#but thats a conversation for anither day :)

[nosygay]

casually flexing my polyglot status by having my autocorrect set to multiple languages so that the ai gets confused and leaves ambiguous misspellings in my posts

(post sponsored by the word actúa as if I would use it ever pls)

[milkacchan]

Fav boys thinking S/O reader has a kid bc they misunderstood a conversation with friends or on the phone but in reality they were talking about their pet

Bc i talk to my dog like he's a small child and care for him like one and its caused confusion

Bakugou:

• he's just chillin

• youre in another room of the dorms

• You're within the ear shot

• and your phone rings

• he doesn't really think anything of it but he can't help but eavesdrop when youre on the phone

• nothing alarming until

• "How's my son?"

• and he freezes

• he feels himself pale but he keeps listening

• "I miss him so much, I didn't know it was going to be this hard to be away from him," you groan. "I just want to see him and boop his nose and coddle him."

• Jesus christ

• "he's getting chubby though, thats good, he was so tiny when he was born. So much loose skin-"

• Ngl his stomach kinda drops

• You have a kid??

• How did this happen- WHEN did it happen?

• It couldn't have-

• oh it very well could

• You disappeared for your 2nd year in UA- it could've happened then-

• and you didn't tell him.

• Not when he was your best friend and not when he was your boyfriend

• He feels betrayed- he feels gross-

• he has a right to at least KNOW of the child's existence- I mean he knew it wasn't his, but still.

• And so for the next days he's really weird.

• he tries to he normal with you, text when he can, hug you goodbye, just continue like things were

• but he just couldn't.

• And he dreads when you confront him about it- he knew you would, you've always been like that

• "You have a kid!" He snaps. "You left during second year, didn't tell anyone about it and then you came back- and you didn't tell me. I wouldn't have been mad! I wouldn't have pushed you away, I-"

"Katsuki what the FUCK are you talking about?"

"You. Have. A. Child."

"Source?"

"When you were on the phone with your mom?"

You paused for a moment. "Jesus Christ Kat, I was talking about my puppy. I got a dog while I was traveling ABROAD during my SECOND year, with my COUSIN. I helped deliver him because I was interning at a vet. He was the runt and they thought he was gonna die. So I stayed an extra two weeks and I brought him home."

He clenched his jaw. "God damn."

"Katsuki, I tell you everything. I wouldn't hide that from you. Besides," you made a face, "i'm too scared to have sex with you, because sex is scary. Why the fuck would I have it with anyone else?"

"I dunno." He mumbled.

• You take him to see your dog, obviously

Kirishima:

• he isn't even entirely sure what you were doing

• all he knows is that you're cooing into the phone held against you ear

• "Hey baby, its me! You miss momma?"

• Momma.

• bro- he just kinda zones out.

• his mind immediately going to the fact that you might have a child- not might- you do

• I mean how else could you explain that?

• he didn't even stop to think WHEN you could've had a child. He just jumped right in.

• He wasn't mad- how could he be?

• it wasn't wrong for you to have a kid.

• maybe you should've told him but you could've been scared.

• afraid he might leave you

• he wouldn't leave you, God no.

• he loved you and it was going to stay to help you

• I mean, he doesn't want you to go through this alone.

• You guys are what, just barley 18? You already have a kid, thats gotta be tough.

• So he makes the decision, instead of being upset or hurt that you didn't tell him, he's just going to step in and see if you'd like help.

• He won't push to meet the kid, thats up to you. Introducing kids to partners before its really serious doesn't always go over too well.

• he plans what he's going to say in his head, goes over it twice and nids to himself.

• that all goes out the window when you sit on the couch again

• "You have a kid?" He blurts and mentally kicks himself afterwards.

"I'm sorry what?"

"It's okay, I'm not mad, really," he put his hands up, "It's hard to tell someone about it. You can trust me with stuff, even things like that. I won't use it against you or get mad- I'll even help out if you need. Sure its not mine but it really doesn't need to me-"

"Eiji, baby, shut the fuck up for a second."

He closes his mouth, stopping his ramble.

"What are you talking about?"

"On the phone, you were talking. To your kid right? You said 'it's momma,' and-"

"Babe I was talking to my dog. I haven't seen her in two months and she recognizes my voice over the phone. I talk to her most nights before bed. We just had to do it earlier today."

• He feels his face flush.

• Jesus christ.

• you're cackling.

• he doesn't think its that funny

• he profusely apologizes for thinking you had a kid, implying that you did /things/ with anither person

• Obviously you take him to meet your dog because what kind of mother would you be if you didn't?

Deku:

• Dekus the kind of guy that would definitely take a few days to himself if he found that out.

• You've got a 50 50 chance of him staying

• He doesn't like it when people lie to begin with, it makes him feel weird

• So for him to find out you have a whole ass /child/ that he didn't know about?

• he's pissed. And sad. And confused. Because when the fuck did you have it??

• You'd think with all the analyzing he did, he'd be able to pick up maybe you were talking about a pet or something??

• Wrong. His emotions take over and he's just gone

• and once you get off the phone you're like?? Zuku? Baby where'd you go???

• 3 days.

• 3 Days he ignores your texts, calls, approaches before you get tired of it

• during those 3 days, well- day 3 more like, he goes to his friends

• like fuck i have a problem

• and theyre like ?????

• "So um- they have a kid."

"They what??????"

"Y/n has a kid. I heard them talking over the phone."

"Do you think maybe you mught've misunderstood? I mean when yould they even have had time to have one?"

"I don't know! But they didn't tell me! What am I supposed to do?"

"First off," todoroki begins, "what did they say that led you to believe they have a child?"

"Well, they were like, he's my son- not yours, and then they were like, he's growing out of his clothes, and but that his feet were still tiny-"

"Did they use a name?"

"Yeah, well, a nickname I guess, stubby? I think it was?"

"Midoryia that's their dog. They have a dog who likes to wear sweaters. Since he's a puppy " Todoroki sits up. "She refers to her dog as her son.

"I thought they only had a bird," he dropped his head to the table and whined.”They only told me about their bird,” 

"Good luck fixing that."

• He brings you flowers.

• and chocolate

• to your dorm

• and when you answer you look very displeased.

• you just kind of eye him, waiting for him to speak.

• "Angel," he begins, "I'm sorry. I- I jumped to a conclusion."

"And what conclusion was that."

"That you had a kid." He mumbled. "When you were talking about your dog."

"You dumb fuck, we haven't even had sex yet. Who else would I be with? When would I even have had time to make a human being?"

"I know. I'm sorry."

• He wants to meet the dog.

• You make him wait.

• HOWEVER

• You do show him pictures.

Sero:

• He's high off his ass bro.

• fuckin zoinked

• you take a phone call in which you clearly mention dog features but he only seems to catch baby, princess, daughter, small toes, and chubby

• N he's like sweet you have a daughter,

• and then he forgets about it, too caught up with staring at something on the ceiling

• a bug he thinks

• and then he starts laughing because he thinks the word bug is funny lmao

• and when you get off the phone he leans his head against you

• and like 10 minutes later he remembers as he's kissing your neck

• "oh, so you have a daughter? How old is she?" He's so nonchalant too lmao

"Baby what?"

"You have a daughter, right? You were talking about her over the phone. She has small toes. How old is she?"

"Sero, you're gone," you smile, ruffling his hair.

"What? Did I do something? I don’t want to leave,” He frowns. 

"I’m not making you leave babe. I don't have a daughter. I have a puppy named bubbles, but I call her princess. She's a teacup."

"Oh that's so cute,"

• its just amazing that he wasn't conflicted by the possibility that you may have had a daughter

• maybe its because he's high

• maybe he just really doesn't fucking care

• either way he vibed with the idea

• and then was like oh cool can I see a picture of your dog then

• and then fell the fuck asleep when the high started to wear off

• boy what a day