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#but it's also just good to breathe life into an uninteresting shade that I don't really wear
sergle · 1 year
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Your nails look so pretty! If you don't mind me asking, I've never mixed nail polish colors before but now I really want to. Is it that you later them on top of eachother, or do you actually mix the liquids before applying? And if you mix the liquids, do you pour them into some other container? How do you know how much to use? Do you use an eye dropper or some other kind of tools? What do you stir them with? Sorry that this is a lot of questions 😅
Omg... It's less complicated than you're thinking! It basically goes like this for me, for when I want to make myself a Whole bottle of a color: I'll use a not-new bottle of polish with a base color I don't really like. I had a bottle of bright yellow that I didn't really like the formula, and I didn't really wear the color. Then I just kinda. reach for other polishes and pour them directly into the bottle! arbitrary amounts at a time. For the goldenrod color, I used some really bright orange, a couple drops of black, some neutral jelly polish and a few drops of white. I also normally add some drops of polish thinner, if the polish has thickened, but it's optional tbh. As far as mixing it together in a nice homogenous way, most nail polish has a couple of small steel balls in the bottle, specifically to mix the polish up! So, if you're shaking up a bottle of polish and you hear clicking, that's what that sound is. I just shake the shit out the bottle until the color evens out, and I swatch it a few times, adding more drops of polish until it turns into the color I want. tl;dr you just pour the polish all in the bottle. But for very small batches, you can buy miniature nail polish bottles for really cheap!
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the fact is • jeon jeongguk
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plot – you're a waitress that gets stuck serving jeon jeongguk, who can't make his mind up on what to eat.
words – 6.4K
"Indecisive snot, aren't you?"
The words are out before you could stop them. Your natural instinct is to take it back and apologize, but this idiot has pushed you over the edge. He has changed his order six times and that was after adding sides and removing this or that. The customer - the arrogant brat of a chaebol, you thought to yourself - looking at his menu snapped his gaze to you, eyes widening in surprise, disbelief and was that intrigue? Nope. Probably just a trick of the light.
"Excuse me?" He says, eyebrows still raised to high heaven.
You weigh your options silently for a few moments. You could try and kiss his ass and loose your job. Or you could finish what you started and loose your job. Because there was no question, you were loosing your job. Speaking to a customer like that, in a restaurant as high end as this? The ultimate no-no.
The choice was a no brainer.
You give him a flat look, "Are you deaf?"
A surprised scoff leaves him and for a moment he stares at you, and then a smirk pulls at the corners of his mouth. "Do you not know who I am?"
"Of course I know who you are, Jeon Jeongguk, I don't live under a rock." You roll your eyes at him.
"Huh." He frowns at you.
You frown back, "What?"
"I've never met someone so . . . outspoken before. Normally people are all compliments and well wishes." Jeongguk doesn't say how delightfully refreshing it is. Like a spring breeze, spreading through his veins and breathing colour into his monotonous life. This is the most excitement he's had since he went parachuting eight months ago. That is a sad thought, but unfortunately a true one.
"Yeah, well," You shrug, tapping your pen against your notebook. "Kissing ass and lying are two things that didn't make it onto my list of qualities."
"Speaking your mind, obviously did." He notes, still smirking.
"Excellent observational skills there, Sherlock." You deadpan.
Jeongguk laughs and you don't like the way it makes warmth simmer in your belly. He looks up at you with dark eyes and you privately think for all that the media gets wrong, they have one thing right. Jeon Jeongguk is ridiculously attractive. "What's your name?"
"Are you blind or illiterate?" You raise a brow down at him. He looks caught off guard for a moment.
"Um...neither?" It comes out unsure, hesitant.
"Then what exactly is stopping you from reading my name badge?" You ask, tapping the badge on your chest with your pen. You were already losing your job, so you might as well make the best of it.
He looks embarrassed for a second, eyes dropping to the table, cheeks dusting the faintest shade of pink.
You raise a brow, "So, are you going to order or are you going to complain to my manager and get me fired?"
"Fired for what?" He asks.
You want to snap at him, but the genuine confusion in his eyes made you hold your tongue. For once. In a 'duh' tone, you tell him. "Speaking my mind."
"Ah. Right." Realisation lights up in his eyes. "I could have you fired for speaking to me like that." He says, like the thought never occurred to him.
"I'll go get my manager then." You say and turn on your heel, not at all surprised.
Jeongguk's mind goes into an epic panic as you turn your back on him and he blurts a quick, "Wait."
"What?" You ask, turning back to him with an uninterested look.
"I said that I could. Not that I would." He tells you and it makes your speechless for about five seconds.
Then you squint at him with a slight glare, "What do you want?"
"Excuse me?"
"You obviously want something in exchange for keeping quiet. What is it?" You speak matter-of-factly. After a moment you add, "Just know, if it's something sexual or in that direction, I'd rather loose my job."
Jeongguk gapes at you, looking stunned. "I don't know whether to be insulted by the insinuation that I need to blackmail someone into sleeping with me or that you'd rather loose your job than sleeping with me."
"So sorry for offending your delicate sensibilities." You drawled sarcastically. "You still haven't told me what you want."
"Well, I like coming here often and when I do and you're my server, I'd like you to always speak your mind around me." He said, with the smallest of shrugs, looking down at the silverware on the table instead of at you.
Confusion sweeps through you, his request catching you off guard. "Really? That's it?"
"Yes." He nods stiffly.
"I don't understand." You admit.
"You don't have to. You asked me what I want, this is it." He looks at you again, eyes still dark and piercing and you can't understand what he's thinking.
"Fine, okay, yeah, I can do that." You nods eventually, noticing how his shoulders untense just a bit. You look at him, curious and full of questions, but cautious enough to not actually ask. "Are you gonna order now?"
"Why don't you surprise me? I can't decide what I want to eat." He says, handing you the menu.
"I'm shocked." You deadpan with a faux smile, before looking at him seriously. "Are you allergic to anything?"
"No." He shakes his head, lacing his fingers together and resting his hands on the table.
Your mind races for a few moments before settling on a dish. You nod at Jeongguk. "Okay, I'll be back with your food in a while then."
***
Three weeks later, you haven't served Jeongguk again. It's not that he hasn't been in, oh no, he has. You've seen him, caught him staring and then looking away quickly. He just hasn't sat at one of your tables again. Each week, the tables get rotated and there is four rotations, so you'll only be on Jeongguk's usual table next week.
You walked into the kitchen, just coming off your lunch break when Lee stops you and says, "Table 12 for you."
You look at Jae, who was on table 12 this week and got a hostile glare. You ignore her and look at Lee with confusion, "But I'm not on table 12 today."
"You were requested and customers here get what they want." Lee shrugs, giving you a 'it is what it is' look.
"By who?" You ask, having some idea of the answer. There is only one customer you know that would request you. You are always polite to the other customers but with an air of detachment, that keeps them from prying and you from getting into trouble. Until three weeks ago, that is.
"Jeon Jeongguk." Lee says, confirming your suspicions.
"Motherfucker." You swear.
Jae looks down her nose from you, "Don't he used to it. It won't last. He'll get bored of you soon enough."
"I hope so." You huff, as Jae walks away with a less than pleased expression.
"What?" Lee asks, her shock obvious.
"You heard me."
Lee tilts her head at you in disbelief and curiousity, "So, you're not trying to get into his pants?"
"Uh, no." You frown at her. Sure, he's hot but you know your place. You also need money than you need to get laid. "Why?"
"Most girls try when they work here, but everytime they try something, Mr. Jeon complains and they get fired." Lee explains.
Something suddenly made sense to you, "Is that what Jae's trying to do?"
"No one will say it to her face, but yeah, it is." Lee nods, shrugging a little. "She's jealous that he requested you, when you've worked here just over a month, served him once, and she's worked here for almost two years and he hasn't blinked in her direction."
"Huh," You frown, lost in your thoughts. "I wonder why he didn't get me fired then."
"Why? What did you say to him?" Lee eyes you curiously.
"Called him an indecisive snot." You smirk gleefully, happy that you got away with talking to him like you want and not getting fired because of it.
"Right." Lee says in a tone that made it clear she doesn't believe you.
"I did." You insist.
Lee waves you off, and you exit the kitchen, walking into the dining room, heading over to Jeongguk's regular table.
You look at him as he comes into your line of direct sight. His one leg was shaking, eyes shifting around the room, fingers tapping the table restlessly. When he spots you walking over to him, he stills completely. A smile - a cute one, you admit to yourself and no one else - spreads on his lips as he breathes your name, "Y/N."
You give him a look, "Did you miss me or something?"
"What? No." Jeongguk scoffs quickly. "I was bored. And you cure my boredom."
You raise your eyebrows at him, head going forward a little, "I cure your boredom?" You repeat, slowly. Maybe he's kidding.
But Jeongguk just nods at you as if it makes all the sense in the world, "Yeah. It's like live entertainment while I eat."
You scowl at him, "I'm not a circus clown."
"That's not what I meant!" He exclaims, voice a little too loud, causing heads to swivel in your direction. He takes a breath and speaks again, softer this time. "I just meant that it's nice. Or it was nice, the one time I actually got to talk to you."
"So, you did miss me." You tease good naturedly. Jeongguk doesn't answer, just stares resolutely down at the table. You sigh, feeling fond instead of annoyed. You hide a smile as you ask, "What will it be today?"
Jeongguk looks at you again, hesitantly at first, then fully when he sees your expectant gaze, "Surprise me."
Now you were surprised, "Again?"
"I liked what you ordered last time." He does that small shrug again. Actually, it's less of a shrug, and more a slight lift of the shoulders. You notice that he has broad shoulders, and the suit he's wearing only makes them look better. You push those thoughts away, focusing on the conversation.
"And if you don't like it this time?" You challenge.
"I did say surprise me, and surprises can be positive or negative." Jeongguk decides not to tell her that this is his favorite restaurant and he knows the menu by heart. He knows and likes every dish, so there was no way he wouldn't like something she serves him. And he's curious as to what she'll decide this time.
You snort, laughing lightly, "You know, you're not as bad as I thought you were."
Jeongguk looks mildly offended, "I'll have you know, I'm a catch."
"I'm sure." You nod, hiding a grin.
"I am." He insists and you had to admit, he is attractive.
"Yes, right up until the moment you open your mouth." You say honestly, writing down one of the dishes on the menu.
"Rude." He pouts a little and you suppress the urge to giggle, of all things.
"Maybe," You concede. "But it's the truth." You picked up his menu, turning on your heel to go to the kitchen.
"So, how do I . . . improve?" Jeongguk asks when you come back with his food, continuing with the conversation where you left off.
"Do I look like a life coach to you?" You set down the food. "Enjoy."
"Thanks." Jeongguk grins at her. "And, no, but if I went to one they'd tell me what they think I want to hear, not what I need to hear."
You stare at him for a few seconds and he looks back unflinchingly. "Well," You press your lips together. "I guess you should start with why you want to change."
That makes Jeongguk falter. He can't very well say, 'so I can impress you, since my money doesn't seem too' and he thinks for a bit. "I have come to realise that maybe I treat people unfairly based on how much money they have. I would like to change that."
Your eyebrows goes up, "That's surprisingly deep, coming from you."
"I'm not swallow." He defends himself.
You nod complacently, "Right, well, the answer is easy but actually doing it, will all depend on you."
"What do I do?"
"Just, think before you say something. Ask yourself, can my words hurt this person?"
"And if they deserve it?" Jeongguk wonders.
"The right answer would be to still be considerate, because two wrongs don't make a right, but I hate being a hypocrite, so go for it, if they deserve it. I mean, it's not like I held back when you annoyed me." You gave a shrug. "I should go. We're not allowed to loiter at the tables."
Jeongguk wants to ask her to sit with him and keep him company some more, but he knows he would be setting himself up for rejection. Instead, he just looks at her with a half smile. "Just when I think I have you all figured out, you do or say something that proves me wrong."
"My mom always used to say, you can spend a lifetime with someone and still learn something new about them every day. People evolve everyday and you'll never be who you are right now, tomorrow again."
"She sounds like a wise woman." Jeongguk remarks.
You smile, nostalgia making your heart warm, "Yeah, she was."
"I'm sorry." Jeongguk says, catching onto the past tense. A lump forms in your throat out of nowhere.
"Thank you." You swallowed thickly, clearing your throat. You gave him a shaky smile, hoping he wouldn't notice. "See, you're doing better already."
Jeongguk did notice but decided not to call her out on it. He just smiled up at her softly, watching after her figure when she walks away.
***
"You know, if I didn't know that you come here everyday, I'd say you that you are stalking me." You teased Jeongguk when you go to take his order for the fifth time in a row. You've had a day off, inbetween, but when you showed up for your next shift, Jeongguk was there and everytime he's requested you. By now, whoever was on rotation for his table, just lets you know whenever he shows up.
"And how do you know that?" Jeongguk raises a curious eyebrow at you.
"I complained to Lee about you and she told me." You explain to him, mentally running over the menu in your head. Jeongguk told you on the third day to just order for him everytime. So, when you walk to his table under the guise of taking his order, the two of you just talk.
"Lee?" He inquires.
"She's my friend and another server here."
"Ah." Jeongguk nods in realisation. "Can I ask you a personal question?"
"You can ask, but that doesn't guarantee I'll answer." You say, giving him a cheeky smile.
She has a beautiful smile, Jeongguk thinks to himself. He shakes himself out of his thoughts and looks her in the eyes, "Do you have a boyfriend?"
You frown down at him, finding the question odd. He's never asked anything too personal. Just normal things, what you're studying, what you do when you're not working. Sometimes you'll tell him a story of something dumb you did as a kid, but he'll never outright ask. "No."
A thought suddenly occurs to Jeongguk and he doesn't really want to ask because that'll destroy every hope he has but he needs to know. He quirks a brow at her, "Girlfriend?"
You snort at the question, "No, I'm straight. My cousin swings both ways though. Nearly gave his mom a stroke when he came out at our annual Christmas family dinner two years ago."
"Oh." Jeongguk wants to sag in relief, wants to let out a thankful cheer, but settles for just a small smile and letting out a breath of relief.
"Why are you asking?"
He does that little shrug that isn't really a shrug thing. "I was just wondering. You never really talk about one, or even someone you're interested in."
"Okay, if there was someone, why would I tell you?" You are teasing, but he doesn't know as you look at him blankly.
"I was just curious." Jeongguk huffs defensively.
"Yeah, yeah, settle down." You snicker. After a moment you say, "I guess I don't talk about it because there hasn't been anyone to talk about."
"Really?" Jeongguk beams up at you hopefully, eyes glittering.
"Really." You roll your eyes, but there was a slight warmth in your cheeks that wasn't there before.
***
Seven months and many short conversations later – in which you learnt many things about Jeongguk and vica versa – you walk up to his table with a smile, genuinely excited to see your sort of friend. The smile fades from your face when you lay eyes on him – his whole body was tense, you could tell even from a distance, he was glaring out the window, clenched fists laying on the table. Something wasn't right. You quicken your pace, concern swirling in your belly. You stop at his table, feeling your heartbeat quicken. "What's wrong?"
"None of your fucking business." He snaps at you, words so venomous it makes you take a step back in shock, but mostly hurt.
Jeongguk regrets the words the moment they're out because he didn't mean them. He doesn't want to fight or argue. He came to see her to feel better. Now he snapped at her. He waits, for whatever tongue lashing she is about to give him. He'd deserve it and he'll take it. But she says nothing. Somehow her silence was much worse than any insult she can hurl at him. Her face closes off, he watches it happen as her fingers tighten around the pen and notepad she uses to take orders, and panic sparks beneath his skin, overriding all the anger he feels.
No. His mind rebels against the thought immediately.
"What can I get for you today, Sir?" Her voice is perfectly polite as she asks the question, like it was the first time he met her. Until he made her snap after changing his order for a sixth time.
No, no, no, no, no! Not this. Anything but this. His heartbeat quickens.
Jeongguk was quickly turning frantic, "Y/N, please, I-"
"We have a lovely special today." She goes on as if he didn't speak, eyes void of the usual fire when she'd argue with him or the gentle warmth when she sometimes smiled at him and called him an idiot. It was the only times he ever liked being called an idiot.
He listens to her droning on about he specials, explaining them. Jeongguk's heart drops all the way down to his feet. It feels like someone pulled a rug from beneath his feet, and he is thrown off balance from the how utterly wrong it feels, how much it bothers him, hurts him, that she is talking to him like he is just another random customer. Like she hasn't told him how she got stuck in a tree, climbing after the neighbors cat. Playing with their cat because her parents never allowed pets.
A cold feeling of dread washes over him because Jeongguk has no idea to fix whatever he just fucked up.
***
You very almost cry when Jeongguk snaps at you, feeling irrationally hurt by his words. You shove it all down as you pull up your walls and shut him out to protect yourself. You serve him as quickly as possible, walking away without a friendly word.
"Trouble in paradise?" Jae smirks at you when you come back from serving Jeongguk.
You glare at her, not in the mood for dealing with her jealousy today. "No, just looking at your face is enough to put anyone in a bad mood."
Jae's eyes widened, fury spreading on her face. "You bitch!" She yells, raising a hand to slap you.
You smirk, catching her wrist easily. "Careful, just now you break a nail."
You let her go, walking away. You wait until you're in the bathroom, safely away from prying eyes in a locked stall, before letting you face crumple, only letting one tear escape before getting yourself under control.
You finish your shift, completely exhausted by the end of it – emotionally and physically. The last thing you have the energy for, is Jeongguk, so of course he's waiting for you at the personnel entrance and exit when you step outside. Intent on ignoring him, you pretend that you don't see him and you start walking in the direction of the train station.
Jeongguk follows you, apparently not easily deterred. "Will you just talk to me please?"
"What would you like me to say, Sir?" You ask in your most professional voice, looking ahead and not glancing at him.
"I'd like you to talk to me and stop treating me like I'm a customer." He says, sounding frustrated and desperate.
"You are a customer, Sir." You answer, still not looking at him.
"For fuck sakes, will you stop with the 'sir' already and talk to me like you used to?" Jeongguk all but explodes, stepping infront of you, and looking down at you for a change. It's startling, for a moment. You always look down at him when he sits at the table and it never occured to you that he's taller than you. He sets his hands on your shoulders (they're big and warm and you feel surprisingly safe, even when he squeezes slightly), frantic and desperate eyes looking into yours. "You don't even have to talk, you can yell or scream or shout for all I care, just please stop."
"You want me to talk? Fine." You glare up at him, shrugging out of his hold and taking a step back. He's way to close for comfort. "Look, I get I'm not exactly from the same side of town as you are, but that doesn't mean I'm incapable of empathy. I'd bet that I have more empathy than most people you know. So, when someone I see as a kind of friend, snaps at me when I ask them what's wrong out of concern, when they could have said they don't want to talk about it, it hurts." You rant, a little out of breath. "Do you understand that? You hurt me."
"I'm sorry. Fuck, I am so sorry, you have no idea. I shouldn't have snapped at you and I regretted it the moment I did it. I was angry, and I know it isn't an excuse but it's the truth."
"Sorry isn't going to fix it," You say, voice edging on being too sharp. Your heart twists when his face falls. You soften a bit. "But it is a step in the right direction."
Jeongguk perks up, "What's another?"
"For starters, next time you don't want to talk about me, tell me instead of snapping at me." You give him a pointed glare, crossing your arms over your chest.
Jeongguk gives you an apologetic look, "Again, I'm sorry. I honestly didn't mean to snap at you. I came to talk to you, hoping I'd calm down a bit. I had an ugly fight some dumbass that tried to sell low quality material to us and I took it out of you."
You are reminded of the fact that he is the heir to his father's multi-billion won international conglomerate and for some reason, it makes you sad. You smile at him, ignoring the sadness. "Well, you're forgiven but I'm not forgotting."
"I wouldn't dream of it." He grins cheekily. He paused for a moment, then smirks at you. "So, we're friends now?"
You groan, "I should have known that would come back to bit me I'm the ass."
***
A large bouquet of pink tulips is delivered to you the next morning. Inside is a card that reads:
Thank you for never giving up on me. -JJK
Lee whistles loudly when she sees them and your cheek burn. "Someone must really like you."
"It's from a friend." You say, ignoring the fluttering in your belly.
"My point still stands. Those are out of season, you know." She remarks.
You nod, "I know. They're my favourite."
You finish your shift with a smile on your face. Until your boss calls you into his office.
"Yes, Sir?" You ask, still smiling and the bouquet of flowers in your one hand, backpack up on your shoulders and ready to go home.
"Y/N. I'll get right to the point. There's been a complaint that you've been too friendly with one of our customers." He says bluntly.
You almost drop your flowers in shock, "What?"
"I'm sorry to do this, Y/N, but it is a direct violation of the contract you signed when you started here. Professionalism is our top priority. I have no choice but to fire you." He says, and he does look sorry as he holds out an envelope to you. "This is the week's wages. Again, I'm sorry. You are a good worker."
"You're firing me because of something someone accused me off?" You ask, indignant and a little angry. "You're not even going to ask me if I did it? And if I did it, why I didn't stop?"
"The accusation came from a very trustworthy customer that was concerned that our reputation might be damaged." Your manager says. "If it gets to the owner and he finds out I did nothing, I could loose my job."
You scoff, taking the envelope. If you didn't need the money, you'd have thrown it back in his face. "So, it's okay for me to loose mine?"
"I'm sorry."
"So am I." You say before turning around and leaving.
***
The first day she's not there, Jeongguk brushes it off, thinking she has the day off and forgot to tell him. The second day, he starts to worry, just a little. The third day, he almost thinks himself into a mental breakdown. The fourth day, he demands to see the manager.
"Mr. Jeon." The manager greets with a smile that was clearly fake. Jeongguk thought back to Y/N, who never smiled much but when she did, it was honest and pure and breathtaking. He misses it and would do whatever it takes to get it back.
"Where is Y/N?" He demands, voice and gaze equally cold and intimidating. It's a side of him that she broke through within minutes, digging up the real Jeongguk and pulling him to the surface. The past months, he's been able to breathe again, live instead of just existing, waiting for the next person that wants his money. But that cold and calculating side of him is still there.
The manager pales and Jeongguk's worry increases. Did something happen to her? The manager shifts on his feet but still doesn't answer. "If you don't answer me within the next five seconds, I will call the owner and ask him to answer me."
"S-she was fired." The man stutters out.
Jeongguk feels his stomach drop. She never outright said it but he knows she depends heavily on the income from this job. It worries him, because he has this urge to take care of her. He wants to give her as much money as she needs, for her to live comfortably, but he knows she wouldn't take it. He glares at the manager, "Why?"
"Someone filed a complaint against her. She was getting to friendly with y-you." The manager says, looking a little terrified.
Jeongguk clenches his jaw, "And instead of asking me if I have a problem with it, you fired her?"
"Her contract says-"
Jeongguk stands up, towering over the man in height and size. "I don't give a shit what her contract says. How many times have I filed a complaint when the servers made me inappropriate offers and crude suggestions? I never once complained about her."
Jeongguk doesn't give the manager anymore time to do anything other than letting out a squeak before turning around and leaving the restaurant.
***
Five days after you were fired, you started too feel it. The absence of Jeongguk's presence. At first, you didn't notice it. To wrapped up in finding another job, worried about money and going to classes to think about it. But today is Sunday and the diner you found a temporary job at two days ago, is closed on Sundays. It's crappy pay and not alot of hours either but it was something and it'll help until you could get something else.
You lay on your bed, listening to your mom vacuuming the living room. University housing was expensive and you'd rather live at home and save the money than having even more debt. You laze the day away, knowing that none of the projects you have, is due that Monday. Your thoughts drift back to Jeongguk, like it always does. You honestly didn't think you'd end up missing him this much.
You like him, so fucking much. You figured it out a long time ago. You also know that you come from two different worlds. You are fine with that, you accepted it and you were content to be his friend.
Now he's completely gone from your life. Ripped out of it without warning.
You go to your classes the next day. In your last one, you doodle absentmindedly on the corner of your notebook, only half listening to the Professor. When the class is over, you look at what you drew and then groan out loud. Jeongguk's initials. Of fucking course. You scoff to yourself, leaving the class and then the building. You want to go home and sulk in privacy.
Outside, the sun was shining and you stood still for a moment, soaking in the warmth.
"Y/N!" A voice yelled your name and your head whips in the direction because you know that voice. You look, eyes searching desperately because you are so sure it was his voice. You're not hallucinating and- and there he is, running over to you.
"Jeongguk? What are you doing here?" You ask when he stops infront of you, completely bewildered.
He looks panicked and frantic. Like that day he snapped at you. He grips your shoulders, the hold almost painful. "You weren't there. I went to the restaurant and you weren't there and the manager told me you were fired and-"
"Jeongguk, stop. Breathe." You say, reaching up to hold onto his wrists, lightly rubbing your thumbs over the inside of his wrists. You wait until his grip loosens, until he was holding instead of gripping. "How did you find me?"
"You told me where you go to school one day." He answers off handedly, eyes scanning over your face, almost as if memorising the little details. Guilt flashes on his face, "I'm sorry you were fired."
You laugh at his words, removing his hands from your shoulders because it was getting a little too intimate, your heartbeat speeding up. "You know, half the time I see you, you end up apologizing to me."
"Hey, it's weird for me too." Jeongguk pouts and you have this urge to rise on your tiptoes and kiss it. "I'm not used to apologizing."
"Don't worry about it, I'm not angry." You wave him off.
"Can we talk?" He pleads and you agree immediately because you missed him so much.
"Yeah, there's a park nearby."
"Scared to be seen with me?" He teases with a smirk, and for a moment it's like nothing has changed.
You snort, "Don't you know? The walls has ears and Twitter accounts."
Jeongguk laughs, loud and unrestrained, throwing his head back. You couldn't help but smile. "This way."
You guide him to the park. It wasn't very big, and not a lot of people came here either, so it was perfect to talk. You each sit down on a swing.
"What are you gonna do now?" Jeongguk asks.
You shrug, "No clue, but I'll figure something out."
A guilty look spreads on his face again, "I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have-"
You cut him off, "Shouldn't have what? Let a server talk back to you? Yeah, probably not but we both enjoyed it, so it's on you as much it is on you. More on me though, because it was my responsibility as an employee to treat you with respect."
"You did," Jeongguk says immediately, sincerely. "Even when you were at your most brutally honest moments."
You give him a slight smile. "Well, fun as it was, it seems our path has come to an end."
"Why?" Jeongguk frowns heavily at you.
"Huh?"
Jeongguk looks you in the eye, gaze piercing. "Why does it have to end?"
You snorted, thinking he was messing with you but his eyes were completely serious. You answer in a matter-of-fact tone, "Because you're you and I'm me. Besides, most of the time we argued."
"Y/N." He says your name like it is his greatest wish. He stands up from his swing, making his way infront of you and pulled you to your feet. He looks at you, eyes impossibly fond, "That wasn't arguing. It was banter. If you think that's arguing, you probably think my parents goes to war every now and again." He smiles, a little nervous. "And foe the record, I would rather argue with you for the rest of my life than ever kiss another girl again."
Your mouth drops open in shock, and you really don't know what the fuck to make of that. "I-"
He cuts you off, "And I don't want this to be over."
Silence falls between you two. You stare at him, he stares back. Until, finally, you blurt, "I don't know what to say."
Jeongguk is a little bit disappointed, but not surprised in the slightest. At least it isn't an outright rejection. "You don't have to say anything. Just answer one question."
"Okay?"
"Would you want to date me?" You choke on thin air from shock. That means that he feels the same way as you do, right? Happiness makes your blood sing. Then it sinks in and reality comes back to you. Your happiness evaporates and you swallow thickly. You open your mouth to tell him 'no', but once again Jeongguk cuts you off before you could say something. "Forget about our social status, forget about what people would say and think about me and you. Together. Really think about it. I have, and I think we could work, if you gave it a chance."
"And if it doesn't work?" You ask softly, vulnerable in a way you've never been before. Distantly you wonder how he knew what you were thinking.
"Then at least we can say we tried." He shrugs.
You look down at the ground, wanting to think without looking at him, into those mesmerizing eyes of his. He could ask you to commit murder, and chances are that you'll do it if he looks at you long enough. When did you become so completely gone for him? You think about it, but there was never a moment where you realised, this is the person I like. Maybe . . . maybe it's because you've always liked him. Right from the start, even when he was infuriating. The thought is startling, but you aren't scared by it. It's more like another piece of the puzzle between you and Jeongguk has fallen into place. But there is the problem of your different social statuses. Yeah, Jeongguk said forget about it, but for how long? If you try and this does work out, then eventually you'll have to face the reality of everything that comes with being together. Somehow that scares you more than if it doesn't work.
You look back up at him, and you know – despite all your worries and doubts – it was never really a choice because you choose Jeongguk the moment you chose to accept his offer of being honest all those months ago. "Okay."
Jeongguk looks like he's ready to argue, "I-" You watch as your answer sinks in. The stunned expression almost makes you laugh, "What?"
"Did you want me to say no?" You give him an amused look, smile curling the corners of your lips upwards.
His eyes widens and he shakes his head frantically, "No, no, no, I just wasn't expecting you to say yes to quickly."
"That makes two of us." You admit. Jeongguk is right though, better to try and either fail or succeed, or never try and forever wonder what if. You smile up at him, heart soaring happily. "You make a good case. You should have become a lawyer."
Jeongguk's eyes light up, "Just wait until you hear the case I have to make on why we should kiss."
"Tell you what, if you kiss me within the next three seconds, you don't have to make a case at all." You bargained with a grin.
Jeongguk didn't need to be told twice. He leaned close and kissed you, slow and deep, one hand slipping into your hair and the other curling around your waist, pulling you close to him. He breaks the kiss, licking his lips and your eyes are drawn to the action. You lick your own lips, liking the taste of him. His voice is deep and rough, his cheeks flushed, when he asks, "Want to go get something to drink?"
"Yeah," You nod with a goofy smile, your own cheeks also flushed, feeling like you might float away at any second. "I could go for a smoothie."
"I love smoothies." Jeongguk grins back at you, taking your hand, lacing your fingers. His other hand was still wrapped around your waist and hold you close.
An old question flashes across your mind as you run your hands up his chest, liking the strong, study feel of it, until you can lock your arms around his neck. "You know, I've been meaning to ask."
"Mmm?" Jeongguk hummed in acknowledgement, showing that he was listening.
"Why didn't you get me fired that first day?" You ask, aware that you are suppose to be getting smoothies but it could wait for a bit.
Jeongguk had been expecting this question for a while, and had come up with an answer a long time ago. He looks down at her with all he feels for her, a content smile on his lips.
"Because you were the first honest person I have met in years. Because you put me in my place without thinking twice. Because when you glared down at me after I changed my order for the sixth time, there was a fire in your eyes that woke something inside of me that I couldn't control. Not then and not now." He leaned down, rubbing his nose against hers, the gesture shy and intimate. "Because the fact is, you had me at 'indecisive snot'."
the end.
A/N: Tumblr and it's 250 box limit will be the death of me, I swear. I get it, I do. But come on! This very almost didn't fit, I had to edit and mush several chapters into one. Eventually it fit, but NEVER AGAIN! It was exhausting and time consuming. I'll rather split it again, like I did with two of my other fics. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed. This took me a while with all the editing. Purple hearts for all of you!! -Kayla.
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jdumblr · 7 years
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PR Erasure 101
SDCC 2017 — Conan Edition
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On July 19, for the first time ever, Jared & Jensen were together at a Talk Show, to promote Supernatural. It was SDCC 2017 and you would think they were there to, of course, promote the Show, since Supernatural has been hosting a panel at the largest and most important auditorium of the San Diego Comic Con, the famous Hall H, since 2011. Well... think again.
Erasure #1: The Friendship
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"You guys have such great on-air chemistry, and I think it’s because you are terrific actors, but you’re friends in real life."
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Let's establish, from the start that you two are JUST good friends and that your famous "on-screen chemistry" is just because you are GOOD ACTORS AND FRIENDS. 
Please, Jensen, confirm to us that you have been friends for so long that any two people would have that chemistry after 12 years of acting together:
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J2 are lovers ➜ Erased
Erasure #2: The Bullet
One of the most blatant love declarations Jensen has ever made to Jared was when he said he'd jump in front of a bullet for him. The first time most of us heard about that was in July 2011, by Superlynatural. Days later, it was posted on donnagraf and that's how the news spread:
"Jensen: I think we do have that loyalty and I can honestly say you know, I’d trust my life with this guy and I guess in relevance to Dean for Sam, I would jump in front of a bullet for him any day and never think twice." 
Digging a little more you will find that the interview was given by J2, in 2009, to a Dutch magazine that was translated into English by sillie82. Curiously enough, this first translation leaves out the "jumping in front of a bullet" comment from Jensen. 
For years the veracity of that interview was questioned and debated by the Fandom, and some people were adamant to debunk it. Now, after Conan, who needs debunking? And here is where I started questioning...
Why would such an obscure interview that J2 never acknowledged and that was mostly treated as Fandom Lore, be brought up on National TV?  Do you really think Conan's team is that much into J2? I think not.
Well, J2TinHats have never let that comment rest, and always cited the fact that Jensen would take a bullet for Jared as one of Jensen's many love declarations to his boy. However, since the interview is real and is around, PR cannot simply make Jensen say "look, that interview is a hoax"; they had to erase it. How do they do that? You turn it into a joke: a nerf bullet
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Notice Jensen breathing heavily and scratching his forehead. Is he uncomfortable or what? Uncomfortable will be the theme of this entire interview.
Jensen would die for Jared ➜ Erased
Erasure #3: The Wife
Conan asks about the scene where Sam kills Ruby. 
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One would think PR chose this scene simply because it's a way of saying Jared is married, therefore, not gay. Well, there is that but there are also the many times Jared has mistakenly said he (as Sam) was the one who killed his wife (as Ruby):
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For years this subject has been a Fandom inside joke, how Jared's Freudian slip is so very telling...
Jared is gay and unhappy with his beard ➜ Erased
Erasure #4: The Kids
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Why would Conan's team dig up that photo op? Well, the little girl is 5 years old so, what a coincidence that at 0:30 Jensen takes the opportunity to say he has a 4 year old daughter: 
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He's obviously straight because marriage and kids prove you are straight.
Jared is also obviously straight because he too has kids and he makes sure to say it at 1:00:
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Now, see how interesting that he also makes sure to say their kids go to similar, not the same preschool. Really? Since when?
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Jensen and Jared are gay  ➜ Erased 
However, DefiantJared had a cameo...
Watch Jared giving us this pearl when he confirms all 5 year olds love Jensen, including his son:
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Nothing on that interview was spontaneous...
Not even the Keg Stand:
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Jared didn't seem the least bit surprised
The moment he sees the keg he goes test it for the stunt and even Jensen says Jared is doing that
When the stunt is revealed to Jared, he immediately starts taking off his blazer
There is absolutely no hesitation from Jared, who suffers from anxiety. Do you really think Jensen, of all people, would risk Jared freaking out on national television when facing something unexpected?
All 4 people involved acted very prepared for such an improvised stunt
I know that Andrew threw shade on Jensen when he said the stunt was a plug, but what an interesting double-standard to prove it was spontaneous, huh? Jensen took one for the team and made his promo.
The only good thing about that stunt was the fact that Jensen gave a very special gift to Jared: the first keg from his brewery and on national TV.
Apart from that, to me, this whole interview was probably just as bad for J2 as Kelly's was for Jared:
Conan didn't seem to know or care about J2 or the Show
He made sure to say "Arrow, now that's a show I watch"
He seemed bored and uninterested, forced laughter and no interest to engage J2. He ran through his card notes and that was it.
J2 were extremely nervous, uncomfortable, full of forced laughter—so different from their ease at Conventions.
All in all, I imagine those people who had never heard of SPN, or who had only heard of J2 chemistry, thinking: "let me see if these Supernatural guys are really that funny and engaging". Two minutes into that disastrous interview and they're like "Meh... I knew it was all talk. Those guys are so forced. Chemistry my ass".
J2 gay chemistry to new viewers  ➜ Erased
But hey, don't mind me because that was all in my head; of course they don't see us.
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