#by technicality; I am rosa therefore they are in here

[nonhumanresources]

Ponytober Day 3 - Casting Spells

More writing but this time it's cool because WOAH IT'S A COLLAB. Friend did the art and I did the writing! It's about me getting turned into a pony by a very distracted friend. Turned out fun I think, and the art is incredible! Check that out here.

Story itself is below! It can also be read here if you prefer a google doc. Due to length I suppose I'll format this like my regular story posts, too. Seriously I was not planning on 4k words.

Summary: Maru is a pony. This is new. However, book club is happening, and this takes precedence.

What to expect: pony TF and ranting about Animorphs.

Length: 4.2k words.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Maru trotted through the kitchen, taking in a deep breath. His nostrils flared, and he sneezed, the scents emanating from the oven far more intense than he was ready for. He stumbled at the force of it, getting his hooves tangled, clacking loudly against the wood floor. 

Behind him, the softer sound of sneakers echoed slightly through the hallway. “The sitting room is just through there,” Ash called from behind. “And uh, tissues should just be on the counter there. Sorry, there’s probably still flour floating around.” When he heard their voice, Maru’s ears swiveled backwards, bringing it to the forefront of his attention. It felt like squinting, but with his hearing. 

Maru glanced around, finding the tissue box. He actually squinted as he focused on it, the horn atop his head heating up, coming to life with a pale green aura. Another aura of the same color enveloped the tissue emerging from the top of the box, and he flicked his horn upwards, willing it to move. 

The first tissue did pop out of the box, but it shredded itself almost instantly. He tried again, this time moving slower, trying to keep it from stretching at all. The tactic succeeded, and he caught it with a hoof, rubbing his wet, sensitive nose. He still wasn’t used to being able to smell so clearly. The air was in high definition, now—he could even smell directions, if he focused, able to tell based on the breeze on his nose and the strength of the scent where it was coming from. 

“Thanks,” he mumbled, crumpling the tissue into a ball with his telekinesis and tossing it into the trash can. He glanced behind himself and saw Ash waiting patiently, dressed in a flannel and sweats. I guess it has been getting colder, Maru realized. With the new coat, he hadn’t noticed. He resumed his trot through the door on the opposite side of the kitchen, entering a cozy little sitting room. It was sparsely decorated, but there was a huge flag hung on one wall depicting Ash and their two roommates dressed in formal wear. The gag decor served to help enliven the space somewhat. A TV stand stood on one side, though it was pushed to one side to make room for a sofa and a lounge chair facing each other. It seemed almost intimidatingly formal, though he knew it wasn’t. 

Ash followed and let out a little laugh. “It’ll be more friendly when we’ve got attendees to actually make a circle of chairs. Hard to do when there’s just two people in the book club.” They stepped past Maru, brushing against his fur as they scooted through the tight space and settled down in the chair, legs tucked up underneath them, almost like a perch. “I figured the couch would be better for you, considering you’re horizontal now.”

Maru scoffed, but he did trot over and climb up onto the cushions, settling down with his forelegs hanging off the front so he could face forward. It was a bit awkward to sit twisted, but it was better than nothing. He slung his bag off his back and slid it to the floor beside him. “Yeah, I don’t think I’d fit in any of your chairs at this point.” 

“Too long,” Ash agreed. 

Maru felt his face grow a little hot. “Not to mention the pony body.” 

“Yep, lanky pony body.” 

“It’s tall, thank you very much,” Maru retorted. He coughed, changing the subject. He may be lanky, but that was a mark of pride, thank you very much. “That seemed like a lot of mess to bake cookies for just two people. Er, person and pony. What kind did you make?” 

Ash grinned. “Oatmeal.” 

Maru groaned, rolling his eyes. “Seriously?” 

They laughed, shrugging. “What? I thought it was the best choice, given the circumstances. Plus it’s funny.” 

Maru shook his head, but he couldn’t help but laugh at least a little. Leave it to Ash to turn baking into a bit. “Well, they better be tastier than they are funny. You wanna start?”

“Sure.” Ash swung their legs out from beneath themselves and stood. “I’ll grab a few cookies and we can get going.” They exited the room, and Maru heard the oven creak open, cupboards rattling. His gaze wandered the room curiously. While he sat, he fidgeted, his horn lighting up once more and snagging a pillow on the other side of the couch with its aura. He lifted it up and down, spinning it while he inspected the rest of the room. He’d originally done this to practice his telekinesis, but it had rapidly become a habit, and he’d bumped his head against objects he’d forgotten he himself was floating several times at this point. On the plus side, it had genuinely helped him learn better control over the magic. He’d gone from using telekinesis like a numb hand to grasp at everything, straining as hard as possible just to lift it a few inches, to something decidedly more magical. He’d thought of it like a spectral hand, but as time went on, it was feeling more and more like something more ethereal. Letting it act as a force of will, rather than a hand that he could use as he’d done before he’d changed, helped the telekinesis be less stiff. That had been a very exciting and very, very nerve-wracking realization. It was like he had to let go of his old form just to get better at using this one. Or maybe he was just catastrophizing. 

“Yeah! You get that pillow!” Ash cheered. Maru yelped and firing it across the room, smacking it into the far wall. He spun and glared at the doorway, where Ash stood, grin plastered across their face once again. “Sorry to startle you, just thought I’d give you some encouragement. That cushion must have said something real nasty, eh?” They held a plate of cookies, and they dragged a spare chair to the space between the recliner and the couch, setting it down there. They jumped back into the lounge chair with a few cookies in hand, this time with their legs sideways, feet sticking up over one of the armrests. 

“You wanna talk about it?” they asked, biting into one of the cookies and promptly fanning their mouth. “Ow. Hot.” 

Maru grabbed one of the cookies with his horn, blowing on it before he responded. Did he? “Not… particularly,” he admitted. The prospect of getting into it all was daunting. Turning into a small purple pony came with a shocking amount of emotional weight. 

Ash nodded, seemingly content with that answer. “Gotcha. We can talk about something far more important instead.” Reaching behind themselves, they grabbed a small paperback book off the shelf behind the couch and held it up. The cover was a somewhat horrifying depiction of a teenager transforming into a lizard. 

“Animorphs!” 

~ ~ ~

Ash had been the one to suggest a book club. After all, they were the only one who had actually read Animorphs other than Maru, and they’d been keen to reread the series along with him. Maru was already several dozen books ahead, but Ash didn’t much mind; it would help refresh the beginning of the story for Maru, while they got to enjoy talking about each book with him. Plus, it’s not like they were going to get spoiled on the ending; one of the only Animorphs books they’d actually owned as a kid had been the very last one, so they were already long past that point. 

Unfortunately, Maru had texted before the first meeting, abruptly canceling it. Everyone had been worried, as it was radio silence for multiple days before word got out: Maru, their loving friend, was now an utterly adorable cartoon pony. 

No one had quite been able to wrangle the how out of him thus far, but frankly, the entire group was amazed enough at sudden change to be willing to suspend their questions until he was willing to share the information himself—even though several were desperate to find out. Fortunately, all of them were pretty used to talking about this kind of thing; mostly, they were shocked it was actually real. 

So, book club was rescheduled, which gave Ash the time to speed through a couple more books. They’d been meaning to only do the first, but it had gotten them into enough of a reading mood that books two and three had flown by in time for the first official meeting. They reasoned that was more than enough to talk about in an evening. 

“Yes!” Maru leaned forwards, smiling. The expression should have sat oddly on his muzzle, but somehow, it twisted in just the right way for it to come off as natural and friendly. Cartoon horses were just more malleable than their real life counterparts, Ash figured. 

“Okay, so, since we both read the book recently, I don’t think we need a summary or anything,” Ash began, leafing through its pages. “It was good, for sure. I remembered the basic plot from when I was a kid, but it was fun to go through it again. Been a bit since I read anything for kids, too, honestly.”

Maru laughed, his head bobbing up and down. “Maybe the first book is, but they go so crazy so fluffing—I meant, frosting—gah, you know what I’m trying to say. Ponies have a hard time swearing.”

“I got it,” Ash hummed. “I remember some wild stuff, plus everything you’ve mentioned. Most kids books don’t have the main characters kill Hitler. Lump it in with Warriors and Guardians of Ga'hoole under ‘books I should probably have not been allowed to read but completely changed my brain chemistry as a child,’ eheh.” 

“Right?!” Maru resounded, leaning forwards even further. He was tapping his hooves against the couch in excitement, tail flicking. “Like—they’re constantly almost dying, their families are involved, it’s all insane.” 

“Not to mention the sheer amount of alien nonsense,” Ash agreed. “Book four is like, Atlantis, right?” 

“Yeah!” Maru leapt up from where he sat, and Ash leaned to one side, avoiding the sharp end of his horn. He shoved his nose into his bag and came out holding a simple journal in his mouth, levitating another, fancier one with his horn. He set the journal down and searched through the opening pages. 

“I’ve been taking notes as I go,” he explained, distracted. Ash leaned forwards to try and get a look, but they weren’t wearing their glasses, so it was legible as chicken scratch from this far away. “Here—yeah, this is the one where two of them just start having visions for no reason, and then they have to go find Ax underwater.”

“Forgot about the visions,” Ash mused. “What else is going on there? I remember some crazy water animal, right?” 

“Mhm!” Maru’s horn literally sparked with giddy excitement. Ash reached out and extinguished a spark that landed on the oatmeal cookie platter; it was pleasantly warm between their fingers. “It’s this big whale thing that’s got like, thirty tails, and it’s all red. I swear I have a pen somewhere, I could draw—”

He was cut short by a sudden ripple in the air. Like hazy heatwaves, an image swam in between the two friends, flickering like a low-battery flashlight. It was a great, hulking thing, with ruby red skin and eyes that seemed to glare out of its realm of nothingness at the two. The whole thing was cast in minty green light that streamed from Maru’s horn, not unlike a projector. 

The room was dead silent as the image faded away, the unicorn’s horn going dim once more. Ash blinked the bright afterimage out of their vision, the dread gaze hanging in their mind. 

“Dude.”

“I-I don’t know how I did that!” Maru yelped almost immediately. “I’ve barely even started studying illusion magic!” 

“No. Dude.” Ash knocked a fist on the wooden chair, and Maru’s muzzle snapped shut. “That was awesome.” 

Maru looked like he might faint, but he gulped it down. “Yeah. Y-yeah, it was cool. It was just sudden, is all.”

“Two questions,” Ash stated, holding up a hand. “One, what do you mean by studying?” They held up a finger. “Two, think you can do that again?” A second finger went up, and they waggled them in front of Maru’s snout. 

In response, the book on the couch came to life, floating up in the air. “Uh, I found it a few days after… y’know. The whole thing. It’s a book of Equestrian magic, I think, so unless there are other unicorns out there, I can’t see it being for anyone else.” 

“Also awesome,” Ash interjected. That brought a smile to Maru’s face again, wiping away the shocked expression. Good.

“As for doing it again… maaaaybe? Like I said, I don’t even know how I managed it the first time.” Maru shoved his journal aside to make room on the floor in front of him, dropping it open to a bookmarked page. Complex diagrams covered it, labeled with what Ash could only assume were notes on casting technique and the like. That sounded… magic-y enough. 

“Do you want to try it again?” Ash pushed, unable to keep a hint of excitement out of their voice. It wasn’t every day you got to see magic purple ponies, after all. 

“I mean, yeah, obviously,” Maru sighed, tapping his hoof on the page. 

“Let’s do it, then!” 

“How are we supposed to replicate an accident, though?” 

Ash shrugged. “More book club, obviously. Here, I’ll get back into place…” they trailed off as they threw their legs back over the armrest of the chair, shifting back and forth to get comfy. “There. Then you can look at your spell book, but don’t focus on it; just keep talking about Animorphs.”

The pony gave them a baleful look. “I don’t know if Animorphs is the answer to everything, Ash.” 

“C’mooon, Maru, just give it a try. Look, I’m even eating another cookie. I swear you can’t even tell it’s a new one.” True to their word, Ash snagged another oatmeal cookie and took a bite, opening their mouth to show off the half-chewed mush. Maru stuck his tongue out, turning away.

“Fine, just never do that again,” he chided. 

Ash gave him a thumbs up, then swallowed. “Okay. Book four. The Animorphs are… what, on a boat? Stranded in the middle of the ocean? Flying above it? Where are our heroes?” 

Maru rolled his eyes at the theatrics. “Boat, yeah. So, Tobias and Cassie were having visions, right? And then they all saw these ocean ruins on the news and recognized the writing on them as Andalite language, and it gave them such a powerful vision that both of them blacked out.” Maru sighed. “Look, Ash, I don’t know if this is gonna work.”

“No, no, keep going!” they protested. “Seriously, now I’m just into the story. I wanna hear about it.” 

Maru shrugged. “If you say so. The Animorphs had to make it out to the middle of the ocean, right? But it was too far for the two hour morph limit, so they had to get onto a boat somehow…” 

Ash listened attentively, doing their best to look relaxed while keeping an eye on Maru’s horn. It was an experiment, sure, but it was also just fun to listen to him talk about something he was so clearly passionate about. Whether or not they got to see some more magic, Ash considered this a successful book club. I’ll have to catch up a bit further for next time, they thought. Otherwise it’s just gonna be a storytelling hour featuring Maru.

The pony’s explanation of the book trailed off. He squinted, attempting to readjust his glasses with a hoof, only succeeding in knocking them further off kilter. A bit of telekinesis righted them. “Uh. These words are starting to make more sense to me. Should I be worried?” 

Ash made a noise somewhere in between ‘probably?’ and ‘no clue, you’re the magic expert.’ “Try reading them, see if that activates the spell or something. Then keep talking about Animorphs, every time you get into it your horn starts glowing. I’m sure there’s some magic-pony-emotion-thing going on.” 

Maru stuck his snout basically into the spellbook, squinting harder. “The Animorphs are with Ax, under the ocean, right? This one’s like….” He pronounced a word in a language that made Ash shudder, the syllables slipping around their ear like water currents. “And Visser 3 knows they’re there. Um, ssslierat alethandra. They need to get out before the whole ship gets blown up by the Yeerks, and…” 

He kept going, but Ash was finding it hard to concentrate. The magic words interspersed in the story weren’t just impossible to understand; they were actually difficult to listen to. They kept knocking around in their head, taking up far too much space, drowning out the rest of the story. An ache began to pulse inside their skull, and they rubbed their temples, trying to ease the pressure. 

They could tell Maru had taken a breath, but Ash couldn’t manage to get out anything than a grunted “Uh-huh.” He immediately launched back into the story-spell, and their headache continued to get worse. Their hand bumped uncomfortably against their forehead; Ash pulled it back, vision swimming. 

What was in front of them was very clearly a hoof. “Agh. Maru?” they mumbled, head pounding. He didn’t seem to hear. With another one of the strange phrases, their back arched, hip bones reknitting themselves and making the seated position awkward to maintain. 

This was, of course, not a great situation. Whatever spell Maru had, it wasn’t illusions—it was turning Ash into a pony, too. They grunted as their shirt grew tight under the flannel, aching back consolidating into two oddly textured lumps that strained to be freed. Ash had to stop him reading it and fast—they couldn’t be a pony, because tomorrow, they had classes to attend, and the two were very likely going to be at odds with one another. 

“Yeah, yeah. Hey, Maru?” They tried to interrupt him again, but they were slurring their words, voice quiet under the strain of the changes. They coughed, and the cough turned into a hack that stretched their neck to twice its regular length. “Maru!” 

They twisted around, frantic now. Maru’s eyes had a silvery sheen over them, vision locked to the tome on the floor. His horn was alight with shining magic, brighter than Ash had seen it the whole evening, bathing the room in an eerie green glow. The sight would have been exceptionally frightening, had he not been relating the plot of The Message, book four of Animorphs by K.A. Applegate. That part made it only moderately-to-somewhat frightening. 

Ash nearly passed out as, with one word, the pain suddenly spearheaded somewhere near their prefrontal cortex, then blossomed outward. They held their face with a hoof and a hand, feeling as a horn sprouted between them, fortunately passing right between two fingers instead of stabbing into them. It was sharp. 

“Listen, Maru, I—”

Shhhrrrip! One shoe tore in half, another creamy blue hoof poking through it. Ash kept trying. 

“I really think—”

Another magic word, and Ash’s hair was obscuring their vision, fluffing out into a styled mane. The blonde faded to green, then a deep blue towards the end. 

“Would you stop reading?!”

With a mighty tear, two feathered wings BURST from Ash’s back alongside a long, flowing tail. With their already precarious choice of seating position, the shove from beneath was all it took to shove them up and back. They flailed four hooves as they tipped over the armrest. Their wings flared outwards to help, which accomplished exactly the opposite, unceremoniously dumping them right onto their head. Collapsed in a heap of shredded clothing, mussy mane, and bedraggled feathers, Ash let out a deep sigh. One final magical word made two pointed pony ears pop into existence, peeking out from their mane. 

Well, they thought. At least now I get to see if I like the oatmeal cookies more.

~ ~ ~ 

“...the sperm whales let them ride them back to shore, and Ax… oh.” Maru blinked as he reached the end of the spell. His horn was glowing, but no alien fish swam through the air this time, glowering at its real compatriots. “Nothing? I swear I said it right….” 

He glanced once more through the spell. That really was all of it? The story idea had been interesting, and he had an easier time making out the runes now, but it really had been for naught. He sighed; Ash’s ideas were usually too silly to work, and half the time they were jokes, anyway. 

A whinny somewhere behind him stopped him dead. Maru’s stomach dropped, ears laying back. Oh no.

He spun around and clapped both hooves to his mouth, suppressing a shriek. A large alicorn was propped up against the couch, upside down. One he knew well—he’d drawn this alicorn, back when he’d had the ability to hold a tablet pen. 

“Ash?” he gasped, horn sparking again. One of the motes of light drifted down and rested atop their brand new snout. They blew it away, clearly exasperated. 

“That would be me, yes,” they said sardonically. 

“But you’re—”

“Yes,” they interrupted, sounding grave. “It appears my ass is, in fact, a horse.” Based on the unfortunate positioning, this was an easy fact to confirm. The deadpan delivery was even enough to push past the usual cartoon censorship. One of their shoes dropped off a hoof, smacking into their horn and bouncing away. “Along with the rest of me. Help me up, yeah?” 

Maru nodded and rushed over, tripped over himself in his haste. He braced his shoulder against the lounge chair and pushed, sliding it over the floor, only stepping on Ash’s wings and mane once or twice in the process. They wriggled all four legs, trying to right themselves. Maru helped tilt them and got smacked with a wing as they came rightside up, a wobbling mess. 

“Now then.” Ash stood up, taking a step towards Maru. Or, well, they tried. They only succeeded in throwing themselves face-first back to the ground. They quickly sat back up and coughed. 

“Ah. What I meant to say was this.” They reached out a hoof, pawing at the Animorphs book that had been dumped to the floor along with themselves. They made a motion as if picking it up and raising it into the air, and seemed surprised at how ineffectual this was in accomplishing anything whatsoever. They sucked in an annoyed breath, raising an eyebrow at Maru. 

“Look, the page SAID illusion, I swear,” he said, but the excuse sounded a little lame. “I… don’t even really remember casting it. I said it exactly like it was on the page.” 

Ash sighed. “I’m sure it said illusion. I trust you, Maru. However—” they raised both wings. “—I am also a pony. So something went wrong. You looked like you’d been possessed when you were casting that thing.” 

Maru opened his mouth, but Ash continued before he could speak. “Not actually possessed. Sorry, I don’t think my apartment is haunted. Maybe next time though.” 

Even despite the panic, Maru sighed, a little disappointed. “At least that would give an explanation. I’m sorry, Ash.” 

Despite the situation and all the awful feelings swirling around in Maru’s stomach, there was a deep-seated relief. At least I’m not alone. It was something of a selfish thought, but it was true.

Ash clicked their tongue. “Yeah. I bet. Listen, bookmark that page for later and stop working on illusion spells for now. Book club only goes until 8 and I need to learn how to move things with my mind before your ride shows up.” They tapped their horn with a hoof. 

“I can help!” Maru agreed readily. “It’s the least I can do. It’s not that hard once you start to figure it out.” 

“Sweet. Y’know, Animorphs kinda got it right with their transformation scenes, honestly. Felt like I was living the book.” Ash cracked a grin, and Maru groaned internally. He knew that grin. “On the bright side, I can think of a few people who are gonna be sooo jealous.” 

“Ash, I forbid you from gloating,” he snapped. 

“Oh, come on! You know I gotta. Just think of the funny pictures I could send!” They pushed themselves to their feet, shaky, but didn’t fall this time. Maru propped them up against his shoulder, and despite their extra alicorn height, he was pleased to see he still stood shoulder-to-shoulder with the other pony. 

They walked through the apartment, still arguing as they left the sitting room and the oatmeal cookies behind. There was a lot to go over, but the evening was young. There would be time. In the end, the only true tragedy of their first ever book club meeting was that the book itself lay discarded, flatly undiscussed. As it turned out, fascinating as Animorphs was, there were several more interesting things to discuss that night.

[spaceskam]

anon prompt: Since you write amazing spite fics (and also just true-to-canon-and-therefore-unflattering-to-certain-characters fic), I wanted to ask if you'd be interested in writing something where someone (or let's be real, everyone) overhears Michael tell Alex that "You're the best sex I've ever had"? Possibly in the context of Alex having a bad hook-up or feeling insecure about his leg and Michael getting really outraged and protective on his behalf

“Here to drink your sorrows away?”

“I’m really not in the mood to deal with you right now.”

Isobel was nosy. She wasn’t very quiet about that and her brothers knew that better than anyone. The fact that Michael had willingly walked up to his ex-lover in his girlfriend’s bar when Isobel was right there was genuinely his own fault.

Alex was hunched over his drink like he had been for the last hour. He’d strolled in not long before closing and now the place was virtually empty with the exception of the town’s resident aliens and their select humans. But, still, Alex hadn’t been invited. He’d turned up on his own accord and Isobel couldn’t find it in herself to be surprised when Michael navigated towards him. She was more surprised it took so long.

“Didn’t realize my presence required a specific mood,” Michael said. They were technically speaking in hushed tones, but the bar was quiet aside from the pissing contest Max, Rosa, and Maria were having at the pool table, the medical jargon Kyle and Liz were conversing over, and the quiet Nirvana album playing quietly through the speakers. Isobel found Michael and Alex significantly more interesting than either of those.

“You know it does,” Alex sighed, swishing around the whiskey in his glass before downing it.

“Did something happen?” Michael asked even quieter than before. Alex didn’t respond. “Do I need to go kick someone’s ass? ‘Cause I will.”

Alex huffed a laugh and it was almost sad. Isobel leaned closer.

“So you’ve crossed into big brother territory? Good to know,” he said dryly. Micahel eyed him in a way Isobel had only seen him look at Alex Manes.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Mean’s you’ve made yourself loud and clear, Guerin, and so has everyone else,” Alex said, reaching over to steal his drink. Isobel tried to keep her reaction to herself but she’d never actually seen Alex drink so freely. He usually liked to keep on his toes.

“What are you talking about?” Michael prodded. Alex closed his eyes as he took a sip of the whiskey and, honestly, she was impressed it hadn’t been laced with something else.

“About the fact that I’m apparently really bad in bed,” Alex said, pausing, “Or maybe I haven’t quite gotten the hang of it with one leg yet and it’s throwing my off my game.”

Michael snorted a laugh, leaning closer in amusement, “You can’t be serious.”

“Oh, I’m serious. Deadly,” Alex said, “You know, I had a date tonight. Super hot, super nice. It was all fun and games until we got back to his place, right? We’re making out, groping, all good.” Isobel had to lean to get a glimpse of Michael’s face. He looked just as shaken by Alex’s blunt honesty as she’d expected. It was hard not to laugh. “But apparently I was so bad that he didn’t have words.”

“Alex, I think I can speak for everyone in saying that being speechless does not equal bad,” Michael laughed, shifting as he tried to make himself less uncomfortable with the prospect of Alex sleeping with someone else just hours before this. A quick look around the bar proved that their close proximity had alerted some of the other patrons, namely Maria who had stopped trying to prove herself as the better pool player in favor of watching the gap between their biceps close.

“No, not speechless. He was like, ‘well, uh, yeah, that was... yeah’ and then basically kicked me out,” Alex huffed. Michael shook his head.

“Well, then he was an ass.”

“I don’t know, I feel like it had to be me ‘cause I thought it was going at least mostly good,” Alex sighed.

“No, look, trust me, it was not you,” Michael said, huffing a laugh, “Trust me.”

Alex looked to him thoughtfully, eyes investigating every single milimeter of his face. Isobel couldn’t help but smile and she looked over to see Maria still staring, but now Rosa was too and Max was trying not to. 

“Why should I? How do I know every time with you, you weren’t just faking it?” Alex asked. Michael let out a soft laugh.

“Faking what? Enjoying it? Yeah, I’m not that good of an actor, Manes,” he said, “You’re just really good at what you do.”

“Oh, am I?” Alex challenged. Isobel’s eyes widened and she had to cover her mouth with her hand, trying not to ruin their little dance. Maria, however, seemed to be getting increasingly alarmed and the room had gone virtually silent, only the soft music playing in the background now. 

“Any guy who acts like you’re bad in bed just doesn’t know what they’ve got,” Michael told him, voice quieter like he was aware that people might overhear but it wasn’t quiet enough, “’Cause you’re easily the best sex I’ve ever had.”

Maria scoffed and Isobel absolutely expected that to break the trance those two seemed to be in, but it didn’t. Which, honestly, was far more interesting.

“The best?” Alex said doubtfully, enunciating every single letter and seeming to capture Michael’s brain cells to hold them hostage. Isobel had a feeling that they only way he’d get them back is if he did something that really required no audience. “As in worthy of a repeat?”

“Easily,” Michael confirmed. 

They stared at each other in silence and everyone in the room stared at them. It was almost weird to see them so close and talking so intimately, but it was only weird because they never did it with so many eyes on them. They really must’ve had a healthy amount of alcohol in their system to be ballsy enough to do that.

Isobel wondered just how obvious they needed to be before Maria got the memo.

They seemed to come out of it when Maria loudly put the pool cue down on the table, both sliding back into normalcy as if they hadn’t just had a whole moment in front of everyone. They were still sort of close, but there was some space between them and they were back to facing the bar rather than each other. Isobel shook her head in amazement.

“Guerin,” Maria said sharply, “Can we talk?”

With a sigh, Michael dragged himself off the bar stool to go have their talk in private. Or as private as it could be. The walls were thin and it didn’t take superhuman hearing to hear her saying how inappropriate that was. Isobel, on the other hand, found it hard to keep her laugh to herself as she slid in the seat beside Alex.

“You are one hell of a force to be reckoned with, Alex Manes,” she said.

“What?” he asked, batting his eyelashes all innocently, “Did I do something wrong?”

“You little minx,” Isobel laughed, shaking her head.

Alex smiled to himself and took another sip of Michael’s drink, sighing all content as Michael and Maria broke up over his public confession.

“Absolutely.”

[deathtriangles]

I've got a fun game for you to play! Book an AEW trios tournament with RANDOM TEAMS! Put the AEW roster into a random generator and generate trios teams with 1 woman and 2 men. Even more fun - put the managers in too and generate managers for the teams! Then, deduce who you think would win and why! Have fun!

THIS SOUNDS SO FREAKING FUN AND I AM HERE FOR THIS !!!!! LETS GO !!!! ✨✨✨ So for this, I’ve randomly generated 16 teams ~ each has 2 men, a woman and a manager as requested~ As for who i think would win, I, as a lover of a good babyface team, am going with TEAM 4 !!! 👀

TEAM 1 : Angelico, Wardlow & Diamante, managed by Matt Hardy: OKAY THIS IS PRETTY BADASS!!!!! With Matt Hardy managing them, this would be a heel team for sure!

TEAM 2 : Matt Jackson, Serena Deeb & Chuckie T, managed by Jake Roberts: OMG this is a far cry from Lance for poor old Jake the Snake!!! 😂 I feel like Jake’s role as manager would basically be that one grumpy grandad at all the school meets. A face team which Jake would want to be a heel team

TEAM 3 : Stu Grayson, The Butcher & Riho, managed by Arn Anderson: this is even more random than the last one LMFAO !!!! would pop for riho and stu doing their flying moves off of the butcher’s shoulders! like jake arn is just looking at his team like 👁👄👁 A face team for sure, as the sweet Stu and Riho melt the Butcher’s hard exterior and let him have fun!

TEAM 4 : Jon Moxley, John Silver & Yuka Sakazaki, managed by Billy Gunn: FAVOURITE TEAM SO FAR I STAN THESE 4 !!!! this team , especially with lovable goofballs Yuka and Silver, is so freaking fun! Billy would be like that dad who cheers his kiddos on with everything he has ! 🥺🥺🥺 A proper baybface team who i would book TO WIN for the lovable goofballs to come out on top!

TEAM 5 : Cody Rhodes, Alan Angels & Nyla Rose, managed by Sting: OKAY BUT NYLA BULLYING FIVE WOULD BE SO FUNNY !!!! A proper tweener team, Cody and Nyla butt heads all the time while poor Five is stuck in the middle. Would definitely go out of the tournament early due to bad teamwork dynamics costing them the opening match

TEAM 6 : Pac, Cash Wheeler & Thunder Rosa, managed by Taz: THIS TEAM IS F*CKING BADASS!!!!!!! A trio of absolute asskickers with the baddest manager!!!  Cash would like Pac since even though he flips, he uses a lot more fists nowadays! A tweener team who just wants to kick ass and take names and this philosphy will lead them to the finals, but sadly not to the win.

TEAM 7 : MJF, Luchasaurus & Kris Statlander, managed by Vickie Guerrero: MJF IN BIZARRO WORLD BASICALLY ! 😂 mans forced to team with a dinosaur, a cougar and a freaking alien. He would pull a Mox from Episode 3 and just flip them off and leave. Wouldn’t make it far. 

TEAM 8 : Dax Harwood, Miro & Red Velvet, managed by Tully Blanchard: Dax keeps his manager !!! A heel team with Velvet outnumbered in the dynamics and she leaves the trio early in the tournament, therefore forfeiting their place, because the team keeps using dirty tactics to get ahead.

TEAM 9 : Rey Fenix, Orange Cassidy & Jade Cargill, managed by Reba: OMG THIS IS RANDOM BUT AMAZING ! 😂 orange takes every opportunity to not get involved. the reba scream haunts everyone. think they’re a heel team but in reality they’re a face team 💅🏻

TEAM 10 : Hangman, Brian Cage & Tay Conti, managed by Paul Wight: This is a babyface team of badasses as well !!! PLUS tay and hangman can technically recreate the buckshot/v-trigger combo! 🥺 their teamwork would take them far, likely to the semis!

TEAM 11 : Chris Jericho, The Blade & Dr Britt Baker D.M.D., managed by Don Callis: A BUNCHA CARNIES !!!! Chris and Britt together is lit as anything, gotta love the role models~ ofc they would come in to Callis’ amazing IMPACT entrance music

TEAM 12: Lance Archer, Sonny Kiss & Anna Jay, managed by Jerry Lynn: Sonny and Anna being together is EVERYTHING !!!!! lance doesn’t care as long as everybody dies. jerry is the wholesome dad. babyfaces for sure

TEAM 13 : Brandon Cutler, Jungle Boy & Penelope Ford, managed by The Bunny: What happens when a D&D Geek, Tarzan, a psycho bunny and Penelope meet in a bar ??? weird team for sure but honestly it could work! At least penelope got her book club bestie there

TEAM 14 : Kenny Omega, Evil Uno & Big Swole, managed by -1: VIDEO GAME DORKSSSS !!!! Swole better be organising their cosplay gear is all I’m saying !!!! 

TEAM 15 : Eddie Kingston, Penta El Zero M & Maki Itoh, managed by Tony Schiavone: I’M CREASING THE WAR BETWEEN EDDIE AND TONY CONTINUES 😂 maki sings over every promo the team cuts for her simps. a fun comedy team for sure, with some heat from the former best friends Eddie and Penta!

TEAM 16 : Powerhouse Hobbs, Ricky Starks & Hikaru Shida, managed by Excalibur: THEY DID THE DEAL!!!! Amazing luck that Ricky and Hobbs get paired together and Shida is badass enough to carry any team. Would make it far for sure~

[kher4life-blog]

My Stalker - My best friend - 0137 Part One: Introduction: 37, 73, 137 and Qabalah

SEPTEMBER 29, 2014 BY JAKOB THELEN

ciphers names of godCiphers and Cryptography: A Very Brief Foundation

The use of ciphers and subtle allusions in mysticism, philosophy, literature and religion, though generally ignored or unknown in modernity (by and large), are indeed well-established practices (such as the three literary practices in Qabalah, all of which involve some form of cryptography: transpositioning; substitution; skip-codes; re-arrangements of text into columns, as with the 72 Names of God; interpretation as number; etc).

“Ciphers are hidden in the most subtle manner: they may be concealed in the watermark of the paper upon which a book is printed…bound into the covers of ancient books…hidden under imperfect pagination; they may be extracted from the first letters of words or the first words of sentences; they may be artfully concealed in mathematical equations or in apparently unintelligible characters…they may be word ciphers, letter ciphers…they may be discovered in the elaborately illuminated initial letters of early books or they may be revealed by a process of counting words or letters.” – Manly Palmer Hall, The Secret Teachings of All Ages, p. 491.

Repetitions

Some of the more observant readers may have noticed in various books, films, TV shows and the like, a profound repetition of three distinct numbers: 37, 73 and 137. I offer the following examples:

Literature and Poetry: 1308-1870

Dante Alighieri’s Inferno (c. 1308-1321 AD): The 7th realm contains 3 spheres (this could be an allusion to the harmonic ratio 7:3) Jules Verne’s Twenty-Thousand Leagues Under The Sea (1870): 37 and 73 are referenced no less than 7 times throughout (as is the Golden Section, no less than four times). For example: “Now, had it not been for the exceptional strength of the Moravian’s hull, she would have been shattered by the shock of collision and have gone down with all hands, plus the two hundred and thirty-seven passengers she was bringing home to Canada.” p. 16(It may be worth noting that the name Moravian could be read as the French “Mort a vient,” a grammatically flawed phrase yielding roughly “Death has come.” Jules Verne was French.) “In a smooth sea, with a favorable breeze, on the 13th of April, 1867, the Scotia, of the Cunard Company‘s line, was in 15º 12’ longitude and 45º 37′ latitude.” pp. 16-17 “It came, therefore, to $337,500…” p. 83 “About eleven o’clock in the morning the Tropic of Capricorn was crossed on the 37th meridian, and we sighted Cape Frio standing out to sea.”These are only in one book! Surely these numbers could not have been chosen at random, Jules Verne was a very intelligent, meticulous author that dedicated great effort to his work. Verne was almost undoubtedly initiated – as revealed by his novels, the two most obvious being The Green Ray and Robur the Conqueror (R.C., Rosae-Crucis). The company he kept also establish this connection quite conclusively (refer for example to Hetzel). Aside from these, examine his tombstone closely and you will see a definitively occult sculpture, showing him emerging from the grave with arm extended (not unlike Michelangelo’s Creation of Adam) shrugging off the veil of the material in aspiration. All quotes here given were taken from the Readers Digest edition (in English). Film and Media: 1984-2012

Eddie Murphy’s Beverly Hills Cop III (1994): In the beginning it reads “Tuesday, 1:37 AM.” The Big Bang Theory: Sheldon asks, “What is the best number? -By the way, there’s only one correct answer…The best number is 73…it is the 21st prime number. It’s mirror 37 is the 12th…” Significantly, this appears in episode 73: The Alien Parasite Hypothesis (S.4 e.10). Tim Allen’s Last Man Standing: Tim’s boss says: “…on page 37 of Tzun Tzu’s The Art of War…” 21 Jump Street (2012): The police officer mistakenly says near the beginning: “37 Jump Street. 22 Jump Street (2014):During the football game a player on the sidelines is wearing jersey #37 (approx. 1hr in, center-background).There are countless other examples, but these few should serve to illustrate the on-going obsession. Though some of these are more subtle than others, all are intentional. What makes these numbers so special? What are all of these directors, producers, actors, writers and poets -spanning over 600 years- pointing to? Creation

2nd

Gematria: Wisdom in Number

Gematria is a Qabalistic practice that involves assigning particular numerical values to certain letters. It is one of the three literary Qabalistic practices, the other two being Notarikon and Temurah. It is most commonly seen in Hebrew or Greek, though there is substantial evidence both Arabic and Sanskrit have been similarly employed. In fact, the Vedic Katapayadi System proves without doubt that our current chronology for the discovery of pi is wrong (more later). Many attempt to apply similar cryptographic techniques – i.e. Qabalistic permutations – to languages of the Latin alphabet such as English, albeit with little success. There are two systems most commonly employed: The Ordinal, which is simply the placement value of each letter (1-22); and The Standard, in which the 11th letter becomes 20 and the 21st becomes 300 (1-400). Typically, in Hebrew, Greek and Arabic gematria the latter system is used, while in Mayalana and Sanskrit katapayadi the former is most commonly seen.

(An easy way to remember the Standard Gematria values is to simply add the two numbers and put a zero on the end. For instance, Mem is the 13th Hebrew letter and it has a standard value of 40 [1+3=4, add a zero=40]. If it is 10s, add one zero; if it is 20s, add two [Tau=22, 2+2=4, add 2 zeros=400]. For

those who may have difficulty, this ‘rule’ works invariably for Hebrew.)

Before we continue, I feel that a comprehensive chart of the Hebrew alephbeit will help (we will only be focusing on Hebrew for now). The esoteric meaning is bracketed, while the literal is written plainly: (Ordinal) (Standard) PALEO-HEBREW CELESTIAL YETZIRATIC

ENGLISH HEBREW VALUE SYMBOL CORRELATE DIVISIONS

A 1. Aleph = 1 = א = An Ox 1. Air 1 (Mother) (Father)

B / V 2. Beit = 2 = ב = House 2. Mercury 1 (Double)

(Mother)

G 3. Gimel = 3 = ג = Camel 3. Luna 2 (Double)

(Nature)

D 4. Dalet = 4 = ד = Door 4. Venus 3 (Double)

(Authority)

H 5. Hé = 5 = ה = Window 5. Aries 1 (Simple)

(Religion)

V 6. Vau = 6 = ו = Nail 6. Taurus 2 (Simple)

(Liberty)

Z 7. Zain = 7 = ז = Weapon 7. Gemini 3 (Simple)

(Ownership)

Kh / Ch 8. Cheit = 8 = ח = Fence 8. Cancer 4 (Simple)

(Distribution)

T 9. Teit = 9 = ט = Serpent 9. Leo 5 (Simple)

(Prudence)

I 10. Yod = 10 = י = Hand 10. Virgo 6 (Simple)

(Order)

K 11. Kaph = 20 = כ = Palm 11. Jupiter 4 (Double)

(Force)

L 12. Lamed = 30 = ל = Ox-Goad 12. Libra 7 (Simple)

(Sacrifice)

M 13. Mem = 40 = מ = Water 13. Water 2 (Mother)

(Death)

N 14. Nun = 50 = נ = Fish 14. Scorpio 8 (Simple)

(Reversibility)

S 15. Samekh = 60 = ס = Support 15. Sagittarius 9 (Simple)

(Universality)

O 16. Ayin = 70 = ע = Eye 16. Capricorn 10 (Simple)

(Balance)

P / F 17. Pé (fé) = 80 = פ = Mouth 17. Mars 5 (Double)

(Immortality)

Tz 18. Tzaddi = 90 = צ = Fish-hook 18. Aquarius 11 (Simple)

(Shadow)

Q 19. Qoph = 100 = ק = Back Head 19. Pisces 12 (Simple)

(Light)

R 20. Resh = 200 = ר = Head 20. Sol 6 (Double)

(Recognition)

Sh 21. Shin = 300 = ש = Tooth 21. Fire 3 (Mother)

(Sacred Fire)

T 22. Tau = 400 = ת = Cross 22. Saturn; 7 (Double)

(Synthesis) Earth Element

*Note: The English letters are meant to convey the pronunciation. The seemingly random arrangement of attributions (i.e. Simple, Double, Mother) is only apparent: when sorted according to the Sepher Yetzirah, or Book of Formation, the Elements emerge in the Three Mothers; the Planets in the Seven Doubles; and the Zodiac in the Twelve Simple or perhaps inappropriately named ‘Elemental’ letters. This arrangement was allegedly designed with the intent of mirroring the occurrence of God in Genesis: “God Made” 3 times, “God Saw” 7 times, and “God -” 12 times; “God said” 10 times, reflected in the 10 Sephiroth or Emanations of the Tree of Life.

(See: Adele Nozedar’s The Illustrated Signs and Symbols Sourcebook, Frater Achad’s Q.B.L., and the Sepher Yetzirah for sources of these symbolic attributions.)

The word Chokmah, meaning Wisdom, has two values – one according to each of the systems mentioned above. It has an ordinal value of 37(ח כ מ ה = Cheit8 + Kaph11 + Mem13 +Hé5 = 37) and a standard value of 73 (8+20+40+5=73). The latter is “the best number” according to Chuck Lorre, while the former is a religious and literary favourite.

Threes and Sevens Everywhere According to the gospel accounts, Jesus Christ performed exactly 37 miracles in his lifetime. The average pregnancy lasts between 37 and 42 weeks (42 being “The answer to life, the universe, and everything in it” to Hitchiker’s fans), and 37º Celsius is the normal human body temperature. The name Elohim (Heb. Lord, Ruler, God, Power[s]) appears for the 37th time in Genesis 3:3:

“But of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die.”

To re-appropriate Revelation 13:18, “Here is wisdom.” How elegant that the verse containing the 37th occurrence of Elohim should be one with that which forbids man from eating the Fruit of Death! – This is indeed wise advice, as will be seen in a much later part (Part V).

Mathematically, 3 and 7 are the only two dimensions in which binary problems (i.e. defining vector products) may be solved. This in itself makes them incredibly useful numbers. 37 is the 12th prime number, while 73 is the 21st; 37 is the 3rd star number, while 73 is the 4th.

For those unaware, numbers are inherently capable of representing geometric forms: for example, 3, composed of 3 individual units [called counters] creates a triangle. 3 is technically the second [1+2=3], while 6 is the third [1+2+3=6] and 10 is the fourth [1+2+3+4=10]. The latter forms the Pythagorean Tetractys. There are squares, cubes, stars, indeed all manner of shapes, typically referred to as figurate numbers.)

If we add the star placement values of 37 and 73 (3+4=7), as well as their two prime-number placement values (12+21=33), we obtain the Days of Creation and the traditional lifespan of it’s Redeemer (many Christian traditions claim that this was the age of Christ at death, though Luke 3:23 states that he was “about 30”).

7 and 33

The Days of Creation and the age of Christ -derived from Chokmah- offer much wisdom. For one, 33-7=26, the gematria of Yahweh ( י ה ו ה = Yod10 + Hé5 + Vau6 + Hé5 = 26). Our modern week is exactly 7 days, and it takes exactly 33 years for the sun to rise a second time in the same spot over the Earth (this is the lifecycle of the Solar Man, partial key to 33 and its relevance to the so-called World Mystery – as Manly Hall puts it). There were 7 Classical Planets. The visible-light spectrum consists of precisely 7 colours (of which 3 are primary), the modern musical scale consists of 7 notes (do re mi fa so la ti; the second ‘do’ is the first octave [from Lat. Octavus, eighth], or double the first note), while there are 7 modes used in Western music (Ionian, Dorian, Phrygian, Lydian, Mixolydian, Aeolian, and Locrian. Interestingly, in Carnatic or South Indian Classical Music, there are 72!). The frequency of 1:1, aka Unison or the C-note = 33 on a Harmonograph, and perhaps most importantly: the human head has 7 orifices and the human spinal cord has 33 discs (24 upper, 5 to the sacrum and 4 to the coccyx). These latter two are reflected in the Macrocosm of the ancients, the 7 Planets and the 33-Year Solar Journey. This surely would have been seen as profoundly significant. Shockingly, the ratio of Moon:Earth = 3:11. The median of these two numbers is 7, and their multiplied sum is 33 (it is quite likely that the ancients were aware of this ratio, as will be demonstrated in a much later segment).

There are 7 Chakras (from Sanskrit, meaning “wheel”), now believed to be the 7 major endocrine glands (there are also the parathyroid, hypothalamus and gastrointestinal tract -yielding a true total of 10-11, that are not considered part of the “major” endocrine glands). Surely a great many Vedic and Tantric sages would scoff at the notion that the whirling vortices of latent energy are material in nature; in many cases the body is used as an analogy to something non-material, as a Sacred Map of the ethereal realm. In any case their knowledge of human anatomy is certainly rather impressive.

(The Egyptians were similarly well-educated, performing incredibly daunting surgeries with tools still in use today. Herodotus and many other Greek historians have claimed that their knowledge was derived from that of Egypt, and there has been much speculation that the knowledge of Pythagoras was in fact Indian in origin. Take for example this quote from a 1775 letter written by Voltaire: “I am convinced that everything has come down to us from the banks of the Ganga – Astronomy, Astrology, Spiritualism, etc.. It is very important to note that some 2,500 years ago at the least Pythagoras went from Samos to the Ganga to learn Geometry.” The former half of this statement is at least partially verified by Hadith Al-Halila – also referred to as the Islamic Tradition of the Myrobalan Fruit, or more recently, The Confutation of Atheism. In this text a Muslim preacher discourses with an Indian atheist physician, who describes that his people discovered and continue to practice Astrology – a science that is apparently unknown to the Imam. It is also known that Pythagoras had gone to Alexandria, but it is worth pointing out that the so-called ‘Pythagorean Theorem’ is seen in Baudhayana’s Shulba Sutra, a Vedic mathematical text that predates him by some two centuries.)

Note that the Kundalini Serpent resting in 3&1/2 coils in Muladhara (base), when awakened, traverses the 7 chakras along the 3 nadis: to the right, ida; the left, pingala; in the center lies Sushumna – Path of the Serpent of Awakening. Following a materialist line of thought, both ida and pingala may correspond to the spinal nerves that appear on each side (this would make Sushumna – the Serpent’s Path – the 33-disc spine in between). Here we see a Serpent traveling 33 discs along 3 nadis through 7 chakras.

In verse 2 of the Vedic Asya Vamasya (Riddle of the Sacrifice, Rig Veda 1.164), we read:

“Seven yoke the one-wheeled chariot drawn by one horse with seven names. All these creatures rest on the ageless and unstoppable wheel with three naves.”

The sum of all numbers in this verse equal 19, the number upon which both the Egyptian and the Mayan peoples based their mathematics (both used grids of 18:19; 18+19=37).

Given the omnipresence of 37 in so many religions (Jewish, Christian, Vedic), it should come as no surprise that, in the Buddhist Sambara-Mandala, we see exactly 37 goddesses – each being a personification of a particular characteristic or accessory to Enlightenment.

3rd

Illustration above: The 7 Major Endocrine Glands: 1 Pineal 2 Pituitary 3 Thyroid 4 Thymus 5 Adrenal 6 Pancreas 7 Ovary 8 Testis (from Wikipedia)

4th

Illustration of chakras: The 7 Main Chakras (from top down): 1 Crown: Violet, Sahasrara; Pineal; 2 Third-Eye/Brow: Indigo, Anja; Pituitary; 3 Throat: Blue, Visuddha; Thyroid; 4 Heart: Green, Anahata; Thymus; 5 Solar-Plexus: Yellow, Manipura; Adrenal; 6 Spleen: Orange, Svadisthana; Pancreas; 7 Root/Base: Red [often with yellow root-square], Muladhara; Ovaries or Testes.

http://www.spiritofthescripture.com/id2808-part-one-introdu…