#but now he’s pissed because i rejected him LITERALLY ON FUCKING FACETIME for like the third time

[m4ndysk4nkovich]

no fucking way did it take this guy ive been talking to go from “you’re the prettiest girl i’ve ever seen” to “you’re a stupid white trash hoe” in like four days

[taasgirl]

say something pt 1.

summary: although playing for the same club, pedri and y/n cannot stand the thought of being around each other. enemies to lovers for all my girlies out there - i got u

a/n: not proofread and all in english + more installments coming soon!!

"I told you I can't go out." Salma hadn't stopped bothering me about some party with the men's team. I had so much school to catch up on.

"Come on don't be a party pooper. You study every night and train every day." I spun my chair to face my laptop. "Seriously Y/N, it's only one night." Rolling my eyes, I continued writing my paper.

I had been at university for the past year or so, while simultaneously playing football. For Barcelona. I know, pinch me moment. But I was so determined to graduate high school, and get a degree. I wasn't going to let anything stop me.

Even if it was my dream profession.

The coaches and staff at Barcelona were very understanding, however they weren't too happy when I had to leave training early for lectures.

But I guess I make up for it, I'm the league's top goal scorer, currently on 21 in 9 games. A feat slightly unbelievable to my lecturers and classmates - they think it's insane that someone 'famous' would even bother with university, but I love journalism. Something about writing is so me. Especially topics that I love.

"Don't be a bum Y/N." Truth is, I really wanted to go, but I had already agreed to help one of my classmates with some work.

"I'm supposed to be studying with Alex." Salma instantly spun me around. "The hot one?" I didn't respond.

Alex and I had our fair share of flirty kisses and almost intimate moments, with Salma being our first and only 'fan'. Seriously her words not mine.

"Well bring him then. You two should loosen up. Literally everyone will be bringing a plus one." Now that would actually be a good idea, but he seemed like he really needed my help, and lucky for me, he didn't want to bother me so it would all be through facetime. I could study in the comfort of my bed, in my pyjamas.

"Sorry Sal, you have fun but I'm staying back." She scoffed, this happened a lot, she'd invite me, I'd reject, and then say, "You look really hot though."

"Wait so what did you write about?" I would be lying if I said this wasn't awkward. We had hooked up a few times, and yet each time we spoke to each other it was just as awkward as the last. The term 'friends with benefits' was definitely not applicable to us.

"Umm, mine's just about some of my teammates. You know, sports injuries and that sort of stuff." He smiled when I spoke.

"It's so cool knowing you." Awkward silence soon followed. "Hey uh, I'd really like to take you out. To dinner maybe? You know, when you're not busy being a professional and all that." Well I can't really reject the guy who's made me orgasm multiple times.

"Yeah sure. I'm sure we could go out after class one day." Yeah I was not going to go out with him.

After a few hours of studying with Alex I got a call from Salma. "Hey Alex, I'm getting a call, I'll message you later." Hanging up our facetime, answered Salma's call.

"How's hot boy? Have you fucked yet." She was slurring her words. Definitely off her face drunk. "Hey is this Y/N?" I replied to the voice, one of a man's. "Listen we need you to come pick Salma up, she's drunk." The boy on the other side of the phone said it almost annoyed.

"Who is this?" Immediately he replied, "Pedri. Now can you hurry? I'm sending over the address." The notification popped up on my phone, she was at a club downtown.

"I can't." Pedri didn't speak. I knew him from our minimal media interactions, but other than that, he had a reputation as a dickhead fuck boy. "What do you mean you can't?" Because I was so preoccupied with school and work, I never had the time to get my license.

"I can't drive, I don't have a license." I could almost hear him roll his eyes.

"Are you serious? How do you expect her to get home?" He was clearly pissed off. "Maybe be a gentleman and drive her home?" He groaned, obviously unwilling to do so.

"Don't put her in a cab. Drive her home, here I'm sending you the address." As soon as he received my message through Sal's phone he hung up. What a dickhead.

After about fifteen minutes, I heard loud banging at my door. Rushing over, Salma practically fell in my arms. "Y/N you won't believe the night I had." She needed to sleep, we needed to be at training by 6 tomorrow for fitness testing. I have no idea why she'd pick tonight as the time to get wasted.

"Thank you Pedri, I'll see you tomorrow." As I went to shut the door, he stuck his foot in, pushing the door wide.

"So I leave a party with beautiful women to drop your lightweight friend off, and you don't even offer me a glass of water?" His tone was condescending, as he followed me through our apartment.

"Yeah well, sorry for ruining your night." As I helped Salma into her bed, he leaned on her doorframe. "You know usually when I take a girl home it doesn't end like this." He smiled, that kind of dickhead-fuckboy smile. I didn't respond, walking under his arm as I made my way to the front door. I opened my wallet and handed him €10. "For the petrol, now please leave." I pushed the money against his chest as he scoffed. "I don't need your money." He looked me up and down. "See you later Y/N."

Salma and I successfully made our way to the Barcelona grounds, a round of water and plenty of bread slowly sobered her up.

"So how was your date with sexy classmate." I smacked her lightly. "Awkward as fuck. You'd think that someone who's seen me naked plenty of times would know how to talk to me, but I guess not." We walked past the front desk. "Morning. And it wasn't a date, just a study session."

Making our way to the changerooms, I made eye contact with a certain somebody. That certain somebody came over to us. "What do you want?" He looked at me puzzled, in a dismissive way. "Oh I'm not here to talk to you." He diverted his gaze to Salma. "You were quite the partier last night." She smiled at him, I have no idea how.

"We gotta go. Bye Pedri." I pulled Salma away from him. "You're literally gay stop making eyes at him." She looked at me as we sped walked through the hallway. "Doesn't mean a girl can't look." I rolled my eyes. I can't take this girl seriously sometimes.

By the time we had made it out to the field, everyone could tell that Sal was hungover. She wasn't hitting anywhere near her top speed and was very slow at our reaction training games.

Jonatan pulled her aside, and soon enough, she was escorted inside by our assistant coach. "Bring it in girls." I stood next to Lucy as Jonatan began a speech.

"It has come to my attention that there was a party last night." The girls began looking around at each other. "And I understand that you are young and want to have fun, but when alcohol or even drugs are involved, it becomes a problem for the club." Lucy looked down at me.

"I need you to all be aware of what you're doing. You are professional footballers, and now is not the time to be partying let alone drinking." The girls started to whisper to each other.

"And I especially need you to look after the kids here. They're young and vulnerable. If you see them in a less than ideal situation, you need to help them out." Jonatan didn't raise his voice, one of the reasons why he has been my favourite coach. "Now get back out there."

Training was tense, and by the time we had arrived inside Salma was lying on one of the physio beds fast asleep. "Sal are you alright?" She groaned, covering her face. "Lucy said she'd drive you home, but I really need to get to class." I gave her a quick hug before I headed for the showers and prepared myself before class.

It's hard being a student-athlete, or an athlete-student depending on how you look at it. As I left the building I saw Gavi standing outside.

"Hey Pablo." He turned around, immediately hugging me. Gavi was my first friend here in Barca when I joined the academy, and although we haven't kept in contact as much, I still consider him one of my best friends.

"Looking good Y/N. You off to school?" I nodded, signalling to my laptop bag clutched in my hand. "You're seriously the hardest worker I know." After a short conversation a car pulled up to the kerb. A short honk alerted us.

"Get in Gavi. Y/N." Hey, at least he didn't dismiss me. "Can Y/N come, we just need to drop her off at the uni. It's down the road." Before I could reject Gavi's idea, Pedri spoke up. "Yeah no. Come Pablo." Gavi didn't get in the car.

"Seriously Pepi, let her come with us. It'll be a short trip." Soon enough, Pedri agreed, unlocking the back door for me.

Pedri didn't speak the entire ride, and even though it was short, I felt completely unwelcomed. By the time we had arrived on campus, Pedri drove right to the communications building. I thanked him, and stepped out of the car.

As I began to walk away from the car a familiar voice called out to me. "Y/N wait up!" Alex ran up to me, and immediately pulled me in for a hug. I could feel Pedri and Gavi's eyes on me, the car hadn't moved.

"Thanks for the help last night." We walked into the building together and found our seats.

After a boring three hour lecture, I quickly made my way down to the exit. "Y/N wait up." I spun around, facing Alex. "Is now an alright time to ask you to lunch?" I could help but blush. Now normally I would've politely declined, but I am so unbelievably hungry, so I agreed.

"As long as you're driving I'm up." He smiled and brought me to his car.

"I told you that class boy was your guy!" Sal yelled at me after being dropped home by Alex. "When you aren't preoccupied by the dick-"

"Yuck don't say that Sal!"

"It's true, see he's a good guy. Hot too."

I pushed a pillow to her face. She was really too much sometimes. We were sat on the couch, relaxing until it was time to sleep. She was telling me about this incredible girl from last night when I heard a knock on the door. I got up and answered it. To my surprise Pedri was standing there.

"Uh, um you left this in my car." He handed me over an unfamiliar plastic bag, but after a quick look inside, I could tell that it was my sports bra and socks from training.

"Oh yeah, um thanks." We stood there awkwardly in the frame of the door until Salma came up. "Left them in his car huh?"

Pedri immediately tried to speak but his mumbles were cut off by Salma. "Leaving your clothes in one guys car and then going out with a different guy the same day is truly boss energy." Pedri looked at me concerned.

"He and Gavi drove me to class ok, so let's get inside. Thank you Pedri, I really appre-" "Come in Pepi! Take a seat." Salma cut me off and ushered him in. Looking down at me, he made his way to my seat on the couch.

"You know what guys, I'm actually gonna head to bed." Salma pouted at me. "Come on, it's only for a few minutes." I shook my head and went into my room, grabbing my clothes so I could take a quick shower.

By the time I finished my shower, I could still hear Pedri and Salma talking. I wrapped a towel around myself and made my way to my room. That was of course, until I bumped into him.

"Maybe look where you're going next time." He said to me, a look of disgust plastered on his face. "Get the fuck out of my house." He laughed.

"Yeah cause this two room apartment is a house. You seriously need to get a life." I pushed past him, opening my door. "Oh and maybe you should try and be welcoming for once. God knows it'll do you a world of good." I slammed the door after hearing his comment. I have no idea why I even gave him the time of day.

He's such a piece of shit. I'm literally a university student who also happens to be a footballer - a women's one at that. I have no choice but to live in a shitty apartment with my teammate. I don't have the type of money he has.

pls let me know if you like this! i'll update as often as possible and pls give me some requests! i'll write about anyone (m+f)!! thank you!

part two!

[chubbytummy]

(first official post!!! pls enjoy and support!!! sorry in advance for any typos! T^T)

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♡✰ 𝕤𝕙𝕒𝕞𝕖𝕝𝕖𝕤𝕤 ✰♡

♡´･ᴗ･`♡ ♡´･ᴗ･`♡ ♡´･ᴗ･`♡

synopsis:

(bts taehyung-seokjin centric)

taehyung has never had the best eating habits, indulging in junk food to his heart's content. what happens when it finally catches up with him, and his roommate/crush happens to notice?

tw: weight gain, mild feederism, eructo, mentions of past abusive relationships, mentions of insecurity, language, slight nsfw (barely)

♡´･ᴗ･`♡ ♡´･ᴗ･`♡ ♡´･ᴗ･`♡

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it was no secret to anyone around him that taehyung, as sweet as he was, gave absolutely no fucks about his eating habits. that was one thing he would tell you straight off the bat, and he was completely shameless about them too. if it was yummy, it was yummy. and if it was yummy, he was going to eat it. life was short, and wasn't the point of life to enjoy yourself and be happy?

that's what taehyung believed, anyway.

taehyung wasn't shy by nature; a social butterfly, if you will. he loved making new friends, chatting, and bringing people out of their shell. he was naturally charismatic and funny, and with the added-luxury of movie star looks, a deep and sultry voice, and a great physique, he always had a group of buddies around him. that's just how he was. he loved making people smile and laugh, enjoying the warmth and love that radiated off of those close to him. so, as it seemed, taehyung's life was a blissful stream of joy. he didn't have a care in the world, especially about his food.

that was until he graduated highschool and went off to college. you see, taehyung was quite athletic in highschool. participating in track and field and being in dance with his best friend, jimin, gave him plenty of, if not excessive exercise to burn off all those calories he consumed throughout the day. perhaps he was able to get away with his atrocious eating habits back then. however, there was a teeny problem. now, taehyung wasn't pursuing athletics or dance in college-- he was majoring in fine arts. that meant he wasn't getting the amount of exercise his body was used to. turns out, he didn't have as fast of a metabolism like he'd falsely believed, he just did a lot of cardio. so, factoring together the absence of any exercise (minus walks to classes and to the fridge), no changes in his diet, and the constant late-night junk food binges, things quickly started to add up.

literally.

it started with his cheeks. taehyung had been thin, bordering underweight, most of his life, so of course the little bit of newfound plumpness to his face would be noticable. yet, despite his soulmate's comments over 2 am facetimes saying "jesus, taetae, you look so young! drop the skin care routine, bestie," taehyung didn't see the changes. his cheeks poofed out and softened like freshly baked bread, and they always seemed to be puffy, like he'd just woken up. well, he had been taking a lot of naps lately, maybe that's why? he didn't really care, anyways.

the next noticable change was his hips, thighs, and ass. not only was taehyung blessed with a face sculpted by the gods, he also had a body to die for. if there's any higher power, they CLEARLY pick favourites. with a slim, trim waist and a naturally curvy figure, the weight gain only accentuated his hourglass shape. his hips widened generously, thighs thickened like heavy cream, and ass plumped out lusciously, filling up any seat he sat on to the brim and earning him more whistles and lustful stares then he was already receiving. yet, despite the constant catcalling from other students on campus, and the snugness of his pants, taehyung remained oblivious to his altered form.

the final shift in taehyung's appearance settled itself softly on his midsection. although he'd never had chiseled, drool-worthy abs like his new friend jungkook, who practically lived at the campus fitness center, his stomach had always been completely flat. now, it had softened entirely; he had a bit of a tummy. it wasn't very noticeable, at first, due to his knack for wearing baggy clothes, but it began to show over time. it was chubby and pudgy, and spilled over the waistband of his pants when he sat down. his belly was fluffy like the stuffing of a teddy bear, the surface doughy, as if you could sink your hand into it and leave behind a handprint. it was even more noticeable after he'd eaten. taehyung always bloated terribly. whether he'd had a bellyache, gas, or had just eaten something rather filling, his tummy always swelled up and pushed over his pantline and into his shirt. as well, love handles began to form, curling around his middle and warmly hugging his sides.

he was by no means overweight, but he wasn't exactly skinny anymore. he was softer, warmer around the edges. it suited him.

strangely enough, taehyung hadn't really noticed. besides a passing comment from a loved one, or a short-lived "hmm, that's new," in front of the bathroom mirror before dashing off to an already-late-to lecture, taehyung was pretty ignorant.

but how long can you ignore such a growing issue?

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leaning back and gazing up at the tile ceiling, taehyung sighed. he was currently in his friend jungkook's tiny dorm, sitting on his bed and waiting for his roommate, hoseok, to return with pizza. he really hoped he'd hurry up already. his belly was growling like it was angry with him. it was getting kinda scary.

"i really don't know, jungkook-ah, he's just... ugh." he mopplingly prompted his chubby cheeks in his hands and huffed.

"what do you mean you don't know, hyung?" jungkook asked crossing his beefy arms and shooting his friend a skeptical look. "you're like... the hottest and most outgoing guy i know. how haven't you scored a date with him yet?"

the "him" in question was taehyung's new roommate, seokjin. well, he wasn't exactly new. he'd been his roommate for over 5 months now, since his last roommate dropped out. yet, honestly, taehyung didn't think he'd ever get used to seeing that worldwide-handsome face in the same vicinity as him everyday. that would always be a shocker, no matter how many times they saw one another.

having a crush was new for taehyung. to put it bluntly, he knew he was good-looking. he definitely wasn't conceited or snobbish about his natural attractiveness, he honestly didn't care about looks. however, he was used to having a secret admirer or two, and unfortunately had to let many people down with his unrequited feelings. he never had any romantic attraction for anyone, even if he knew he was bisexual. in fact, romance really didn't play a role in his life. taehyung liked to paint, watch cartoons, eat snacks and play videogames. he chose friends and food over chasing after boys and girls. he hadn't even watched porn before, that's how uninterested in sex and relationships he was. call him immature or weird, but romance just didn't do much for him. it seemed boring. why would people waste there time on a silly boyfriend or girlfriend when they could be having fun? it just didn't make sense to him.

that was until he met his roommate. now, that was all he could think about. well, besides school and food, that is.

"that's rich coming from you, mr. i have muscles and a six-pack and tattoos and a fucking eyebrow piercing but i'm still too shy to even talk to jisoo." taehyung shot back with a smirk.

at that, jungkook flushed completely. it was true, despite being a 5 course meal plus desert, jungkook was the shyest person taehyung had ever met. he didn't have many friends besides taehyung, his roommate, hoseok, and hoseok's boyfriend. and the latter was just a friend of circumstances. the younger man also couldn't even look a girl in the eyes without blushing profusely and damn near pissing himself from nervousness. jungkook had a slight lisp and an occasional stutter as well, but taehyung found it quite endearing and sweet.

"t-that's not the point, hyung, and you know it!" jungkook replied hastily, still blushing. "why don't you just tell him how you feel? you've been pining after this dude for months!"

taehyung sighed heavily, the sigh morphing into a deep groan.

"because i literally don't know how! jin-hyung isn't going to take my confession seriously if i just say it! he's already rejected half the campus! he needs a gesture! some bold statement," taehyung explained in an exasperated manner, not caring if he was kinda rambling. "he deserves more than some half-hearted bullshit. i have to find a way to catch his attention, something to show him i'm different than the others. that i'm not just another idiot underclassmen trying to win him over! i just don't know what-!"

taehyung took a deep breath, ending his rant. he was beginning to feel upset, having a tendency to work himself up easily. he took a moment to collect himself, or at least try, and looked at the younger expectantly.

"don't look at me like that, hyung." he said after a moment, watching warily as taehyung took deep breaths, trying to calm himself down. "you know what you gotta do, so do it." he shrugged, still observing his friend. "leth' talk about something else, okay?" jungkook suggested, not wanting his hyung to get anymore upset.

before taehyung could protest, there was a knock at the door.

"that must be hobi-hyung." jungkook spoke, getting up to let his dormmate in. taehyung stayed seated.

as the elder entered the room, the heavenly aroma of pizza followed, wafting around the dorm and into taehyung's nose. his mouth watered. pizza was the perfect comfort food. it always made him feel sated and happy. he could never get tired of it.

"hey tae-ah, i didn't know you would be here!" hoseok beamed, as he brought the pizza boxes over and placed them on the table. "how are you?"

"stressed and hungry."

hobi laughed loudly, his sunshine-like smile lighting up the room. taehyung always liked him. he was sweet, funny, and very handsome. he had a slim build, was a hip-hop dancer, and taehyung had seen his abs before. he'd be jealous if he cared about looks.

"aren't we all?" he joked, before he turned around and looked back at the still open door. "aish, yoongi-hyung, get your ass in here already!"

a low, "i'm coming, fuck off," emitted from beyond the threshold, before hoseok's boyfriend entered the room with a goofy grin and cases of beer and soda in his arms.

looking up at him, taehyung was taken aback.

the last time he'd seen yoongi, at least long enough to get a decent look at him, he'd been skinny. not just skinny, but nearly malnourished looking. his face had been gaunt and he was tiny in comparison to a healthy body. a good wind could have knocked him over. that was months ago. the yoongi he saw now looked quite different. he was filled out, his cheeks plumped and colored as apposed to pale and lifeless like before. his midsection as well, was that a belly? small, yes, but it was there. he looked so much... different. he wondered why.

taehyung had heard about relationship weight many times, and had seen it first-hand as well. when someone gets into a safe and loving relationship, they naturally gain weight. hoseok had opened up to jungkook and taehyung a few times, admitting that yoongi had been in an abusive relationship in the past. however, he was in a healthy one with hoseok now. honestly, it warmed taehyung's heart to see the once frail and sad-looking boy happy and healthy-looking.

it made him wonder if he would ever find a relationship like that. would he put on weight as well? probably not. his metabolism was way too fast, anyways.

"i brought some beer, jungkook don't drink it all this time." yoongi grunted, setting the packs by the desk and plopping down next to his boyfriend on his bed. "oh, taehyung's here. good thing we bought too much pizza."

the others chuckled. taehyung cocked a brow and frowned slightly. what was that supposed to mean?

"i'm starving." jungkook stated to no one in particular, grabbing himself a slice of pizza and a can of beer. taehyung wouldn't be having any alcohol, though, because it always made his cholinergic urticaria act up, and he wasn't in the mood for an itchy rash. besides, he liked soda much more.

"i thought you were on a diet, kookie-ah!" hoseok fake scolded. jungkook scoffed playfully.

"it's called bulking, hyung." he joked. everyone knew he rarely let himself eat like this. he was extremely disciplined. taehyung might've been jealous. "and what about you? thought you were on a diet!"

"i am." the elder replied. "this is all i'm eating. i've still got that dance competition next week- yah! yoongi, don't get sauce on my sheets, you pig!"

he swatted weakly at the mint-haired boy, who nudged him in return and rolled his eyes. it made taehyung smile.

"you can have some too, taehyung-ah." hoseok spoke after a bit. it was then taehyung realized he hadn't gotten any yet. "i know how much you like pizza."

once again, another comment.

"i mean, i don't like it that much." he mumbled, grabbing a slice and and taking a bite. he knew he was bluffing. pizza was the best.

jungkook snorted.

"bullshit tae, you almost always eat an entire pizza whenever we hang out!"

it was true. on an empty stomach, he could scarf down a whole pizza. more if he was especially hungry.

he decided not to reply, finishing his first slide and heading for a second. sinking his teeth into the slice, he all but moaned. it was supreme pizza, his favorite.

"honestly, i have no idea where he puts it all." the redhead commented, finishing up his slice. that was all he'd probably eat, seeing as he's on a diet and all.

"i-i do!" jungkook teased, stuttering slightly from the excitement. "he puth' it all right here."

suddenly, taehyung felt a finger poke his belly. he froze. he looked down to see jungkook's tattooed pointer finger sunk into his plush middle.

"wow, taehyung-hyung." the younger softly exclaimed. "i didn't know your tummy was this squishy."

taehyung felt himself blushing. not out of embarrassment, but something else. jungkook was still touching his belly.

"no way, let me feel!" hoseok reached over, but all too late. taehyung swatted them away and curled into himself, arms wrapped firmly around his middle.

"don't! i'm ticklish!" he lied. yes, he was ticklish, but that's not why he didn't want them to feel his stomach.

it was a strange sensation, really...

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a pizza and a 2L of soda later, taehyung felt warm and fuzzy and full.

hoseok and yoongi had left for yoongi's dorm. taehyung was assuming they wanted some alone time, and he knew yoongi had his own private dorm. he didn't want to think about what they'd do, though. ew, just... ew.

taehyung leaned back and closed his eyes, feeling sated. he gently patted his taut tummy and let out a deep burp, sighing afterwards. that was another thing he was shameless about. if he had to burp, he always just let it out. leaving the trapped gas in his belly only made it hurt, so he didn't hold back. besides, it felt good and it was only natural. he usually didn't even say "excuse me." he didn't understand why he had to. everyone burped; why excuse yourself for something completely normal? unlike jungkook, who'd probably die from humiliation, taehyung wasn't shy about it. the only person he'd be even remotely embarrassed in front of was seokjin, but that's a different story.

"mmm, that was yummy, kookie. i'm stuffed."

jungkook was drinking another beer, beyond drunk by now. he mumbled something incoherent, followed by a hiccup and a groan.

"aw kookie, are you drunk?" taehyung teased, ruffling the maknae's soft, black hair. the younger grumbled again. "tired, little guy? let's get you to sleep, bun."

gently, taehyung guided the nearly-passed-out jungkook's head to the pillow of his bed.

"sleep well, bun." he whispered sweetly, leaving a feather-light kiss on the younger's forehead. he'd probably have to stop by tomorrow morning to take care of him when he woke up with a hangover. he was bound to have a killer one with all the beer he guzzled down, and taehyung knew hoseok didn't do well with vomit. he didn't mind, however. taehyung loved to take care of his friends, anyways.

before he left, taehyung cleaned up, ate the last couple pieces the boys left, and did some of the dishes for them. he also really needed to pee, so he made a quick trip to the bathroom.

once he'd gone and washed his hands, he took a moment to observe himself in the mirror.

i looked really good today, taehyung thought, peering into the mirror and adjusting his gold-framed glasses. despite being quite handsome, he still felt insecure sometimes, especially as of lately. with some of the comments his friends had been making, he wasn't sure what to think. it was almost as if there was some kind of big joke, and he was the only one who wasn't in on it. he really didn't know.

before taehyung could turn away and exit the small bathroom, his eyes caught something in the corner, by the shower.

a scale.

he had forgotten that jungkook did weight training. it was probably his to keep track of that. or maybe it was hoseok's, since he was on a diet and all. it didn't matter. it shouldn't matter.

however, for some reason, he wanted to try it. knowing your weight couldn't hurt, right? it's just a number, anyways. besides, he was curious.

taehyung pulled the digital scale out and stepped on it, waiting patiently for the box to calculate his weight. it couldn't be too much. he was thin, after all.

looking down, his eyes widened.

78.1kg.

he blinked.

huh. so that's how much he weighed.

the last time taehyung had been properly weighed was his physical exam before freshman year. that was nearly a year ago. he was so thin, weighing in at 60.3 kg. since then, he'd gained roughly 17.8 kg.

wait a minute, that couldn't be right, could it? but he had a fast metabolism! not to mention, he's fairly active. well... sometimes. but he does do a lot of walking! something had to be wrong.

taehyung stepped off the scale, allowing it to level back to a clear screen. he then stepped back on.

78.1kg.

this didn't seem possible. maybe it's because of his clothes. maybe he needed to strip down to his underwear like when he had a checkup at the doctor's. quickly, taehyung peeled off his corduroy pants and baggy sweater, leaving him in his undies and tata-themed socks.

what? they were cute!

standing back on the digital scale, taehyung peered down at the number expectantly.

it was the same, the clothes only weighing a little.

maybe it was all the food he just ate, or maybe he had to use the toilet? but that doesn't explain all those kilos...

he placed himself back on the ground, dumbfounded. how did he manage to put on that much? that was like the freshman 15 (lbs) tripled!

taehyung sighed lowly, before turning to face the mirror.

in just his undies, and for the first time since freshman year, taehyung noticed his body.

his thighs were thick, clinging together like chunky glue. gentle stretch marks adorned the insides, which weren't new, seeing as he's always been a bit thicker than his peers growing up. however, they were more prominent. spinning around, he viewed his ass, which giggled almost lewdly with the slight movement. the plump, golden globes looked even plumper than they had. he had always had an ass, but now? he could probably play a pixar mom in a live-action film.

last, but certainly not least, his eyes settled on the most obvious change: his stomach. his tummy hung over the waistband of his underwear, extremely bloated and round from his big dinner and all the soda he drank. yet, despite being stuffed with pizza, it had softness to it. taehyung ran his hands over his belly, pinching the excess pudge. it wasn't too big, but it was noticable. more than noticable.

taehyung wasn't skinny anymore. he had gotten a bit chubby.

and, strangely enough, he didn't care. infact, he liked it.

taehyung knew he ate a lot of unhealthy foods, that was just who he was. why would he deny himself all the yummy things he liked to eat, just to maintain an "attractive" body? so what he wasn't slim like hoseok or muscular and shredded like jungkook? his body was perfectly fine. it did it's job, and that was the important thing.

above all things, taehyung was shameless. having gained weight didn't mean a thing to him. he was an artist, after all, not a model. his figure really didn't matter in the long run. he was still the same handsome guy, just with a little extra chub. and, honestly, he wondered what he'd look like with just a little bit more. just another layer of cream on his body. he's sure he'd like it, especially with how he reacted to having his tummy poked earlier by jungkook.

so, with the new information tucked in the back of his mind, taehyung dressed and left the small bathroom, making his way out of his sleeping friend's dorm. after double checking on jungkook and leaving the wastebasket beside his bed, just in case he woke up sick, the fluffy-haired boy exited the dorm and began his walk down the hallway, back to his own dorm.

after eating, taehyung usually felt sleepy, so it was no surprise to him that he found himself growing sluggish and drowsy as he strode back to his room. it was a pleasant feeling, really. he'd probably take a nice nap when he got back. maybe make some hot chocolate and catch up on some dramas. yeah, that sounded nice.

as he opened the door to his dorm, he was met with a flush of warmth and soft light. faint music played in the background, and a scent immediately met his nose as he stepped in. it smelled delightful. that could only mean one thing.

taehyung hadn't expected seokjin to be home so early. he wished he'd known; he'd like to have put more time into his appearance. welp, baggy sweater and messy-haired taehyung would have to do.

"ah, tae! you're home!" he heard seokjin call from the stove as he shucked off his loafers. he suddenly felt uncharacteristically shy, shifting his weight from his left foot to his right as seokjin walked up to him, all broad-shouldered and stupidly handsome. "how was your day?"

taehyung smiled as seokjin went in for a gentle hug, sinking into his warm embrace and inhaling his calming scent. seokjin was a real hugger, which taehyung appreciated because he, himself, was an absolute cuddle monster and jumped for any physical affection. it didn't help the butterflies in his stomach, however. he'd hope to just digest them already and move on from this silly crush.

"my day was a happy one, thank you," taehyung replied, nearly pouting as seokjin pulled away from the embrace. "how was your's, hyung?"

"better now that you're here." the elder smiled warmly, and taehyung felt his face heat up. seokjin always knew the right things to say to get his heart racing like mad. "come sit in the kitchen and keep me company while i cook?"

the younger nodded timidly, feeling pleasantly small next to his hyung. he followed him like a puppy to the dorm kitchenette, taking a seat at the small bar table.

"so," seokjin began, as he stirred a pot of glass noodles, keeping an eye on the vegetables and pork strips in the frying pan. he was making japchae, one of taehyung's favorite dishes. "have you eaten dinner yet?"

"oh, i ate pizza at jungkook and hoseok-hyung's place," he answered, hand going instinctively to his still-bloated tum, giving it a fond pat. "truth be told, i probably overate." he let out an uneasy chuckle in an attempt to distract himself from the warmth growing in his lower belly. what was happening to him?

seokjin waved him off.

"there's no such thing as overeating if it tastes good," he countered, and before taehyung could understand what was going on, a steaming plate of japchae was placed in front of him. it was a heaping serving, the small plate only making it look bigger. "here, have some of this."

taehyung flushed, gingerly sliding the plate away.

"um, i-i shouldn't, hyung," he stammered, hand still on his middle, almost defensively, as if he were guarding it. "thank you, but i'm still pretty stuffed."

seokjin chuckled deeply, full lips curled into a smirk. he pushed the dish back in front of him. taehyung gulped.

"taehyung-ah, i've seen you demolish three times this and more in one sitting. i'm not exactly convinced that 'stuffed' is in your vocabulary."

there it was. another comment about his eating habits. however, this time, instead of irritation, he felt something... else.

"jin-hyung, i-"

"you wouldn't let all my hard work go to waste, would you?" seokjin questioned, pouting. taehyung felt his heart jump. "i made this all just for you."

"well... alright. i'll have a bite or... two." taehyung finally spoke, unable to look his hyung in the eye. picking up the pair of chopsticks, he hesitantly began to eat.

it was delicious. of course it would be.

in all his time, taehyung had never met as good a cook as seokjin. not even his own mother --who could whip up a mean bibimbap like nobody's business-- could compare to his skills. the younger male couldn't even count on two hands how many times he's had his belly nearly bursting out of his pants from seokjin's cooking. whatever it was he was making, taehyung was sure to gorge himself to new heights every time; now was only proof of that. seokjin didn't seem to mind. infact, he encouraged it.

"taste good?" the elder quizzed, taking a seat in front of the eating boy and gazing at him fondly, if not a bit intently.

taehyung took a moment to finish chewing his mouthful and swallow. he grinned.

"amazing," he answered, licking his lips. "your cooking always is the best, hyung. it's, like, ethereal."

seokjin let out his iconic windshield wiper laugh, which only made his dongsaeng giggle.

"well, if it's good enough to pull out the 50 cent words for," be mused, leaning a tad closer. "then it's good enough to finish, yeah?"

taehyung's smile faded, as he peered up at the taller man wordlessly.

"you know i don't like leftovers, taehyung-ah. scrape your plate. clean."

he didn't have to tell taehyung twice. something about the subtle command in his tone --the sprinkle of dominance within the seemingly innocent words-- sparked a flame that licked into taehyung's belly.

he continued to eat, and before he could really process anything, his chopsticks clinked against an empty plate. instantly, a crimson heat spread over his face. it was as if he were a different person for a moment.

"all done?" seokjin questioned, taking the plate from the boy as he nodded sheepishly. "good job, tae-ah! you did so well!"

taehyung felt his pants become tighter at his elder's words of encouragement.

"feeling full?"

taehyung's adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed the lump in his throat.

"i-" a burp interrupted him. he stayed quiet for a moment, hand covering his mouth, before he spoke up again. "excuse me, sorry."

he was blushing like mad. shameless taehyung who?

seokjin snorted. "guess that answers my question."

the slight teasing only increased the tightness of his pants, though he remained oblivious.

to say taehyung was full was a gross understatement. he'd passed the limitations for being full. he felt like if he moved even an inch he'd explode, literally. he looked 7 months pregnant.

"jin-hyung," he began with a taut hiccup, a slight whine to his voice. "i think... i think i ate too much."

and there it was, the rarer side of shameless taehyung. the one who needed affection after overdoing it, and wasn't afraid to beg for it.

"aw, you poor thing," his hyung cooed, helping the younger stand. his belly felt heavy and stuffed to the brim. "let's get you to the couch yeah? how's some hot chocolate sound? sound nice?"

taehyung nodded and hummed, blissed out from the tight fullness. he'd never felt this way from just eating before.

he took a seat on the couch as seokjin scurried off to make hot chocolate, and he used the opportunity to unbutton his pants. although he wasn't exactly too keen on being so unkempt in front of his love interest, his pants were digging into his bloated stomach something fierce. slowly, he undid the buttons and pulled down the zipper, freeing and allowing his tummy to rest atop. he sighed in relief, though it was short-lived when he noticed the slight bulge in his pants. well, that's new?

wait a minute--

oh fuck.

he frantically attempted to pull his sweater down to cover his lower region, but it was too snug around his plush middle to budge much. thankfully, it wasn't entirely noticable.

"here you go, taebear," seokjin said as he walked back into the small living room, two mugs of hot chocolate in his hand. one of them had tata all over it: you can guess whose it is. "careful, it's hot. let it cool before you drink it."

taehyung nodded bashfully in reply as the older of the two turned the tv on, switching the channel to some random drama taehyung had seen bits of but couldn't remember the name of. when jin sat down next to him, he immediately snuggled up to his side, head on his broad shoulder.

this. this was heaven right here.

seokjin smiled sweetly, arm wrapping around the younger. his fingers carded through taehyung's fluffy brown hair, earning a quiet sigh and pleased noises from the latter. taehyung's eyes fluttered shut as his scalp was scratched lightly.

soon enough, after finishing his hot chocolate, he felt himself grow drowsy. his belly felt warm and heavy, rising with every deep breath he took.

just as he had nearly dosed off, he felt something warm slip under his sweater and dance against his stomach. it felt like a hand.

he sighed. he must have been dreaming.

slowly, the palm of the hand traced over his swollen tummy, fingers ghosting over his navel. he all but purred at the feeling.

it began to rub circular motions onto the bloated skin with a gentle pressure, releasing a few soft burps from taehyung, who mewled at the lovely sensation. he began to fall deeper into slumber, the warm feeling being the last thing he could remember before he completely fell sound asleep.

when taehyung awoke, he was in his own room, in his own bed. he was under the blankets, glasses neatly placed on the bedside table. yawning, he looked around, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

had he been dreaming this whole time?

placing a hand on his middle, he was shocked to feel how bloated and round it was.

nope. it was all real.

and it felt completely, utterly, shamelessly good.

♡

☆

♡

"hey hobi-hyung, what's up?" taehyung spoke into the receiver of his phone after answering hoseok's call. he was currently working on an oil painting while munching on the oreos he'd bought at the campus snack venue on his way home.

"hey tae," he heard a strained voice answer. someone was in the background coughing. "could-" hoseok was cut off by what sounded like a particularly loud heave "ugh. could you do me a solid, tae. i'll pay you back, i promise."

and just like that, taehyung was on his way over to jungkook and hoseok's dorm. he'd debated bringing his painting with him, but eventually decided against the idea. he didn't want to make sick jungkook even sicker, nor did he want hoseok to complain about him stinking up the dorm with his paint.

the second he opened the door, hoseok rushed out.

"thanks a million, taehyung," he spoke frantically, clearly frazzled but trying to stay calm, though it was evident he was hanging on by a thread. "i hate to do this to you but you know how i am."

taehyung gave him a reassuring smile.

"hobi-hyung don't worry, it's alright! i don't mind!" he explained, placing a hand on his hyung's shoulder. "how's he doing?"

hoseok closed his eyes.

"ugh, he's just... ugh."

taehyung laughed and shook his head.

"aish, i told that dummy not to drink so much," he playfully face-palmed, giggling. "alright hyungie, head over to yoongi-hyung's. i'll take it from here."

hoseok sighed a breath of relief.

"you're a little saint, you know that, taetae?"

he pinched taehyung's full cheeks, kissing his forehead before rushing off. taehyung blushed and giggled to himself softly.

hoseok was really something else.

upon entering his friend's shared dorm and turning on the light, his eyes instantly landed on jungkook, who looked like he'd seen better days.

"taehyung?" he heard the younger croak from his bed, eyes squinted nearly shut. "shit, kill the lights will you, please?"

taehyung quickly flicked the switch off.

"oh, sorry kookie-ah," taehyung apologized, making his way in the dim room to the bed, where he sat.

"it's alright hyung, my head is just absolutely murdering me right now."

"feeling pretty bad, aren't we, bun?" taehyung murmured softly, rubbing the younger's back tenderly.

"god, 'm never fucking drinking again."

taehyung chuckled, shaking his head. he knew that was a lie; he'd probably be in the same position next weekend taking care of the hungover boy.

"okay, bun," he replied, fondly. "can i get you anything? painkillers, perhaps?"

jungkook shook his head, instantly wincing at the movement.

"no i already took some before you came." he answered. "could you just hold me for a bit, please?" his doe eyes found taehyung's gaze in the dark.

the elder boy swallowed back an 'awwww' as he laid down on the bed, taking the sick boy into his arms. he ran his fingers through the younger's silky, black hair. jungkook sighed.

"thanks, hyungie." jungkook mumbled into taehyung's warm chest. "you're the best."

a soft smile melted onto taehyung's lips. the two boys sat in a quiet trance for a while, the only sound being breathing and the hum of the ac. after some time had passed, jungkook broke the silence.

"um, hyungie?"

"what is it, bun?" taehyung replied, looking down at the boy.

"i-i um..." he began, stuttering from what taehyung assumed was nervousness. his stutter always worsened when he was nervous, the elder noticed. "i'm s-s-sorry about what i said yesterday."

taehyung haulted his movements, cocking a brow in confusion.

"what are you talking about, jungkook?"

"yes'therday," he paused to grimace at his lisp, before going on, "with hobi-hyung and yoongi-hyung." jungkook responded anxiously. "i-i shouldn't have c-commented on your body or how much you eat like that. if someone had made a comment about m-m-my stutter or lisp, i'd have been sad. it wasn't cool of me to point out an insecurity like that. i'm- i'm sorry." his voice broke a tad at the last part, though taehyung nearly didn't catch it.

taehyung blinked, taking a moment to process his dongsaeng's confession.

"okay, kookie, three things," taehyung replied after some thought, returning to stroking the boy's hair. "one: it's alright, don't worry about it. i'm definitely not upset with you, honey. two: your stutter and lisp are perfectly fine. they make you unique, make you you, so don't be embarrassed about how you talk, and don't take shit from absolutely anyone about it. got it?"

jungkook nodded, eyes still glassy.

taehyung smiled and continued.

"and three: what makes you think i'm insecure about my body?"

jungkook froze for a moment, clearly trying to conjure up an answer that wouldn't hurt his hyung's feelings.

"um..."

"is it because i'm chubby?"

jungkook didn't say anything, causing taehyung to sigh audibly.

"i have no reason to be insecure about my body, you know, jungkook?" taehyung calmly retorted, not in a mean or scolding manner, but in a blunt one. "i love my body. my tummy's job is to digest the food i eat and convert it to energy. that's it, and he's doing a pretty good job at it. so, therefore, i have no real reason to be insecure, and i'm not. a little tummy fat never hurt anyone."

jungkook looked up to gaze at his hyung.

"so, it didn't hurt your feelings when i t-touched your belly, then?" he asked, voice still slightly broken. taehyung wiped the stray tears from his dongsaeng's cheeks.

"of course not, kookie-ah," the older boy reassured, lips spreading into a grin. "in fact... i liked it."

jungkook went stiff.

"u-um... i-i'm flattered, hyung, i really am... b-but i like girls..."

taehyung let out a deep, rumbly laugh.

"don't be silly, bun!" he teased, still chuckling. "i wasn't talking about you! i wouldn't date your lame ass anyways, even if you did like guys!"

this earned him a playful slap.

"but you did... like it?" jungkook questioned after a comfortable silence.

taehyung nodded a bit stiffly.

"yeah, i... i guess i did." he admitted. "to be honest... i wouldn't mind if seokjin touched m- woah! sorry about the tmi! literally forget i said that, please. like, erase it from your memory."

taehyung flushed in embarrassment as jungkook burst out laughing.

"yah, don't make fun of me! i'll kick your ass you little shit!"

despite the teasing, taehyung definitely wouldn't mind if seokjin touched his belly. infact, he'd fucking love it.

and, well... this all was... new. he'd like to explore this more in the future.

however, little did taehyung know, he wasn't the only one with a bit of experimentation in mind.

♡

☆

♡

♡´･ᴗ･`♡ ♡´･ᴗ･`♡ ♡´･ᴗ･`♡

hi!! hope you enjoyed this!! maybe a part 2?? please let me know what you think!! love you!!

~ jelly ૮ᴖﻌᴖა

♡´･ᴗ･`♡ ♡´･ᴗ･`♡ ♡´･ᴗ･`♡

[collecting-stories]

Bahama Mama - ep. 05 - Rafe Cameron

Summary: You make a scene. 

A/N: Honestly kept this mostly the same.

Holiday in the Sun Masterlist | Outer Banks Masterlist

✰ ✰ ✰ ✰

You felt like you were on zombie mode, the police officer leading you out to the lobby where your parents were waiting with the Camerons doing more of the work than you were to walk. Sarah and Topper had been signed out before you and were already with everyone else in the lobby.  

The jailhouse was certainly worse for the wear but it had felt intimidating enough last night when you sat in booking as the coast guard told you that you and your friends would be spending the night in jail for taking a stolen yacht on a joyride. At the time you’d been too pissed at Rafe for getting you into trouble when he’d promised not to but now you were seriously wishing that you could just rewind to the morning before and being in bed with him.  

“Oh sweetheart,” your mom wrapped her arms around you, kissing your cheek, “are you okay? What were you doing on that boat?”

“We thought it was your boat.” You explained, looking over to Ward. It had felt like the exact same boat from before. There were memories you just didn’t forget.  

“It was.” Ward confirmed as the confusion on your face slowly turned to anger, “and you can imagine the horror when I woke up to an alert that it was gone from the dock.”

“Are you serious?” You snapped, pulling out of your mom’s hold. Lack of sleep and sitting in a cell all night freezing had made you irritable. And Ward had been pissing you off since you got to the island. “We sat in jail for an entire night and it was your boat anyway?”

“And it taught you a valuable lesson,” your step-dad commented, “you can’t just do whatever you want.”

“Are we ready to go?” Rose asked, “I made reservations for brunch, I don’t want to be late.”

“Wait,” you didn’t follow as they seemingly began to make their way to the doors, “where’s Rafe?”

“Rafe could do with some extra time to think over his actions.” Ward replied.  

When your mom grabbed your arm to pull you toward the door you pulled back, refusing to go with her. You yanked your hand away and backed up, glaring at her as you crossed your arms. Rose noticed your sudden protest, Sarah, Topper, and Wheezie turning to look at you too.  

“Don’t make a scene.” Your mom snapped, catching the remaining two’s attention. Your step-dad and Ward turned at the door to see what was going on. Some of the people milling around the station even stopped to watch.

“Let’s go,” your step dad walked back over to you, grabbing your arms and pushing you toward the exit.

“No! Let go of me!” You shouted, a few of the police officers who had been watching quickly returned to shuffling through paperwork, unsure what to do about the tantrum you were throwing. “No! I’m not fucking going out to eat with some fucking psychopath that locks his kid up cause he took his own fucking boat out. We were all there. We all agreed on it. This isn’t Rafe’s fault, he shouldn’t be unfairly punished.” You said, voice raised as you looked at Ward.

Ward came back over, grabbing your face to force you to look at him. Sarah looked genuinely shocked at her father’s behavior, as did your mother, though your step-dad said nothing, “do not tell me how to discipline my kid! I have been more than generous to your family, don’t forget that!” He pushed you away and you stumbled slightly, your step-dad keeping you upright.  

“Ward,” Rose called, “let’s just go to lunch.”

Your step-dad let you go, falling into step beside Ward and you could already hear him apologizing for your behavior. You scoffed, though they were already out the door. Your mom lingered behind but when you turned to her there was no sympathy in her gaze.

“You need to think about how you act. That was uncalled for.” Your mom said, fixing her hair and clothes before heading toward the door as well.

“He just grabbed me! A grown man literally just assaulted me-”

“Oh for god’s sake! Stop being so dramatic all the time!” She hissed, “either go back to the house, or stay here but don’t come to lunch. I don’t need you acting out there too.”

You watched your mom leave before heading outside, feeling suddenly self-conscious as you stood in the lobby of the police station. You had just completely lost it on Rafe’s dad and you hardly knew the whole story to begin with. Maybe you were way too involved, you’d just gone to bat for him like he was your boyfriend and not just some passed fantasy fulfilled.  

It didn’t take long for Wheezie to text you, detailing how Ward had asked for them to keep Rafe locked up an extra night as if this was some kind of Scared Straight reality tv show. You had no problem admitting that Rafe was spoiled, they all were, but calling the cops on your kid while you’re in another place and he didn’t do anything truly bad, just to prove a point, was some messed up shit.  

-

It might not be the most important vigil you’d keep in your entire life but you stayed at the police station all night, unsurprised, when morning came, to find that you were the only one there when Rafe was released.  

The double doors of the station opened and Rafe stepped out, a little worse for wear after two nights in jail. He squinted against the sunlight, smiling when he saw you sitting there on the bench, head down as you texted. You and Wheezie were apparently texting buddies now as she had stayed up the whole night with you, even facetiming at one point.

“You the welcome committee?” Rafe joked, catching your attention as he came up to the bench.

“Rafe!” You practically jumped into his arms, wrapping your arms around him and pressing yourself against him.

“Damn, it was just county lock-up.” He joked, kissing the side of your head and then pulling away. His good mood diminished when he noticed the slight bruising around your jaw from where Ward had grabbed you. “What happened?”  

“What?” You pulled away when he tried to touch you.

“That wasn’t there the last time I saw you. Who did that to you?” He asked.

“I got a little irritated with your dad when he said you were staying an extra day.” You admitted.  

“My dad did that?” Rafe shook his head, “that fucking asshole.”  

“Rafe...hey,” you stopped him when he tried to walk past you, laying your hands on either side of his face to get him to look at you, “I don’t wanna go back there, please?” The last thing that you wanted to do this morning was go back to that house and face them.  

Rafe took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. He really didn’t want to go back there either, mostly because he was pretty sure he would beat the shit out of his dad for putting his hands on you. Even when Rafe had it out with his dad there was still some level of respect, some part of him that desperately wanted his dad’s attention. But seeing you with bruises on your face from defending him just made him want nothing more than to smash his dad’s teeth in.  

“Let’s just get a room at the resort?” You suggested. They had given your bag, phone, wallet, and sweatshirt back yesterday when you were released and you had the allowance card your dad deposited into once a week. Besides, you weren’t really in the mood to continue sleeping on the bench. You had been there waiting to be sure that Rafe was okay but now he was and you wanted to just be as alone with him for a while as you could.  

Rafe’s lower lip jutted out, pouting for a second before he smiled, “you, me, a room to ourselves...what a welcome committee.”

“I thought you’d be down.” You laughed.

Before you could start the walk back to the town center to a car Rafe stopped you, grabbing your arm and pulling you back into a hug. “Thanks for waiting for me.”

“I was pretty much running on delirium and adrenaline...otherwise I would not have camped on a bench for you.” You replied. While deciding to stick it out on that bench hadn’t even been something you thought about for more than a second, you knew it wasn’t just the lack of sleep and fight with his dad that made you do it. There was something else there but you weren’t sure you were ready to think about that.

“What exactly did you say to my dad anyway?”

“I may have called him a pyschopath...” you trailed off, grimacing as you remembered the fight. Definitely not one of your finer moments. “Come on, I was promised you and me in a hotel room for an unlimited amount of time.”

“Alright, alright, don’t rush me.” He joked, “I’m savoring my freedom.  

-

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[gwoongi]

best years

jeon jeongguk / reader genre: best friend au, bff-to-lovers au, fluff, angst, guk is pining rating: general words: 2.6k warnings: its a short little fic, sort of like one chunk of a big chocolate bar and im gonna slowly feed u one chunk at a time until you’re sick and full a/n: a squint into the mind of bff jeongguk who will star in an eventual “idol best friend” series that i routinely dream about but have always felt it disrespectful to write about but at the end of the day everything i write is fiction and jeongguk would probably be less offended by a “canon divergence bff au” than he would reading my drug addicted rockstar au so :-) read it & weep folks

Jeongguk’s always been scared of the rejection he might receive from you. He might be a dream for fans across the world, but there’s a split second where Jeongguk feels like he might not be good enough for you. He’s the world to other people. But you deserve the whole galaxy, and he’s afraid that’s something that he might not ever be, even with the money, and the fame, and the doubts he tries to hide.

Jeongguk was taking a pretty big risk, he knew that. It was risky taking any step out of his house at any moment, even on the days where it was pouring outside; he’d think he was safe until he made it to the end of the road, earphones snug in his ears, and the flash of a camera behind the shrubs in the corner of his eye blinds him back to his front door in a twisted shame. 

Granted, he’d expected it to be worse as he booked a plane ticket and made a rather hasty, in-the-moment journey to the airport and on a plane with no layover. Usually when Jeongguk takes a journey overseas, there’s at least one or two fans hiding in the corner of the suites waiting for him, or someone on the plane who’d recognise his face. For this, he’d suck it up and take a photo. It was better to have good PR, and be a little bit pissed off that he’d been discovered, than to have bad PR and to be known as the member of BTS who didn’t give a damn when the ‘real’ reasons for travel were taken away.

But Jeongguk thought the risk was worth it this time. The plane touched down in Manchester, and from there, it was an hour long train journey to a station he didn’t know anything about to meet a friend of yours he’d only seen in Instagram pictures. You were at University now, a face he saw on a screen rather than a face he quite literally woke up next to months before. It had been four months since Jeongguk had seen his true best friend, and fuck anybody who was going to make him wait a second longer before seeing you again.

You were his greatest risk, but it was worth it. You were worth it.

“Fuck, it’s insane to actually be meeting you right now.” Frank is a good guy, ginger with circle glasses rested on the end of his roundish nose. He led Jeongguk out of the train station, offering to pull his suitcase for him. “I mean, I’m a huge fan.” Followed by a sigh and a quiet, “Who isn’t…?”

Jeongguk smiled at him, squinting in the sun as it hit his eyes in the direction of Frank’s face. “Thanks. I hear a lot about you, too.”

Frank grinned, whipping his head towards Jeongguk. “All sexy and scandalous things, I hope. You know, none of us believed Y/N when she said she knew you. We thought the pictures were Photoshopped, you know how she is.” They both paused by the side of the road going one way only, “Shit, she’s gonna freak out when she sees you.”

That was three minutes ago, but Jeongguk’s still playing that sentence on a loop. He walks alongside Frank down one of the streets, past a redundant furniture store that quirks his brows. A man stands in the doorway, a cigarette out of his mouth and ash dropping to his toes bare in sandals. It smells like doughnuts, and weed, and he smiles brightly. He’s missed the UK, and how unbelievably shockingly awful it is when you’re not looking at picturesque photos of London online.

“I thought you’d know that Y/N’s my best friend,” Jeongguk says thoughtfully. He pauses as Frank does as a car zooms past when they’re about to cross. “I mean, people know. The photos got leaked, all of them.”

“Hey, give me a break,” Frank says dramatically. “I only became a fan three months ago. And yeah, I figured. Finally, I understood why all the white girls studying Korean here wanted photographs with her and to be her best friend…”

Jeongguk frowns. “Is it bad? She doesn’t tell me this stuff on the phone. I mean, they go crazy on Twitter when she posts pictures and we interact, but I didn’t…”

Frank shakes his head and grins at Jeongguk until the words die out. “Nah, don’t panic. It’s not that bad. If anything, she might get a kick out of the fame. Trust, there’s always gonna be the girls who hate her because she’s friends with you and that’s like, what, threatening to their fantasy? But she loves you a lot, and a friendship like yours...it’s kinda like family, you know?”

Jeongguk feels his stomach flip, kind of like butterflies. These butterflies are sour, his heart racing that extra bit quicker. He likes the sound of family. He doesn’t like the way Frank implies it, because if Jeongguk is ever going to consider you as family, it won’t be as his sister. You’ve never been his sister, even when you were part of his family growing up. There were times you came to all of his Korean family events, the times his family called you their own, but you were never his sister. It was different to that, you both knew it but never acknowledged it.

Frank makes small talk until they make it to the student accomodation you currently live at, and because Frank knows basically everybody, a student comes to the gate to let them both in. They’re nice, big and pretty-skinned, wearing an Aston Villa shirt that Jeongguk remembers looks a lot like your Dad’s back in the day. Might be the same, might be a vintage.

He smiles at him, because maybe this guy knows Jeongguk, but the guy just turns back into the common room and doesn’t come out again. Frank doesn’t live here, he lives in a flat of his own around the corner, but Frank might as well be a resident here. He lets himself in towards the lift and shoots a text to one of your flatmates.

“Apparently she’s in the shower,” Frank says casually. He locks his phone, taps his foot as the lift rises, “Let’s hope she doesn’t stride out completely stark naked as you’re in there.”

He almost blushes, “Ha, yeah.” He declines to mention the times you two have showered together, the time you went skinny dipping together when you were fifteen. Those were things that might end up getting misunderstood, and those are his memories he’d like to keep hidden and secret. He says nothing, nothing but a thank you when he enters your flat with Frank and takes a different turn to the left as Frank goes right, towards the kitchen.

Your room is at the very end, your name on the door in stickers from a set you got from the 99p store, and from inside, he hears the music in the bathroom. The door opens silently and closes with the same volume, and Jeongguk manages to wheel his suitcase to the end of the bed and plonks himself down. As expected from pixels on the screen, your room looks better in person- white walls and a bed set that’s white with a peony pattern. Above your desk, Jeongguk recognises all your photos together, new polaroids of you and the friends you’ve made at University who Jeongguk always felt kind of threatened by. He smiles to himself, and rests his neck at a strange angle against the wall your bed is literally attached to. From here, he can see the bathroom door in the mirror on the opposite wall, but he knows you’ll only see his feet when you come out.

Speaking of which; the Fleetwood Mac song ends suddenly and the shower water has stopped running. Jeongguk hears the toilet flush and his heart starts to race. Four months of falling asleep on Facetime and texting when there was no time left in the day, and now, here he is, on your bed, waiting for you to step out and...and, then what?

Maybe you didn’t even want him here. Maybe you were happier now that Jeongguk was in Korea and you were still at home, in a new city with new friends and a new life. Maybe the memory of Jeongguk was burdensome. Worse, maybe he was something you felt you had to remember but didn’t really want to.

Jeongguk’s always been scared of the rejection he might receive from you. He might be a dream for fans across the world, but there’s a split second where Jeongguk feels like he might not be good enough for you. He’s the world to other people. But you deserve the whole galaxy, and he’s afraid that’s something that he might not ever be, even with the money, and the fame, and the doubts he tries to hide.

The bathroom door opens and in two seconds, the light is shut off and he hears you sigh.

“Frank, you gotta stop letting yourself in here without telling me,” your voice says. “Good thing I’m semi-decent. Usually I’m not.”

“No fun,” Jeongguk teases, and silence follows. There’s a pause in the room, and Jeongguk cocks his head with his left cheek on his shoulder, waiting for you to click and appear in front of him. Suddenly, there’s small but quick thuds across the carpet and Jeongguk feels his chest tighten with a nostalgic feeling as you come into view with wide eyes, damp hair and nothing but a bra and those stupid black worn leggings you refuse to throw out.

The grin that reaches Jeongguk’s eyes now aches as he laughs at you, at the way you gape in his presence. It takes a moment, a moment of what feels like could be the rejection that Jeongguk absolutely fears, but then you smile so wide that Jeongguk feels it in his stomach.

“Holy shit!” you exclaim loudly, bringing a hand to your mouth as you hurry towards the bed. It dips beneath your knees and Jeongguk rises up to a sitting position. “What the fuck!”

He laughs out loud, and when you’re next to nothing away, Jeongguk wastes zero time in bringing you into his arms, tightly hugging you.

“Careful, my hair’s all wet,” you squeak.

“Don’t care.”

He really doesn’t. There’s probably going to be a damp spot on his clothes after, but that’s okay. You groan loudly with happiness as you hug him in return as tightly as he is hugging you, your weight on his lap and your arms around his neck. Jeongguk smiles so wide, sighing with content into your neck. Here, he smells the marshmallow wash on your skin, the fragrance of your hair that kind of reminds Jeongguk of cabbage patch babies.

“You smell good,” he mutters. You laugh quietly, squirming when his nose sniffs across your neck like one would kiss. “I don’t.”

“You do, you always smell good,” you reply. One sniff, he laughs, “See!”

“Mmm,” he plays along, “the sweet smell of planes and trains and jetlag.”

That makes you laugh, and at the mention of jetlag, Jeongguk realises he could probably fall asleep like this given the chance. He has missed this, missed you, so fucking much. The emotions are overwhelming. 

Jeongguk kisses behind your earlobe, and just underneath your jaw. That’s new. Jeongguk was a cheek-kiss kind of best friend, but never this. You’re not complaining. Your head drops to one side, almost giving him more access to the space free, and he occupies it. Those fucking butterflies; Jeongguk feels sick with nerves as he kisses you, under your chin and across your neck, on that spot on your collarbone you found out tickled after Seven Minutes in Heaven in Year 8. Maybe your fingernails in his hair are a way of you telling him to stop- it’s something he can think about tonight if he can’t fall asleep, something he doesn’t care to think about when he kisses on your actual jawline, to your cheek and the corner of your mouth, your cupid's bow.

He moves away with a blush that matches your own, but maybe you can’t see his in the colour of your fairy lights. He plays with the confusion as he moves the hair that's across your face around your ears, smiling and raising his eyebrows. Jeongguk convinces the role of casual to perfection and bites back a sour taste when he notices you’re the same. Casual, unmoved, maybe even like it didn’t mean a thing.

“Your hair is so fucking wet,” he sniggers boyishly.

“I told you,” you shrug. You shrink, relaxed, “Fuck, Guk, why are you here? I mean, I’m literally so happy, but...Are you gonna get in trouble for this?”

“I dunno,” he admits. “Maybe, probably. I mean...the guys know I’m here. Hoseok drove me to the airport with Jimin.”

“That’s not what I mean.”

Jeongguk sighs loudly. “Yeah, I know. Frank told me all about the girls.”

“Little fucker. Is he here? I’ll punch him for mentioning it to you. It’s honestly fine. Girls will be girls.”

“You’re my best friend for life, it’s important to me that you’re not uncomfortable by it-”

“I’m not,” you assure him, hands trapped in his hair. “Damn, this got long. Didn’t look long over the phone.”

“Was growing it out,” Jeongguk replies. “Heard you fancied Keanu Reeves, couldn’t handle the competition.”

“Ha!” you retort. “Simp.”

“For you,” frowns Jeongguk dramatically.

Conversation fizzles comfortably, to the point where you both forget that Jeongguk’s underneath you and your legs are wrapped like a koala around his middle. The fact that this is normality for you both is ignored. You’ve done worse things together. Jeongguk even knows that the bra you’re wearing now is one he bought for you. That could be why Jeongguk feels the way that he does, why this confusion wraps around his body and traps him. Jeongguk knows that the butterflies in his stomach don’t just appear because you’re his best friend he hasn’t seen in a while. He knows what they mean when they flutter when your name pops up when you’re calling him, when an interviewer tries to catch him out by bringing you up in another interview that you don’t need to be mentioned in.

Jeongguk knows that coming here was worth the confusion, and the nerves, and the fact that this will be a headline when it gets out. JEON JUNGKOOK GOES TO UK TO VISIT HIS BEST FRIEND...BUT ARE THEY MORE? Or worse, NETIZENS HAVE PROOF THAT BTS JUNGKOOK IS DATING HIS BEST FRIEND Y/N…

He doesn’t want to hurt you. That’s how he feels scared. For you to be scandalised by an article online that caught him out in his feelings, he knew it wasn’t fair. Jeongguk might be too afraid to say he’s in love, and too afraid to find out if you feel it too, but he’d risk those feelings and the headlines if it meant spending one more day with you.

Jeongguk’s got a week and a half with you. Something’s gotta give within this week. He doesn’t want to go back to Korea with more regrets than he came with, and for now, he’ll just have to swallow those butterflies back down when they pour out of his mouth. Right now, he can’t afford to be caught out. It has to be known on his own terms, when the timing is perfect. It has to be perfect, because it’s what you deserve. It has to be perfect, because if it isn’t, then Jeongguk doesn’t think it will be worth it.

Losing you to a headline and a butterfly is out of the question. One tries to escape when you hop off him and shrug on a jumper from out of your wardrobe. If you noticed his unease you didn’t mention it. He wants to cry, wants the confusion to go away for the night so he can enjoy it.

Fuck.

For now, he thinks as he follows you with an arm around your shoulders out of your bedroom and towards the kitchen to meet the others, he’ll just have to fake it til he makes it. Just like always. Put on a face, put on a show, until it all feels worth the spillage. He can’t let the butterflies escape yet.

It has to be perfect, and he’ll have to be patient.

[ceruleanwhore]

MLB rant

     At this point, I am genuinely pissed at Miraculous. Among other things, Thomas has wrecked the quality of the show over shipping bullshit with episodes like weredad and, in the process, fucked everything over so that now, no matter what happens or who ends up with who, it’s going to be shit. In a lot of ways, he’s done to Miraculous what Bryke did to Avatar in the comics- ruined established characters and the overall story by trying and failing to take care of the relationships/shipping. At this point, Marinette’s character is so awful in relation to this that I truly can’t fathom how Adrien and Luka can still tolerate her, never mind actually like her. Where she should have been steadily improving this whole time, she is instead getting much worse. This, of course, is because the show is constructed such that there is only the few main plot aspects everything revolves around (Hawkmoth and the love square) but, even though Astruc is clearly trying to drag the show out, he isn’t adding any other layers to the show to make up for how flat it is, so in the process of keeping those main plot points static, he has ended up fucking over his own show and dragging Marinette’s character down. At the start of the series, Marinette was clumsy and socially awkward but in a somewhat endearing way. Now, a school year or so later, she hasn’t improved at all and, in spite of now being Ladybug which would be the perfect catalyst for her character development, she’s genuinely getting worse to the point where, as we see in Desperada, she now acts like she has brain damage or something. 

 The degradation of Marinette’s character is a direct result of Atruc trying to shut down side ships, including some within the love square, in spite of how completely unnecessary it was. He shouldn’t have been doing stuff like that at all, honestly, but things like that should have only been done if and when he was going into the endgame and setting up to finally put them into canon relationships. There are a few ways he could have done this more successfully:     

1. In season 2, after Ladybug flat out rejects him, have that be enough to initiate the process of Adrien moving on and have him be completely over her by the end of the season but leave him single. Meanwhile, from the beginning of the show, it should be shown how the way Adrien constantly says that Marinette is “just a friend” wears on her over time, plus Luka showing up adds another element that would shake things up and leave her feelings for Adrien unsteady. Eventually, maybe later season 2, Adrien would make another comment like that again and that would be the last straw at which point she’d be done. Shortly after that, she’d get together with Luka.

     2.Kinda like what I just described but after Adrien gets over Ladybug and Marinette gets over him, they could get together as Marichat in some rich dramatic irony. 

     So then there is the matter of character development. I’ve already lamented Marinette, but I’d argue that basically none of the characters have any significant character development. Chloe had the opportunity that got royally fucked over, which was probably also for the sake of maintaining stasis, but other than a couple people here and there, there isn’t much to be found. I think this is because there isn’t actually much content, when it comes to this show. About half of each episode is taken up by the akuma and what’s left tends to be more concerned with cute things like Marinette facetiming Alya about Adrien or bringing some macrons somewhere or whatever and, like I said earlier, there are no subplots that would provide more depth to the show and help promote character growth. I think it would work better if a) there were subplots and b) there wasn’t an akuma every episode, maybe just every couple. It gets really boring and repetitive to have half of every episode be basically the same and take up so much space so that there isn’t room to put in real shit and character growth around it. 

     Regarding Chloe, if they were going to give her a fucking miraculous, they should’ve been planning on using that to kickstart her redemption arc. It makes absolutely no sense to trust her with it and then have her proceed to not change at all. All it does is create a shitty situation where this bitch is now a superhero but she’s still a mega bitch so then when she no longer gets to be a superhero, that adds to her being a miserable bitch. Honestly, it doesn’t even remotely make sense why Marinette gave it to her in the first place and when I look back on it I think it’s literally nothing more than pure pandering in response to what people were posting on Tumblr. It would’ve made a lot more sense for her to have had some level of preliminary character development first before Marinette presented her with the miraculous. Also, maybe it could be after she’d made a bitchy comment about Chloe that then got a response that showed Marinette how she was wrong and made her feel bad and this is her way of making it up to her but, more importantly, showing how she’s getting over her prejudice and now choosing to put faith in Chloe and support the progress she and those around her have witnessed. Then, the miraculous and the responsibilities that go with it (plus Marinette’s inevitable end of episode apology) would catalyze Chloe’s continued growth and development but like the amount of growth she’d have already would be enough for her to act more maturely and keep her identity a secret, which would be A Thingᵗᵐ. 

     However, along that same vein, I think it’s absurdly stupid how they really went with the “everyone gets a miraculous (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ *:･ﾟ ” thing. It makes sense to bring in one more but not this bullshit where everybody gets one but only sometimes. Bring on one more, permanently, maybe even add another later on (MUCH later on) if necessary but don’t just have this bullshit where Marinette just picks the flavor of the day. Also, her now being the guardian is the genuine worst decision, period. If it’s really that important to boot Wu and bring in a new guardian, have it be someone else like Alya, idk or, even better, a new character entirely. Wu said he had to be trained so I’d like to propose to have it so that he’s been training one for a while but we just don’t see them because since their training is incomplete, Wu can’t trust them with Ladybug and Chat Noir’s secret identities yet. But jesus fuck, Marinette should not be that person. She’s already quite Mary Sue already, she really doesn’t need that and the episode where she’s able to weild all the miraculouses to just throw in more shit about how she’s so good and so powerful and all that stuff. 

     So, then, there are inconsistencies in the writing, mainly in regards to their secret identities and shipping. In one of the episodes in season three, Master Wu told them they would have to give up their miraculouses if they ever learned each other’s identities, which is incredibly fucking stupid since he then just hands her all the miraculouses and makes her the new guardian. So she’s just supposed to hold that boundary because he told her to when she’s now the one who’d be enforcing it and taking the miraculouses if that ever came to be? So if (when) they learn their identities, she’s supposed to, as the guardian, take Adrien’s and give up her own miraculous but then keep on being the guardian? I think the line from Master Wu was supposed to add drama and suspence but that only works if you don’t go and negate it three seconds later. The other inconsistency that, to me, was glaringly obvious and just as annoying was when Marinette, Adrien, and Kagami went to Andre’s. Back when this guy was first introduced, the way it all worked was that when someone came up, he’d make them an individualized ice cream cone based on the person they love. In season three, all of a sudden, for no reason whatsoever, the fact that it’s three people coming up to get ice cream changes the entire system to some other bullshit all so we can get some over done, in-your-face adrienette vs adrigami tension in which Marinette is a Good Girlᵗᵐ. 

     Then, lastly, I find it extremely odd how there are practically no background characters and that the few there are tend to be recurring. If there are going to be 77+ episodes of “oh no that dude got akumatized”, it would be prudent to have more throwaway background characters to use for the akumas and then only use the main/recurring ones for that intermittently and only when it adds something to the episode and/or the plot as a whole. The classroom kids shouldn’t be the default, they should be used sparingly and with care. Not to mention how it also would be good to have more background characters just so stuff like scenes where they’re in the hallways in between classes don’t look so awkward because there’s just this one class of kids in this entire school (plus Marco) and literally nobody else. It’s a thing in every film or show that has ever been made but in this one, for no reason, there just are no extras and it feels so awkward at times. 

     The way that every single episode is set up the same and how there is that lack of background characters to akumatize so there ends up being a bunch of reakumatizations, plus the way that nothing much actually happens, in terms of plot progression, after season one all make it so that the show as a whole after the end of season one feels really stagnant. It’s like Astruc is trying to hold out and wait to drop actual resolution to any of the main plot points until later on but he hasn’t sufficiently constructed other layers to the story, like subplots, to have it still be engaging. In my opinion, MLB could’ve actually been completely tied up with the whole Hawkmoth business back in the season one finale, based on the content of the show, because there’s just not that much there. It makes me mad because the show has a great concept and I love the characters, but it’s just been shit and it’s not getting better.

[kunderdogs]

Day6 / Crushin’ On You

Request: ok so like how would day6 act around their crush when they know they can’t confess their feelings? bc you know, they’re always busy andd don’t think they have time for a relationship they can’t help falling in love ughhh please hive me angst/fluff

This was honestly so fun. All of these could be scenarios! I was envisioning them all haha!

Sungjin: honestly, he would learn to live with it not being able to confess. Would it stop him from liking you? Nope. But, being the leader and being so much with promotions, it just wasn’t possible and he knew he would be asking too much of you and it would be selfish of him since he couldn’t be able to give you the time you deserve. He would still be friends with you and would try his damn near hardest to spend time with you any way he could between projects. He would be sweet towards his crush, always texting to ask how you’re doing or what you’re up to. He would do little things as well to hopefully make you catch on to his feelings, but they would be very subtle. He’d be on the fence about confessing when he’s so busy but when everything died down, he’d have no problem letting you know what was up and (hopefully) you’d feel the same.

Jae: the only difference in Jae in this situation would be the other members hinting that Jae would be cranky and mopey around the dorms. You wouldn’t see a difference in his bubbly personality at all. Around his crush, Jae would be extreamley touchy-feelly any chance he gets, getting close to you to show you a funny video or meme, or sitting next to you while y’all were doing literally anything. He’s kind of a brat so because he’s so busy, he would’ve come to the decision to not confess to you just yet. He didn’t want to get into a relationship, but not knowing when he could have a legit first date. The thought of it just left a bad taste in his mouth so he’d hold off on it for a little bit...not as long as the other members, because he’d just get frustrated one day and end up telling you his feelings anyway. Which in turn would just embarrass the poor guy because, “This went way different in my head. Let’s just ignore that so I can confess properly later on.” “Sorry, can’t do that.” “That’s it, I take it back.” Yep, he would only keep it a secret for like a month or two. If you agreed with him that right now was not a good time for a relationship and y’all should wait til he’s less busy, he will most likely be sad af and distance himself from you...

YoungK: the most thoughtful of the subject. He’d have thought about this a million and one times. It would keep him up all night long and, you betcha, he’d probably write a song about it to get out some of his frustration of the matter. He would speak to Sungjin for advice but wouldn’t really use it. YoungK would be the only one dead set on not giving away his secret because, what’s the point? Confessing could only lead to one of two things; you confessing back to him but unable to date or you rejecting him. Both of which were not good enough options to even bring up the subject to you. When he realized he didn’t want to tell you his feelings for you, you would notice his increasing distance. Text would not come as frequent, he wouldn’t facetime you as much and he would usually have a sad smile instead of the bright one you’re used to. It would honestly devastate you to think you’re losing him and in the end you’d probably confide in Sungjin (he’s the best listening imo) who wouldn’t tell you shit but would tell you to talk to Brian. That wouldn’t go well, he’d get frustrated/angry (at the situation) and then you’d have a falling out. It would take a lot for him to confess...only by seeing you with another guy would he finally give in and tell you (of course this would be when he isn’t promoting and isn’t busy 24/7) but this would probably lead to another argument lmao

Wonpil: immediately stops all contact with you. Ok maybe not immediately, but your long conversations suddenly become two word answers, then after a day, one word. It becomes very obvious to you that Wonpil didn’t want to be your friend anymore but you can’t help but wonder what you did wrong. He still follows you on social media but isn’t active at all (due to his schedule). You’re distraught because you two were so close and then all of a sudden, it’s like you’re strangers. When you try to call or text, you get no answer any more. He won’t accept your FT or return any of your calls. It hurts more than you admit but there is nothing you can do at that point. After a month of this, you decide to give in and ask one of the boys what’s been going on. Obviously they know and aren’t telling you since they’re hesitant in answering any of your questions. At that point, you’re just pissed off and don’t want to deal with it anymore. Eventually, with some convincing from his members, he calls you. But you’re petty and let it go to voicemail. He apologizes and wants to meet up, but you text him that you’re busy and leave it at that. He doesn’t push it but knows you’re upset with him and waits until you’re ready to see him. By the time you do, he looks like a kicked puppy, his head down and pouting and apologizes as many times as you need to hear. He won’t give a confession until many, many months later when the friendship is repaired, though.

Dowoon: he’s gathering all the members to give their input. He needs all the advice he can receive at this point. He’s torn between asking you out and keeping you in the dark about it. The boys are no help whatsoever and are half-half on what he should do. Instead, he becomes awkward around you to the point where the members have to say something about it to him (in private of course). He legit can’t help it, he wants to tell you sooooo bad but damn it! The timing is off and nothing is right in your lives. It’s a horrible time to date and he knows it. He’s a little resentful at JYP for booking them so much to do but at that point there is nothing to be done about it. After some really short conversations and very short and blunt texts, you’d pretty much get the hint. You didn’t know what to say/do to make up with him, but during the time you weren’t talking to Dowoon, is when you’d realize your feelings. It would just make you feel that much worse, since you could’ve said something earlier, maybe things would’ve been different. Thinking about it brings your mood down, but when he texts you out of the blue wanting to hang out, you nearly lose your shit. How can he just drop you and then pick you up when he’s ready!! He’s got another fucking thing coming that’s for sure!! The reunion goes south faster than he would have planned but he doesn’t even know what to say to calm you down before you’re up and out of the cafe, stomping down the street. “How the hell am I going to fix this mess...?”

[theartificialdane]

AAG Verse: I’m not even sorry (except I am)

A new version of my AAG story “I’m not even sorry”, with an actual smut ending ( ;) ) - Cleaned up and redone for my AO3 profile, where I’ve started to upload my AAG verse fics.

Rating: E

Violet was dying, literally, painfully, absolutely dying…of sexual frustration.

Violet was dying, literally, painfully, absolutely dying…of sexual frustration.

Pearl had called her a drama queen earlier that day, but Violet was not having it. She was entitled to her emotions, and right now her main emotion was horny, sprikled with a light dash of annoyed. What was the point of having five lovers if none of them had the time to fuck her?

Trixie, Max, Pearl, and her were on the European tour to celebrate season 9 of RuPaul’s Drag Race. Could Violet just rub one out? Well, yes, yes she could, but this was a matter of principle now. Violet hadn’t had to bring herself to orgasm for more than a year, and right now she was suffering from a serious case of blue balls.

Violet threw herself on the bed in the hotel room she shared with Max. The other was in the bathroom washing away the dust and disgustingness that came from public transportation. Trixie and Pearl were in their room next door to theirs. All of them had flown from America to London, yet no matter how much Violet had begged, none of her partners had caved during the nine hour flight, and she had begged a lot.

Trixie had ended up forcing her to switch seats with Tatianna, so Trixie didn’t have to deal with her, and Violet had ended up sitting with some of the new queens which meant that she had to be on her best normal behavior. It didn’t improve her mood at all. Violet didn’t even care that everyone on the tour, not including her partners, now thought of her as a potential total bitch, a reputation she had worked diligently to get rid off after her own season.

Violet heard the door to the bathroom open, but she refused to move from the bed. Yes, it might have been childish, but she felt tired, horny, and honestly, quite upset from being ignored so much. Let them all know how it felt to not get the attention they needed.

Max walked around the room, opening the windows and turning the TV on. Violet heard the other move stuff around, and it got on her nerves like crazy

“I’m going to order dinner. Do you want anything from room service?”

“Not unless they have dick on the menu.” Violet didn’t move from the bed.

“Are you still upset about the flight?” The bed dipped as Max sat down next to Violet. “Come on sweetheart, I think it’s very fair that none of us were interested in joining the mile high club.”

Max started running his fingers through Violet’s hair and down her back. Violet loved being petted, but right now it just pissed her off more. The petting and Max’s sweetness just felt wrong. She didn’t want sweet right now; she was angry, and she was going to stay angry…even if Max’s hands felt really great…Mmmh…

“Everything can’t go your way all the time, my darling.”

And Violet went right back to being pissed off. She pushed Max away and got up from the bed.

“Fuck off! Fuck all the way off! You’re saying I’m difficult? I’m just asking to get fucked which I think is a very, very ‘fair’ thing to ask for.“ Violet saw that her words hurt Max, but she couldn’t stop. Oh god, she was turning into Fame. Violet opened her mouth, trying to apologize, but she already felt more word vomit rise in her throat. Thankfully she was saved by the bell, or rather the door, since Pearl and Trixie entered the room.

“…What’s going on in here?” Pearl asked.

Trixie could see the upset look on Max's face and went to the tall queens side right away. “Are you okay?”

Violet shrunk away; she just looked at her feet, too ashamed to look at her partners. She didn’t feel like she should apologize, she hadn’t done anything wrong… Except for upsetting Max. That she felt horrible about.

Violet felt a hand grab her hair and with a firm tug, Pearl forced her to look her straight in the eyes.

“Do you want to explain yourself?” Violet heard a low growl in Pearl’s demanding voice.

Violet wanted to say something, explain how angry and rejected she felt for being ignored, but her feelings felt petty and unjustified. They were on a plane, and if she was being honest with herself, she understood where her partners came from when they told her to wait.

“You can’t, can you? Because you’ve been acting like a spoiled little brat all day, whining and complaining. Not caring about anyone else but yourself.”

A blush rose in Violet’s cheeks. Pearl was right; she had been a brat.

“Do you know how we deal with that kind of behaviour?”

Violet nodded and sunk to her knees, Pearl’s grip on her hair losning as she did what he requested.

“Good. Now, crawl over to Max and make sure he knows that you’re very, very sorry about your behaviour.”

***

Max’s cock was amazing, long and slim just like the rest of his body. Violet loved sucking it, nearly choking herself every time she tried to take it all down her throat. The skin was soft as silk and so slick. Max keened when she gently nibbled the head. Violet loved the way his entire body tensed when she brushed her teeth along his shaft. She was on her hands and knees between Max’s legs with her eyes closed underneath the blindfold Pearl had gently placed over her eyes the moment she started obeying.

Violet loved having her mouth stuffed full of cock, loved having her face fucked, loving feeling her partners heavy gaze on her. She was sure Pearl was pumping Trixies fat cock, her partners soft moans filling the room alongside her own. Max’s hands tangled themselves in her hair, controlling her movements, forcing her up and down. Violet’s cock was heavy and so hard that it hurt as it leaked onto the hotel carpet.

“Mmmh!” she moaned around Max’s cock; she just couldn’t help herself. Her body wiggled, her hips thrust forward even though there was no friction, trying to get some unattainable relief. Violet slowly started to lose her mind.

Trixie sat down behind her, and Violet felt two fingers probe her ass, the slick digits opening her up with practised ease and preparing her for later.

Violet moaned again. She could hear Pearl walking around the three of them, gently directing Max and Trixie, his hand even landing on her once in a while. She knew he was most likely filming, or maybe even facetiming with either Fame or Katya, the two still back in America. Violet twisted her back, doing her best to put on a show for her partners.

“Look at you, Vi, getting fucked like this, behaving like the slut we all know you truly are.” Pearl was clearly pleased, and a shiver ran through Violet, her partners pleasure almost better than her own.

Trixie caught Pearl’s eye and smiled, before landing a big slap on Violet’s right cheek, her other hand still occupied by the queen’s tight hole.

“Come here, you have to get this angle, Pearlie. Katya is gonna go wild for it. Look at the way Vi just swallows my fingers.” Trixie thrusted her fingers into Violet.

"Mmh."

"Such a whore." Trixie added a third, filling Violet all the way to her knuckles, making Violet's knees shake with pleasure.

Violet gasped, and Max’s cock fell out of her mouth. Since her hands were firmly planted on the ground and her eyes covered, she just tried helplessly to catch Max’s cock again with her lips and tongue, to no avail.

“Please…Max, please, please, please…”

Max smiled and cupped her hand on Violet’s cheek before guiding her back to his cock, which she eagerly swallowed once again.

“You’re beautiful like this, Vi, so lost in pleasure – A-Ah! Such a pretty girl.” Violet felt Max’s body start to tense. She hummed around his cock, trying, trying so hard to take it all down her throat. The head of Max’s cock hit the back of her throat, cutting her air off, and she started to feel dizzy, but this, to her, and the four fingers in her ass, this was heaven on earth.

Max came with a hoarse shout as he pumped Violet’s mouth full of cum, shooting deep within. Max felt Violet swallow around his cock, saw her drink it all down.

When he pulled away, Violet’s arms gave out and she collapsed to the floor. Her entire body trembled as moan after moan left her pretty pink lips.

“Oh, oh, oh!”

Trixie had been working Violet’s prostate with no mercy at all, Pearl holding the base of Violet’s cock tight in his fist as he filmed.

"Give me the phone." Max held his hand out, Pearl quickly giving him the camera as he could devote his full attention to Violet, a devilish smile on his lips.

Violet’s was leaked a steady stream of clear fluid onto the carpet as they milked her, tears streaming down her face, Pearls tight grip keepinge her from coming. This was torture of the sweetest kind; she could almost feel the bruise on her cock forming as Pearl’s grip turned brutal. Violet tried to twist away, tried to get enough friction to come.

“Please, p-please, I have to, I want to–”

“Nope,” Pearl popped the P. “Only good girls get to come, and you have been behaving very, very badly today. Trying to get us to fuck you in a dirty airplane bathroom. Begging to get jacked off underneath your little blanket. I think you need to earn your orgasm, Princess. We’ve been spoiling you far too much.” Violet could her the smile in Pearl’s voice.

Trixie withdrew her fingers from Violet’s ass, and Violet whined – a high pathetic sound that would have filled her with shame if she was not so far gone.

“No!”

“No?” Pearl asked. “You don’t get to tell us no, Baby-girl. You’re not in charge.”

"I am." Violet could hear the smile in Trixies voice, the twist on her lips, the evil glint in her eyes. "And I think 10 will be good."

"10?" 10 what? 10 what? Violets mind was realing.

"10 sounds perfect." Maxs hand ran over her sweat soaked back, Pearl taking his place at her head. Why was Max moving? He was filming but-

Violet's thoughts where cut short by a blinding pain, Trixies hand landing straight on the fattest part of her ass, two more blows quickly following, hitting her cheeks and her hole. Violet howled, surprise, pain and pleasure all mixing together as she fell forward on her arms, her forehead hitting Pearls leg, her partner instantly twisting his hand into her hair, holding her down and keeping her safe.

"What are you Violet?"

Slap, slap, slap.

"Sorry- I'm-"

"I don't believe you."

Slap, slap

"I'm sorry!"

"Say it one more time!"

"I'm sorry!"

"Well done."

Just as Trixie hit her for the last time, Pearl released Violet's cock, the sting of sweat on her skin, her burning ass, her partners attention all pushing her over the edge, her cock pulsing, and Violets world went black.

***

"Mmmh?"

Violet moved slightly, she was laying against someone, her cheek resting on a soft piece of fabric. There was so much noise, someone laughing. Where was she? Violet opened her her eyes.

"I think she's awake now."

Violet looked up. She was leaning on Max, her partner holding her in his arms. She was dressed in her bathrobe, her body slightly sticky, as if someone had whiped her off, and her partners most likely had. Max always taking such good care of her afterwards.

"Hey princess." Violet focused on Pearl, her primary smiling at her. They where on the hotelroom couch, the TV running Disney Channel. "Did you have a nice sleep?"

"Mmh.."

"Good job sweet girl."

Violet closed her eyes again, drifting off to sleep with a warm feeling inside. She was safe and loved, and the luckiest sub in the world.

[baekzhang]

paperweight | pcy

park chanyeol. reader-insert. 5,2k words. fluff/angst. au

—it couldn’t hold onto those letters forever. Neither could he hold onto her.

this one is for Liv

⚜️

“Dear Chanyeol, 

I’m not quite sure whether to classify you as dumb or cute. Seriously, Park Chanyeol? You sent a ring along with a letter with the words “will you marry me?”and a doodle of yourself kneeling, I can’t believe you!

Oh, and PS: Yes, I will.

Love, ____.”

                                              -------------------------

Dear Chanyeol,

I’ll be moving abroad next week. Dad just told me he would be stationed somewhere in Europe. I’m sorry. We wanted to celebrate your 19th birthday together, but I guess I have to break that promise. However, I will write you as much as I can! We will stay friends. Forever, for always. You won’t get rid of me.

Love, _____. 

 ⚜️ 

Dear Chanyeol,

Okay, I just arrived at the new house. It’s not as nice as our old one, although it’s bigger. But I speak zero Spanish, I mean, except for ¡Hola señor!, but that is the biggest of my capacity. How is life? How is it without the best of the best a.k.a me? It must be boring as hell. Drink some soju for me because they only have some cerveza here. Okay, maybe I know some more than hola. 

Love, _____. 

 ⚜️

Dear Chanyeol, 

Can you believe it? I ate bubble gum ice cream again! You and I used to share a scoop because YOU (and I, but mostly YOU) always spent your money on these stupid trading cards and so we were broke and had to count every damn won for one damn ice cream. I felt alive. Thinking of you. Please, come to Spain someday. I still don’t know Spanish. It’s been a month. Save me, Yeol. 

Love, _____. 

 ⚜️ 

Dear Chanyeol, 

I just read your letter and I won’t answer your goo texts on kakao. Pen pal is better than texting and drunk calling. At least you have to invest some money into communication here. I heard you got a job as a composer. Remember when you wrote this song for that girl from your class and she flat out rejected you? She was a dumb bitch, that song was so damn good. I hope you let some A+ singer sing it someday, it will be the biggest hit for sure. Count me in as a buyer, although it takes like two weeks for the shipping, but some killing anticipation is satanic, yet pleasing. 

Love, _____. 

 ⚜️ 

Dear Chanyeol, 

Ah yeah, it wasn’t really finished yet! You mentioned that. But hey that one verse alone had me! It’s been three years since then, but I still remember it very well. Why did you never write a song for me? I feel stabbed. Just kidding, would be cool if you wrote one for me, too, someday. You know, some credit for these eighteen years I stuck with your ass. And I would have done even longer if I wasn’t stuck in Europe. But if you close your eyes, drink three beer and look at some moderate looking girl walking by, it’s basically like I am still there. 

Love, _____. 

 ⚜️ 

Dear Chanyeol, 

¡Hola mi amigo! Puedo hablar un poco español por la presente… But seriously, I hate that I have to learn a new language. And they talk faster than you when you tried to rap like Zico. Imagine what their hiphop sounds like? Probably like 2x sped up triple time Eminem rap. Anyway, Dad said that I might [sic!] be able to visit you during the summer! Isn’t that great? Because I think it is. I know you have a job, I have, too, although I really suck at communicating, but I am somehow managing. Let’s meet soon. You still owe me the 3000 won for when I chugged down that warm beer and almost died. I want barbecue, and you and your freshly filled wallet cannot stop me. 

Love, _____. 

 ⚜️ 

Dear Buzz Lightyeol, 

You are always so busy. You take eternities and beyond to reply. It’s been three weeks since I sent that letter. Answer me. Also, I booked the flight. It’s only for a week because my boss didn’t think I am worth of more days off, but it’s better than nothing, I guess. 

Love, _____. 

 ⚜️ 

Dear Chanyeol, 

It’s okay, you were busy and your handwriting is ugly, so you take weeks to write a sentence. I forgive you. Three weeks till my flight. Fuel your wallet because I will eat a lot! Also! Jongdae became a singer!? I just went through Naver and his face popped up! Tell him that no matter what clothes he’ll wear, he’ll still remain the three-year-old boy who pissed his pants when my Dad played Santa back then. 

Love, _____. 

 ⚜️ 

Dear Chanyeol, 

Honestly, fuck that I am in Seoul and my hotel is five minutes away from your apartment. This letter writing game is fun and I’ll sneakily put this in your jacket when you don’t look because I am just that level of ninja. It was a great first day out of seven. I can’t believe you got a balloon with my name on it and brought it to the airport. You are crazy, but I like that about you so much, though. Just stay crazy. Don’t be lame like Kyungsoo. I cannot believe that after eight months all he had to offer to me was a hand shake. Like? What about a hug? Money? Food? Is he broke on feelings and wallet or what? But at least you love me enough to get me a balloon. You’re the best. 

Love, _____. 

 ⚜️ 

Dear Chanyeol, 

Okay but I really didn’t expect you to actually pay for the entire beef I ordered. Did you rob a bank? It’s okay, you can share your secrets and money with me. It’s so good to see your stupid face again after so long. It’s amazing how we aren’t so awkward and that I can still knock on your door at midnight with soju and watch Grey’s Anatomy. Why are you always crying, though? You watched the first five seasons at least twenty times omg. Also, I’m laughing. You still haven’t seen the first letter I hid in your pocket. You’re so oblivious, it’s actually cute. 

Love, _____. 

 ⚜️ 

Dear Chanyeol, 

I apologize for being so clingy today, although you didn’t seem to mind too much. You are just very tall and even though you have the tendency to look like a child when you grin, puberty really did justice to you and not having seen you for so long made me get hit with that fact as if with a brick. You’re handsome. There. Smile, smirk, grin, I don’t care. I like you. You are cute. You are funny. You bought me food. You are my best buddy. Date me: 

 ↳ Yes [x]    No [ ]    Maybe [ ] 

I answered on behalf of you already. No stepping out. This is a contract for eternity. 

Love, your new found girlfriend. 

⚜️ 

Dear Chanyeol, 

Good that your taste doesn’t suck as much as it did back then with your old crush. What was her name again? I forgot. I can’t believe I had to literally shove the letters into your hands because you didn’t find them. It’s sad that this is already day 4/7. Like seriously, maybe I should just quit my job and life in Spain. Dad said I am old enough to move out and live my own life. I kinda want that…but I don’t want to leave my old life behind like that. It’s so hard that I have to decide between (eloping with) my boyfriend or my family. I want to have you kiss me everyday, but I can only have this for the next three days. Don’t waste your lips on beer bottles too much. You have some perfectly fine lips to kiss right in front of you. 

Love, _____. 

 ⚜️ 

Dear Chanyeol, 

You’ve been my boyfriend for only two days now, but I am damn sure you are the best. Seriously, I never even mentioned going to the sea and what are you doing? You take me to the sea. What can I do? Burn toast and have you almost choke on it. And you dare to say it tasted delicious. Lying is not good, Park Chanyeol (but thank you for caring about me so much, though. You’re a jem with e and a). 

Love, _____. 

 ⚜️ 

Dear Chanyeol, 

Baekhyun is third wheeling so hard and he enjoys it. He’s very precious, you found a good substitute for the best friend position. But don’t you tall bitch dare take him for the girlfriend/boyfriend position once I depart tomorrow. I will return and chop your thumbs. Also thank you for having stayed the night. Not in that way, but for just being there. It was nice to wake up to your snoring self and atop your really comfy sweater. It’s very soft and suits you way too well for my own good. 

Love, _____. 

 ⚜️ 

Dear Chanyeol, 

You looked so sad when you realized it’s our last day. I’m writing this whilst you are getting me my drink, just in case you’re wondering. Also this handwriting will be hella quick and you might not be able to read everything, but I try to be fast here. Don’t worry, I’ll come back, or you come to me. We will continue to write letters. Maybe I will FaceTime with you, too…if you’re lucky, which you are because I like you very much. Help, I don’t want to leave. I want to stay with you and watch some stupid 2 a.m tv shows and fall asleep in your arms again. There is so much I want to do, but there’s no time for now, which sucks. 

Love, ______. 

 ⚜️ 

Dear Chanyeol, 

Ha! I wonder when you’ll find this letter because this is my secret letter that I didn’t place in front of your self. I stole your sweater :) and I don’t intend to return it. So you have to come to Europe to get it back! 

Love, ______. 

 ⚜️ 

Dear Chanyeol, 

Okay, I’m back to Europe. Dad asked why I was smiling so much and told him that he’s at fault that I am separated from my future husband and he laughed so much, but he was happy. So don’t worry, he won’t murder you when you introduce yourself to be my boyfriend to him. I mean, it would be crazy if he blew a fuss. He basically was present at your first poop, so… 

Love, _____. 

 ⚜️ 

Dear Chanyeol, 

You haven’t answered my last letter yet, it’s only been a few days, so it’s still on the way—consider yourself lucky. Even though I really love sending letters, why am I only now hearing that you are Jongdae’s producer? He has the voice of a god! He better not mess up your masterpieces. But hey, now you have that AAA singer for that song. Oh my, I keep nagging you with it. I’m sorry. 

Love, ______. 

 ⚜️ 

Dear Chanyeol, 

Dad saw the letter that just came and he ran upstairs like the biggest moron and kept teasing me. What is he? Twelve? Baekhyun? He was mentioning a surprise, but who knows. My old man has been acting anything close to old currently and behaves like a child, so I can probably only expect some spoiled chocolate cake from him. How is work going? I’m sorry I didn’t take your call yesterday (although when you read this a week has probably already passed). Can mailmen be faster, please? But yeah, I was at work and I already have a strike for having been late twice. I miss you, Yeol. Your sweater began smelling more like me than you, I’m going insane. 

Love, _____. 

 ⚜️ 

 Dear Chanyeol, 

I saw Jongdae on tv today! And I could have sworn you were that undeniably handsome and tall man in the back. It might already be around a month since my visit to Seoul, but you’ve been having that sassy posture since you were five years old! I see you, Park Chanyeol. Also, Jesus, don’t send food here. It will spoil on the way unless it’s chocolate or something…that lasts longer. But I’m sure your first gimbap tasted amazing when it was still edible. You can cook for me when I visit again! 

Love, _____. 

⚜️ 

Dear Chanyeol,

Mom found old pictures from kindergarten. We looked so cute in them, even Jongdae. Back then he didn’t have that shit eating grin like he has now. But you were so cute, cutest baby cheeks alive. It’s so sad that we live like miles and miles apart. I miss you so much! You should come and visit me. I could show you around a little bit.

Love, _____.

⚜️

Dear Chanyeol, 

You could have just told me that you would be in a music video, you know. Especially when you are looking like the biggest fuckboi in it and make out with some girl instead of having me find it on YouTube. I don’t know if I should be mad at the fact that you didn’t tell me or because you are doing stuff with that girl you never did with me. But then I tell myself that you probably didn’t choose the theme of the song or the music video. It still hurts. And I don’t know if I’m lying to myself that we work out when we’re so far away from each other. I don’t know. Maybe I just shouldn’t send this letter at all. Congratulations. The public seems to acknowledge you for your looks, acting and your musical talent. You made it. That’s the sunny side to this story, I guess.

Love, _____.

⚜️

Dear Chanyeol,

It’s alright, I’m not mad anymore. I was talking to Jongdae and he said you weren’t comfortable with the situation in the music video, and—even though he is the biggest jokester next to Byun Baekyhun—I trust him on that. You don’t have to apologize. I was just too jealous, I shouldn’t have been. It’s your job, it’s not like you grew feelings for that woman. She was probably not really comfortable either… Let’s just not dwell onto such topic, alright? I passed all my college exams for this term, I’m beat. I was studying so much that I pretty much forget that I was mad at all. You’re so lucky to be a music genius and already have a stable career and a well paid job.

Love, ____.  

⚜️ 

—–

Dear Chanyeol, 

I forgot to sent you a letter on your birthday. I’m horrible and I feel miserable. I don’t know how I can even apologize for not congratulating you and not even reacting to your texts and calls. You seemed so worried, but I couldn’t talk to anyone that day. I felt like shit, I just now I feel a little less like shit after I emptied the one or other beer. Chanyeol, it’s my mom. She cheated on my dad and they want a divorce. I’m supposed to be an adult and handle this, but they are my parents. I grew up with the idea of them being the perfect couple, that nothing could get in between them, and I thought we’d be the same. But now? It feels like everything my mom said was a lie. When she said she loved Dad and that we are the most important people for her. It hurts, Chanyeol. And I know you can’t do anything, but I also know that you will try. I don’t know when I will deal with everything better, I just don’t want you to get the wrong idea of me. I like you a lot, Park Chanyeol. It’s just hard for me to take a pen in my hand and write this all down. If you don’t hear from me anytime soon, don’t worry too much alright? I’ll be better.

Love, _____.

⚜️

Dear Chanyeol, 

No, just no. You don’t know what it feels like. Your parents are still together, they are not fighting and cheating on each other. They are not feeding you with lies of being together forever and loving each other, okay!? You don’t know what it feels like, and I hope you’ll never have to experience it either because it sucks. It just sucks.

Love, _____.

⚜️

Dear Chanyeol,

I realized after I sent the letter that I was overreacting. I hope this one will make it you on the same day as the one before. I’m sorry, you tried to comfort me. I shouldn’t have unleashed my frustration on you. It’s Mom’s fault and not yours. You’re never at fault, you’re the only one who hasn’t lied to me. You’re one of those people who immediately say what’s up and not hold it in forever till I find out. I value you a lot, Park Chanyeol. I want us to be together forever, unlike what happened to my parents. I want us to do better than them. And I feel like we do even though we are continents apart. 

Love, _____.

⚜️

Dear Chanyeol,

I feel even worse about what I said in that bitchy letter. How dare you just show up at my doorstep like this. How do you even have Dad’s number, and how dare he tell you the address. Just kidding, I’m glad he did. Also, why the hell am I writing you a letter when you sit right next to me. This letter game is really out of hand. Let me guess, you want the sweater I stole back, right? But you have to comfort me and go on a date with me first, else I’ll hide it forever. For how long are you staying? Just for the weekend! That’s too short. Okay, I stop this now. This is getting awkward to write.

Love, _____.

⚜️

Dear Chanyeol, 

You’re sleeping right now and you look super soft, but you snore so loud that I can’t sleep. Thank you for today. It was nice, everything was. From the date, to well, now. It was my first, but you probably know that, since I was the forever virgin back then. You, too, though! Sehun kept teasing us about it just because he had a girlfriend before you. What a loser. Hey, Chanyeol, I love you. You always do thing for me that no sane person would ever do. Like how back then when I was late for an exam you ate Baekhyun’s horrible cooking just to really look like you were sick…and well, from what I heard of Jongdae, you also puked on Mr. Park’s new shoes. 

Love, ____.

⚜️

Dear Chanyeol,

It was good to see you again, and Jongdae called me just now saying where the fuck you are. Did you seriously book a flight without telling your boss, just because I was a devastated mess? Proves again that you’re insane! I don’t know how I even deserve you.

Also thank you for letting me keep the sweater. You were wearing it before you left. It smells like you again. Gosh that sounded cheesy. You’re infecting me with your flowery language, Park Chanyeol! Not that I mind.

Love, ____.

⚜️

Dear Chanyeol, 

Why did I decide to study Psychology again? My head is spinning from all the revising I have to do! I just read through all the letters you sent me, I really needed a break. How is it going by the way? I was looking through Naver and I saw that Jongdae is preparing for a comeback? And apparently you are going to produce that album! Write him good songs, his voice is great. Maybe you can sneak yourself into a feature haha. I don’t know much about music, but I know that your voice sounds just perfect and you and Jongdae could really pull off a duet. Maybe get Baekhyun for it, too! He can sing well, although he was always pissing off Mrs. Choi in choir class. But she overlooked everything because he had the best voice and even when he was sick he hit all the notes. Speaking of Baekhyun, he keeps sending me wedding dress pictures and edits our heads on some Google Image wedding pictures. He’s crazy, give him a hug from me.

Love, ____.

⚜️

Dear Chanyeol,

I’m not quite sure whether to classify you as dumb or cute. Seriously, Park Chanyeol? You sent a ring along with a letter with the words “will you marry me?”and a doodle of yourself kneeling, I can’t believe you!

Oh, and PS: Yes, I will.

Love, ____.

⚜️

Dear Chanyeol, 

Honestly, it feels so weird wearing the ring and having to explain that it came by the mail. Seriosuly, Park Chanyeol, you could have just done that when you were here to visit me. Maybe it wasn’t really the best of moments, but Jesus, it would be a lie if I’d have said no then, no matter how grumpy and period cramps fueled I might have been. Also, stop Jongdae from sending me memes from We Got Married with our faces on. First Baekhyun and now Jongdae, doesn’t he have something to do? Like, singing for example? And you still haven’t told me anything about Jongdae’s comeback, and neither has he because I refuse to answer to his texts since they are all about “your boy Chanyeol wanna smooch you” and “name one child after me”. He’s ridiculous, but…if we ever have kids and one is a really big idiot with the loudest voice, sure, let’s name him Jongdae.

Love, ____.

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Dear Chanyeol,

Mom called me today and I at first only wanted to hang up, but in the end I heard her out and met her with her new boyfriend…or more like the affair. I don’t like him, although he was nice to me and she seemed happy, I just can’t befriend with the idea of being all chill with the homewrecker. Is that childish of me, Yeol?

And what am I seeing there? Jongdae spammed me with his teaser pictures instead of memes, can you believe! He said that his comeback is going to take a while though, and that these teaser pictures will probably not be out till a few months. Work some faster haha. I want to listen to the masterpieces you’ve been hiding from me, your fiancee. We shouldn’t have secrets from each other, and with secrets I mean: send me your music. Nah, just kidding, you’re a perfectionist. I’ll patiently wait till Jongdae will send me all the music files the comeback.

Love, ____.

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Dear Chanyeol,

Sorry for not replying so long! And don’t be confused because of the address, too! Dad is now stationed in the U.K. I finally was able to Spanish and then we’re moving again. I forgot half of the English we had in school, Chanyeol! But just saying, if Jongdae ever plans a world tour, he should come to Europe and the U.K. My personal recommendation is to go to chippie and get yourself saveloy. The best stuff you can get. I sent you a selfie of me at one of these iconic British phone boxes. Even though Spain grew to me, I like it here, too. You should definitely come and visit me.

Love, ____.

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Dear Chanyeol,

Dad asked if you’d like to come over soon! He actually transformed his old hobby room into…a room just for you. He likes you a lot and he was probably even happier about that cringe proposal via mail than I was. So yeah, you have a room here now, and I’m going to be really honest here: why the heck does your room look better than mine? And it’s bigger than mine! The injustice, I’m his blood and he chooses your sorry ass over me. 

But still, Dad has always been like…dangerous when it came to boys. And here he is, waiting till the wedding we have not even planned out yet. We’re still so young and being engaged is great, too. But we’ll marry, right? I mean…you didn’t propose for nothing.

Love, ____.

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Dear Chanyeol,

Dad got me into soccer, like not the playing one, but just watching. He started liking soccer already in Spain when he supported Atlético like his life depended on it. I wasn’t too interested in it back then, but hey, so many people here are into soccer and after having watched some matches with Dad, it’s actually interesting. I can finally understand Lu Han, I guess. Though not too much on the Real Madrid part? 

Tell him he should switch teams. Who needs Real when you have Hotspur or Dortmund? Who needs Ronaldo when you have Son Heung-min and Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang?

Love, ____.

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Dear Chanyeol,

I just went for the mail and seriously? You bought me a Borussia Dortmund jersey and put your name on it. “I’m the true keeper and not Bürki”, cheesy much? But yeah, you are, Park Chanyeol. You are the one and only keeper, although you’d be the first to hide from the ball when you were the goal keeper. 

Love, ____.

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Dear Keeper, 

No, I did not ditch you for Roman Bürki haha. I’m sorry for replying so late, on phone and by letter. Dad and I went for a little vacation in the middle of nowhere—camping and father-daughter bonding, don’t ask—and there was no post office and I had zero internet, so…I’m sorry.

Also, if I won’t reply quickly, I’m currently very caught up with exams. I had to retake some because I moved and it’s all so stressful. I want to do good, so don’t worry too much.

How is everything going with Jongdae? It’s been a while since his last spam, he must be busy, too.

Love, ____.

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Dear Chanyeol,

Guess who is in England and into whom I ran today? Minseok! He’s actually an exchange student, but just for a couple of weeks. His English is better than mine, I feel offended, but Minseok was always good at everything. I remember how we were all such good friends and Minseok always saved our ass when we caused trouble. Oh God, do you remember when I had such a big crush on him and I confessed to him by letter and I accidentally placed the letter in Baekhyun’s jacket? He kept annoying the shit out of me and I had to pay him way too much snacks to have him shut his big mouth. 

Love, ____.

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Dear Chanyeol,

Oh my, there is no need to be jealous! I only like you, my keeper! Besides, Minseok will be off to Seoul when this letter reaches you, so it’s all good. It was just nice to talk to someone, who I actually know. It was lonely for the first weeks because I didn’t know how to interact with people. How do you get along with people so well, Yeol? Share your secrets! 

But I miss you so much! I’m wearing your sweater right now and sit in “your” room. Really, Dad put so much effort into this, you should at least sleep here like once…please?

Love, ____.

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Dear Chanyeol,

I can’t believe I missed you! My aunt recently moved to Scotland, so I went to visit her there. You should have told me in advance, I’d have met up with her some other day. Dad told me immediately when I cam back. You were literally only there to sleep there once. You could have stayed longer, you know?

But it’s alright, I messed it up. Next time I’ll be there no matter what!

Love, ____.

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Dear Chanyeol,

Again, sorry for replying so late. I had half of the letter written, but never sent it. So now I’m writing it again. Jongdae was texting me just now and I saw all the messages you sent me. My phone was on silent, ah, I feel so bad. Anyway, Jongdae sent me a mp3 file, some teaser for the title track! I was kind of hoping it would be that song from years ago to be honest. But this one is good, too. Very catchy, I’m proud of you, Park Chanyeol. Your birthday comes up so soon, too! I try to visit you, oh wait, that was actually meant to be a surprise. Though, let’s all be real here, Baekhyun already told you that, right?

Love, ____.

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Dear Chanyeol, 

Promise me to never be mad at me! I may have lied to you. But it wasn’t because I wanted to, it’s just. Nevermind.

Love, a liar.

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Dear Chanyeol,

It sucks that your birthday always brings more pain to you than happiness ever since I moved away, twice. Surprise, I’ve been trying hard to fight. But I can’t anymore. Back then I didn’t write you for weeks because I was in hospital doing chemo. Also, my aunt never moved to Scotland, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to lie, but I wanted even less for you to worry. It was stupid. I thought everything would be fine. I really did. They told me I was doing well, I was a real fighter. But the tumor was fighting, too. When this letter arrives at yours, at your birthday, I’ll be already…gone…again. And this time I can’t write you anymore. My hand keeps shaking, so my Dad is writing this for me. I’m in hospital again. It’s so white and monotone and everything smells like Kyungsoo’s fabric conditioner basically. Yesterday, I was reading through all the letters you sent me, I even read those stupid messages you sent to my phone. Promise me not to cry. I love you. Just remember that I really do love you…so much. You’re the best person I ever shared bubble gum ice cream with, you are the best composer, best friend, best boyfriend and fiance. Thank you for everything you did for me. Thank you for saving my ass. Thank you for carrying my drunk ass around when I was far away from taking a proper step. Also sorry for having puked on your favorite converse back then. Thank you for loving such a lame person like me. Thank you for being you. Also thank you for having spent money on stamps and perfecting your handwriting to impress me. You didn’t with it, though. But the content did. You are amazing. I wish I could listen to that song you never finished again. I hope you do finish it one day and sing it yourself. Your voice is beautiful. I wish I could have you whisper “I love you” into my ear again. Park Chanyeol, thank you. 

Love, _____. 

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Dear _____, 

Guess what! I actually lied to you. I’m sorry, babe, haha. The songs I was writing weren’t for Jongdae to sing, I was just working on one of his songs. I am working on his album now, the work I did during all those months was my own album. It will be out on my birthday, when this letter will arrive along with my album. The song I once sang that you liked so much…I finished it. It’s about you, how much I love you. I hope it will be your new favorite song because this is just for you, my love, my stupid little _____. 

Love, Chanyeol.