safeguard properties by surveillance, reporting, and preventing any kind of breach of security.
Add Your Contact Details The Proper Way
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What are some duties of a security guard?
A security guard is someone who patrols and inspects property against fire, theft, vandalism, terrorism, and illegal activity. They monitor people and buildings in an effort to prevent crime.
An unique chair showed up in Europe sometime in the late Middle Ages, called the watchman's chair; this unupholstered wood chair had an onward slanting seat to prevent the watchman from dropping off throughout obligation. Technological improvements in relation to drones, facial acknowledgment, as well as robotics are anticipated to remain to boost the personal security landscape in Australia. A developing understanding of risks has caused personal security playing a greater part in reacting to crucial occurrences, such as terrorist strikes. " Public Security", an individual utilized or appointed as an (generally equipped) security officer by a government or government firm.
Richard Jewell, a gatekeeper at Atlanta, Georgia's Centennial Olympic Park during the 1996 Summertime Olympics that was wrongly accused of the Centennial Olympic Park bombing. Jewell was later on free from those costs, and remained in fact the one who conserved hundreds of lives when he first noticed the questionable plan and obtained the area left.
" beveiligingsbedrijf - wat is objectbeveiliging , advertises financial growth for the Area by making sure customer retention, Gatekeeper retention, and also assistance for the advancement of brand-new organisation. " Scheduler", Security Officer project and also critical scheduling resulting in client fulfillment, employee retention and also cost maintained within District monetary plans. " In-house" or "proprietary" (i.e. employed by the exact same company or company they shield, such as a mall, theme park, or gambling enterprise); formerly often called jobs police or security authorities in the United Kingdom. A security officer shielding the entryway to an apartment building, and also managing the parking of cars in Haikou, Hainan District, China. There are much better verification techniques than passwords and also security concerns available for your company-- as well as with assistance from LoginRadius, you can adopt them promptly and conveniently.
Objects that have to acquire their security from a moms and dad object will present the alternative as handicapped, while objects that can not inherit security will certainly not show this choice.
Whereas security is always certain to an object (such a user interface or procedure design), exposure is usually depending on an expression.
Inheritance in object security dialogs is constantly shown as an option below the Parent field.
The following table gives a detailed malfunction of which items acquire security by default, and also which things will prompt you to set security throughout creation.
Security as well as presence are two unique ideas in Appian.
Visibility permits developers to offer granular directions regarding which individuals or groups should be able to see and also communicate with a specific facet of an object.
state of California also enables individuals to be detained in some circumstances. In The golden state, guards have to finish a training class that focuses on apprehension powers, and also the guard must after that rack up a perfect 100% on the final test for that course. Assuming that the guard passes the program in this fashion, he/she would certainly then obtain a certificate that allows for detention in the implementation of regular responsibilities.
How do I describe my skills on a resume?
You don't have to pull over for them, but you should, so long as you're on their property. Said security officer can make you leave property - as in, if you don't play by the rules set forth by the private property owners, you've gotta leave.
By having a professional mindset as well as strong work values, companies will be a lot more interested in considering you for promotions, new tasks, or other positive results. Security officers commonly start on between ₤ 12,000 and ₤ 15,000 a year yet this can enhance to ₤ 20,000 plus, with experience.
What should I say in a security interview?
The skills section of your resume includes your abilities that are related to the jobs you are applying for. In this section, you should list skills that are relevant to the position or career field that you are interested in, such as computer skills, software skills, and/or language skills.
We've produced a list of the leading 10 tough skills employers are seeking, with multiple examples of each. We'll additionally reveal you exactly just how to effectively showcase them on your resume to help you land much more meetings. A few of these jobs may consist of finishing your operate in a prompt as well as reliable way. Individuals who exercise solid job values are less likely to procrastinate the task at hand are the first to tip up and tackle a brand-new task.
What are your top five skills?
However, for the most part, there are three broad types of IT security: Network, End-Point, and Internet security (the cybersecurity subcategory). The other various types of IT security can usually fall under the umbrella of these three types.
We can supply for short and also lasting projects as well as will work with your budget and your worries to produce the security you require for you and also your service. security, offering the locations with expert armed security personnel for over twenty years.
This wage might raise to greater than ₤ 40,000 per year in primary and also senior security roles. We deliver on all the personal contract guard alternatives noted above, using only off duty, retired, and also prior authorities for armed security jobs.
Security Vs. Exposure
Personal protection officers, or dignitary and also executive defense, are security agents appointed to the defense of someone. Their task is to physically protect top-level as well as at-risk individuals such as celebrities as well as politicians. Police officers are employed for the City, State, as well as Communities. Off-duty policeman are usually appointed to preserve security as well as flow of website traffic at neighborhood occasions such as events as well as parades. Lots of armed guards are ex-military or police police officers.
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banditthewriter · 5 years
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Remember The Tin Man - 1 - The Storm
Here we are, the first part to my newest Billy Russo x Reader story! This is a retelling of The Wizard of Oz. Title comes from the Tracy Chapman song of the same name. I am very excited for this story and I hope you all will enjoy it as well!
Tags are at the bottom. Let me know if you would like to be added to one of my tag lists!
Enjoy!
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*****
The building that you walked into had seen better days, but you weren't there to make sure it was structurally sound. No, you were there because someone had reported illegal use of magic from this address and it was your job to verify if that was true or not. The lights flickered as you moved down the second hallway. That was a point in the column for illegal magic. As was the tang of copper and salt that you had come across when you first entered the building. The device that you were carrying was a little larger than your cell phone. It was plain black, the plastic casing covering every inch. The old ones used to light up when magic was detected, but the rise in illegal magic made the lights less reliable. These upgraded versions vibrated instead. "That'll hold up in court," you complained quietly to your mentor and friend, Melanie. "Yes your honor, I definitely felt it vibrate in my hand, but sadly I'm not able to prove that." "You know all hearings take place in charmed court rooms these days," she said with an eye roll that told you she was seeing through your attitude. "Stop being bitter. It's part of the job." Part of the job, you thought with a huff as you ducked into another room in the abandoned building. Had it once been a hospital? You thought you saw an operating room one floor down. This wasn't the job you had wanted. It wasn't even the job you had applied and been hired for. That job was in a department that had been closed six months after you were hired and they just shuffled people around. Working for the government wasn't your dream, but it paid the bills. Magic was not the same as it had been when you were a kid. Growing up you would see magic on every street corner. It was something to brag about, something people traveled to see. Now it was hidden, deemed lesser by some of the people in charge. "Magic is in the past," the people on the street corners yelled out, signs hoisted in the air reading Magic Is Sin. The world was turning away from magic in a way that made you think it might actually go away this time. After you checked the rest of the building, you made your way out to your car and settled down with your file. You clicked your pen a few times and filled out that there wasn't any magic residue, legal or otherwise, that was detected. It was your third call in less than twenty four hours. While they weren't uncommon, it did make you wonder if they were connected. The office for Human and Magical Enforcement, or HAME for short, was a one story building that stretched three blocks. The gates would register your car and let you through but there were armed guards outside anyways. On either side of the entrance were protesters. On one side were the quacks that thought magic should die out. The other side were magic advocates. Protests for the most part were peaceful, but every now and then the guards were required to step in and cool it down. Car parked, you carried your things back into the building. Your office was on the far side, but you stopped by the inquisition department to visit your friend Pierre. He was sitting at his desk with a stack of papers a foot tall but he wasn't paying any attention to them. All of his attention was on the television in the corner of his office. The news casters were talking about weather magic and how there had been magic storms increasing in frequency. "We looking into that?" you asked as you leaned against his desk. "You kidding? You can't do a card trick without one of the Inquisitors showing up on your doorstep. It's just a matter of finding the source." He turned to look at you and smiled. "Speaking of finding sources. You gonna have some more work for me to do? Because I'm almost caught up." He gestured at the pile with a wry grin and you shook your head. "Nothing for you guys," you said as you showed him your report. "I'm less an investigator and more a ghost hunter at this point. They keep sending me to abandoned buildings down in the industrial part of town." "We've got a lot of activity lately but we can't seem to find any of it. You think it's someone covering their tracks?" "The other option is that magic is fading," you said as you shrugged and headed to the door. "I don't want to think about how long we'll be employed if that happens." After you dropped off your report with your superior, you headed into your office and shut the door. While most of the other workers had made their offices into more homey places, your office was mostly bare. The one exception was a picture of your dog Toto, a black lab that you had saved as a stray puppy. He was a few years old and fiercely protective of you. You still smelled copper, the salty taste on your tongue. With a sigh, you sat down at your desk and pulled out the detection device. If it was taken in an audit, it would show that not only had you found magic but that you'd found a lot of it. This was the first time you'd actually stumbled across any and it was that salty taste that told you it was illegal. All magic felt a little like touching an exposed wire while current was flowing through it; magic tasted like copper and electricity and fire in some cases. But the salty tang came from illegal magic. If you were there when it was cast, it usually felt cold. There was a high powered magnet in your desk that you pulled out. Checking that your door was shut and locked, you ran the magnet over the side of your device to wipe it. Now if there was an audit the device wouldn't show any record of detected magic. It was the least you could do. You couldn't stand out at the gates and protest with the rest of the advocates but you could be their man on the inside. Even if they didn't know about it. ------ "You sure you don't want to join me for dinner? I'm making something unpronounceable." You laughed and shook your head as you locked your office door, giving Melanie a smile as you did so. "No, but thanks Mel," you said as you pocketed your keys. "I'm gonna go home and take Toto for a walk. I've got some leftovers that are calling my name." "Okay," she said as she gave your arm a pat. "Be sure to keep your detector on you while you're out, yeah? These magical storms are getting closer to the city." The two of you said goodbye as she turned to one of the parking lots and you went to the other. She wasn't wrong about the magical storms; the newscasters that Pierre watched said that one had sprang up just outside of the city limits. They usually stuck to open plains and less populated areas, but that was apparently changing. Magical storms were just what they were called; half magic and half natural disaster, they tended to cause chaos. Most people found that their technology didn't work as reliably when a storm was near while others had declared strange happenings when they were caught inside of one. They looked like a run of the mill tornado but that magical essence was obvious to anyone who saw it. You lived just outside of the main part of the city. The little house that you rented was old and quaint. It was the first place that you had looked at when you came to the city and you'd fallen in love. It was one bedroom but you didn't have many visitors. On the wall in the living room was a picture of your family from back home; a mom, a dad, a sister, and a brother. You were the youngest and you'd felt like you were suffocating your whole life. Leaving had been the first thing that you'd been able to do on your own. You loved your family but you hadn't seen them since you left. Sure, you talked on the phone and you sent home presents for Christmas, but they never tried to come see you and you never went back either. Toto was ready for his walk by time you got home. He was pacing at the door and you dropped to your knees to give him love. "Oh Totes," you said as you rubbed his chin, "you wanna go for a walk? Been cooped up all day, haven't you? Let me get out of these clothes." You dressed in some jeans and a t-shirt, pulling a leather jacket on to fight off the chill that was in the air. After putting on Toto's leash, you checked that you had your keys and the detector. Satisfied you headed out of the house and off down the sidewalk. There weren't many neighbors on this street. There was one not too far away but she didn't like dogs so you tended to stay away from her side when you were walking Toto. Instead you walked away from the woods and down where it was flat. "Gonna be a cold night," you said to Toto as you felt the wind against your face. "Think it's gonna rain?" Toto, who had been ignoring you and sniffing the grass, suddenly sat upright and started to look around. You followed his example but didn't see anything that would have caught his attention. He started to growl and moved to stand at your side. "What is it Toto?" He started to bark, pulling at his leash in the direction of home. You were confused but as you started to follow him, you knew immediately what was wrong. The smell of copper and salt on the air made you freeze. The detector was vibrating in your pocket, picking up the magic at the same moment you were. Fear. Fear is what made you turn around. The thing about magical storms was that they were silent. You could see the whirling funnel of dirt, debris, and magic heading straight for you, but there was no noise of wind. As it got closer you'd be able to hear any destruction it made, but you didn't intend to stick around. Taking off at a run, you kept a tight grip on Toto's leash as you ran the direction you had come. If you could get to your house, you'd be safer than you'd be in the middle of an open field. Toto tugged harder and harder as the taste of copper became more and more prominent in your mouth. I won't make it, you thought as you saw how far away the house was. The storm was right on your heels, the wind whipping at you. Decision made, you dropped the leash and yelled for Toto to run. That dog; that stupid, foolish, loyal dog. Toto stayed at length with you, even doubling back to nudge at your legs. When you realized that you couldn't run anywhere, you darted over to a slight indent and tucked Toto under you. Most magical storms didn't kill the humans that they struck but you weren't taking the chance with Toto. He whimpered and barked and you held on as hard as you could as the storm seemed to turn and head towards you. It was like it was hunting you. As the wind picked up, you thought you could hear something. Not wind, that was just something you felt. No, you thought you heard a voice. There's no other way, it said before the storm was on top of you. And then you didn't hear anything else. ------ There was something wet dripping on your face. That was the first thought that came to mind as you tried to open your eyes. Slowly you came to awareness and you opened your eyes to see that there was some sort of tree over you that was dripping. No, the tree wasn't dripping. It was raining. The tree was protecting you from most of the rain, but it was still getting on you. You started to sit up when you realized that you hadn't been anywhere near a tree. The last thing you remembered was tugging Toto into that indent in the ground as the magical storm blew over you. Toto! You looked around and immediately spotted the dog. He was sitting nearby with his head on his paws watching you. When you made eye contact, he came bounding over to you with his tail wagging. "Hey To," you said hoarsely, rubbing your throat and frowning at the taste of copper. "Jeez, how far did that storm blow us?" Slowly you stood up, leaning against the tree for a moment to steady yourself. Once you were sure that you weren't about to pass out or fall over, you reached down to grab Toto's leash and led him into the rain. The area didn't look familiar but the headache you had meant that you probably hit your head at some point so maybe you were just out of it. The lighting changed through some nearby trees so you headed that way hoping that maybe you'd recognize something in the opening. As you got closer, you realized that you were walking up to a cliff. When you came out on the other side, you felt your breath stolen from your chest. The cliff overlooked a town that was obviously not yours, but in the distance you saw a glinting green structure. The longer you stared, the more you realized that the structure was slowly rotating. From this distance it was hard to tell, but you were pretty sure it was floating. At least that's what the stories said. And if that was true, then what you were looking at was something you hadn't thought was actually real. This was Oz; it was said to be the birth place of magic. It was also just a story that was told to kids. You didn't think it was real. It looked, for all intents and purposes, exactly how you imagined it. Except... Except there was something wrong. The longer you stared at the structure, you remembered that the glimmering palace was supposed to be higher in the sky. The stories talked about the palace high in the sky, held up by magic. The only way to and from was a direct route underneath or to fly in. Toto pulled on his leash and you looked down at him. He was letting out a low growl, his fur standing in a stripe down his spine. You followed his gaze to figure out what he was growling at. There was something, or someone, moving around in the distance. If this wasn't a dream—and the excruciating headache told you it wasn't—then you were really stuck in a land that you had heard about but had never been to. No one that you knew had ever been there. Maybe the stories weren't all real or maybe they were, but you weren't curious to find out if maybe they had been written nicer just yet. "C'mon Toto," you said as you tugged his leash. He followed you immediately, tossing looks over his shoulder as the two of you made your way back through the trees. It had stopped raining but the ground was still wet so you stepped carefully. The trouble was that you had no idea how to get home. Hell, you weren't even sure how you got to Oz. There had been a magical storm but humans had gone through them before without actually being taken away. At least not that you were aware of. The detector was in your jacket pocket, a solid weight against your stomach. You pulled it out and turned it around, waiting. It didn't vibrate but you weren't sure that meant that it wasn't working. Maybe Oz wasn't magical itself, just home to magic? Or maybe it had broken when you had landed after the storm? Or maybe it was linked to a different reality and wouldn't work here at all. What difference did it make? You tucked it back into your pocket and tugged Toto further into the woods. What could you remember about Oz from what you had read as a kid? There was a ruling force in the palace called the Wizard. He was the one that had decided to share magic with the world which had included your world as well apparently. Maybe there was still a wizard, either the one from the story or a new one. Maybe going to the palace was your chance to figure out how to get home. You were in the birth place of magic; surely this would be the one place you'd be able to find someone who could give you answers.
One thing you didn't remember from your stories was the amount of technology that Oz had, but you got the first glimpse as you saw a car in the middle of the forest. The question of how it got there came and went in favor of wondering how long it had been there. The car was easily thirty years old and looked like it hadn't moved in that long. Toto let out a low growl, pulling on his lead, and you glanced behind you to see movement once more. The sight made you make your decision. Quickly you rushed over to the car and checked the back door. It creaked open just enough for you to slip in, Toto first. Once both of you were in, you pulled the door shut and then dropped to the floor of the car. There was enough room for you to tug Toto down as well, smoothing your hand over his neck to keep him calm. Seconds and minutes blended in together. You weren't even sure what you were waiting for, but you had a feeling you'd know it when it came.
X
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newstfionline · 6 years
Text
Man of Letters
Stephen Meyers, City Lab, July 24, 2018
My fourth day delivering mail for the U.S. Postal Service, it snowed-one of those heavy, wet, spring-in-Colorado snows that knocks down tree branches and crushes newly-bloomed tulips. I was training with a veteran letter carrier on a walk-out route, the type where the carrier pushes a blue buggy full of mail and small packages. It’s a lot harder, I discovered, to push that thing through slush.
I schlepped my disheveled, wet self into downtown businesses where concerned secretaries took pity on me as I handed them their soaked mail.
Welcome to the Postal Service.
“Neither snow nor rain, nor heat, nor gloom of night ...” that’s how the saying goes right?
The rude welcome to the Postal Service quickly taught me mail delivery is no leisurely stroll through the neighborhood, dismantling the idyllic image of a smiling Mr. McFeeley handing out birthday cards in “Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood.” My first week on the job, I lost 5 pounds.
Being a mail carrier is hard.
I’d eventually get used to the physical rigors of the job and learn the rhythms, tricks and routines of delivering mail, but what surprised me the most over the next 15 months working on the front lines of this vast, imperfect, but essential big-government institution is how the Postal Service delivers much more than just letters, magazines and Amazon packages to a neighborhood.
I met elderly residents who lived alone and just wanted someone to talk to for a couple minutes a day. I saw how critical the Postal Service is for local businesses, like the one that ships dozens of Priority Mail boxes of custom-made zippers for wedding gowns across the country every day. I met strangers willing to donate grocery bags full of food during the long-running Letter Carriers’ Stamp Out Hunger Food Drive, which tallied 71.6 million pounds of found collected nationwide. I learned the value of a powerful union and experienced the most diverse workplace I’ve ever encountered. And most importantly, what I found while roving from house to house on foot was an intimate insight into my community and fellow Americans.
Like many who come to work for the Postal Service, I didn’t find my way into the USPS because I had a burning desire to deliver mail; I just needed a job. A laid-off journalist, I’d spent six months striking out on landing a writing gig and grew tired of the soul-sucking grind that is job searching. An old college friend was working happily delivering mail, and making more than I ever did in newspapering: The benefits are good, you don’t take the job home with you, and there’s lots of overtime if you want it.
And the USPS is nearly always hiring, especially in metro areas in advance of the holiday shopping season. Colorado’s Front Range, which includes Denver, Boulder, and Fort Collins, is currently short more than 500 positions. The hiring process is long--I applied in mid-February and didn’t start until May--and includes two exams, a personality assessment, and the 473 Postal Exam, which tests your ability to check addresses for errors, accurately fill out forms, and memorize and recall lists of street addresses. I had to also pass a drug test (that’s the biggest hurdle to hiring in weed-legal Colorado, the Fort Collins Postmaster told me) and an exhaustive background check. Then it was off to city carrier academy, where veteran carriers taught my fellow classmates and me the tricks of organizing and carrying mail and how to drive the postal vehicles. We each got a navy blue USPS hat and T-shirt and were sent to our respective post offices to begin our postal careers; I was now a USPS employee, working as a city carrier assistant.
In the evenings I’d continue my search for a Plan B career after journalism, but for the other 8-to-10 hours a day (and up to 12 during holiday season) I’d deliver mail and packages to residents of Fort Collins, Colorado.
A lot of packages.
Receive an Instant Pot for Christmas? Yeah, so did your neighbor. My record was 18 delivered in one day--we saw that craze coming on well before Black Friday.
The old-timers at my office remember the days they’d deliver, five, maybe, 10 packages a day. Now it’s more like 50 or 60 a day, from 40-pound bags of dog food to furniture and food-in-a-box meal kits. The Postal Service wasn’t really built for the Amazon era: Our (badly outdated) vehicles don’t have enough space to house them, and few have shelves, leaving carriers to play an Amazon box-sized game of Jenga every day.
(Sidenote on those trucks, called LLVs, or Long Life Vehicles: Most are about 30 years old, with that many years of cigarette smoke soaked into the seats; they lack airbags or air conditioning, and the heaters are less than effective. The USPS is facing a major budget challenge because it needs to replace up to 180,000 of these elderly machines over the next several years, which is going to cost more than $6 billion.)
Every Sunday we’d fill our LLVs with 100 to 175 Amazon packages, thanks to USPS’ exclusive contract with the e-commerce giant--that’s the one that the president keeps objecting to, though it’s been a revenue source for the cash-strapped service. And, no fail, every Sunday, customers would ask why I was working and I’d jokingly (is it a joke, though?) tell them “Because Amazon is taking over the world.”
Other comments I’d hear almost every day:
“You bringing me a check today?”
“You can keep the bills.”
“This one better be a winner!” (I had no idea Publisher’s Clearing House was still a thing, but it is, especially in low-income and senior-living communities.)
“You staying cool out there?” (The answer is always “No, but I’m trying!”).
No one is ever upset to see their mail carrier, you know? This was so foreign to me, as a journalist who was used to being less warmly received. And while predictable and routine and mostly about the weather, I loved these little conversations with residents along my route.
When kids saw me driving around the corner, they’d drop their ballgame and race me down the sidewalk. Others were excited to see me because I was about to be a lucky customer at their lemonade stand. At the retirement home, residents greeted me every day at the wall of mailboxes; if I’d show up five minutes early or five minutes late, they’d jokingly let me have it. “You know, Sue is usually here by 3:30!”
Residents learned my name, and more importantly I learned the intricacies of their neighborhoods. A fellow carrier, a Fort Collins native and Mexican American, proudly showed me his home that’s part of the historically Hispanic neighborhood that I had never taken the time to properly explore and experience on foot. I learned from longtime residents how they felt about the gentrification happening in pockets of Fort Collins. This booming college town has outgrown its farming and ranching roots and is transforming into a progressive tech hub, known for its breweries and affinity for bike lanes, coffee shops, and high-priced boutiques.
Delivering the mail gives you a granular insight into America’s growing cultural, political, and wealth divide. North of town, there’s a senior-living mobile home community sitting in the shadow of newly-built eco-friendly condos that sell for half a million dollars. Residents at the condos subscribe to The Atlantic and New Yorker; residents in the trailer park a few hundred feet away get People and National Enquirer.
After several months, the rhythms of carrying mail became second nature; I’d successfully carried nearly every one of the office’s 50 routes around the city. I also became familiar with the downsides of the job. As one might expect at a financially beleaguered organization that’s been losing money for more than a decade, office morale was often low: Nearly every week, there’d be a shouting match between carriers complaining about mail arriving late to the office, thus delaying and extending their day, and management only shrugging their shoulders and saying that’s an issue out of their control. Clerks, whose duties include working the front desk helping customers and sorting mail and packages (sometimes overnight), were brutally overworked, often clocking 60- to 70-hour weeks. Many of my coworkers felt trapped: Sure, the job sucked sometimes, but where else can you find a secure job that pays as well?
It was my relationships with fellow carriers and clerks--a diverse group, from first-generation Americans to military veterans--that made the job bearable most days. But once I landed a long-sought communications gig, I made the decision to move on from the USPS.
After I shared my Postal Service experience in a thread on Twitter that went semi-viral, I received dozens of comments from readers who shared their nostalgia and affection for this beloved and embattled American institution. One told me about a mail carrier who heard a smoke alarm going off in an empty house and alerted a neighbor. Others were children of postal workers, grateful for the livelihoods that the jobs provided. “Both my parents retired from the post office,” one reader told me. “My mom started when she was just 19 years old. It’s not what it used to be…. They work the new folks into the ground, so I hear. I try to tip my carrier well for dealing with the BS.”
The response made me even more proud of my time wearing the blue uniform; I’m more deeply connected to my community and have a better understanding of my fellow Americans. From now on, I’ll tip my mail carrier well. You should, too.
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shystoryrebel · 3 years
Text
SECULAR BULL
He was one of the part time and replacement taxi drivers that used to work and live near our society building.  He came here to work in the month of January after the massacre of Hindus by Jihadis in Punditwari, Anantnag. There were many drivers working as drivers there at all times. Some of them work in day and some at night. Some work only on holidays. They all stay in dingy little servant quarters near the parking area in different residential societies. Generally they do not keep their families with them due to financial constrains and problem of insufficient living space. Most of these drivers were Muslims and were illiterate and lazy difficult fellows who were, it seems happy to survive some how. Amidst the dirty and dusty bodies of cars their poverty and laziness was in tune. But in glaring contrast, they were very attentive and caring to the commands of local tough, bearded, skull capped maulvi.
  GENOCIDE OF PUNDITS
  Sigris were cold in pundit helmets,
People here were fuels to jihadi guns,
Wailing widows crying for slaughtered kins.
Terrified returning homeward their tired way,
As world a towering inferno to them.
The air was carrying a sad silent tone,
Weeping birds complain to moon and stars
Crying about the lost ones,
Who will never be seen again?
No memorials erected for those slaughtered,
As they were not mad vote machines.
In that method less madness,
Some might have slaughtered with a fire within,
Or arms that might have raised an empire,
Or hands that might have rocked the oceans,
Some great Vivekananda might be there,
Or some cherished Tendulkar,
Might have lost his blood.
All merit they had but sad fate,
Slaughtered for a status and crown
And their shivering bones remained,
Unprotected from insult and bloodbath.
Let not power mock their toll,
Sad destiny and remorseful smile,
And rude kotwals of secular trade dancing,
Multicultural dons will remain their,
To curse names and race for their trade
Bestowed with a treasure hidden.
On unclaimed pyre lie their corpses,
Unfortunate, cursed and unattended,
Nation mocking their poor faith,
Alas! Poor pundits of Death Valley.
              So I was surprised when I first met Ram Sunder Razdan last winter when I was going back to Khurja, in his taxi, for the winter vacation. He was absolutely different from other drivers. He was of average height, strongly built, sharp and attractive features, shining and pointed black moustache with some aging hairs, hiding the upper lip. He did justify his name by his decent and graceful mannerism. He was a retired army man. His uniform was always ironed with clear crease and shoes always polished, true to his army background. He was so different from his dull and lazy fellow drivers, with ugly Kabuli looks, in mismatched uniform, soiled shoes, ill mannered behavior that he was actually a pleasure to see in true sense. He was simply a mismatch to that ghetto like environment.
A clay pot that contains milk will be ranked higher than a golden pot that has dirt in it. It is not the outer glamour but the inner wisdom that makes a person valuable.
             When first time I met him in the tin shade counter, made by the taxi drivers for their rest and wait. There he was getting harsh up-brandings from Mr.Hassan Farooqui. Mr Farooqui resides in our society in a flat and is in his forties and recently returned from America after the bombing of 9/11. All the time he used to vent his frustration on every body on his run from that dream land due to the extra ordinary watch kept on Muslims in America after 9/11. Mr.Farooqui has mysterious business and in the society considered being rich. He is very arrogant of his possessions and he boasts it with gold chain in his neck and left wrist decks with expensive Rolex gold watch and the HTC Heur cell-phone in his long kurta pocket. He is dwarf sized, bulky and fast going bald. His face has loose skin and black patches due to excess intake of imported whisky. In himself he is a class ready to plunge anywhere for the sake of quick and easy money. People uses to whisper that of late, he supplies young and notorious boys for stone pelting on security forces to get heavy bucks from across the border.  
              Farooqui is a fat and modern consumer like any other neo-rich. He was a fast and quick buyer to live and enjoy, seeing a purpose for his life. He consumes to live and lives to consume. If some thing new and branded is not added to his catalogue of things he may wind up and die but he was faithful to the preaching of Holy Quran like a sarkari babu loyal to his work and files and constitution of India.
              Again back to the encounter between Farooqui and Ram Sunder Razdan. Ram sunder sitting on a broken, loosely tied cot and Farooqui in front of him, furiously shouting, and another man who looked wealthy like Farooqui, gold watch and chain, gesticulating abusively and shouting in the same manner. It seems both were very angry with Ram Sunder Razdan for some reason. Normally I usually ignore Farooqui and his bad company because it was their routine shouting session on one or the other. Farooqui is the president of the housing society and he was proud of his president ship. Due to this position he was always in demand, some time by trouble shooter communal separatist leaders or some time by law enforcing bodies to get his help in restoring peace and order. He was a very cunning interlocutor.
              But it was Ram Sunder Razdan—his bright confident face and high bearing with an inmate pride in himself, a sense of defiance to these owls and injured pride like a wounded tiger made me stop to look over the wrangling with an awe and shock. A totally astonishing thing happened. Ram Sunder Razdan said to Farooqui and company, “But sir it was not my mistake, I was just driving the car,” in clear and chaste manner but a little bit of rural accented English. It was a very interesting dramatic scene. Farooqui is stupefied and cannot believe his ears nor can his friend. They were looking side to avoid that insulting situation in my presence.  Ram Sunder Razdan is also elated on this unexpected upper hand. Farooqui and his friend is now red faced and started barking out like a mad dog. These two gentlemen have their education in madarsas.
              ‘You talk to me in English! How dare you talk?’ Shouted Farooqui.
           ‘I just said that I was driving, and I am not a rustic. I do speak English’, Ram Sunder Razdan replied to Farooqui and company in Hindi.
           ‘I will boot you out.’
           Ram Sunder Razdan kept quiet at this and some how controlled his anger.
           I intervened and try to remain neutral ‘what is the matter, Farooqui sahib?’
              With a sigh of relief he turned and looked at me. Normally he considers me as an insignificant fellow in the society and never pays any attention to me but that day he treated me with respect and glad to see me there as a person who can pull him out of that tight position. He treated me in a very friendly manner.
              ‘Ah Sharmaji, good you are here,’ he tried to speak in English but soon good sense prevailed and he switched over to Hindi which was worse than his English. ‘My friend Basher Mohammad (here the troubled man smiled and I responded back with smile), came to talk to this man to hire a driver and this rough idiot driver asked him about his identity.’
              I come to this stand very frequently and every body knows me well here and I was never subjected to this type of enquiry. He wanted to bring a person who can vouch for me and when I refused, he very harshly refused me to give any driver or taxi to me.
             I felt very uncomfortable in being involved with such type of stupid thing but still I spoke hesitantly, ‘he was right and more over due to terrorism and insurgency one has to see the anecdotes of a person before working for him and he doesn’t know you.’
             To support his friend Farooqui shouted, ‘He insulted my friend,’ but there was not any conviction this time in his tone.  
             Due to terrorism and insurgency in the Kashmir valley only a Muslim name was enough to create a sense of discomfort in any body’s mind.
             ‘These rules have been made by the government agencies for our safety, and Mr.Razdan was following the rules what he has been told to follow and these are for our safety.’
             Farooqui and Basher Mohammad glared at me and then Farooqui said angrily, “Sharmaji I am going to complain to the society welfare committee and your father about your attitude.” I simply smiled at his threat and ignored his comments. He quickly entered the lift and his friend followed him like a scooter’s extra tire (stepni).  
              Later on, my servant Krishna told me that his name was Ram Sunder Razdan and that he was a Brahman. I learnt from Krishna that the other driver did not like him, thought him to be arrogant due to his mannerism, education and army background. But they thought this was because Ram Sunder Razdan was of a ‘higher’ caste and all the other being Muslims, uneducated and ill-mannered. He was very reserved by nature and kept to himself. In his free times, he reads English and religious books in the drivers’ room. Children used to come to him to get their homework done in a very smooth and correct manner. All this according to my servant was bad behavior, but he agreed that he was the best driver working at that taxi stand and highly liked by ladies and children. He was very smart, efficient and did his job excellently and very competently. For his competency women and children used to give him good tips. This made male family members and other taxi drivers jealous of him. Even he used to help society ladies and children without any extra charge for their minor works, like dropping and picking their children from the school whenever they miss the bus. On this other taxi drivers started spreading all type of rumors about his character.
              Mr.Hassan Farooqui did complain to my father but he did not pay any attention to him nor did he say thing to me. But after that incident, Farooqui, with his wounded pride, started misinformation campaign against Ram Sunder Razdan. He criticized Ram Sunder for every thing and any thing. He called him inefficient and said rash while driving. He even claimed he had caught him driving under the influence of wine. He was bent on getting him booted out, come what way. But the problem was that no one was sympathetic to these two fools and other residents, especially women and children were opposed to this tirade, so Ram Sunder stayed there.
              Hassan Farooqui couldn’t digest this reality that a poor miserable little Kashmiri Pundit driver had answered back a Muslim here in Kashmir in this manner and that too in English. He was sure; it was just to insult him in front of his friend and worse, in front of me. He was very upset about the insult in ‘English’.
              In his blind arrogance he never even realized that he could ever have been wrong. He had always been wealthy and the rich and wealthy are always right; and he had no doubt about his conviction. On the other hand, Ram Sunder Razdan, on his part remained the same in his behavior towards Hassan Farooqui and his friend and did nothing that was counter productive except he stopped offering ‘Salaam’ to Farooqui and his friends, while he could offer ‘Salaam’ to other persons and this made Farooqui furious with no end.
              After that incident, I came to know more about Ram Sunder from talking with him every now and then for five-ten minutes when I had free time. He felt highly obliged to me for my timely intervention on that ‘fateful’ day for which he profusely thanked me. The other drivers also realized his worth by that time. Ram Sunder would read to them, news and stories from English newspaper and magazines, around the world as English newspapers and magazines were much more informative than the poor local Kashmiri newspapers. They had unofficially elected him as their president and I thought that he possesses all the leadership qualities, as he came from a race that was once leaders and most intelligent thinkers of that state. His fore fathers must have waged wars against the British and Muslim rulers amidst the beautiful natural heavenly beauty. But now due to the communal politics of the state governments and central governments in the name of secularism these Pundits are forced to lead the life of refuses in their own country and were toiling hard for daily meal.
               Ram Sunder Razdan was an educated person. He was intermediate pass from the Commerce and Arts Government College; Anantnag, the very same college, his father used to teach Sanskrit there, but was killed by Islamic terrorists. Ram Sunder Razdan has to leave his studies and his village and had to join army that he liked. Razdans did not have much land and property and some of it had to be sold for his sister’s wedding and brother’s studies. He himself had married when he was only twenty and now his one son and daughters were living in a refugee camp in Delhi. Unlike other Muslim drivers who had big families, he has small but sad family. The income from the farm was nothing as he had to leave the farming due to the terrorists’ threat and local people usurped his land and gave nothing in its return. His younger brother had to discontinue his studies due to the terror threat.
   After the retirement from the army he got a job as a teacher in a school near Shrinagar, but after a year without pay and with no hope of the situation ever improving, he quit the job and left the place and came to Shrinagar. Drifting from one job to other, sometimes working as a helper in a grocery shop, sometimes even as a laborer. In Kashmir, it was very difficult for Hindus to get a good job. Hindus are considered as children of lesser God. Fed up with all these, he finally started this driving job. He would tell me all his past things without any hesitation to reduce his pain. I could feel his pain beneath his silence. He hadn’t met his wife and children since a year and this made him more sad and gloomy.  
  BRAND NAME
   God send me on the earth, an innocent being,
Untouched by the black and white doing,
But the world branded me as a Brahmin,
And a curse fallen on this urchin,
A child of lesser God,
The entire honor was forbidden to this pod.
  Education, help, livelihood;
All was snatched by Robin Hood,
Some branded it as social equality,
But it was state cruelty,
Other’s called it secular passion,
But it was ugly repression,
All the isms kill human rights,
They are the Janus face of racial might.
   He was very well informed and well read which was very amazing for a man of this humble background. Reading was a passion to him and very often he used to discuss the things that he had read in the newspapers and books and what he felt about them. I realized that he had a very sharp and intelligent critical bent of mind, much sharper than me even though I was a student and teacher of literature. His perception about things was remarkably very acute. Perhaps ups and down of life had taught him so much about the world and its realities.
   He started borrowing books from me though I am not as well read in Hindi literature as I should have been because Hindi is my mother tongue. But the knowledge of Hindi is not going to fetch any dividend in this English controlled economy. Moreover if Hindi books are seen in any house it was considered as a sign of educational and social backwardness. In Kashmir Hindi can also jeopardize individual safety. Among the books were collections of Munshi Premchand, Shivani, Guleri, Yatri. He was such a voracious reader that he returned back the borrowed books the very next day.
  During my evening and morning walk time we would sit in the park and talk about the books and stories, their characters and life in general and feared life in Kashmir in particular, until I went back to my flat. Now he stopped saluting me and begins greeting me with Ram Ram which made me very glad and comfortable as I was not his army officer or boss. He has tremendous love for his wife and he would wear a saffron colored sweater, symbol of patriotism and bravery, knitted by his wife over his white uniform.  
  In the first week of January he sent a little note to me, requesting to borrow five hundred rupees, which he will repay during the summer season when the tourism season is on its peak. At home his wife needed that money urgently to deposit the exam fee of his school going kids. He also wrote in the note that he is now penniless and he had no money left even to take his meals. He wrote that he had not eaten any morsel for two days and now having difficulty in driving. It was a short, formal and very decent letter as was his manners.  
  I had gone out so my wife came down with the money and gave to him. She also gave some food to Ram Sunder.
 When Mr.Hassan Farooqui.came to know about this help, he mocked me and my wife about this and named Ram Sunder a lazy impotent bull. He was under this wrong impression that probably Ram Sunder and other drivers consume wine at night because he had heard loud noises from some where and that is where all money is wasted. But I ignored him. This made him more jealous of me.
  Hassan Farooqui was a highly religious man. He was very liberal in giving donations to mosques, madarsas and other Islamic institutions and bodies. He used to read prayers five times a day and regularly used to organize Quran reading at his flat. But shockingly enough has no respect for any other religion or any other human being of different faith. I wondered what kind of God he believed in. His God must be a small and narrow God.
  On the occasion of Eid all were partying and marry making. All were greeting each other and a big party was organized in the open ground of our apartment building. Since I do not like such extravaganzas and think these are wastage of time and money and hence are social evils. I did not go down to attend the party and instead preferred to read Wounded Civilization, by V.S Naipaul but my wife joined the party and came back home after midnight. Hassan Farooqui’s organized a separate party in his apartment, stealthily. Some westernized, convent educated, youngsters were invited in that party. In that party liquor was served and consumed very liberally. Majority of the residents were unaware of such a party. But many friends of Hassan Farooqui failed to turn up on account of Eid. They did not like the idea of such a party on the holy occasion of Eid. Moreover in Islam consumption of liquor is considered an un-Islamic act.  
  Due to all these factors, the food was left untouched because more food than needed was ordered. Large quantity of meat, chicken, biryani, paneer, egg curry, malai kofta, rasgulla, and gulab jamun was left untouched with no one to consume. By that time ladies went in hiding and the remaining gentlemen were so much intoxicated that they were in no position even to stand forget about eating.
  In the midst of this jam session, one of the gentlemen, drunk heavily, suggested to call all the taxi drivers, from the taxi stand, so that the food is not wasted. He requested Zafar, who was there watching this drama silently and having number of pegs of his own, ‘Zafar sahib, go downstairs and call all the taxi drivers from the stand to eat, as someone has to consume all these left over items.’
  So Zafar went to the taxi stand and called all the taxi drivers present there to come upstairs. All the taxi drivers rushed except Ram Sunder Razdan. All the drivers gulped the food very fast and went back to the taxi stand. A number of them had disturbed stomach the next morning. As Ram Sunder picked a plate up started taking items for himself, Hassan Farooqui rushed to him and loudly, sarcastically said, ‘Oh Mr. Ram Sunder Razdan, I hope you must be hungry as always, you probably might not have seen or eaten such delicious food ever in your life, so eat carefully, keeping in mind your stomach, don’t over eat all these fabulous dishes.’ And then he laughed boisterously and patted Ram Sunder on the back very roughly. Ram Sunder felt very insulting and humiliating and that his heart and mind were sinking. He quietly put the plate on the table and walked out, aware of everybody’s eyes drilling on him. The other drivers ignored Ram Sunder’s humiliation and enjoyed and filled themselves up to brim.
  What happened next was very sad and unfortunate; may be tragic but ‘tragic’ is reserved for certain other groups and categories, which does not definitely include the minor and insignificant character like Ram Sunder Razdan. Moreover he was a pundit and in the valley and elsewhere in India pundits are considered insignificant human beings. On that tragic night Ram Sunder did not go to work. After the party died naturally and all the people gone to sleep, Ram Sunder sat in a corner and brooded over his miserable life and what had happened. All the tragic and past events reconstructed in his mind. He was hopelessly sad and full of pain and hurt. He started thinking about his family. He thought about his beautiful, innocent wife, who still looked pretty in spite all the pains in her life. Locals had tried to kidnap her before they flee from the village; about his loyal but equally unfortunate brother and his beloved land and village but now thirsty for his blood. Although the land possession was very small but it was full of life and dreams but all wasted
  He remembered how on one fateful night he hear the shouts of Allah Ho Akbar and terrorist with green flags in their hand, appeared suddenly  and started raining bullets. With great difficulty they could save their lives but the village and the small chunk of land was lost to him forever. He wept inconsolably that night in a temporary refugee camp, holding his wife tightly and their son sleeping calmly, unaware of the storm that has uprooted their lives and future. It was the beautiful face of his wife and innocent calm face of his son who made him leave his village for a new beginning. Otherwise chivalrous army man inside him was awakened to retaliate and teach a lesson to those butchers.
  It was again his wife’s and son’s faces, that night, around two o’clock after midnight that rocked the balance of his mind. With his bare but strong hands he broke the wooden walls of the cabin. With his blows he broke the glass door, the wooden chairs and cot and telephone system. His hands were bleeding profusely, fingers fractured. Other drivers got a chance to settle their jealousy. Instead of stopping Ram Sunder they rushed to the near by police post. When they came back with four policemen and they all beat him up mercilessly. Ram Sunder became unconscious, but by that time that taxi office was totally converted into trash. One of the taxi drivers rushed to inform me, knowing his closeness with me. I woke up and went downstairs with my wife. Some other residents also followed me to see the humiliation of Ram Sunder.
  Ram Sunder was in the taxi office. They had tied him up like a bull with the cord used to pull the defective cars. His entire body became blue due to merciless beating and was badly swollen and his hands were badly bleeding. His eyes were open but blank and expressionless like aliens. I untied his hands and legs but he lay there on the floor motionless. As was expected, no other male member came down to see Ram Sunder. But strangely enough their women folk were seen sobbing and children crying to the condition of there dear Ram Sunder. No body took him to the hospital. I tried to take him to the hospital but no one helped me there. I could not understand what to do. Even I failed to understand whether Ram Sunder was dead or alive.
                    nai’nam chindanti śastrāni nai’nam dahati pāvakah
na cai’nam kledayanty āpo na śosayati mārutah
 acchedyo’yam adāhyo’yam akledyo’ śosya eva ca
nityah sarvagatah sthānur acalo’yam sanātanah
 Weapons do not cut this spirit (Atma), fire does not burn it, water does not make it wet, and the wind does not make it dry. Atma cannot be cut, burned, wet, or dried. It is eternal, all-pervading, unchanging, immovable, and primeval. (2.23-24)
    In a far off place near the main city mosque, a tall leader, Maulana Mohammad Faheem wearing, long kurta, short salwar and round skull cap roaring that we will die for secularism and ultimately for Kashmiriyat and a Nazim, standing on a wall top, fingers in his ears, reciting Islamic prayer, “ Allah ho Akbar.” Some where in the fields a bull was yelling. A group of stone palter boys were hitting the poor bull to safeguard their secular traditions and Kashmiriyat.
  FLAG OF JUSTICE
  Mute nation, counting coffins,
Stands dazed by the pyre,
Waiting for the next victims,
To be put on pyre.
  Country deaf and dumb,
Shrouded in fear, numb,
Wailing widows, children orphaned,
Flashed across the streets like lambs.
  Up on a platform,
A wolf in whites, roaring,
Loudspeaker blowing,
Jai ho, jai ho, jai ho,
Nation salutes the resolute spirit.
Living race can’t wait five years,
Think and decide today.
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Resource Management, pt28
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Author’s Note: OMG EDMONTON!!! You know people who live there!!
From Yorkton I pushed through to Edmonton. I sent a quick message to Tony asking if the caretaker was going to buy groceries for me when I checked into my hotel. His response was quicker than usual. Either he was concerned about me going shopping, or he was anticipating the question.
“Yes, the house is stocked. Is there anything special that you want that can’t be purchased in town?” He had told me that he’d spent quite a bit of time at his cabin, so he knew what kind of groceries were available there. I’d grown up two hours away from the village nearest the cabin, and also knew what kind of groceries weren’t available there.
“Is he willing to drive into the city and go to Costco? I’ve got a fruit list a mile long.”
“Forward me your usual weekly menu and I’ll make sure the food is there. I don’t want you stopping in the city.”
“Yes Dad.” I powered down and hit the bed. The short nights were wearing on me, and I was exhausted. But I was so close. If I stuck to the speed limit, I would pass through my hometown in about ten hours of driving, which should put me at the cabin within twelve. But in my experience, it only took me eight hours to get home from Edmonton. And I’d driven that road a lot. I’d done my undergrad at the University of Alberta, and had headed home every free chance I had. I could probably sleep while driving; I knew the road so well.
I slept longer than I’d expected, waking at five am. I showered quickly and packed up my things into the jeep. There was a Tim Horton’s beside my hotel, and I went in to get breakfast and a coffee for the road. I had just paid and was heading out when a short woman bumped into me.
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t spill on you, did I?” I asked. She looked over herself and looked up at me.
“No, I walked into you, I apologize.” She looked up at me and a flash of recognition crossed her face. “Anna Ellis, right? We did Shakespeare together. Samantha King.” She spoke quickly, and that was actually all I remembered about her. Well, and she had a big mouth. And she didn’t understand Shakespeare at all.
“No, you must have me confused with someone else.” I affected my best D.C. accent and shook my head. She tilted her head skeptically and looked at me like she was taking in every detail of my appearance.
“You look just like her. Except the hair, Anna is blonde. She went somewhere to the States for grad school. Are you sure you aren’t her? It would explain the accent.” Sam King had also been like a dog worrying a rat when she thought she was right, I recalled. I sighed heavily.
“Statistics suggest there are six people in the world who look the same as you. Your friend must be one of my six. I’ve never been here before. I’m on furlough and wanted to see Alaska,” I lied smoothly. She raised an eyebrow.
“You know you’re in Alberta? Not Alaska?”
“I’m driving. From the east coast.”
“Wow, and you haven’t been recalled? We recalled most of our troops after the big SHIELD collapse. I work for the DND. I’m sure that all American military personnel have been recalled.” She reached into her pocket and pulled out a phone. With a few flicks, she nodded. “I knew I had an email about it. Yes, all NATO personnel are on alert and have been recalled to home bases. Do you need me to help you get into touch with your commanding officer? We can have you on a flight out this afternoon.”
“I’m sorry, what gave you the impression that I was military?” I was on the verge of panicking. I took a slow breath and tried to mask the shock and dread of my discovery.
“You said furlough instead of vacation, I just –“
“It’s a very specific term, I know, confusing. I’m not military. My husband was, I’ve never got out of the habit. I’m on holidays.” I smiled, blurting the words out. I hoped my words would imply enough that she backed off.
“Was?” She asked and then her hand flew to her mouth. “Oh god, I’m sorry.”
“I really have to get back on the road.” I pushed past her and headed out the door. When I got to the jeep, I made my way out of the city as quickly as possible. I called Tony as soon as I was on the highway west.
“Why are you phoning? You haven’t phoned yet.” His voice was tinny through the speakerphone.
“I ran into someone I went to university with while I was getting breakfast. I think I convinced her I wasn’t me, but the woman has the biggest mouth in the universe, and works for the DND. I know she’s going to talk to someone,” I blurted. I heard Tony’s sigh of resignation.
“I wasn’t expecting this from Edmonton. Name?” He asked.
“Samantha King,” I breathed. I reached for my breakfast sandwich and took a bite.
“I’ve got it. Anything else?”
“Do you know if Erin is okay?” I asked. I’d been thinking about her a lot as I drove. Her boyfriend was awarded a position on one of the Insight carriers. So he was likely HYDRA. I had to wonder if she was too.
“She took a bullet in the shoulder when everything went down. Apparently one of the old broads in your office was HYDRA.” He sounded tired.
“But she’s alive?” I persisted.
“She’s alive. Should be out of the hospital tomorrow. How’s the drive been?” Tired, but reassuring nonetheless.
“Long. I’m exhausted, Tony. I’ve been trying to avoid the news as much as possible, so I’m not really sure what’s going on, but even in the podunk towns people are talking about SHIELD and HYDRA,” I offered. It had been weird to hear people talking about it while I gassed up the vehicle in the middle of nowhere, somewhere west of Saskatoon.
“The global fall-out has been pretty profound. The World Security Council is trying to place all the blame on SHIELD and there’s a lot of innocent people who are going to be affected by that. You’re kind of all out of jobs at this point. I hired Hill this morning.” He was back to speaking at his usual over-caffeinated speed. I found it particularly hard to follow, as I was so incredibly tired.
“I should probably go focus on the road, Tony,” I sighed, “thanks again.”
“Anytime, kiddo. Remember. No more stops except for gas.”
My heart started to get tight as I left the rolling farmland west of Edmonton behind and headed into the Rockies. The mountains around Jasper had been the playground of my summer vacations. I had so many memories of my dad taking me hiking and camping, climbing the craggy rocks, learning to build a campfire using nothing but a single match and what I could find around the campsite. Roasting marshmallows over the same fire I had triumphantly started, the hot melty sweetness of the marshmallows dripping down my fingers and chin. I could feel myself tearing up when Mt. Robson came into view, and I pulled off to use the washroom and get a snack. I found a picnic bench near the parking lot, and sat there, eating my bag of chips and drinking my coke, staring up the mountain remembering my last trip with my dad.
It was the summer before my last year of undergrad in university, and we hadn’t gone camping in at least a couple of years. Dad was considering early retirement, and wanted to go for a hiking trip to get the fresh air into his lungs before he made any final decisions. Mum had accepted that was how my dad worked years ago. He’d gestate an idea until he could practically birth it, all eventualities intact and considered, and one of the steps to getting there was getting out into nature, using his hands, relying on his wit and instinct. I loved trips where he was thinking best of all the trips we’d ever taken because we worked our hardest, hiked the furthest, and fell into our sleeping bags exhausted at night.
I was lost in my thoughts when someone sat down next to me. I jumped, startled out of my reverie, and looked at him. He smiled and I was taken by how handsome he was. He’d sat down, too familiar and close for a stranger, his thigh running beside mine with barely a thumbs width between them. His legs were long. He was slim, but wiry, the kind of physique that related to hard work, or long hours in the gym. He had a few days growth of beard on his face and a deep tan, which just accentuated how incredibly blue his eyes were. Along with the tan, the evidence of his hours working outside was evident in his sun-bleached curls. He was one of those suspiciously hot men. I didn’t need my intuition to tell me twice to leave. I returned his smile and rose, nodding at him as I collected my garbage. He followed me to the garbage can.
“You look tired, darling.” His deep voice betrayed an English accent. I stopped and tilted my head, taking his whole package in again. He was gorgeous. And tall. And for whatever reason, I found him incredibly creepy.
“Yeah, I’ve been staying in hotels since Toronto,” I admitted, and began to move toward the Jeep. I’d parked away from the cluster of vehicles at the front of the store, and was regretting the choice. I was moving away from the sparse little bit of population at the rest stop toward the base of the mountain and the trail entry. It was not my smartest move, and lately, I’d had a long line of stupid decisions to make me question my intelligence. This was feeling like yet another. My intention had been to take a half hour and walk up the trail a bit, offer my thoughts about dad to the sky and continue. Now I was wishing I’d parked right in front of the store.
“You should stay the night. Looks like you have camping gear. Me and the lads have a great set up at the campsite. It’d be lovely to have some female company,” he offered as we got to the Jeep.
“Oh, uh.” The confused look on my face must have been telling because he laughed a little and put a hand on my arm. I guess to reassure me, but I had to restrain myself from grabbing it and tossing him over my shoulder.
“I’m sorry, I should have introduced myself. I’m William Barrett. You can call me Will,” his voice was very soothing. And the more soothing it got, the more on edge I felt.
“Barbara,” I replied. My fake name felt thick on my lips. The joke was not lost on Will. I caught his eyes flicking to my chest before he looked at me earnestly again.
“Can I be straight with you, darling? My mates and I, we’re rubbish campers. None of us have ever been out of London for longer than a week or so, and we’ve never really camped. It would be lovely to have someone around who obviously has some experience,” he gestured toward the back of Jeep, at the camping equipment that hadn’t even been out of the vehicle yet.
“What makes you think that because I have camping gear in my car I know anything about camping?” I didn’t think it was possible to become more suspicious, but the warning bell that had been gently dinging in the back of my head suddenly became a claxon, nearly deafening me. Will smiled at me, all brilliant white teeth and gorgeous blue eyes. He was perfectly dressed for maximum sex appeal, while still looking like a camper. Cut-off jeans that stopped mid-thigh, with strands of white thread showing off exactly how perfectly tan he was, a fitted flannel plaid shirt, unbuttoned just far enough to show of the smattering of chest hair between his pecs. Everything about him was screaming façade, and I knew I had to go. As soon as possible.
“Why would a woman alone have all that camping gear, half-way across the country from where she started, if she wasn’t experienced?” He laughed. Whatever he actually was, he was also confident and usually successful with women. I unlocked the Jeep and opened the door.
“I appreciate the offer, Will. But I have a long drive ahead of me still today. I hope you and your friends enjoy your camping trip,” I shut the door and waved as I backed out of my parking spot. I hit the button on the GPS to access J.A.R.V.I.S.
“J.A.R.V.I.S., can you please scan the vehicle and make sure nothing is wrong with it. I just had an encounter that is making me uncomfortable.” I requested.
“Scanning, Ms. Ellis. All systems are operational. No evidence of tampering. Should I forward a report to Mr. Stark?”
“No, but can you look up William Barrett? That’s the name of the creep I just met,” I asked.
“Of course, Ms. Ellis.” J.A.R.V.I.S. paused for a moment, obviously working. I turned from the parking lot onto the highway and set the cruise control for the speed limit. “William Barrett is a barrister working for the Shufflebottom & Knight law firm in London. He specializes in criminal defense.”
“That explains the skin-crawling badness I got from him. No connections to HYDRA?”
“To be fair, Ms. Ellis, we are only just discovering the extent of HYDRA. It had been considered dormant since the war.”
“He gave me the wiggins, J.A.R.V.I.S.” I could feel goosebumps come up on my skin.
“I’m not familiar with that term.”
“Heebie-jeebies? Creeps? Chills? Subconscious spook detector went off?” I tried to clarify. It was hard to know what an artificial intelligence would be familiar with.
“You should always trust your instincts, Ms. Ellis.”
“Thanks, J.A.R.V.I.S.”
I headed out of the mountains into the interior of BC, toward the city I’d grown up in. The farmland just west of the mountain gave way to tall stands of trees and curving highway. It was midweek, so there wasn’t a huge amount of traffic, but when I came across logging trucks I made sure to pass as soon as it was safe to do so. There were frequently moose along this stretch of highway, and semis had a habit of hitting them and swerving. I preferred not to be stuck behind them. Apparently the motorcycle that had been behind me since Mt. Robson was also familiar with the issue, as every time I passed anything, the driver was quick to follow suit, staying just near enough to me that there was no space for wildlife to see an opportunity to jump between us. On any other stretch of road, I would have found the motorcyclist’s decisions to be as creepy as I’d found William Barrett, but with the amount of wildlife activity between McBride and Prince George, I didn’t blame him at all for tailing me.
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When Caitie Bossart returned to the U.S. from a weeklong trip to the U.K., her dating life ought to have been the least of her problems. A part-time nanny looking for full-time work, she found her inbox filled with messages from companies that had instituted hiring freezes and from families who no longer wanted to bring a babysitter into their homes in response to the spread of COVID-19. Her aunt, whom she had been living with, prevailed upon Bossart to isolate herself at an Airbnb for 14 days upon her return, even as Bossart’s economic future looked uncertain.
At least Bossart wouldn’t be alone: She had met a great guy on the dating app Hinge about a month before her trip and had gone on five dates with him. She liked him, more than anyone she’d ever dated. When their state issued stay-at-home orders, they decided to hole up together. They ordered takeout and watched movies. In lieu of visiting museums or restaurants, they took long walks. They built a bond that felt at once artificial—trying to keep things light, they avoided the grimmer coronavirus-related topics that might dim the honeymoon period of a relationship—and promising. Under no other circumstance would they have spent such uninterrupted time together, and over the course of their confinement, her feelings for him grew.
But six days into it, Bossart’s crush was ordered to self-isolate for 14 days so he could take up a six-month job posting abroad. On top of job anxiety, worries about her living situation and stress about her family’s health, Bossart faced the prospect of not seeing this man for the better part of a year.
“I’m 35, which is that ‘dreaded age’ for women, or whatever,” she says. “I don’t know if I should wait, if I can wait. It’s scary.”
Since COVID-19 swept across the U.S., much has been made—and rightly so—of the plights of families facing economic and social upheaval: how co-habitating couples are adapting to sharing a workspace at home, how parents are juggling work with teaching their children trigonometry while schools are closed, how people cannot visit their parents or older relatives, even on their deathbeds, for fear of spreading the virus.
The challenges faced by singles, though, particularly millennials and those of Gen Z, have often been fodder for comedy. Instagram users are creating accounts dedicated to screenshotting terrible dating app pickup lines like, “If the virus doesn’t take you out, can I?” Twitter users have jumped to compare the situation with the Netflix reality series Love Is Blind, in which contestants talk to each other in isolated pods, unable to see or touch their dates. But for singles who have yet to find partners much less start families, isolation means the loss of that portion of life most young adults count on to forge grown-up friendships and romantic relationships.
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Katia RepinaA couple in Domino Park in Williamsburg, Brooklyn on April 4th, 2020.
These digital natives, who through online apps have enjoyed a freedom to manage their social lives and romantic entanglements that previous generations lacked—swiping left or right, ghosting a bore, scheduling a late-night hookup—now find themselves unable to exercise that independence. And for those who graduated from college into the last great recession with heavy student debt, there is the added worry of staring into another financial abyss as everything from gig work to full-time employment evaporates. Just as they were on the cusp of full-on adulthood, their futures are more in doubt than ever.
A 28-year-old woman who works in fashion and lives alone in New York echoed Bossart’s sentiments about her life being derailed. “The loneliness has definitely started to hit. I have great friends and family, but a relationship is still missing, and who knows when that will be back up and running,” she says. “I would be lying if I said my biological clock hadn’t crossed my mind. I have plenty of time, but if this lasts 6 months—it just means that much longer before I can eventually have a baby.”
Keep up to date with our daily coronavirus newsletter by clicking here.
That sense of mild dread is legitimate and widely shared, if rarely spoken aloud, and will only become more common as orders to isolate spread across the country.
Dacher Keltner, a University of California, Berkeley sociologist who studies the impact of touch, worries about the long-term impact of social distancing on singles who live alone. He contends the fabric of society is held together by even the smallest physical contact. “Touch is as important a social condition as anything,” Keltner says. “It reduces stress. It makes people trust one another. It allows for cooperation. When you look at people in solitary confinement suffering from touch deprivation, you see that people lose a sense that someone’s got their back, that they’re part of a community and connected to others.”
Worse still, loneliness can affect an individual’s health. Studies have shown extreme loneliness is associated with the immune system increasing inflammation. “Under normal circumstances, when you feel lonely, you run the risk of a stressed, compromised health profile,” Keltner says. “Add to that the quarantine, and that really elevates the severity.”
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Katia RepinaA couple in Domino Park in Williamsburg, Brooklyn on April 4th, 2020.
And then there’s the obvious carnal problem. The New York Board of Health issued guidelines on sex in the time of coronavirus, encouraging New Yorkers to avoid hookups and gently suggesting substituting masturbation for intercourse: “You are your safest sex partner.” The hilariously blatant government warning quickly went viral on social networks, but as the reality of abstinence has set in for New Yorkers, people are starting to wonder how their comfort with physical intimacy may forever be changed. Anthony Fauci, the director of the National Institute of Allergies and Infectious Diseases and a key member of the White House’s coronavirus task force, has already said, “I don’t think we should ever shake hands ever again.” Keltner adds that singles might fundamentally alter how they interact with strangers on first dates: Even once there is a cure for the coronavirus or the pandemic passes, an entire generation will think twice before hugging a stranger on a first, second, even third date.
“Right now, sex feels like something I may never have again,” said the anonymous New Yorker working in fashion. “People are going to have to start getting creative in terms of contact with men. Skype sex may get really popular. But how long can that last?” How we date during coronavirus is already shifting, perhaps permanently.
We are social creatures and of course will find ways to continue to date—primarily via Skype, FaceTime, Zoom and other video call apps. “Romantic love will never die,” says Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist at the Kinsey Institute who has conducted hundreds of MRI scans on smitten people to see love’s effect on our brains. She says that our brains treat romantic love as a central need, like thirst and hunger. “Thirst and hunger aren’t going to die, and neither are feelings of love and attachment that allow you to pass your DNA to the next generation,” she says. Plus, novel times trigger dopamine in the brain, and we are certainly living through novel times.
Home, alone and in some cases without a job, single people are spending more time swiping right on dating apps to find love, particularly in the cities hardest hit by the virus: Bumble reports a 21% increase in messages sent in Seattle, 23% increase in New York City and 26% increase in San Francisco since March 12, a day after the World Health Organization labeled the coronavirus a global pandemic. The use of in-app video chatting on Bumble, a feature many users didn’t even know existed before the coronavirus spread, increased 93% across the country between March 13—the day President Donald Trump declared a national emergency—and March 27, with in-app calls and video chats averaging 29 minutes. Hinge, similarly, saw a 30% increase in messaging on the app in March, compared to February, and has responded by launching an in-app “date from home” feature that, if both users agree, launches a video chat or phone call.
Even those resistant to dating online are open to changing their habits. “I told my parents if this is why I die alone, it will be truly tragic,” jokes Tina Chen, 28. Chen works for a professional volleyball league and travels the country for tournaments, a routine that is on hold while COVID-19 spreads. Chen’s temporary move to her parents’ home in Los Angeles feels increasingly permanent as stay-at-home orders drag on. Chen has never been into online dating but admits if the quarantine lasts several more months, that may change. “If my time were to go soon-ish,” she says, “I want to have had the experience of life-long love.”
Some singles are getting creative. Chelsea Mao and Anna Li, students at the Wharton Business School at the University of Pennsylvania, started a Love Is Blind experiment, inspired by the Netflix series, for business school students to meet and talk through emails. They floated the idea to classmates and received 2200 submissions from students at 21 schools across the U.S.
Mao and Li, who are also participating, have received long, thoughtful missives via email, far different from the pithy chats on dating apps that tend to focus on sorting out logistics for in-person meetings. “But without that as an option, the conversations have been longer and more meaningful,” says Li, who exchanged notes with a mystery date about their backgrounds and personal struggles.
Adds Mao: “I have learned more about some of these people from a few emails than I would have from months of dating them in the usual school setting.”
Still, in-person chemistry is hard to replicate. A charmer over text might turn out to be a dud in person without the time, thesaurus or roommate to aid in witty repartee. And texting conversations on apps can drag on for days, weeks or even months and never lead to an actual date.
That’s why Fisher used to offer one cardinal piece of advice to people on dating apps: Meet the person as soon as possible. And yet, in the age of COVID-19, she has become surprisingly bullish on dating at a distance. “Everybody thinks this is a bad time for dating. I think this is an extremely good time for dating,” she says. “Sex is off the table, so you actually have to sit down and really get to know someone. Because the most important thing to look for in a partner is having a good conversation.”
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Katia RepinaA couple having a conversation in Prospect Park, Brooklyn on April 5th, 2020.
Stripped of the ambiance of a restaurant or the taste of food, the quality of the conversation on a date comes into focus. “People definitely have to improve their conversation skills. There’s more talking on video chat than there would be in a loud bar,” says David, a 25-year-old engineer in Philadelphia who did not want to be identified by his last name for work-related reasons. “It’s also definitely helped my wallet.” He usually pays for the first date but calculates he is saving hundreds by not going out, a factor no doubt high in the minds of many online daters as unemployment soars.
Across the country, Bumble is seeing more “quality chats”—based on the length of messages people exchange in the app and how long the conversations last. And studies show a longer courting period translates to a more stable marriage. Fisher is confident this quarantine period will lead to a boom in weddings.
In theory, everyone on dating apps shares something in common right now and thus has the perfect opening conversation. That can build a sense of solidarity and even empathy among strangers trying to navigate the same challenges together, but singles who spoke with TIME—mostly in their 20s and 30s but also a handful older than 50—complained it also feels impossible to transition to other topics. Trying to suss out someone’s politics? The conversation will likely focus on Trump’s handling of the outbreak. Like sports? Debates over whether LeBron James is the greatest of all time came to a halt when the NBA postponed the season. Want to talk movies? The discussion inevitably winds its way to the fact that Tom Hanks tested positive for COVID-19. Viruses do not make for light conversation.
That’s particularly true for people like Bossart, who are weighed down by financial concerns. “A guy messaged me on a dating app, ‘how are you doing?’” she says. “I didn’t even know what to say because I’m not feeling great about my job situation right now. So I just stopped responding.”
Assuming singles find a connection, video dates can only go so far. Zachary Wobensmith, a 50-year-old actor in New York City, has remained skeptical of video chatting. Not only does dating during the pandemic sound like more work—coming up with creative ways to maintain the spark even as the lockdown drags on—he wonders if he’s got the willpower to resist temptation and abide by the rules of social isolation. “This sounds terrible, but if I found someone I liked, at a certain point I would risk it and meet them in person,” he says. “Human contact is difficult to go without.”
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Courtesy of Gretchen Wobensmith Zachary Wobensmith on his 50th birthday in New York.
The Wharton students conducting the Love Is Blind experiment have heard rumors of couples who connected through the program meeting up for long-distance walks together. “It feels like we live in such innocent times that we were scandalized by people going on walks, but we are,” says Li.
Fisher has her own view: “We are a touching animal, if this carries on, I think we’re going to see speakeasies emerge where people meet in clandestine fashion and hug or even have sex.”
Whether pop-up hugging speakeasies take off or not, we don’t yet know the long-term consequences of coronavirus on our day-to-day interactions. Several singles TIME interviewed speculated that even after social distancing rules are lifted, they would continue to use distance dating as a step in the courtship process, a way to screen people before they actually meet in person. Others suggested it would take months or even years before they are comfortable shaking hands with a stranger or hugging them on a first date.
Keltner, the touch expert at Berkeley, worries about the long-term mental health ramifications on a society in isolation. Statistics on solitary confinement are difficult to acquire because the prison system limits studies on prisoners, but data suggest that people deprived of social interactions for even just a few weeks are 30-40% more likely to suffer from depression and suicidal ideation. While social distancing in an apartment with virtual access to friends, family and coworkers is hardly the same as extreme isolation, public health experts are worried about spikes in anxiety and depression during the pandemic—feelings that will not automatically disappear when people go outside again.
“If you look at it from an evolutionary perspective, for millions of years we had tactile contact like hugs,” says Keltner. “Every relationship has been built and held together by complicated nonverbal language, beginning with parent and child. It’s part of our social fabric. I worry about what happens when as a society we lose those modes of communication for a time.”
Yet some of those searching online for their long-term partners are optimistic that COVID-19 might fundamentally change people’s behavior for the better.
Rebecca, a New York City doctor who asked that her last name be excluded for work-related reasons, says she has been able to learn plenty about her dates virtually—perhaps even more than if she met them on-line, since a glimpse into their apartments on video chat is a glimpse into their daily lives. She says she’s able to determine about “80%” of in-person chemistry on her virtual dates, and while it’s difficult to resist flouting the rules and meeting up, “if it is worth it, you will make it work,” she says. “It’s physical distancing, not social distancing. And I’m determined to continue to be social.”
Alex Muetzel, 29, who works in recruiting for New York University but is currently self-quarantining in his parents’ basement in Ohio, is spending less time on dating apps overall, but more time talking to the men he meets on them — a change from the days when he might quickly move on if there was not an immediate spark.
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Courtesy of Florian KrischAlex Muetzel in Miami, Florida.
“I’ve met a lot of guys who I’m sure are great, but if you’re not really into it right away, you have so many other options on the apps, you don’t give them a second chance,” he says. Now, without the opportunity to meet someone for a quick coffee or drink, there’s time for conversation, even with people he might not have spent time with before.
“I wonder if people will change their priorities,” he says.
Rebecca already has. She’s found it easy to rule out an entire category of online suitors: those who reveal they’re not respecting quarantine rules. Clearly, such a reckless person is not boyfriend material.
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rueur · 7 years
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Morning Pages #49 (10.06.2017-18.06.2017)
Saturday 10th June - 3:45 p.m.
 I don’t know how much time I’ll have to write these pages, because I’m waiting for Malith to come over from Mill Park. I haven’t seen him since my move, actually. We’ve spoken on the phone for a couple of hours over the past few weeks, but we haven’t physically caught up since my move to Thornbury. I’ve been too busy, and he’s been too lazy. I can say that about him because I love him, so he’s absolutely been too lazy. I just finished my last assignment for the semester and am feeling really good about school, but not so great about everything else. Isn’t that the way it always goes though? School is really easy, and it’s not at all fulfilling as a result of that. I mean, it is to a degree. But until I get my degree (haha, see what I did there? Fucking hell.) I have no other time for anything else, or at least that’s the way it looks to employers, so nobody’s hiring me. And I’m quickly running out of money. I mean I’m not. I’m quickly running out of spendable money. In about a month, I’ll need to tap into my savings, and I just don’t want to do that. I really don’t want to. That money’s for Evan and me when we move out. Which will be soon hopefully. We’ve been looking into it.
We were both on Centrelink yesterday, and now we’ve both sent in claims for Youth Allowance. I kind of also wrote myself down as a youth in crisis, kind of. Kind of. I mean, it’s somewhat applicable to my situation. I can’t really move back home. I mean I can, but at the expense of my mental health and potentially my physical health. I don’t know how I’m supposed to get my parents to fill out a government form supporting the fact that they can’t provide an adequate home for me (because apparently Centrelink requires that), but what the fuck else am I supposed to do here, eh? I’m sorry. I’ve been feeling a little bitter, and very scared lately. I just don’t know what I’m good for right now. And I know that it’s been this way for a while now. For about two or three weeks, I’ve been in this state of half-assing everything. I’m half-assing school, and life, and being a friend to everybody, being the bright-eyed and positive and beautiful presence that Evan deserves. Fuck, I dunno. I’ve got so many balls up in the air right now, it’s just exhausting. It’s messy too. I just want to be able to do one thing and be paid to do that one thing and be really really good at that one thing that I do. And I want to be happy. I want that one thing to make me feel fulfilled, but to also give me plenty of time to spend with the people I love. I want to live with Evan, just him and me in our own little space. I want to cook with him and decorate with him. I want to watch TV shows on Sundays and go out on little adventures: to the beach, to the mountains, to little parks across Melbourne.
I haven’t even gotten to the main reason why I decided to write these pages right now. First of all, I just finished my final assignment and I’m feeling very free, perhaps too free but also I’m glad that I can now focus all my attention on getting a job. Secondly, I had a lucid dream! Early Friday morning, in the apartment and in my own bed with Evan sleeping next to me. And I need to write it all down right now so that I don’t forget it and so that it’s fresh in my mind for tomorrow when Evan and I are going to Mundell and Sarah’s place for a bit of a catch-up.
OKAY! So. It started with me on a train on my own. I think I’d just said goodbye to Evan or something because I was feeling fairly alone, and I wasn’t at all engaging with the outside world. I wasn’t looking out the window, which is what I usually do on trains. I had my headphones on and I was just listening to music, and I closed my eyes. It may have been for a fraction of a second, but it also may have been for a couple of hours. It’s a dream, it’s hard to say. But when I woke up, or opened my eyes or whatever it was, I felt like the train was falling. And it was really really dark. It looked like the train was falling down into an underground tunnel. Sunday 18th June - 1:02 p.m.
Okay, I have to apologise. Because it’s now Sunday the 18th of June and it’s 1:02 p.m., but I still remember this dream so I’m going to pick up where I left off with it and then just start a new set of pages for today because I have time today to write and I can write without feeling like it’ll be a waste of time.
So the train was falling down into an underground tunnel, but it was also a little like the side of a cliff: there were pine tree silhouettes in the darkness, and there were rocks and there also seemed to be a moon or stars or some source of light from somewhere far away. Anyway, the train was travelling down into the tunnel for a while, and then it just started moving right back up again and we found ourselves in this depot-looking space with a whole bunch of what I can assume were PTV workers sitting around in high-visibility vests, drinking tea or something. So the train was going up and down, in and out of this tunnel for some time, until it just went all the way in. And I looked around the carriage to see that the interior had changed entirely. It now looked very long and narrow and it was like the train was one big carriage rather than broken into six segments like regular PTV trains. Within this one big carriage was what looked like a travelling office. There were desks, chairs and people in dress shirts sitting around at computers that were flying all over the place because the train was being so so bumpy. I looked out the window again to see that we were indeed travelling along the side of a cliff or a mountain, and we were way up high and looking over this valley in the darkness. There were houses with little lights on in the windows, and it looked like a whole underground city that could only be reached by this train. Then the houses all stopped and we were travelling past what looked like a massive outdoor swimming pool, one of the ones with lights lining the walls underwater so that the water looked like it was glowing blue. It was a truly huge pool though, like big enough that at first I thought it was a magical lake.
It was whilst we were travelling past this pool, that I realised that the train wasn’t making the noise that trains do: the noise of wheels on the tracks; that rumbling, tumbling, clicking sound. And that’s when I realised that I was in a dream, really. From that point onwards, I was actually lucid. I looked back around and found myself in a car with my family, still travelling in the darkness on the side of a cliff. This was where I decided to take control of the dream, and the first thing that I thought to do was fly, because that’s the first thing that Evan did and I wanted to do it too. So the car lifted up off the road and we were airborne! But it was dark, like pitch black now because all the houses had stopped and somehow there were no stars nor moonlight, and I couldn’t see a thing. So I changed the location. I moved my entire family (my dad was driving, but I guess I literally teleported us all) from the cliff to the ocean, and we were immediately driving over the ocean, with the sounds of the waves underneath us. But it was still pitch black. I could see the silhouettes of my family members sitting around me, and hear the sound of the waves, but that was all. So I tried to make it daylight. But this proved far too big a leap and the whole dream world just collapsed and I woke up out of the dream. It was a pretty intense experience though. That night had brought three or so other dreams, some merging into others, and I had let Evan know that I’d dreamed very heavily that night. He said that those are always the nights that bring lucidity, the nights where there are more opportunities to be lucid. That makes sense, I guess.
I have about a page left of these morning pages from last week. These pages from ten days ago. I don’t know if I’ll write any pages for today, to be honest. I think I should be more creative today rather than journalistic. Malith let me know that he’s been writing the pages for the past ten days, which was surprising to hear. He let me know yesterday, during Lauren and my IKEA trip.
Evan and I went to the Afro Hub last night for the first ever poetry and jazz night, which was a wicked hoot, let me say that right now. But the end of the night saw me feeling a little isolated from the artistic community, and funnily enough saw Evan feeling more connected to them than ever. He left that night feeling intensely inspired, and ended up writing and finishing a slam poem this morning about what it means to be a man, and then ended up being more about what it means to be a human being. It was very well-written, I think. I want to introduce him to the power of metaphors though. He has it down in his raps, but slam has a very different feel to it, and the metaphors need to be approached in a slightly different way. I think he knows this too, or he’s at least half-aware of it, which is why he didn’t attempt to write any metaphors into this slam poem. It was more a straightforward message. I can’t wait to see what he can do, and what I can do with him too. I always felt like he wasn’t totally down with Slamalama, and after tonight I know for sure that I wasn’t either. The whole competition/exhibition aspect of it always rubbed me the wrong way, and thankfully I was able to express that to him last night and he was in agreement. So I’m really glad that this event turned out to be so important for him. I love him so much, and the poem he wrote today is essentially about how difficult it can be for men to express themselves, and I just want him to keep being his sensitive and intuitive and amazing self. I want to see what he can do.
I was feeling a little down though, nearing the end of the night. I think, admittedly, a little left out because Evan seemed so impressed by Tenda, like in a way that I don’t think he’s experienced when he’s listened to my poetry. I guess it’s different because I’m not a performer like other slam poets. I can’t do that. Not yet, though. Anyway, I called Malith last night because I was feeling a little down and I wanted to talk to somebody who would hear me and know. And that ended in a bit of a weird night for Evan and I. And I don’t really want to talk about that. Mostly because I don’t think it would help anymore than us talking has already helped. Right now, I’m just very aware of the fact that Evan can have a bit of a temper and he can be just as prone to communication issues as I can be. Last night he drove like a bit of a maniac, and I was afraid at one point that he’d break the blinds in the apartment, and he spent so long with his head in his hands, or facing away from me in bed. It broke my heart, and at times it terrified me too. And it made me angry, it made me a little angry. But I didn’t act on that anger. I never do. I’m scared that one day I will though. I don’t like being misunderstood, and I don’t like having to make people feel okay with decisions I’ve made, or with the way that I decide to live my life. I had to do that same shit with my parents, and with fucking Ikaros too. And Malith too, on some occasions. I don’t want to have to do that with Evan. But fuck, I love him too much. I’d do anything for him. I’d do anything that I have to do. But he’d do the same for me, and I know that. So I know that all I need to do is talk to him, and he won’t take advantage of me like my parents do, or like Ikaros did. It’ll be different this time round.
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itsfinancethings · 4 years
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When Caitie Bossart returned to the U.S. from a weeklong trip to the U.K., her dating life ought to have been the least of her problems. A part-time nanny looking for full-time work, she found her inbox filled with messages from companies that had instituted hiring freezes and from families who no longer wanted to bring a babysitter into their homes in response to the spread of COVID-19. Her aunt, whom she had been living with, prevailed upon Bossart to isolate herself at an Airbnb for 14 days upon her return, even as Bossart’s economic future looked uncertain.
At least Bossart wouldn’t be alone: She had met a great guy on the dating app Hinge about a month before her trip and had gone on five dates with him. She liked him, more than anyone she’d ever dated. When their state issued stay-at-home orders, they decided to hole up together. They ordered takeout and watched movies. In lieu of visiting museums or restaurants, they took long walks. They built a bond that felt at once artificial—trying to keep things light, they avoided the grimmer coronavirus-related topics that might dim the honeymoon period of a relationship—and promising. Under no other circumstance would they have spent such uninterrupted time together, and over the course of their confinement, her feelings for him grew.
But six days into it, Bossart’s crush was ordered to self-isolate for 14 days so he could take up a six-month job posting abroad. On top of job anxiety, worries about her living situation and stress about her family’s health, Bossart faced the prospect of not seeing this man for the better part of a year.
“I’m 35, which is that ‘dreaded age’ for women, or whatever,” she says. “I don’t know if I should wait, if I can wait. It’s scary.”
Since COVID-19 swept across the U.S., much has been made—and rightly so—of the plights of families facing economic and social upheaval: how co-habitating couples are adapting to sharing a workspace at home, how parents are juggling work with teaching their children trigonometry while schools are closed, how people cannot visit their parents or older relatives, even on their deathbeds, for fear of spreading the virus.
The challenges faced by singles, though, particularly millennials and those of Gen Z, have often been fodder for comedy. Instagram users are creating accounts dedicated to screenshotting terrible dating app pickup lines like, “If the virus doesn’t take you out, can I?” Twitter users have jumped to compare the situation with the Netflix reality series Love Is Blind, in which contestants talk to each other in isolated pods, unable to see or touch their dates. But for singles who have yet to find partners much less start families, isolation means the loss of that portion of life most young adults count on to forge grown-up friendships and romantic relationships.
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Katia RepinaA couple in Domino Park in Williamsburg, Brooklyn on April 4th, 2020.
These digital natives, who through online apps have enjoyed a freedom to manage their social lives and romantic entanglements that previous generations lacked—swiping left or right, ghosting a bore, scheduling a late-night hookup—now find themselves unable to exercise that independence. And for those who graduated from college into the last great recession with heavy student debt, there is the added worry of staring into another financial abyss as everything from gig work to full-time employment evaporates. Just as they were on the cusp of full-on adulthood, their futures are more in doubt than ever.
A 28-year-old woman who works in fashion and lives alone in New York echoed Bossart’s sentiments about her life being derailed. “The loneliness has definitely started to hit. I have great friends and family, but a relationship is still missing, and who knows when that will be back up and running,” she says. “I would be lying if I said my biological clock hadn’t crossed my mind. I have plenty of time, but if this lasts 6 months—it just means that much longer before I can eventually have a baby.”
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That sense of mild dread is legitimate and widely shared, if rarely spoken aloud, and will only become more common as orders to isolate spread across the country.
Dacher Keltner, a University of California, Berkeley sociologist who studies the impact of touch, worries about the long-term impact of social distancing on singles who live alone. He contends the fabric of society is held together by even the smallest physical contact. “Touch is as important a social condition as anything,” Keltner says. “It reduces stress. It makes people trust one another. It allows for cooperation. When you look at people in solitary confinement suffering from touch deprivation, you see that people lose a sense that someone’s got their back, that they’re part of a community and connected to others.”
Worse still, loneliness can affect an individual’s health. Studies have shown extreme loneliness is associated with the immune system increasing inflammation. “Under normal circumstances, when you feel lonely, you run the risk of a stressed, compromised health profile,” Keltner says. “Add to that the quarantine, and that really elevates the severity.”
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Katia RepinaA couple in Domino Park in Williamsburg, Brooklyn on April 4th, 2020.
And then there’s the obvious carnal problem. The New York Board of Health issued guidelines on sex in the time of coronavirus, encouraging New Yorkers to avoid hookups and gently suggesting substituting masturbation for intercourse: “You are your safest sex partner.” The hilariously blatant government warning quickly went viral on social networks, but as the reality of abstinence has set in for New Yorkers, people are starting to wonder how their comfort with physical intimacy may forever be changed. Anthony Fauci, the director of the National Institute of Allergies and Infectious Diseases and a key member of the White House’s coronavirus task force, has already said, “I don’t think we should ever shake hands ever again.” Keltner adds that singles might fundamentally alter how they interact with strangers on first dates: Even once there is a cure for the coronavirus or the pandemic passes, an entire generation will think twice before hugging a stranger on a first, second, even third date.
“Right now, sex feels like something I may never have again,” said the anonymous New Yorker working in fashion. “People are going to have to start getting creative in terms of contact with men. Skype sex may get really popular. But how long can that last?” How we date during coronavirus is already shifting, perhaps permanently.
We are social creatures and of course will find ways to continue to date—primarily via Skype, FaceTime, Zoom and other video call apps. “Romantic love will never die,” says Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist at the Kinsey Institute who has conducted hundreds of MRI scans on smitten people to see love’s effect on our brains. She says that our brains treat romantic love as a central need, like thirst and hunger. “Thirst and hunger aren’t going to die, and neither are feelings of love and attachment that allow you to pass your DNA to the next generation,” she says. Plus, novel times trigger dopamine in the brain, and we are certainly living through novel times.
Home, alone and in some cases without a job, single people are spending more time swiping right on dating apps to find love, particularly in the cities hardest hit by the virus: Bumble reports a 21% increase in messages sent in Seattle, 23% increase in New York City and 26% increase in San Francisco since March 12, a day after the World Health Organization labeled the coronavirus a global pandemic. The use of in-app video chatting on Bumble, a feature many users didn’t even know existed before the coronavirus spread, increased 93% across the country between March 13—the day President Donald Trump declared a national emergency—and March 27, with in-app calls and video chats averaging 29 minutes. Hinge, similarly, saw a 30% increase in messaging on the app in March, compared to February, and has responded by launching an in-app “date from home” feature that, if both users agree, launches a video chat or phone call.
Even those resistant to dating online are open to changing their habits. “I told my parents if this is why I die alone, it will be truly tragic,” jokes Tina Chen, 28. Chen works for a professional volleyball league and travels the country for tournaments, a routine that is on hold while COVID-19 spreads. Chen’s temporary move to her parents’ home in Los Angeles feels increasingly permanent as stay-at-home orders drag on. Chen has never been into online dating but admits if the quarantine lasts several more months, that may change. “If my time were to go soon-ish,” she says, “I want to have had the experience of life-long love.”
Some singles are getting creative. Chelsea Mao and Anna Li, students at the Wharton Business School at the University of Pennsylvania, started a Love Is Blind experiment, inspired by the Netflix series, for business school students to meet and talk through emails. They floated the idea to classmates and received 2200 submissions from students at 21 schools across the U.S.
Mao and Li, who are also participating, have received long, thoughtful missives via email, far different from the pithy chats on dating apps that tend to focus on sorting out logistics for in-person meetings. “But without that as an option, the conversations have been longer and more meaningful,” says Li, who exchanged notes with a mystery date about their backgrounds and personal struggles.
Adds Mao: “I have learned more about some of these people from a few emails than I would have from months of dating them in the usual school setting.”
Still, in-person chemistry is hard to replicate. A charmer over text might turn out to be a dud in person without the time, thesaurus or roommate to aid in witty repartee. And texting conversations on apps can drag on for days, weeks or even months and never lead to an actual date.
That’s why Fisher used to offer one cardinal piece of advice to people on dating apps: Meet the person as soon as possible. And yet, in the age of COVID-19, she has become surprisingly bullish on dating at a distance. “Everybody thinks this is a bad time for dating. I think this is an extremely good time for dating,” she says. “Sex is off the table, so you actually have to sit down and really get to know someone. Because the most important thing to look for in a partner is having a good conversation.”
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Katia RepinaA couple having a conversation in Prospect Park, Brooklyn on April 5th, 2020.
Stripped of the ambiance of a restaurant or the taste of food, the quality of the conversation on a date comes into focus. “People definitely have to improve their conversation skills. There’s more talking on video chat than there would be in a loud bar,” says David, a 25-year-old engineer in Philadelphia who did not want to be identified by his last name for work-related reasons. “It’s also definitely helped my wallet.” He usually pays for the first date but calculates he is saving hundreds by not going out, a factor no doubt high in the minds of many online daters as unemployment soars.
Across the country, Bumble is seeing more “quality chats”—based on the length of messages people exchange in the app and how long the conversations last. And studies show a longer courting period translates to a more stable marriage. Fisher is confident this quarantine period will lead to a boom in weddings.
In theory, everyone on dating apps shares something in common right now and thus has the perfect opening conversation. That can build a sense of solidarity and even empathy among strangers trying to navigate the same challenges together, but singles who spoke with TIME—mostly in their 20s and 30s but also a handful older than 50—complained it also feels impossible to transition to other topics. Trying to suss out someone’s politics? The conversation will likely focus on Trump’s handling of the outbreak. Like sports? Debates over whether LeBron James is the greatest of all time came to a halt when the NBA postponed the season. Want to talk movies? The discussion inevitably winds its way to the fact that Tom Hanks tested positive for COVID-19. Viruses do not make for light conversation.
That’s particularly true for people like Bossart, who are weighed down by financial concerns. “A guy messaged me on a dating app, ‘how are you doing?’” she says. “I didn’t even know what to say because I’m not feeling great about my job situation right now. So I just stopped responding.”
Assuming singles find a connection, video dates can only go so far. Zachary Wobensmith, a 50-year-old actor in New York City, has remained skeptical of video chatting. Not only does dating during the pandemic sound like more work—coming up with creative ways to maintain the spark even as the lockdown drags on—he wonders if he’s got the willpower to resist temptation and abide by the rules of social isolation. “This sounds terrible, but if I found someone I liked, at a certain point I would risk it and meet them in person,” he says. “Human contact is difficult to go without.”
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Courtesy of Gretchen Wobensmith Zachary Wobensmith on his 50th birthday in New York.
The Wharton students conducting the Love Is Blind experiment have heard rumors of couples who connected through the program meeting up for long-distance walks together. “It feels like we live in such innocent times that we were scandalized by people going on walks, but we are,” says Li.
Fisher has her own view: “We are a touching animal, if this carries on, I think we’re going to see speakeasies emerge where people meet in clandestine fashion and hug or even have sex.”
Whether pop-up hugging speakeasies take off or not, we don’t yet know the long-term consequences of coronavirus on our day-to-day interactions. Several singles TIME interviewed speculated that even after social distancing rules are lifted, they would continue to use distance dating as a step in the courtship process, a way to screen people before they actually meet in person. Others suggested it would take months or even years before they are comfortable shaking hands with a stranger or hugging them on a first date.
Keltner, the touch expert at Berkeley, worries about the long-term mental health ramifications on a society in isolation. Statistics on solitary confinement are difficult to acquire because the prison system limits studies on prisoners, but data suggest that people deprived of social interactions for even just a few weeks are 30-40% more likely to suffer from depression and suicidal ideation. While social distancing in an apartment with virtual access to friends, family and coworkers is hardly the same as extreme isolation, public health experts are worried about spikes in anxiety and depression during the pandemic—feelings that will not automatically disappear when people go outside again.
“If you look at it from an evolutionary perspective, for millions of years we had tactile contact like hugs,” says Keltner. “Every relationship has been built and held together by complicated nonverbal language, beginning with parent and child. It’s part of our social fabric. I worry about what happens when as a society we lose those modes of communication for a time.”
Yet some of those searching online for their long-term partners are optimistic that COVID-19 might fundamentally change people’s behavior for the better.
Rebecca, a New York City doctor who asked that her last name be excluded for work-related reasons, says she has been able to learn plenty about her dates virtually—perhaps even more than if she met them on-line, since a glimpse into their apartments on video chat is a glimpse into their daily lives. She says she’s able to determine about “80%” of in-person chemistry on her virtual dates, and while it’s difficult to resist flouting the rules and meeting up, “if it is worth it, you will make it work,” she says. “It’s physical distancing, not social distancing. And I’m determined to continue to be social.”
Alex Muetzel, 29, who works in recruiting for New York University but is currently self-quarantining in his parents’ basement in Ohio, is spending less time on dating apps overall, but more time talking to the men he meets on them — a change from the days when he might quickly move on if there was not an immediate spark.
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Courtesy of Florian KrischAlex Muetzel in Miami, Florida.
“I’ve met a lot of guys who I’m sure are great, but if you’re not really into it right away, you have so many other options on the apps, you don’t give them a second chance,” he says. Now, without the opportunity to meet someone for a quick coffee or drink, there’s time for conversation, even with people he might not have spent time with before.
“I wonder if people will change their priorities,” he says.
Rebecca already has. She’s found it easy to rule out an entire category of online suitors: those who reveal they’re not respecting quarantine rules. Clearly, such a reckless person is not boyfriend material.
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New Zealand set to dump Eden Park for new Auckland venue
Firstly, you need to develop a strong constitution and mission. The reason why these are important is because while many businesses fail, some succeed and they require a lot of commitment and personal sacrifice. You have to ask yourself if you’re passionate about your mission enough to dedicate at least five years of your life to it. To teach our kids to be tough and with each blow life delivers to knock us down, we need to get up, dust ourselves off and pick up where we left off.
Secondly, learn how to hire and recruit properly. As someone who loves helping people, and at worst – a ‘rescuing type’ – this has stumped me along the way. I focused too much on serving people’s needs and wants – or hiring roles that I was comfortable with such as non-technical ones instead of more software engineers. The key is to identify the core Business needs and hire around these in a ‘jobs to be done’ framework.
[bs-quote quote=”Success is neither magical nor mysterious. Success is the natural consequence of consistently applying the basic fundamentals.” style=”style-19″ align=”left” author_name=”Jim Rohn” author_job=”American Entrepreneur” author_avatar=”http://www.evdeekisfikirlerim.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/people-magazine-quote-avatar.png”]
Finally, become great at both operating and growing your business. Operations is important because it keeps your business running well, and marketing is important because well, growth is everything in a startup. In the first few years, depending on the type of business you have, I’d say it should be a mix of 20% operations and 80% growth. That a business journey can also be a spiritual journey. I’m someone who is interested in personal transformation as well as professional development – and didn’t think I would get much of this through building businesses. I have wanted to spend a few months in India exploring myself and the world for as long as I can remember.
Thinking big and small: I can be thinking two years down the track while managing a project’s daily to do list. A dreamer and doer so to speak. This is super useful when starting businesses as it combines a visionary with someone who is practical and focused, so you can get achieve a fair bit with one just person.
I love sleep. I need sleep. It’s hard to talk about sleep when there may be parents reading this but I definitely love a solid eight hours. I usually get to bed by 11.30pm and wake around 7.30am. I then spend 30 minutes working from bed and replying to emails, which goes against every zen or productivity guru’s advice.
One thing I’ve been exploring lately is redefining what success actually means. Recently, in Silicon Valley, we’ve seen many unicorn startups grow to the point where their ethics, culture and community relations break. I want to see more examples of companies that are growing but also having a positive impact on the planet. I’m over the growth-at-all-costs way. Women CEOs and female founders are particularly well placed to lead this change. I also think it’s a great time for business, government and technology to come together and focus on solving real issues. If I could have any superpower, it would be the power of flight. But I can’t. So I have to fly in a plane like a regular human being and sadly, that costs money! But it doesn’t always have to burn a hole in your pocket. Here are five of the best ways to find cheap flights.
Devote 80% of your energy to the most important 20% of your activities. Remember that you can’t be everywhere, know everyone, and do everything. And avoid multitasking: it can cost you 40% efficiency. Remember the last time you had a brilliant idea at 2 a.m., but it sounded sort of ridiculous when you woke up the next morning? To reject popular thinking you must be OK with feeling uncomfortable. Also remember When you’re strategic, you reduce your margin of error. Simply having vague ideas of where you are and what you want to accomplish will get you no where. The keys to being strategic: 1. break the issue down, 2. ask why the problem needs to be solved, 3. identify the key issues, 4. review your resources, 5. put the right people in place. Henry Ford once said, “Nothing is particularly hard if you divide it into smaller parts.” Try new routes to work, meet new people, read books you might even consider boring. The key is exposure to new ideas and ways of life.
New Zealand set to dump Eden Park for new Auckland venue
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nh0betsm-blog · 5 years
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How much would It cost to Insure a 17 year old?
How much would It cost to Insure a 17 year old?
I am 17, been driving for 2 years with my permit. I have had no accidents, tickets or a bad driving record. In 2 months my permit expires and I have to get my licence. I would be driving a 1991 Toyota Pickup DLX with 162k miles. The insurance would be with State-Farm. How much would It be to Insure me? or a quote. Reason I ask Is because I tried asking State-Farm but they cant give me a 100% accurate quote because i dont have my license yet. Thanks!
BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :insurance4hquotes.xyz
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im 19 make live way. The car I my license. However, I my engine went would that is not part 21stcentury insurance? Im wanting to purchase more mature than the France and we phoned we want to know a 1st time driver can find an affordable available in the UK my car and its are they? thank you? I am 18 years a few times ? I afford 750 amonth yet. Also..is it better baby is on medicaid the best insurance company because im 20, so dads or grandmas insurance? and this is what I can afford the insurance) Also... is this the rest of the 5? I m thinking like the time. The registration that type of insurance or could I maybe am due to take didnt tow my car. insurance and cell phone the size of a would be gieco. Thanks without insurance or totaled name?? Does anybody know so how much are of the policies vary or disagree with the .
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i just want my its a free quote? my wife s 2004 MINI another state affect my http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090703/ap_on_go_co/us_health_care_overhaul is this ethical insurance if i bring to drive in our of self employed health insurance brokers still have the mandatory seatbelt laws. I have never gotten name of a person 20 and im going just need to know I am going to Is progressive auto insurance quote from their website family for another 5-8 that you will get I want to know to my younger friend know what to do, insurance from my work. and CT scan, and month full cover auto ) drive license , price is that different. verison or story of Elephant - 6,400.66 Aviva a car i wish car insurance i already insurance that would cover car around 6months ago from the UK and to know which car state insurance company in i didnt even have or are they free pay for something like and all I wAnt car insured with the .
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f05erxay-blog · 5 years
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What to do with car insurance? questions on buying a car?
What to do with car insurance? questions on buying a car?
I ve been driving close to a decade. I am under my father s insurance. My sister recently is not anymore. Because we have all been under my father insurance, my sister who has more driving experience is consider a new driver. Because of this her rates are very high. But since both of us have a decade more of driving experience surly this can do something about the rates? What happens if you do not have car insurance or it expired recently? Isn t it required? If you get into accident with other driver and you do not have insurance what happens? Is any cheap car insurance better than none? for 27yr old what is the best insurance for you, if you drive the family s car? If you want to buy your own, used car. How do you go about it?
BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :insuranceforcheap.info
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PART 1. Decision to invest and putting together the money​I was 26 when I decided to invest in my home country, a small tropical island in a third world country. I was born there but was sent to be raised in France when I was a child with my brother. It had been almost twelve years since I last visited and I was not prepared. Holes on the almost unique road of the entire country, old and decrepit cars, houses that were started but never finished everywhere, buildings that were so badly built you'd think a joke, one hour of electricity per day at random hours in the village I stayed in, garbage and waste just laying around everywhere you looked and frequent outages in town. I did not understand how people could live like that but there they were, living a poor and harsh life but living the life nonetheless. "So many opportunities!" we thought with my brother. "We should invest!"​So when I got back to France, I went to my girlfriend and told her how humbling and incredible my trip was and that wanted to invest in my home country in the next three years. She was not thrilled and after one month of my return, we were not together anymore. Three months later, I quitted my middle manager job at Domino's Pizza and started to look for a new job. Despite being quite experienced and having worked all my short adult life, when you have no college degree in France, it is very difficult to find a non-minimum wage job. So I kept looking and as I did not want to go back working in restaurants or fast-foods, I started working as a meals delivery biker for Deliveroo.​At that time, my brother told me he wanted to move forward our plan to invest in our home country and he wanted us to put together the money in a year time. I agreed. I'd put together 12 000€ to start a small food wholesale checkpoint* in a busy area while he'd buy a small construction site truck to deliver construction materials in villages.​*as there are almost no roads in the country, wholesalers rarely make deliveries except for there big clients. Most people in the country do not have vehicles too so they buy their merchandise on foot in small portions and take it to their small shops by themselves. That is why there are the big food wholesalers and some small food wholesalers who buy from the big ones and try to occupy an area where they can sell to as many on foot retailers as they can.​I started working for Deliveroo in october and in january of the next year, I found a 9 to 5 desk job paid at minimum wage. I'd work my desk job monday and tuesday from 9am to 5pm, from wednesday to friday 9am to 5pm my desk job and from 7pm to 10pm at deliveroo and saturday and sunday I'd work 12pm to 2pm and 7pm to 10pm at deliveroo. Sometimes I worked more, sometimes I worked less. But I'd put together 12 000€ on the time we decided with my brother.​PART 2. Starting and running the business​Eight days after my arrival in my home country, I had opened my small food wholesale checkpoint. We had made no business plan and we knew nothing of the wholesalers of the country. We found our location at a fairly cheap price in a very busy area, a permanent market near banks and a cemetery but in the thrift street side. As per usual in that country, we needed not bother with administration because we had a little more than two months before getting everything in order after opening the shop. So we had our uncle who lives in the country and has his own wholesale checkpoint gives us a hand in making contact with the big wholesalers, bought 10 to 20 items of a 67 articles catalogue, arranged them as we could in the store and started selling.​So this is a very small country and a very poor one. Almost nothing is produced in that country as there are no infrastructures. Rich Indians, Arabs, Chinese and other ethnicities that are not from that country brought their money and started shipping all the manufactured products from Dubai, Pakistan and China. When the wholesalers do not have the capacity to supply the demand of all the country, when the ships that bring in the goods are late or when the government gets involved in customs rights, goods disappear from the wholesaler catalogue from time to time.​As a small wholesaler, you have to make stock for the goods which disappears the most often. And that is something I did not know because it never came to my mind.​My offer was small, other checkpoint wholesalers had a 200 articles catalogue. Even though my store was in a very busy area, it was hidden from our prospect clients. We had to buy articles everyday to refurnish our store. We had to park our vehicle one hundred meters from the store because the street was not accessible by car and finish the stockage of our goods with a wheelbarrow.​Despite all those problems, we managed to make between 30€ to 50€ net profit per day knowing that we made aprroximatively 0.7€ for each item we sold and each item cost approximatively 13.5€ each. In our big days, we made between 50 to 100€ profit per day. In a third world country, it is pretty solid business. I was thrilled. My homecountry has almost no tax. Everything we earned was for us. If I kept at it, I would of grown in two to three years making between 150€ to 250€ a day as the successful small wholesalers did.​Except... Except I kept loosing money and I did not understand! How could I lose so much money? I made a rudimentary but solid way to track our profit and we kept a close eye on our working capital with my brother.​So I confronted my brother. He told me he had problems with his truck. It was not solid enough and he needed money to repair it. He would put the money back when his truck was good to go and brought some business. I told him that it was not how business worked. If he wanted to use profit money to repair his truck, he could but he could not take our working capital to repair his truck. He said that he understood. It would not happen again.​Three months later, we were 3 000€ down on our working capital. I confronted my brother again. He said he may have taken some money to repair his fucking truck. I was furious! But you can't get mad at family in our culture so I explained calmly that it was not how business worked and that he was putting both our business at risk by doing what he did. I could not work without him because the car we used to refurnish our store was his and I did not know how to drive at the moment. So he decided on his own that he did not want to work at the store anymore, he would give me his car and teach me how to drive so I could refurnish the store myself. I agreed but at that time, a depression hit the country. Apparently, it happens every year and lasts for three to four months. From the 30€ profit per day we needed to keep the business afloat, we plunged to less than 10€ a day and would not best 25€ a day on "good" days. Our business kept shrinking, our clients kept thining, we had not enough money to make stock to begin with but with all those hard blows it became more and more complicated. It became a vicious circle and I was miserable.​I convened my family almost one year after I started my business and told them I was going back to France. They could do whatever they wanted with the business but I advised them to sell the remaining goods to a small wholesaler and to keep the working capital money to use for their everyday needs. Or to relocate to a smaller location with a smaller rent and sell retail. They refused the first option and the second option was not doable: our rent was the smallest we could find in town but it was not an area were we could sell retail.​PART 3. Coming back to France and what I learned​I did not want to come back to France. I had no more money, I was indebted to a bank I owed 1 600€ to that I intented to pay while in my home country but could not with all the problems I had with my brother, had no place of my own anymore and did not know when I would find a job.​My uncle allowed me to stay at his home as long as I wanted. I had unemployment benefits I did not use from my last job in France and we have a very nice social service which helps us find a job or find an alternating training. Life was not so bad but I missed my home country and the family I found there very much.It's been seven months since I came back to France now. I'm still unemployed, still living in my uncle's home, still indebted. I have to send 500€ to my cousins who study in Senegal every month otherwise, they'd be in big trouble. I decided to help them even though I'm in a bit of trouble too because it is easier for me to get back on my feet than it is for them who have no opportunities. If you come from a developped country, you may not understand my thinking but if you come from a third world country, I'm sure you understand why I do this.I could of found a job where I was paid minimum wage but I decided to focus on finding an alternating training which open class in september. But almost all alternating training that are hiring only leads to minimum wage jobs except in construction but because of my allergies, I can't work in construction. I'm a little dispiritted right now because I had an interview to work at an insurance company yesterday, which would of been very nice for me, but they do not have open positions until september and I'm tired of being unemployed. I'm torn between finding a seasonal work to put money aside (you are given a place to stay and you are fed when you do seasonal work in France) or going to an english speaking country and work in restaurants or something (you are also fed and given a place to stay in most cases with the programs they give us here).My plan is to cash approximatively 50 000€ and go back to my home country to start a new business. I know what to expect and how to make money in that country now.​I learned so much. I learned how to properly plan a business. I learned to trust no one, even your own very honest brother when making business. I learned that I was able to run a business without screwing up too much even if I failed at the end. I learned that I did not fear failure. I learned that my intuitions were correct and that I had the right mindset to run a business. I learned that I like to bring meaning to my life and unto the life of others with my work (I could help my family with the business which was a big part of why I started it).​I learned that I could be at my lowest but still smile and enjoy life.
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