#but loudly and proudly proclaiming this shit like it's justified...

[sayitwityachest]

Lesbians and Bi women have differing and specific experiences- this is indisputable and needs to be respected. However, some women use this fact as a shield to be grossly misogynistic and biphobic. One of the best examples is this weird obsession with bi women and whether or not they are attracted to or will date a man at some point. God I've seen so many fucking posts with lesbians crying about this shit and talking about how valid they are for the resulting distrust and/or disgust in bi women in general for an experience they had or-OR SOMETIMES LITERALLY DIDN'T HAVE.

Here's a funfact: I'm a bisexual woman and i've felt the misery and rage they describe towards other bi women for "choosing" men/boys over me. It's terrible, it's all consuming, and most of all, it's completely pathetic. Now, that's not to say it isn't understandable to feel that way, but it's another thing entirely to take those feelings and decide that it's the other woman's fault (or in this case, all bisexual women LOL). It's definitely easier for me as a bisexual to look over those feelings and figure out that they are unfair and unreasonable for me to have, it's definitely easier for me as someone who not only has, but listens to and values, female bi friends to know my insecurities are not truly founded, but come from the fact that we grow up in a heterosexist society that only shows opposite sex relationships as an option and stresses to women and girls how a man is the best and most important thing you can have in your life. But just because it might be easier for me to sort through those emotions, doesn't mean it's not terrible, and it certainly doesn't mean that lesbians shouldn't be expected to figure their shit out instead of taking it out on bi women.

I've seen other bi women chime into these conversations like "this has happened to me, it sucks" only to be very swiftly struck down with "this is not something you as a bisexual can understand." (Usually said with more scorn and mocking) It's almost funny to be honest, the way some bi women on here try time and time again to be "good bis" just to keep getting shit on. How do these lesbians know how bisexual women feel? It seems we are constantly told we have no idea how they feel, and i'd have to agree that i have no way of guessing what it's like to be a lesbian, the same way they have no idea what it's like to be me. I can however, read the feelings they describe and recognize those very feelings inside of me, the ones that i know are wrong and come from a place of self-loathing. I can know that because i feel such strong attraction and chemistry to women, i only want to be with them, so any reasoning of "well bisexuals cannot understand because they can ChOoSE a 'het' relationship and access all heterosexual privileges, so no they don't understand how this really feels" just shows how little they understand bisexuals and obviously biphobia. No bisexual can access all het privileges because we are fucking bisexual. It doesn't matter how repressed or closeted we are because those themselves are not heterosexual privileges (just one example). And i know damn well that I won't have any of those privileges because i cannot be with a man, i can't do it. There are many times i wish i were capable of it, but i just don't see it as a possibility.

All this to say, I'm really fucking tired of this shit. I'm tired of having my own feelings and experiences explained to me. I'm tired of supposed feminists exposing their own blatant hypocrisy again and again and everyone applauds it. I am so tired of these straight women on radblr who think it's okay to be biphobic. i'm just so tired of all this shit.

"log off" maybe. but it happens irl too, all the time, at least on here i can see what other bi feminists are thinking and take comfort in that.