#but it's been an age old problem with me since i'm surrounded by engineers who do not get contact with women

[tbh-entp]

the age old question: is this entp female flirting or talking? we may never know.

[enbeast]

hey yall I noticed that there don't appear to be any transcripts for A Study In Ichor, so I figured I'd type some up, please note I am literally just going off the audio and I might get some stuff wrong.

mission 1

:readmore:

CLIP ONE

Workhouse Owner (WO): RUN FASTER, WORKER FIVE, THAT TREADMILL WON'T TURN ITSELF. As you can see, Master Yao, our workhouse not only provides food and shelter for three hundred inmates but makes a healthy profit too. For example, Worker Five has been running on one of Cubbad's “treadmills” for a mere twelve hours today and has already milled five hundred pounds of flour. Got the odd nail in it but it's good enough for the Rutherhive slums [laughs]

Sam Yao (SY): Twelve hours? Without a break?

WO: The alternative of life on the streets is an excellent motivator. And with your investment we will be able to build even more machinery, maybe even increase rations to three bowls of gruel a day.

SY: I want to use my inheritance for good, and if I'm honest, I have some concerns about your worker's wellbeing.

WO: Oooh I seee~ Yes, I suppose it is rather fashionable nowadays to worry about unfortunates, but I assure you Master Yao, once you've had to make your way in the world, like myself or your uncle, a fine man, you'll learn that revenue is the important thing, not how it's made.

(note, as Sam talks there approaching footsteps)

SY: Surely, there's a way to- OW!

WO: YOU THERE, IN THE CAP, watch where you're going, you just ran into a potential investor. Where's your worker number?

Pick pocket (PP): (in a stilted cockney accent) Sorry, Guv'ner.

SY: No, no, it's fine, I was in the way.

WO: It is not fine. Young lady, break time isn't for another three hours. Get back to work. (retreating footsteps from PP) I'm dreadfully sorry, Master Yao, this workhouse is full of ingrates.

SY: My watch! It's gone, the chain's been snapped...

WO: That worker stole it, she's a pickpocket! Worker Five get off that treadmill and chase after her DON'T COME BACK WITHOUT THAT WATCH!

SY: Uh, I'll come with you, Worker Five, I don't want to make a fuss, but that watch is important to me. Come on, let's run.

CLIP TWO:

SY: Hey, mind your step, Worker Five, I've heard about this, rows of people crushing animal bones to make fertiliser. Ugh, the smell is awful. Pickpocket just ran out into the street, we've got to follow her! Five, I hope you don't mind if I call you Five, through that door! (sound of door opening) There! I see her, she's heading towards the Temm's tunnel, it goes under the river from here to Whopee, an engineering marvel- a-apparently, my uncle's an engineer, he's building an underground railway. I try to keep up with the industry but... It doesn't come naturally... I mean, I-I know the tunnel was built using Bruno Cockren's tunnelling shield but I still barely understand what that even is, I don't ac-ARGH! Oh! (gasping) Five! If you hadn't pulled me aside that horse and cart would have run me over! Ugh, I-I'm sorry, I should have been paying attention, but well I-I don't often get to talk to anyone who isn't my uncle, or someone who's interested in my inheritance... Not that I need all that money, of course. I just want to be sure it's going to help people, it's what my parents would have wanted. That's why the watch is so important to me, it was the last thing they ever gave me before they died. Reminds me of what's important. If, if it was any other watch, I'd... just have let that pickpocket keep it, I'm sure she needs it more than I do... Ah, she's just hopped the barrier at the Temm's tunnel, it's in that round red brick building the entrance shaft is underneath, come on, Five, let's experience this engineering marvel first-hand, quickly, before we lose her!

CLIP THREE

SY: Ah, this tunnel is incredible, can you believe we're RUNNING under the Temms, makes me feel a bit funny... Mind you, we're here now that it's safe, uh, some of the people that built it died in the flood... Oh! Maybe I should spend my inheritance on something that'll make projects like this safer for workers, what do you reckon Five? Oh, Oh no... The pickpocket's already climbing the stairs! Ah- she's getting away! (panting) Whopping's all alleys, if she slips down a back street, we'll never find her! Up the stairs! Run!

CLIP FOUR

SY: (panting) And we're out of the tunnel, the pickpocket just ducked down that alley, after her. (Running sounds) Uh, we've got you cornered, now please. Give me my watch back.

Amelia Spens, formerly known as the Pickpocket (AS): Oh, I don't think so. Lads! (sounds of several sets of footsteps closing in) You're surrounded.

SY: Five, it's a gang of pickpockets.

AS: I'd have been happy with just the watch, but since you followed me, allow me to introduce the Abel Street Gang, they're all over the rooftops and they've all got knives.

SY: Please, don't hurt us, Five here has nothing to do with this!

AS: There'll be no need for bloodshed as long as you both give me all the money you're carrying.

SY: Five doesn't have anything, but, uh, (mumbling, followed by the sound of a heavy bag of coins hitting the ground) That's all of mine.

AS: W-he-hell, aren't we the wealthy one.

SY: I-I've got more! Lots more! And I'll give it to you, I promise, just please return the watch. It's my most treasured possession.

AS: I see! Not an especially experienced negotiator, are you. Hmm, let's take a look at this watch, see what's so special about it. Hmm, pearl face, silver plating, and... an engraving...

SY: It's uh... it's Chinese, those are my parent's names, and that's mine. Sam Yao.

AS: Y-you're not even going to try and make up an identity? What- (laughing) You're lucky I'm just a pickpocket and not someone REALLY nefarious, I- Helloo, what's this? (music starts playing)

SY: There's a tiny music box behind the face, that melody was special to them.

AS: Ooh, a bit twee if you ask me.

SY: So you'll give it back?

AS: I might have sold it back to you for a few sovereigns before you told me who you were, but as my luck would have it there just happens to be something that only you can do for me, Sam Yao. Your uncle's digging a railway underneath London, isn't he?

SY: H-how did you know that?

AS: I read the Society Pages, in my line of work one needs to know who's on course to inherit what fortune, and which Saloons they're likely to fall out of after one too many brandies.

SY: My fortunes from my parents, not my uncle.

AS: Yes, but you're his ward, or at least you were until you came of age recently, correct?

SY: Yes.

AS: There's something I want to show you. Follow me and keep up the pace. There are far more unsavoury types than me in Whopping and they'll take more than your watch. Run!

CLIP FIVE

SY: What's your name?

AS: I'm not telling you my real one, but you can call me Amelia.

SY: Uh, if you don't mind me saying, Amelia, you're quite well spoken for a pickpocket.

AS: Well, even an educated woman is not replete with options in this day and age. We might have a woman on the throne but I had to choose between penury, marriage to a seventy year old rector, or this.

SY: Well, it's not easy for me either, I'm lucky I have money because, well, being Chinese, people have misconceptions.

AS: Yes, you really should choose your friends wisely. Down this side street.

SY: Ugh, Mm. What IS that smell?

AS: Cover your mouths with your handkerchiefs, both of you.

SY: It's alright, Five, you can use mine.

AS: The smell is coming from that huge pipe, you see the emblem embossed on it?

SY: Ah! It's from my uncle's engineering company!

AS: That's right. The pipe is a ventilation shaft from his railway tunnel, now let's get away from it so we can breathe.

SY: (Gasping) Whoah, Oh that's better. What is going on down there?

AS: That's what I want you to find out.

WO (distant): MASTER YAO! WORKER FIVE!

SY: Ugh, it's the workhouse owner.

WO: (approaching footsteps) (panting) Master Yao, I followed you all the way from Rutherhive, one of my workers told me this woman is actually part of the Abel Street Gang! She only came to the workhouse to target you.

AS: This worker, was he a handsome fellow? Smarmy grin?

WO: That's right!

AS: Brent. (Sigh) That'll teach me to use former paramours as spies. Fine. (gun clicking) Hands up!

SY: Amelia! Don't shoot him!

AS: I'm not not aiming it at him, Sam, I'm aiming it at you.

WO: Steady on!

AS: Mr Workhouse Owner, unless you want future investors to know you got this one killed, I'd advise you to stop following us. Sam, Five, come with me or I'll shoot you both. Run!

CLIP SIX

AS: We lost the Workhouse owner, time to put this away (clicking sound)

SY: We would have come with you, Amelia, there was no need for the gun!

AS: Don't tell me how to take a hostage. Now listen carefully, for reasons that elude me, not everyone who falls on hard times opts for criminality, some people would honestly rather perform manual labour, and your uncle happens to be a proliferate employer of such eccentrics. I wouldn't care, except that many of his employees have family in the Abel Street Gang.

SY: I can ask my uncle to pay them more. But... He doesn't really listen to me. I'm Rather naive, apparently.

AS: Well, fortunately I have no need of your dreadful negotiating skills, I need you to solve an even stickier problem. Several of your uncle's workers have gone missing. Even though I've repeatedly explained to my gang that it's a waste of time caring about anything besides one's self, they're refusing to work until they learn what's happened to their loved ones. It's hurting my bottom line.

SY: That's awful... For the workers.

AS: Ahh, they're probably dead. If WE can barely breathe the noxious fumes near the ventilation shafts, what do you think it's like underground?

SY: I can't imagine! Those poor people... I'll stop what's happening, I promise, even if I have to spend every last penny of my inheritance.

AS: Do that and I'll give you your watch back.

SY: It's a deal.

AS: Mm, my favourite words. Righto, well, if that's settled then I'm off. There's a debutante ball this evening and I need to be in good time if I'm going to harvest some pearls. (retreating footsteps)

SY: There she goes. Look, Five, ah, I feel a bit awkward asking you this, but, would you maybe consider working with me? You were quick out there, really impressive, I've just moved into a house by myself and I could do with a hand. I promise it'll be a lot easier than the workhouse. I know it's been a funny old day, but for me it's actually been nice having someone to talk to. Talk at. Sorry, I know I go on a bit. But if you want to let's shake on it. You did save my life. Great! Now, I'm starving, how about some steak and oyster pie? Maybe we'll come up with some ideas about what happened to those missing workers over dinner., then tomorrow, we'll visit my uncle. Lord Earnest Van Ark.

[datingadviceonreddit]

So...I don't know how to start this...but I'm a 23 year old female that has never been in a relationship or had a date. Oh, and I'm still a virgin.I'm a very shy, quiet, and reserved person. I avoid eye contact and small talk at a cost, because eye contact makes me uncomfortable and I have no idea how engage in small talk. On top of all of this, I'm also an introvert, I'm stuck in my head, I over analyze and over think everything, I have social anxiety and depression, I'm pretty unaware of my surroundings, and have trouble "living in the moment". I'm starting to think that people view me as a snob who does not live in the real world, even though I've been called "sweet", "kind", and "polite" my entire life.• My parents have sheltered me my entire life. In high school, I was not allowed to date or have a job. I still live with my parents, I never learned how to drive, and as pathetic as it sounds, I have never had a job. My parents (especially my father) were also extremely wary of any friends I had, especially if they were male. As a teenager, I never really had any friends, and I don't know how to make friends as an adult, either. I've never been to a night club, party, or even just "hang out" with friends. My high school years revolved around studying and music lessons, and not much else. It's gotten to the point that I'm kind of...scared of my parents. They're not overly religious, so I don't know where their mindset comes from.• I don't have many hobbies. All I do is read and research things, paint, draw, play music, and I've recently taken a liking to baking and crafts (jewelry making and sewing) That's pretty much all I know how to do, since my parents never encouraged me to join sports or clubs when I was younger.• I have no post high school education, other than about 15 credits I completed at a community college. I'm pretty sure that my lack of education is obvious, due to the way I write and my limited vocabulary. I never went to a tradional 4-year college, due to my fear of living away from home and my social awkwardness. I've thought about going back to school, but I don't want to be seen as some old woman trying to relive her youth. Also, the only things I'm good at and interested in are art and music, which are only useful if you want to live a lifetime of debt.• I'm not a very ambitious person--I've never been attracted to so-called "power" careers. I have no interest in becoming a lawyer, engineer, business executive, or doctor. Honestly, I'd be ok with having a job where I'd never make more than 50k a year. The thought of being a slave to some corporation has never interested me.• In terms of my apperance, I don't think I'm that great looking. In fact, I think most people would view me as ugly and undesirable. I'm African-American, which means that most guys think I'm unattractive. My skin tone is some shade of beige, and I'm about 5'6"-5'7" and around 125-130 pounds. I'm not very shapely--I have proportionately long arms and legs, a short torso, no waist definition, breast that I think are too large, and a short, skinny neck. Oh, and I have a small butt, and I struggle with building muscle. I really hate my face. It's some weird round/square shape, and I have a high forehead, chubby cheeks yet high cheekbones, and dimples on my chin and cheeks. My nose, while wider than average, is proportionate to my face, but looks like the nose of and infant--it's short, round, and not very high. My eyes are small and brown, which society has deemed as ugly. I have a short, small mouth, and my lips are not super full, but they're not really thin. I have pronounced Cupid's bow and a slightly pouty lower lip. My hair is dark, curly, and is about mid-back length. I have mild acne on my face, back, and chest, and I never learned how to apply makeup.• I'm starting to believe that I'm destined to being single the rest of my life. I think men are repulsed by me, from my weird personality to my hideous apperance. The majority of women my age are far more ambitious, intelligent, beautiful, funny, educated, intersting, and sexually experienced than me; They're just all around better humans than I am, so why wod any man bother with me when there's all types of great women around? Men also hate virgins; I've seen so many guys online saying that being a virgin past the age of 21 is weird, the sex suck, that virgins are clingy, and it sucks trying to teach someone out of high school how to do the deed. I just don't think I could handle having several flings and casual hook-ups. I'm not waiting for marriage to have sex, but just I prefer that the sex I do have (if I ever have sex at this point) be in an exclusive relationship. I also think that my passive, shy, unambitious nature is a turn-off. And yes, I already know that the fact that I'm ugly and never completed college are also part of the problem.• This part may sound odd and inappropriate, but I'm scared of men and sex. I've never been sexually assaulted, abused, or raped in my life, so I don't know why I'm scared. I fear a man will hurt me, either physically, mentally or both. The thought of intimacy kind of freaks me out. Just the thought of being naked with a man, him touching and kissing me, and putting his you-know-what in me makes me break out in goosebumps and become tense. I find men to be very attractive, but I'm scared of being with them.• I don't know what even got me to thinking about this subject. I think it may be the fact that my mother hints at me that she wants grandchildren. She tells me every now and then that she wants a grand baby, but she needs a son-in-law first. She points out men she thinks would make a good son-in-law, and most of these guys have stable careers, are 4-7 years older than me, and have a good salary. All of them either have a college education, a trade, or have worked tirelessly at working their way up at a job, and I just don't think such guys are interested in a completely unstable and ugly woman like me, but I don't know how to tell my mother this. I'm also just not ready to get married and have babies. All of these men are very polite and masculine, which are the types of men my mother like. I'm starting to wonder if my mother is just projecting her own desires on to me, and is forgetting that I am my own person.• I've been trying to think of how to change my loser ways. I've thought about just "faking" being more extroverted, bubbly, ambitious, and snarky, even though this behavior is not natural for me. I've also thought about losing 10-20 pounds, since guys like super skinny women. I also know I need to buy make up and learn how to apply it. Maybe I should also get plastic surgery. I also know I need to obtain at least a bachelor's degree, and that I need to get over my fear of sex and just deal with the fact that casual sex is a part of modern dating.•I guess I'm just looking for advice on how to stop being a loser on the dating market. All advice is welcome. via /r/dating_advice