#but yeah it's like oh so caleb gets his entire arc summed up. beau gets pop pop. this seems neutral and intelligent

[utilitycaster]

.

[beauregardlionett]

the world is ending so kiss me slowly

AO3 Link

The days at sea had been seemingly endless. Heavy layers of ice fog consistently impeded their journey, and Beau had grown weary of the monotony. Lucky enough, however, the voyage hadn’t persisted for too long. The icebreaker was rather scuffed up from their earlier encounters on the icy seas, but they plugged along as steady as could be. Despite those encounters, they made it to land with relatively good timing.

Their stay in the port city hadn’t lasted more than a day, moving on with rapid intent in their search for Eiselcross. But they leapt from one monotony to the next, trekking through the endless, snowy landscapes of the north. The winds were bracing, the snow beyond freezing, and nights were worse. Beau could feel the temperature actively chapping her lips and the skin of her knuckles, but she tucked into her warm clothes as much as possible and pushed onward.

So, by the time they stumbled upon a cave system that cropped up seemingly from nowhere, of course they were going to jump at the chance to explore.

Beau was surprised that Vess had agreed to let them sidetrack like this. But when Beau thought about it, Vess’ job was to explore and cultivate. So perhaps she thought the cave system might yield something of interest.

However, the cave only yielded a reprieve from the wind and snow. It was remarkably dull, the rough-hewn walls lacking anything but basic rock and sediment. But they continued on for a little while longer, if only to stay out of the wind, until they came to a three-way split. And while they all knew it was a bad idea, they agreed to divide and conquer to satiate their curiosity.

“Five minutes in each direction,” Fjord instructed firmly. “If you don’t find anything promising, turn around and come back. The last thing we need is to get lost down here.”

The others nodded as Beau flashed her friend a lazy salute. She lingered to watch Fjord, Caduceus, and Veth head down one path, and Caleb, Vess, and Jester down the other. Turning to Yasha, she fought down the butterflies in her stomach and gestured to the remaining tunnel before them.

“Shall we?”

Yasha seemed to hesitate for a moment, but then she turned to lead them down the tunnel. Their steps echoed with dull reverberation in the narrow space, and the cave continued to yield nothing.

Three minutes into their winding way down the tunnel with a semi-awkward silence lingering between them, something snarled in the shadows. Beau’s footsteps halted immediately, eyes sweeping for a source. In her peripheral, Yasha’s hand moved instantly to the hilt of her sword.

With her goggles on, Beau stared into the grey darkness and scanned for the source of the sound. With slow intent, she shifted her right foot back, widening her stance in preparation. This was far from the ideal place to be fighting, and her pulse picked up with nervous anticipation.

Suddenly, in a blur of darkness and movement, a creature lunged from the shadows and swiped massive claws at Beau. She pulled back, quick enough to dodge a lethal blow, but still caught the wide arc of the strike. Claws that were as cold as the ice they had left outside cut through the skin of her side. Beau cried out with a pained, “fuck!” as she lashed out on instinct.

Her first wild punch missed entirely. Somehow, through the haze of painful cold that was now creeping through her veins like poison, she landed her second strike on its hide. She knew the instant her knuckles connected with its fur that she had barely hurt the thing. Beau stumbled back, just missing another blow from its claws. Clutching an arm around her midsection, Beau tried to steady herself by leaning against the tunnel wall. As she attempted to focus through the pulsing chill that spread with every rapid thud of her heart, Beau turned to look for Yasha.

The barbarian slipped past Beau, approaching the creature with her sword drawn and a cry of rage echoing in the tunnel. There was that familiar fire in her multi-colored eyes, and Beau instinctively relaxed. Something about having Yasha beside her in battle that made Beau feel like everything would be okay.

Yasha, veins bulging in her forehead with her rage, somehow maneuvered her greatsword in the narrow space and cut deep into the creature’s side. It yelped with pain a second before Yasha whirled and slammed the flat of her blade against its side. The beast went flying into the side of the cavern wall, colliding with a rough crack and pained yelp.

The tunnel shook, and the creature, heavily wounded and dazed, snarled in their direction before turning and fleeing further into the cave system. Beau was still leaning against the wall, tremors running through the rock beneath her skin. Panic seeped into her expression as she locked eyes with Yasha.

“Yash-” she called out, before the sound of falling rock rumbled above her and cut her off. On instinct, Beau moved away from the wall at the same moment Yasha reached out for the monk. The Aasimar’s fingers curled around Beau’s forearm, tugging her away from the danger. Yasha whirled, pressing Beau in close and hunching over the monk, shielding her entirely from the falling rocks that cascaded from the ceiling.

Beau ducked her head against Yasha’s shoulder and curled chilled fingers into the warm fabric of the Aasimar’s coat.

When the rumbling and crashing finally ceased, Beau still stood tense and shuddering in Yasha’s hold.

“Beau?” Yasha’s voice cracked above her, the woman’s hand shifting to slide down her back as Yasha pulled away slightly. “Are you okay?”

Breathing out a rough, maniac huff of a laugh, Beau felt all the tension bleed from her muscles in one go. She slumped against Yasha, drained and freezing. The Aasimar’s hands fumbled to catch her for a moment, the sound of Yasha’s greatsword clattering to the cavern floor a jarring cacophony in the otherwise silence. But Yasha grabbed Beau around the shoulders and helped her to the floor.

“Hang on,” Yasha muttered more to herself than to Beau. “Close your eyes.”

Light flooded the space a moment later, Yasha’s greatsword glowing a vibrant, dull orange color like firelight where it lay beside them. Yasha turned back to Beau, concern lining every curve of her expression. She seemed to scan Beau, eyes latching onto the wound on Beau’s side. Her expression darkened marginally before she reached out and set her hand on the wound with a gentle touch. Yasha’s fingers glowed with a soft vibrance for a moment as warmth pulsed through Beau. It wasn’t enough to banish the chill in her veins, but it helped.

“Thanks,” Beau breathed shakily, her fingers still trembling. She looked around and realized with sinking dread that the rockfall now blocked the surrounding tunnel on both sides.

“Shit.” Beau summed up rather eloquently.

“Yep,” Yasha agreed, moving to sit beside Beau.

If they thought the tunnel was narrow to begin with, it now barely left room for Beau to stand upright. Which meant if Yasha so much as tried to straighten up, she would smack her head rather painfully into the rocks. It also meant she had no chance of maneuvering her sword, so it stayed put on the floor.

“Let’s hope Fjord sticks to his five-minute time limit,” Beau mused, curling her knees to her chest in an effort to keep her body heat maintained. “If he does, they’ll probably come looking for us relatively soon.”

“I hope so,” Yasha sighed, leaning against the part of the original cave wall. They were lucky the rocks had fallen the way they did. They might have just been crushed all together under different circumstances. Beau shuddered at the thought and felt more than saw Yasha’s gaze snap to her.

“You’re cold,” Yasha said. It was an observation rather than a question, but Beau still tried to deny it. She opened her mouth to brush off the concern, assure Yasha that she was fine. But before she could even get a word out, the Aasimar removed her fur-lined cloak and wrapped it around Beau’s shoulders. Her hands fussed for a few moments, tucking Beau beneath the fabric securely, lips pursed with a concentration Beau found stupidly endearing.

“Thanks,” Beau managed her gratitude without her voice cracking, burrowing into the offered cloak. She felt insufferably awkward just then, realizing she was now stuck in a tiny space with the woman of her affections. Every stilted, flustered interaction she had ever shared with Yasha reared to the forefront of Beau’s mind. It came with the reminder of the very solidifying conversation of her feelings she had had with Fjord not too long ago.

Oh, the gods hated her.

Yasha, who had been fiddling with something on her belt, looked up at Beau and frowned after a minute. She shifted closer and opened her arms in a gesture that made Beau’s face flush in an instant.

“You’re still shaking,” Yasha said by quiet explanation. “I do not want you to freeze or anything like that.”

Beau snorted and shifted in her seat, wanting nothing more than to let Yasha hold her, but holding back. Yasha offered, so there was no reason not to. But she reminded herself that Yasha was off-limits because of Zualla. Yasha needed to make the first move and yeah, she sat there with her arms out, ready to hold Beau without question or prompt. But if Beau accepted, wouldn’t it be like making the first move? Wouldn’t that make Yasha feel obligated to...something? Gods, she was so cold she couldn’t think, but she was certain that she couldn’t accept this offer because...because--

“Beau,” Yasha’s voice cut through the static in Beau’s head, the monk sniffing against the chill in her bones as she looked up. The Aasimar’s face was as neutral as ever, despite the pink in her cheeks. Her arms were still open.

“Do you want to schnuggle?”

Beau blinked at Yasha’s deadpan delivery and promptly lost it. She curled over herself with laughter, tears squeezing from her eyes as she clutched at her pained, chilled abdomen. She heard Yasha chuckling beside her, and Beau felt the tension eek from the atmosphere.

“Yeah,” Beau managed, breathless. “Yeah, I’d love to schnuggle.”

Still giggling, she let Yasha maneuver them so she was sideways in Yasha’s lap, her head tucked against the Aasimar’s shoulder. The barbarian’s arms were a firm, warm weight wrapped around Beau’s wiry frame, and she sank into the easily offered comfort.

“Thanks, Yasha,” Beau mumbled, exhaustion creeping in. “I owe you a couple gold pieces.”

Yasha chuckled quietly, the noise deep and rumbling in her chest where Beau’s cheek pressed against Yasha’s clavicle.

“You don’t owe me anything,” she promised. “I’m happy to help.”

“You’re great,” Beau sighed, pulling the cloak a little tighter around her. She couldn’t seem to banish the chill in her veins. Her training had helped her gain immunity to poisons, but that beast’s chill was more like magic than toxin.

Fuck.

Hopefully, the others found them soon, because Jester or Caduceus would probably fix it. But until then, she didn’t want to alert Yasha to how bad her wound might be. She didn’t want to worry her.

“Hey, Beau?” Yasha sounded hesitant above her, and Beau hummed in wordless answer. “Can I tell you something?”

“Yeah,” Beau mumbled, cozy despite the chill. “‘course.”

“I like you,” Yasha said, words rushed and stumbling, like she was afraid she’d lose her courage if she held onto them for too long. Beau stilled against Yasha’s shoulder and remained quiet. She hated to let those words kindle fledgling hopes, because what if Yasha didn’t mean it that way?

“A lot,” Yasha continued, and Beau remained frozen. “And sometimes...it makes me feel very...bad. Not because I regret it,” Yasha was quick to amend. “But because of...Zualla. But I think she would want me to be happy. And you...uhm. You make me happy.”

Yasha’s voice tapered off near the end, arms stiff where they remained wrapped around Beau. The monk knew that she feared rejection, feared that Beau would brush her off and tell her it wasn’t mutual.

But it was.

With an alarming amount of effort, Beau picked her head up off Yasha’s shoulder and turned her face up to look at the barbarian. She saw the nerves highlighting every inch of Yasha’s tentative expression and sensed the tremulous hope surging in her veins.

And all Beau could do was respond with an honesty she usually couldn’t afford.

“I like you, too, Yasha,” Beau said as quietly as possible, afraid she might shatter the air around them if she spoke too loudly. “More than I was prepared to. But I like you.”

Yasha didn’t seem to know what to do with Beau’s reciprocation, but her lips curled into a slow smile and her arms around the monk tightened. Joy eked into her eyes and she laughed, breathy and disbelieving.

“May I kiss you? I really want to kiss you. And not in an ‘this is the end, so I might as well’ kind of way. I’ve uh...I’ve wanted to kiss you a lot for, like, a while.”

It was Beau’s turn to huff out a laugh, and she was too afraid to speak and stumble, so she nodded eagerly instead.

Yasha, practically glowing, bundled Beau close and ducked her head down to meet the monk halfway.

The warm press of Yasha’s lips against her own didn’t magically banish the ice in Beau’s veins. But it was certainly a welcome distraction. Beau felt her breath catch in her chest, a stuttering, muted gasp of realization that oh fuck. She was in so deep.

Yasha’s arms stayed wrapped around her, firm and encompassing, keeping Beau right where she wanted to be. Their kiss was chaste, but deep and ringing with a passion beyond frightening. Beau had kissed many people in her time, had done a lot more than kissing, but this...this was something else. Yasha held her like she was worth something and kissed her with attention. She wasn’t chasing pleasure or looking to satisfy a desire - she was declaring to Beau I’m here, I’m in no hurry, I care about you.

And Beau had absolutely no idea what to do with that.

Her first instinct was to break and run - but that was not an option given their surroundings. And despite the fear thrumming in time with her heart, there was also something else - something lighter. A giddiness in her belly that curled with delight at being recognized, at being seen. Yasha always saw her and understood her in ways that others never could. And Yasha thanked her once before for not judging her, but Beau had never gotten the chance to thank Yasha for doing the same.

So she pressed a little closer and clung a little tighter and hoped that Yasha understood her now, too.

There was nowhere else for them to go, no rush in these tight quarters.

Beau adjusted, moving her lips to a more comfortable angle and Yasha met her halfway. The Aasimar inhaled, and Beau realized from where she still pressed against Yasha’s chest that she was inhaling, too. Beau had lost track of time, just clinging to the awareness that there was nothing else she wanted at the moment.

(Maybe she wanted to get out of this cave, but that could wait just a little longer.)

They only broke apart, breath stuttering from their shared pattern, when Jester’s voice rang in Beau’s head.

Beau! Where are you guys? We’re all waiting, but we don’t know if you found anything. Are you guys making out? Please let me know!

Clearing her throat as she laughed awkwardly, Beau just barely remembered to respond. She hoped her voice didn’t sound as wrecked as she felt.

“Hey, Jes,” she said, shooting a glance to Yasha, who blushed but grinned anyway. “We’re a bit...stuck. Our tunnel caved in. Probably about a three-minute walk down. Help us out, please.”

She wasn’t sure if that had fit in the allotted length of Jester’s spell, but the magic dissipated a moment later, so she figured it worked. She shrugged to hide another cold induced shudder and flicked a look up at Yasha. The barbarian regarded her fondly, fingers tracing idle patterns in the coat’s fabric up and down Beau’s arm. It was such a tender gesture that Beau felt her cheeks heat as she ducked her head.

“I guess we’ll be out soon,” Yasha said.

“Yeah,” Beau said eloquently. “I r-really need to str-stretch my legs.”

She didn’t realize how much her teeth were chattering as she spoke until Yasha shifted her around. The barbarian’s eyes lit with concern as she reached a hand out to brush the stray locks of Beau’s hair from her face. Beau, a little dizzy from the kiss and the relief of knowing their friends were coming, gave Yasha’s concern a dazed smile.

“Yer super hot, y’know that?” Beau slurred, leaning into the hand Yasha had cupped to Beau’s cheek. The dizziness and loopy sensation were more likely a result of the magical cold in her blood. But Beau couldn’t find it in herself to be that concern when it meant Yasha would keep holding her close.

“We need to get out of here, fast,” Yasha said, more to herself than anything. She shifted beneath Beau and the monk sucked in a sharp breath, clinging weakly to Yasha as the space started spinning with wild abandon.

“I don’ feel good...” Beau managed, her fingers like ice and her limbs cold and useless. “‘M cold.”

“I know,” Yasha whispered, one arm tightening around Beau’s shoulders as the other reached for her sword. It was clear, even through her icy haze, that Yasha did not know what she was going to do with her sword. She seemed desperate to just get them both out of this cave in.

Beau lost track of time after that, everything going fuzzy and floaty and cold. But Yasha’s arm around her remained a solid constant and Beau couldn’t find it in herself to worry about their dilemma. There was some muffled shouting at one point, something about ‘hurry’ and ‘stoneshape’.

She just wanted to sleep.

Warm hands touched her abdomen and a searing heat that felt like pure sunlight injected into her bloodstream shot from the point of contact. The ice in her veins evaporated rapidly and Beau came back to herself with a strangled gasp. Caduceus smiled down at her, giving Beau a gentle pat before stepping away.

“There ya go,” his familiar timbre rumbled. “Good as new.”

Beau pushed out a shaky sigh and realized that Yasha was still holding her.

“Hey,” she croaked with a grin.

“Are you okay?” Yasha fret in that soft voice of hers.

“Yeah,” Beau reassured her, rolling her ankles to crack them. “I feel good as new. Sorry for scaring you...I didn’t think it would get that bad that fast.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t heal you,” Yasha apologized as she set Beau on her feet, a hand still lingering against Beau’s back.

“You did what you could,” Beau waved away the apology. “I think everything you did helped me fight it off as long as I did.”

Neither of them mentioned the kiss as Caleb roped Beau into a fierce hug. Nor when Jester, Veth, and Fjord took a moment to fuss over her. Neither of them mentioned the kiss when Vess interrupted their reunion to remind them of their mission, nor when they trekked back toward the mouth of the cave. Neither of them brought it up as the party pulled their hoods up and tightened buttons, pulled gloves snug and secured their scarves.

Beau unfastened the clasp of Yasha’s cloak where it rested against her clavicle as the others headed back into the snow. She turned to Yasha, who caught the cloak before it could leave her shoulders, and tugged it firmly back over Beau’s frame, securing the fastenings with deft fingers.

“You keep it for now,” Yasha said to Beau’s confused look. “You need it more. Besides, it looks good on you.”

Beau felt her cheeks flush at the compliment as Yasha leaned down to press a lingering kiss to the flustered monk’s lips. This one didn’t last as long, didn’t end with syncopated breaths. But it warmed Beau from head to toe.

Neither of them mentioned the kiss as they walked from the cave side-by-side, wearing matching grins.