#but regardless. tam is an excellent character to project on and process things through

[bookwyrminspiration]

so about the headcanon that Tam Song has depression and/or anxiety, what are some opinions you have about the symptoms that he would experience, and how he would handle it? my boy has social anxiety and needs Linh to order his food at restaurants, change my mind. (but really, as somebody with severe depression and anxiety, and Tam as a comfort character, this headcanon means a lot to me)

I love those headcanons! It's both satisfying and cathartic to see characters dealing with similar issues/situations/feelings that you do, among other things. That being said, here are some of my thoughts on what symptoms and coping mechanisms Tam might have!

the cuffs of his shirts are always a little more worn than everything else because he bites on them when he's nervous

he bites his shirts because he used to bite his lip a lot but he's trying to be better about that one and find another outlet

when he gets really anxious, he'll start to get lightheaded, bordering on vertigo, and needs to take a moment to reorient himself and breath through it

time seems to slip by him sometimes, hours, days, weeks passing in a haze, and during those hazes he doesn't really talk to anyone. not intentionally, it just doesn't happen. one day turns into two turns into two weeks of missed hails and unread messages.

his rooms gets messy, even though he doesn't have a lot of things. items slip out of place and he just gets rid of things so he doesn't have to deal with them.

that part is something friends help him deal with, though not many people are allowed in his space. when he goes awol for a while someone will drop by to check on him, to open the curtains and put on a happier playlist and help him straighten things up.

he's always judgemental and quick to snap back at people because he's trying to hide how vulnerable and exposed he feels in group settings, and sometimes afterwards he regrets some of the things that he said

when working with his ability he's almost always dealing with thoughts telling him he'll never be good enough. that he's not strong enough, that his ability makes him less.

he tries not to say it, but it's written on his face. when they were kids, Linh made him a little bracelet with letter beads that spell "worthy," and he's always kept it as a reminder against those thoughts. over the years he's made himself more bracelets because the reminders do help, things like "enough" and "valued"

both a combination of insomnia and overwhelming nerves can keep him up sometimes, for a variety of reasons. maybe his heart is beating too loud or he can hear too many sounds at once, sometimes sleep is just a lot harder.

those nights, he has a playlist he listens to of quiet songs to try and at least keep him calmer. he doesn't put more remorseful or sad songs on the playlist, because he learned the hard way that's way more likely to send him into late night everyone hates me and nothing matters thoughts, which he wants to avoid

when he gets anxious he starts to tap things, unique patterns with his fingers over and over again to give him something to do with the incessant energy his mind is throwing at him. sometimes he focusing on regulating himself so hard he stops processing everything else, stops bearing conversation and stops responding, but he'll try to play it off if people notice

talking to people always wears him out a little even if he likes the person because he's so high-strung, constantly waiting for the catch. Just like when he spoke to Mr. Forkle, he's always running through worst case scenarios in his head and bracing himself for the most far-fetched

he's not 100% adapted to dealing with everything and has some hard days, but he is legitimately trying to get better about it and making progress

this is more of an informal format than I usually take to answering asks, so if you'd want me to go through and be more methodic and connect things to canon, I'd be more than happy to do so! but until then these are some of the thoughts I first had when you broached the subject. I love him very dearly <3