#so this dude then compliments a guy on his bike by saying hey bro nice bike

[tbh-entp]

the age old question: is this entp female flirting or talking? we may never know.

[savechangesto-untitled]

Yesterday boyf invited one of our bike night friends (this really cool early 30s dude bro who’s really into bikes) to go out riding mountain bikes at the trails. Me being a little sick and both my bikes not working I didn’t think I was gonna go but then I was like, I’m gonna go get my lungs working again and my heart pumping and shit. I’m just gonna take a leisurely ride through the park while they ride the trails.

So I borrowed boyf’s other bike and rode maybe like 6-7 miles or so by myself just up and down the concrete path at the park. And I eventually bumped into them when they were ready to go home and they were like “wanna hit one trail with us on the way out?” and I was like “ye.” So we went to the trail and eventually bumped into another guy from bike night, this dude who’s like a middle aged boomer but relatively cool for his age bracket. So the 4 of us ride the trails for a bit and then our friend is like “hey y’all wanna trade bikes? I wanna see what she can do on my bike” bc he has this bitchen full suspension bike and I was riding this little street bike and I guess he thought I was tearing it up. So I got on this fucking beast bike, the first time I have ever ridden a full sus bike in my life actually. And I just fucking sent it and it was fucking awesome. I haven’t been on the trails in a hot minute plus I’m a little sick so I wasn’t going as fast as I wanted but…damn. Having only ever ridden trails on a rigid bike with no suspension riding on a full sus is like fucking riding over clouds. It was fucking awesome.

But the best part later was when all the guys were hyping me up, I could hear them talking to each other “Damn she’s fast” etc. Saying I should get into MTB racing and all that. The boomer guy was like “Wow, imagine if she wasn’t sick.” Lmao. Like they were all really impressed. Which is nice as fuck because I feel like I don’t really get a lot of compliments or hype at bike night. But today they were all impressed. I was like damn guys. Me and my fucking 10 inch dick over here.

[lisinfleur]

EBMK - Chapter 2: Each other’s backs

Author’s Notes | It took me some time this time because I was suffering a small block after so many works for Ivar in a row, but here it is! Second chapter coming along with the hurricane… Words | 3456 ⁑ Warnings: Lots of cursing, mentions to violence, blood, alcohol.

It was supposed to be a normal day - despite the fact that Mads was spending almost no time with Adrian since his buddy came back from prison. The guy was working the shit out of himself to sustain that chick Mads was already getting sick of seeing mistreating his pal. And he was sure he saw the chick rolling strands of her hair while talking with some other dude in her college. Mads swore an oath he would find a way to fuck that girl's life if he ever knew she was cheating on Adrian again.

"Welcome, Frederik. It's straight down to the right. Next..."

There he was, working the hell out. Adrian had sunk dark circles around his eyes and Mads knew it was from sleeping too few and sometimes out of his bed because of the girl's belly. Adrian told him sometimes the baby was too agitated and then Victoria would send him to the couch so she could roll alone with her whole bed to herself. Shit of a woman... Joy never did it to him...

But he couldn't say his life was any better than his friend's. Adrian was walking around like a zombie, but he wasn't that different, working like hell to cover the idiot that quit and CC's place, now that his "brother" was wearing the club colors he wanted so hard - before him.

Fucking shit of a life Mads was intending to forget getting some fight around or using his free time to get a beer with Adrian after his turn was over. He had chosen the second option, but it seems the fight would come anyway...

Mads had to hold back his fists when that drunken bastard crossed the line, breaking the queue and passing forward, but since the guys in front of him were laughing and it was Adrian's turn as the door security, Mads decided not to cause any troubles - he didn't want to make his friend's turn any more shitty than that guy was already doing by stumbling over him...

"Wild night, huh? You won't get in acting like that," Adrian warned, helping the man to find his balance with a slight push.

"I tripped, dude. Chill," the guy tried, and Mads sighed.

He wouldn't be ok for that job. For sure that man would be already with some teeth missing speaking to him like he was doing to Adrian.

"Show me some ID," Adrian insisted.

"Yeah, Sure." the guy answered and Mads sighed again, annoyed this time, sure he would have kicked that guy's face for trying to go in that way.

What the fuck! If there is a damn security guard, just show your fucking ID and shut up...

"Hey, HEY! What did I just say? ID, please," Adrian pulled the guy back, trying to deal with the situation and Mads observed, already feeling his fists clenching inside his pockets.

He was crazy to hit someone and that guy's mouth was begging for some punches...

"Yo, chill. I'm on my way."

Just one more "chill" and Mads would lose control...

"Don't touch me. I think you need to find a bed for this guy," Adrian said, pushing the drunken towards his laughing friends, worried about keeping them out of the club.

Too worried to notice the drunk guy preparing a punch that hit his face right on the corner of his mouth.

That was enough for Mads' wildness and he just pushed the guy's friends away, pulling the asshole from the club's door by his collar, preventing him to come in and starting to hit the guy before he could say anything.

"You like to fucking punch people? What does it feel like, uh, asshole?" he cursed, hitting the guy as many times as he could before his friends could come against him.

"There are punches for everyone," Mads thought, hitting whoever he could, trying to keep himself standing - which he couldn't do for too long.

Adrian called for backup as soon as he recovered from the punch's dizziness, kicking the face of the man that mounted over Mads and trying to keep them back with some punches before the other security guards came to shove them all away and close the club's door for the night.

The day was dawning and Adrian was still sitting near the lake with Mads by his side. Both of them holding beers and spitting blood sometimes from their injured mouths. Mads was bleeding more: his eyebrow was cut such as his lips. Adrian only had the big punch he got in his mouth that cost him a tooth Mads helped him to get rid of.

"You should take a look at this," Adrian said about Mads' eyebrow but he just giggled.

"It's fine, nothing I'm not used to. We have this fight nights at the club... Joy's kinda used to give me some stitches from time to time," Mads answered, taking some water from the lake to wash his face. "You will have to see a dentist, bro."

"Why?" Adrian asked, before spitting blood one more time. "That asshole already made me a huge favor: I won't have to pay for a canal in a while..." he tried to joke. "I was expecting this shit to stop bleeding, but I have to go..."

"The butchery job is still on?" Mads asked, curious.

"Yeah," Adrian answered, taking one more sip of his beer, noticing Mads' face frowned and he dropped the beer can. "What?"

"You're fucking late, man! Get up! I'll take you home so you can change, go, go!"

"Shit!" Adrian cursed, getting rid of the can and getting up to follow Mads.

Even with his friend riding like crazy through the streets of Copenhagen, with his fight with Victoria during the time he was exchanging clothes and trying to stop the bleeding in his mouth, Adrian ended up arriving too late for his work.

And the boss kicked him out.

"Fucking great!" he came out where Mads was still stopped with his bike, lighting a cigarette he intended to smoke before going home.

"What? Dude, what happened?" he asked, and Adrian came closer to him, angry.

"I'm out. He fucking kicked my ass out! Fuck!"

Mads sighed.

His friend's life was really going wrong.

"Look, go back home and..." Mads tried.

"Victoria will fuck up my mind if I go back now. I'll go to the club. The Monk must have something I can do to keep up the money income..."

Adrian was nervous, not thinking straight. And Mads knew that name very well - The Monk was one of the guys the Wolves were trying to swallow around. He wouldn't want his pal working full time for that guy. But he could understand his friend's needs.

"I have a chance to get more time on the club or some driver shit. Anything."

Mads gave his cigarette for Adrian to smoke and patted his shoulder.

"Dude, look... Take a breath, ok? Go talk to your guy and I'll talk to my troupe. With some luck, we'll get a full job for you with my guys and then you won't have to be worried. I talked to Tom about you, he got interested. Now that CC isn't working at the warehouse anymore and I'm alone, maybe he'll get you. I'll remember him today, ok? Chill, brother. You're not alone," Mads insisted and Adrian took a deep breath of his cigarette, sighing the smoke out.

"Fine. Fine... I have to go."

"I drop you at the club, come."

Mads took a longer route to give his friend some time to chill and Adrian noticed this when the bike started riding closer to the sea - Mads was kinda taking a whole round around the city fringe and at some point, Adrian just took off his helmet, feeling the sea breeze touching his face. Mads smiled losing one more entry to the city. Some more meters on the seafront and Adrian lifted his voice, yelling, causing Mads to laugh when his friend lifted both of his hands, smiling at him, enjoying the trip.

The two friends rode as if they had nothing to lose for a while, but they knew things should be done and Mads took the way into the town to drop Adrian near the club as they combined. Another friend of his was near the door and came to compliment when Adrian was giving the helmet back to Mads.

"Hey, Danny... What's up?" Adrian asked before shaking the boy's hand.  "This is Mads," Adrian smiled. "My brother."

"I didn't know you had a brother," Danny said, smiling when shaking Mads' hand.

"Well, now he has," Mads smiled back at Adrian, "I have to go. Stay up with your phone, bro. I'll take a look at Joy and go to the warehouse. I can call you at any moment, ok?"

"Great, bro," Adrian answered.

They hit their hands and Mads took his way, leaving Adrian with a curious Danny.

"I think I know your brother, dude," Danny said. "I don't know... I think I already saw him somewhere."

"Maybe you did... Maybe not. Let's go. I have to speak to The Monk."

Danny still looked back at the street after Adrian came into the club, but Mads' bike was already gone down the road, so, he just followed his friend inside.

  Adrian knew Danny was pissed off. He knew he stabbed his friend's back by telling The Monk Danny's license was taken. But he needed that job. He needed that money! Even with Mads' promise of getting him a full job with the Wolves, he knew his friend couldn't force his way in and also, Mads was promising this in a while and he couldn't wait for him to get it: Victoria's baby would come in some few months and he had to buy the stuff for the baby's room and prepare everything. Mads was a nice guy, but Adrian knew he couldn't simply rest on his brother's back. So, he did what was necessary and now Danny was frowning at him inside that car - The Monk got him an "office boy" position that was paying way less than he was used to earning as a driver, but was keeping the boy on the track to teach Adrian about the usual destinations and routes he had to learn for the job and Danny was already used to taking.

That day wouldn't be too harsh: carrying some stuff from here to there in some destinations and things would be ok. At least it was what Adrian thought until Danny jumped into the car.

"Now we're going to see Cuz," he said as if it was nothing.

As if Adrian didn't know who Cuz was... The boy felt his blood cold into his veins on spot.

He could get arrested again just for walking beside the house of that old jerk!

"Cuz Cuz?" Adrian asked, confirming his suspicions when Danny nodded effusively.

"Yeah, Cuz, Adrian. We're bringing him the folder."

"What's in it?" Adrian asked, feeling his hands starting to sweat on the wheel.

"Fresh meat," Danny answered, giggling at the obvious dry gulp his friend just got down through his throat. "Come on!"

Adrian turned the car on, but his phone started ringing and he turned it off again to answer.

"C'mon, Adrian! We'll be late, man," Danny complained and Adrian looked at him.

"You don't speak and drive, Danny. That's why I have a license and you don't, man. Now shut."

Danny grunted, annoyed, as Adrian answered to the call, hearing Mads' voice on the other side of the line.

"Adrian?"

"Hey bro, speak..."

Mads didn't even wait for his salutation.

"Drop whatever you're doing now and come to the warehouse, bro! I got you a chance, but you have to come right now! Full-time job, days on the fabric, nights at the warehouse, double what you're earning. Drop this shit and tell me where I pick you up, bro!" he said, fully happy.

Adrian's eyes became larger and he got silent for a second. A full-time job paying twice what he was earning? Man! "Mads just saved my life!"

"Bro? Did you hear me?" Mads called him back to reality and Adrian giggled out of nervousness.

"Mads... Dude, are you serious?"

"I wouldn't fucking play with something like this, bro! Come on! Where are you?" Mads asked and Adrian got out of the car, for Danny's annoyance that followed his friend out of the red van.

"You gonna get us in trouble, Adrian, turn off this fucking phone, habibi! You can talk to your little girlfriend another time," Danny tried.

But Adrian just waved his hand for Danny to shut up and kept talking to Mads, still impressed his life was really taking a turn, finally.

"I'm near the docks, ahn..." Adrian looked around, spotting the bakery from where Danny just had brought their lunch. "Near the bakery, the..."

"The one with those cookies you like? Gotcha! I pick you up in five minutes, bro!" Mads answered and Adrian could hear the sound of his motorcycle turning on before he dropped the call.

"What the fuck, Adrian!?" Danny came closer, fully pissed off. "The Monk will fuck our ass if we get late, man!"

"You go," Adrian said, giving the keys to a shocked Danny.

"What? Adrian, I can't drive, habibi. Did you forget you fucking opened your big mouth about my license? Did I buy you the alcoholic cookies?" Danny said, checking on the note from the bakery to ensure Adrian wasn't drunk.

"I'm not high, dude. Mads will pick me up, I... I have some stuff to solve."

Adrian's eyes were already on the corner of the road, spotting Mads' bike turning into the street.

"Are you fucking crazy, Adrian? You drop this way and The Monk will never get you back, dude! You gonna get yourself fucked!"

"That's fine... Then you can have your job back, right?" Adrian smiled when Mads stopped right beside him, giving him a helmet and not even taking his own off. "Tell The Monk I can't drive for him... Tell him... I... I quit!" he said, putting the helmet on and getting on the bike right before Mads could start driving towards the Wolves' warehouse, living Danny behind with a full shocked face.

"Fuck, bro! Twice what I was earning? That's fucking amazing, dude!" Adrian celebrated, punching Mads' ribs in a playful way, hearing his friend laughing into his own helmet through the interphone.

"Yeah... Tom just wants to know you," Mads said. "But the job is already yours. Now... Do you have guts, Adrian? I mean... Tom may ask you for some extra jobs if you're up to use your skills as a butcher. Ya know what I'm talking about, right?"

Adrian knew it could be a situation. The Monk had used his skills once and he knew he could get really fucked for doing those shit, but what choice did he have? And also, The Monk used his skills only once... Maybe Tom wouldn't want him to do that disgusting thing more than once or twice.

People weren't killing people all the time to need a butcher so many times like this...

"Yeah. I did it once... I think I can do it again if he needs," Adrian answered.

"Yeah. That's good, bro. That's good."

None of them was comfortable with that little detail about Adrian's new job, but well, both knew some sacrifices were necessary.

It was for his son. For his little Patrick, as Adrian told Mads he would call the boy Victoria was waiting for. Mads could understand. He would also do anything for his little Kyle. Joy and he had just decided the name and he was so happy things were adjusting well, finally.

They stopped by the club and the two of them were brought to Tom's office. Adrian had to say his balls just kinda found a way to shrink around themselves when that man looked him in the eyes.

"You're too skinny for a butcher," Tom said, coming closer, sticking Adrian's chest with the back of his pen. "Can you ride a bike, butcher boy?"

"Yeah," Adrian answered.

"So, I suggest you get one soon. Mads will teach you the job, now get the fuck outta my face. The warehouse won't watch itself, go," Tom said, waving his hand for them to leave.

Adrian went out confused as Mads was silly smiling by his side.

"What was that?"

"I told ya he just wanted to know you. The job is yours already, bro. Now come! Let's take a beer on the bar before we go," Mads answered, bringing Adrian with him to the bar, ignoring the surprise that was making his friend dizzy.

Adrian's eyes were looking all over the enormous place where Mads seemed to know so well how to walk. For a moment, he thought he could easily get lost into that place and never find a way out.

Some people passed around, some looking at Adrian, some just passing and ignoring the two of them. Adrian could understand why Tom thought he was skinny: half of the men inside that club would easily weight more than him and mads together! However, a man in specific caught Adrian's eyes and he frowned at the sight of that man walking around, drinking with some other Wolves. A bald bearded man, with lightly darkened skin... He could bet he saw that man before... Where?

"Here!" Mads pushed him the beer cutting his line of thought for a moment. "Cheers, brother!"

He was so happy! Finally, Adrian would be closer, they could share the nights in the warehouse - which would make his work utterly easier - and his friend wouldn't be so fucked as he was since he came back from prison.

However, Adrian's face wasn't this happy. In fact, he was surprised and kinda shocked. That bald man started walking towards them and with the proximity, Adrian was able to recognize him, causing the blood to run cold inside his veins once again: he could remember where he saw that guy now...

At the police station, inside one of the offices, speaking freely with one of the officers. He could remember her talking to him, giving stuff to him and taking his cellphone to read something on it... He remembers they sat him on a chair beside them and he could hear something about she wanting that man to avoid going too deep in his infiltration or she wouldn't be able to keep him safe when everything was blown up.

Adrian's head started making some bad math as that man came closer, but everything exploded into his head when Mads smiled towards that man.

"Hey, CC! Come here, man! Come meet my bro!"

Fuck.

Now everything was making sense! If that one was CC, then he was infiltrated there! At the club! At the Wolves!

And he used Mads to get into the gang...

"This is CC, Adrian. And this is Adrian, the guy I told you, CC. He'll be a father soon as well... Patrick, isn't it right?"

Mads was such a nice guy... Such an innocent guy. He had no idea of what that man smiling beside him was doing... He would get so fucked if everything ended up blowing up the way they were planning! By Adrian's knowledge of that world, he had just stepped into a time bomb and Mads would end up blown if he couldn't do anything.

However, he had just stepped into that place. It wasn't as if someone would believe the word of a total newbie against a man who won his colors in a pair of weeks, as Mads had told him.

"Hey... Earth to Adrian... Are you high, bro?" Mads clicked his fingers in front of Adrian's eyes, calling him back from his thoughts and Adrian giggled, shaking his head.

It wasn't the right time to burst the whole thing.

"Sorry... This place is so big, I'm... I'm impressed," he tried to disguise his affliction, smiling and shaking CC's hand. "Sorry, man. Nice jacket, by the way. You guys have a beautiful symbol."

"One day I'll dress it as well. It's closer than never!" Mads said and CC smiled at him, patting his back, causing Adrian to cringe inside seeing that snake so close to someone so dear for him.

"Yeah. Soon, brother. Soon."

"He's not your brother," Adrian wanted to say.

But he swallowed down the words and smiled.

At the right time, he would tell Mads everything and maybe save his brother's skin from the catastrophe that was about to come...

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[commentaryonhowwelive]

December, 2011. Age 19. (Fear of the Unknown)

Phase 1  

I hadn’t spent any time with her all this semester. Not because I wasn’t available. In fact, I was home from college every weekend because I passionately hated living in Orlando. I hated being in my college apartment. I hated the lack of privacy, the compression on my mind. I think I just hate apartments in general. Maybe I’m just spoiled having grown up in a house by the beach.

Anyways, she was away at college up north and even though we had crushes on each other in high school (at least I thought we did) we didn’t talk much while she was gone. 

  I shot her a text.

“Hello Sallie, would you like to grace me with your presence?” I waited. She responded.

“Paul! How are you?! Yes. Want to longboard?”

I was at her house 10 minutes later. 10 minutes after that, we were cruising down Riverside Drive on our longboards talking about the past semester. 

“I’ve hated it. I have to confess, I come back a lot to surf.”

“How can you hate Orlando so much? There’s so much to do there.”

I did a little move on my board to show off then replied, “Everything there costs money. I just want to surf and play drums and hang out beachside. I feel so trapped in Orlando. Everything’s fake. I can’t even skate without being scared of being hit by a car, there’s so much traffic,” I spoke as I took up the entirety of the empty beach side road.

“I’m just happy to get away from this town. I loved growing up here, don’t get me wrong, but it’s time to like..you know..I guess…move on?”

I opened my mouth to respond but felt guilty for confessing that I wasn’t ready to leave yet since it seemed like her ship has already sailed. I closed my mouth and pushed against the ground. She continued, “I like being here now though. It’s like a breath of fresh air.”

I rode her compliment on our hometown, “Exactly! That’s how I feel every time I come home from Orlando. The second I cross the causeway it’s just like ‘ahhhh’”.

Truth is, I didn’t come back just a lot. I came home every weekend, and sometimes during the week too for a day or so. If I didn’t, I felt like I’d go insane. I was terrified of living alone. I felt incompetent all the time, unable to justify any of my day to day actions. My family lived an hour away, but it might as well had been across the world. When I’m in Orlando, all I could think about is going home. The crowds, the flagrant uncaring attitude of so many students here, the facade in front of every interaction or sight. If you want to go to the pet store, you can’t go to the little mom & pop pet shop down the street, you have to go to TONY’S ANIMATORIUM EMPORIUM. Where’s the realness? Where’s the people just making it work without having to put on a name tag and a face every day? I’d see an old man riding his bike in Orlando and think DUI. I’d see an old man riding his bike beachside and I think happy and retired.

“Well, I have to bring things to goodwill and I want to get a Christmas tree. Want to join me for beachside adventures?” She asked turning back down her street.

“You bet your sweet booty I do.”

I was smooth with the ladies. Or at least I like to think I would be. I’ve never even kissed a girl. Maybe it’s the anxiety, but I imagine it’s more because I’m just looking for a relationship that means something before I make that connection with someone. Hook up culture drives me up a wall. Just like Orlando does. I hate it, it’s dirty. I want a girl that I care about, who cares about me.

We kept joking that we were like a newly wed couple and I secretly loved it. I loved the idea of getting a Christmas tree with a girl for our cute little Florida home. Stuffing it into our old beat up car, making it work. I hadn’t ever had a girlfriend so it was such a great feeling being out and about doing something like this. I felt like she was just so great, until our conversation on the way home with the Christmas tree top sticking out of the back window.

“Oh my gosh and we were at this party getting drunk and John brought some weed, so we went around the back and smoked it.”

I got a tingling sensation down my spine and wasn’t sure what to say. “Oh, you smoke now?”, was all I could think to say.

“I mean, not really. It’s not like I’m always like ‘hey all, let’s all go get high!’, but if someone has weed, I’ll smoke it. I mean, why not? Anyways, I just remember being in his neighbor’s yard afterwards and for some reason the lamp post with the wreath on it was so funny, we just could not stop laughing…” she trailed off into her story about being high at a party but I had lost any and all interest in the remainder of the story. She smoked pot and that was that. There was no going back. It was such a let down, I thought maybe we’d spark something when she texted me back a few hours ago, but at this point, I didn’t even care any more.

When she finished her story the car was silent for a minute until I got a text from Tyler. 

“Whattup dude I just got off work, let’s rage”

“Hey Tyler just texted me, want him to come over too?” I asked hoping she’d say no, even though I wasn’t interested in her anymore now that I know she smokes weed.

“That sounds great! I haven’t seen him in forever. I think since Founders day in May? Wow it’s been too long. Yeah invite him over!”

“If by rage you mean coming over to Sallie’s house and maybe walking to the park or something, yes, let’s rage.” I responded. 

---------

I was trying to brush off the fact that she started smoking and drinking, but it was so hard. I just couldn’t understand what any of that even leads to, how it can be any more ‘fun’ than anything else? I had so much fun surfing, and what do I get when it’s over? An excellent natural connection to the world, a great work out, and a clear head. What do you get when you’re done drinking and smoking weed? A hangover, less money, and the very real possibility of having made poor choices while you were under the influence. They call it dope for a reason. I want connections to be real, not hidden behind an inhibited prefrontal cortex thanks to alcohol. I wanted life to be real, genuine, authentic.

We set up the Christmas tree and jokingly took a picture of us holding hands in front of it. I got another tingling feeling when we held hands, similar to when she told me that she had smoked weed, but this one was a good tingling feeling. She didn’t have a lot of ornaments, so we put up what we had, then wrapped it with red streamer that we found in her mom’s room. As we were looking at the pictures on her phone, Tyler let himself in through the front door. 

We sat on the couch for a few minutes while Tyler and Sallie caught up. We had all gone to a small high school together so she knew him well. He talked about how he hates community college, how he hates his job, and how he hates his parents who are cops. She talked about how she loves north Florida, loves her program, and loves weed now. I guess that was how she figured she could create a good middle ground between the two of them, talking about her love for weed right in front of me after I insinuated my disdain for it in the car without actually saying it out loud. Such is life.

After about a half hour and a few moments of silence that were slightly longer than comfortable, Tyler started complaining, “Dude I’m bored. Let’s go do something.”

“Oh my gosh, one time my friends and I were super high…” Sallie started, and I began to think that she smoked quite a bit more than she previously said, “…my friends and I went to the graveyard across the street from campus with an EVP reader we got from the lab and went ghost hunting. You guys want to go to the graveyard?”

Tyler jumped at the opportunity to wreak havoc in a public space at night. “Let’s do it!”, he bolted out the door without his keys.

“I guess I’m driving”, I said and walked out last.

“Tyler is talking right out of his ass right now”, I thought as he went on and on about how I never do anything fun and I just run and read like a “nerd”. I was trying to remember why I considered him my best friend as he started talking about all the crazy parties he goes to.

“Fireball is definitely my favorite. But that’s as far as I go into whiskeys. I much prefer just slamming an 18 pack of Miller with some bros,” Tyler bragged.

“Ugh, I had fireball one time at a party and I nearly gagged. I usually just mix rum with a LOT of coke so I don’t taste it,” She responded.

“If you don’t want to taste it, why do you even drink it?” I asked her.

Before she could answer, Tyler cut in “See, this is why I can’t talk about this kind of stuff openly with Paul, he just shoots me down all the time.”

“I don’t shoot you down all the time…wait, actually yeah I guess I do”, I fessed up. 

“I already have one dad,” he started going off, “and then I’ve got Paul over here trying to be a second asshole father figure when I can make my own damn choices. If I want to split an 18 pack with my buddy then go drive around some back roads and pull some donuts, that’s my own damn business. I ain’t hurtin’ anyone am I?”

“Well if you’re driving drunk, then yes, you absolutely can hurt someone”, I shot back in a pompous manner.

“There he goes again. Jesus dude, you need to lighten up and have a beer or five.”

Sallie laughed and I felt embarrassed. Here I was trying to have a nice night with Sallie, then I offer to invite Tyler and he just comes in and shits all over me in front of her. I was getting really upset with him. 

“Look man, I’m a camp counselor and I’m just trying to be a positive role model. I don’t see a reason not to be. Can we just drop it then?”

“Yes dad,” Tyler replied. I wasn’t amused.

We pulled into the graveyard but upon realizing how cold it was outside, especially for us Floridians, we decided to just drive around instead. I wanted to lighten up the situation a bit since it had gotten a bit tense driving over. 

Speaking to Tyler, I said “hey, I dare you to run across the graveyard alone,” once we reached the far end of the two acre lot.

“What’s in it for me?”

“I don’t know. It’ll be funny and you’ll be cool,” I said laughing, though he seemed to take the statement at face value.

“Sure means a lot coming from you,” he shot back, “stop the car.”

I kicked the gear into neutral and applied the brake. He jumped out before the car even stopped rolling and started running towards the gates, slamming the door behind him, probably shaking the coffins six feet below us. We watched his dark figure flying between the graves, launching himself off of the small ones. I shook my head and started driving back towards the front. 

“Sorry if I sound like a smug ass hole. It’s kind of hard to not sound like one with Tyler in this kind of mood.”

“Yeah, I don’t know…” Was all she had time to say before Tyler got back in.

I brought it up again in the car how I’m just trying to do the right thing, but I don’t mean to sound like a smug dick.

“Yeah, you are dude”, he said immediately, pouncing at the opportunity to cut me down. I didn’t know whether he was trying to impress Sallie that night, but I no longer wanted to be around anyone. I wanted to drop them off at Sallie’s house and go home. Just as I started to feel this way, he seemed to have a small tinge of guilt in his words.

“You know I just can’t help it, I’m a dick all the time too,” 

I’ll take it. 

He continued, “It’s like a perpetuating cycle. I’m a dick to people then they’re mean to me, then I have a reason to keep being a dick to them.” His little bit of self revelation didn’t really change my attitude about how I felt. I still wanted to go home. 

Then his tone changed. “But really, I’m 19 years old. In the eyes of the law, I am a fucking adult. If I want to finish an 18-pack by myself, punch a dude in the face, and nail a random girl from the bar, who the fuck cares?” 

I was cringing as he spoke, what he was saying didn’t even make chronological sense. How does one finish an 18-pack then go to a bar and pick up a girl when you’re only 19? He continued… “My parents think that just because they’re cops they can keep me on a leash goddamnit. They’re so annoying. I can’t wait to move out.

The rest of the car ride was filled with talk of the weather and classes we were all taking next semester. When we got back to the house, Tyler got out and went inside without saying a word, he walked by us as we approached the front door with his car keys and got into his car. He gave us a little salute and drove away.

“You outta here bro?” I asked, trying to deescalate the tension in their air before he left.

“Yeah. See ya.”

His music shook all the houses as he drove down the road and out of sight.

“What’s wrong with him?” Sallie asked uncomfortably as we walked inside and shut the door behind us. I could tell she wanted to be alone as much as I did after that little fiasco that I felt Tyler created out of thin air, so I just shrugged and said “No idea, I think I’m gonna head home though.”

I gave her a hug and went to walk out, but she stopped me at the door.

“Hey,”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t be a stranger. I’m here tomorrow morning before I leave to go back to school in the afternoon if you want to get together for coffee?”

“I have church,” I responded and walked out.

How was I supposed to respond? Do I just sit there and listen to him? I recognize him as my single best friend, but is a best friend supposed to just sit back and watch their best friend do all sorts of stupid shit and not say anything about it? Especially when he’s really only hurting himself. His grades could definitely be better, and I’d be hard pressed to believe that all his drinking is doing anything but hurting his school work. His parents are tight on him not because they’re cops, but because he can’t control himself. I said to him that night “be the change you want to see in the world” and he bombarded me with cynical remarks like “one person can’t change the fucking world”. I’ll say religious things to him and he just responds with things like “Jesus hasn’t helped me at all recently”. As fun as that kid is, I need better people in my life. I’m not learning ANYTHING from him besides how to not act. Jason, the pastor at the church I’ve been going to with my family, said that you need to surround yourself with people who are wiser than you or else you’ll never grow wiser yourself. I like to think that I’m the one that is wiser than Tyler and that I’m making a positive effect on his life even if he doesn’t acknowledge it. I try to show him the light of taking things easy, not getting so upset about things, and making better decisions, but he doesn’t seem to give a single care about wanting to learn any of that. Until he can figure that out though, I don’t think I want to hang out with him as much anymore.

I just feel like a smug prick when I surround myself with people who drink, smoke, have sex, and make poor decisions. Maybe I should find new friends, because I don’t want to sound like a smug prick, but it’s inevitable when I’m around these kinds of people. I don’t think I’ve ever met someone that I can be 100% myself and enjoy life with. I guess that’s what you’re supposed to look for in a wife.