#but only those certain ones. my mom may be a white latina but she is very much a white woman in that traditional european american sense

[kurosukii]

Cw: body image, race, fetishizing, fetishization

Warning this long:

To the anon that stopped watching porn bc of body image issues:

Even when porn "tries" (I use that term in the loosest way possible) to be "inclusive" it's really just fetishizing. Porn really was just meant for white cishet men.

If you see any POC in porn that is always highlighted and if course categorized. Why? Bc is a fucking fetish. Like seriously? You have, Latina, Black girl, Thug, Asian, BBW, Midget, Mature. Like say good bye to just watching 2 average people with or without a handicap have sex. And even that will just be under amateur if you want the homemade stuff, which still lacks in variety. I have found more inclusivity in those and they're usually just under amateur and not categorized with "amateur black/asian/latina/bbw and so on "

But either way I generally end up watching hentai (bc fuck realism) or something animated or cg. Like serious the only time you'll see diversity is in animated or CG stuff. I say variety bc you'll find vids with monsters, aliens, and whatever.

My friend who is married to a white man says that all his friends asked him, "how is it to have sex with a black woman?" And he was like, "dafuq? Like anyone else bc she's a woman". She said white men, older men especially, would target her bc they somehow thought black women were different in bed.

The best you'll get is sticking to fics and even then it's hard unless you have a self indulgent writer who isn't the euro centric beauty standard and waifish. It's funny bc we say eurocentric, but European men aren't bothered by women with body hair or plus sized women like it is over here in America. Well, I may be over-generalizing bc I'm sure it's more common in certain European countries where a hairier woman is commonplace. When I went to Europe it was more common to see men, regardless of body type, being with a variety of women. So you'd see someone like Bo or Sakusa that would happily be with a plus sized and petite woman and be totally smitten regardless. Same on the other end. Women that some would consider hot and thin being with average men that are of various body types.

I wonder if you get those apps to switch your VPN how different the porn results would be. When I went to Japan and went onto pornhub the videos that popped up were vastly different than what shows up in America.

In Spain there is a female porn director that takes stories written by people that watch her stuff and she turns them into porn. So basically you'd write a self indulgent scenario and send it to her and then she makes a porn out of it. But her videos are more on the romantic side, and also more geared to females in the sense that it's not the over the top grossness you sometimes see with male dominated vids. Like those can be good in small doses bc yeah, sometimes I just want to see a guy really rail a chick.

I'm generally not physically attracted to white men so I have to not focus on the actors too. And again all POC content is fetishizing. Any non thin body or abled body is also fetishized.

My issues appearance wise is that in hairy and also have lots of facial hair bc of pics so that's something I get shamed for and something you won't really see anywhere. I mean I'm not thin by American standards either. I have a saggy belly and lots of loose skin around it bc of kids. I always say it looks like a sad basset hound (yeah I'm really selling myself here) And freaking MILF porn is def not representative of what actual moms look like post kids.

🐍

wewww naur cause agree with the whole fetishizing part 100% pawrn is fake afff (the well funded ones anyway, amateur is slightly slightly better) and yeahhh @ nonnie don’t feel too bad about yourself bc you’re amazing and beautiful and don’t let pawrn define you <33 (NOT THE BASSET HOUND !1’wnfjdnd)

[sugarnospice]

Welcome to my world!

Hi! Up until recently it's just been me here but it’s time you all live in it too with me. By you all I guess I mean whoever takes a second to read this blog post. I want to take a second to give you a little introduction to me, myself and I and also touch on what I hope to get out of this Tumblr page. On paper this is what I look like most: I’m a 20 year old Latina studying at James Madison University. I will be graduating in May 2022 with a B.S in Organizational Communications and a minor in Human Resource Development. I'm newly elected Chapter President for the Gamma Phi Beta chapter on campus & I was born January 19, 2000 in Haverhill, Massachusetts. Like most may be able to relate, paper me isn’t the final version of myself in this world. In fact, paper me is my least favorite of my avatars.

I grew up in Lawrence, MA but went to school 15 minutes away in Haverhill where the kids were all white and the same kids you went to school with in kindergarten had a great chance at still being in your homeroom when you graduated from Haverhill High School. My mom always told me she and my father could be as “ghetto” as they wanted but I wasn't allowed to be… I guess that's how I landed myself with this weird double life... My parents were not the conventional kind, young and still hitting the clubs but nonetheless they worked hard to sign me up for every team I wanted to be on. Though my primary sport was cheerleading, I tried soccer, lacrosse, band, theater, track, basketball (Being 5’1 made this a short-lived dream). My mom may not have been at every game and growing up this confused me, but the reality is someone had to make the money for all the athletic fees, equipment, traveling and uniforms. My amazing mother did all of that and more for me. I tribute some of my best qualities to that woman because I am a product of striving to be just like her. I always wanted to be a daddy's girl but, in our household, it was a matriarchy, and no one messed with the woman in charge and for that I idolize her.

I guess since I told you my least favorite version of myself, I should also share my favorite parts. I was born on January 19 so that makes me a Capricorn. I love checking off to-do lists and adding things that have already been done just to check them off and make me feel more accomplished. I love to be in charge. I take pride in my ability to influence and lead others and I’m thankful to have people who are willing to trust me. I’m 420 friendly & I think I'm a better person for this. My love languages are words of affirmation & quality time. I have a sense for people's energy, and I know how to control the energy that I give off to others. I have a bad habit of absorbing other people’s feelings and becoming a shell of myself to help them work through their pain. I’m good with my words but getting me to use them is sometimes another challenge. I believe in mind over matter but sometimes my mind works 15 steps ahead of me. I prefer paper calendars over online ones because I work in IT and I know that if there's one thing certain in this world it's that technology will always find a new way to fail. I’m hardworking, I love hip-hop and rap music and I love a good car ride as long as I’m in the passenger seat with my feet up on the dash.

I will stand in any line for coffee no matter how long and even if it's below freezing, I will still get a large iced coffee. I prefer the mountains over the beach. I pretend to be stronger than I am in hope someone sees right through me. I love hugs and I love trying new things. I believe in love at first sight. I believe in people's words. I believe in energy and magic and I believe the universe gives back to those that give to it.

Some of you reading may know me and some of you may not and I want to say there's not much to know about me, but I know better than to sell myself short. I don't intend on using this as another online diary for myself. That’s what my twitter is for. But I do hope that one day someone stumbles across my writing and they find the words they have been looking for this whole time. I hope I can inspire someone to keep going for what they want or turn away from something they don't need in their life anymore. I’m 20 years old but I think soon you will find that I know a little too much for my age. I’m ready to open up about the things that have happened to me and how my growth, especially in the last year, has put me in a good place to finally start this blog that until recently only existed as half thoughts and poems in my notes app.

Thank you for giving me a chance to share myself with you. I hope you find comfort in my words and warmth in my intentions. It is a scary time to be alive but at least you are.

Talk to you soon…

Shi

[piccolina-mina]

I feel there are a lot of mostly white fans telling mostly POC fans what is and isn't white passing. I respect the attempts at ally ship and solidarity. I appreciate it. But remember, POC deal with colorism in our communities every single day of our lives since birth.

There are genuinely people who erase a person's heritage and culture and that is unacceptable and not fair. It's wrong. I'll never stop saying that it's wrong.

I agree, but if you don't understand how deep and nuanced the long history of colorism goes in every single POC community, can you please maybe dial it back on policing us on what constitutes as white passing just because the terminology I suppose makes you uncomfortable? We, better than anyone, know what it is.

You can get upset at people who won't acknowledge things like TB's heritage. You should get upset. Because that type of erasure is very problematic, but as a multi-racial light skinned man, he is white passing.

POC aren't solely battling issues that come with a white majority world, they battle micro issues within their communities too.

Don't conflate white-passing with white. It's not erasing a person's heritage by pointing out that they may have certain privileges and setbacks because of their lighter complexion given their heritage.

It's not an indictment or a naughty word. It's not something that should be taboo. It's an observation. It doesn't make them exempt from racism completely and no one is suggesting that. It means they're just maybe not considered as "bad" as their darker brethren and sistren. And as many mutiracial, biracial and lighter POC can attest it comes with a long complicated history of being too POC for white people and not POC enough for POC.

Being white-passing meant half of my grandfather's siblings could go to a closer and better 'whites only" grocery story in their little town in the south while growing up and get food for the rest of their non-passing family without being arrested or worse. Being white-passing also meant one of those siblings didn't realize she married into a racist family until her in-laws saw her very brown baby.

White passing and erasure seem like very similar conversations and in many ways they are, but they aren't the exact same. Being white passing or light skinned means Tyler B can and has also played white roles despite being Indigenous. Same with Michael Trevino who can and has often played white characters despite being Latino. And it is a privilege other actors of darker color may not have.

Erasure means Amber Midthunder often plays Latina roles despite being Indigenous because of how little indigenous stories are told. Or how Heather Hemmens a la my girl Gina Torres, often can only find or get cast as specifically black despite being black latinx.

So when many people speak about a white passing TB playing Alex, what gets lost a lot is that the representation in general is great but seeing it incorporated into the series and explored more is ideal.

It's not off base for someone to not know if a white passing actor is actually playing their race, and for awhile within the series there was very little to go on. I sincerely hope next season that part of Alex is explored more.

I want to know more about his mom and how she ended up with Jesse. I want to know more about his brothers. His interactions with Flint were interesting for many reasons, and I loved that his brother was darker than him because it was so true to how biracial children can come in all different colors.

Because indigenous representation is so underrepresented in media and onscreen, it's all the more important that we see it explored. Fortunately, I believe Carina will so that more next season.

I do think there is a chance for the show to touch on how colorism works in POC communities specifically with Alex or even Kyle. I think maybe people would understand this whole thing with white passing and what that entails.

It has been brought up so often and I think with more context it could make more sense for many people so when they see it and depending on the context in which they see it used, it won't bring about so many high emotions ... and maybe if it's addressed in the show or it's discussed by other posters one respects or are more inclined to listen to and consider their words it'll help with this specific issue.

[orbemnews]

She was tired of seeing Black stereotypes on TV. So she started her own streaming service “I didn’t see my father, my brothers, my husband represented,” Spencer told CNN Business. “The media was really inundated with these false stereotypes.” And so began Spencer’s hunt for a service with relatable Black content. After all, she assumed, there had to be one. For Spencer, it was also personal. At the time, she had just finished her first documentary, “Mom Interrupted,” which chronicled the loss of children from gun violence through the lens of seven mothers in the Washington DC area. It played at the Alexandria Film Festival. She was the only Black person there, she said. “I really started to see the disparity for people of color — and especially women of color — when it came to getting distribution,” Spencer said. “And so when I couldn’t find what I was looking for, a light bulb went off. I’ll start a streaming service.” Launching a streaming service in an already crowded market is difficult enough. What Spencer didn’t know at the time was just how hard it is for Black women to secure funding from venture capital firms — a struggle that highlights the gap marginalized founders face when it comes to access. “It’s not about just the water hoses” In 2015, Spencer launched kweliTV, a carefully curated collection of more than 450 streaming options that are, as the company puts it, “a true reflection of the global Black experience versus what we may sometimes see in mainstream media.” Almost a year after George Floyd’s death sparked global protests and reignited conversations about systemic racism, kweliTV’s mission -— kweli meaning “truth” in Swahili — is finding itself in an increasingly prominent position to fill a void that some dominant streaming companies have been criticized for ignoring. “White people need to be educated,” Spencer said, noting that mainstream platforms might stream “The Help” and “Green Book” among other films about Black experiences, but have been criticized for being cliché. “[Black people] already know that history, and we don’t necessarily need to see it over and over again.” Documentaries like “Negroes With Guns: Rob Williams and Black Power,” which streams on kweliTV, is just one example that illustrates how the platform better represents the Black diaspora’s experience, according to Spencer. The documentary profiles Rob Williams, a Black freedom fighter, who advocated for the Second Amendment as a means for Black people to defend themselves against violent, White mobs in the Jim Crow South. “This was a figure I had never heard of before,” Spencer said. “Again, this is about racism, but it’s really about fighting back. It’s not about just the water hoses.” The biggest challenge: funding While kweliTV continues to make progress, it still has a long way to go relative to its competition. Netflix reported it will spend more than $17 billion on original content in 2021 alone. In comparison, kweliTV has no original content to date. In its little under six years of existence, the company has relied on its own revenue, a handful of grants, two convertible notes, and a PPP loan that was used for payroll, according to Spencer. The lack of funding is not on account of a lack of effort. Spencer said she learned quickly how hard it is for Black women to secure funding. And the numbers corroborate those struggles. Black women-founded companies raised $700 million between 2018 and 2019. While that’s a significant increase from years prior, it’s still just 0.27% of the total VC investments during that time, according to research from digitalundivided, a nonprofit that promotes Black and Latinx women entrepreneurs. “It’s ridiculous that Black women don’t even get half of one percent,” Spencer said in response to that study. The problem with VC funding stems largely from a lack of diversity, according to Ivan Alo and LaDante McMillon, who founded New Age Capital, a seed stage VC firm focused on tech startups founded by Black and Latinx entrepreneurs. “The venture capital industry — it has invested a certain type of way for a very long time, and they’ve been making billions and billions of dollars,” McMillon told CNN Business. “So they have no incentive to actually start looking at any new demographics.” The lack of diversity within the VC industry itself also perpetuates that, according to McMillon. “What starts to happen is a trickle down effect of no money actually going to a Black woman founder or Latina founder or a Black man or a Latino.” The killing of George Floyd and global pressure from the Black Lives Matter movement challenged the VC industry, among others, by exposing the racial biases the Black community faces. Both McMillon and Alo noted that there’s still a lot of work to be done. “I think there was a lot of diversity theater last year, a lot of people virtue signaling,” McMillon said. “Do I believe that it substantially changed the tide? Probably not. But I do think it’s opened up just the aperture a bit about what could potentially be coming from these communities.” Despite vows to diversify portfolios, Spencer said funding still remains her toughest challenge. She did receive money from Voqal, a coalition of nonprofits based in Boulder, Colorado, where she participated in a fellowship program in 2017. “Systemic problems take systemic solutions,” Mary Coleman, Community Program Leader at Voqal, told CNN Business. “We really saw her on the forefront of leading this work and it’s come to fruition,” Coleman said. “Not only with the stories that are being told, but also the way that revenue is being generated and distributed.” More than just a streaming service While powerhouses like Netflix, Hulu, and Disney+ can afford to create and buy content, kweliTV’s lack of funding has forced it to take a different approach. Every quarter, kweliTV pays out 60% of its revenue to filmmakers on its platform. Each filmmaker’s pay is relative to their film’s performance. “We promote them all the same, and that is very different from a lot of the other platforms,” Spencer said. “When I found out about all the difficulties, I had to make a decision. Do I say, ‘OK, I guess this is what it is: streaming services are too hard. You need a lot of money to do it, and maybe I just need to find another dream.’ Or do I figure out how do I make my dream reality whether anyone writes me a check, and I decided to focus on how to make this happen.” Spencer said. “That’s where the 60% revenue share came in.” When people hear “streaming service” and “Black content” together, there are obvious parallels to the giants of the industry. Indeed, some have called kweliTV the “Black Netflix,” but Spencer disagrees with that comparison. The byproduct of its revenue sharing strategy doesn’t just lower the bar for entry, it also fosters a community that Spencer hopes makes kweliTV much more than just a streaming service. “About 90% of our filmmakers I have spoken to personally,” Spencer said. “It’s not a transactional type of thing where we have your film and that’s it. We want people to be a part of this ecosystem.” Ranking among giants Spencer’s patient demeanor and calm voice mask her underlying fiery work ethic. The founder is aided by a few part-time employees. As for full-timers, she’s been the only one for years, “I work 16, 18 hour days,” she said. Fortunately for Spencer, a recent $100,000 investment will allow the company to hire an additional full-time employee to help out. Those long days appear to be paying off for the company. Spencer says the company’s registered users jumped to around 43,000 as of May 2021, which includes non-paying users who stream the free, ad-supported kweliTV Live service. That surge marked a 111% growth in users year-over-year. Paying subscribers have the option of paying $5.99 per month or $49.99 annually. Spencer declined to comment on the number of paying subscribers and the company’s revenue. The company has also brought on Lil Rel Howery, a comedian known for his roles in “Get Out,” “Bad Trip,” and “Uncle Drew,” as its head of comedy. “It’s an added bonus to our mission of amplifying authentic, global Black stories and storytellers of African descent,” Spencer said in an email about Howery’s role. And in classic David vs. Goliath fashion, kweliTV now stands among giants. It ranked second behind only Netflix in PC Magazine’s 2021 review of the best streaming platforms for Black content. “To me it shows that there is room for this type of content that we are curating,” Spencer said while reflecting on the company’s ranking. “We have a better pulse on what the Black community is yearning for.” Source link Orbem News #Black #Media #Service #ShewastiredofseeingBlackstereotypesonTV.Soshestartedherownstreamingservice-CNN #Started #Stereotypes #Streaming #tired

[geeky-galpal]

I'm taking you up on your offer. You say that it's more difficult for Lana to succeed because she's a Latina. Ok, I agree. But here's the thing. Other (white) actresses in similar position as Lana (one successful not so good show, in their 40s...) went on to guest star, they weren't cast in lead roles. But Lana, who we agree has an even harder time, will somehow defy all odds and get a lead role again and again and again?

Hey nonnie!

Get prepared.. this turned out longer than I intended…

I agree that, looking at past examples, there are other similarly placed actresses who have not all gone on to have lead roles once their show ended for the rest of their lives. There are also actresses who went on to succeed at similar or higher heights. Some have, some haven’t– I think we can all agree that life can be a crapshoot.

I have never said Lana “will somehow defy all odds and get a lead role again and again and again”. I would appreciate it if you don’t put words in my mouth.

I can’t speak for anyone else on Tumblr as I am not on here all the time, but I have not personally seen a reasonable fan of Lana’s who has advocated for the point you are raising here. If they did, that would seem as foolish to me as the anti-fans currently trolling inboxes last night and this morning. Why? Because none of us can predict the future. Especially not in an industry as volatile as television.

Oh, and before I move on, quickly– if we are going to talk about Lana’s future career prospects, then we must acknowledge that we are all talking major long-term hypotheticals. OUAT has not been cancelled this year or next year that any of us know for fact. I will grant you that rumors/ evidence are swirling this year just as they have every past year. But, really this is all reading “tea leaves” because none of us are ABC employees who are working on current contracts. And, there has been even less outside “evidence” that Lana is independently leaving the show than the already thin evidence of the show’s cancellation.

OK, so those points out of the way…

Why do I have hopeful confidence in Lana moving forward?

1. Leading in to OUAT, Lana had a string of successful pilot pick ups. None of those turned into hit shows, but that’s the luck of the draw in Hollywood. The fact that she was hired again and again speaks to her ability to connect with show runners and casting agents. That’s key moving forward as the potential parts would become admittedly more staggered.

2. Speaking in very broad generalities, the parts that Lana is about to “age into” (especially by the time OUAT wraps in the next few years), will be what those who follow the industry call “District Attorney” aged or maternal roles. The middle-aged tough, often cold business woman (think- every detective and lawyer on Law & Order, etc, but also “Head of Surgery” type roles on hospital dramas such as Grey’s or ER) or the middle-aged mom in a teen/family soap (see- Parenthood, the Fosters, etc). The good news here? Lana’s current part in OUAT sets her up really well for both of those future career prospects. She has a body of work and experience she can point to that will play into those strengths moving forward.

3. Related to the above point, Lana has previously discussed her difficulties of being cast due to her “ambiguous” racial appearance as a white Latina. When she had long, naturally curly hair, for instance, she wouldn’t get cast in white roles. But, casting agents also didn’t feel she looked “Latina enough” for Latinx roles. What did she do? Cut off her hair, evened out her accent. She played into her own mixed race heritage, which allowed her a wider variety of options. I expect her to maneuver similarly when she’s back on the market. 

4. Evil Regals. I spoke about this a bit earlier in response to one of F3′s asks, but Lana has spent significant parts of her hiatus and social media life cultivating her fanbase. This will seem crude, but having that little social army matters. Lana Parrilla is not a household name, but she is significant in certain niche and cult markets. Building up her base solidifies her brand. Being a “brand” is as important, if not more important, than being extremely well known– especially for WOC actresses who already won’t have the same mass-market appeal. I’ve previously recommended to friends that when looking for role models for Lana’s career, don’t just look at similarly placed white women, but look at Kerry Washington and Eva Longoria. Both of whom have invested deeply in diversification of their brand early on .

Consider: Kerry’s early film career when she made majority black films and was not yet a “crossover success”, Eva Longoria’s Latinx and Chicanx activism. It was Kerry Washington who independently suggested that the cast of Scandal “live tweet” their episodes before that was even a thing yet, because she knew she had already built up a fan base of millennial black women from her movies who she could depend on for engagement. Those live tweeting sessions not only gave Scandal the bump they needed for a second season renewal, it changed the way we watch television across a variety of shows. Eva Longoria went back and got a Master’s degree in Chicano Studies while working on the set of Desperate Housewives– there are photos of her writing her thesis on set– and turned that degree, plus her earnings, into a 501©(3) advocacy organization and a production house. The advocacy organization made Longoria a respected household name for many Latinx people. That earned respect feeds trust in her production house. Which in turn has kept her in the media, and spurred 2-3 other shows.

I think that Lana has been modeling her career as a hybrid between those actresses (she’s a known friend of Longoria) and the work of say, Kate Mulgrew/ Lucy Lawless/ Jaime Murray – all three of whom are incredibly popular genre actresses who went on to have long, successful careers that carried them through their middle age. She focuses on diversifying, advocacy, and building a fan base. 

There are worse role models to have in that regard.

5. You will notice that I did *not* *mention* *talent* on this list. And there is a reason- we all know Lana is talented, but talent will only get you so far. That is also true about “quality of show” that you are currently employed on. Both of these are subjective, and honestly, matter little to networks. A casting director may want to know- can this person act? The answer will be “yes”. The network executives will want to know- can this person turn us a profit? Lana has done everything she can to prove that she can do that as well. (There’s a reason we have been seeing so much EQ in the general on-air advertisements of the show— both leading into 6A and now again during 6B. The promo people at ABC believe she is a draw, while we as fans are not privy to the “hard data”that they have, we can look at the choices that they are making objectively.)

OK Nonnie! 5 reasons and book length essay on why I have confidence for Lana Parrilla moving forward. Thanks for listening!

[lareinemarie]

Devin’s View Regarding The Dynamics of Black Women/White Men Relationships

The following is from Quora regarding the racialized dynamics of interracial relationships.

Devin Tomas studied Bachelor of Health Science at Virginia Commonwealth University (2018)

I guess it depends on what type of black woman you are referring to. For one, although there are patterns in black peoples preferences, Black women are individual people and are not a monolith and all black people don’t all act as a congregate so you will always be able to find someone who is not what is perceived. Also I’ve noticed there are differences between dating preferences of lets say Africans, Afro Latinas, Afro Caribbeans and African Americans because of different cultures and histories. Even within the same black ethnicity you have people who stray from the norm and regardless there are some who date white men of every culture but I understand you are asking in general. As an African American male who has grown up around black women and girls including my mom, aunts, sisters and love interests and current girlfriend, I have heard different reasons that I can share. This isn't to say all black women refuse to date white men as I know a few who do or at least try it, but it is true in general in my experience they don't or are hesitant to. I can honestly only give you honest answers about African American women so I will be speaking of more specifically black people who are descendants of slaves such as Afro Americans and Caribbean. So here are a few reasons I have heard:

Bad History:

Black women who are descendants of slaves have lived in America in a white male dominated society with direct and personal contact with them for centuries many times against their wills. Them being seen as both black and women, has led to a lot of oppression and dehumanization of black women at the hands of white men historically in ways that permeated the cultural norm of society sometimes so much so the attitudes are taken on by all people and men in American society including sometimes black men. During slavery besides the fact they weren’t considered human and tortured or killed, white male owners often sold the child of black women or black women themselves with complete disregard of her or her families relationships. She and her own children were merely property of white men and their households, including sometimes the very children the master may have fathered himself with the slave.

They were also frequently raped or used as concubiness as an exotic and different choice from white women white men were used to. And this was regardless of if she was married, young, committed to another man or simply uninterested in him. This is how the stereotype of the Jezebel woman came to be applied to black women. They were readily accessible to white men in ways that made them oversexualize their bodies meanwhile still seeing them as lesser.

They were also taking care of the home including the children of white women and men meanwhile she and her children are not given the same privileges, even if the master was sleeping with her. This you could say was the beginning of a lot of the beef between white women and black women as many white women resented the slaves if the husband slept with or favored them causing violence towards slaves by white women or wives. While all this happened black women couldn't defend themselves by resisting the advances of the master as she was simply his property and not human by law, which could in turn lead to violence from those same men's wives. You could see how this may have started some resentment in the minds of black women as she was supposed to fulfill the masters needs yet the master may refuse to protect her showing how little he valued her.

Even after slavery ended black women were stereotyped by white male dominated society to be seen as objects whose mere existence is to satisfy the needs of men(including sometimes black men). There were frequent rapes or coerced sexual encounters during reconstruction and the Jim Crow South(which I must point out that there are people alive today who lived through that, my own father experienced Jim crow as well as thousands if not millions more) that are very well documented that often times went unpunished. Their bodies were and still are merely seen as objects of sexual gratification meanwhile they were dehumanized and although white men could partake in their bodies, black women couldn't partake in the same privileges as white people, men and women alike, enjoyed. It was apparently a rite of passage in the south in certain areas to sleep with a black women which goes to show the lack of agency they were viewed as having as they were only seen as sexual objects. This happened so much the average African American has around 15 to 25 percent autosomal European dna which was introduced primarily via slavery. On top of that we know its almost entirely traced through a male line as about 25 to 33 percent of Y chromosomal dna(derived from y chromosome which makes men men in the womb and is passed down from solely father to son originating from one or a few male ancestor(s) of a certain region thousands of years ago. This chromosomal marker does not change regardless of how much overall autosomal DNA is inherited from somewhere else. You can be almost entirely African with mostly recent African ancestors but because one ancestor from generations ago was from Europe a man may carry the European marker on his y chromosome) of African American men is traced back to Europe meanwhile the female line through mitochondrial dna( same premise as y chromosomal dna except it is found in the mitochondria and is passed down to sons and daughters from mothers) is entirely African. This isn’t to say that all of black women and white men sexual encounters were forced or undesired, but enough of it or so much of it was that it left a permanent scar in the minds of black women in black culture even up to today. Some will argue this happened in the past and doesn't affect today, but the trauma and duration of these events lasted for so long and were so severe it affected the culture of America and shaped each different cultures identities and preferences.

A quick example of how this plays out today is a female professor i had who shared with me a story of how different cultural upbringing will put on display how different people view situations. She explained she went to the doctor because she scabbed her knee when she was a young girl and on that particular day she was wearing a dress. When she went to his office she saw her doctor was an older white male she was only a little worried at first until she sat down he flicked her dress up without her consent as if he was comfortable doing that with her. Now this seems harmless to most other people maybe and im sure the doctor didn’t have any ill intentions(or i would like to hope), but she felt uncomfortable because of how she felt men in general, but more specifically white men, viewed black women as simply easy access to sexual gratification who should not dare resist his advances.

There are tons of other reasons that fall under bad history but in short the relationships white men have showed black women over how they value them or what they value them for have historically not been the best making black women hesitant and speculative of white men's intentions when they pursue them. I think the combination of all these things over the centuries happening created an attitude of disdain towards white men from black women.

2. Cultural Differences

This is probably the biggest reason honestly anyone, not just black women, is hesitant to date outside their own culture or race and why people of all cultures or races tend to stick to their own when given the opportunity. Simply put its easier. We all like to believe love conquers all and knows no color and it sure is a cute and inspiring catch phrase that I wish was entirely true, but dating, marriage or whatever especially long term requires you to be engaged in the very personal and cultural aspects of your partners life. If those cultures clash too often it presents problems in the relationship. Unfortunately black and white culture in many aspects clash and can be polar opposites on certain issues and perceived notions white people might have about black people makes it a no go for many black people but more specifically for black women as dating someone who is doubly privileged as white and a man can potentially present a few challenges. Not to say these challenges can't be overcome but it takes work.

These cultural differences manifest themselves in seemingly minute ways or micro aggressions but they are enough to make a relationship end, I’ve even experienced this as black man myself and have seen it over and over again in relationships where people didn’t address the cultural differences before getting in a relationship. As black people, we generally view our race as deeply ingrained in our experience and culture because of how we are treated in society because of it. From our politics all the way down to our music race is a part of our existence. As a white male, racial issues are not something you may have to deal with or think about as much as a black person let alone a black woman. There are certain things she may be passionate or sensitive to as both a woman and black person that white men might think is either completely wrong or not a big deal. Shoot as a black man there are things i have to be mindful of as the only difference being a man i can't imagine being both white and a man. The relationships I’ve seen work long term between white men and black women the white man was usually sensitive to race issues or grew up around black people making him cognitive of what is acceptable. If not however most black women will run for the hills. Or I have noticed the black girl may for whatever reason have grown up around non black or white people and take on their culture and beliefs making the racial divide easier to get over. However both of these are the exception. The differences can be anything from how hair is perceived, what kind of music you listen to, politics, spirituality, your extended family and the age old debate of who can or cant say the N word. I know shocking right? Small things such as what is presentable hair? Does braided hair look “ghetto” or not “presentable” to the white partner? When the black girlfriend experiences racism or feels uncomfortable because of something that happened to her will he try to understand or will he shrug it off and tell her to stop bringing race into everything? When she decides to change her hair a certain way that doesn't fit the white beauty standard will he make a negative or positive comment about it? Does he know you do not touch black people especially not black women's hair? All of these can be major issues in relationships with black people in general but especially for women.

In short though it falls down to this. Other races of men but especially white men may struggle with understanding them. I even feel this way as a black man towards other races of women. Other races of people might be able to sympathize with you but they can not empathize. Another race of men may be able to feel pity or sorrow for a black woman but may not be able to empathize because they do not have the experience of growing up with black moms sisters or friends on a personal level making them unsure of what to do when racial conflicts arise. This is ultimately a turn off for many black people men and women as again race is deeply ingrained in our experience.

3. Fear

Another reason which I’ve heard from many black women is that they simply fear that white men may never understand them or make the effort to try to. Or that they simply don't value them enough outside of a fetish or booty call. There is something scary physically and emotionally about letting your guard down to someone who has been apart of a group of people that for the most part have historically seen you as lesser. All it takes is for a black girl to hear one somewhat racially charged statement about black people from a white guy and she could be turned off to them completely. There is also fear that the white partners extended family or parents might not approve of your relationship or even that her family won’t approve( you would be surprised a lot of black people are actually against their child bringing a white person home but more specifically for a black women to do so it seems for some reason) And I’m sure we've all heard the stereotype of how black women are supposedly the least desired woman in America and no one wants them. So there is also the idea that white men simply aren't attracted to black women so there is no point in entertaining the idea.

4. Simply Not Attracted

As I previously mentioned most people tend to want to settle down with or are more attracted to people who have a lot in common with them. The vast majority of black women i know are mostly attracted to black men and the same goes for black men( contrary to popular belief). I grew up seeing women like Nia Long, Brandy, and Meghan Good on movies i enjoyed as well as being around black women a lot in my life so i am attracted to black girls mostly. I think the same goes for black women as they grow up seeing a lot of black artists or movie stars that are more so a reflection of them or look like their fathers or brothers or other men in their circle. They look up to who look more like them so they tend to be attracted to them. I have also heard a lot of black women want children that are black and look like them. I think black women tend to like darker skinned people with black features as well. These are things such as dark skin, big lips, curly hair etc. I remember when i was really young it seemed like light skinned was seen as attractive in both black guys and girls but as i age i see more and more black people trying to practice what we call “self love” or “black love” with us embracing darker skinned people in our communities who are often times neglected or seen as lesser. So i think there is a desire now to really want to be with people who are black that have somewhat of a similar culture to them which is why they don’t date white guys per say. I will say the black girls I've seen date other races of people the men tended to be either darker than white such as Latino or Asian or someone who was somewhat exposed to black culture.

On the flip side, most white men I know also prefer women within their own race and when they venture outside their race tend to choose Asian or Hispanic/Latina women. With that being said, I think it is safe to say most white men don't think of black women first in general when they think about dating interracially. I think a lot of white males preferences in body type differs from black women as well. It seems to me in white culture and many non black cultures women are supposed to be small quiet and petite or tight. This is why a lot of white men like Asian women because they are seen as all of those things. Black women are seen as curvy thick , outspoken and voluptuous. All of these are stereotypes of course but its the stereotypical image people have in their heads unfortunately. Of course there are white men who are attracted to black women as you can find attractive women of any race, but i think the average white man will chose an attractive Asian woman over an attractive Black woman. I think a lot of this has to do with simple preferences and also part of it has to do with I know a lot of white men who believe stereotypes about black people women included, so they never entertain the idea unless a black woman pursues them.

On another note, in 2018 in America there are still very racist people around in ever gender, culture and even age group. Many white people I know simply are not comfortable with dealing with all the stares and shame they may get from their relatives or other white people in society so they tend not to date outside their race on average. This is especially true for bringing home black people as again often times our cultures clash with white culture and this can lead to excommunication from the white family. I know plenty of interracial marriages or relationships which involved a black partner( and this isn’t exclusive to white people btw this includes Asians, Hispanics etc) where once the family found out about the relationship the practically cut off all ties with the white person and all though i know that shouldn't happen the reality is most people don't want to be separated from their family. Unfortunately our society sees black people as very negative in many aspects so bring a black person home can strike up various feelings and emotions in non black families especially those that don't have a lot of experience or exposure to black people outside media. Now this isn't to say if a very attractive black woman approaches him he won't entertain the idea, but in general I think most white people are hesitant to date a black person whether they want to openly admit it or not.

I will say though i know plenty of white people men and women, who are attracted to black people, but they would never get into a long term relationship with a black person especially if it means bringing them home. For instance maybe when they are away for college or going on a trip away from the family. Most people can say they are attracted to people of other cultures and races either physically or socially, but the attraction is not the only thing that influences dating and marriage choices. When in college I knew of plenty of white men and women who slept with black people but the vast majority of them would not date them out in the open or commit themselves to a long-term relationship. There is stigma with them dating black people just like there is a stigma for black people dating white people. They may run the risk of being called a “n***er lover” or a “mudshark” or “damaged goods”. I’ve had white women approach me sexually plenty of times in college but when i saw her out and about she would act like she didn't know me. I think the same is true conversely for black women in many cases. And if you are a black person who knows this you may not want to even entertain someone who doesn’t want to be seen out in public with you so why even entertain the idea. Now again, there are obviously acceptions and there are people who couple up who are of different races. But as i mentioned this is what i have noticed for myself and from other black women.

All of these are reasons I’ve heard black women typically don't date white men. A lot of it is fear and pride from both sides but a lot of it is they simply aren't attracted and to be honest, there is nothing wrong with that. I prefer black girls and have my reasons I could never see myself dating a white woman and black women have their reasons for not preferring white men. But I think if the white male is sensitive enough to listen and try to understand her or learn and realize there are certain things he needs to understand about who she as a black woman and what is and isn't okay, the relationship will be fine and more black women would be open to the idea.

[craftrva-blog]

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Ballet...

Written by: Jo Ann L. Breaux

What would seem like a typical interview for CRAFT RVA actually became an instant karmic connection. It is one of the reasons that CRAFT has been on hiatus, but I thought it appropriate to explain myself to my very supportive readers and I thought what a way to get back in the game. 

Let me start by saying that dance for me is an art form and craft I've always been affected by. It is probably the only one that can stir emotional expression so deeply and sincerely. Yes, I am that person who thinks Travis Wall and Sonya Tayeh are choreography gods. So, to say the least I sort of love dance and yes I will, with reckless abandon, dance in my living room. I had no idea I would be submersed into its very world by coming to the aid of a computer challenged technicality. I'm proud to say that I hold a title here at Latin Ballet and yes, I know I'm writing a biased piece, I would like to think I am being subjective with my internal experience.

I speak horrible Spanish. I barely know my Panamanian history. I was never really exposed to that side of my culture besides the incoherent Spanish ramblings of my mother's foreign tongue or the occasional traditional Latin meal or story. I never really understood what my mom went through when she came here in the 70s. I didn't understand how disoriented she must have felt going from the lush jungle and mountains to the humid, flat Deep South. I blocked out all the times she was made fun of for her accent or called certain things for her tanned skin. I was angered how men leered at her in the grocery store, but was just a small child and unable to do anything about it. It wasn't well into my teen years I found my ethnic identity and really comprehended why mom never taught me Spanish or anything about my Panamanian background and learned I was never Latina enough, Asian enough, or white enough to be able to figure out the capacity of my genetic makeup. Which is why, this whole connection with Latin Ballet has been some kind of racial cosmic connection.

I can go on and on about Founder and Artistic Director of Latin Ballet of Virginia, Ana Ines King and her credentials and awards. It would take more room than I've got here. I'd rather concentrate on Ana as an artistic role model and as a native of Bucaramanga, Colombia. It is important to note that Ana's mother was a dancer and she was the one who taught her the art of Flamenco. Her sister. Rosana is also an accomplished dancer, Ana being the Queen of the East while her sister resides in the West, both educators and choreographers. To say this little mouse of a woman is passionate is an understatement. This woman who founded Latin Ballet of Virginia with an idea sprung from an experience her daughter, Melody had when coming to America, has worked relentlessly to implement and engage cultural understanding through dance for 20 years!

Ana's story is similar to my mother's. The likeness between them is uncanny, the way they speak, the way they explain things, and mostly the fervor of determination. Ana sees something she wants and then she makes it a reality, through sheer belief. She's fiery, she's enthusiastic, and she's bold. She does not take "no" for an answer and it is through that she knows nothing to be impossible. Ana came to America just as my mom had, simply put, she fell in love with an American, married, and came to the United States. What isn't easy to understand is the assimilation process. I was lucky, I didn't have to partake in that part because I was very young coming here from Panama, where as Melody was almost a teenager when they arrived in Virginia.  Now, as I'm writing this, I discovered that when I came to Richmond, I was a pre-teen, I had been raised in Cajun country for most my life. Coming to Richmond was incredibly difficult for me. I was extremely shy and people made fun of my accent and my clothes. I was a fish out of water for sure. So, when Ana was telling the story of her daughter's experience, I was not only recalling my mother's, but also my own. Ana's daughter also lost confidence in herself, she didn't speak and she became quite depressed upon arriving here.

For any American who travels abroad, it is difficult to really delve into the language and culture of some countries you visit. We as Americans travel swiftly, usually taking in 3-5 countries in our two week vacation allowance. There's not really time to learn anything. You take a gondola ride and eat pizza in Napoli, you say "Hola" in Spain while drinking Sangria on the beach, you take some photos in front of the Eiffel Tower while eating some cheese and before you know it, you're back on American soil never having learned the language or spending a good amount of time partaking in the culture.

For Ana, if was her husband's family who gave her the hugs she needed, the warmth that comes from being Latin, to feel comfortable and accepted. For Melody, starting in a new school wasn't so easy. There are no open windows in the schools here in the States, but in places like Panama, Colombia and Costa Rica, the schools are open to nature, you can hear the birds sing, a monkey or two pass by and the sun shining it's beams inside while you are learning. It was a very different "institutional" environment here for her and for someone coming from such topographically beautiful lands, it can be a hard place to adjust. It is quite difficult to feel like you belong or that you are connected to anyone when you've been plopped into a whole different culture. Ana, although hard, was willing to let her go back to her native Colombia and finish out the rest of her school, but it was a simple demonstrative assignment of teaching her classmates Salsa and cumbias that would not only bring Melody out of her shell, but would also spark the conception for Latin Ballet. Ana would soon realize that dance could help these kids identify and feel proud of where they come from. She could teach them English through dance and help them become more confident in speaking and interacting with their American peers and so Ana, would find her mission.

Despite being 20 years established, a lot of people have different notions of what Latin Ballet does. LBV is made of three solid branches on a very colorful tree. Ana not only has implemented successful award-winning educational programming and residencies including the "Be Proud of Yourself" program and the Arts in Education Summer Camps in our Richmond, VA community, but LBV is also made up of a Professional and Junior Company which perform throughout the year, sometimes touring outside the state. If that's not enough, LBV teaches students in Flamenco, Salsa, Ballet, Hip Hop and Contemporary dance techniques four days a week for 16 week semesters. What's beautiful about what LBV does, is it creates an environment where children from different backgrounds and countries can feel confident and safe, yet also gives exposure to those kids who are not always in a gentrified group. In other words, White children are learning about Spanish and Latin language, history, culture, and folklore and they are learning it directly from the source as well as helping these students who don't know English very well, language skills they need in their new home. When you walk into an LBV studio, you see a medley of children from all different races and backgrounds. When they are dancing together, they are one. Ana is a big believer in everyone feeling good and confident about who they are. She embraces all her "children", including her adult instructors and dancers, some of whom have been with her since they were as young as 3 years old. The programs she has brought to many low-income schools and communities has brought exposure to the arts to children otherwise oblivious to this world. Sponsors of Latin Ballet contribute to scholarships given to a lot of high-risk/low-income children, giving them the ability to learn to dance and perform.

Ana and her Professional Company of dancers perform at many charitable events and it is no secret that Ana does it out of pure love. If she wasn't dancing, I think she'd be six feet in and even then, I think the soil would kick up around her. Most of LBV's productions are folklore and myth based. She takes a lot of stories from Hispanic and Latin culture and tells these stories through passionate dance theater performances. Often times, they will showcase many dance forms and she has been known to bring guest artists from Spain and elsewhere to share the stage with them. LBV has quite a spectrum of ethnic backgrounds within the Professional Company itself including Cuban, Puerto Rican, and Italian, all from different dance backgrounds and lifestyles. I think it gives the entire feel a zest not found in most dance companies. When people see an LBV show they leave invigorated and spirited. There's a lot of heart on and off stage.

When foreigners come to this country it is to seek a better life, a better opportunity. It is not only to contribute to their families who don't have the monetary means, but it is also to give to American society. Without Hispanic culture in this country, Texas may not have won their independence, more than half of the street names in America would not exist, you wouldn't know what a taco was, and a lot of white people would not be dancing Salsa at the club. What makes Latin Ballet of Virginia so special is that it is inclusive. It brings something unique to the stage and it gives back to our community by providing education through dance. I've been to Henderson High School. I have seen what dance has done for these kids. It put a huge smile on my face when they proudly show me what they've learned through our residency and yes, they were good, one teen actually choreographed her own routine. It is this type of learning that influences kids to become better people.

This weekend LBV is re-staging the production of "Nuyorican" which tells the stories of real experiences of Puerto Ricans who migrated to New York after WWII and the shaping of a culture in a foreign land where they faced discrimination and oppression. It also touches on the challenges of their offspring, born American, but caught between a cultural war of identity. It's a relevant piece, significantly in current times. Strangers in a strange land. I'm very proud to be a part of LBV. Not only do I get to be around dance, but I also get to understand where I come from more and it has become my little family, my hands flying, fast talking, Spanish speaking, vibrant familia.

For all those interested in learning dance from Latin Ballet (yes, even you adults) visit their website.