#butterfly path

[plexigod]

i wish that i could see clear, unobstructed by visions of the past or the pain of the present. but small moments are enough. just one breath of fresh air in my lungs, felt and experienced aligned in the moment, can sustain my light for ages. a living being growing next to me so i’m never alone when i’m alone. i always make sure to say hello. 🌳

[plexigod]

🦋

[plexigod]

when i was brought here i felt so lost, and was constantly calling on spirit to show me the way, tell me if i was going in the right direction. one night in temp. housing, i watched paprika for the first time. it was a lifeline, a reminder. for me, creating is living. one night after candles and tarot and offerings and prayers, searching for stars and finding almost none.. i asked spirit “send me a butterfly if i’m where i’m meant to be.” the next day my sister and i went to the mall and i got a “surprise” pin box, i just felt drawn to it. when i opened it, there was a sea butterfly.

it may have taken me some time, but now that i’m back in a place of creation something is happening to me. it’s like waking up suddenly.. and my pain, while everpresent seems to have peeled away from my identity and my state of mind, my emotions and feelings. i know it’s there & i take care of it. the difficult circumstances of my life are somehow changed only by my view of them. i’m just happy, grateful, sure. life is hard, and bad things are going to keep happening. i don’t expect the future to go easy on me. but i don’t regret any of my suffering, and i’m ready to expand my view of what is and what can be. it’s not like ecstatic happiness, but grounded and clear certainty that i’m exactly where i’m meant to be. if i look at my past logically i’m much stronger then i perceive myself to be. so i’m not worried about anything. the worst case scenario is still a chance to experience something. i’m not afraid of anything.

[plexigod]

una mariposa, yo me transformo 🦋

[plexigod]

🦋 markmaking as means of memory

[plexigod]

thank god we are capable of change however grueling it may be. dissolving in my chrysalis until time sets me free

[plexigod]

aquarius season coming to a close. busy week, luteal phase. ideas floating around me as i curl up into my cocoon 🦋

[plexigod]

🧘🏻

[plexigod]

therapy kit

[plexigod]

[plexigod]

my body is a sacred note,

sung between the flesh and hope

[plexigod]

a reminder a reminder a reminder

sit with the feeling and remember

[plexigod]

always asking the universe, send me a butterfly if i’m going the right way.

tattooed them on each wrist so that living is always the right direction to go in.

what’s beautiful about the butterfly path is the way it diverges, there are many ways i could go that would be viable and fruitful. life is not so small and limited. once you’re out of the cocoon, you can finally spread your wings.. my decisions and choices always belong to me no matter the situation i find myself in. this life is what i make of it.. i can be whatever i want to be.

i may be borrowed atoms, borrowed time but here, now- i belong to me.