#but yeah AAAAAAAAH I FREAKING LOVE HIM!!! I FREAKING LOVE THIS GHOST!!!

[ghosts-and-blue-sweaters]

Please scream about Ghostbur to me.

Coming soon: me screaming about Halo

OKAY here goes nothing !!

Also this is one of my favorite gifs :)

ANYWAY! MOVING ON TO THE!! RAMBLE!!!

Okayokay I just recently had an epiphany in regards to Ghostbur + the rampant mischaracterization that the fandom gives to him, and the epiphany is this: Ghostbur is an extremely multi-faceted character.

That doesn’t sound too monumental on its own—well-written characters should be multi-faceted!—but with Ghostbur, I feel like it’s much more extreme… which also makes him more confusing.

It’s so freakin rare to find anyone who actually understands Ghostbur’s character & doesn’t wildly mischaracterize him/have a super strange idea of who he is, and for the longest time I couldn’t understand it! I chalked it up to fans being unable to actually look at his character and dig deeper, or only being able to see a very surface-level Ghostbur, but now I think it’s a little different than that :0

Ghostbur is a very complex little guy—which most people don’t realize! He’s mature but also childish, and he’s happy but also depressed, and he cares so deeply for everything but he also doesn’t value his own life, and he wants to die but he’s scared of death. It all sounds very contradictory, but if you understand his character then you realize it makes sense!

And I’m pretty darn certain that the reason fans misinterpret him so much is because they’re only paying attention to one of his many facets!! Rather than seeing All of Ghostbur’s facets and quirks, they only focus on one, and the result is a very very mischaracterized ghost.

There’s a big issue when it comes to infantalizing Ghostbur; it’s definitely the most common mischaracterization I’ve seen. And I think the reason it’s so rampant is because it’s… sort of grounded in truth? Ghostbur is very whimsical and silly and smiley, and he does quite a few things that would be seen as childish—things such as refusing to talk/think about sad things, only focusing on “happy” things, deriving the most fulfillment and satisfaction from simple tasks, etc etc. I don’t think it’s wrong to say that Ghostbur has childish traits! Not wrong at all!! It’s an important part of his character, I fully believe that!

The problem comes when people only see Ghostbur as childish. When they only pay attention to his sillier aspects. When they cannot understand that yes, parts of Ghostbur are childish, but he is still an adult and he’s really quite mature!!

Another mischaracterization I’ve seen, though not as frequently, is sort of… I guess “dark Ghostbur” would be the best way to put it; they think of Ghostbur as creepy, as unsettling, as dead, as unnatural, as disturbing. They see him as something wrong, as something that is not supposed to be moving and talking and smiling. Someone who watches pleasantly as terrible things happen all around, someone who’s ready to kill and torture. Basically, this version of Ghostbur leans more into the ghost aspect—specifically, a creepy, supernatural ghost who’s clearly, undeniably inhuman.

This, again, is founded on a bit of truth! Ghostbur has definitely done or said creepy things—most notably whenever he talks about death. He’ll say things like, “Alivebur blew up the nation and killed everyone, it looks like Tommy killed himself, I want to die” and he will say it all in an easy, pleasant, smiling tone of voice, as if he sees absolutely nothing disturbing about the subject matter.

But the problem happens when fans only see this side of his personality, and make it into his entire personality. Because truth is, Ghostbur isn’t a generally creepy character! He’s super sweet and wants to help people, and he’s always looking for the good in others. He just happens to also have a bit of an unsettling side to him, but that is by no means reflective of his whole entire personality, and shouldn’t be viewed as such!

The many complexities of Ghostbur is something I could literally go on and on about, but this kinda scratches the surface of what I mean. He has so many wonderful sides to his beautiful & unique personality, and I think most fans are incapable of understanding all of them :( It’s very unfortunate, because he really is SUCH an amazing character!! He’s incredible!!! He does not deserve how the fandom treats him, not at all.

[swanqueeneverafter]

What Dreams May Come, Pt.12

Storybrooke. Swan-Mills House. Guest Room. (Robin Hood is pacing back and forth when Regina enters the room.) Regina: "You're lucky I was already planning on doing laundry when I bumped into you." Robin Hood: "Lucky? You prevented me from killing Nottingham." Regina: "I stopped you doing something you'd regret." Robin Hood: "Who says I'd regret it?" Regina: (Sighs:) "Well, trust me, someday you would. (When Robin flexes his hand, she notices the injury:) Here, let me see your hand." Robin Hood: "No, it's fine." Regina: "Okay then. Anyway I, brought you your clothes, blood free." Robin Hood: (Nods:) "Thank you." (Regina places the clothes on a chair, turns and leaves the room.) Dining Room. (Snow White and Regina discuss Robin's sudden reappearance in Storybrooke.) Snow White: "Regina, what were you thinking? How could you bring him here?" Regina: "It was either this or let him murder a man in the middle of Main Street." Snow White: "But you don't know who he is. Looking like Robin Hood doesn't make him the same person. Trust me, I once kissed David's twin. World of difference." Regina: "We've barely even talked." Snow White: "Well, there's some things you should probably tell him. Like, for example he has a daughter." Regina: "She's not his daughter." Snow White: "Exactly my point! They're different people." Regina: "I know the man in there isn't our Robin Hood. Our Robin is dead. Which is exactly why I told Alice to find my niece and keep her busy until we find out who or what this person is." Snow White: "It sounds as though you have some theories?" Regina: "My initial thought was that maybe this could've been our Robin. When Henry brought him back temporarily to speak with his daughter and take the Author's pen, maybe he somehow stayed in our world." Snow White: "But now?" Regina: (Shaking her head:) "This Robin doesn't know anything about us or Storybrooke. It's like he's straight out of..." Snow White: "Regina?" Regina: (Realising something:) "I have to call Emma. The search for Greg Mendell will have to wait, this is more important right now." Henry's Dreamscape. Kingdom of Valencia. Madelena's Chambers. (Henry and Madelena sit across from each other, beside a roaring fire.) Queen Madelena: "As I was saying, I have a plan that will allow me to remain as queen, and you will be well taken care of as my... Special companion." Henry: "Your boy toy, you mean. Is that how you see me? Hmm? As some well-groomed, ruggedly handsome, yet oddly delicate-featured plaything?" Queen Madelena: "Yeah. But, if you're the sort of man who needs romancing, I can certainly do that." Henry: (As music starts to play:) "Oh, no." Queen Madelena: ♪ I want you, I need you ♪ ♪ You cut me, and I bleed you ♪ ♪ You're like some kind of sonnet ♪ ♪ All I want to do is read you ♪ ♪ And (Hesitating:) I love you ♪ Henry: (Unimpressed:) “Uh huh.” (Madelena stands and crosses over to Henry.) Queen Madelena: ♪ I mean I (Almost gagging on the word:) love you ♪ Henry: “Yes. Thanks.” Queen Madelena: (Putting her hands on his shoulders:)  ♪ I said I love you ♪ Henry: “Yes, and you’re clearly sincere about it.” Queen Madelena: (Pulling him up out of his chair:) ♪ Dance with me ♪ (In hold, moves them to stand in front of a mirror:) ♪ Can't you see how freaking gorgeous we look? ♪ (Leading him across the floor, dancing:) ♪ Can't you feel the frantic beat of our hearts ♪ ♪ As our various parts rub with such delicious friction? ♪ ♪ Dance with me ♪ ♪ Why not finish what's already begun? ♪ Henry: ♪ So, what you're saying is you love me ♪ Queen Madelena: ♪ I love you ♪ Henry: ♪ Really love me ♪ Queen Madelena: ♪ I love you ♪ ♪ As much as someone like me can love anyone ♪ (Henry holds on to Madelena as she goes into a deep dip.) Queen Madelena: (Upside down:) “Does that clear things up for you?” Henry: (Letting go of her hands as she drops to the floor:) “Yeah, got it. Thanks.”

Castle Courtyard. Gallows. (Three men stand at the gallows ready to be executed. One of them, The Chef, with noose still around his neck has just finished telling the King of Madelena's betrayal.) King Richard: "Are you hearing this, Gareth? My own wife tries to trick me into killing my favorite chef so she can save the hero. (To Chef:) You sure it was her? Pretty girl, tiny waist, big eyes?” Chef: “Definitely, My King.” King Richard: (Scoffs:) “No one has it as bad as I do, Gareth. No one!” (The King slams his hand down in frustration, triggering a lever that executes Prisoner 1.) Prisoner 1: “Aaaaaaaah!” Gareth: "Uh... Don't worry." King Richard: "Why do I continually allow people to treat me this way? Oh, come on. Forget I'm your king and talk to me like your friend." Gareth: "All right. You keep acting like a prat. You need to be more of a geezer. You know, I've tried to tell you time and time again. You don't turn your ear." King Richard: "Oh, Gareth. I can't understand a word you say. Let me ask you this, then. (Thoughtlessly tapping the second lever:) Do you like me, Gareth? I mean, you know, as a... as a person?" (The King turns back to face Gareth to gauge his reaction, leaning on the second lever as he does, executing Prisoner 2.) Prisoner 2: "Aaaaaaah!" (Before Gareth can answer, a Page whispers something in his ear.) Gareth: "I gotta go. My queen needs me." King Richard: "Your queen? Mm. (Turns to the Chef:) Are you hearing this? Now it's his queen. Fine. Go ahead. Leave me, too. Be that guy. Go. Go." Gareth: "Yeah, okay." (Leaves.) King Richard: "Why am I like this? Why do I continually allow people to treat me this way?" Chef: (Just before the King can hit the third lever:) "Sire!" King Richard: "Hmm?" Chef: "I-I think I know something that may help you." King Richard: "Really? What?" Chef: "A-a nice full stomach. It always makes things better." King Richard: "Oh, Chef. What would I do without you?" (The King leaves the gallows and, sighing with relief, the Chef removes the noose and follows quickly after him.) Storybrooke. The Charmings' House. (David and Hook stand in front of David's investigation board.) David: "I'm glad you're here. I need your help. Tell me if you see anything, any connections, patterns." Hook: "All this because of a blasted coin?" David: "Look, I tried to fight it, but something... something happened. I saw my father's ghost." Hook: (Skeptically:) "You entirely sure about that?" David: "Yes, I'm sure. And don't tell me I need more sleep. I've had plenty, and I still saw him right outside, staring at me. I'd given up on him, Hook. What kind of son does that?" Hook: "A son with a family of his own." David: "I can't abandon one family for another. My father was a weak man, but he's still my father and he deserves justice. Now will you help me?" Hook: "Perhaps Emma would be better-suited to help. She's sheriff, after all, and Savior, and she has, you know, magic." David: "No, no, don't call Emma. I don't want to worry her or Snow. What I might have to do, they wouldn't approve of." Hook: "But you think I would?" David: "You're a pirate, and a pirate's what I need. Come on. You gave me an idea."

Swan-Mills House. (Robin Hood is looking through the Storybook.) Robin Hood: "So, everybody in this book lives here, in Storybrooke?" Regina: (Nods:) "Most of them. What we'd like to know is... how far along you are." Robin Hood: "Excuse me?" Regina: "Before you came here, what's the last thing you remember? What was your life like, were you married?" Robin Hood: (Scoffs:) "Married? No, I don't think so." Emma: (Sitting forward in her chair:) "Okay, well that at least gives us some sort of timeline." Robin Hood: (Confused:) "A timeline?" Regina: (Gently takes the Storybook from him:) "Sorry, it's not a good idea to know too much about your future." Robin Hood: "I see." Emma: (To Robin:) "Could you excuse us a moment? (Emma, Regina and Zelena all get up and move to another room:) So, we know that this Robin isn't from our dreamscape, the timeline doesn't fit." Zelena: "I'm sorry, you two were having a shared dream about Robin Hood?" Emma: "No... well not exactly. We were... It was..." Regina: (Firmly:) "Private." Zelena: "I see. So you two had a dreamscape sexcapade and somehow Robin Hood turns up in Storybrooke?" Emma: "Look, we already told you it can't have been that. In our dream Robin was already married to Marian." Regina: "If indeed that was Marian. Let's not rule out the possibility that it could've been you, Zelena." Zelena: (Scoffs:) "I think I would've remembered being part of one of your trysts, thanks." Regina: "Well what was your dreamscape about? What did you do there?" Zelena: (Hesitates:) "Mine? It was... mine was... Nevermind! I went into my dreamscape alone, it's you two that must've caused all this." Emma: "Sure, blame us, why not." Zelena: "Well no one else has a history of merging realms do they? I think, you two had some earth shattering sex, somehow that sent the dream world haywire and Robin is the result. And now he's stuck here walking the streets of Storybrooke." (Emma and Regina look to each other, considering this chain of events.) Regina: "If that really is the case, then the solution should be straight forward. We take Robin to Xanax's laboratory, he goes through the door and back into the dream world where he belongs." Emma: "Do you think it'll be that simple?" Regina: (Shrugs:) "Is anything ever that simple?" Zelena: "Yeah, well you better hope it works before his daughter bumps into him in the street and decides she wants him to stay." Regina: "He's not-" Robin Hood: (Entering the room:) "Excuse me? (All three women turn to look at him:) Did you say I have a daughter?" Storybrooke. Main Street. (In an attempt to keep Robin busy, Alice has asked her out on a 'day date'.) Robin: "So, remind me never to play 'Clue' with you." Alice: "Why's that?" Robin: "Well, apparently, it was Ms. Scarlett, in the shipping container, with a gun.” (They walk over to a vendor and Robin asks for two candy apples.) Alice: (Groans:) “I still can't believe it happened. Luckily, Rumple's alright and Belle's being really cool about it. She said she told Rumple to get rid of that gun several times. She’s more angry at him, than me.” Robin: (Offering an apple to Alice:) "Here, try this." (They continue walking as Alice tries the apple.) Alice: (Taking a bite:) "This is the most delicious thing I've ever eaten. I had no idea you could candy on fruit." Robin: "You can put candy on anything if you try hard enough. It's a worthy goal." Alice: "So, what's next?" Robin: "Actually, that's up to you. It's your turn, show me something you like." Alice: "I know just the place." (Alice offers her arm and Robin takes it.)

Henry's Dreamscape. Kingdom of Valencia. (Queen Madelena leads Henry down the steps towards the dungeons.) Henry: "Um, why are we back in the dungeon?" Queen Madelena: "Just wait here. I'll come get you when it's time. Someone's coming to help execute my plan." Guard: (Pushing Henry inside:) "Move along." Dungeons. (Ella sees Henry and runs to him.) Ella: "Henry! I thought you were dead." Henry: "No but, given my choices, I haven't ruled that option out." Ella: "Queen Madelena, you have me, you have the jewel. Now you must release my people." Queen Madelena: "Must I?" Ella: "Yes. You have to." Queen Madelena: "Have I?" Ella: "Yes." Queen Madelena: "Really?" Ella: "Why are you just repeating everything I say as a question?" Queen Madelena: "Am I just repeating everything you say as a question?" Ella: "You... Don't hear it?" (Several prisoners mutter their agreement with Ella.) Henry: "You're sort of doing it a little bit." Ella: "I must speak with King Richard." Queen Madelena: "My dear girl... I am not King Richard, but I will enjoy killing you just the same. (Suddenly, Madelena grabs Henry and gives him a prolonged kiss, shoving him away when Gareth enters the dungeons:) Ah, Gareth. (Points to Ella:) Cut her face. Torture the rest." Gareth: (As Henry and Ella are taken back to their cells:) "Excuse me?" Queen Madelena: "I said torture them. Is there a problem?" Gareth: "No. There's not a problem. I like torturing. I'm pretty good at it. I once kept a guy alive for a week, and he was just a head and a finger. But that order came from the king, and I serve My King.” Queen Madelena: “Your king is weak, Gareth. You know this. He cries like a baby, he cares like a woman. He makes decoupage footstools as a hobby.” Gareth: “Hey! That was a birthday present. He got me that so I could have a sit down.” Queen Madelena: “You're a dog, Gareth. And a dog needs a strong master. Now sic 'em.” Storybrooke. Regina's Vault. (Zelena has brought Robin Hood to her sister's vault to clear the air.) Zelena: "Right, now that we're in a safe, secure location, we need to talk." Robin Hood: "I'm listening." Zelena: (Sighs:) "The other Robin, the one we knew here in Storybrooke, he had a child. Well, two, actually, but only one is here. A daughter. But, I mean, she's not yours. Not really." Robin Hood: "Does the mother know that? Who even is the mother?" Zelena: "I am. Our relationship, me and the other Robin that is, was complicated." Robin Hood: "Apparently, everything here is complicated." Zelena: (Smiles:) "I'll give you that. (Curiously:) Were you really going to kill Nottingham?" Robin Hood: (Scoffs:) "You're not seriously going to judge me for that are you? I mean bloody hell, look around. I know dark magic when I see it. I mean, wh-what's in these?" Zelena: (Glances at the boxes:) "Uh, the hearts of my sister’s enemies, I believe." Robin Hood: "Oh. And this? This looks nasty enough." Zelena: "Oh, no, don't touch that! It's powerful." (Picks up a silver box and moves it out of reach.) Robin Hood: "Just who are you people? What aren't you telling me." Zelena: (Sighs again:) "My sister is the Evil Queen and I'm the Wicked Witch. Okay? Happy now? My history with you... with Robin Hood, it ended badly." Robin Hood: "Yeah, and judging by some of the stuff here, I can guess how, too." Zelena: "Look, we've changed. I don't know for sure what brought you here but since you are, you could be a part of a fresh start. Your fresh start." Robin Hood: (Considers her:) "And maybe one of your own, too?" Zelena: "Maybe. (Chuckles:) I don't know. When I first heard you were here I just wanted you gone as soon as possible." Robin Hood: "But now?" Zelena: "I think if we give ourselves a chance, maybe your being here could be a good thing." Robin Hood: (Sighs:) “Truth be told, compared to your version, there doesn’t seem like I have a lot to be getting back to. So, if you’re sure, I don’t necessarily see the harm in sticking around for awhile.” Zelena: “Hm, I still don’t want my daughter seeing you just yet, so you’ll have to keep out of sight for the time being.” Robin Hood: “Not a problem, in theory.” Zelena: “In theory?” Robin Hood: “Well, a man like me, a man of action, I will need to be kept entertained. Otherwise I could just get bored, wander off and turn up anywhere.” Zelena: “I see. And how do you suppose a man, such as yourself, would prefer his entertainment?” Robin Hood: “I guess that would depend on how much of a ‘fresh start’ you would like to have with the legendary Robin Hood.” (Shaking her head at the man’s bravado, Zelena considers his words, before making her decision.)

Swan-Mills House. (Emma and Regina discuss their options.) Regina: "I think you're overreacting." Emma: "He is literally a walking, talking reminder of our dreamscape, Regina." Regina: "We don't even know that's where he came from." Emma: "Consider the facts: Robin Hood is dead, buried, gone. Even if he were Robin's ghost, he'd know who we all are. Face it, we did this, we brought him here." Regina: "Then what about the timelines? If this Robin came from our shared dream, he would've been married to Marian, he would at least know who she was." Emma: "Okay, well if he isn't from our dreamscape, where did he come from?" Regina: "I don't know! There could be dozens of possible answers. He could be from a Wish Realm or he could've time travelled." Emma: (Skeptically:) "Seriously?" Regina: "Oh, cause that's so hard to believe, Princess Leia." Emma: "All right, fine. I just think until we know who or what he is, we need to cool it on the shared dreaming." Regina: "No." Emma: "Gina-" Regina: "No way. You know how much better I've been sleeping recently." Emma: "Yes, but-" Regina: "And how much closer we've become." Emma: "I know, but-" Regina: (Moving closer to her on the couch:) "Not to mention all the things we've yet to do... (Running her fingers teasingly over Emma's thigh:) that we could never possibly get away with in the real world." Emma: (Closing her eyes as many different scenarios suddenly flash before her eyes. Huskily:) "Regina..." Regina: (Moving even closer, nuzzling Emma's ear:) "I just think it'd be such a shame to never... ever... experience those possibilities that have been... (Nudging Emma's knees apart:) Opened to us." Emma: (Sighs, tilting her head back to allow Regina access:) "You don't play fair." Regina: (Smiling against her neck:) "No, I play to win." Swan-Mills House. Exterior. (Pulling up with Hook in his truck, David heads towards the garden.) Hook: "Why are we here?" David: "Like you said, Emma has magic, we don't." Hook: "Hang on. What is this?" David: "Emma and Regina are busy doing other things, right? So we borrow a few ingredients and a spell book, and we learn what happened to my father." Hook: (Pulling him back:) "Wait. Stop. Are you trying to cast a spell?" David: "Look, if you're too afraid, forget about it. I'll do it myself." Hook: "I'm not afraid. I'm concerned. You really have no qualms about stealing from your own daughter?" David: "What is with you today? You spend your whole life a thieving pirate, and the one time I need you to be that guy, you get cold feet." (David and Hook sneak into the back garden.) Hook: "Perhaps I'm trying not to be that guy anymore." David: "Come on, buddy. It's just me here. Now, I need you to pick the lock to the shed and then be a lookout. What do you say? (Reluctantly, Hook walks over to Regina's shed and, after a few moments, successfully manages to pick the lock:) There. That wasn't so hard. Now you keep watch." (Irritated beyond words by David's less than charming attitude, Hook nevertheless sneaks over to one of the back windows to check if anyone is at home. Peering in, Hook catches a glimpse of something sink behind the couch. Seeing no further movement, he dismisses it as nothing and returns to the shed. Unbeknownst to Hook, hidden by the back of the couch, Regina and Emma are busy making out, with Emma now wholeheartedly seeing Regina's point of view.) David: (Meeting Hook on the way out of the shed:) "Anyone home?" Hook: "No." David: "Right. Good work. Now let's find out who murdered my father."

Henry's Dreamscape. Kingdom of Valencia. Dungeons. (Gareth stands sharpening his tools of torture while Henry and Ella talk through the bars of their adjoining cells.) Ella: "All right, we need an escape plan. What are you thinking?" Henry: "Here's what I think: If you really break it down... 'I love you as much as someone like me could love anyone' can mean a lot of things." Ella: "Oh, come on. She's the worst! She imprisoned us. I mean, yes, she's beautiful, in a perfect-skin, perfect-body, perfect-hair kind of way, if you're into that sort of thing." Henry: "Mm." Ella: "I know you, Henry. I know your heart, and you deserve better. You deserve to be with someone who will lift you up as a man, someone who will fight with you, not against you." Henry: "So what you're saying is... you don't think she loves me?" (The other occupants of the dungeon all groan.) Jester: "Bloody hell. Oh, please, just stop the torture and kill me already." Gareth: "I haven't started yet." Jester: "He's not part of it?" Gareth: "Will everybody just shut up?! (Pointing one of his weapons at the Jester:) Do you want to know what real torture is?” Jester: “No, I'm good. Thanks.” Gareth: (Sighs, drops the mace and takes a seat on the stool:) “Imagine being loyal to someone your whole life. I'm not gonna tell you who, but hypothetically, we'll call him ‘the king.’ He's a bit of a ponce, but I like him. Then he gets married to this rump-fed basket cockle, who, hypothetically, we'll call ‘the queen.’” Henry: “We all know who you're talking about, Gareth.” Gareth: “Yeah but let me be cryptic for a minute, will ya?! Just give me that! Now, she's not like ‘the king.’ But she's strong, and I admire strength. But, then again, I've sworn an oath to protect the king. So I don't know what to do. I mean, that's real torture, isn't it, lads?” (Frustrated, Gareth gets to his feet and leaves the dungeons. Henry and Ella return their attention to each other.) Ella: "Seriously, Henry, you can't really be thinking about being with Madelena. When you love someone, you shout it from the rooftop, not couch it in a riddle." Henry: "I know." Ella: "You do?" Henry: "Of course I do. I come from a family of True Love. My parents, my grandparents. I just wanted you to think I was considering her offer to see how you'd react." Ella: "So you were testing me?" Henry: "I wanted to know if my feelings for you were in any small way reciprocated. (Pushing open his cell door:) It was cruel I know, but at least now I can see you do feel something for me." Ella: "Of course I do, you dope. (Pushing open her cell door:) Henry, you're not like any man I've ever met before." Henry: "And you inspire me to do things I never thought I could. Well, actually you more or less boss me into doing those things, but still." (They share a good natured laugh.) Ella: "Well, how's that for timing? Our stars are finally aligning on the same day I'm going to die." Henry: "No. No, you're not gonna die today. (Points at the occupants of the other cells:) And you're not gonna die today. And you're not gonna die today. (Gestures to a cell with a prisoner inside who hasn't moved since they've been in the dungeons:) You might already be dead." Ella: "Well, what are you going to do?" Henry: "What else? Save the day. (Henry goes to leave the dungeons when he turns back:) Have these doors been open the whole time? No one thought to check? (The Jester tests his cell door, which also opens:) Really?" Throne Room. (Madelena paces the floor when Gareth enters.) Queen Madelena: "Is it done? Did you torture them?” Gareth: “Nah.” Queen Madelena: “But I gave you an order.” Gareth: “I don't give a rat's arse about your orders. I might be a dog, but at least I'm a loyal one, love. Now, I serve the king, so I only follow his orders.” King Richard: (Standing in the doorway with Chef:) “That is so nice to hear. (Walks towards them:) You have always been my most loyal friend, Gareth. I know you're not a hugger, but if you were, I would wrap myself around you like a leather jacket made of love.” Gareth: (Clearly uncomfortable:) “Mm.” King Richard: “Okay, couple of things. First, Chef, I am so munchy. Could you make me, like, a cheesy omelette with some ham chunks, potatoes fried in bacon grease?” Chef: “Right away, sire.” (He leaves.) King Richard: “Excellent. (To Madelena:) Next, I'm breaking up with you. Gareth, would you please escort Madelena down to the dungeon and lock her up forever? Huh?” Gareth: (Nods his approval to the king, then grabs Madelena’s arm:) “Come on.” Queen Madelena: “Wait! It would be rude to imprison your queen when we have such a special visitor.” King Richard: “What visitor? What are you talking about?” Kingsley: (Sitting on the throne:) “Hello, brother.” King Richard: “Kingsley?” Gareth: “What's he doing here?” King Richard: “What are you doing here?” Kingsley: “I'm here to take your life.” King Richard: “My life?” Kingsley: (Stepping down from the dais:) “Your lifestyle. Your kingdom. Of course, if you get in my way, I'll have to take your life, too... Dickie.” Queen Madelena: (Laughing:) “Oh, this is going to be fun.”

[blacksunradiance]

Nurarihyon no Mago Sennen Makyō Character CD Series # 3: <Special Drama> Great-Great-Great (abbreviated) Grandpa is a Butler! (ひいひいひい(略)じいちゃんは執事!, Hihihi (ryaku) jiichan ha shitsuji!)

Summary: Hidemoto has some advice for fighting a Nurarihyon, but can Yura withstand the training?!

Translation was a commission done by @kairosity!

Translation before.

Special Drama: My Great-Great-Great(-etc) Grandpa is a Butler!

Yura: Isshiki Issei! Yura Max! Yura Max! Yura Max!!!! (sound of someone clapping as she breathes heavily) Hidemoto: Hey, that was great! Nice job, Yura-chan! Isn’t that pretty good? Yura: It’s still not enough. I should be able to up both my speed and accuracy…! Hidemoto: Nothing good’ll come of you pushing yourself too hard, though, I’d say? How about taking it a little easier? I know! We can go and get some anmitsu! Yura: Hidemoto! You say stuff like that, but I bet you just want to go strolling around in the city! Hidemoto: Eh? That’s not true. I’m just worried about you, y’know? But it seems like I may as well take the good old opportunity to enjoy the world of 400 years in the future while I’m at it. Yura: “Seems like”? The heck’s that! Hidemoto…how about you spend more time with me when I’m training, being my shikigami and all! Hidemoto: Meh… Yura: “Meh”!? What! You should just go on and teach me stuff! Hidemoto: But if we train any more than this…what if you collapse, Yura-chan? Yura: I won’t die from losing consciousness two or three times! Hidemoto: I don’t really want you to push yourself too far… Ah, then why don’t we do this kind of preventative training? Yura: Eh? What kind, what kind? What’s it like? Hidemoto: Tactics for dealing with Nurarihyon! Yura: What? Hidemoto: This is a secret art to use when fighting him – the ultimate youkai commander. Yura: Amazing! Seriously amazing! So you had something like this up your sleeve! Hidemoto: In order to fight with him, you must first become able to withstand his mental attacks. Yura: Mental? He can do that? Hidemoto: It only works on certain people, though. To phrase it another way – on women. Yura: What does that mean? Hidemoto: I’m going to try mimicking Nurarihyon’s mental attacks now, so try to endure them, okay, Yura-chan? Yura: All right! Ready when you are! (saxophone music plays) Hidemoto: Yura-chan. You truly are beautiful. Yura: Wh…wh…what are you saying, Hidemoto? Hidemoto: Hm? This is Nurarihyon’s mental attack that I was talking about. Yura: This? Hidemoto: Yes? He makes his opponents go like rubber when he uses them. Yura: Like rubber… Hidemoto: I’ll continue, then? (sax plays) Yura-chan. I want to continue gazing at you forever. Yura: Ahhhhh!! No. No. I have to endure it. Hidemoto: No matter what pain lies in their depths, your eyes remain utterly pure without nary a hint of shadow. I’ve never met anyone like that until now. So, would you focus those eyes of yours on me and me alone? Yura: Ahh…ahhh….g…gotta endure… Hidemoto: You are strong, sublime, and simply beautiful. You alone are my sun, my stars. My universe. Je t’aime. Mon amour. I love you! Yura: Aaaaaaaah…!! Hidemoto: My, you sure do give things all that you’ve got, Yura-chan. Yura: Is…is it over…? Haaa…my heart was beating so hard, I thought I was gonna die… This sure is some hard training… Hidemoto: Hahaha… There’s no way that this kind of thing is training! Yura: Wha…! Hidemoto: You sure are funny, though! All bright red, blushing from top to bottom. Very cute. Yura: (wails) Hidemoto!! Guys like you are just – Hidemoto: Oh no, don’t get so mad. We were taking a break. A break! Yura: I don’t need one! Hidemoto, if you’re not going to help with my training, then go and be useful by doing something else! Hidemoto: Being useful with…what, for example? Yura: Like… Like…like…like…... Hmmm… Ah! Helping take care of things around me! It’d be a huge help! Hidemoto: Around you? Like…this? (imagine spot music plays) (sound of a bright morning as birds chirp, while someone knocks on the door before entering and wheeling in a cart) Hidemoto: Excuse me, Yura ojou-sama. It’s morning. (draws back the curtains) Yura: Mmn… Nn… Hidemoto? Morning. Hidemoto: Good morning. (sets down plates and cutlery) This is the menu for today’s breakfast: grilled salted salmon, miso soup, cooked beans, and egg on rice with soy sauce. Yura: Mn, got it. I heard a lot of katakana phrases in there, so I’m gonna guess that it’s Western breakfast today. Hidemoto: That is correct. After you finish, I will take you to school via ox-pulled carriage. (sound of mooing in the background) Yura: Okay. Get it all taken care of, please. Hidemoto: Yes, ojou-sama. Yura: Oh, that reminds me, Hidemoto. Hidemoto: Yes, ojou-sama? Yura: Is that a letter over there I see? I bet it’s from Ryuji nii-chan. Read it to me? Hidemoto: Yes, ojou-sama. (sound of pages flipping) “To Yura. Your brother has discovered something amazing. If you put egg on top of tokoroten (TL: a kind of Japanese noodle made from seaweed gelatin), it tastes just like egg on rice. You would do well to learn this, Yura. Egg on tokoroten. I’m telling this to you and you alone. Try it, Yura. From your brother.” Yura: Then I guess we should prepare tokoroten and egg for dinner tonight. Heh, Ryuji-nii-chan sometimes does know a good thing or two. Hidemoto: Ojou-sama. I regret to say that this is but one of the jokes that are Ryuji-sama’s specialty. Yura: Eh!? Really? Hidemoto: Tokoroten and egg is well known for being a combination of foods that go poorly together. Yura: Ngh… Is that so… How dare he… I can’t believe I was fooled again! Hidemoto: That was a close call, if I may say so myself. Yura: Hidemoto, thanks for telling me. Hidemoto: Not at all. Everything is as you wish, ojou-sama. I am but your butler, after all. (imagine spot end music plays) Hidemoto: …Or something like that, right? Yura: Yeah! Exactly! Just like that! You’re super useful, Hidemoto! Hidemoto: Super useful, you say… Yura: What, something wrong with that? Hidemoto: How you put it is just so…rough. I mean, there’s nothing tasty about it for me. Yura: What, you mean you want to eat those breakfasts, too? Hidemoto: Not quite… I mean that I’d like to make some tasty memories, so to say… (imagine spot music plays) Hidemoto: Is the bath to your liking, Ojou-sama? Yura: It’s just right! Hidemoto: Is that so? Then, if you’ll excuse me. Yura: Hidemoto? Hidemoto: Yes, ojou-sama? Yura: Since you’re here and all, can you wash my back for me? Hidemoto: …Excuse me!? (sound of the door sliding open) Yura: Come in already. Hidemoto: I mustn’t, ojou-sama! We are of different classes, and there is a line that we cannot cross – ah, but…well… (imagine spot end music plays) Hidemoto: Juuuust kidding! You’ve got such a dirty imagination, Yura-chan! Yura: Why’s that? Why the need to raise a fuss over washing someone else’s back? Hidemoto: …Er? Yura: If you’re gonna help with things, then it’s easier for me to ask directly. Nothing to get mad over, right? Hidemoto: Yura-chan… Are you serious? Yura: Why would I lie about something like this? Hidemoto: Ha…hahahaha! Yura: What? Why are you laughing all of a sudden? Hidemoto: No, sorry, sorry. You really are pure as snow. Yura: What? You making fun of me? Hidemoto: Nah, I’m complementing you. You’re so pure that I can’t leave you be. I finally understand how Ryuji-kun feels. Yura: What? Why d’you have to bring him up now of all times? Hidemoto: No need to worry yourself over it. It’s good to be this pure. Yura: Geez… I don’t get it. Hidemoto: Well, basically... I’ll be your own exclusive butler. Yura: …? Hidemoto: I can’t just leave you as is, Yura-chan. Well, I’m done for. This is my utter defeat. I mean this in many ways – you’re the strongest, Yura-chan. Yura: Sure doesn’t feel like you’re complementing me… I don’t really get it! Hidemoto: But I am, you know. Now then, what shall we do next, ojou-sama? Please, list anything at all. Yura: Eh? You sure? Hidemoto: I am your butler. Yura: Then…do my homework for me! Hidemoto: …Excuse me? Yura: And after that – take care of the laundry and the dishes, and clean my room! Hidemoto: Eh…uhm…Yura-chan? Yura: It’ll really help me out! It’s all been piling up since it’s such a pain to do! Oh and then if you could do tomorrow’s wake up call and breakfast prep for me! I’m counting on you, Hidemoto! No, my butler! Hidemoto: Yep, no can do! Yura: Eh? Ehhhhhhhhhhh!? Why not! You said you’d do anything! Hidemoto: I did, but there are things that I can and can’t do. I can’t touch physical objects, after all. Yura: Eh? Hidemoto: I mean, shikigami are kinda like ghosts or spirits. Even if we try to touch something here, we’ll just pass right through it. Yura: Wh…what did you just say…? Then, my homework…? Hidemoto: Well, I might be able to give you advice while at your side. Yura: And the laundry? The dishes? The cleaning? Hidemoto: Mmn, don’t think I can. Yura: Then…my wake up call? Hidemoto: I disappear when you’re not conscious, so...impossible, I’d say. Yura: Ooh, I can’t believe it… Hidemoto: Being a butler is sure rough, I’ll say. Haha. Yura: Man! Hidemoto…you’re so freaking useless!!