#but it's still there for viewing pleasure if you wanna see my unfiltered thoughts

[126dvtn]

ik u said do not read but when u said slave of education system i felt that just wanted to let u know

LORD THE SOLIDARITY

[vannybarber]

Eyes Forward

Summary: Let's face it, long haired Chris is irresistible. So you take your chances.

Chris Evans x Reader

Warnings: SMUT, oral (f to m), handjob, rimming (f to m), LONG HAIRED CHRIS, fluff 🥺 this gif can absorb me 🥵.

Watching the two beautiful brown skinned goddesses grind and makeout on the screen, you couldn't help the puddle forming in your panties. This wasn't the first time you and your buddy Christopher have watched explict films together. In fact, it was one of you guys' favorites genres.

You and Chris had found a show called 'The Wire', which has a 9.3 rating on IMDB. A rating that high on such a stingy app had to be good. A sex scene between the two women had arrived, which threw you both off because of how unfiltered it was. But you weren't complaining. Neither was Chris.

He was fixated on the TV, watching the view before him, a boner visibly formed through his grey sweats. Trying to adjust himself, he fails as he gets distracted again by the close up of them.

Getting a sudden burst of bravery, you maneuver your left hand onto his bulge and rub it in a slow motion. He whips his head at you, puzzled, but somehow absentmindedly grinding himself onto your hand.

You put your index finger to your mouth and point back to the screen with a small smirk. He follows your silent orders without protest. It's not like he could form words at the moment anyway.

The scene gets more intense as the woman straddling Sonja, the actress, breasts show on the screen and she takes them both in her mouth. Chris sucks in a breath, which is quickly covered with a cough as you add pressure to his covered length. You let a giggle escape from your pressed lips.

You turn your body so your front is fully facing his right side and switch hands, laying your right one back on his pants and your left around his neck.

"Y/N..", he says through gritted teeth.

"Shh and keep your eyes foward." You nibble on his ear and squeeze him to affirm your instructions. Moving your lips down to his neck, planting long but soft kisses, he groans, thrusting himself up in your grip. Getting at his hints, you push your hand inside his pants and slowly smooth a soft but firm way down his shaft. It almost shocked you how long it took your fingertips to reach the head.

You look up at Chris and his eyes are slowly closing so you squeeze him in your hand. He shoots his eyes open and looks at you.

"Do not close your eyes. Keep them open and watch the TV" you command in a rather stern voice. "Don't they look amazing?" He nods his head in agreement.

"The one with the short hair has beautiful tits." You smile because he's absolutely right.

"Yes, she does. Look at the way she's sucking them." As you comment on the scene, you rub your hand up and down his cock as much as possible, but grow frustrated with the restriction of his clothes. "Take your pants off."

He moves to shove his jeans down and kicks his feet out the holes. Getting a better view, he is well endowed. You take both hands and stroke him. He can't help but watch, but the scene is over so you don't scold him.

"You like that baby?" You coax him, moving a little faster. You both make eye contact and he breathlessly lets out a 'yes'. You bit your lip and smile. Catching him off guard, you dip your head down and take him in your mouth.

He maneuvers his right hand onto your ass, giving it a squeeze. You moan around him, making him groan and thrust up into your mouth. Suddenly you pull back. He quickly gets worried.

"What's wrong?" You cup his cheek.

"Oh nothing. As much as I love you feeling on my ass, I want you to see me sucking your cock."

With that, you slide off the couch and on your knees in between his legs. He sighs, appeased and adjusting himself so he could get the perfect view.

"Hope you weren't worried there." You joke, smiling and winking at him. He grins, shaking his head. He's still rock solid and throbbing when you grab his cock again and sliding your mouth back on it.

After bobbing your head up and down for some time, you take him out and push his legs further out to drag your tounge from the very bottom, swirling around his tight hole. You let out a hot breath over it, resulting in him letting out a small whimper while you pump him faster.

You move back up, tongue still on him and lick up his wide shaft and take him back in your mouth, finishing him off. A few more seconds and you feel him twitch.

"Fuck, I'm 'bout to cum" he groans out. Warm shots of his seed score in your throat and slide down your tongue. Satisfied, you suck up and off him, making sure you collect every drop. You open your mouth, and show him the mess he made in you. He nods with approval.

"Swallow."

You gulp down all the sweet content and smile at him. Getting off your knees, you strip from your clothes, pussy aching from the need to have him inside you. He watches as you remove everything, all your forbidden parts coming into view.

"Like whatcha see, Evans?" You smirk at him.

"Yeah, but I'd like it better if it was inside it." He doesn't have to say any more. You climb on his lap and pull his shirt over his head, ginger locks falling back into place.

"Ya know, I'm really loving this look. You should keep your hair like this." You comb your fingers through his silky hair, mesmerized with it.

"If it makes you do shit like this, I'm just might." He traces his fingers on your thighs and moves them up your hips and on your back, pushing you towards him. Your lips plant on his, moving in perfect motion, not missing one beat.

Mouths staying connected, you grab his cock and meet it with your entrance and sink down slowly to feel it stretch every wall. You suck in a breath and moan, fully seated on him. After getting comfortable, you pull away and start moving on him. Looking in his eyes, you search for his breaking point. The move that's gonna do it for him.

"You like that baby? You like when I bounce on your cock?" His eyes shift almost at your verbal attack. He slaps your ass in response but also a warning. You just grin. It's working.

"Gotdamn Y/N, you're so fucking tight." His face crunches up, head thrown to the cushion of the couch. You squeeze him as a thanks. Workouts pay off.

"A tight, wet pussy and a big ole cock, what'd you expect?" You kind of laugh as you move faster on him. You could feel him touching every spot inside you, that sharp ping of pleasure hitting you everytime you slide back up.

"Fuck, daddy you're gonna make me cum," you whine out, not being able to handle the feeling, like you asserted before. You flatten your palms on his shoulders and try to bounce as fast as you can, but the ecstasy is weakening your ability. Chris takes notice and quickly solves the issue.

Pushing you towards him, he adjusts your knees up a little closer to his hips and grips your ass and starts fucking into you. You wrap your arms around his broad shoulders and drop your head down beside his.

"Mmm Chris that feels so," you let out a whimper when he hits your spot 2 thrusts in a row, "so good."

"Mhm you thought you were the one in control, didn't you sweetheart?" The sound of your ass hitting his thighs accelerates your want to cum. You need it so bad.

"Shoving your hand down my pants, tryna seduce me, but who's the one getting her pretty little hole fucked??" At every word, a thrust gets harder and your mind goes even more blank.

You can't even form words, only adorable tiny noises and moans leaving your vocal box. He grips your waist roughly, not satisfied with your answer.

"You better fucking answer me or I'll stop right now and make you suck me off again and this sweet little pussy won't get to cum." He slaps your sore pussy and you inhale a single, but deadly breath.

"I am! I'm getting my little h-hole fucked," you scream. It was humiliating, but that's what made it more arousing. You tried to be in control, but failing effortlessly once he was deep inside you.

"Good baby. Daddy's fucking this hole way better than anyone else could, so it's only fair that it belong to me now, right?" He looks up at you and grabs your face to look him in the eyes. "This pussy is mine, yeah?"

At this point, fuck it.

"Yes, Daddy my hole belongs to you! All my holes are yours." You could feel that familiar pressure rising in the pit of your stomach as he fucks up in it. You grow excited, but more determined to make it last.

"I'm gonna cum," you moan as he lets your face go, but not breaking eye contact. "Make me cum, Daddy. I wanna cum all over your cock. I want it so bad. More than anything!"

"Just let go, baby. Let go for Daddy." His voice is soft and encouraging. You do as he says and let your orgasm take over your body. He could feel your hot cum spreading all over the head of his cock.

In retaliation, he shortly follows, filling your pussy to the brim, quite more than he ever has before.

"I feel so full." You sigh, content and fulfilled. A dopey smile is on your face and your body is limp. He rubs your back and plants kisses on the side of your face and on your shoulder blade.

"I'm gonna go give you a bath. Alright, bear?" He turns his head, waiting for you to look at him and give the 'ok'. You lift your head.

"Can we just stay here for a little bit longer please?" He kisses your nose and wraps his arms around you, securing you to him.

"Of course." You lie your head back down and close your eyes.

You could get used to this.

I know I said I was gonna finish this a long time ago, but I got distracted per usual 😭 hope you guys liked it 🧡

masterlist

[writinginstardust]

Don’t Leave Me Again

Pairing: Nik Malikov x reader

Request:  @thats-so-bucky asked “ okay I think I have an idea for the plot: you know in Obsidio the scene that killed us all? either before that and it’s like “I don’t wanna lose you and we’ll see each other again and i just wanna be with you one last time” or after that like “I thought you died you asshole and now I wanna show you how much I love you”🤔😂”

Warnings: It’s smut guys, also like super brief mentions of violence and death?

A/N: I actually like this? wtf? Personally I think this is the best smut I’ve written so far and I actually like it so that’s pretty awesome. you’ve got to get through a wee bit of angst before the smut comes but it’s worth it! Oh the title? Yeah...I mean I hope that by now you all know i’m shit with titles so like i’m literally never apologising for them again as of today, okay?

Word Count: 2728

*

My body shook with uncontainable sobs as I sat curled up in the corner flight deck, safely hidden from prying eyes behind boxes of mechanical gear. I'd started the moment I got back to the Mao after fighting Bei-Tech and hadn't stopped since. That was 6 hours ago but still the tears hadn't run dry.

Nik was dead. Shot down by people that had already taken far too much from both of us. It was one straw too many for me. I’d felt myself shatter - heart and soul fractured and crumbling into the dark abyss which had opened inside me. I didn't know if I could be whole again after so much loss and I wasn't even sure I wanted to be.

The sound of footsteps echoed in the silence of the abandoned deck and i shrunk further in on myself to make sure I was well and truly hidden. I didn't want anyone to see me like this even if they all probably knew anyway. The steps sped up, slowed down, stopped, came closer and moved away seemingly at random, whoever had come here was clearly looking for something. I just hoped they found it before they found me.

“(Y/N)?” A voice. An impossible voice. A voice I knew so well and thought I'd never hear again, saying my name. Stars it had never sounded so bittersweet.

“(Y/N)?” There it was again, that flawless imitation of Nik's voice, cruelly conjured from my memories. My sniffles got a little louder as I shook my head to try and rid myself of the phantom and i heard the footsteps stop, their owner listening. I tried to silence myself but a loud hiccup escaped.

The steps came quickly towards me and I tried to clean myself up as best in could before they got there. I realised it was all in vain when Nik came into view from around a stack of toolboxes.

“...No. Nonono… not this, please not this…” I shook my head and scrambled backwards as he took a step towards me, a mixture of concern and relief on his face.

“(Y/N), hey, it's okay, it's just me.”

“No. No it can't be…”

“(Y/N)...”

“No!” I yelled and scrubbed at my eyes to make the vision go away. But it was still there when I opened them again. “It can't...you're dead! You can't be here!”

“(Y/N), I'm not dead. I promise. I'm here. I'm real.” He crouched down and cradled my face in his hands. Hands that were warm and solid and so very, very real. Fuck, they were real.

“H-how? I hated the raspiness of my voice but there was nothing I could do about it after all the crying.

“Well now isn't the time for ‘I told you so’ but the parachute you all gave me shit about saved our lives.”

“So Ezra…?”

“He's okay as well.” I felt most of the tension seep out of my body and I slumped forward, Nik catching me in his arms as fresh tears fell. Tears of relief this time. “Shhh, it's okay. I'm sorry I did that to you. I know what it's like thinking you've lost someone and I never wanted to put you through that...again.”

“I'm just...I thought I lost you...for real this time.”

“I know, and I'm so sorry. If it helps this'll be the last time.” That got a small laugh out of me and I felt Nik smile as he pressed a kiss to my forehead.

“It had better be, I don't think I can take it again.”

“I promise.” One of Nik's hands tilted my head up from where it rested on his chest so he could bring our lips together. Kissing Nik wasn't something I thought I'd ever get to do again and I savoured every second of contact as if it was all still a dream or a memory that would fade too soon.

With a sudden surge of need, I tangled a hand in Nik's hair and pressed our lips more firmly together. He didn't hesitate in responding just as enthusiastically, his hands gripping tightly enough that it was slightly painful as he pulled me closer. I didn't mind the pain. Pain meant it was real, that he was real. I knew I wasn't holding him very gently either but he didn't seem at all bothered.

Desperation and relief fuelled every action as hands roamed - both of us reassuring ourselves that we were still here and whole...physically at least. Emotionally? That was another story, one we'd deal with another time. For now at least I wanted to lose myself in Nik, drown in his touch if I could, and get rid of the lingering despair that had clawed away at my heart every moment I'd thought him lost to me.

I managed to mavouver myself into his lap and wasted no time in beginning to grind against him, the need coursing through my veins not allowing me to tell him what I wanted with words. Words weren't something either of us needed right now anyway, contact was. In every touch it was clear what we craved and our bodies responded automatically and enthusiastically to the silent questions and pleas. It was only after I slid my hands down Nik's chest and started working on the button of his trousers that he pulled back slightly.

“(Y/N),” his voice was breathy and slightly hoarse and it shot a bolt of need through me. “We can't...not here...someone might-”

“They won't.” I cut him off and returned to kissing him as I finally managed to get his trousers undone. He let out a groan as I palmed him through his underwear but still tried to protest.

“They might.” With a sigh I sat back a bit and removed my hand from him. He actually had the audacity to pout a little at that even though it was his own fault.

“Everyone is too busy with other things to care about coming to the flight deck. Trust me I've been here for hours and not a single person has come in here except you. No one's gonna walk in on us. ...But like, if you don't want to...” I trailed off, wondering if maybe he really didn't want to have sex right now - it wasn't like him to be this worried about something so small.

“No I want to, stars I want to so bad, but what if someone wanders by and hears us or something?”

“Well then you'll just have to keep your pretty mouth shut won't you? I know it's hard but I think you can manage.” I smirked at him and he rolled his eyes but I saw some of the tension seep from him at seeing my significantly lighter mood. It melted something in me into a warm little puddle that he worried so much despite him being the one that almost died.

“It was more you I was worried about.” He smirked right back at me, clearly no longer concerned about the prospect of being walked in on, maybe he'd just been worried I wasn't thinking clearly and might regret it.

“Well if you keep my mouth busy then we won't have a problem, will we?”

“No, we won't, and I think I'm up to that particular task.” Just to prove it, he brought our lips together again in a kiss so hot and intense it felt like my whole body was being engulfed in flames. When he broke it I was left breathless and desperate for more. More of those kisses, more of those hands that were burning at my waist, more of everything Nik would give. As it happened, he was willing to give me everything.

I returned my hand to where I knew Nik wanted it and he he moaned a little at the contact. While one of his own hands slid up my shirt, the other found its way down the back of my trousers and rested firmly against my ass as he pulled me closer to him. His lips moved from my own and to my neck, kissing every inch of skin he had access to and leaving marks I'd never be able to hide. Another day I might have complained, but they’d be a reminder that this had happened and Nik was here. I let him make as many as he liked. Eventually he moved his hand on my butt between us to pop open the button of my trousers, far quicker than I'd managed, and slid his fingers into my underwear.

I gasped out at the first touch and reflexively moved my hips into his hand, chasing the tiny jolts of pleasure he brought. I felt his pleased smile against my flushed skin and pressed my hand more firmly against him in retaliation. His answering groan left a grin on my face to match his.

Nik, the little shit that he was, normally took his time, teasing me until I threatened to kick his ass into next week if he didn’t get on with it, but not today. He paused briefly after the first stroke of my clit and I was fully prepared to growl out my frustration - now was not the time for this - but, to my surprise he slid two fingers into me just a moment later. A loud noise that was equal parts surprise and pleasure escaped me and my hands flew to my mouth to try and stifle the ones that followed as Nik continued to move his fingers in a steady but certainly not slow rhythm.

He looked up at me and I had to stifle another goan at the unfiltered desire in his gaze. It seared my skin and heated my blood until it felt more like lava was running through my veins. His free hand left its place up my shirt and pulled my own away from my mouth so he could kiss me once more - hot, hard, and desperate. Now with his lips to muffle the obscene string of sounds I couldn’t seem to contain and my hands free, I pushed Nik’s underwear down as far as I could and pulled out his already fully-hard cock. Wrapping a hand around it, I began stroking in the same rhythm as he set with his own hand in me. His breath hitched audibly and his movements stuttered to a stop for a moment at the stimulation I provided him before I rolled my hips impatiently and swiped my thumb over his head. He groaned at the extra pleasure but restarted his movements, this time adding a third finger and pressing his thumb firmly against my clit.

Both our movements sped up as the pleasure and desperation for more built. I could feel release slowly creeping up on me and when Nik curled his fingers just so and hit a spot that had me seeing stars I knew I wouldn’t last much longer and was fairly sure he wouldn’t either. I ground down furiously against his fingers making sure to keep him hitting that same spot inside me over and over and was almost there when he abruptly removed his hand from my underwear. I barely had time to comprehend what he was doing through my desire-addled thoughts before I was laid down on the floor and Nik was dragging my trousers and underwear down my legs and throwing them off to the side along with my boots. He pulled his own down enough to keep them out of the way but was too impatient to bother with more as he leaned over me to connect our lips hungrily and finally slide himself into me. He didn’t move immediately and I could tell from the tension in his body that he was waiting a moment to calm down and make it last more than a few seconds but I was completely out of patience and shifted my hips to try and urge him on.

“Please...Nik please,” I begged when my efforts went unrewarded. “I need you, please just...I need you to fuck me.”

“...Fuck.” The word was breathed out shakily against my skin and it only made me more desperate. Luckily Nik’s patience had evaporated with my pleas and he finally drew his hips back and thrust back into me.

He didn’t bother starting steady this time but immediately set a hard and fast rhythm that had me crying out with no restraint as I attempted to move my hips to meet his. He wrapped an arm under me and lifted my hips, effectively stopping my own movements but changing the angle so he hit my g-spot on every thrust. My back arched as my pleasure doubled and I gripped desperately at Nik’s shirt - the only thing keeping my nails from scratching up his skin from the force of my grip.

I felt myself hurtling towards my release and with just a few more thrusts from Nik I was clenching around him and crying out his name as it flooded through me and I came harder than I ever had before. I barely noticed Nik coming soon after as the waves of my orgasm washed over me and blocked out anything that wasn’t a feeling of total bliss.

I only came back to myself when I felt him pull out of me, a soft whine from the empty feeling he left and the overstimulation leaving my lips. I heard him flop down beside me and turned my head to look at him. Beads of sweat ran down the side of his face and his expression was one of exhausted contentment. His chest was rising and falling heavily as he tried to regain his breath and his hair was an absolute mess that I couldn’t resist reaching up to run my hand through. A smile worked its way onto his face and he turned towards me, shifting a bit so he could press a soft kiss to my lips. I noticed him wince a little as he pulled away again and immediately sat up with a frown.

“You’re hurt.” I said accusingly. I could feel tears prickling at my eyes as it reminded me of how close he’d come to dying.

“I’m fine.” I didn’t buy it and he could tell. “I am, I promise. It’s nothing serious and a medic already looked me over and said I was okay.”

“But you almost weren’t.” My voice was barely more than a whisper and shook slightly. Nik immediately sat up as well and pulled me into his arms.

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t ever do that again, you asshole.”

“What? Fuck you so good you black out for 5 minutes?” I hit his shoulder playfully at that.

“No, that you can do again. A lot. But next time you almost die, I’m killing you myself.”

“I don’t doubt that you will. But you don’t have to worry, that’s never happening again.”

“Good.” I kissed him quickly once more before getting up and fetching my clothes from where Nik had thrown them earlier. My legs were a bit weak and shaky but I managed to pick them up and put them on without issue. As soon as I was done I felt arms slide around my waist and lips against my cheek.

“Y’know, if you’re planning to go, you should probably fix your hair.” Nik murmured, his smirk clear in his voice.

“There’s really no point when you did that.” I lifted a hand to point at my neck as I replied.

“Good point. Come on then, let’s go be useful.”

“Or we could go do something else…somewhere more private...” I turned in his arms and looked up at him, eyebrow raised suggestively.

“Something else sounds good.” I grinned as I disentangled myself from his arms and started to walk away. He caught up in just a couple of steps and slid a hand into my back pocket as I wrapped my arm around his waist. I smiled and leaned into him a bit as we made our way through the ship halls glad my waking nightmare was finally over and my friends and I had lived through it. Nik had come back to me and I was never, ever, going to lose him again.

*

Tag Lists: (send an ask if you want to be added!)

Everything: @wonderfilledness

Illuminae: @thats-so-bucky

[akvtsuki-ari]

Intricacy

Warnings: angst, angst to fluff, nsfw-ish (nothing super graphic but sorta,)  Length: 2.9k  Authors Note: inspired heavy by this song by the artic monkeys, gets super corny at the end bc i love fluff and h -  Summary: Spencer can’t deny he needs you but do you need him? Thats all he wants to know 

Intoxication, pure and unfiltered seeping into his lungs and clouding his thoughts with nothing but the images of primal lust only a woman like you could bring Spencer. Leaving a man speechless takes nothing short of what one could call capabilities in seduction, but Spencer Reid wasn’t most men.

He couldn’t deny himself the obvious, the factor that would indeed be that you were awfully attractive. A beautiful woman, a capable one. Sure physically he saw you nothing short of stunning, your haircut framed your face and the clothes you wore for him and him only burned into the back of his brain like most of the things he remembered didn’t. And sure when he thought of you most of his memories are of you on your knees, and the soft sounds you made when he tugged at your hair, or the way you look bent over the side of couch in a hotel room because you made it utterly impossible for him to just wait.

Spencer Reid couldn’t call it love, not yet anyways. As much as it wasn’t lust either, you just happened to be you. You were woman, and undeniably intelligent, stunningly gorgeous, and fiercely powerful woman, with a kind heart and even gentler amount of attitude. And every one of Spencer 5 senses had images and thoughts and pictures and recollections of you, oh the things our beautiful boy genius would do to get a taste of your company made him speechless.

Spencer reid was not the type for primal desire, desire for him was based solely upon love, and you, a woman he so desperately loved made him feel like he could do anything. Not a rush of adrenaline, but a life-line, a reassurance. In all the ways you were a need, you were a want, you were a must. When he got chances to call you, he did. Just to speak to you, get an opinion, or hear your voice. And when you called him out on the fact he just happened to miss, in the way you only could with all the love and gentleness of almost a mother, he couldn’t help it but smile.

In the moment, all he could think about was you and how soft your thighs felt under his fingertips, with the desire to please you clouding his head. His mouth placing open mouthed kisses onto your neck and his other hand rubbing you out onto him softly, lacking in vulgarity but filled with the kind of lust you can only receive from longing. Spencer Reid longed for you, to make you feel good, to hear his name come out of your mouth  that would read to him as holy as sermon, in that moment in something that is typically so filthy, Spencer would look to be yours in whatever way he could.

“Spencer - aah” Your voice was smooth as ever, he felt you convulse as you came, and he held your hips down with gentle ferver.

“You look pretty like this, you’re gorgeous when you’re vulnerable like this for me, you’re like artwork,” he whispers praise to you, and he means, he loves telling you how you did, loves reassuring you and watching as your face makes expressions of pleasure in a way that only he could. Took pride in it.

Once you’ve finished, you move your hips to let Spencer have his chance at release. Your movement is quick and teasing in some sense, and with no regards to anything, you place both of your hands on his face and kiss him, he moans into your mouth and smile.

“Y/N,” your name is so sweet in his mouth, you kiss him again. Chasing the taste of him chasing his touch, and his ache. He pulls out and finishes on your stomach. Both of you sit, fascinated with each other. Touching foreheads, your heartbeat pounds in your eardrums, and Spencer just sits and admires. To him, your body was what he said it was, artwork. Covered in scars, and a couple tattoos. And history, Spencer wanted to be apart of that so desperately.

His lips find your neck, and he bites hickies into it. The gesture is soft, loving even. But even Spencer can admit in his own possession. You sigh satsified, as Spence leans over and hands you a towel to wipe yourself off with.

“You haven’t left marks on me in a while, “ you comment absentmindedly. He hums into you, and you smile.

“I missed it,” he says back. The two of you sit like that for a while, and even after the comedown Spencer is simply infatuated, even in the moment. The two of you are just soft heart beats and strong grips but he can’t stop thinking about you.

Even when he stops, the nape of your neck covered in rather dark marks and you smile. He grins at his handiwork too and you roll your eyes.

“Lemme get dressed, and we can sit for a while, okay?,” you repeat to him. Spencer nods, you place a hand to his face and run your thumb along his scruff. You hop off and his eyes follow your every move.  Entranced by your ability to just be you.

You come out a big sweater and thigh high socks, with some cute boyshort panties, everything matching. Spencer jaw drops and he smiles up at you, you take a seat on his lap. A place you liked to be despite his clear embarassment, and smile at him. You sat facing forward, turning back to place a soft kiss at his jaw and is arms find themselves around his waist. His comfort is so warm, and you can’t help but nuzzle into him. He did himself a favor and changed into some pj’s and the two of you sat very cozy.

You turn around to face him, missing the view of being cuddled in his lap that way. He smiles big, and so do you.

“It’s been a while since we’ve able to you know, relax like this,” you comment. Spencer nods.

“Our situations complicated, we work with profilers after all, Y/N. I’m surprised that, no ones caught on to it yet,” He replies. You nod, placing your arms around his neck and leaning.

“We didn’t put a name on it for that very reason, beloved,” you reply. Spencer feels a pang of remorse in his chest, and sighs. He’s silent for a second to long, and you catch on to it.

“What's wrong?” you ask softly. Spencer doesn’t look at you, he’s frustrated. He’s making the face he does when he’s frustrated, you knew it well. Years of cases worked, and even more of him being upset when he needed you to come see him and assure him. One of the things Spencer loved about you was that, the way you were there for him.

“Nothing,” he replies, but his voice gives him away. Spencer loved you, that much was sure. Spencer adored you in the way he could only for one woman. The sort of fondness with your sort of magic. Adulation filled him when he looked at you, perhaps that was part of the problem, the way you looked at his expression, brows furrowed, jaw tightened, eyes squinted ever so slightly, your sympathy for whatever he went through, despite not knowing what it is.

“Spence,” you only called him that when you meant it, or worded better, when you knew he needed to hear the closeness the two of you shared, a reminder of your correspondence with one another. He sigh, melting into your fingertips through his hair, hazel colored and all.

“It’s silly, Y/N,” he replies, you shake your head.

“Not to me,” you reply.

“You don’t even know what it is,” he giggles to you. You roll your eyes.

“It could be the fact that you really need to pee and I’d write you letters of comfort,” you respond again. His smile is clear, but so is his anxiety as it softens. You place a hand on his face and run your thumb on his cheek.

“Cmon, baby,” the nickname is smooth. Like milk and honey, sweet, and comfortable.

“We’ve been doing.. well - this, for 3 years now. I still remember you walking into the BAU, and just knowing what kind of person you were. You were so beautiful, and when you spoke you were kind, and intelligent, and so helpful to everyone, and I felt so lucky to just be with you…” he trailed off, not being able to make eye contact. He could feel your discomfort and sighed.

“But?,” you question.

“But Y/N, I am so utterly in love with you. I think about you everyday, and all the time. And most of our memories make me dream the way I did when I was in highschool sure, but you’re this woman, this gorgeous, and profoundly intelligent woman and the longer we don’t have a title, the more and more I can’t help but wonder if I should save heart from shattering more than it would and move on, even though I’m not sure I could. Y/N, do you just not want to be with me, or is it something else that I can think of, to get rid of this sinking feeling,” he confesses to you solemnly. You frown at him of course, unsure of how to explain.

You both sit for a while, you wipe the tears that come his way and he sniffles.

“To be honest with you Spencer, in the beginning I just wasn’t sure about anything. I liked you, so much but if this was something temporary I didn’t wanna risk my ability or for that matter credibility as a profiler, the whole lay low thing worked. And I guess, part of me is just afraid that if it gets too serious, you’ll get bored of me, you know? We know each other so intimately, and trust each other so much, but you’re Spencer Reid, the most brilliant person most people get the chance of knowing. And there are so many women you could be with, I guess the last 3 years I’ve just been waiting in way. For you to move on, away from this whole thing. You have this prolific career you can’t risk, and I mean - I’m just me. I’m a profiler, a good agent but a part of me has always believed that the fun of this, for you was the whole not being committed thing, not having to worry about it because there wasn’t anything there” you explain to him nervously. He frowns.

“Do I seem like that kind of guy to you, Y/N?,” he questioned, you sigh.

“You’d be surprised, Spence. How many men like you are like that,” you reply.

Spencer was at a loss, for what could be the first time in his life, because he had never considered that. That perspective was unknown to him, that you could ever consider yourself to be shame on him. Spencer always saw it quite the opposite, that you were this drop dead gorgeous woman, and that maybe that's why this was secret for the two of you.

“Y/N, I have this dream, at least once a week these days, where I’m married to you. And we live this in this quiet apartment, and I read to you. And when we go on dates it’s to things we always talk about but never get the chance, and it always ends with just being in the office, holding hands and getting coffee, and I can’t help but wonder what it means,” Spencer admits.

You look at him for a while, your eyes are looming with thoughts.

“Would you marry me, Spencer?,” you asks shyly.

“In a heartbeat,” his response is so assured.

Your heart thumps in your eardrums, the weather is rainy and gloomy but the it fits the mood so well. The two of you sit, your hands resting in Spencers lap, as he takes one and kisses your knuckles. You blush red and Spencer smiles. For three years it’s been silent on the end of the commitment, any off day you could take you were together. And most nights, Spence would drive over when he could and avoid getting caught in the act of being in love. And some days Spence would offer to house sit while you were away, and at work the two of you were kind to each other but you did so well in hiding it. You always hid, away from all the light and loved Spencer in the shadows. But you didn’t like being in the dark, because in darkness you couldn’t see Spencer well, and you wanted to see him. To know he was here.

In all this artificial light, when you looked at Spencers kind eyes, the indent between his eyebrows when he’d think, or his lips, full and pink. You suppose you knew.

“I want you to marry me, Spencer,” you repeat softly.

“Okay,” he says again.

You kiss each other, both of you crying. Soft tears, but not sad ones. Happy ones, ones full of love and acceptance, and joy. Your arms are wrapped around each other, with a love so powerful the rooms over could feel it vibrate. If this is what being together felt like then she hopes it lasts forever.

__

Finally, and after a lovely 3 days, Doctor Spencer Reid walks into the BAU and he is shining. Glowing from the inside out. Not only does he greet everyone happily, he sits on his desk and smiles. He radiates it.

“Alright, kid, I’ll take the bait. What's got you so happy? Some convention got you excited?,” Rossi asks jokingly.

“I’m married,” Reid replies softly. Rossi chuckles

“Oh yeah? To what book?,” he jokes, assuming Spencer is also joking.

But there you are, his beautiful wife, and the woman he’s longed after for so many years, with a ring on your finger, a matching gold wedding band.

“No book, just me,” you reply softly. You’re both extremely apprehensive, but Reid laces his fingers with yours and smiles. Rossi's look like they’re about to pop out of his head, he’s at a complete loss of words.

“Hey guys - WOAH - are they, are they holding hands? Why are you guys holding hands, is this a prank? Is it april fools - no no it’s like late March it’s not april yet - WAIT, oh my god are those RINGS? Why are you two wearing matching rings, you guys? What’s going on - are you  - are you married?? That’s not it right? If this is a prank, I swear it’s not funny anymore” Garcia babbles on. You blush beet red, as now JJ, Prentiss, Derek, and Hotch are all just over the corner looking at the both of you. Spencer is extremely shy and just grips your hand tighter.

“Nope, we’re married,” you reply. Penelope gasps.

“Marrie- MARRIED?? HOW ARE YOU TWO MARRIED?? When did you even start dating - you haven’t even been dating - WAIT… have you two been dating??,” Everyone else just sort of nods in agreement, Prentiss and JJ are shocked, and Derek has the biggest grin on his face. Hotch smiles.

“It’s um - complicated,” you reply, stuttering. Mostly because you and Spencers excuse to see eachother was sex, because if it was feelings it’d get serious. So like clockwork it was having sex, and a lot of it all the time. If anything you were friends with benefits but how do you explain that to your boss.

‘Oh my god, you guys,” Prentiss has a whine in her tone, “how long?,” she asks.

“3 years?,” you reply Meekly. Everyone gasps and you jump back in surprise.

“WOW! 3 years Pretty Boys been getting laid by a beautiful lady and not a word, you know what they say pus-” Morgan starts.

“Morgan,” Hotch reprimands. Derek laughs and gets quiet.

“Oh, Spence..” JJ’s the first one to get emotional, she rushed over to give him a hug and part of Y/N is aware that she’s probably known for the longest while known. After they hug, JJ turns to you and hugs you and the whole team showers you all in love.

“Okay, okay - now that all thats over, there is no way in hell I’m allowing you two to just get married and have us not be at the reception. We’re throwing it at my house, so you better take some time off and get a dress for us, and you Spencer, shave your damn face and get suit alright? Congratulations, both of you,” Rossi says. The two of you laugh and nod

“Thanks Rossi, will do,” you reply.

“Congrats Y/N, Reid -  and I hate to interrupt this moment but we have a case. I’m assured that you two will not let this interfere with your work?,” he asks the both of you nod, as Garcia heads to the conference room to discuss, mumbling about how betrayed she was as she walked. You and Spence watched as everyone cleared out, to give you privacy

Spencer stands and places a hand on your neck, a soft peck placed on your lips.

“Cmon, Mrs. Reid, lets go work on this case,” he says as he walks. You follow.

And how free you felt.