#but we are severely lacking in scary and mean Edgeworth

[aceof-stars]

(tw: mention of suicide) Did we, as a fandom, just collectively forget how ruthless Miles Edgeworth can be sometimes? And I’m not just talking about his demon prosecutor era, I mean also after his redemption arc. Because I was just playing through Farewell My Turnabout and watching him reveal Adrian Andrews attempted suicide in court after she begged both him and Phoenix not to… I was sitting there with my mouth open thinking: damn Edgeworth, was that really necessary??

And you know what, I love it. I love how he was ruthless in getting a guilty verdict in the past, and now he uses that ruthlessness to find the truth. Because I'm not just here for the traumatized, socially awkward, emotionally constipated, caring Edgeworth. I'm also here for the ruthless, intimidating, competent, morally grey Edgeworth. I'm not here for a watered-down version of Edgeworth. He wouldn't be my favorite character if he didn't have this nuance.

[askaceattorney]

(Previous Post)

Dear guquis,

Co-Mod: Well, that’s a relief.  I thought a mass crucifixion sounded a little dark for the Pokemon universe, but you never know these days.

(Referenced Letter)

Dear mungeondaster,

Mod Edgeworth: Wow, I just spotted this when going through our list of letters. Your comment is appreciated, though.

Co-Mod: Glad to hear it, and thanks!  I wish I knew for sure who wrote that response, but regardless, I have to agree that it was hilarious.  I almost want to see Pearl using Edgeworth’s cravat that way now.

(Playlist in Letter)

Dear bluedragoncody,

Mod Edgeworth: I’m not usually one for countdown videos, but I suppose I can check these out when I get the chance.

Co-Mod: I only had time to watch the “Top Fourteen Ace Attorneys” video and I just have to say, anyone who places Athena in their top three clearly knows what they’re talking about.  I also enjoy it when someone puts effort into editing a video (especially one that involves original art), so I appreciate that as well as his insight into the characters.

Dear Vivyn,

Co-Mod: It’s actually pretty simple.  Just click the gear icon in the top-right corner of your editing window (for lack of a better term), then go to the drop-down menu next to Text Editor, select HTML, and place the text you want to be small between the tags <small> and </small>.

Example: I’m sorry!  <small>For the way you were raised...</small>

I hope you’ll make good use of it!

Dear Anonymous,

Co-Mod: I agree, at least in terms of class.

(If we put aside her bad whipping habits, at least.)

When it comes to style, on the other hand...

Sorry, but nobody out-styles the Cykester.  I welcome any challenger to her superb styles in the courtroom (as would she, I’d imagine).

Dear Rogertheegg,

Mod Edgeworth: I’d like to have known more about Gregory Edgeworth. He’s the best Defense Attorney and Best Dad.

Co-Mod: I'd love to know more about Detective Arme’s background, too, now that you mention it.  The attitude she displayed upon discovering Ted Tonate’s bomb-selling business makes you wonder what she was like on the job.

I’d also kind of like to know a little more about Cinder Block Cindy Stone.  I’m not exactly a huge fan of models with a bunch of Sugar Daddies, but she apparently felt some attachment to at least one of them, as pointed out by Phoenix.

And to top it off, it’s the Butz, of all people.  That takes a special kind of girl.  I almost (almost) want to see what their relationship could’ve become if not for her cruel fate.

(Previous Letter)

Dear Anonymous,

Co-Mod: Can do!  His tag is now #British Judge.  With that in mind, we may have to pick something else for the judge from Professor Layton vs. Ace Attorney, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.  That’s become my main strategy for new things here, anyway.

Mod Justice: Perfect. Thanks!

Also, regarding Co-Mod’s response above: here’s an idea for the PLvsAA Judge: “English Judge” (I mean, he DOES appear in “The English Turnabout,” after all).

Dear dawsongfg,

Mod Edgeworth: ...... they’re alright. I prefer the ones with chocolate chip or from Dennys.

Co-Mod: I’m more of a waffle fan.  Pancakes are nice, but...kinda boring to look at, in my opinion.  Of course, that might just be because I once worked at McDonald’s, where I saw more than my fair share of them.

Mod Justice: They’re fine, but I always preferred the “Fast Food Breakfast Staple”: the Breakfast Sandwich. I especially love the ones at McDonalds with the “Griddles” as the bread! That with sausage, egg and cheese between them are definitely my favorites out of all the variations.

(Referenced Letter)

Dear Dawsongfg,

Mod Edgeworth: How about this?

NO!

Mod Justice: You mean Little Ms. Robo-Voice? NO THANK YOU.

Although I wonder... could the AAI2 Translation Team replace that voice only?

(Referenced Post)

Dear Dawsongfg,

Co-Mod: Hmm, how to word this...  It wasn’t really scary so much as unpleasant.  I knew Trucy wouldn’t harm me, but that didn’t make being tied to a chair and stuck in a dim, dank closet for several hours any more fun.  If she wasn’t one of my favorite cha--

Ahem...  If she wasn’t one of my favorite performers in the world, I’d probably be suing the panties off her.

Dear dawsongfg again,

Mod Edgeworth: I personally don’t mind, but I think Mod Justice was kinda like

Co-Mod: I’m guessing you’re referring to letters that are intentionally rude.  So long as you’re not purposefully insulting a specific person or a specific group of people, you can be as much of a troll as you want.  The good kind, that is.

Mod Justice: Yeah, we really need to get some more clarification regarding “Troll Posts” here. Don’t worry, they should be up soon enough after this post makes it out of the queue.

Dear Anonymous,

Mod Edgeworth: HOLD IT! (turns on this song) Proceed.

Dear dawsongfg again (again),

Mod Edgeworth: Yes. In fact, I have the full set of Phoenix Wright and Miles Edgeworth mangas, including the two casebooks.

Co-Mod: I haven’t, actually.  I might have to do that sometime soon just so I can protect my Nerdiest Ace Attorney Nerd title (which I just made up).

Mod Justice: Can’t say I have, honestly. I’m not too big on Manga anyway. Never could get into it, no matter how hard I tried...

-The Mods

[aceprosecuties]

So, anon who was super kind and donated money for my dog’s bladder surgery requested a fun and humorous Simon and Athena friendship piece!  I hope you like it and thank you again so much! <3  Approx. 1400 words

Ah, what a lovely night this was.  A clear night sky, crisp chilly air…cold enough for Athena to snuggle warm under her blankets, happy that she could finally get to sleep somewhat early for a change.  She had just finished working on an intense case with several practically-sleepless nights; Mr. Wright had been running her harder than ever due to Apollo’s absence.  Sure, she welcomed the additional responsibility – it made her feel less like a novice and more like the full-fledged lawyer she knew she was, but the lack of sleep had caught up to her.  She hadn’t even had enough time in the mornings to go on her usual daily runs!

So yes, it was nice to be going to bed a little after nine rather than at three or four in the morning.  

Soft pillows, comfortable mattress, warm blankets…it was so easy to drift off to sleep…

“Athena.”

No, no it couldn’t possibly be morning yet.  She had to have been dreaming.  A grumbled and annoyed moan left her lips as she turned onto her other side, clutching her blankets tight against her body.  

“Athena!”

“Hmm, no-” Her protest was weak due to her sleepiness, and she let go of her blanket to swat at whoever was trying to interrupt her well-deserved rest.  

Unfortunately, that immediately proved to be a mistake.

The blanket was almost violently yanked off her, leaving her exposed to the colder air of the room.  She was in only a loose t-shirt and shorts, so her skin immediately prickled into goosebumps.  Clearly unhappy, she whined and opened one of her eyes; when her vision finally focused, she saw Simon fucking Blackquill standing over her, fully dressed like he was going somewhere.  Outside it was still very clearly dark.

“Simon?  What…what time is it?  Give me back my blanket,” she grumbled, though when she lazily reached for it, he threw it behind him so that it fell into a messy pile in the corner of the room. Athena felt an overwhelming urge to throw him, but Simon was more than skilled (and awake) enough to prevent any attack.  

“Almost midnight, so we’re already late,” he said, more serious than usual.  His tone had her suddenly concerned and she slowly lifted herself into a semi-sitting position.  Athena wiped at her eyes, trying to will the exhausted itchiness away.  She yawned and stretched, hair messily falling a bit into her eyes.  

“Late?  For what? What’s wrong?”  

“Athena is your mind always so dull in the morning?” Simon smirked when she stuck her tongue out at him.  

“It’s not morning, Simon!”

“Close enough,” he replied, pointing at the clock. She didn’t even bother looking at it, knowing he was just being an ass; midnight might mark “am” time, but it certainly was not morning.  

“Listen, just because you don’t go to sleep until after three doesn’t mean us normal people need to also.”

“The fact that you consider yourself ‘normal’ is hilarious,” Simon retaliated, earning him another stuck-out tongue. “Now, we’ve wasted enough time. Get dressed.”

“No, Simon, what is going on?”  Athena’s complaint was exasperated and tired, as she allowed herself to flop back into her pillow.  Though it wasn’t the same without her blankets…she looked over at them sadly. Maybe she could will them to just float right over to her…

“You promised you would accompany me,” Simon said, crossing his arms, annoyed that he was having this conversation.  “It’s one per person, so I can’t go alone to get both of ours.  We established this the other day.”

“Accompany you where?”  All Athena could remember from the last few days were case files and evidence and witness profiles and memories of court.  She knew she had several chats with Simon here and there – less than normal since their schedules had not synced up for once – but she couldn’t recall at all promising him something.

“Honestly Athena,” Simon said, smirking.  “If this is how you are after a few days of actual work from Wright-dono, I cannot imagine how you would be trying to function working for Edgeworth-dono.  You wouldn’t last two days.”

“I would take that as a challenge if I was not so damn tired right now,” Athena said, bristling from both the chill in the air and from annoyance.  She could not deny that Simon had more work than she did – Mr. Wright was famously picky about the cases that he chose to take, while prosecutors did not have the same luxury – but he was being aggravating nonetheless.  Which was probably what he was aiming for, especially considering that even that small amount of anger-induced adrenaline had her feeling just the tiniest bit more awake than ten seconds ago.

Damn him.

“Fine, if it will stop your whining, we’ll stop and get coffee on the way.”

At this point, Athena figured she should just shove a handful of the beans directly into her mouth and then pour some hot water in…would that make the caffeine hit sooner?  Since Simon was hellbent on not leaving her alone, she stretched and sat up again, swinging her legs around so they hung off the side of her bed.  

“You still haven’t told me where we’re going,” she said, taking a moment to rub her eyes and yawn.  It was uncanny how she could practically feel Simon’s eyeroll.  

“Comic-con tickets.  We need to get in line.  They go on sale tomorrow at nine.”

She blinked up at him.  

“…What?”

“Athena, I have been chained up in prison for seven years.  That is seven Comic-cons I have been unable to attend. I will not be absent this year.”  His serious (and scary to anyone who was not Athena, really) expression told Athena that he was not at all being facetious.  “And you promised you wanted to join me, which you will only be able to do if you get up right now and get in line for tickets.  You’re not going to back down on that promise now, are you?”

Honestly, going did sound fun at the time, but it was criminal how close Athena was to breaking that promise with a thrown pillow and a middle finger and flopping back down into her bed.  She hadn’t realized entirely just how early Simon would want to line up, either.  They seriously were going to wait in line on the street for nine hours?  Unfortunately, Simon was that oh-so loving and gentle type of friend who would flip her mattress completely over to get her out of it.

It would be a battle of wills.  And one she would not win, given her exhaustion and Simon’s stubbornness and determination.

She reached over to her nightstand to grab a hair tie, pulling her messy hair up into a ponytail without bothering to brush it. It would take too long and she was in no mood to fight the inevitable knots that formed during her almost three hours of sleep.  

“You should wear your prosecuting outfit,” she lazily remarked, noting that Simon was wearing just black jeans and a black sweatshirt now that her brain was better able to process the information her eyes were seeing.  “People will think you’re cosplaying and the dedication might win you sympathy points.”

“First of all, there is no such thing as sympathy points in obtaining Comic-con tickets, Athena.  This is a war where there are no rules and the only thing that matters is victory.”  Honestly, his flare for the dramatic was ridiculous, but Athena enjoyed it strangely enough (not that she would admit it to him).  “Secondly,” he smirked.  “That’s rich, coming from someone who dresses like an egg yolk.  If you dressed like how you do in court, people would inevitably tell you how much they enjoy your version of Gudetama.”

“I hate you so much right now,” Athena said, before pulling some clothes out of her drawer. Simon took that as the sign that he ought to leave the room so she could get dressed.  

“No, you don’t,” he said, his lips forming a victorious and cocky smile.  

Knowing deep down that he was right, she stuck her middle finger up at him and heard him laugh before shutting the door.  

“You’re paying for coffee, by the way!  And you better let me nap on your shoulder!”