#but when youd hear the news that the captains having another child and its from kiita youd be like yup that makes sense

[ganondoodle]

so, inspired by the warm welcome the captain received with that rough doodle i posted, i made an updated design for Ki'ita as well (basic and with clothes)

i removed the piercings she had bc considering that they spend the majority of their time in arctic waters i think having metal directly in your skin is a bad idea, no matter how thick your blubber is; i also gave her typical white markings a green hue bc ... i liked how it looked and makes them stand out a little more

(i will not repeat what i wrote on the post about the captain but wanted to add a bit of more info about Ki'ita herself)

(i dont have ALL of their backstory done yet but) the captain and Ki'ita worked together in another organization, one in which the father of the captains child also worked at, before being betrayed and barely managing to escape, after which the both of them founded their pirate crew (possible name is the Solar Pirates bc of their solar powered boat stuff); since the captain had her daughter shortly afterwards Ki'ita managed most of the organisational matters at first, including the construction of their base on an abandoned island they had initially fled to

over the years they invented the solar powered ships that allowed them to gain control over a large part of an important trade route, leaving normal ships (mostly) alone but attacking those of hunters and similar, rescuing demons and mutants, even some humans from them, most of which also join the crew and it quickly lead to them becoming their own little community

Ki'ita does not like to spend alot of time among large groups of people, no matter how much she cares about them, and her originally being from norther lands gave her the idea to explore, and if viable, do underground missions in those norther areas to disrupt the infrastructure the hunters had built in recent years and overall keep the crew informed about things that may otherwise stay hidden; with each of their travels her time absent from the base increased but the patience of the captain is wearing thin so its likely a serious talk is underway on Ki'itas third solo mission she nearly died due to entanglement in abandoned nets made by hunters from an unknown material that she could not break, the massive scars on her tail especially come from that, only surviving bc the date they were supposed to return to the crew had passed and the captain grew to worried about her and made the entire crew rush into an emergency search, including the captain herself and her toddler, who were not suited for the cold climate just like the rest of crew, taking a huge risk that Ki'ita still feels ashamed of for causing; they stayed within the base for a whole year afterwards, not just to recover but also as a silent apology, taking time preparing herself to ensure theyd not get into a situation like that again

(before departing on their next mission the captain gifted her a sword with the blade made from the material of the net, a wooden handle, bc of the cold, and a blue wrap around it reminiscent of the captains striking blue teeth; a reminder of what had happened, a means to defend herself when their strength and teeth are not enough, and also a promise to always return again)

the oldest members of the crew know Ki'ita well and treat her like an old friend, among the newer members she has more of a .. cryptic status, the mysteriously absent vice-captain who only appears every few months or so out of thin air, throws a big party, sleeps for a few days and then vanishes again, the only hint to when they will return soon again being the captain getting noticably grumpier

(OC art, Ki'ita, she/they)

[odogaronfang]

okay here it is!!! the long-awaited (not really) masterpost of hc’s about the background characters!!!

@105ttt and i have been working on this stuff for a couple weeks now and i’ve finally got around to making it into something shareable!! and i’m excited because now this means i get to use them in fics without people being completely lost!!!!

anyway this post is long so i’m gonna put it under a readmore-

Leonel

-link’s father

-captain of the guard & keeper of the wind key

-close friends with artura and valensuela since childhood

-because of the circumstances, he’s very well-read on the various legends/stories of the past heroes

-is a stand-in father for zelda sometimes because of how close she and his son(s) are

-constantly worried about his kids (sometimes because of the trouble they’ve been in, sometimes because of the trouble they cause)

-definitely the ‘cool manager’ type of captain- does what he needs to in order to run an efficient guard, but he’s also good friends with all of them

-there are days where he wants to take his kids out to town for a family day and there are days where he wants to throw them all out a window

Artura

-the captain’s top knight

-friends with leonel since childhood; they weren’t in the same battalion until they became full knights but leonel would cut sessions to go train with his group

-specialized in heavy armored combat, proficient in several kinds of weaponry but mostly uses bludgeoning weapons

-the backup dad for vio when leonel is busy because hylia knows vio needs constant supervision

-the embodiment of the gentle giant trope- does a lot of favors for people and the castle town kids ADORE him

-always busy + always tired. give artura his vacation days please

-he has a special room in the castle he goes to when he needs alone time and doesn’t want to be bothered. vio is allowed in but only grudgingly and only if he’s maintained at least one (1) week of decent behavior

-works a lot with younger trainees (mostly around link’s age); has a lot of instructional tasks on top of his regular patrol duties

-he doesn’t take off his armor in public a lot, so most people haven’t seen him out of it. there’s a joke among the younger groups that artura isn’t actually a person but rather a darknut or one of the phantom knights animated by the royal family’s magic. (actually it’s just because he’s secretly a twink and he doesn’t want people knowing that Mr. Top Knight/Mr. Living Darknut couldn’t hit 160lbs if he was soaking wet.)

Valensuela

-keeper of the water key

-close friends with leonel since childhood; was in the same trainee battalion as him

-trained for armored combat but dislikes wearing heavy plate- if he wears a lot of armor, it’s usually maille

-can dual-wield, but usually opts for one larger sword instead of two smaller ones

-basically adopts green after the pyramid incident. just steals him from leonel. green is his son now. green accidentally calls valensuela ‘dad’ once and leonel’s parentship of green ends right there.

-appears very dignified and serious but actually has a flair for the theatrical. most people are not aware of this but his friends know.

-leonel’s second-in-command, but he’s far more task-oriented and doesn’t deal with people as well as leonel does. he can come across as a little brusque with people he isn’t familiar with so he tries not to take that role if he doesn’t have to.

-not a personality headcanon but he has a scar on his forehead from when green shattered his helmet in the pyramid. and after he’s overcome the trauma that came with that whole ordeal, he definitely brags about it. someone asks what happened to him for him to have a scar like that and he’s like “oh my son did that isn’t he talented?”

Lucien

-keeper of the fire key

-so chill. extremely laid-back guy. the kind of guy you go to hang out with when you want to do something social but you don’t want to leave your house (or even your couch).

-kinda lazy when it comes to little mundane tasks, which he caught a lot of flak for while he was still in training, but wholeheartedly dedicated to his job when it comes down to it.

-basically adopts red. they’re like best buds. red makes lucien carry him around on his shoulders so he doesn’t have to walk but lucien doesn’t mind.

-absolutely the kind of person to disappear for an entire day and when you find him again and ask him where he went he says he was in the living room the whole time

-very good at cooking, but only the really time-consuming, complicated recipes, which goes directly against his low-effort nature. he rarely cooks, but everyone looks forward to the days that he does.

-also the kind of person to “work out” by doing one push up every five minutes. the second he hears someone approaching he’ll stay in mid-push-up position and when they walk in he’ll say “one thousand”. (he only actually made it to nine.)

-if he isn’t in armor he’s in sweats. “dress more professionally” the captain says to him one day. he shows up to breakfast the next morning wearing sweats again, but this time he also has a tie on.

-the tallest of the group, which artura makes fun of (it’s all in good fun. he just makes fun of artura for being so small.)

Wes

-keeper of the earth key

-the high-energy go-getter of the group. his energy alone balances out the chronically low-key natures of artura and lucien. basically an eternal child at heart.

-ALWAYS ready to throw down. it isn’t even that he has anger issues, he just needs a way to get rid of his restless energy while also triumphing in his various conflicts, and to him, fighting (within the controlled setting of a spar) is the easiest way to do that.

-one of those people that has to be physically restrained from doing dumb things. “hey i bet i could land in the hot spring if i jumped from the third story balcony” “wes you will break all of the bones in your lower body” “and??”

-also the guy in the group that’s constantly making bets and daring people to do things. he violates the sanctity of the triple dog dare by using it literally every time. he is also eerily good at predicting the correct outcome of bets.

-learns little things like sleight-of-hand tricks just to fudge them at the end; he’ll keep a group of little kids enamored with the “magic” before asking if they want to see the finale where he makes the cards disappear. the kids say yes and he just hurls the entire deck into a nearby bush. “there,” he says with pride as he walks away, “they’re gone.” (he would never actually upset the kids. if they look too disappointed he’ll sigh and go get the cards and do an actual disappearing trick just to make them better.)

-definitely takes blue under his wing. they spar like every morning. the other links might try to go on kitchen raids without their parents’/mentors’ knowing but blue goes WITH wes to go steal the best-looking cookies fresh off the baking sheet. arcy always gives wes grief for enabling that behavior but wes knows she won’t actually do anything about it

Selenas

-another of the captain’s high-ranking knights

-the exasperated lawful good of the group. he tries so hard to get the rest of them to follow the rules but it never works. he knows there’s no point to the efforts anymore but he still tries.

-the constant sigh-er of the group. you’d think he had respiratory issues if you didn’t know him.

-is tasked with helping to keep shadow in line because of his lawful good status. he’s the strict parent who insists upon balanced meals with a lot of vegetables and who believes in a strict 8pm bedtime. he will not hesitate to confiscate shadow’s laptop if he’s misbehaving. shadow despises him but he’s doing all of hyrule a great favor.

-doesn’t safeguard a royal jewel so he’s kind of an outlier but it’s fine, everything’s fine, he doesn’t need a jewel to prove that he’s a good knight and no, he isn’t envious, no not even a tiny bit, why would anyone ask that,

-prefers long-reach weapons like pikes and halberds over swords/daggers

[all of the above-mentioned knights are collectively referred to as the cape squad by the links]

Arcy

-one of the castle chefs

-an ex-knight; had barely made it into full knighthood before receiving a career-ending injury

-decided to continue work at the castle as a chef so she could still be around friends + to provide for her daughter

-was in the same trainee battalion as artura for armored combat, so they’re old friends

-her daughter is adopted; keina is the biological daughter of a late friend of arcy’s who died from birth complications

-is actually still technically in reserve for the guard; in a state of emergency she’s tasked with aiding evacuation efforts

-she’s the most popular chef among the knights because she takes requests. there’s a weekly competition among battalions and the winning one gets to choose the weekend meals that she makes. it’s a good motivator, especially for the ones in training, and it also gets her friends in high places (:

Keina

(see above images)

-arcy’s adopted daughter

-she’s very sickly; she’s never gone beyond the gates of castle town and barely even leaves the castle grounds. the only time she’s been beyond castle town was when she fled the castle with arcy, and she was in extremely poor health the entire time.

-she’s friends with the links + erune; they’ll often visit her and bring her things from other towns (or in erune’s case, her hometown) so she can still experience new things

-has a lot of pen pals all over hyrule since she can’t leave her home to go see people- she gets like two dozen letters a week and it helps keep her busy

-very knowledgeable on a lot of different subjects! because she’s often home- and sometimes even bed-bound, she spends a lot of time reading and writing and will sometimes illustrate as well. she’d like to be some kind of professional scholar so she can still contribute even when her health prevents her from travel.

[adambstingus]

11 Popular Songs You Didn’t Know Were About Super F*cked-Up Things

The other day, Every Breath You Take by ThePolice came on the radio.

My friend sighed, seemingly enamored by the lyrics, and said she wanted that to be her wedding song.

Uh, really? There’s somethingabout the hook that’s always seemed mad f*cking creepy to me. Every breath you take, Ill be watching you? Thats not a very reassuring thought, especially not one Id want to hear at my wedding.

When I got home and did a little bit of research, it turned out I was right — Sting even admitted it. The song is about a stalker. An obsessive, potentially dangerous stalker. Yet this wentunnoticed by my friend and probably countless others.

I mean, think about how many people actually had a song about an obsessive ex-lover gracethe soundtrack to their weddings. Whoops.

Here are 11 other songs you probably didnt know the true f*cked-up meaning of, either.

1. “Ring Around The Rosy” by who the f*ck knows

To be completely fair, I dont think anyone knows what the hell the song Ring Around the Rosie is about. What is a pocketful of posies?

However, upon some closer inspection, the song is actually about the Great Plague of London wiping out an entire f*cking civilization of people, hence the we all fall down.

Yeah, that means WE DIE. Yet we had no problem belting this song throughout kindergarten.

2. “Walk On The Wild Side” by Lou Reed

While some Millennials might not know the original version of this song, theyve probably heard the bassline more than a few times — thanks to Tribe sampling the song in Can I Kick It.

At first listen, the song sounds innocent, but if you actually take the time to listen to the lyrics — youll soon understand its anything but. With lines about “giving head,” andmany other questionable lyrics, it shouldn’t take too long.

3. “Island Girl” by Sir Elton John

“Island Girl” is a very tropical sounding song — much like something youd blast at the beach while out on a family vacation or something of that nature.

In reality, however, the song is about a Jamaican prostitute in New York City. “Island girl, what you wantin’ with the white man’s world?” With lyrical contentsuch asthis, youmight want to rethink playing this tunewith your grandmother and grandfather from Boca within earshot.

4. “Closing Time” by Semisonic

Most peoplethink this song is about leaving some place that will be closing shortly, most often a bar. In actuality, the song was written about the lead singer of Semisonic’s child being born.

So, with regard to the song’s title, “Closing Time” actually refers tobeing forced out of the womb.Now pour up another beer before lastcall!

5. “Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds” by The Beatles

Theres a lot of controversy stemming from whether or not the origin of this song comes from a painting done by Lennons son, Julian, or the titles acronym: LSD. Lennon adamantly denied that the song was connected to the drug, but, I dont know, make your own call on the matter.

“Follow her down to a bridge by a fountain, where rocking horse people eat marshmallow pies.Everyone smiles as you drift past the flowers that grow so incredibly high.”

Is thisa vividdepiction of an acid trip? You decide.

6. “Born In TheUSA” by Bruce Springsteen

Every fourthof July, upon sparking up the BBQ, I get my Independence Day playlist fired up, consisting of a large number of Bruce Springsteen hits, specifically, the most patriotic of them all, “Born in the USA.”

Right? Wrong. The songs lyrics actually critique most of Americas shortcomings as a functioning nation.“Got in a little hometown jam, so they put a rifle in my hand, sent me off to a foreign land to go and kill the yellow man.” Not all that endearing about our wonderful country.

7. “Under The Bridge” by Red Hot Chili Peppers

I sangthis song in the shower of my parents’ home for the majority of my younger years. With a title like Under The Bridge and a chorus crying, Take me to da place I luuuuuuhve, I thought the song was about going to your favorite little spot in the nearest national park.

Little did I know, the song is about the literal bridge where lead singer Anthony Kiedis would meet “with f*cking gangsters shooting speedballs under a bridge,” as he described it. The song is actually about his growing dependence on hard drugs. Errr, I guess I sort of missed the mark on that one.

8. “Afternoon Delight” by Starland Vocal Band

As a youngster, I thought the song Afternoon Delight was about doing something pleasant around noontime — maybe a stroll throughthe park or a picnic, perchance — with someone you like.

As it turns out, the song is really about a little matinee sex. “Thinkin’ of you’s workin’ up my appetite, looking forward to a little afternoon delight. Rubbin’ sticks and stones together make the sparks ignite, and the thought of loving you is getting so exciting.”

I guess itreally doesn’tsound too picnic-y, in retrospect.

9. “Cant Feel My Face” by The Weeknd

Granted, its a Weeknd song, so theres always a decent chance that its about drugs, “Cant Feel My Face” is one of the best-disguised drug records circulating throughthe pop airwaves today.

While it might sound like the result of infatuation or newly found love, Weeknds face is numb because of cocaine — which the song is really written for, at least toour knowledge.

10. “Back Door Man” by The Doors (and Willie Dixon, originally)

Although itprobably could also have a second sexual meaning, the true definition of a “Back Door Man” is someone who sleepswith the wives of other men, sneaking through the back doors, so to speak, without the husbands finding out.

11. “Captain Jack” by Billy Joel

“Captain Jack” was supposedly penned by Billy Joel fromhis Long Island apartment, after seeing the local youth buying heroin from a dealer named “Captain Jack.”

Although the hook says “Captain Jack will get ya high tonight,” the song actually expresses a strong anti-drug sentiment.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/05/27/11-popular-songs-you-didnt-know-were-about-super-fcked-up-things/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/161120687072

[jimdsmith34]

11 Popular Songs You Didn’t Know Were About Super F*cked-Up Things

The other day, Every Breath You Take by ThePolice came on the radio.

My friend sighed, seemingly enamored by the lyrics, and said she wanted that to be her wedding song.

Uh, really? There’s somethingabout the hook that’s always seemed mad f*cking creepy to me. Every breath you take, Ill be watching you? Thats not a very reassuring thought, especially not one Id want to hear at my wedding.

When I got home and did a little bit of research, it turned out I was right — Sting even admitted it. The song is about a stalker. An obsessive, potentially dangerous stalker. Yet this wentunnoticed by my friend and probably countless others.

I mean, think about how many people actually had a song about an obsessive ex-lover gracethe soundtrack to their weddings. Whoops.

Here are 11 other songs you probably didnt know the true f*cked-up meaning of, either.

1. “Ring Around The Rosy” by who the f*ck knows

To be completely fair, I dont think anyone knows what the hell the song Ring Around the Rosie is about. What is a pocketful of posies?

However, upon some closer inspection, the song is actually about the Great Plague of London wiping out an entire f*cking civilization of people, hence the we all fall down.

Yeah, that means WE DIE. Yet we had no problem belting this song throughout kindergarten.

2. “Walk On The Wild Side” by Lou Reed

While some Millennials might not know the original version of this song, theyve probably heard the bassline more than a few times — thanks to Tribe sampling the song in Can I Kick It.

At first listen, the song sounds innocent, but if you actually take the time to listen to the lyrics — youll soon understand its anything but. With lines about “giving head,” andmany other questionable lyrics, it shouldn’t take too long.

3. “Island Girl” by Sir Elton John

“Island Girl” is a very tropical sounding song — much like something youd blast at the beach while out on a family vacation or something of that nature.

In reality, however, the song is about a Jamaican prostitute in New York City. “Island girl, what you wantin’ with the white man’s world?” With lyrical contentsuch asthis, youmight want to rethink playing this tunewith your grandmother and grandfather from Boca within earshot.

4. “Closing Time” by Semisonic

Most peoplethink this song is about leaving some place that will be closing shortly, most often a bar. In actuality, the song was written about the lead singer of Semisonic’s child being born.

So, with regard to the song’s title, “Closing Time” actually refers tobeing forced out of the womb.Now pour up another beer before lastcall!

5. “Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds” by The Beatles

Theres a lot of controversy stemming from whether or not the origin of this song comes from a painting done by Lennons son, Julian, or the titles acronym: LSD. Lennon adamantly denied that the song was connected to the drug, but, I dont know, make your own call on the matter.

“Follow her down to a bridge by a fountain, where rocking horse people eat marshmallow pies.Everyone smiles as you drift past the flowers that grow so incredibly high.”

Is thisa vividdepiction of an acid trip? You decide.

6. “Born In TheUSA” by Bruce Springsteen

Every fourthof July, upon sparking up the BBQ, I get my Independence Day playlist fired up, consisting of a large number of Bruce Springsteen hits, specifically, the most patriotic of them all, “Born in the USA.”

Right? Wrong. The songs lyrics actually critique most of Americas shortcomings as a functioning nation.“Got in a little hometown jam, so they put a rifle in my hand, sent me off to a foreign land to go and kill the yellow man.” Not all that endearing about our wonderful country.

7. “Under The Bridge” by Red Hot Chili Peppers

I sangthis song in the shower of my parents’ home for the majority of my younger years. With a title like Under The Bridge and a chorus crying, Take me to da place I luuuuuuhve, I thought the song was about going to your favorite little spot in the nearest national park.

Little did I know, the song is about the literal bridge where lead singer Anthony Kiedis would meet “with f*cking gangsters shooting speedballs under a bridge,” as he described it. The song is actually about his growing dependence on hard drugs. Errr, I guess I sort of missed the mark on that one.

8. “Afternoon Delight” by Starland Vocal Band

As a youngster, I thought the song Afternoon Delight was about doing something pleasant around noontime — maybe a stroll throughthe park or a picnic, perchance — with someone you like.

As it turns out, the song is really about a little matinee sex. “Thinkin’ of you’s workin’ up my appetite, looking forward to a little afternoon delight. Rubbin’ sticks and stones together make the sparks ignite, and the thought of loving you is getting so exciting.”

I guess itreally doesn’tsound too picnic-y, in retrospect.

9. “Cant Feel My Face” by The Weeknd

Granted, its a Weeknd song, so theres always a decent chance that its about drugs, “Cant Feel My Face” is one of the best-disguised drug records circulating throughthe pop airwaves today.

While it might sound like the result of infatuation or newly found love, Weeknds face is numb because of cocaine — which the song is really written for, at least toour knowledge.

10. “Back Door Man” by The Doors (and Willie Dixon, originally)

Although itprobably could also have a second sexual meaning, the true definition of a “Back Door Man” is someone who sleepswith the wives of other men, sneaking through the back doors, so to speak, without the husbands finding out.

11. “Captain Jack” by Billy Joel

“Captain Jack” was supposedly penned by Billy Joel fromhis Long Island apartment, after seeing the local youth buying heroin from a dealer named “Captain Jack.”

Although the hook says “Captain Jack will get ya high tonight,” the song actually expresses a strong anti-drug sentiment.

source http://allofbeer.com/2017/05/27/11-popular-songs-you-didnt-know-were-about-super-fcked-up-things/ from All of Beer http://allofbeer.blogspot.com/2017/05/11-popular-songs-you-didnt-know-were.html

[samanthasroberts]

11 Popular Songs You Didn’t Know Were About Super F*cked-Up Things

The other day, Every Breath You Take by ThePolice came on the radio.

My friend sighed, seemingly enamored by the lyrics, and said she wanted that to be her wedding song.

Uh, really? There’s somethingabout the hook that’s always seemed mad f*cking creepy to me. Every breath you take, Ill be watching you? Thats not a very reassuring thought, especially not one Id want to hear at my wedding.

When I got home and did a little bit of research, it turned out I was right — Sting even admitted it. The song is about a stalker. An obsessive, potentially dangerous stalker. Yet this wentunnoticed by my friend and probably countless others.

I mean, think about how many people actually had a song about an obsessive ex-lover gracethe soundtrack to their weddings. Whoops.

Here are 11 other songs you probably didnt know the true f*cked-up meaning of, either.

1. “Ring Around The Rosy” by who the f*ck knows

To be completely fair, I dont think anyone knows what the hell the song Ring Around the Rosie is about. What is a pocketful of posies?

However, upon some closer inspection, the song is actually about the Great Plague of London wiping out an entire f*cking civilization of people, hence the we all fall down.

Yeah, that means WE DIE. Yet we had no problem belting this song throughout kindergarten.

2. “Walk On The Wild Side” by Lou Reed

While some Millennials might not know the original version of this song, theyve probably heard the bassline more than a few times — thanks to Tribe sampling the song in Can I Kick It.

At first listen, the song sounds innocent, but if you actually take the time to listen to the lyrics — youll soon understand its anything but. With lines about “giving head,” andmany other questionable lyrics, it shouldn’t take too long.

3. “Island Girl” by Sir Elton John

“Island Girl” is a very tropical sounding song — much like something youd blast at the beach while out on a family vacation or something of that nature.

In reality, however, the song is about a Jamaican prostitute in New York City. “Island girl, what you wantin’ with the white man’s world?” With lyrical contentsuch asthis, youmight want to rethink playing this tunewith your grandmother and grandfather from Boca within earshot.

4. “Closing Time” by Semisonic

Most peoplethink this song is about leaving some place that will be closing shortly, most often a bar. In actuality, the song was written about the lead singer of Semisonic’s child being born.

So, with regard to the song’s title, “Closing Time” actually refers tobeing forced out of the womb.Now pour up another beer before lastcall!

5. “Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds” by The Beatles

Theres a lot of controversy stemming from whether or not the origin of this song comes from a painting done by Lennons son, Julian, or the titles acronym: LSD. Lennon adamantly denied that the song was connected to the drug, but, I dont know, make your own call on the matter.

“Follow her down to a bridge by a fountain, where rocking horse people eat marshmallow pies.Everyone smiles as you drift past the flowers that grow so incredibly high.”

Is thisa vividdepiction of an acid trip? You decide.

6. “Born In TheUSA” by Bruce Springsteen

Every fourthof July, upon sparking up the BBQ, I get my Independence Day playlist fired up, consisting of a large number of Bruce Springsteen hits, specifically, the most patriotic of them all, “Born in the USA.”

Right? Wrong. The songs lyrics actually critique most of Americas shortcomings as a functioning nation.“Got in a little hometown jam, so they put a rifle in my hand, sent me off to a foreign land to go and kill the yellow man.” Not all that endearing about our wonderful country.

7. “Under The Bridge” by Red Hot Chili Peppers

I sangthis song in the shower of my parents’ home for the majority of my younger years. With a title like Under The Bridge and a chorus crying, Take me to da place I luuuuuuhve, I thought the song was about going to your favorite little spot in the nearest national park.

Little did I know, the song is about the literal bridge where lead singer Anthony Kiedis would meet “with f*cking gangsters shooting speedballs under a bridge,” as he described it. The song is actually about his growing dependence on hard drugs. Errr, I guess I sort of missed the mark on that one.

8. “Afternoon Delight” by Starland Vocal Band

As a youngster, I thought the song Afternoon Delight was about doing something pleasant around noontime — maybe a stroll throughthe park or a picnic, perchance — with someone you like.

As it turns out, the song is really about a little matinee sex. “Thinkin’ of you’s workin’ up my appetite, looking forward to a little afternoon delight. Rubbin’ sticks and stones together make the sparks ignite, and the thought of loving you is getting so exciting.”

I guess itreally doesn’tsound too picnic-y, in retrospect.

9. “Cant Feel My Face” by The Weeknd

Granted, its a Weeknd song, so theres always a decent chance that its about drugs, “Cant Feel My Face” is one of the best-disguised drug records circulating throughthe pop airwaves today.

While it might sound like the result of infatuation or newly found love, Weeknds face is numb because of cocaine — which the song is really written for, at least toour knowledge.

10. “Back Door Man” by The Doors (and Willie Dixon, originally)

Although itprobably could also have a second sexual meaning, the true definition of a “Back Door Man” is someone who sleepswith the wives of other men, sneaking through the back doors, so to speak, without the husbands finding out.

11. “Captain Jack” by Billy Joel

“Captain Jack” was supposedly penned by Billy Joel fromhis Long Island apartment, after seeing the local youth buying heroin from a dealer named “Captain Jack.”

Although the hook says “Captain Jack will get ya high tonight,” the song actually expresses a strong anti-drug sentiment.

Source: http://allofbeer.com/2017/05/27/11-popular-songs-you-didnt-know-were-about-super-fcked-up-things/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2017/05/27/11-popular-songs-you-didnt-know-were-about-super-fcked-up-things/

[allofbeercom]

11 Popular Songs You Didn’t Know Were About Super F*cked-Up Things

The other day, Every Breath You Take by ThePolice came on the radio.

My friend sighed, seemingly enamored by the lyrics, and said she wanted that to be her wedding song.

Uh, really? There’s somethingabout the hook that’s always seemed mad f*cking creepy to me. Every breath you take, Ill be watching you? Thats not a very reassuring thought, especially not one Id want to hear at my wedding.

When I got home and did a little bit of research, it turned out I was right — Sting even admitted it. The song is about a stalker. An obsessive, potentially dangerous stalker. Yet this wentunnoticed by my friend and probably countless others.

I mean, think about how many people actually had a song about an obsessive ex-lover gracethe soundtrack to their weddings. Whoops.

Here are 11 other songs you probably didnt know the true f*cked-up meaning of, either.

1. “Ring Around The Rosy” by who the f*ck knows

To be completely fair, I dont think anyone knows what the hell the song Ring Around the Rosie is about. What is a pocketful of posies?

However, upon some closer inspection, the song is actually about the Great Plague of London wiping out an entire f*cking civilization of people, hence the we all fall down.

Yeah, that means WE DIE. Yet we had no problem belting this song throughout kindergarten.

2. “Walk On The Wild Side” by Lou Reed

While some Millennials might not know the original version of this song, theyve probably heard the bassline more than a few times — thanks to Tribe sampling the song in Can I Kick It.

At first listen, the song sounds innocent, but if you actually take the time to listen to the lyrics — youll soon understand its anything but. With lines about “giving head,” andmany other questionable lyrics, it shouldn’t take too long.

3. “Island Girl” by Sir Elton John

“Island Girl” is a very tropical sounding song — much like something youd blast at the beach while out on a family vacation or something of that nature.

In reality, however, the song is about a Jamaican prostitute in New York City. “Island girl, what you wantin’ with the white man’s world?” With lyrical contentsuch asthis, youmight want to rethink playing this tunewith your grandmother and grandfather from Boca within earshot.

4. “Closing Time” by Semisonic

Most peoplethink this song is about leaving some place that will be closing shortly, most often a bar. In actuality, the song was written about the lead singer of Semisonic’s child being born.

So, with regard to the song’s title, “Closing Time” actually refers tobeing forced out of the womb.Now pour up another beer before lastcall!

5. “Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds” by The Beatles

Theres a lot of controversy stemming from whether or not the origin of this song comes from a painting done by Lennons son, Julian, or the titles acronym: LSD. Lennon adamantly denied that the song was connected to the drug, but, I dont know, make your own call on the matter.

“Follow her down to a bridge by a fountain, where rocking horse people eat marshmallow pies.Everyone smiles as you drift past the flowers that grow so incredibly high.”

Is thisa vividdepiction of an acid trip? You decide.

6. “Born In TheUSA” by Bruce Springsteen

Every fourthof July, upon sparking up the BBQ, I get my Independence Day playlist fired up, consisting of a large number of Bruce Springsteen hits, specifically, the most patriotic of them all, “Born in the USA.”

Right? Wrong. The songs lyrics actually critique most of Americas shortcomings as a functioning nation.“Got in a little hometown jam, so they put a rifle in my hand, sent me off to a foreign land to go and kill the yellow man.” Not all that endearing about our wonderful country.

7. “Under The Bridge” by Red Hot Chili Peppers

I sangthis song in the shower of my parents’ home for the majority of my younger years. With a title like Under The Bridge and a chorus crying, Take me to da place I luuuuuuhve, I thought the song was about going to your favorite little spot in the nearest national park.

Little did I know, the song is about the literal bridge where lead singer Anthony Kiedis would meet “with f*cking gangsters shooting speedballs under a bridge,” as he described it. The song is actually about his growing dependence on hard drugs. Errr, I guess I sort of missed the mark on that one.

8. “Afternoon Delight” by Starland Vocal Band

As a youngster, I thought the song Afternoon Delight was about doing something pleasant around noontime — maybe a stroll throughthe park or a picnic, perchance — with someone you like.

As it turns out, the song is really about a little matinee sex. “Thinkin’ of you’s workin’ up my appetite, looking forward to a little afternoon delight. Rubbin’ sticks and stones together make the sparks ignite, and the thought of loving you is getting so exciting.”

I guess itreally doesn’tsound too picnic-y, in retrospect.

9. “Cant Feel My Face” by The Weeknd

Granted, its a Weeknd song, so theres always a decent chance that its about drugs, “Cant Feel My Face” is one of the best-disguised drug records circulating throughthe pop airwaves today.

While it might sound like the result of infatuation or newly found love, Weeknds face is numb because of cocaine — which the song is really written for, at least toour knowledge.

10. “Back Door Man” by The Doors (and Willie Dixon, originally)

Although itprobably could also have a second sexual meaning, the true definition of a “Back Door Man” is someone who sleepswith the wives of other men, sneaking through the back doors, so to speak, without the husbands finding out.

11. “Captain Jack” by Billy Joel

“Captain Jack” was supposedly penned by Billy Joel fromhis Long Island apartment, after seeing the local youth buying heroin from a dealer named “Captain Jack.”

Although the hook says “Captain Jack will get ya high tonight,” the song actually expresses a strong anti-drug sentiment.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/05/27/11-popular-songs-you-didnt-know-were-about-super-fcked-up-things/