#but the guilt would be worse if things go south and we sign a lease

[phantomluck]

having to tell your partner that you can't move in together because actually you feel trapped and it might ruin the entire relationship is a total vibe killer tbh

[blessyourheartdharps]

Fried Dough and Half Truths || Dani&Rachel

Who: Dani Harper & Rachel Berry @broadwayberryforever

When: Thursday, 7/26/18 - after 9 am

Where: Rachel’s Hotel Room

What: Dani and Rachel catch up over beignets

Notes: there’s a lot of implied things (depression, abuse, etc), mentions of alcohol/drinking

Dani was more playing with the beignet in her hand than actually eating it. In truth, she'd barely touched most of her food, having forgotten how much effort eating breakfast was when she was tired. Pulling apart the fried dough she stuffed a piece in her mouth, hoping the conversation that was coming was going to be less draining than the one she had with Santana the day before. "So, you want answers, yeah?"

Rachel looked up from her own beignet--her second--and the knife she was using to spread a generous layer of strawberry jam across to top of it. She rolled her lips over her teeth, Dani's phrasing reminding her of the truth she still owed several people, then nodded. "Yes." She put her knife aside, then tore a chunk of her own beignet. "Starting with why you left."

Dani nodded a bit, sighing. She'd been expecting this, so why was it always hard? It's not like she was having to talk about Angela, like she had with Santana. "I took Santana breaking up with me harder than I thought I would. Something about it made me realize I'd lost myself. It made me mad, that I'd gotten so bent out of shape over something like that. I'd never been that girl. So, I decided to head south. I didn't tell anyone because I didn't want people trying to talk me out of it. It's why I changed my number, it's why I abandoned my social media, all of it. I just needed to get away. I needed to slow down and being down south, being out in the middle of bumfuck, nowhere, I got what I wanted." She shrugged, tearing off another bite of her beignet.

Rachel pieced her torn chunk back into place, then licked a spot of jam from the side of her finger. She'd felt much the same way over the last few weeks and if she hadn't had work or Quinn or Jesse to keep her here, she might have done the same. Taking a deep breath, she plucked her torn mouthful free again and brought it to her mouth, pausing long enough to ask, "No regrets?" before popping it between her lips.

Dani sighed at Rachel's question, shrugging a bit. Did she have regrets about it? She'd left the city, swearing to herself that she didn't. That she was doing what needed doing, that being alone was easier than keeping her friends and working through what she felt with their help. There were regrets, about Mississippi, about the people she'd hurt, the things that happened, but they all linked together. "I don't know. I did what I thought I needed to at the time and looking back... the regrets I have don't exactly fit a time period anymore."

Rachel nodded, tearing off another piece of beignet as she stared at the table containing the remains of their breakfast. "Regrets are like that." She said softly before she looked up at Dani. "Was it worth it? Did you find yourself?"

Dani looked down as Rachel asked her question. She'd been so sure of herself before yesterday, before Santana. Now, she didn't know. She wanted to say she did, that she found herself, that it was worth it. But was four years of regrets drowned at the bottom of bottles really worth what she found? "I found myself." She stuffed the rest of the beignet in her mouth to keep herself from saying something else, as if her silence didn't speak volumes.

Rachel washed down her mouthful of jam covered doughnut with a gulp of orange juice before tearing the remaining beignet in half, one part put aside as she picked up her knife to slather the exposed interior with more jam and a slice of the remaining cheese. "And who are you now?" she asked as she settled back in her seat.

Dani shrugged, thinking for a moment. She was a woman who had fallen in love with a devil named after an angel. Let herself been torn apart. Always just drunk enough to believe what was told her. But she was also a woman who took a stand for herself on the edge of self destruction and chose not to see the way blood could still pour from her body when she wanted it to. Chose to fight back against the force that had drove her there. Chose to leave when everything in her still wanted her to stay, as if loving someone else was worth learning to unlove herself. How did one put that into words? Put into words the pain it took. The process of finding oneself just to lose it again, and then once again be found. "Someone who knows that even the sweetest of people are sometimes the cruelest and that nothing is worth hating yourself, but especially not love."

Rachel cocked an eyebrow at Dani's reply. She hadn't been expecting anything that deep or that dark or that begged for so many more questions to be asked. She also couldn't help but feel a connection to Dani's answer that caused her to look down at the table again after only a moment. Her lips rolled over her teeth again before parting with a faint *pop*. "... I'm sorry you went through that alone..."

Dani shook her head, a dark chuckle falling from her lips. "You don't learn a lesson like that alone, hun. I'd have been better off on my own." Ever since her conversation with Santana, she wanted so badly to talk about, even as much as she didn't. She wanted to yell and scream and be angry over how stupid she felt she had been. She wanted to be angry about the fact she still couldn't sleep alone. That she woke up in cold sweats, terrified she'd never made it out of Mississippi. Her muscles tensed and she breathed out slowly, eyes closing for a moment. "Sometimes to find yourself you have to lose even more."

Rachel nodded. That's what she was afraid of most, of losing more than she already had. Losing any chance of her and Jesse maintaining any sort of relationship, or at least a cordial one. Losing Quinn. Losing her friends, her job, her career. The only thing she knew she was going to gain from all of this was a baby and even that... Rachel shook the thought off, the remains of her beignet tossed haphazardly onto her empty plate as she shifted in her seat, arms tucked tight around her waist. "I won't accept that."

Dani watched Rachel's reaction, head tilting in confusion, an eyebrow raised. None of it made sense, given the conversation. Even with how exhausted she was, Dani could tell something was wrong. "Won't accept what? Cause I feel like you're havin' a conversation in that head of yours that doesn't entirely have to do with me." She sighed. "Not that it's my place or anythin' but if you wanna talk about whatever's eatin you..."

Rachel wanted to say yes, to tell Dani everything that had been building up inside her for weeks, months even. And unlike everyone else in her life, Dani was safe. Rachel had gone years without Dani, she could survive losing her now. But what she couldn't survive was the guilt of knowing that she'd told Dani before she'd told Jesse or Quinn or her Fathers or even Santana. Shelby had been an exception born out of desperation and panic but one that could, hopefully, but understood once the truth got out, once the people she should be telling found out they weren't the first to be told, or even the second. But Dani- Rachel shook her head. "It's nothing." A smile forced her lips apart. "Just the actress in me getting riled up. You know me and drama." A too sharp laugh briefly bubbled from Rachel's throat before she drowned it with another mouthful of juice. "So," She said, not quite looking at Dani as she spoke, "speaking of your place, have you found one yet?"

Dani simply nodded, not really surprised at the way Rachel reacted. She'd been gone, they didn't know each other like that, and Dani certainly wasn't going to push the matter. If it meant anything, it'd come around again, provided this didn't end in disaster, which, Dani still wasn't sure it wouldn't. She wasn't sure of much anymore. "I have not. Abel and I have plans to go looking here soon, but between him just getting back in Tuesday and the slight chaos I've inflicted on myself since he got back... we haven't exactly found the time. It's hard finding places in the middle of the year, since most people sign year long leases. Worse comes to worst, and the whole couch living thing starts to bug me, I take Hunter up on his offer of his spare room."

Rachel tilted her head to the side as she tried to tie the name to a face. Abel... Abel... oh, yes. From online. A small shot of irrational jealousy shot through Rachel as she made the connection; Dani had been away for years and the person she asks to help her house hunt was some complete stranger. But as soon as the emotion hit, it was gone and Rachel could understand why Dani had sought out someone less connected to her past, or at least to Santana. Wasn't that the same reason she'd been so tempted to tell Dani about everything? "Wait-" Rachel's head jerked upright as her ears called her out of her thoughts. "Hunter? As in Smythe's Hunter?"

Dani raised an eyebrow at Rachel's response. They then knitted together. Was that his boyfriend's last name? She'd been so caught up in her own drama that she'd lost track of his life, which she made a mental note to catch up when he got back from Europe. "Currently gallivanting around Europe with his boyfriend?"

Rachel sighed, nodding her head. "That would be the one." She looked around her hotel room, knowing even as she did that she couldn't offer Dani an alternative even if she thought the other woman might accept one if she could. Sooner or later she'd have to move on herself; she was not going to raise her baby in a hotel. Rachel shook her head, another, heavier sigh escaping before she turned back to Dani. "How do you know him?"

Dani nodded. She really did need to connect the dots more, cause it was far more obvious and she hadn't connected the dots. Sure, she'd been in sparse contact with Hunter recently, before she left Mississippi, but she'd grown tired of hearing him mention needing to leave Angela. It's why she'd asked Abel and not Hunter for a place to live, despite everything going on in Abel's life. "Met him down in Mississippi. We've been friends since. Even when he said things I wanted no part in hearin, over and over again."

Rachel let out a short snort of laughter, followed almost immediately by an apology as she slapped a hand over her mouth. "Sorry it's just-" Rachel lowered her hand to her chin, "-I feel the same way about Smythe." Rachel cocked her head to the side, then added, "Except for the being friends portion. I'm not surprised you weren't introduced to him."

Dani shook her head, laughing a bit. "Totally fine, dear." She shrugged. "I was... preoccupied with personal things up until I left Mississippi, I'm sure he would have if I hadn't started distancing myself from him. He didn't even know I left Mississippi til I'd gotten back to New York. Didn't know I finally did what he'd been tellin me to for years. Think I'm lucky he stuck around as my friend through all that, honestly." Dani hated it. He'd had such an I told you so attitude about it, but he'd also been kind. He recognized that she had struggled because it really was easier said than done. At the end of the day she was thankful for his friendship and his stubborn ways. She just needed to get around to making it up to him, at least a little.

Rachel gave Dani a small, self-conscious smile. Between the significant pause and the vague phrasing, Rachel guessed they were skirting closer to the real reason Dani had come back, the sweetest of people who could be the cruelest, as Dani had put it and while Rachel felt that this was the sort of thing a friend should as about, and wanted to ask about, she also knew that she wasn't in the best position to start prying to other peoples secrets. "It's always nice to have someone you can count on." She said instead, her smile growing a hair for a few seconds before fading to half strength.

Dani nodded a bit, finally relaxing into the chair. She was glad Rachel hadn't pried, just because she wasn't sure she could have handled it. It was bad enough Santana knew about Angela, knew just how much she'd damaged her. Rachel didn't need to know that. Didn't need to know the way Dani had drowned parts of herself at the bottoms of bottles, that she'd lost so much more of herself in Mississippi and when she found herself again, she wasn't who she ever thought she would be. "Yeah, I'm lucky to have people like him and Abel, they kept me going, especially..." She rubbed the back of her neck nervously. Why did she getting so close to mentioning Angela? What did she think she'd accomplish by trying to talk about her? All she ever did was skirt the subject, mentioning bits and pieces, even when she didn't want to talk about it, she never wanted to talk about. Not with Abel, only sometimes with Hunter, and never with anyone else. Santana had forced her hand, the consequences Dani had to pay for drunk texting her. Trying to skirt the subject, talk of it without talking of it wasn't helping anything, yet she did it anyway.

Rachel flexed her jaw. There it was again, that significant pause. She pulled at her bottom lip, internally debating a second time whether she should ask or not. In the end she decided not to and forced herself to follow her decision by grabbing her discarded beignet pieces from her plate and stuffing one of them into her mouth.

Dani sighed, grabbing another beignet from the plate she'd brought. Her eyes wandered the room. When she'd been sent the address for a hotel, she'd been confused. It didn't really make sense to her. However, she didn't feel it right to ask. For all the she knew Rachel just did it for certain shows, even if it definitely looked like Rachel was living there. "Y'know, I usually make a bourbon caramel sauce to go with these and I seriously think I forgot what they tasted like plain." She couldn't handle the silence and she figured the easiest way to not keep accidentally half bringing up Angela was to change the subject completely.

Rachel bobbed her head in a semblance of a nod, not really agreeing with Dani's statement--though the mention of caramel now had her craving that, the bourbon she could do without... and for several more months, would have to do without--but not really sure what else to do while she chewed. Had this been a mistake? She'd been so desperate for a distraction that she may have rushed into this reunion without thinking the realities of it through; as the awkward lask of conversation could attest. After taking another mouthful of juice, Rachel said the first thing that popped into her head just to end the drawn out silence. "Have you talked to Santana?"

Dani let out an involuntary groan at Rachel's question. "I have done quite a bit more than talk to her. I drunk texted her Tuesday night. And then got talked into meeting her for lunch yesterday. She wanted answers and she got them... More than I was expecting to give, because she's Santana and such is my life." She ran a hand through her hair, pulling at it ever so slightly. "Worst part is, I'd take everything I had to explain to her, because I drunk texted her, than even the thought of drunk texting the last ex." And there it was.

Rachel held back a sigh. So much for avoiding awkwardness. "She does have an annoying habit of getting her way." Rachel said, trying to salvage herself with an attempt at humour. "Sometimes I wonder if I hired her or she signed me."

Dani rolled her eyes, laughing a bit at Rachel's attempt at humor. "She certainly does, though I wouldn't have had to deal with it quite as heavily if I'd done the smart thing and just not texted anyone and gone to sleep." She shrugged. "The world may never know, cause we both know she'd deny it from now until forever and say it was all on you." She laughed a bit, looking down at the table. "Though, I think I'm glad I got it over with, talking with her. Even if I hate how it came about. I hadn't talked about a lot of what I told her since leaving Mississippi, or even really before that, either."

Rachel smiled at her at least partial success but the smile lasted only a few moments before slowly fading as she listened to Dani. Would that be how she felt once she told everyone, glad to be done with it? Or would she be left wishing she'd held her silence a little longer, hating what the truth had cost her. After a few seconds--it had been seconds, hadn't it--of staring at her empty plate, Rachel shook herself out of her reverie and flashed Dani a quick smile. "At least you didn't show up at the old apartment. I don't even know who's living there now."

Dani watched Rachel quietly, wondering just how much had changed for the brunette over the years. Sure, she'd seen bits and pieces on the internet when she'd google various shows she was curious about. But even she knew that was never close to the truth of the matter. It never was. She smiled, laughing a bit. "I wouldn't dare, don't like being surprised, certainly ain't gonna try that on someone else. I actually know who lives in my old apartment, but that's because he keeps getting my mail, even now. I swear, I have tried everything to get the mail to not show up there, but it never worked. I may also be sleeping on his couch. I think we almost gave Gunther a heart attack when we showed up for lunch yesterday, though. Looked like he'd seen a ghost or something."

Rachel tilted her head in curiosity. Now this was the sort of distraction she'd been hoping for. "Gunther?" She asked, leaning forward in her seat. "Who is Gunther, and perhaps more importantly, who is 'we'?"

[alexham88-blog]

Few clouds, 88°F

DTX

I will be quick and to the point. I have been gone well over two years. I am unsure of how I want to pursue this journal but I will just focus on completing full reflections until I can no more. 

Bsckground.

I am 30 years old. When I am solo, I spend a lot of time reflecting on what I have done these last 12 years since I turned 18. I compare myself to my colleagues, my friends, my old classmates, and my college buddies. And I see people who have kids, a career, good income, family, goals, plans, or real estate; something to show for their time here. I don’t feel that I have much of any of that.  At best, I have a dog I never really take care of; she has become the family dog. My closest friends are all in relationships, married, or have started families. How can my life compare to any of that. They have money saved, homes purchased, etc. Meanwhile, I am 30K+ in debt and have recently decided to look for a new life.

The Analysis..

So I often times ask myself, “Why have I not done any of that?” I tell myself that maybe I do not care as much about those things, and it is indeed possible. Even as I type this I do not feel a heavy desire or need to find any of these things. I guess I sense guilt in that I have “wasted” these years just wandering about; wasting money, traveling, and just going through most of the motions. What is it that I want in the end? Why do I feel so lost? When a friend talks to me about their qualms, their sense of being lost, I often time assure them that at the end of the day we are lost, and that no one really has it together. I don’t know if I truly believe that as much as I say it. I ask myself what I want, and I describe wanting a business of some sort, wanting to study engineering, maybe law, agriculture... all my major interests. But I do not want to study that just yet. That is the thing. Now that I am 30, I want to use this limited window of opportunity wisely (that’s a matter of perspective).

More Background.

Last November I took a trip with Steph to my beloved Mexico City for a few days during my Thanksgiving break. During that trip, I realized i would be hitting thirty in less than a month, with very little life satisfaction and with limited direction in the near future. I cannot really tell you what I was doing the moment it happened, but at some point during that trip, bearing that prior thought in mind, I decided to focus on accomplishing a goal I made almost a decade earlier. 

Back in Spring 2010, I studied abroad in Monterrey, Mexico. The time I spent there was mostly amazing, but there was a particular trip I took to Mexico City, where I simply felt awestruck and in love with that city. Now that I reflect on that time in my life, I sort of wish I had studied abroad in Mexico City instead of Monterrey. Maybe that would have sped up my current plans or thus eliminated my desires to one day move to Mexico City and live there for a unspecified amount of time with no actualized goal in mind. Well to sum things up, I told myself 9 years ago that I would one day live in Mexico City. I had no idea when or any solid plan on how, but it was just something I told myself and possibly even mentioned to my friend Brendan during that trip.

And so during my November trip to CDMX, I decided, this is it. I’m going to do it. I’m going to just drop it all and move. There were other factors in play of course (job dissatisfaction, student loans wall I ran into), but mostly I just wanted to complete a personal goal I wrote for myself to one day have. People ask me every time, why on earth do you want to go there? ANd I respond I just do. I love that city. I don’t expect them to understand, but I know there are people out there that get it; those people who move across the country from LA to NYC or vice versa, they move from Miami to Seattle, etc. It is something in their that simply calls their name. Something they love about it. And it has nothing to do with where they currently live, it is probably a wonderful place, but maybe they feel out of place, desperate to find something different; to escape the asphyxiation. And it is these types of feelings that drive me to leave behind people I love and care deeply for, but I cannot let their love hold me for this yearning desire.

This may sound like a stretch, an exaggerated comparison, but I think about it a lot. I think about my ancestors, and their history. Mexicans are said to be mostly of mestizo origin, a blend of indigenous Americans and Spanish (and or Mediterranean) blood. My indigenous family is actually of the northern part of Mexico, part of the many desert nomadic tribes that lived in that region for centuries before the Spanish arrived. In that regard, we are not officially Aztec blood, as the Aztec empire bordered near where my father’s family village lies. Nonetheless, I think my nomadic ancestors are close relatives to the Aztec people that simply lived in the central area of fertile, green Mexico (why conquer a desert people, more people, less resources), and perhaps simply splintered off from the Aztecs. You see the Aztecs were nomads for many centuries, believed to originate from somewhere close to the Oregon, Utah, Idaho area; I find that part hilarious, for reasons I will explain soon enough. The Aztecs came looking for a new land according to their historical codex, and eventually landed in modern day Mexico City, the center of their empire. What’s my point? My ancestors going back to my indigenous roots were natural explorers/ wanderers. I like to think its in my blood to never be satisfied (Eliza voice). The Spanish explorers that eventually settled in Mexico were also explorers (to put it nicely). In my blood lies the people who traveled to unknowns lands to explore and live something different from what was their status quo. I feel a connection to that feeling and to that thought.

Let me get back to my immediate family history. My mom’s family is from Monterrey; they moved to South Texas Rio Grande Valley when they were still young, before my mom was born. My mom was born in Texas, but her family eventually migrated to Oregon and stayed up there. She grew up learning more English than Spanish, adapting to a culture different from hers. That is where I mentioned the hilarious part. My mom’s family migrated back to where our roots actually came from. Hilarious might be too strong a word. She only came back after my dad met her and brought her back to Texas. I also think about my grandparents and how they moved so young to a new country and then moved across the country to a new place with a large family to try their luck somewhere else. If they had the courage to do such things, surely I can make it exploring CDMX and Mexico for that matter for a year or two. 

The Plan...

I’m leaving this weekend to Mexico. First though, I need to get some things in order. I have some pending doctor appointments coming at the end of the month, pending business stuff for my dad’s business projects, personal bills, and I need a solution to get rid of my car. My car does need a few repairs and will be getting them done in Northern Mexico. So here is the plan.

Go to Durango and visit family a few days on Sunday or Monday (depends on some stuff).

Leave car to get repaired in Durango. Get to CDMX by bus/plane.

Arrive and finalize apartment: I went last month in search of an apartment, and found a great place but the lady in charge did not have it ready. So based on where she is at next week, I may just need to go and sign a lease somewhere else and call it a day. 

I will eventually have to go get my car and take it back to Dallas when it is ready (date unknown). When the car gets to Dallas, I will finish setting it up on Turo like i had it before. I will need to make use it can turn a profit of at least $400 a month (easy). 

I have a doctor appointment on the 21st in Dallas. I will go in and head back out maybe that same day.

When finally settled in Mexico, I will work random odd jobs and just work on getting my grove together. I will also focus on losing weight, taking dance classes, and networking. Those are my main priorities. My cousin gets married in October and I will be in Dallas for his wedding. I will be here a week or two. Because of that, I want to focus on finding a job after his wedding. In the meantime i can search for another job to start after his wedding. Ideally, I can survive without having to actually work in a 40 hour work week schedule. We leave it to time to tell what happens here. When money is tight, I will come in and substitute to cover rent and monthly expenses ( a weeks worth of work should cover it). Which is a win-win, spend time with family during that time. 

Sometime in November I plan on using some investment money that has been put aside to use it on something. My time in CDMX leading up to my cousin’s wedding will be exploration time to see what would be a good investment opportunity or idea. 

I am looking forward to seeing what this turns out like in the near future. I know that worse comes to worse, I can always come home. I am excited about the new experiences and the amazing weather that is to come into my life in the near future. 

In this entry, I focused primarily on my upcoming plan to move. I think its vital to clear my head and reflect on these emotions so that I can have some peace of mind. My brain has been out of whack lately, and I have been having insomnia. I hope this will help alleviate that.

I debate with myself on whether or not I should share this entry. But for the most part I think I will. To any friends, I welcome feedback but discourage criticism or judgment. I look forward to your thoughts guys. Love you.

-Turo 

Powered by Journey.

[socialattractionuk]

16 people open up about their most brutal breakups

(Illustration: Liberty Antonia Sadler for Metro.co.uk)

Breakups suck. But some are worse than others.

If you’ve managed to have an easy breakup, and have even stayed civil with your ex, you’re one of the lucky ones.

Other people haven’t been so successful.

Breakups hurt. They can be traumatic. They can affect your ability to trust or to open up your heart ever again.

We spoke to 16 people about their most brutal breakups.

Here’s what they said.

‘He said it was for the best’

‘I had been seeing this guy for 10-ish months when he suddenly dumped me. Didn’t tell me why, just that “it was for the best”.

‘Fast forward a month later I was feeling uneasy. A doctor’s appointment later I found out the guy gave me an STD and that I suffered a miscarriage.

‘Told the guy, he confessed he was screwing one of my ‘friends’. She gave him the STD, then he gave it me.

‘Realised and hoped I would get with someone else and blame ‘him’. Oh and his response to me having a miscarriage was “well least it didn’t have my nose”. So that was fun.’

‘He left me for another girl during a breakdown’

‘We were together for six years and I had bad mental health problems. One month I was in a really low place. I was contemplating ending my life and was under the Crisis mental health services.

‘One weekend he went out with “friends” and didn’t come home. I trusted him so didn’t think anything of it.

‘Two days later he ended it with me. He deleted and blocked me on social media despite me still living in our shared home and sharing bills together.

‘Two weeks later he was in a relationship with another girl. He was pictured with her on the night he didn’t come home.

‘To add extra pain they posted a photo of themselves together, and she was wearing my jumper.’

(Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

‘He said I needed to find somewhere else to live’

‘I was suffering from PTSD and really bad anxiety after being sexually assaulted. For the first time in a while I managed to leave the home we shared together only to I come back and find he’d packed a bag and disappeared.

‘He didn’t answer his phone and I only found out he was breaking up with me when I checked my emails.

‘He said that it was over, he was staying at his parent’s place and I needed to find somewhere else to live. I genuinely thought I’d never get over it but now I see it as him doing me a favour as I got to see how unreliable he was before getting married or having kids.’

‘He’s getting married’

‘He texted me the day my best friend was getting engaged (it was a surprise for her but her boyfriend had organised a party) to tell me he wouldn’t be coming because he didn’t want to see me anymore (after two years together).

‘Found out later he had slept with someone he worked with two days before and they were in a relationship three days after he did that (though I have messages from him saying he made a mistake and just needed a break).

‘They are getting married this year. He basically played me around until he knew this girl wanted a future, when he was 100% sure she did, he dropped me!

‘I had to spend the whole day being happy for my friend while literally dying inside. I was so happy for her but it was super hard.’

More: World

British man who spent 21 months in prison is cleared of rape in Australia

Mum who said daughter would have better life in UK is told to return to Latvia

Cara Delevingne admits preferring to give than receive orgasms in candid interview

‘He nagged me about my weight’

‘One ex became obsessed with what I ate and nagging me about my weight.

‘He was completely unsympathetic when I was diagnosed with Lyme disease, let me go to A&E alone, then due to all the medication I was taking I was gaining weight but not hungry and I just snapped after more hurtful comments.

‘The worst part is he collapsed at work three months later and it turned out he had a brain tumour, which is what had caused the personality changes and lack of empathy. He’s still undergoing treatment and apologised but I had a lot of guilt over it.’

(Picture : Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

‘He’d been having a seven month affair’

‘Husband was in a crisis and it made me crash and burn, ended up having a breakdown and looked after by mental health teams, only to find out ten months later he’d been having a seven month affair with a girl he worked with.’

‘He dumped me on the day I was getting a biopsy’

‘A guy dumped me on the day I was having a biopsy on my cervix after getting very bad smear results.

‘Through tears I told the nurse that it wasn’t because I was scared, but because i’d been dumped. “Did he know you had this today?” she asked.

‘”Yes”, I replied.

‘”Then he’s a c***”.’

‘He didn’t know what he wanted anymore’

‘I was getting ready to spend New Year’s Eve with my partner of six years. As I was about to get in the car to go to his, he called me and told me he “didn’t know what he wanted” anymore. Left me hanging in radio silence for eight days then officially ended it.

‘It turned out he’d been cheating on me.

‘I spent NYE alone with my cats and the next week of my life in absolute turmoil not having a clue where this had come from… we’d just spent a lovely Christmas together! The girl he left me for was someone I went to college with, who he’d been working with.’

‘We were making an album together’

‘My ex and I were together for ten years, had forged a career together, and then we suddenly found ourselves at the end. It was extremely painful for both of us, but we both did everything we could to make sure the other had what they needed.

‘We were making an album together at the time, crying in the vocal booth between takes, living in the same apartment writing songs together. It was tough, and it’s the worst I’ve experienced – but what you went through was truly awful.’

‘He went to South Africa and ghosted me’

‘My ex was going to South Africa and told me as it was only for a few weeks we’d still speak and it would be fine. Literally as soon as he left he ghosted me.’

(Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

‘He’d changed his mind about marriage and kids’

‘Ex-husband phoned me from work one night after 13 months of marriage to tell me he’d “changed his mind about marriage/kids.”

‘He sent a mate to collect his stuff and I never saw him again.

‘Best thing that ever happened – Went on to have a baby girl three years later. So thank you!!’

‘He left me in debt’

‘I found out my ex was cheating on me, then when I left I had to try to pay all the bills and all the debt he had left me in (£13k), I tried to get my stuff back but had donated everything to charity. I was left in so much debt and had no clothes or anything.’

‘He broke up with me on New Year’s Eve’

‘After seven years my ex let us move into a new flat. Signed a lease. Spent the day at IKEA buying new furniture, then putting up all this new furniture, before breaking up with me out of the blue.

Oh and it was New Year’s Eve. Spent midnight at Reading services drinking tea.’

More: Dating

Man creates ridiculous list of demands on Tinder - and it's not gone down well

Have you ever dated a 'flashpanner'? Probably, but not for long

'What are you thinking?': Answering the ultimate couple question

‘We got married young’

‘I married the first time very young. I was not 20 until a few months after we married. I worked as a night audit at a hotel. I decided to get off early and surprise my husband. I was the one that got surprised – he and one of his coworkers were in our bed together.’

‘He said we should go back to dating’

‘I had an ex say we should go back to just dating. No label on it. He then basically ghosted me after a day or so of this and turns out he ended up with a girl from his workplace that same week.’

‘He was having an affair’

‘My ex was having an affair.

‘I am severely disabled. One day he came back from his bit on the side and told me to get out. Me and wheelchair ended up on the street.

‘He refused to let me have my cat or my things. Left me in £12k debt, and he had claimed ESA in my name.’

MORE: Six men open up about what it’s like to be pegged by women and why they loved it

MORE: People tell us the heartbreaking stories of why they broke up with their best friend