#but this thought wouldn't leave my mind

[warpedpuppeteer]

But what if Eddie realizes he's in love with Buck when he finally remembers everything about the day he was shot? We've seen him say he remembers things but what if he didn't remember everything? What if he doesn't remember his blood smeared all over Buck, on his face, on his hands, on his tongue? What if he doesn't remember trying to call out to Buck but only managing to mouth his name soundlessly? What if he doesn't remember the way he reached out to Buck while bleeding his life out onto the asphalt? What if he doesn't remember thinking Oh, it's him, it's always been him. I should've told him and now it's too late.

What if he finally remembers it all and he sees Buck laughing with the team, shining bright like he's Eddie's personal sun and Eddie is drawn to him like he's Icarus and thinks oh fuck. He had realized he was in love with Buck and forgotten.

And now he remembers. And now...oh.

(and he thinks, like Icarus, is he doomed to fall short and burn his wings before he reaches his sun?)

[theminecraftbee]

So, here's the thing:

Tango knows that Zedaph is this close to staging an intervention.

He lies against the wiring for Decked Out and stares at the ceiling. He should probably be more concerned about that. Early-season Tango would be concerned about that; a situation getting bad enough that Zedaph, of all people, is ready to stage an intervention is normally a sign it's gotten pretty dang bad. But he's close. He's so close. And it's not like he's worried, not anymore.

He'd been worried, once? Like, he'd been scared, at some point of what the Frozen Citadel was starting to do to him. But now that he's there--

If he's asked, Tango will say it's mutualism, and not elaborate, because if anyone stages enough of an intervention to stop Decked Out from finishing what it's started, he's probably going to scream. He's probably going to always wonder. Worst of all, he won't finish the game on time. So like, so what if it's eating him a little? Or a lot? Or basically completely, given that he's pretty sure the damage is irreversible at this point?

Anyway, it doesn't matter. Start of the season Tango probably would care more, but like, it's mutual. Decked Out gets to eat Tango. Use him as an appropriate game piece. Sometimes as a processor. To do repairs. Whatever. It's important for the whole process. And Tango gets a sick game. Which, for some, sounds like an absurd trade-off, but it's not just the game, okay?

It's not just--

If it were just "I need to let my accidentally very sentient and very large base eat me to finish the game", he might do it? But he wouldn't, like, be actively conspiring to hide the fact that he's starting to be physically incapable of breathing like, normal oxygen and stuff. He wouldn't be conspiring to hide just how literal the shop item allowing you to control the gamemaster is. He wouldn't be trying to hide how close he is to just--being another part of Decked Out. Not being a "Tango" as an individual, but being a part of the machine. Basically a really fancy redstone component.

If it were just "he's really proud and he'd be sad if it took longer", he wouldn't have hung a sheep on the outside of the building to make sure some part of Decked Out knows that Zedaph is its friend, once there isn't a Tango to remind it of that properly. He would have asked Zedaph to actually do that intervention he's planning.

He didn't. He acted like he had several more weeks than he probably did. But it's fine. Decked Out ate the fear, anyway, so he can't feel it, and whatever sense of desire to like, not be redstone component was probably eaten also, and. And.

He's not sure how to describe it in a way that doesn't make him sound insane, but--

It's so close. Decked Out is so close to eating him completely. And that should be terrifying, if that weren't the first thing that got dissolved away, if he hadn't been scared since forever. Maybe, somewhere, there's part of him that is scared. There's a lot of him that knows he should be.

But those moments, the ones he's having more and more, where he forgets he's Tango. Where he forgets he's anything but part of the machine. And he's part of something big, and great, and he has a specific use, and he's aware for all of it but not aware of being himself, and he can feel exactly how he's important to the great machine and he does his job and absolutely everything else fades away entirely and he is the Game Master and even that's not an individual identity it's part of a whole it's part of something beautiful it's part of something so, so alive while not being alive at all and, and then--and then he's not done being eaten yet. And the Tango comes in. The fear, the insecurity, the, the flaws.

And he'd just lie there, and he'd feel it. The almost-just-a-part. The sense of just--being, and not being anyone in particular, but being. The lack of self. He'd feel the voltage from the redstone wires and try to capture it again, and be unable to, not on his own.

Not while he's left as Tango, at least a little bit uneaten.

So. Uh. He told you he didn't know how to describe it without sounding insane. But he'll never forgive himself. Never forgive himself if he doesn't find out what happens when it's done. What it's like to just--be a part of Decked Out and nothing else. What it feels like to give in completely.

Therefore. Zedaph. Intervention. Pretend he's better than he is so Zedaph doesn't do that. It shouldn't be long now. The amount of time he's aware and Tango is--less. The amount of fear is--it's entirely gone now. The amount he thinks "gee beginning of season Tango would say this is a bad plan" is almost zero.

The game is almost ready to open.

If he can just hold out that long, then there won't be anything anyone could do.

They'll be too busy having fun with the game, anyway. With any luck, no one will notice.

[ingravinoveritas]

"Can't wait to see you lose" "Goodnight from me and my favorite loser"

Move along. Nothing to see here...

[fanfictionroxs]

Nominating Sand and Mew as Nick's new mothers/fathers to drill some sense into him.

[jewishcissiekj]

Asajj in Jedi robes we need so much more of you

Star Wars: Republic #60 | The Lightsaber Collection

[half-oz-eddie]

Their one year wedding anniversary just passed. Steve took Billy on a romantic weekend getaway, and days later, he was still over the moon. His skin was still tanned (and a little sunburned after they'd fallen asleep on the beach), and he still hadn't taken off his souvenir bracelet Steve bought him at the gift shop.

Their marriage was perfect, beautiful and everything Billy could have ever dreamed of...or perhaps it was something beyond his wildest dreams.

Billy expected to be a bachelor all his life, unable to be in a stable relationship, unable to be loved for all the days of his life.

Steve showed him a life he deserved, a love he deserved, and Billy basked in it every single day.

To his own surprise, he found himself beginning to want more. He wanted to get that big house with a picket fence, and finally have a few little nuggets like Steve always talked about.

He used to laugh at the thought, but now...now he wanted to share the love Steve showed him with a little bundle of joy.

He wanted to be a better father than the father he had.

He was ready.

All day, he rehearsed in his mind what he would tell Steve. "Let's have kids" or "You wanna have a kid?" Didn't feel like enough to get his point across.

He had an entire speech planned, so he marched downstairs to the kitchen to finally tell Steve how he felt.

He was nervous, and afraid. With every step closer to Steve, came a negative thought that invaded his mind. What if it was too soon? What if Steve's dream of 6 little nuggets was something he only wanted with a woman? What if his time with Steve proved that he wouldn't be a good enough of a father?

He tried to force those horrific thoughts away, reminding himself of how much Steve loved him, and how much they loved each other.

As Steve stood over the stove, cooking his pasta, Billy stood next to him by the counter, nervously glancing down and scraping at the countertop.

"Hey, uh...so...I've been thinking...and...I just...I really feel like you've changed me and I...want us to have the greatest future we could ever imagine, like...maybe...we could...have a kid? If—if you wanna have kids. I mean—I know you want kids." Billy chuckled to himself. "I'm just saying I-I want them too." He sighed. "I'm really fucking this up, aren't I? I'm just trying to say...I want...to have a baby with you."

Billy looked over at Steve, expecting an answer. Steve glanced up at him, removing one of his earbuds and smiling. "Did you need something, baby?"

Billy sighed again. Maybe now wasn't the right time. "No I just...I was just wondering when dinner would be ready."

"Oh, I'd say uh...about 15 minutes?"

"Okay. Cool." Billy nodded.

"You okay?"

"Yeah."

"You sure?"

He nodded once more with false certainty. "I'm great. Love you." He smiled.

"I love you too."

Billy rubbed Steve's back before he exited the kitchen, berating himself on his way up the stairs.

"Why'd I pussy out like that?" He wondered aloud. "God, I—I just can't do anything right. How can I expect to be a father if I'm so fucking indecisive?"

"Babe?" Billy flinched as the door creaked open and Steve stood in the doorway.

"W-what are you doing, babe? I thought you were cooking."

"I was, but I could tell something was wrong. What was that you were saying to yourself about being a father?"

"Nothing!" He quickly answered. "I was just...thinking." He turned away, hiding the pained look on his face.

"Babe." Steve joined him on the bed. "Baby."

Billy reluctantly glanced up at him. Steve pitied the sadness in Billy's eyes.

"Is that what you wanted to tell me before? You...wanna have kids?"

"I thought—maybe—I dunno. I just...I felt like I was ready, but when the moment came to actually tell you, I...got scared."

Steve grabbed Billy's hand. "It's probably scary raising a kid. You're responsible for this tiny little person until they're an adult—"

"And what if I fuck that up somehow? What if I...ruin our kid?"

Steve laughed. "I don't think you would do that. You've changed a lot, Billy. You've grown up, you've healed. You would make an amazing dad."

"You mean that?"

"Yeah. I do." Steve softly kissed his temple. "God, I never thought we would have this discussion. I'm so happy to know you actually want kids."

"I'm surprised I want kids."

"If it's a girl, we can name her something cool like Stalia or Bilesty"

"What the fuck are those names?" Billy laughed.

"What? I—I just...sometimes I just...mash our names together and come up with baby names."

Billy gently patted Steve's thigh and stood. "Leave the names to me, pretty boy."

"I—I have other names! Beversty a-and—"

"I'm gonna go check the pasta before you ruin dinner."

Steve watched as Billy exited the room, smiling to himself. "Holy shit. I'm gonna be a dad."

[skysglcw]

I’m not crazy (at least I think I’m not) but idk what you call a person who refuses to sleep even if it’s 5 in the morning and has done nothing but scroll through hundreds of posts of Blanche and Dorothy on Tumblr just to fangirl all over for them because you're too overwhelmed by their chemistry and the feeling just makes you hyped even more to the point where you can't sleep anymore because you're too excited although your eyes are burning from staring at the screen too long……

[honeycreammilkshake]

omg what if "hikaru" is actually a god/spirit formed from the thousands of souls sacrificed by the indous??? shortly after all the deaths, the village experienced less and less horrific events and even the impurities were drawn away. what if that's because all those souls balanced out whatever weakness there was in the veil between worlds? an unintentional outcome of all the sacrifices was some sort of entity inadvertently protecting the village from further harm in this way, maybe...

[michinekot]

i felt like drawing Maru but I really don't have the energy to even color this sketch.

[melit0n]

3:35 to 4:10 in Levitate is so unbelievably comforting to me. In the best (and worst) way possible, it truly does feel like levitation.

The best way I can describe it is laying in someone's arms, lover, friend, foe or family, and simply basking in the comfort they give you. One arm wrapped, gently, around your middle, fingers tracing invisible patterns on your clothes, and the other hand softly combing through your hair as they whisper soft nothings in your ear. You're on the brink of sleep; half listening to their words and half being drawn in by the comfort of the drowsy void.

It's a warm hug that you never want to leave. (catch me replaying that part over and over)

[ingravinoveritas]

Have you seen AL's latest insta story? sure, it would even be cute... if she didn't set a trend of subtly (not so subtly) commenting on his looks.

also idk if you hadn't seen this one from November 16th:

(yes it looks like his handwriting) random thoughts:

"I think he likes me" tee-hee? Much need for validation?

gurl, going without a phone for a week? seriously? how? why?

... How did you even post, if you're phoneless? or did you wait to have one, to stage this pic?

maybe it's me, but sharing such an intimate note seems *just a bit* in bad taste.

Am I being too petty? Maybe. Whatever.

(Finally getting around to answering more Asks, so thank you all for being so patient!) @artificial-indulgence No, I don't think you are being petty at all. I'm really very tired of Anna's posts as of late, and all of the above is certainly no exception.

I think it's worth noting that she posted that picture with Bernard (and all of the pictures from her Insta story) in a separate post, because apparently she didn't get enough attention, and the picture of Michael and David was dead last in the post. Which seems fitting, given that the caption on the post was a "A weekend of vanity and insanity" and the first few pictures were of her, suggesting that she was using the picture of Michael and David to get more traction for her own pictures.

This ties into your comment, @longingtolinger-blog, because she did indeed post that story calling herself a "vain twat" just earlier in the same day as the story with the pic of Michael and David:

And I had the same thought, that it seemed as if she was trying to be self-deprecating, but it just...didn't land? It came across as awkward, mostly because vanity/being vain isn't really something to brag about. Do we all have moments of being vain? Of course. But Anna seems to be making it part of her personality, and it's just...not cute. Also, in the same way as Michael calling David his lover, you generally don't refer to yourself as a "vain twat" if you don't want people to think that you're a vain twat.

That said, I did see AL's Insta story from the 16th, and nearly three weeks later, it still doesn't make sense. As you said, how did she post this without a phone? Or, as we could infer, does this mean she got that note sometime earlier in the week, and waited at least several days just to stage this picture? Also, with two little kids around, how does it make sense for her to not even have a backup phone? We could certainly assume that she did, but the story above would suggest otherwise, since Michael had to email her (which is, for the record, about the least romantic correspondence imaginable). Let's also remember that on the 16th, Michael was still in the middle of being virulently attacked on Twitter after the events of October 30th, and Anna had plenty of opportunities to defend him. To say something like, "Michael's a great guy, he does a lot of charity work, he doesn't deserve to be attacked like this." Instead, it was all about her and what she gets from him. In fact, the week prior to the 16th, she posted another Insta story of flowers that he supposedly sent her, with that song "My Love Mine All Mine" in the story, thereby doubling down on bragging about him getting her things while saying nothing about him as an actual person.

Going back to the first story above, we know that Michael has previously been affectionately compared to the Tennants' dog Bernard (and David to their other dog, Myrtle). But as you said, given AL's history of making snarky comments about Michael's appearance, it feels a lot less affectionate and a lot more unkind coming from her. What surprised me about her Insta story the most, however, was how not surprising it was, as that story is actually not the first time Anna has "joked" about leaving Michael. And given that that seems to be an enjoyed pastime of hers, it almost seems like they would both be happier and better off if she actually did leave him.

It somehow becomes worse when we see this exchange, which took place on Twitter yesterday:

(Maybe she should get a refund, since she seems pretty unsatisfied with what she's got...)

Again, I would have no problem saying that this was just teasing or ribbing or whatever if it weren't for literally everything else in this post, plus what I've also talked about on my blog previously. But complaining about Michael like this publicly makes her come across as so damn rude and ungrateful. Contrast this with David "complaining" about Michael and it only makes the difference even more stark: That with David, there's a mutual respect and affection and reciprocation, which we do not at all ever see Michael do with her. And I can't help but think that if their relationship is as great as she would like everyone to believe, she wouldn't be on Twitter going back and forth with fans just to get that validation, as you mentioned.

Those are pretty much my thoughts on AL's posts/stories from the last month. It's interesting to me that more people seem to be noticing the weirdness of all this, and I appreciate both of you writing in. And as always, glad to hear from my followers about what you all think...

[pronounrespector]

[earl-grey-love]

Ugh I had a pretty intense day. I wanna spend some time with Sim.eon, that'd make me feel better.

[nexus-nebulae]

so like. lately I've been feeling like there's some kind of Thing living in this house with me, like a spirit or creature or something, and i feel like it's been here a long time bc of how long things have been going missing in this house with no explanation. and i noticed when i got really badly sick i lost something and it made me like. sob uncontrollably bc it was important. and then i started Finding things in odd places. so i started thanking the mysterious entity. and now I'm finding More Stuff more often. and like i feel strange for believing in this entity bc I've always been told believing in pagan things is childish (??????) and feel awkward thanking it but also i Want To bc it's polite. anyway i wanna like. leave a little offering or something but don't know what would be appropriate bc i also dont know what entity this is

[lothiriel84]

Poll containing spoilers for JFSP series 9 under the cut:

[longagoitwastuesday]

I feel like Menelaus would be the kind of husband that buys his wife lingerie as a present. Yes, maybe it's beautiful and it's thoughtful enough to be her style, but it's as much a present to himself as it is for her, if not more.

Odysseus on the other hand would be the kind of husband that makes a present that is actually a part of a long inside joke with his wife. It would probably be received with an annoyed groan while he breaks his ribs laughing at the face Penelope makes. Ultimately a present for himself as well, but in a different way. Penelope retaliates doing the same thing. They've been giving and receiving shitty annoying gifs they hate for years. They both actually love it. Telemachus doesn't understand.