#but. even w those two n others as well. ebenholz i think was the chara that i knew wld be my fav
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head in hands thinking of hermes n ebenholz
#🌙.rambles#rereading question of life again a bunch today n. hermes.. searching for the answer to change in other stars.#my bro. my dear. beloved. i daresay the answer's been w you all along.. in a way#I FEEL. SO MUCH FOR HERMES. BCS HE FELT SO LONELY N DIFFERENT IN THE IMPERFECT SOCIETY OF ETHEIRYS#but bro if you're an aberration then fuck it i'll. be one too yk? you won't be alone#i haven't finished lingering echoes yet on yt or wtvr but#that freedom he rlly yearned for.. that touches me so much. i can't even begin to explain it oh my god#out of all my favs in ffxiv i probably talk abt hermes the most. in terms of his chara he's probably my fav#but alphi n emet-selch r equally as special as well i rlly don't have a fav in ffxiv 😭#in arknights. i rlly don't know much yet but with chara design there's mostima n lappland that definitely caught my eye the most#but. even w those two n others as well. ebenholz i think was the chara that i knew wld be my fav#n then help my mind has two definite like. IDK HOW TO SAY IT BUT i'm rlly thinking of both hermes n ebenholz at the same time#n. one of my ocs too. who srs just. helpp i project sm unto him he's probably like my no. 1 ideal type#ständchen & dead butterflies & no plan r the three songs i'll obsess over today it seems >.>#dead butterflies w the context n the. word choice the imagery the emotion in it :^) so special. so meaningful.#to me it. it's like a persisting emptiness. a sorrow that doesn't ever quite go away. fitting w the context of yk yeah i think#no plan! hozier! THE LYRICS R SO PERFECT MY MAN ILY#i rlly relate w the meaning behind the lyrics of the song <3#n then ständchen T_T EBENHOLZ.. N THEN. YK THE MELODY FROM SCHUBERT#i love music so so much. n everything about music. the meaning behind it n what it means to me as well n. yeah. YEAH#wait. i'm still obsessed w doomsday :^) sobs n talk from hozier too.. n. running in the dark. yeah#doomsday.. dealing w loss. inevitability of mortality. talk w the flowery insincerity oh my god. n then.#running in the dark i can't even rlly say bcs the song is just. rlly means a lot to me personally T_T it's so comforting#once i learn more of arknights! i will certainly write what i think of it in a different light someday#i think. i can rlly emphatize w these song themselves. the meaning behind them n the context n#i'm also very aware of what it personally means to me n#that small certainty in smth that's rlly just so vastly uncertain brings me some ounce of comfort.#curiosity of the unknown gives me comfort too. i've never rlly been one to hide or run away from what i fear bcs i still find it interestin#i just. rlly love sm things in life. i'm rlly glad i can still hold unto this part of me despite the painful things as well#but i'm one that. i. have to appreciate life wholly. it gets overwhelming tho but i still strive to just be myself n what that means to me.
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