#but then that made the paper soggy and the centipede got OUT

[fernweh-s]

I am now accepting applications for a Very Brave Bug Killing BF (or GF) because I—no joke—just spent two whole hours devising an elaborate plan to kill the centipede I had trapped under a container, bc I was too scared to risk touching it to smoosh it, and like. this is no way to live!!!!!!! 😭😭😭

[thenixkat]

More unedited crossover fic

My name is Melissa Chapman.

And until last week I could say that I was your average all American girl living in a nice house in the suburbs with two parents. Not loving parents, not anymore, but that’s more than some people have.

Then on a field trip I discovered that my friends, Jay and Kevin, are monsters.

Not like, bad people monsters. I mean, Kevin’s a really shady dude not going to pretend otherwise. And spiteful as all get out to people he doesn’t like. And I’m pretty sure he actually does have a criminal record… Ok all this is besides the point. They’re nice people. There for me when no one else had time so that made them good in my book.

But that doesn’t mean that they don’t scare me sometimes.

They look human, normal. Until they don’t. The first time I saw was an accident, some jerks decided to push Kevin into the electric fence on a field trip. More than a jerk move really. But in those few seconds I saw the claws, the fangs, and the scales. And then whatever Jay did to those guys to make them forget and make Kevin stop sparking after she got him off the fence, a thing with her voice and eyes much like what she was doing now.

The thing, a taxxon was what that poor alien prince called it, hesitated at the clicking moaning song she made. The taxxon looked like someone decided to cross a fat caterpillar with one of those giant centipedes and then made it about the size of a couch because Satan is real and hates all of us. Jay would probably call me dramatic but looking onto that round mouth full of shark teeth and those wobbly red jello eyes was all the convincing I needed to go to start going to church again. It had scraps of blue fur stuck in its teeth and I stood there frozen with the screams of the deer alien echoing in my head. As soon as the creature wasn’t bearing down on them Jay swiped at it open palmed with her stone covered hands (covering themselves with other stuff is just a thing her friends can do apparently), her claws popped its eyes like oversized zits and tore the flesh like soggy tissue paper. Nasty yellow gunk splattered on both of us.

Ever threw up while wearing a bandana to hide your face? You don’t wanna know what’s that like.

In a flash of blinding red light Kevin vanish and reformed as some big orange eyeless shaggy thing with massive claws. Said claws easily tore into the big worms and what every he’d become was fast. Fast enough to avoid the slavering mouths other the other critters.

Jay pulled on my arm towards where we’d put the bikes. Sure! Time to leave!