#but then I read through 1.3 and CACKLED

[galacticdrift]

Oh, Epic, honey, that's not at all how ANY of this works, but you're cute for trying.

[volleyball-dontknowher]

Riled up Ushijima x reader

WOrds: 1.3

Warnings: Lewd talk/dirty talk, implied sex and oral 

Request (roughly paraphrased): An imagine where the reader (gn) is always horny and has a lewd mouth who isn’t afraid to talk about his physique

Requests are open! 

You and Ushijima had been dating for what seemed like forever like you two were a unit that people knew not to mess with, you two completed each other and where he fell short you were happy to strive in. One of those places is with your emotions, he is very quiet and shows you things through actions and you are very vocal with your emotions and you will tell him exactly how you are feeling. This can be super helpful because if you are feeling super disconnected on things and you just tell him hey I feel like this then boom your problems are a lot easier to solve. You also like to vocalize when you are horny (which is all the time) and lucky for you, you know exactly how to rile up Ushijima. Oh my gosh, you are going to kill this man like he is not a naturally super horny guy but around you, he gets turned on super easily and he hates that about himself.  You just look so cute and then you say such sexy things about him and you don’t care who you say it to. 

He tries to tell you no which is absolutely hilarious because he secretly loves it, and how it shows how possessive you are of him and how clearly you are his but you also can’t just say those things in public so he does actually need you to stop so most days you do after telling him how sexy his arms look in that shirt or how you want him to shove his cock so far down your throat that you gag but today, today was different. You were going to get him riled up in hopes that he actually tells you to stop and is serious. 

I guess he thought you were on the same page and knew this was coming because the first thing he said to you when you walked up to him was, “Yes Y/N my butt does look good this morning, thanks.” 

You

Were 

Shocked 

He had never said something like this to you before but that was also exactly how you were going to greet him so you played it innocent and told him, “Noo I wasn’t going to say that I was going to say ‘Good morning’ like a good person,” and you smiled and winked at him which caused him to smile because you both knew that he was right. 

You two talked some before classes and then went your opposite ways and before he could fully leave the conversation you told him that you turned on by him all the time and that you couldn’t wait to see his sexy self at lunch and he just looked at you frustrated before walking into his classroom. 

At lunch, you always sat on the bench next to Ushijima and ate with him and today was no different. Except, today you sat a little bit closer to your boyfriend and rested your head against his shoulder (you weren’t tall enough to fully reach his shoulder) and just idly joined in the conversation as you moved the hand closest to him to his thigh and rubbed up and down it slowly. He immediately looked at you with a glance that told you to cut it out and you couldn’t help but smile at him as you moved your hand away. 

IT was now the end of lunch and you couldn’t help but appreciate the fine man that is Ushijima, “Do you think that we can have sex tonight?” you asked him straight up. 

His face turned bright red and his eyes widened at your straightforward comment and he just looked down at you before continuing on to the rest of the school day. After school, you ran up to him and pounced into his arms hugging his muscular chest close to you. He looked at you with a tiny smile before telling you the details of today’s practice match and when he was expecting it to be over. You decided that you were going to go to the last little bit to surprise him by watching him play. It was something you did often but he never got sick of seeing you there smiling for him. 

You showed up to the practice game and sat on the bench next to Tendou (who got hit in the head twice and had to sit out because they didn't want him getting a concussion before a big tournament) and when you plopped down next to him he couldn't help but smile at you. You sat watching the game carefully as they continued the intense game. 

"Holy shit Ushijima could choke me with those big hands and fuck me senseless and I'd thank him," you sigh while looking at your sexy boyfriend. 

"Haha he does have big hands," Tendou cackles before leaning into you, "does his…" Tendou looks down at his crotch, "match his hands." 

You look at him with an unreadable face and for a second before you lean over to him and grin, "bigger," you smile. 

"NO WAY," Tendou shouts before smiling at you then turning to look at Ushijima's…. Face. He's staring at the two with an angry expression clearly upset that the two of you are so loudly talking about him in inappropriate ways but he doesn't have the time to stop the two of you as it is only a quick time out. 

"Soooo is Ushi silent during sex? Or is he a moaner?" Tendou inquires a few minutes later while his eyes are focused on Ushijima while he asks you a very intimate question about his friend.

"He's damn near silent when we're having sex but when you take him in your mouth he lets out the sexiest groans that turn me on more than anything else," you smirk as you keep your eyes on your boyfriend. 

Tendou keeps questioning all of your sexual experiences with Ushijima and you couldn't help but answer them all while admiring his muscular physique. 

The match is finally over and the first thing that Ushijima does after the thank yous is walk over to the two of you and tell you to stop. You give him an innocent smile trying to read his expressions and scary enough, you can't. He is completely unreadable and you have no idea what he's thinking right now. He and Tendou go back to the team for a full recap of the game before they both get let go and he walks back over to you as a sign that it’s time to get up and go. You smile at him meekly before you exit the gym with him. You start talking to him and telling him all of the amazing things you saw him do and asking about what he is going to want to work on next(because he likes to keep constant goals for himself and you like to help keep him to them) and he answers you in a Ushijima-esque fashion, unreadable. 

By the time you get to his house, you have no idea how he is feeling still but he is a little more talkative than usual which was a good sign. You go to his room and sit on his bed while he gets changed and showers after the match, you hear the shower click off and before you know it Ushijima is in the bedroom in only a towel looking fiercely at you. “I appreciate the compliments Y/N but if you are going to share all of the details of our sex with Tendou you will have no sex,” Ushijima says while watching you squirm. Unable to fully process what he just said before he sits on the bed next to you and harshly grabs your chin in his hands.

“Now show me how sexy you look with my cock shoved down your throat.” 

Soo low-key think that Ushijima totally digs you complimenting him all the time and helping boost his ego, but he isn’t a huge fan of you saying lewd things about him because he wants a professional career playing volleyball and having someone know all of the details of your sex could come back and bit him. So he lets you tell him he’s sexy all the time and lets you get away with it where other people can’t hear you whisper them in his ears because you increase his sex drive by about 1000% and he is happy to give it to you whenever you want it

[boneandfur]

Wake Me Up [Carson x MC]

Rating: Mature, for adults only // Words: 2730 // Summary: Thrown into the deep end of AME, Persephone has no choice but to seek out Carson... But will their prior connection help her swim... or sink?

Persephone looks down at the gardenia corsage on her wrist, then back at the house. It's only a few quick steps in the darkness to find his trailer, but she is suddenly nervous, and without the certainty of her old life, she feels unmoored, as though she is lying in a canoe that's gone drifting from the shore, staring up at a starless sky. If she listens hard, she can hear the frogs, singing in the rushes, and feel the caress of the breeze, propelling her forward, into the waiting darkness. 

"Persephone?!" Carson's deep, smooth voice takes her by surprise, and she missteps, nearly falling off the steps to his trailer. He reaches out a hand, and grabs her waist, so instead of going backwards she stumbles forward, hands braced against his bare chest. "Steady there, sailor!" Carson booms in his announcer's voice. And then, softer, "I've got you."

Carson's breath smells of scotch, and his brown hair is mussed, as though he's been running his hands through it. He's wearing blue pajama pants, pinstriped: she wonders if he was as sleepless as she, if he lies in the dark and worries about the things he could have stopped, the things he couldn't change, and she has to press her nails into her palms to stop herself from smoothing the telltale line on his forehead; because surely he wouldn't want anyone to know, especially not Some know-nothing girl from nowhere.

But when she looks up at him, he is studying her, as though trying to place her, and she pulls away. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" Carson's teeth, too straight, flash white under the fluorescent glow from the bug zapper. "You look like you've seen a ghost. Do you need a drink?" 

He turns, without waiting for an answer, and Persephone follows him into the trailer, perching on the edge of his couch as he goes up to the bar. The interior is all gleaming marble and open modern spaces, there are no fountains here, or the heavy furniture she'd expect from a man of taste and refinement, a man who comes from her world, the world they both left long ago. 

No, this is the temporary abode of a man who refuses to hold on to the past, who is never standing still, who is always moving, as though there's someplace else, somewhere better, that he's meant to be. It is elegant, modern, and smacks of what Persephone's grandmother and her friends call New Money in tones of utter snobbery: USKEA and marble countertops, not a single pre-war furnishing in sight. 

That trademark, gleaming smile, the one that makes the panties drop from coast to coast, flashes when he catches her eye, and Carson's shoulders relax, he whistles aimlessly as he expertly shakes a drink. The muscles of his back ripple, and she reprimands herself for staring -- yet she cannot turn away. 

If he knew... If he knew that I was Fenny, that I was Tad's little sister... But she cannot complete the thought, because Carson sits down across from her, passing her a martini, so close his limbs are almost brushing against hers, his elbows on his knees.

Carson raises his glass, clinking it against hers. He's poured himself a tumblr of scotch, and she's willing to bet it's a decade or three older than she is, none of the rabble's top shelf swill. There is a shadow of a dark beard on his jaw. She takes a sip of her drink, trying to ignore the overpowering attraction she feels for him, this isn't what she came here for -- but what did she come here for? To see him, to talk about Tad -- but the words sink in her throat like a skipping stone, ripples spreading throughout her body in silence. 

"Tell me what's wrong, Persephone." Carson puts two fingers under her chin, tilting her face up. "There must be a reason you came to see me instead of your producer." And you shouldn't be here anyway, his tone implies. 

When she looks into his eyes, a beat passes between them, and suddenly she feels as though she's been thrown into the deep end, barely treading water to stay afloat. 

"I just, I... I just..." Persephone twists her hands around the stem of the glass, and takes another sip (pinky raised) to avoid answering. It's the new version of Russo-Baltique, with a bulletproof bottle, a cool $1.3 million, the kind her father used to keep in his private bar on the yacht. The same yacht they were on the night that... Persephone feels Carson's fingertips ghost over her knuckles, she's clenching the stem of the martini glass so hard that she's shocked it hasn't snapped in two, the memory of glass splintering suddenly here in the room with them, clear as a bell. 

Carson's lips are moving, but all she can hear is the sound of her father sobbing as she hid under the bar and listened to bottle after bottle of expensive liquor shatter: like the way the ice sounds when it's cracking in the center of the lake on a warm spring day. 

"Wonderful stuff, isn't it?" Carson's thumb presses against the artery at her wrist, and she forces herself to relax, staring up into his warm brown eyes. This close, she can see flecks of gold inside of them, and a light shiver runs down her arms, her body betraying her. He levels a wink at her that she's sure has charmed many a would-be reality starlet. "They call that--"

"Russo-Baltique," Persephone finishes for him, not missing how the surprised shock on his face is replaced by a wariness, and she curses herself internally. A know-nothing girl from the sticks would never have drunk anything better than Gray Goose, she wouldn't know of anything higher than the top shelf. "But I like The Eye of the Dragon better." In for a penny, in for a pound. Persephone stands up, one hand on her hip as she stares down at him. She doesn't know why she came here. He doesn't know me. And it hurts, fuck, she never thought she'd changed that much, that Carson Stuyvesant wouldn't know her. 

Nine years is a long time, Fenny Vandervliet. 

•••

The last time Fenny Vandervliet saw Carson Stuyvesant, they were on on Fifth Avenue, and he didn't see her. He was wearing a white ascot, his brown hair shaggy, falling artfully over one brow. He was piled with Gucci and Chanel bags, and just before him strolled a long, leggy blonde and brunette, Loubotins click-clacking on the pavement. She'd been waiting for the Rolls Royce to pull around, to take her up to a summer at her grandmother Mitzi's lake house in the Catskills. It was late. 

She was fourteen then, baby fat and awkward braces, her nose too large for her face, four years before the nose job that would change her life. 

Carson! she'd called, causing him to pause in his stride, and he'd looked back at her, brow crinkled as though trying to place her. Carson Stuyvesant! She should have read the disinterested expression on his face, but she'd run up to him, causing one of the girls to turn around to see what the hold-up was. It's me, Fenny, she'd said. Tad's little sister? 

Fenny... A look of sadness passed through his eyes, and then was gone, replaced by a polite smile, his TV smile, as though there was anywhere else he'd rather be. Do pass on my regards to your mother, won't you? 

And then he'd nodded, and walked on, the hot smell of asphalt and exhaust rising in the air. 

•••

"Eye of the Dragon, huh?" Carson Stewart (Carson Stuyvesant doesn't like Miami, he'd never be caught dead with his name on any other paper except Page Six) looks Persephone up and down, his eyes lingering on her bare legs in frank appreciation as he leans against the sofa, one arm flung across the back, holding his glass. The dark hair trailing down from his belly button to his waistband makes Persephone's stomach flip, and she drops her gaze, feeling Carson's amused smile. If he knew who I really was... But she doesn't complete the thought. 

When their eyes meet again, Carson gives her a slow, lazy smile, moving his forefinger around the rim of his glass. "I shouldn't be surprised that such a beautiful woman knows so much about expensive liquors. You look like someone who has an..." his eyes flicker across her body again, then back to her face. "...intimate...

knowledge of luxury." 

"That's not what I meant." And you know it, her tone chides him. 

All at once, Carson stands, and Persephone trembles a little, looking up at him, reminding herself that this is Carson Stewart, not Stuyvesant, that he hasn't gone by that name for a long, long time. 

Bitsy's grandson! she can almost hear her grandmother cackle, pointing her long cigarette at Carson. What a good looking man he is! Just like his grandfather. That's old money and good breeding for you, my dear. 

"You look cold, Persephone." Carson's deep baritone causes goosebumps to break out across her bare skin, making her shiver. "Do you know the story of your namesake? She was a spring maiden, married to the god of the underworld." He drapes a sweater over her bare shoulders, gray cashmere, the lightest touch, like a cloud. It smells of his cologne and something else, something undeniably male, undeniably Carson. "Better now?" 

Do you ever wonder what Tad would think about all of this? The words drown in her throat, and she feels as though she is underwater, searching the depths for something lost, something never to be found. "Thank you -- thanks." 

"There's no need to thank me." Carson places two fingers under her chin, tilting up her face, and she is suddenly very aware of how close they are, and how very alone. But she's safe with him, isn't she? After all, he's a Stuyvesant, and she's a Vandervliet, not a know-nothing girl from some backwater. "Persephone Dègas." 

Reality ripples around her, and she remembers: here, she is using a stage name, and so is he. Dègas. Stewart. Don't forget. "I won't get in trouble for coming here so late at night, will I, Mr Stu -- Stewart?" 

Carson chuckles. "Persephone, Persephone, Persephone. It's Carson." His lips brush her ear, and her skin buzzes. "How did you like your gardenia? I picked them out myself, you know." 

Carson's thumb pushes into the center of the flower, brushing the smooth petals apart in a circular motion. There something sinfully erotic about it, and she feels dripping wet, as if the instant he touched her she wasn't soaked. She can feel his warm breath on her skin. She looks up at him from under her lashes to find his pupils enlarged, dark, the heady scent of the blossom drifting between them. 

A funerary flower, a sacred rite. 

She bites her bottom lip and looks up; his thumb moves to her wrist, turning it over to trace the delicate skin where the blood is bluest. 

"The lord of the underworld gazed upon the spring maiden, and he wanted her to warm his cold bed." Carson walks her backwards across the small space, until she is pressed up against the countertop, his arms braced on either side of her, the sinew of his upper arms making her feel dizzy with arousal, warmth trickling into her lower belly. "He wanted her to breathe life into his dead garden and make it bloom." 

She must be imagining things, she thinks -- imagining the soft brush of his fingers against her wrist, her cheek, the way his eyes are dark as a hole at the bottom of the lake, where the water turns from silty brown-green to darkest black, where the brightest sunlight refuses to shine.

Carson tucks the gardenia behind her ear, and his smile is soft and hypnotic, so hypnotic she could almost trust him if they were anywhere else, in any other world. "I'm here, Persephone. The door is always open if you need to... talk." 

If he knew... If Carson Stewart knew that right at this very moment he entertained the great-great-granddaughter of one of the First Four Hundred, he'd probably kick her off of the show himself. After all, breeding and reputation are what's important in their world, And reputation trumps all. 

Persephone inhales a deep, shuddering breath as Carson brushes his thumb over her bottom lip, and then his mouth is covering hers, and she forgets why she ever thought leaving was a good idea, his hand on her lower back, tethering her to this realm. 

Carson's tongue slides between her lips, he tastes of edible gold flecks and peat, and he groans as she twines her arms around his neck, her hands in his hair, her breasts pressed up to his bare chest. "We shouldn't be doing this." Carson pushes the cashmere sweater from her shoulders, it pools on the floor. His mouth is on her neck, his teeth nipping at the skin, as though daring her to tell him to stop. "I never do this with contestants... Persephone."

She can hear the lie in his tone, recognizes it for what it is, and feels all her resolve collapse as Carson lifts her up as though she weighs nothing, setting her on the countertop. He pushes the straps of her tank top down, the shadow of his beard rasping between her breasts. "Yes," Persephone moans, Carson's hands cupping her ass and pulling her forward, so that she's spread-eagled against his hard length, only the thousand-thread count of their respective pajamas separating them. "Yes!" We should stop.This is wrong, this is all wrong. But when will the time ever be right? 

Bzzt. Bzzt. As if in agreement, Carson's phone buzzes angrily from the coffee table. 

"Fuck." Carson growls, as if remembering where he is, in a trailer behind the set of a reality TV show in Miami, not in the penthouse of the Waldorf-Astoria, with ten grand champagne on ice and Cuban cigars, the smoke mingling with the scent of the woman he's been fucking all night. 

Bzzt. Bzzt. 

PIPER: Pick up your fucking phone, dumbass! We have a Code Orphan Annie on our hands! 

The Bitch is Back by Elton John blares through the phone speakers. 

"Fuck!" Carson grabs the phone from Persephone, whipping it to his ear. "Piper. No, she -- she's with -- Yes, of course. I sure will. No, I don't want -- Yes, I understand. Sure." He runs a hand through his hair, completely discomfited, Adam's apple bobbing up and down. He slams his finger on his phone screen a little too hard, then turns back to Persephone. 

"What's Code Orphan Annie?" His hands are gripping her thighs again, but with none of his earlier urgency, and he pulls her off the countertop. "Carson?" 

"You are. You weren't in your room, or anywhere in the house. Somehow, you moved off camera." His teeth nibble at her bottom lip as he steers her towards the door. "Clever of you." 

I've spent my whole life escaping from every camera shot I didn't want to be in, she feels like saying. "Some girls have 'It', I guess." 

Carson's brows raise to his hairline at that, and he gives her an appraising look, as though he set out to buy a Pollock and came home to find a Picasso under it. "You're the ruin of many a man, aren't you, Persephone Dègas?" 

Without waiting for answer, his hand slides around her waist, and then he's kissing her again, deep and slow, the distant sound of the waves in her ear. The phone shrills again, and Carson ignores it, his tongue twining with hers, every evidence of how badly he wants her to stay making her insides go liquid with desire. 

"Persephone!" She hears Jen calling, as if from a great distance. 

Carson steps back, breathing heavily, and Persephone slips through the door, not daring to look over her shoulder until she reaches the gate, ducking under the lush creep of the passion vines. Carson Stewart is standing there still, hands thrust deep into his pockets, backlit by the florescent light, and when she raises a hand, he mimics the gesture, and then lets his hand drop, face half turned to shadow. 

•••

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[kierongillen]

As i’ve seen this happen more than once, what goes through your mind when a big plot twist or piece of the puzzle gets unintentionally spoiled by the fans theorizing the future of the book? Does the rest of the story gets put on temporary hold to try to figure out how to write something new or is the story set in stone no matter what may happen? If someone were to spoil the ending of the entire book completely unintentionally and you were able to experience the reaction, will it change a thing?

Oh, god, no. Never change anything if someone’s guessed something. Nothing good lies in that direction.

Why?

Okay, let’s talk - with no specifics - Game of Thrones. If you go into the depths of fandom, Game of Thrones is - to some degree, in some areas - a solved problem. There’s a good selection of fan theories (some of which have come to fruition) which have so much meat on them it was clear they have to happen, or the book would break its structure and become unsatisfying.

These twists are available to anyone who wishes to google for them.

The vast majority of people don’t. So… why change the direction of the story? What’s the point of fucking over the enjoyment of the vast majority of people (i.e. making your story make less sense, as you’re abandoning the already existent thread) for playing gotcha on a tiny fraction of your audience?

(As a quick aside - compare and contrast theorising in a fanbase with actual events in the text that’s being adapted. Clearly, anyone who is watching GoT could have googled the synopsis of the book. Equally, anyone who’s read the books knows the big beats. Does the adaptation change the big beats? If surprise to everyone in your audience is all that mattered, you would. We don’t.)

It’s also worth noting that, while obviously some complain on the nature of the adaptation, most fans of a book generally complain that they wish it was more like the book. In other words, things that surprised them (i.e. differed from their knowledge of the text) were less satisfying. They wanted to see the big dramatic beats, even if they’re stripped of their surprise.

Surprise only matters the first time you read something. For me, any worthwhile piece of literature exists to be re-read, and will open up more upon re-reading. In other words, knowing the twist should add to the re-reading of the book. If it doesn’t, and renders the story less than it was, it’s probably a bad twist - which is one reason why I don’t tend to call them “Plot twists” to myself. I call them reveals. The plot doesn’t contort. It’s merely revealing something in the nature of the world the reader was unaware of. 

(As an aside, this means that someone who has guessed successful the direction of the plot is actually effectively skipping to their second read of the book earlier.)

There’s the other side of this as well - not just whether a plot beat has been guessed, but the almost inevitability of a plot beat being guessed. GoT fans have had twenty years to puzzle this out. In that period, a mass communication device emerged which allowed fans to talk to one another and share ideas. This machine would have torn apart any plot. 

No one individual needs to guess anything. People can make one step in a chain, and then that step is exposed to thousands of minds. If even one of them can make the intuitive leap to the next step, then it continues. No one person needs to be clever enough to see the whole thing. The internet hivemind is Miss Marple, seeing through the most contorted of machinations. 

(In passing, this is one reason why Alternate Reality Games are hard to do, because the mass hive mind will figure almost anything out, almost instantly. Equally in passing, the failure to understand this is another reason why Ready Player One is bad, but that’s irrelevant.)

In other words, the reason why twists are guessable is the same reason they are satisfying. A twist that isn’t foreshadowed sufficiently to give the possibility of being guessed by someone is not a satisfying twist, as it - by definition - came out of nowhere. 

To make this specific to my own work. In the case of the biggest and most intricate of my current books, WicDiv, we sell about 18k in monthlies and sell 18k in trades (in the first month of release). That’s our hardcore devoted readership. How many people of them actually read the essays in the WicDiv tags? I’d say 500 at the absolute maximum, and likely a lot less. So for a maximum of 1.3% of our readership, we’d derail a still effective twist for everyone else? No, that would be a bad call.

Especially - and this is key - the people who have chosen to engage with a fandom are aware that they may figure something out. They are trying to figure something out. Why take that pleasure away from them?

In a real way, I think, in long form narrative, pure plot twists which no-one in the world guesses are dead in the Internet age, at least when dealing with any even vaguely popular work of art. You can do them in short form narratives (like a single novel, a single movie and perhaps a streaming TV show they drop in one go) but for anything where you give a fanbase the chance to think, it’s just not going to happen. A creator should be glad their work is popular enough to have enough fans to figure it out.

Yes, I may have overthought this.

But that’s only half the question. 

How do I actually feel when someone guesses something that’s going to happen? Well, this is long enough already. Let’s put the personal stuff beneath a cut…

I’d say you sigh “Oh, poop”and shrug.

And then you get over your ass, because you know all the above is true. Writers are often meglomaniacs who think they can control everyone’s response to their work. We don’t. We can’t control everything. We can barely control anything. We really have to let go. I’ve said WicDiv is a device to help me improve as a person? It would include in this area. I have to learn to let it go, and internalise all of the above. If I can make most of my readership have the vague emotional response I’m looking for, I’m winning.

I’ve mostly succeeded at this. I’m certainly better than I was 2 years ago.

(’ll probably write more about spoilers and twists and stuff down the line. I’d note that setting up twists that *are* easily guessable by the hardcore is part of the methodology. Having a nice big twist foreshadowed heavily is a good way to hide another twist behind it. “Hey - pay attention to this less subtle sleight of hand while I perform the actual sleight of hand over here.”In which case, there’s far less of an Oh Poop response and more of a cackling evil mastermind response.)

The sigh can occasionally be accompanied with a “Hmm. I wouldn’t have posted that” or - more likely - “I wouldn’t have posted that THERE.” 

To stress, what follows, isn’t about my work per se, but culture generally, and very much personal. This is stuff which good friends disagree with me on.

As a fan, I never tweet my own fan theories. I only tweet joke ones. Even my crack theories I don’t tweet, as they’re normally so bizarre that if they actually DO happen, I wouldn’t want to take the thrill away from people. Even in person in conversation I make sure we’re going into a deep fan hole before sharing them, aware that they may be true.

In a real way, the more likely I think something is true, the less likely I’ll say it. As this is my job, I tend to see basic structural ways stories are heading way in advance of most people. I’m a composer. I know how music works. You have a vague sense of what way they’ll go.

(One day I’ll write down my crack theory for the end of the previous Game of Thrones season. Maybe after next season, as it’s not impossible that they may end up doing it, though it’s increasingly unlikely.)

If I had a really good theory I’ve gathered evidence for? You can guarantee I’d put it beneath a cut. That’s the stuff which bemuses me. It’s a cousin of posting major spoilers about any piece of culture the day it comes. The worst is one regular twitter  trope - I’m always bemused when people do a “Calling it! XYZ will happen” tweet. Which strikes me a little like standing up in the cinema 20 minutes into a film and shouting out that you’ve guessed the ending. This ties back to the stuff I wrote above about twists being less effective in the modern age, except in a place you can control the context and conversation. People may message in movies, but they rarely message everyone in the room.

(In passing, as it’s vaguely on topic - you may remember the research from a few years ago saying people who know a twist enjoy the story more than people who don’t know a twist. Even this is true - and a single study should always get an eye-brow raise - but it strikes me as a confusion over what “enjoy” means. All pleasure isn’t equivalent, and you can only have surprise on your first time through a work of art. That’s novelty. You can have that and then gain the “Not surprise” experience second time through. If you spoil a work, it means the “novelty” experience is something you will never have. You may enjoy something more if you know the twist but you can always rewatch it to get that pleasure. If you’re spoiled, the individual specific pleasure of that first watch has been stolen.)

But that’s conversation of social mores. Really, it doesn’t change anything in terms of how we act… and sometimes, I even grin when someone gets a twist in advance. If someone gets it, great. The machine is working as intended. It’s actually kind of worrying if no-one is thinking something is up in an area you’ve set up to be iffy.  And… the alternative is worse - hell, there’s buried twists and details in Young Avengers that no-one’s managed to figure out yet.

Twist ending: oh, no, I was a ghost all along.

[thepalecrawlers]

Crawler sighting 37

"Long post, but please read. I seriously need help and am terrified out of my mind. So I’ll start off by saying I’ve never believed in anything paranormal. I’m a pretty science-based dude. I always look for a logical explanation, and I still am for this encounter. So if anyone has any ideas let me know.

I don’t have much time for leisure with work recently. Been having to accept some pretty awful shifts to get by with COVID times. So I’ve lost my ability to go on my evening walks which are a method of stress relief for me. It had been a while since I had gone on one so 3 nights ago I decided to just go for a late night walk. I put on my headband flashlight and decided to take a path I hadn’t in ages. There’s a small trail near the back of my neighborhood that goes about 4 miles deep into the woods. My plan was to walk about 1.5 miles in and take the parallel path to come back.

I make it down to around 1.3 miles (according to my Fitbit) and I start getting that feeling I’m being watched. I turn off my head light and sit still to listen. At this point I’m more concerned there’s a guy following me who is up to no good. I heard clear footsteps in the leaves off the trail and they’ve been behind me for nearly 5 minutes. I stopped thinking it was an animal or another walker and became worried. Sitting there for probably 3-4 minutes and I hear nothing at all. I turn back on my head light and decide to start walking quickly back home.

About 2 minutes later I hear footsteps again. This time it sounds different. Sounds like 4 feet instead of 2 feet walking. And it’s walking at the same Increased speed I am. I turn around quickly with my head light and my phone light and point it behind me. Silence. I get angry and yell out “leave me alone. I’m going to call the cops, and if you come at me I have a knife!” Silence. I yell again to get the fuck out of here and start walking towards where I heard the walking. About 20 yards out (hard to fully make out because the flashlight doesn’t reach too far) I see what looks like a literal naked man running full speed on all 4s into the woods. Normally I’d chalk that up to drugs but my area does not have a drug problem. And there were some details that lead me to believe it wasn’t a person.

For one, they were damn near hairless. Completely bald, pale white skin, and the way it ran on 4’s looked natural. Not like when you try to run on all 4’s and look stupid. It looked like it’s bone structure was designed to walk on all 4’s. There was no hunched look, their back was flat and they were FAST. Last thing that happened was straight out of a horror movie. I hadn’t heard anything in a while on my way back but kept turning around to be sure. With about .3 miles left to go until I was in the clear I hear a MAD dash through the leaves. I whip around and it stops on a dime. I see the edges of its head behind a tree and yell loudly to try and intimidate. What I heard next I’ll never forget in my entire life. It cackled like a monkey. A noise I’ve literally only heard in nature documentaries. The tone was that of mockery, a predator having fun with me. I didn’t stick around. I sprinted as fast as possible back home.

I’d love to believe this was some prank, or some rabid, bald, diseased coyote. But I got a pretty clear look at it. It wasn’t. It had human feet and human hands. A human head and a human buttocks. But nothing else about it was human. I called the cops after and told them a man was following me. I didn’t want to say some creature because they’d think I’m crazy. They didn’t find anything but they did see quite a bit of activity in the leaves and dirt about 50 feet from where the trail was, leading far back into the woods before it got to a large stretch of grass, where no footprints were seen."

[everettwilkinson]

TRUMP offered to meet with IRAN’s ROUHANI — WASHINGTON ON EDGE: tax bill, Fed chair, indictment all in one week — TIM ALBERTA’s must-read Boehner profile — RAND talks to KASIE about TRUMP in 2020 — B'DAY: Ivanka

BREAKING LAST NIGHT — “Iran Says Its President Turned Down a Meeting With Trump,” by Bloomberg’s Zaid Sabah: “Iranian President Hassan Rouhani rebuffed a request from U.S. President Donald Trump to meet at the United Nations in New York in September, a day after the Trump made a speech highly critical of the Islamic republic, the state-run Fars News Agency said. ‘A request indeed was made by the U.S. side but it wasn’t accepted by President Rouhani,’ Iranian foreign ministry spokesman Bahram Ghassemi said at a press conference on Sunday, according to Fars. The White House didn’t immediately respond to a request for comment.” https://bloom.bg/2iLtkgO

Good Monday morning. WASHINGTON ON EDGE — An incredibly momentous week ahead: An indictment is almost certain to be unveiled today as part of Robert Mueller’s investigation. A tax bill — Republicans’ top legislative priority — will be released this week. The president is expected to announce his choice for chairman of the Federal Reserve, a decision Wall Street is watching closely. And, President Trump leaves for Asia, amid heightened fears of nuclear North Korea.

Story Continued Below

CHEAT SHEET — GARRETT GRAFF in Wired, “How to Interpret Robert Mueller’s New Charges”: “1) The FBI takes down whole organizations. … 2) Don’t hold your breath for ‘collusion.’ … 3) There are many threads, including some likely unrelated to others. … 4) The first charges are only a starting point—but don’t necessarily wait for the dramatic Perry Mason-style trial. … 5) Bob Mueller is after federal crimes, not political problems.” http://bit.ly/2z3dWmc

**SUBSCRIBE to Playbook: http://politi.co/2lQswbh

READ THIS ENTIRE THING — THE POLITICO MAGAZINE PROFILE — TIM ALBERTA on JOHN BOEHNER — “John Boehner Unchained”: “To outsiders, Boehner might just be the happiest man alive, a liberated retiree who spends his days swirling merlot and cackling at Speaker Paul Ryan’s misfortune. The truth is more complicated. At 67, Boehner is liberated — to say what he spent many years trying not to say; to smoke his two packs a day without undue stress; to chuckle at the latest crisis in Washington and whisper to himself those three magic words: ‘Not my problem.’ And yet he is struggling—with the lingering perception that he was run out of Congress; with his alarm about the country’s future; and with the question of what he’s supposed to do next. After leaving office, Boehner says a longtime family friend approached him. ‘You’ve always had a purpose—your business, your family, politics,’ the friend said. ‘What’s your purpose now?’ Boehner says the question gnaws at him every day.” http://politi.co/2hmHb9J

— BEHIND THE SCENES: TIM ALBERTA emails us: “I wanted to write something big and comprehensive on Boehner’s speakership since the day he left — not just about what happened to him, but using his story to explain what happened to the party and the Congress and the country itself. He wanted nothing to do with the media in retirement, however, and I was too busy covering the campaign. Then, this spring, having heard rumors that he wasn’t going to write a memoir, I approached several of his former staffers to take their temperature on such a project. They weren’t bullish, but agreed to ask—and to our surprise, Boehner said he was ‘interested.’ He wanted to meet at Alberto’s on May 16.

“That meeting hadn’t guaranteed his participation — he wanted to feel me out first. Michael Steel, his longtime flack who joined us, warned me beforehand that Boehner might very well only agree to a 30- or 45-minute discussion on the record that same night — giving me limited access to write from. But after I pitched Boehner, and said the piece would work best if I could capture him in his element — perhaps on the golf course in Ohio? — he ordered another bottle of wine and smiled: ‘OK. Come on out. I’ll put you up.’

“I didn’t stay at Boehner’s house. But over the next four months we spent more than 18 hours together on the record in three different states, and the only restrictions he placed on anything were a half-dozen requests to keep something off the record. What I found was John Boehner Unchained; his liberation was apparent from our first meeting at Alberto’s. When it became apparent that night that he was willing to participate in extensive interviews for the story, Steel began discussing logistics and intermediaries to arrange things. Boehner waved him off and told me that we’d communicate directly. And then, in a move that set the tone for the piece, he looked at Steel and grunted: ‘You f***ing guys, still trying to manage me. Don’t you get it? I don’t want to be managed anymore.’”

WSJ’S RICH RUBIN — “GOP Plan for a Speedy Tax Overhaul Faces Uncertain Road: After the bill is proposed, a sweeping passage is possible, but a compromise or a total collapse could happen just as easily”: “The plan is to keep the tough trade-offs in the bill secret until after Halloween, then reach Thanksgiving with bills passed by the House and Senate and hit New Year’s Day with a bill on Mr. Trump’s desk. That’s close to financial-crisis speed, pushing Congress into a kind of emergency lawmaking mode it typically uses only when inaction means cataclysm.

“Republicans note that they’ve been working on a tax code overhaul for more than six years, holding hearings, airing concepts and receiving input from lawmakers and constituents. ‘The timeline is aggressive, but definitely possible,’ says Michael Steel, who was an aide to former House Speaker John Boehner (R., Ohio.) There are three possible paths forward: A rousing victory for Republicans, a scaled-back compromise or collapse. Consider it even odds right now for any of these scenarios.” http://on.wsj.com/2yVwGUR

— SPEAKING OF TAX REFORM … TAX REFORM 101: How does our tax system really work? Who pays what—and how does it all add up? And how does the America tax system compare to international competitors? POLITICO’s new explainer video series has you covered. Tax Reform with Bernie Becker is the first of an issue based animated video series that pairs expert reporters with Pulitzer Prize-winning cartoonist, Matt Wuerker, to provide you with a new way of digesting the news. Watch it http://politi.co/2ls0rHq

****** A message from BP: We produced and refined 1.3 million barrels per day of oil and natural gas last year – enough energy to light the entire country. Flip through our Economic Impact Report to learn more. ******

YOU’RE INVITED — KEVIN BRADY, the chairman of the tax-writing Ways and Means Committee, will sit down with Jake and Anna FRIDAY (Nov. 3) at noon to discuss the Republicans’ tax plan. The bill will be introduced this week, so we’ll have plenty to talk about. The event will be at THE NEWSEUM (555 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW). RSVP http://bit.ly/politicobrady Outside cameras welcome!

FOR YOUR SITUATIONAL AWARENESS — There are 20 DAYS with both chambers in session before government funding expires on Dec. 8.

****** A message from BP: We generated about $67 billion in economic value for the U.S. last year. Take 15 seconds to see what that means to American jobs and businesses. ******

NEXT UP… SENATE MAJORITY LEADER MITCH MCCONNELL makes the case for confirming federal judges in the National Review http://bit.ly/2gWz2Me

FIRST IN PLAYBOOK — Posting Tuesday, along with a big new POLITICO Magazine piece, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi did two sessions with Isaac Dovere for the “Off Message” podcast. On Trump versus Obama: “He has a bit of a different complexion,” she said, “whatever it might be.” On whether she’s seen a case to try impeaching Trump: “I’m not going to that place.” On cursing: “Suppose I did, if I cursed in public. Oh my gosh. It’s amazing how they judge women in a different way than men.”

On White House legislative affairs director Marc Short denying she said over dinner with Trump last month and his staff, “Excuse me, Do the women get to talk here?”—“I don’t think that was sexism. I think it was just plain rude.” “Clueless; clueless. But I didn’t say it. Whoever said it said it a little bit wrong. They said, ‘Does a woman get a chance to talk around here?’ I think I said, ‘Does anybody listen when women talk around here?’” Subscribe here to get it as soon as it posts: http://apple.co/2e2dLvm

FOR YOUR RADAR — “Russia Uses Its Oil Giant, Rosneft, as a Foreign Policy Tool,” by NYT’s Clifford Krauss: “Russia is increasingly wielding oil as a geopolitical tool, spreading its influence around the world and challenging the interests of the United States. But Moscow risks running into trouble, as it lends money and makes deals in turbulent economies and shaky political climates. The strategy faces a crucial test this week in Venezuela, a Russian ally that must come up with a billion dollars to avert defaults on its debts.

“Russia has been making a flurry of loans and deals all centered on the Venezuelan oil business, money that could make the difference between the government’s collapse and its survival. In return, Moscow is getting a strategic advantage in Washington’s backyard. President Nicolás Maduro of Venezuela was all smiles this month on a visit to Moscow seeking fresh financial backing, thanking Vladimir V. Putin ‘for your support, both political and diplomatic.’” http://nyti.ms/2ie3HBp

— NEW SUSAN GLASSER PODCAST – “‘The Russians Have Succeeded Beyond Their Wildest Expectations’: Former intelligence chief James Clapper says President Trump is dead wrong about Russian interference in America’s elections. And they’re going to get away with it again, he warns”: “Clapper is sticking with his view that the allegations are “worse than Watergate,” given that the Russiagate investigation involves ‘a foreign adversary actively and aggressively and directly engaging in our political processes to interfere with them and to undermine our system, whereas in Watergate you were dealing with a two-bit petty burglary, domestic only.’” http://politi.co/2yenXO7

THAT WAS FAST — “Puerto Rico moves to cancel contract with Whitefish Energy to repair electric grid,” by WaPo’s Steven Mufson, Arelis Hernández and Aaron Davis: “Puerto Rico’s electric company moved Sunday to cancel a $300 million contract with a small Montana firm for repairs to the territory’s hurricane-ravaged electrical grid, saying controversy surrounding the agreement was distracting from the effort to restore power. The contract with Whitefish Energy — a firm that had just two employees the day the storm hit — had drawn blistering criticism from members of Congress for days. And on Friday the Federal Emergency Management Agency, which has a large role in determining government reimbursements, said it had ‘significant concerns’ about how the contract was secured.” http://wapo.st/2z261W9

2020 WATCH — SEN. RAND PAUL (R-KY.) says he isn’t sure Trump will run for reelection, and talks about a primary challenge to the president to MSNBC’S KASIE HUNT. Video http://bit.ly/2zhrUBU

TRUMP’S MONDAY — Trump is meeting separately with Secretary of State Rex Tillerson and Defense Secretary James Mattis. He will have lunch with Vice President Mike Pence and Attorney General Jeff Sessions. Tonight, he and First Lady Melania will participate in Halloween at the White House.

THE JUICE …

— LATINO VICTORY PROJECT is going up with a new ad “American Nightmare” against Ed Gillespie in the Virginia governor’s race. The ad is the capstone of the group’s $400,000 Virginia program to mobilize Latino voters. It will run Monday through Election Day with a heavy focus on Hispanic affiliates in D.C., and Richmond, as well as primetime spots on MSNBC and CNN. The ad http://bit.ly/2b1Hcgw

— NY MAG COVER STORY — “In Conversation: Jimmy Kimmel,” by David Marchese: “Talking to the comedian and talk-show host about becoming a target of the right, not knowing if things are going to be okay, the state of late-night TV, and why it’s time to reboot The Man Show.” http://nym.ag/2loWPpz

PHOTO DU JOUR: Former Speaker of the House John Boehner relaxes in a chair, cigarette in hand. Read Tim Alberta’s profile of Boehner in POLITICO Magazine. | Mark Peterson for POLITICO

DAVE LEVINTHAL in POLITICO Magazine, “Scofflaw political committees ignore federal fines — with few consequences: Wait long enough and the federal government usually gives up”: “In July 2016, the Federal Election Commission slapped the 60 Plus Association with a $50,000 fine, charging that it hadn’t revealed its donors as legally obliged. The penalty — along with fines assessed to two other politically active nonprofit groups likewise connected to billionaire brothers David and Charles Koch — represented one of the most decisive decisions this decade at an FEC best known for intramural bickering and ideological gridlock. Government reformers rejoiced. But 15 months later, the Virginia-based 60 Plus Association has only paid one-tenth of its fine. …

“The FEC, meanwhile, isn’t forcing the 60 Plus Association’s compliance — or anything close. The 60 Plus Association has plenty of debt-dodging company: More than 160 political committees and similar groups together owe the government more than $1.3 million worth of unpaid fines, according to a Center for Public Integrity analysis of Federal Election Commission and U.S. Treasury records since 2000. … Many cases concern all-but-forgotten also-ran political candidates, but others involve political luminaries — the Rev. Al Sharpton, MSNBC host Joe Scarborough and Green Party presidential nominee Jill Stein, among them.” http://politi.co/2zZ5a6H

WHAT JOHN WEAVER IS READING – “John Kasich Is Already Running,” by Lisa Miller in New York Magazine: “For the Ohio governor, the campaign against Trump never stopped. And it won’t till 2020.” http://nym.ag/2gLqcxb

COURT WATCH — “Menendez formally seeks mistrial in bribery case,” by John Bresnahan: “Lawyers for Sen. Bob Menendez – on trial in federal court for bribery and other corruption charges – formally declared in a new court filing Sunday that they will seek a mistrial, declaring the judge overseeing the case is biased and has prevented the New Jersey Democrat from presenting his case. … During a contentious hearing Thursday, defense attorneys repeatedly challenged U.S. District Judge William Walls and said they would file a motion for a mistrial. Walls is almost certain to rule against them. Menendez and Melgen’s attorneys, however, are clearly setting up grounds for an appeal if they are convicted at the end of this trial. Arguments over the defense motion will take place this week.” http://politi.co/2zgGE3D

SEXUAL HARASSMENT IN THE STATES — “Sexual Misconduct in California’s Capitol Is Difficult to Escape,” by NYT’s Jess Bidgood, Miriam Jordan and Adam Nagourney: “Since the disclosures about sexual harassment cases involving Harvey Weinstein, the powerful producer, there have been reports of misconduct in state capitals in Illinois, Iowa, Nevada, Oklahoma, Oregon and Rhode Island, among others, though the situation in California, the nation’s most populous state, appears particularly dire. That reflects what even today is the male dominance in positions of power in government — 80 percent of the lawmakers in California are men — and the statehouses filled with lobbyists seeking influence and younger legislative aides and interns launching their careers.” http://nyti.ms/2gWsm0C

— “Florida congressional candidate: ‘I was Harvey Weinsteined’,” by POLITICO Florida’s Marc Caputo: A top congressional candidate in one of the nation’s marquee races for Democrats is accusing a political ally she once supported of exposing himself to her — and he’s countering that she might be lying to gain attention for her campaign. The lurid dispute between Miami Beach City Commissioner Rosen Gonzalez and progressive activist Rafael Velasquez — a city commission candidate she had endorsed — marks the latest scandal nagging Florida Democrats amid the national debate about sexual harassment sparked by accusations from multiple women against movie producer Harvey Weinstein. “I was ‘Harvey Weinsteined’ by Rafael Velasquez, the candidate I have been supporting and raising money for in the Miami Beach commission race,” Rosen Gonzalez said in a text message to POLITICO Florida. http://politi.co/2xyVgHb

— “Hamilton Fish of The New Republic Goes on Leave After Women’s Complaints,” by NYT’s Sydney Ember. http://nyti.ms/2yYVlpm

FLASH BRIEFING: POLITICO and The Information are partnering to offer an insider flash briefing and Q&A for real-time analysis, key takeaways, and the impact that Congressional testimony about Russian involvement in the 2016 Election by executives from Facebook, Google, and Twitter will have. The conversation, hosted by Jessica Lessin, POLITICO’s Nancy Scola and The Information’s Cory Weinberg, will detail how the hearings will impact the Honest Ads Act, take you inside the latest intel about possible connections to the Trump and Clinton campaigns, and outline how these tech giants are responding to Russian propaganda arms like RT. Sign up for the Flash Briefing http://bit.ly/2zQfeOo … Sign up for POLITICO’s Morning Tech for all latest tech news in your inbox each morning http://politi.co/2gVhVuj

MEDIAWATCH — “‘These Are Aliens from Mars Landing on Earth’: Inside CNN and Time Warner, Fear Simmers as the AT&T Merger Looms,” by Joe Pompeo in Vanity Fair: “The question has been hanging in the air for the better part of a year inside the Time Warner Center at Columbus Circle: will AT&T leave CNN President Jeff Zucker in his job when—if—it completes its acquisition of Time Warner? For months, AT&T, a Dallas-based telecom giant with no news or entertainment experience to speak of, has been evasive about this question. …

“Part of this concern has to do with an incipient culture clash. AT&T is a decidedly less fashionable operation. Randall Stephenson, its C.E.O., likes to talk (in his Oklahoma accent) about the virtues of the Boy Scouts. John Stankey, who will oversee Time Warner’s media businesses if the deal goes through, is at least from Los Angeles, but he’s worked at AT&T for three decades. The company can seem a long way, at least culturally, from the kinds of products Time Warner makes at places like HBO, Turner Broadcasting and Warner Bros.” http://bit.ly/2iewBkQ

CHRIS FRATES interviews L.A. Mayor Eric Garcetti “about being a big city mayor in the age of Trump and whether he’ll challenge the president in 2020. Plus, Frates talks with Sen. Maria Cantwell about climate change and what it’s like being a woman in the ultimate boys’ club. ‘Politics Inside Out’ airs Monday at 2 p.m. on SiriusXM channel 124 and on demand on the SiriusXM app.” Clips for Playbookers — Cantwell on women in the Senate https://goo.gl/Nw2foc … Garcetti on whether he’ll run for president https://goo.gl/6xQ1Aa

SPOTTED: former Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist (R-Tenn.) getting his shoes shined in the Charlotte airport on Sunday morning

OUT AND ABOUT — Robert De Niro, Chef Nobu Matsuhisa, Abeer and Yousef Al Otaiba, Meir Teper, and James Packer hosted a sake ceremony last night at Nobu in D.C. Pic of some of the hosts http://bit.ly/2yYPRgG SPOTTED: Fred Hochberg, Robert and Elena Allbritton, Wolf Blitzer, Reggie Love, Patrick Steel and Lee Satterfield, Alan Fleischmann, Bret Baier, Steve Clemons and Andrew Oros, Jeremy and Robyn Bash, Sam Feist, Bob Barnett, Adrian Fenty, Heather Florance, Riley Brands, Tom Nides, Dylan Glenn, Emanuel Gonzalez-Revilla, Jennifer Maguire and Chris Isham.

TRANSITIONS — Margie Omero has been hired as a partner at GBA Strategies. She previously worked on public affairs research at both PSB Research and Purple Strategies and is also the creator and co-host of the podcast “The Pollsters.”

WEEKEND WEDDINGS – ROMNEY ALUMNI — Chris Maloney, SVP at the Black Rock Group, married Britt Becker, senior manager at Asurion, Saturday at Alexandria’s Christ Church. “Guests danced the night away at historic Decatur House on Lafayette Park. … They met on the first Romney campaign, though the relationship didn’t begin until the Florida primary, right at the end of the campaign. Carl Forti is responsible for getting the two of them together. He was the matchmaker.” Pics http://bit.ly/2hlTBPf … http://bit.ly/2xw8Jzu … http://bit.ly/2yVBZDP

SPOTTED: Carl and Sandy Forti, Brian and Emily Jones, Mike Dubke, Nick Kalman, Andrew Rafferty, Anna Epstein, Jahan Wilcox, Devin O’Malley and Amanda Kitchen, Jamie Rhoades, Emily Stier, Dan Knight, Izzy Santa, Ali Lockwood, former Rep. Tom Reynolds (R-N.Y.), and JT Jezierski, Mike McElwain, Sally Vastola.

–Emmy Ruiz, a political consultant in Austin and former Colorado state director for Hillary, on Saturday married Steffi Grabow, who works in hospice, in a ceremony in Austin. Pic http://bit.ly/2ls4aEM

BIRTHDAY OF THE DAY: Andrea Mitchell, NBC News chief foreign affairs correspondent and anchor of MSNBC’s “Andrea Mitchell Reports”. She celebrated over the weekend with her husband “by going to our very favorite place, the Inn at Little Washington, where we were married.” How she got her start in journalism: “I got my start in journalism after winning a competition in elementary school to cover school news for my hometown newspaper, New Rochelle’s The Standard-Star – and then at WXPN-FM, the radio station at the University of Pennsylvania – which in turn led to my first real job as a copyboy at KYW Newsradio in Philadelphia.” Read her Playbook Plus Q&A: http://politi.co/2ltdND5

BIRTHDAYS: Ivanka Trump is 36 … Maggie Haberman … former Rep. Bruce Braley (D-Iowa) is 6-0 … Scott Fay … Facebook’s Nu Wexler … Mitch Stewart, founding partner at 270 Strategies … Paul Rosen, partner at Crowell & Moring in LA and former DHS chief of staff (h/t Todd Breasseale) … Rebecca Schieber of Locust Street Group (hat tips: boyfriend Fred Brown and Kelly Klass) … Lauren Zelt, managing director of public affairs at FP1 Strategies, who celebrated over the weekend with bowling at the White House and dinner at Old Ebbitt Grill with friends (h/ts Jen Wlach, Alice Stewart and Ryan Williams) … Washingtonian’s Laura Mullen … David Beckwith … former Rep. Pete Hoekstra (R-Mich.) is 64 … Tim Roemer, senior counselor at APCO Worldwide and former U.S. Ambassador to India, is 61 (h/t Anthony DeAngelo) … Jeff Larson, former CEO of the RNC’s 2016 National Convention … David Krone …

… Lizette Alvarez, Miami bureau chief of the New York Times … Ally Mutnick, House reporter for NJ and Hotline, is 25 (h/t Hanna Trudo) … Politico’s Bill Mahoney … Alexandra Viers, gov’t relations specialist at Boeing and CSIS alum, is 26 (h/t Glenn Viers)… former Rep. Joe Heck (R-Nev.) is 56 … Rep. Frank Pallone Jr. (D-N.J.) is 66 … Sen. Heidi Heitkamp (D-N.D.) is 62 … AARP’s Josh Rosenblum … Christine Zdelar … Connor Brantley … Jeremy Seth Gold … James Richardson, managing director at Dentons … Edwin Foulke … Michael Petricone, SVP of gov’t affairs at the Consumer Electronics Association … Romney alum Samantha Turner … Media Matters alum Jeremy Holden … Joe Sterling is 67 … Ruth Tecle … Brian Schildroth … Justin Hage … Ian Millhiser, justice editor at ThinkProgress … Lauren Callahan … Sam Bilotta … Evan Reese … Christine Holbrook … Nicholas Watson (h/t Teresa Vilmain)

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