#but the trend when i was starting had john pining since he was more obvious with it irl

[chut-je-dors]

Sorry but I don't think you can say you're trying to "contribute" to making the mclennon fandom "more equal" with the way half your fics portray paul thistring after john's dick and making him be sub in all your fics and I hear people say how good the hor mechanic is but I think paul is just super annoying, not realistic at all and I'm sorry I don't understand how that fic became so popular in the first place or how your contributing to this fandom

You know what, I usually delete all this kind of asks after the whole hysteric!Paul controversy took place, ‘cos my patience was just running out and I was simply getting tired of it, but I actually want to answer this time, and will do so thoroughly. So beware, a LONG post coming through.

I’d like to begin with the claim that half of my fics portray Paul as the “bottom” one. First of all, I’d like to clarify that for me, it doesn’t matter who bottoms and who tops — the important thing is whether the relationship between the two men is equal, and that equality has nothing to do with who bottoms. One of them has to, if they were to do anal sex. It is true that in most of my fics, Paul has been the one to bottom, but that doesn’t mean he’s beneath John in any other way than just physically, literally lying under him.

There is a lot in this whole thing that people don’t really get:

First of all, you need to understand what kind of a place our fandom was when I was first starting as a reader. Most of the fics featured Paul as the bottom one, but John as the emotional drive in the stories. I’ve lost count of the oneshots I read back then that had John pining after Paul, and there didn’t seem to be any corresponding fics where Paul was the one desperately pining for John. Their relationship didn’t seem equal; Paul was too soft, John was too hard. Paul was the romantical one, John couldn’t have cared less. Paul was a stuck-up nun, John was a reckless arsehole without any regard for others feelings.

I started reading fics in 2009 at the age of 13, and two-three years later I was writing my first fic ThighGHGHGHGS. This was both an outlet for my personal frustration over John’s thighs (man was I high on hormones at 15), a desire to write something that would make other people laugh, and an attempt to do something that was often less seen; Paul pining over John.

After that, there were a couple of smaller fics that I won’t be discussing here, meant as crack fics and never to be taken seriously. (What 1 being my personal favourite.) The big needle in the wound for everyone seems to be the Hot Mechanic and the Hot Series in general, so let me tell you about that fic:

In 2012-2013 the steady stream of new fics on JohnHeartPaul seemed to be dying down. There were maybe one or two multichapter fics being published, new chapters appearing every now and then, and the place seemed to be dying down. At that point the JP-archive stopped being updated. I was 15, going on 16, and growing increasingly frustrated with the lack of good new fics in the fandom (at that point I’d read the whole archive through like, twice). I started roaming over to the Merlin fandom and was blown away by the amount of good fics that incorporated the characters into all sorts of AUs seamlessly. I especially loved the modern AUs, and felt that that was missing from our fandom. At this point (in 2013) there were about two or three Modern AU fics in the fandom, and all of them were oneshots! We simply had no multichapter modern AU fics.

I decided to simply continue on the same policy I’d previously had with ThighGHGHGHS; I wanted to bring something new into the fandom. (Note: I don’t want to sound egoistical in this essay — the reason why I haven’t explained this before now is because I am a very, very modest person, and I have a problem in taking credit and compliments over something that I don’t feel was such a big deal. But these are things that I’ve heard from other people over the years, and as such I feel safe saying them, even though I’m still battling to accept the high praise.)

So why is The Hot Mechanic so popular? Because it is the first long, plot-driven modern AU in this fandom.

I wanted to do it as a crack fic, because I love humour. I wrote a fic that made me laugh, and I never expected it to become a thing that’s still going on. But because it’s a crack fic, it brought a few changes into the characters. They don’t react like normal people do. Hell, George isn’t a normal person. Ringo is the closest one we get to a normal person in that fic, and Paul literally walked in on him fucking his cousin! They’re all completely out of their heads, and it’s made for the laughs. Since it is a deliberate crack fic that isn’t even trying to make the characters look real (think of it as a really long Monty Python sketch), and since I literally wrote it SIX YEARS AGO, I don’t think it is fair to continuously keep on using that fic against me as a proof of how I “always” write Paul and John.

The following parts to the Hot Series have followed the same pattern as the first part, because, y’know, continuity. You can’t change a character just like that in the middle of the story without an explanation, and since the lads’ characters were well-established in the first part of the series, I had to keep it up. And I wouldn’t have changed it either, because writing them was, and is, genuinely fun, and that’s what matters.

What’s important is also the fact that Paul and John’s relationship is equal. They are both loving towards each other, showing affection openly. John is pining after Paul at work, dreaming about the moment he gets back to Paul on a regular basis, and Paul often reacts to this with fond humour. They laugh at each other’s jokes, walk out hand-in-hand, are equal when it comes to sex — they decide together what they want, standing constantly on equal ground. That sort of an open, fluffy relationship was kinda new as well, mainly due to the fact that this fic takes place in the modern day; they are allowed to be together.

I wrote the Hot Mechanic with a conscious wish of people copying it, taking my lead and jumping into the world of AUs. I hoped that people would get inspired by my first futile attempt at a modern AU, and bring more of them into the fandom. In the end I don’t know how much of an impact the HM had on the authors in general, but some sort of a switch has happened in any case, since in these days we’re gloriously swimming in Modern AUs.

In 2015 I wrote the Vomiting Adventure. I can’t remember if there was any particular reason, other than that I had probably been ill, and wanted to write a fic to commiserate with my subconsciousness. (And those who complain about the hysteric!Paul never seem to mention it at all. Maybe because it doesn’t fit the profile?)

The same year I wrote Hate Is Such A Strong Word. That fic was... never intended to be what it is today. It started as deep, thoughtful few sentences, and then suddenly Paul was tied to the bed, and ??? It suddenly became a try on how to write smut, since I had no real experience in it. It was also a crack fic, and as such I ask you to look at it like at the HM: As nothing meant to be realistic. It was not planned, and Paul bottoming didn’t hold much meaning. It was my first smut, and someone needed to bottom. And Paul was already tied to the bed, which was convenient.

When you look at my fics, you’ll see that most of them are in fact meant as a light, fun reading experience. They are crack fics. The only clear exceptions are This Is Not Them, and Ten Minutes.

This Is Not Them came from that old damned desire to once again do something new, but this time something new for me, since all I had ever done was write crack fics. I wanted to challenge myself and write a fic in a completely different style and tone, I wanted to show people I could do other stuff as well. This fic has Paul bottoming at the beginning when he’s with John, because wordless agreements between characters about who tops and who bottoms? Y’know how those work -- but he tops with other people. He is depressed. Sex is his only way of feeling something, which is explained in the fic (meaning that he is not a slut, but feels conflicted because he feels like one, but doesn’t want to, and doesn’t know who he is anymore). And John has his own depression to fight against, and here, Paul bottoming is kind of a plot point... uh, like a small dot in a bigger plot point about who John is and Why Is He Like That? I don’t want to spoil the fic for those who haven’t read it yet, but; there isn’t a sentence written in that fic that doesn’t have a meaning behind it. Paul doesn’t bottom for the reader: he bottoms because John won’t, due to the man’s ghosts from the past.

What underlines my work is that I always want to do something no one else has ever done before, or has never done properly. I have decided not to delete my older work, because I know people enjoy those fics, and I hope people wouldn’t judge how I write now based on those 6-year old works. The fics that I’ve been working on within this past year are This Is Not Them, Ten Minutes, and 5 Thomas Lane. Read those fics, and tell me whether you see a sign of the “feminine and girlish” Paul. (or don’t read them, ‘cos they’re really long... like so many words..... god)

I can say that personally I’ve never liked the fics where Paul was made out to be the crying princess, just based on his looks. The fandom tended to do that (as they often do for “pretty” characters), and I wanted John and Paul to be equal. They are equal in banter, equal in feelings, and yes, equal in bed as well in the way that it matters: mentally. (Except for This Is Not Them, but that is a plot point)

I highly encourage you to take a look at my fic page, where you can see all the fics I’ve written at a glance! It really sounds like you haven’t read most of them, so do give them a go!

As a response to your thoughts that I have not contributed to this fandom at all — I’m sure you’re aware of the JP-Library by now. At least I hope so! Here is how all that happened:

As I mentioned before, in 2013 the fandom seemed to be dying down. 2014-2016 continued in the same way, with everyone having sort of scattered around after JohnHeartPaul had gone quiet. Tumblr isn’t the best place to keep your whole community in, since it doesn’t offer any possibility for good fandom discussion. AO3 was slowly gaining foot in the fandom, and new fics started to appear little by little — AUs to my delight, although even as recently as in 2016 there just didn’t seem to be any new ground-shaking fics. Overall the whole place seemed to be dying down, and I was feeling desperate, because this fandom had been my home for years by then.

4th of January 2017 I had a thought that if no one else was going to do anything, I was the one that had to. Here is a quote from messages I sent that day to one friend after bringing up the idea of a new, updated JP-archive:

CJD, [04.01.17 23:43]I just kinda wanna keep the jp fandom alive

CJD, [04.01.17 23:43]cos I’ve been watching it go down for years :/

This was my core motivation from the start. I collected all the fics from the JP-archive, went through them to sort out the broken links, and started adding AO3 fics into the mix. A month after the idea of doing this had surfaced, I published the site, and have been updating it ever since. Soon after that I took over @mclennonrecs​.

I have been told by several different people that “you’re the one who’s keeping this fandom alive” or “you revived the whole fandom”. I’m not... sure if I agree, but it does however give a picture of what at least a one group of people think of my contributions to this fandom, and I’m glad to think that I’ve managed to make at least a small difference.

Truthfully I find it quite offensive that you would question my involvement in our fandom after all the work I’ve put into the Library and Mclennonrecs. I won’t say anything else on the matter, but I hope you take your time reading through my answer and considering what I’ve said.

I am always ready to receive criticism about my writing and the work I do, as long as it is given constructively. I do hope people would stop hounding writers for writing stories with bottom!Paul. It is discouraging to new authors and tiring to the old ones. I’ve always loved how people of all ages can unite over our love for John and Paul without judging anyone, so let’s not start creating unnecessary tension now.

Learn to see the fandom through its rich history, and don’t judge people without knowing their motivations. Please spread love instead of hate. Thank you! :)

[reliciron]

Exploring Arcann’s Romance: Part 1

So Arcann’s romance, huh?

Kinda sucked, didn’t it?

So I’m going to throw down some ideas that might flesh it out a bit. Again, these are just some of my interpretations, and since I love thinking about his romance I would really like to hear other ideas because some of mine are getting stale from how often I’ve run through the scenarios in my head.

Strap in, it’s another long one.

Part 2 here

Like any in-game romance, there are as many different ways to introduce a romance as there are fans of that pairing. No two are going to be exactly the same, but I’ve found that fans seem to get more creative about a romance the less satisfactory the in-game scenes are. If there’s several scenes with good emotional weight that lead to a satisfying confession/kiss/sex scene then a fair number of fics will include the canon scenes in some form. I’m not saying that this is lazy fic writing, I’m saying that its a testament to how good the canon content is. If what we got is shit, then we’re more motivated to make our own; if it’s good, then then we can focus more on the unseen parts of the existing scene, like their internal dialogue, rather than creating a completely new one. Ex. Fenris from Dragon Age 2. All these years later, I still love his romance. I find the flirting and romance scenes satisfying and true to the characters. I’ve read a lot of Hawke/Fenris fanfics, and a large portion of those who addressed their getting together tend to follow the canon scenes closely. They’re not exact of course, often there’s enough of the author’s flavor to make the scenes feel new again, but I feel like this illustrates the trend.

On the other end of the spectrum are romances like Arcann’s. I understand of course, his romance is an afterthought in the game. An addition that came after the story was concluded and tacked on in a single companion alert that could easy be overlooked. Add that little scene variation before The Nathema Conspiracy flashpoint, and we’ve got two measly little scenes and one or two messages. Compare that to Theron Shan’s romance. Assuming you ran through the Prelude, Shadow of Revan, and Ziost, then you’ve been flirting with him for months if not years. (Quick note, I’ve only romanced Theron as an Imp-side character so I’m not sure how different it is Pub-side) We get to see him flustered by our interest in the Prelude. He subtly checks if we’re still interested when we first see him again on Rishi and acts more accepting of our flirtations. He’s even more confident on Yavin 4, going as far as expressing his worry and his own flirtations. We even get kisses! One on Rishi, one on Yavin. And he seems genuinely regretful that we have to part ways. We don’t get much on Ziost, which makes sense since things are happening so fast, but we get enough to know that he hasn’t forgotten us, and he still harbors interest.

In KotFE, we find that sweet, sad, nervous message waiting for us once we get to a mailbox, and once he enters the story we get plenty of opportunities for flirting, kisses, and soft emotional scenes straight through to the end of Nathema (assuming you didn’t kill him or break up).

Arcann’s content looks pretty pathetic in comparison, so it’s no surprise that the few people putting out fics for him have their work cut out for them.

The first major division we can make are: fics that assume Arcann fell for you after he joins the Alliance, and fics that assume his interest started much earlier, when he was still the villain. The second one is: fics who include the canon confession scene, and those who make their own.

Honestly, I think I speak for everyone in that the content for Arcann is so sparse that most readers don’t have a preference. Beggars can’t be choosers after all. But such categories can help us corral our ideas on his romance.

The companion alert itself is seems very heavily predisposed toward someone looking to romance him. He made you armor so you can always be protected for god’s sake! Even if you’re not looking to romance him, it still makes you think that he’s crushing on your character big time (which he actually admits in a message post-confession). Add those pre-romance messages to this scene and it makes it painfully awkward for anyone who doesn’t romance him.

But even then, the whole thing is extremely abrupt. The last we knew in the game, our character is at least on civil terms with him, but his speech is still very formal and his actions still scream nervous subservience. He still seems very unsure of his position in the Alliance, so he’s probably falling back on what he knows from his years serving Valkorian. Emphasis on serving.

I don’t think I need to tell you guys how bad that is; going into a relationship with the person you feel subservient to.

So it’s little wonder that most fics either put way more distance between the end of KotET and the confession or put more work into advancing Arcann’s headspace into a healthier place, often a little of both.

It’s important to me that I don’t fall into the trap of “love fixes everything” because I don’t personally like that kind of relationship.

Arcann’s so messed up that it would take years to get him in to a completely healthy state of mind, and most fics don’t have that sort of time, but we can at least try to get him into a more confident position before we dive into the romance.

Now, to the romance scenarios. Specifically, the ones where he started being interested in you after he joined the Alliance.

The fics I’ve read who do include the canon alert scene, tend to change it a little. It seems best to let it play out normally without picking the flirt option. That awkwardness can then be used in a more natural confession later on.

Either your character hadn’t even entertained the idea of romancing Arcann, or they had but assumed he wouldn’t return their feelings. Depending on how careful and emotionally insightful they might be, they could also worry that their interest would not be appropriate for the situation. They could worry that even if Arcann was interested he wouldn’t be ready for a relationship. At worst, if they’ve noticed his subservience, they could even worry that he wouldn’t refuse their interest out of some misguided need to appease them or because he feared for his position in the Alliance if he refused. After all, your character is the Commander and they are technically in a position of power over him. Do I think he would actually do that? No. But an overly anxious character, or one looking for any excuse not to confess, might worry about it.

Either way, Arcann gifting them armor, showing an almost desperate need to protect them, and his messages paint a pretty obvious interest. They could be too surprised or flustered to properly respond right then, but they could take the hint to start making moves on him. Whatever that means for your character, whether it’s blatant flirting looking to get a reaction out of him, or its more subtle, like little innocent touches and spending more time with him. The response is up to you.

I admit, I’m all about that pining, so I tend to assume that he has already come to the conclusion that he’s interested in your character and that there’s no way they could possibly like him back. So I figure that any flirting will be coming from your character. How long it takes for him to catch on depends on your character’s personality, what kind of flirting their doing, and how unusual it is for them to act that way.

For those who disregard the confession scene entirely, the sky’s the limit. I have a few ideas of my own but there aren’t really any guidelines here so long as you try to keep them in character (if that’s something you want to do, writing OOC characters is an option, just not one I enjoy). And if you DO need them to do something that would be out of character, then spend the time and do the work to get them to a point where it wouldn’t be. If you need Arcann to take control and push your character up against a wall you can’t go from an unsure regretful man to playful sexy man in 3.5 seconds, work on him to get him there. Throughout a reasonable amount of time and circumstances, boost his confidence, make him feel as if that action would be welcome to your character and not frightening. The actions that lead us there, however, are up to you.

As for Arcann’s falling-for-you process:

I think it was first rooted in respect and a little hero worship.

Assuming that he was honest when he said he didn’t feel anything but negative things for you pre-ritual, let’s consider what those might be.

At minimum you were an annoyance. Some little shit who didn’t have the sense to bow down, and kept foiling his plans. The longer you kept making yourself a nuisance the angrier you made him. You somehow managed to find the one ship who could stand up to the eternal fleet, effectively spitting in the face of his military might. You survived what should have been a fatal blow. You had the gall to come back to Zakuul while there was an active bounty on your head. You subverted his own subjects, showed his automated army was not immune to sabotage, stole the majority of his treasury, and came within striking distance of disabling the entire fleet. He went from being mildly amused and faintly irritated at the mention of you, letting you run around Zakuul with only an offhand warning to the people, to being so fixated that he willingly ignored that Scorpio had taken the throne just so he could attack you.

You were willful, persistent, cunning, and absolutely infuriating. A Robin Hood to his Prince John.

But now he’s on the other side. He’s part of your Merry Men. And those qualities take on another light.

With his rage pacified, his newly reemerged empathy has shown him the cost of his actions. Actions that Vaylin is now mirroring. Suddenly facing down the might of the eternal fleet with its legions of Skytroopers and Knights, the shear impossibility of the task finally hits home for him. This is what the Commander has been fighting for months. Through charisma and shear force of will, they’ve managed to convince people to band together against ridiculous odds, and through guerrilla tactics and their own considerable strength they’ve actually been able to hold their own.

If that doesn’t earn his respect nothing will.

And with their continued dogged attacks, even in the face of such adversity, I don’t know how he wouldn’t admire them.

But your character’s been through a lot by the time he joins up. They’ve been at this for months if not years, all the while toting around the ticking time bomb known as Valkorian. We don’t see it in-game, but they have to be exhausted. Mentally and physically. And now he’s in a position to see those cracks start to form. The shadows under their eyes grow darker, their movements more sluggish, and their patience thins. He watches the way their gaze goes distant or they track someone with their eyes when there’s nothing there, and knows that it’s his father haunting them. Every loss hits them harder and weighs heavier on their shoulders, and Arcann’s admiration for them grows alongside his fear.

Fear that they will break under the pressure.

But to his increasing surprise, that worry is less and less about what that would mean for the galaxy, or even the Alliance, and more what that would do to the Commander. He finds that he’s grown to actually like them. The perseverance that once enraged him now leaves him in awe. The tone he’d thought was mocking is now charming or soothing. The depths of their strength is no longer frightening, but inspiring.

There is a light in their eyes. And every day, every appearance from his father, every loss, causes it to dim a little more. And he’s become terrified that it will go out.

I agree that the scene in the throne room is the turning point for him. When admiration and fondness turned into romantic feelings.

“It was not until you defeated Valkorian and took the throne that I realized my feelings had evolved beyond admiration.” - In-game Message

Seeing his father taking control of the Commander must’ve been terrifying. I’m sure he felt it.

There must have been a surge of Valkorian’s power, and then the Commander’s presence all but disappeared.

Our character was so badly broken that they took on Valkorian’s image just to survive. [Brief side note: I loved those scenes where you have to reassemble yourself by stringing your memories together. But taking on Valkorian’s image never made sense to me. If I address this in a fanfic, I’d prefer being a formless glob of light, or maybe a walking collection of shattered glass.]

You were unconscious for so long and Arcann got so scared that we was willing to go in there after you. He even expresses his worry to Senya that he “wouldn’t be strong enough”. Whether he meant he wouldn’t be strong enough to resist falling to the dark side again, or he simply wasn’t powerful enough to defeat Valkorian is unclear, but the important thing is that he was willing to risk it for you.

I cannot emphasize this enough, he was so scared of losing you that he was willing to face down the man who abused him for decades.

And this close call made him realize how important you were to him and how deep his feelings for you actually ran.

Part 2 here

[nightincider]

A Somewhat Skewed Guide to Listening to Taylor Swift

I wrote this for a friend a year ago who was interested in getting into Taylor Swift and had no idea where to start - this is by no means a formal review, but a casual personal overview on Taylor Swift that I thought would be amusing to post here. 

Warning: unfiltered, unedited rambling :’D 

Disclaimer: I confess I’m not familiar with 100% of her discography (I usually don’t listen to the bonus tracks/know all of her standalones)

Note: I will be going in chronological order of her discography even though that’s not how my journey through her stuff went

Taylor Swift (2006)

don’t listen to this if you actually hate country music bc this is defs more on the country side of her country-pop crossover (mandolins, banjos, thankfully no annoying vocal twang)

this album is a great insight to her roots as a songwriter but it’s best enjoyed if you already like her, it’s like peeking into the old diary of someone you admire

Picture to Burn - hilarious breakup song trash talking an ex about how his pickup truck is stupid (you think I’m kidding but I’m not), video is awesome and shows her band trashing his house. I once sang this at karaoke and my friend fucking died and she didn’t believe the lyrics were actually a T Swift song

Mary’s Song (Oh My My My) - a really pretty, sappy gem about a long term love

everything else I could take or leave tbh

Fearless (2008)

tbh I still don’t “get” this album bc it’s a bit immature for my tastes but I’m sure young teen me would have loved it if it came out then. But overall I feel like this album only disappoints me bc her later work is so much better. Otherwise it’s actually pretty great

Fearless - the title song for good reason, appropriate way to begin the album and starts off with the attitude of facing love with a, you guessed it, fearless outlook

Love Story - ok the Romeo & Juliet ref and the sappy lyrics are kinda cringeworthy but overlooking that it is probably one of her most well-written pop songs to date in terms of the melody, arrangement, catchiness etc and I will always have a soft spot in my heart for this

Breathe (feat. Colbie Caillat) - understated soft, sad pretty track

Forever and Always - I really love the melody in this one and the mentions of rain. This feels like the precursor to Mine (off Speak Now), except the relationship in the song didn’t actually work out

Change - notably NOT about relationships but about looking forward to positive changes and winning in life whatnot. It’s uplifting and I see it as the prequel to Long Live (from Speak Now)

everything else is not bad but doesn’t quite make my favs like this list. shoot me but I find Fifteen and You Belong With Me way overrated

 Speak Now (2010)

supposedly before writing this album Swift wanted to go with the concept “Enchanted” (which is one of the songs as well) but her label told her she needed to show she was maturing and not make an album that was basically Fearless 2.0 so she opted for the idea of “Speak Now”, which is total (sometimes brutal) honesty

This album does indeed speak her mind, in the sad, happy, and even embarrassing ways (coughs the title track is about her fantasizing about crashing her ex’s wedding and stealing him away and makes comments about how the bride’s gown looks like a pastry)

Before Red, Swift released a lot of singles w/ multiple versions, usually a US (read: more country) and international (read: more pop/rock) one.

IMO, the singles on Speak Now (Mine, Back to December, Story of Us) sound way, way better on the international edition. So please try to find those versions!

Mine - please check out the international version it’s miles better than the US version (more driving rhythm/urgency, better guitar riff, the US version is too laid back IMO)

Sparks Fly - a song about undeniable chemistry, the chorus is one of my favs

Back to December - slow, sad, and beautiful.  I almost cried over this. I prefer this to Dear John bc it’s not as brutal and more accessible (Dear John is great too but really hard to listen to that often). Again international version is better bc the mandolin part in the US version is annoying.

Mean - kind of childish but that’s why I love it, it’s the pop song equivalent of a kid sticking their tongue out at their bullies on the playground

The Story of Us - not as emotionally wrenching as a lot of the other breakup songs but probably the catchiest and I love the beat

Enchanted - love at first sight type song. I really like the song structure (especially how it builds up) and instrumentation, and the bridge stanza is my favorite

Better Than Revenge - T Swift doing Paramore 

Innocent - T Swift doing Evanescence, also I think that song was a jab back at Kanye West lmfao

Long Live - song about taking on the world, proving ppl wrong, having great adventures, I wish I could someday feel worthy of singing this song

the one dud IMO is Never Grow Up (it’s kinda boring plus I think she was too young to write well from the perspective of a parent).

Red (2012)

This was THE album that converted me to the cult of Swift and I hope it converts you too

I confess I only really noticed the beauty of Speak Now bc I went back and listened to it properly after I got tired of spinning Red during my commute

Fun fact: I only bothered to give this album a try after my white hipster bestie (whom I had a huge gross crush on at the time) rec’d it and I was like wtf at first but he was like no really give it a shot, so I did.

Red is every bit as honest as Speak Now but it’s not as bitter or playful it’s more sad and resigned and more nostalgic, wistful, you get it...

It’s painful for me to rec my favs from it bc I’d say the ENTIRE FUCKING ALBUM but I’ll. try. /grits teeth

State of Grace - those drums! that guitar! that whole “we’re on a journey and it’s beginning” feel…  this is her strongest album opening track to date (1989 totally bombed in that aspect, fuck Welcome to New York)

Red - I don’t know how a song has literally 2 unique melody lines but still manages to be so amazing. Unfair.

Treacherous - the whole excitement of falling in love with someone that you probably shouldn’t but presented in an unexpectedly tender way

All Too Well - by this point Swift has a trend of making song #5 the sad slow ballad (it’s a thing her fans have noticed). This song hits me hard on a personal level bc it reminds me of my 2.5 year relationship that ended and it’s incredibly well-written, from the lyrics reminiscing on the past to taking you back into that moment during the choruses, also the bridge just breaks me. This is probably the pinnacle of sad breakup songs and you cannot convince me otherwise

I Almost Do - All Too Well’s more timid but no less heartbreaking cousin

Holy Ground - this is kind of the banner song of the album despite not being the title track. While Red is meant to set the backdrop for this album’s themes, this song embodies the core of the album best IMO. And it has a danceable beat to boot.

Sad Beautiful Tragic - I used to skip this a lot after Holy Ground bc it’s a bit of a downer but it has an understated beauty

Starlight - want to see Swift write fanfiction? well here’s your chance. This song is about Ethel and Bobby Kennedy as teenagers. also embarrassing confession: I want to sing this at my own wedding if I ever get married someday. Best part is the piano line that evokes twinkling stars

I’m rather indifferent to the big pop singles in this album (I Knew You Were Trouble, 22, We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together. They’re good but, ultimately the best stuff is the album tracks)

1989 (2014)

the album that converted a lot of pop lovers to the cult of Swift

shows a lot of growth and experimentation since Red, but Red is still personally my favorite, this one’s a close second tho

Swift has said in interviews that Red was a devastating album to write but 1989 is more about moving on from that and focusing on herself and it’s overall both more optimistic (regarding life in general) and calculated and cynical (regarding romance)

1989 is the year Swift was born, btw. Coincidentally the album has 13 tracks not counting the bonus ones and 13 is Swift’s favorite number (she was also born on Dec 13)

I have this whole conspiracy theory level of analysis going on about how this is a sequel to Red and how those two albums are linked in a way that the others aren’t

let’s get it out of the way, Welcome to New York is the obvious dud. sorry to our mutual friends who love NY but the song kind of sucks in itself oops. Like it’s very uninspired and generic

for an actual good song about NY check out Vienna Teng’s Goodnight New York

Blank Space - overplayed but I love the idea of Swift parodying what her critics think of her

Out of the Woods - it’s a song about uncertainty in a relationship and the ending is left up to interpretation and I love the repetitive chorus bc it illustrates the feeling of being trapped in the woods and seeing trees flash by you. The bridge has a personal anecdote (the brakes/stitches mentioned are from a minor snowmobile accident).

All You Had to Do Was Stay - about a dream Swift had where all she could do is say “stay” in a high pitched voice to an ex and it embarrassed her lol. Typical pining song but something about those “stays” sound way more painful than comical in practice.

Shake It Off - a good pick-me-up for the slow days and the only big single of hers I haven’t gotten utterly sick of

I Wish You Would - reminds me a lot of HAIM, and it’s oddly one song that I almost never skip when it comes up on my commute shuffle despite having heard every song on this album too many times. understated but solid.

Wildest Dreams - Swift doing Lana Del Rey better than Lana Del Rey

How You Get the Girl - cute but all I can think of is her cat in the Diet Coke commercial that used this song

This Love - I feel like this is the song tying the album together, it’s the most vulnerable track and the one flame of hope amidst all the jadedness that pervades the album regarding romance. It’s kind of meta in some way like it describes not only T Swift the character in the album but also possibly T Swift the person? This song is very important to me.

I Know Places - kind of a darker sound (for her)

Clean - a song about moving on from a relationship, I’m already biased towards this bc Imogen Heap worked on it but it’s really beautiful, and I love when Heap’s harmonies come in.

New Romantics - the freakin song of our generation, the lyrics are so fucking real I can’t even

misc/standalones

Safe and Sound (feat. the Civil Wars) - from the Hunger Games OST, it’s pure folk goodness

Sweeter than Fiction - the happy ending we all want. has a bit of a beach-rock vibe to it with a very 80s production

Ronan - written for a child who died from cancer, it’s beautiful and sad

Thank you for reading if you’ve even made it this far and I hope I didn’t overwhelm you, happy listening! :D