Tumgik
#but ofc my three month crush apparently has more priority according to my brain -_-
valpuduzz · 1 month
Text
vent continued here but plz ignore this, for some reason venting on tumblr makes me feel slightly better 😭
#the meowing of a cat 🐱#sometimes i cant focus on talking to him because all i want to do is confess my love to him but i cant#because he doesnt feel the same way and it's very obvious my feelings are not platonic in the slightest#my crush is the sweetest person ever and i know he is only forcing himself to be my friend because he's so nice#i dont know if ive been creepy or weird but i know he finds me weird and it fucking destroys me. but i rlly just want him to be honest#if he hates me it will destroy me so fucking badly but also i want him to do what is best for him#and if that's to get away from me i support him#i dont even know why i think he hates me. ive been trying my best not to show my overflowing love for him and i try to be a normal friend#god. i hate this. i hate this. i hate this i hate this i hate this#i hate this because my fucking ROMANTIC FEELINGS have clouded me from focusing on my TRUE friendships#i love my friends so fucking much i know they will never leave me and will never hate me#but ofc my three month crush apparently has more priority according to my brain -_-#i want to spend as much time as i can with him and i want to learn as much as i can abt him#and i hate it because i love my friends. i miss my friends but everytime im not with my crush i feel like he's going to forget me#i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself so fucking much#i dont know why im like this#i guess when i get attached to something i get very attached#i miss my friends but i get so on edge when im not with my crush#because my dumbass thinks i have a chance even though it's very fucking clear my chances are 0%#and i will never ever ever be someone special to him#i will never even have a special platonic relationship with him like my other friends. i will only just be a friend#he will never look at me the way i see him and that's fine with me but at the same time i wish i could send my overflowing love to him#i want to rot this summer. i dont deserve the people who actually see me as someone special#im a very cruel person. im sorry to my friends and my crush. im sorry
0 notes