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andrewfoleywritesthings · 7 years

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Absolutely Gardnersonsonson, Jr. III and the Tomb of Annihilation, Week 3

I’ve been playing D&D again for the first time in a few years. I missed it more than I realized. After yesterday’s session I wrote the following recap in character as Absolutely “Abso” Gardnersonson Jr. III, a great-nephew of Siege of Dragonspear’s Glint “Three-Eyes” Gardnersonson:

Dear Mum — There was a plan, of that much I’m certain. I’m not sure what happened to it, but fear not! All turned out for the best. It’s my turn at watch + I’m bored. I woke WELYN up – he’s usually fairly entertaining, but alas, he seems even more determined to sleep than usual. So I write to you, my favourite mother, instead. After saving scores of people at the TEMPLE OF TYMORA from a veritable horde of skeletons + zombies, I + each of my friends received a jug of a delightful mead-like beverage I may have partaken slightly too much of. My cleric friend VICCI was also given a potion of some sort. I want to drink it. While this was happening, we observed a fellow observing us. As soon as he realized we’d observed his observation (I think my waving to him might have given it away), this fellow vanished before our very eyes! It was quite a thing to see, and then not see, if you get my meaning. A different fellow, who turned out to be ESHEK, ACOLYTE OF SAVRAS, showed up, looking like he drank more tench than I was about to. He told Vicci we should seek the “Wise Guardian of Oralunga, east of Maballa”. Eshek then proceeded to sober up at unprecedented speed + promptly forgot what he’d done the last 12 hours. We escorted Eshek to Savras’ temple in the northern part of PORT NYARANZARU, where we consulted with the temple’s leader, GRANDFATHER Z’TEMBE. We told the good Grandfather we sought the necromantic device responsible for the DEATH CURSE. He told us he would seek wisdom from his god – I think Savras is a god, if not She’s most likely a goddess – and that we should return the next day to receive that wisdom. We bought the supplies we needed from the Souk + saw dinosaur races. Welyn won some gold, Sanna lost some. I broke even, because I didn’t have enough gold to gamble with + besides, gambling w. gold’s silly. You can buy things w. gold, like Chultan leather armor, which I actually had just bought, which is why I had no gold to gamble w. Then back to our quarters at the House of Repose. Well, I went to our quarters. I’d had perhaps a little too much tench in the previous hours. My friends, on the other hand, met the vanishing fellow from Tymora’s temple, whose name is ROKA. Which reminds me of Aunt Cousin Mathilda’s almond roka. That is my favourite roka. This new roka is my fourth favourite roka, at best. I’m still not sure what to make of him. I rid myself of the tench, but could not shake a stench. If you ever have the opportunity to smell turtle man slurry, I highly recommend you find someone else to take it. Unfortunately, the tortle slurry was MUDCRAW – you remember, the one who did the thing with his head that was going to guide us? He had a room down the hall from our own. When I examined his shell, I discovered a medallion of the OTEMKA (triceratops) SOCIETY – an organization everyone in Chult seems to know about despite the fact that it’s damnably hard to get anyone to talk about. The medallion is a curious item to have found – apparently the Society usually leaves them as a warning prior to doing something as harsh as melting someone inside their shell. Perhaps a new recruit was a little overeager, like Old Shine was w. the basilisk (I still can’t believe he did that + survived!) (!!!). I learned about the Otemka Society from Roka, who, as I said, had made arrangements w. my friends. Those arrangements turned out to revolve around me – They agreed that I would create a distraction at the Flaming Fist’s Fort Something or Other (forgive me, Mum, the tench has made this a little blurry). This distraction would lure those inside the main keep outside, allowing Roka to sneak into the keep to perform a service for his employers. This Roka’s a cagey fellow. Despite some stunningly clever questioning of him by me, I couldn’t determine who Roka’s employers are. This seemed to make me more uneasy than it does my friends – how often does that happen? Before we rendezvoused w. Roka, we returned to the Temple of Savras, where Grandfather Z’tembe told us he’d been blessed w. a vision of a jungle city far to the south. This city, according to him, is surrounded by cliffs + filled w. snakes. Like, a lot of snakes. In the city there is a black obelisk, shrouded in vines. He believes we were right to seek the Death Curse’s source in Chult. Actually, it was our employer SINDRA SILVANE who was right, but that’s neither here nor butter. Despite my misgivings, I agreed to take part in Roka’s scheme. In exchange we would be provided w. a FLAMING FIST charter of Chultan passage, as well as the services of 2 experienced guides should we succeed in aiding Roka in accomplishing his mysterious goals. The journey to Fort Thingie took longer than expected. During it we encountered a wild dinosaur at unnervingly close range + saw 3 aaracokra – I remember Huzzah! telling me of such birdmen when he returned from the east last midwinter. They sounded most interesting, but alas they kept their distance, a distance too distant for me to get to know them to any useful degree. We arrived at Fort Whatsit + examined the area, determining that the best option to pull people from the keep would be to free the horses – the first horses we’d seen since arriving in Chult, mind you. It seemed a good idea at the time. Before executing our cunning plan, we scoped out the keep I mean we got our charter from the CASTELLAN in the keep. While there I located a bell rope that, through an act of supreme gnomish will, I managed not to pull. For a time. Having received our charter, it was agreed that we should execute our clever scheme. Vicci got the horses worked up, convincing them their imminent future involved a glue factory. After that I slapped some rumps + got them stampeding – as much as seven horses can stampede – out of the stable. Having freed the horses, I made my way into the keep to ensure the plan had worked. SANNA accompanied me in this effort. She’s a good sort for a barbarian and certainly some sort for a halfling. The plan had, in fact, not worked. Realizing the hold was far from empty, we made our way to the bottom of the belltower + closed the door. Sanna + I had a minor disagreement over our course of action, which, despite her best efforts, involved my pulling the bell rope twice before being pulled away from the bell rope by force. Sanna wanted to drag me from the keep, but that wasn’t going to work – the Fists that remained inside, including the Castellan, were upon us in an instant. I thought quickly because there was no time to think any other way. “The horses!” I screamed. “They’ll kill us! They’ll kill us all!” My performance was pitch perfect + Sanna’s got the job done. Rather than killing or confining us in the stockade, we were escorted from Fort Thatplaceoverthere. I don’t know what happened to Vicci + Welyn while Sanna + I executed the plan I’m reasonably sure we all agreed upon, but by late afternoon we found them back where we’d stored the canoe. Did I mention we rode a canoe most of the way to the fort? We did. I slept under it. Comfy. Around midnight Roka returned to the canoe. He advised me not to return to the fort. I’ve already seen the fort + frankly, outside of the bell + the dinosaur pen, it has little to recommend it, so why would I want to return? Other than to give the Flaming Fist the half of whatever treasure we discover. I wonder if the Castellan would rather see me less than she would like to see half of whatever we manage to procure, assuming we manage to procure anything other than mad monkey fever. Our group has adopted the name Mad Monkey Fever, by the way. Did I tell you that earlier? Well if I didn’t, we did. Mad Monkey Fever, that’s us. Come morning we’ll begin the journey back to Port Nyanzaru. There, Roka will introduce us to his guide friends, whose services on our behalf he’s agreed to pay for. Yawn. I believe my time watching over the party is nearing an end. I’ll wake Vicci in a moment, but first, there’s something I must get off my chest: As a rule death doesn’t worry me overmuch, but as a rule death is not so permanent as current circumstances have made it. For the first time in my life I’m more afraid to die than I am to live – I can think of nothing less gnomish than that. I can’t let the others know, of course. As their leader they rely on me to keep their morale up – I must show no fear + so I shan’t. But I am afraid, Mum. Afraid I may not see you or Huzzah! or cousin Bent or Auntie Beryl or any of my friends other than the friends I have w. me now ever again. The other options available suit me even less than this one I’ve chosen, however. So I shall keep marching forward, putting one foot before the other as I continue walking this path we call ADVENTURE! Love, your favourite son, Absolutely Post-script – I got one of those feather cloaks I told you about in my last letter! (I think Vicci actually looks better in hers, but I’d never tell her that. Her head’s quite big enough as it is.)

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ofparadigmandstars-blog · 8 years

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Mon 27 March .....I better write something or I will kill

Comfort nearing today .... Not thinking it's going to be good or healthy. Now remember I am a health freak so my lifestyle is pretty slick n span ....So when I do these things it's like a warning signal that something is up? I will visit, I a!Ways do. I will never sink to the bottom. I remember I liked to play this game in the pool ; I would get lifeless and slowly sink to the floor of the pool & stay there till I was totally out of breath. And that kicking, rush of life would come gushing in and I would rise to the top like an elegant mermaid and rock back my head at the surface ..My hair all wet and flat down my shoulders, my face cleared from heavy waves , small drops trickling down my cheeks...My lungs gratefully full of air... Feeling courageous & beautiful So my uncle and aunt came to visit us yesterday .. I was so glad to see them. We had a lovely afternoon , few glasses of wine for mum & I - Dun had some beers and aunty coonie had some fresh fruity water I made for her. She was one to be the center of every party, the drinker, the massive social hostess of Zimbabwe & Zambia. Well unfortunately she was diagnosed with cancer and so it's all healthy living now , plus she survived a very aggressive cancer. So glad to see her alive and not succumb.... Anyway great afternoon , can't fault it; however I may be over sensitive or perhaps feeling uncomfortable about it but he asked twice 'so what are your plans with work now your back home....' I know it's a sensible question to ask but I felt invaded and searched. Interrogated almost....And it's been bothering me since. With yoga and meditation it's really been helping me to calm my neurotic nature that I do believe I have genetically inherited from my mum, John, Marlene. And for once to not always be on the defensive and to just let go and let God. So many thoughts have raced through my mind since the incident becoming more and more ferocious. The mind is a jungle mania if you don't just think it through or write this shit out ! And perhaps see how ridiculous your being . I felt he was taking on the elderly male figurehead as my mum is a widow and we lost our dad when we were young. So my mum has always put out this needy nature around his company. Like please offer direction and discipline to my unruly children. Well in this case it felt uncomfortable and dumbfounded because never have I spoken to him , never has he called me or reached out in some kind of heroic father figure head move... So why after 16 years of living in London do I now come home and find that it's an outrage and I am back living with mum. And shouldn't I be settled and in a stable job, have a husband and kids? No actually I'm a freaking freak at 35! You have no idea about my life so don't you come here on some cloud asking me about what I'm supposed to be doing - God fucken dam life is way too complicated you self righteous dum old fuck....Traditional and stuck in your ways , those do not apply now....And you just did not live my life. You were not there at every corner to understand it? Life is not one magic miraculous 'shit always works out' mould....it is full of twists and turns, ups, downs, highs , lows...And that I truly believe ...Being the self proclaimed happy hippy I am ...That is the beauty of it. I am where I am supposed to be.... This is how it's worked out and I am all accepting of where I am and what I'm doing. So bugger off you boring fuck. Was that too much? Anyway no it was not and he had no right but than again I've been away 16 years and perhaps he still feels the need to play the daddy knows best and let me make sure your doing what's right you lost little lamb. Ruuuuuuude It's no secret I'm pissed off huh? The more I write the more I excrete.... I'm feeling better for it. And I will keep feeling better until I feel amazing because I know how to master my self and my emotions. So I wanted to email him but let it go.... He is not thinking about this one shred is the truth of it. He had his moment in the sun basking in the radiance of my mother's approval at the time and I was so not taking it in at that moment either just answering him as you would answer a teacher in class when asked a question. I coloured it with jovially because I meant it but I thought back later last night and when you go over stuff I thought...Wait a minute..He got a cheek. Or I'm a freak and giving myself a hard time because I do believe deep inside my psyche that I must be working already ... No that's incorrect, I just think he wanted to clarify my plans....Because in the past my sister has returned home and did not bother working but instead fought with my mum day and night because well they always have and well my family is the most disfunctional piece of work ever! Put you in the picture my family are well off....My dad left my mum property and a workshop and she made successes of everything - and we are privileged. My dad was an alcoholic and my mum a pharmaceutical addict. They fought alot but insane about 4 or 5 and don't remember much but it was pretty hostile. So I'm a fuck up because my family are screwed up ....And wait a minute it's who said anything about me being screwed up. It's just don't expect miracles from a neglected child...I mean I remember zero support from any of them educationally, helping me realise my dreams, no one came to my school open days, no one cared about my life. As long as I was eating and sleeping and had shelter ...Which I'm super grateful for but really there was no structure. I was allowed to do what I wanted. Mum is not angry with me or wanting me to leave the house ...But it's just that hope I make something of myself or meet some really nice guy who will ride me into a perfect sunset. Back..... I was interrupted by Whitney and mum/John who were stopped by copper - anyway will round up.... Yes it was awkward what Danny did but you know what Fuck him rude illiterate twit, gets money from my sister in time, arrogant and gives zero shits about anyone but his nearest ...Yet still feels the need to take this patriarch position in the family. You were not in UK with me, not one freaking day of all those years. I enjoyed my time , I loved, I lost, I fought, worked, earned and paid all my God dam dues!! Plus sent money home to mum....lots! So I have risen and figured it out in my head , I am allllriiight and people will be people, extended family will always be talk, gossip and be green with blatant envy (Geral) but I rise and rise even higher because they make it so clear that my happiness is important and Indo not give a dam what they think. Life is precious and my life is very valuable to be. I have lived enough to know that I will not be fucked with....No way...I am only living for love , clarity, freedom and peace. The rest of those fuckers can drop dead. I feel so much better...... Playing guitar now...Time or bed XX Remember babe..... Keep improving yourself, enjoy your days, keep learning, laugh, take care of yourself , don't sweat the small stuff and don't take any bullshit.

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