#calum and y/n

[nobitchs-world]

Me after explaining the multiverse of different people and characters where I have different ocs in my head to my sisters

[ameliora-j]

Hey babe! Could you do beard burn with Calum? Like him just absolutely going to town on you and not caring about the rash he’s given you?🌟

THIS IS SO JENDISJENRJFKD brb switching lanes love u mikey !! ♡

content: beard!calum, oral (f!receiving), mean!calum (j mocking frl), bonus content at the end !! 18+ MDNI !!

“c-cal… gonna… gonna be late!” you whine out through moans, tugging at his curls as your eyes roll back. he hums, quickly coming up from between your legs to shoot you a smirk. you two are supposed to be heading to the ama’s, but calum had other plans once he saw you in the dress he’d picked out.

“darling… look at what you’ve got on” he mumbled, kissing up your thighs. your back arched and you whined as you felt his stubble rubbing against your already sensitive skin. “you look absolutely ravishing… let me finish and we’ll get going” he whispered, licking a bold stripe all the way up your pussy as he moaned at the taste.

the dress had a high slit up your right leg, and a very low back. simple spaghetti strings with an a-line, but he went wild as soon as he saw you put on the matching heels he had called in a favor for. you had mentioned how cool it would be to have a red pair of red bottoms to match your red dress, but louboutin didn’t sell any. so the only obvious answer was for calum to call and get a custom pair for you to wear for the awards show.

you were now sat on the edge of the bed, legs spread wide with calum kneeled between them as he practically made out with your cunt. you had cum once already, but he said it wasn’t enough for him, pressing you further into the mattress and continuing to eat your pussy like it was the last supper.

your thighs had begun to burn as you neared your first high, and the small rash from his stubble had only gotten worse the more he ate you out. “calum…” you whine as his lips wrap around your clit once more.

he chuckles meanly, pushing two fingers into your cunt and fingering you quickly to make you wrap your legs around his head. he groans as he feels one of your heels digging into his back, being motivated by the pain to double down. his arms wrap around your waist and he pulls your hips up, using his strength to grind your cunt against his face as he slurps at your juices.

you cry out his name, tugging harder at his hair as your legs begin to shake. he moans at the pain, shaking his head back and forth as he eats you, his beard rubbing up against your sensitive thighs as he tongue fucks you. “cumming!” you cry, barely able to give him a warning as his thumb connects with your clit and rubs it in quick, harsh circles.

he moans as he tastes you creaming on his tongue, making sure to slurp at his mess. your legs shake, hips twitching with aftershocks as he cleans your sticky cunt with his tongue. calum smirks as he sees the dazed look on your face, and it widens as he sees the red irritation marks forming on your thighs. he rubs his cheeks against them for good measure, chuckling meanly as you shriek and try to squeeze your legs shut to get away, only making the rash worse.

he knows you’re gonna be whining and squirming your way down the red carpet tonight and he couldn’t be more proud of this fact as he fixes your panties and helps you to stand so you can get to the car.

° 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ° 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ ° 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ

bonus!: you hear childish giggles and snorts as you leave the red carpet to go find your seats in the show, turning to glare at the other guys and their girlfriends. “what’s so funny?” you frown.

“first day walking in heels, yn?” sierra asks and the group laughs even harder. calum stands beside you with a proud smirk, holding your waist as he has you practically pressed against his side. he licks his lips, biting his bottom one gently at the recollection of what had occurred merely an hour before.

“not with the look calum has” michael smirked, causing the group to laugh harder—even earning a chuckle from calum himself. you gasp in mock offense, playfully slapping calum’s chest.

“oh i’m sorry princess” he mocks a pout, kissing your head. “it’s just so cute when you get all limp-y and try to walk so the beard burn doesn’t hurt” he whispers softly. “know it makes you more wet though, doesn’t it?” he mocks lowly so only you can hear.

the thick swallow that he hears is more than enough to give him an answer, and at that he just laughs harder.

[riya-kaur]

luke robert hemmings

five weeks.

summary: you were planning to suprise your fiancé later on his world tour, but something came up, which makes you impulsively decide to see him sooner.

please read a/n at the end!

it was early hours in the morning, the sun still not up from its rest from the day before.

you were currently rushing your way out of the airport, trying to find an uber in the arrivals section of london airport.

your fiancé and his bandmates were currently on a world tour, and right now, they were in manchester, england. you had planned to surprise the boys and your fiancé but little did you know you'd have another suprise to shock your fiancé with- this led you to impulsively buy a flight ticket yesterday from la to london.

no one but ben, the boy's manager, was aware of your spontaneous trip. you didn't exactly tell him the full reason behind your suprise, but he didn't seem suspicious enough to care.

once you left the airport, you found an uber and off you were to manchester. you had checked the day before on google to see how long the journey would take. you had learnt that it was a four hour journey to the city.

as you settled into the backseat of the uber, you see a notification appear on your phone- it was from your fiancé.

luke: hi baby, i know you're asleep right now, but i'm missing you, hope you're dreaming of me <3

you giggle to yourself, reading luke's message from the notification page, not wanting to click onto it so it doesn't appear as read, as in america you'd be asleep right now.

the four hour journey to manchester had flown by, you had fallen asleep on the backseat of the uber for the entire journey, you only woke up when the uber driver announced you were here.

you thanked him along with paying and tipping him before slipping out of the car, grabbing your shoulder bag from the seats.

you shut the car door and turned around, looking up at the tall building in front of you - it was the hotel they were staying in.

you reached for your phone, which was in the pocket of your jeans. you unlocked your phone with the password- which was luke's birthday, and clicked on your messages with ben.

you re-read his message from earlier today, which was him informing you of the room the boys would be in, 'room six hundred and thirty one' you read in your head before locking your phone and placing it back into your pocket.

you made your way into the hotel and located the elevators - or the lifts as the british say.

regardless, you pressed on the sixth floor, and in a matter of seconds, the elevator doors opened on the sixth floor.

you walked around the floor until you saw the room mentioned in the message, 'six hundred and thirty one' you repeated in your head.

and there you were, stood in front of room six hundred and thirty one, focusing on your breathing as you held your shoulder bag tightly.

you let your hand knock lightly on the door, you hear ruffling from the other side, and in mere minutes, the door opened to liz, luke's mom.

"what?- oh my god! honey!" she exclaimed as she wrapped her arms around you, lifting you up slightly of the floor. you giggled as you wrapped your arms around her, "hi mom" you smile.

you both pull away from the hug, liz slowly backing up so you can enter in. "oh honey, he's gonna be so excited to see you" liz exclaims.

you give her a smile before your eyes fall behind liz. you see the four boys lined up on the couch, their eyes and jaw widened as they looked at you, in front of them were two other people. you didn't recognise the two people but once you saw a camera beside them you clicked on.

"shit, are they in an interview?" you ask, locking eyes with your soon-to-be-mother-in-law. she gives you a small nod before she turns to look at the boys, who are still in shock.

your eyes focus on your fiancé, his eyebrows are knitted together as his jaw was dropped. he repeatedly blinks his eyes whilst looking at you before he stands up, "i'm sorry, can we take five" luke announces. "yes, of course. is everything okay?" the lady asks. "everything is perfect" luke smiles as he locks eyes with you.

he rushes over in front of you, looking down at you. "hi" you smile. he shakes his head in disbelief as he bends down slightly, letting his hand reach the bottom of your thighs, lifting you up, allowing your legs to wrap around him.

"i missed you so much," luke expresses. "lu, baby it's only been five weeks" you giggle as you hide your face in his neck, breathing in his scent. "that's five weeks too long, baby" he coos as he moves his head so he's looking into your eyes.

you give him a smile before reaching up to capture his lips on yours. his lips were slightly parted, so you let your tongue run across his bottom lip before he catched your tongue with his.

"is that y/n?" you both hear the lady say.

you feel luke smirk against your lips, and he lets his hand squeeze the bottom of your clothed thighs. you giggle against him in response.

"the one and only" you hear michael respond to her question.

you pull away from the kiss, jumping down off of luke, his lips now turn to a frown due to action.

"i don't want to keep you from your work" you inform him. he gives you a small nod. "i won't be long, okay? i promise" he says with a wide smile. "it's okay. do you have your key card? i'll wait in your room?" you ask the blonde.

luke nods as he pulls his wallet out of his suit bottoms. he opens his wallet and takes out the key card, handing it over to you. you thank him before taking the card off him.

"that's such an old picture of me" you point out as you look at the picture of yourself, which was situated in a see-through pocket in luke's wallet.

"it's my favourite picture of you" he coos before leaving a kiss on your forehead as he slowly back away, "i'll be quick" he mouths before sitting back down on the couch, he was sat on before.

you give him a nod before giving the other three boys a wave, "see you later guys" you whisper before making your way out of their room.

you then made your way a few doors down until you reached luke's room. you pressed the card against the keypad and watched it turn green as you reached for the handle, opening up the door.

you drop your shoulder bag near the door before jumping on the already untidy bed. you notice a bulldog plushy on the bed, which reminded you of when you had bought the plushy for luke.

when you gave it to him, you told him whenever he missed petunia to look at the plushy. you picked the plushy up and held it in your arms.

you laid on the bed for well over ten minutes, until you heard a knock at the door.

you dropped the plushy on the bed before you stood up to open the door.

you swing the door open, revealing you fiancé.

he's quick at letting his lips fall onto yours.

"i'm so happy that you're here, love" luke mutters against your lips. you smile against him as your hands reach up to cup his cheeks.

luke picks you up and places you down on the bed as he hovers over you, "let me show you how much i missed you"

thirty minutes had passed, you and luke were laid in his hotel bed, your bodies tangled with the sheets.

"what time do we have to leave?" you ask as your let your fingers play with the curls in his hair.

"rehearsals are at two, so we have an hour" luke mumbles against your neck.

"when did you plan to come out here?" luke asks, letting his head rest on your chest. he looks up at you, awaiting your answer. "just a few days ago, i was planning to come out for the sydney show but something came up" you say.

"what came up?" he asks. "i'll tell you later" you say, hoping luke wouldn't question you further.

the blonde simply nods as he nuzzle himself into you.

"come on, we should start getting dressed" you say. luke shakes his head to the side, "not yet, please," he hums. you give into the boy, as you continue to play with his hair.

the both of you were in silence until you both heard a knock at the, "fuck sake, it's always us" luke complains, earning a giggle from you.

you gently move luke off of you as you slip out of the bed, quickly putting on luke's shirt and your jeans. "i'm coming!" you exclaim as you rush over to the door.

"y/n!" you hear the boys say in unison. "hey guys" you squeal as the three of them pull you into a group hug.

"did we disturb you guys?" ashton chuckled as he glanced over at luke, who had the covers over him, only his head peaking out.

"nope, we were just talking" you say, shrugging your shoulders. "enough about him, how are you guys!" you ask them. you hadn't seen the boys in a long while due to their busy schedules.

after catching up with the boys for a while, it was time to head to the venue for tonight's show.

the boys were called in for rehearsal, and they were currently spending some time with their fans.

you decided to go keep liz, joy and mali company as you waited for luke.

"hey guys" you smile, sitting opposite to the mom's and beside mali.

mali gives you a side hug, "we miss you, babe." she smiles, "i miss you too!" you say as you sway her in your arms.

"honey?" you hear liz say. you nod your head at liz. "you seem different, you seem really happy" she says with a smile on your face.

you return a smile, "thanks mom" you state. "c'mere" she says and so you do. you walk over to her before she pulls you into a soft hug.

"you're pregnant aren't you?" she whispers in your ear.

your eyes shot open at her words. you were so grateful that joy and mali were in a conversation together, meaning they couldn't have heard what liz had just said.

you give her a small nod as you take her hand and place it on your stomach, subtlety.

you seer her eyes filling up with tears as she pulls you in for another hug. she places a kiss to your head. "oh i love you, honey," she cries as she trying to wipe her tears. you rock her in your arms as you giggle, "i love you too mom"

"where's my 'i love you'?" you hear luke say.

you turn your head to the side, looking up at the blonde. "how long have you been stood there for?" you ask, biting your lip nervously. "just now, why?" he laughs awkwardly as he takes a seat beside his mom.

you let out a deep breath of relief, whilst you look over at liz, whose eyes were widened. "where you guys talking about me?" luke frowns as he makes grabby hands towards you.

you giggle at him before shuffling over to him. "no, never" you state before placing a kiss on his nose. "how was rehearsals?" you ask, wanting to change the subject.

"great, as always" luke hums before nuzzling his face into your neck, letting his arms rest around your body.

"i'm tired, though," he hums again. "you'll have a great sleep tonight now that i'm here" you whisper in his ear. "mhm i definitely will"

the boys were an hour into their show, you were watching from the sidelines, cheering and singing along.

you noticed throughout the night, luke stealing lustful glances at you. so in return, you'd give him a wave, a heart shape with your hands, and blowing over a kiss.

once you heard ashton transition the drums to teeth, you felt butterflies in your stomach, knowing exactly what luke would do.

luke had reached up to the second verse, and so he walked over to the side, where you were stood, and sang the beginning of the second verse to you his voice becoming raspy when he dragged 'wife' out of his mouth.

you gave him a wink and blowed him over another kiss. you were praying that a fan had recorded the encounter and would send it over to you.

as the show continued, so did you with your cheering, singing along and screaming.

the show had finally come to an end. you watched as the boys bowed and waved goodbye to the fans. you gave the boys a hug and told them well done as you waited for luke who was finishing of his goodbyes.

you saw him then running up to you, lifting you in his arms. "how was it?" he asked, placing you back down to your feet. "it was so amazing, lu" you smiled as you pushed back the hair that had fallen onto his face.

"thank you, love" he smiles as he places a quick kiss on your lips. "come on, let's celebrate!" he exclaims, grabbing your hand and running to the green room where the boys were stood, already drinking.

"actually, luke, can i speak to you" you say, turning to luke. "right now?" he asks and you nod eagerly.

luke knits his eyebrows together as his hand finds yours again, pulling you into a quiet room.

"what's up" he asks as he leans against a table.

"lu, baby, you remember how i said before something came up and that's why i'm here" you say and he nods, his eyes looking at you confused.

"give me your hand," you instruct, and he obliges. "close your eyes for me," and he does so without question.

you take a small box out of your pocket, a box that you've had for a while now, and place it onto his palm.

"open your eyes lu" you say stepping back, watching his every action.

"what's this?" he asks, again confused. "open it" you smile.

luke takes the small box in both his hands, opening it up, revealing a small guitar pick placed in a slit.

he brings it closer to his face, reading the text on the guitar pick.

"dad" he whispers, his eyes becoming glossy as he looks between you and the guitar pick, "really?" he smiles as he wipes off the fallen tears. you nod your head as you take out the pregnancy test from your pocket. you hand it over to luke as he looks at it in disbelief.

"oh my god" he whispers again, a smile plastered across his lips. he places the box and the stick on the table before letting his hands rest on your waist. he places a kiss on your head before squatting down so he's level with your stomach.

he looks up at you, and you give him a small nod. he lifts the bottom of your shirt up, exposing your lower abdomen. he placed a soft kiss on your stomach before standing tall again.

"we're gonna be parents," luke smiles. "we are" you giggle.

"you're gonna be such an amazing mother" he coos as he cups your cheek. "and you're gonna be an amazing father" you smile as you let him embrace you into a hug.

"how far along are you?" he asks. "five weeks" you giggle, reminiscing back to five weeks ago. "right before i left for tour" luke states, earning a nod from you.

"i love you, baby," he smiles before placing a lingering kiss on you lips. "i love you lu" you say against his lips.

the two of you stand in each others embrace before you both realise that you should head back to the green room. "no champagne for you tonight," luke says, making you giggle.

"hey, can i tell the boys" luke says, grabbing your hand, stopping you from walking into the green room. you give him a nod. "of course you can,"

luke squeal before running into the room, your hand still in his. "i wanna make a toast" luke announces.

everyone gathers around in a circle with a glass of champagne in their hands.

"to five weeks ago!" luke says, raising his glass.

"what was five weeks ago?" you hear everyone mutter in some variation. "oh my god, luke" you giggle

"we have our little baby hemmings on the way!"

a/n: i woke up to my account being deleted, i'm so upset that i've lost everything, but i'm gonna try to rewrite my previous works whilst posting new ones too :(

hope you guys like this!

i lost my requests as well so if you did have any please send them in! ♡

[calumsargwife]

"You Are In Love"

calum hood x fem!reader

summary: the journey of how you and Calum found out you are in love.

warnings: use of cigarettes and mentions of alcohol, a little bit of bad language (if i let something out let me know!)

word count: 4.7k (damn)

note: well this one is completely based on the song from You Are In Love by Taylor Swift. i know it took a while but here it is, it's the longest i've ever written. i don't know if someone's gonna read this since it's so long but since you guys seemed to like the first one i wrote i decided to post this one. i never wrote something like this, so i hope you like it!! (English is not my first language so there may be some grammatical errors, sorry!)

One look, dark room. Meant just for you. Time moved too fast. You play it back. Light-hearted joke. No proof, not much. But you saw enough.

It was one of the many parties that took place at Ashton's house, people gathering for some reason to celebrate. The man honestly loved being the host, always making sure all of his guests were having a good time. The house was in a homely atmosphere (something Ashton always made sure was there), there was a little alcohol involved but nothing too crazy, the music was just the right volume and it was something everyone could dance to. There was good food and probably some fun board game that would make everyone a little more drunk.

It had all started about an hour ago when Calum decided to show up. It was cold, a November night where despite the weeks in advance, you could already feel the Christmas spirit.

Calum would be lying if he said he wasn't nervous. He was going to see you after the last date you two had. Before knocking on the door of the house, he briefly remembered the last outing that you shared, it was incredible.

After so long Calum had finally dared to confess his feelings for you, one of his best friends in the whole world. And you, who was completely surrendered at the boy's feet, said that you felt the same. You two met five years ago and connected instantly, not knowing how or why but it happened and both of you were so happy, you felt that the time you had with each other was never enough to stop being surprised. Being friends first had given the two of them a kind of comfort like no other.

And that's how it was, in the last few weeks you shared several dates and everything was going great, you already knew each other but with all this that was happening, you learned even more things. Everything was getting more serious and Calum was scared, but he liked it.

Once inside the house, Calum took off his coat and scanned the room looking to meet your eyes, and the moment that happened, he gave you a look that was meant only for you. A look that Calum only saved for when he looked at you. A look that made you blush in the best way.

However, Calum quickly found himself being greeted by his friends. You sighed but didn't complain, you repeated in your mind the moment in which your eyes connected and you couldn't help but feel how your breathing stopped slightly because of those eyes that you had learned to love so much in this last few years.

It all ended up being just a quick glance. The night continued and after a while, you ran into Calum (well, he ran into you). He was wearing a black shirt that accentuated his figure perfectly, you would have loved to take him in your arms at that very moment. He knew that, he had worn this shirt because he knew you would like it.

You met about an hour after Calum had arrived, he was having a good time with his friends but at some point he felt that they were holding him back too much from being able to have a chat with you. 'Who am I kidding?' That was the first thing he thought when he saw you again, Calum had been wanting to talk to you all night. You were turning your back on him while looking at the big city from the balcony of the apartment. You had on a beautiful black silk dress, it left your back bare, something that drove Calum crazy.

"Missing me already?" Calum joked after he finally found you alone "I bet you're getting bored without me." He assured in a teasing tone. He approached you and analyzed you, you were wearing a gold necklace and your nails were painted red, you held a glass with some alcohol. His hand gently brushed your arm and you could feel an electrifying touch that woke up every fiber inside you. You love how he makes you feel.

You rolled your eyes playfully at his very confident statement. "I was getting along pretty well without you, actually." You smiled and looked sincerely into his eyes this time. "I missed you." You could see how his eyes were filled with intrigue at what you had said, waiting for a reconfirmation. "I really did."

Calum smiled sweetly and couldn't help but look away from your beautiful eyes for a second to calm down. He really didn't want to blush right now. "Well, I'm glad. I've been thinking about you all night."

It might seem like a simple thing but it really makes you happy to hear that he thought of you the same way you thought of him. You liked knowing you were on his mind.

Small talk, he drives. Coffee at midnight. The light reflects. The chain on your neck. He says, "Look up". And your shoulders brush. No proof, one touch. But you felt enough.

Of course your night didn't end there. Calum proposed that you spend the night at his house and you immediately said yes. The truth is that the time you had spent at the party had not been enough for you two.

You felt a kind of excitement as Calum drove home. You guys weren't talking much in the car, the background music set the mood perfectly and you didn't need anything to talk about either. Small talk was enough to keep you entertained along the way.

Once at Calum's house, you guys set about relaxing. Still formally dressed, you were sitting in the chair that Calum had located on the terrace of his apartment. A perfect place to look at the stars.

Two cups of coffee at midnight, one for you and one for Calum. Drinking coffee gives you the little hope that you could stay up longer just to spend more time together, because it wasn't enough, it was never enough. You two loved to talk, you always had something to talk about and it never got boring. Maybe at some point you didn't have a topic of conversation, but you guys invented something so you could have an excuse to be together. Because it wasn't enough. Calum didn't know how to explain this insatiable feeling of wanting to always be chatting with you, something that really surprised him since he was normally a person who enjoyed silence.

You smiled sweetly at something Calum had said and looked away from him so you could look at your phone for a few seconds to see the time. It was half past twelve at night, already entering the early morning. You smiled to yourself at the feeling of being calm with the boy you liked.

You were wearing a gold chain with a 'C' charm on it, a cheesy and stupid gift Calum had given you for your birthday a couple of years ago. He could appreciate how it shone in the moonlight.

Speaking of the moon, Calum realized that it was at its highest point. He looked at you and spoke to you softly, since you were still looking at your cell phone. He said "Look up" and you immediately looked up from your device. You settled into the chair with the cup of coffee in your hand and you felt how his shoulder lightly brushed against yours.

And that was it. That was enough to know what you felt.

You can hear it in the silence, silence, you.

Calum was fully focused on the moon, leaving you a perfect view of his profile. The place was silent and you could still clearly hear the feeling that you now knew you had. You were afraid of being stunned by this, but actually, the opposite happened, it was all you wanted to hear.

It was so clear, so loud and so strong. You felt a pressure in your chest, that pressure was just letting you know that what you were feeling was actually true. Your insides were full of heartwarming thoughts in just a second, but you loved every single second of it.

The fact that the place was completely silent and that Calum had no idea what you were thinking about added a bit of fun to all this, if only he knew.

You were completely immersed in this new sensation, which was leaving you completely cut off from all the other things that might be going on around you.

You can feel it on the way home, way home, you

You returned home only the next day in the afternoon, the sky was beginning to darken. After a little argument about Calum wanting to take you home and you saying it wasn't necessary, you were finally making your way home on your own. You wanted to get some air and think about what had been revealed to you last night.

As you walked home you could feel the refreshing air in your hair and in your arms. You clung a little more to Calum's sweatshirt.

And that pressure in your chest came back. You've never liked a sensation so much. You couldn't help but smile in love as you looked at the scenery around you. The night was beginning for some.

You loved him. You loved Calum. You love him.

You just couldn't believe it. The idea of falling in love for you was something that was long gone and not something you expected to find again. You especially didn't expect to fall in love with Calum.

But at the same time you were not surprised. Loving Calum was so easy, he was just perfect. You couldn't not love him. He made it look so easy. And you loved loving him, it was something that just filled you up inside and you were so happy that the person you love is Calum.

You continued walking down what would soon be a dark street. Focusing on the sound of your shoes or how the things you found on the way home reminded you of him. Everything reminded you of him.

You can see it with the lights out, lights out. You are in love, true love. You are in love.

Once you got home you closed the front door and leaned your back against it. You sighed while smiling. The whole room was dark, the lights still not on.

In one of the furniture where you had photos with your friends you came to distinguish your favorite photo of the whole house. It was a photo of you and Calum hugging in front of the stage where he and the boys were going to give their show later. There were hours left for the concert and you took advantage of the moment to take pictures. You smiled to yourself remembering.

God, you are in love.

Morning, his place. Burnt toast, Sunday. You keep his shirt. He keeps his word.

It was a Sunday morning at Calum's house. The night before for the two of you had been magical. The two of you hadn't felt this connection with someone in a long time and you knew it.

You were lying on the bed, giving each other lazy kisses on the lips, on the neck, on the cheeks, on the arms, everywhere. Calum wanted to kiss every inch of you.

Calum sighed and moved slightly away from you. "I'm gonna make us breakfast, okay?" He said to then give you one last kiss on the cheek while inhaling your sweet perfume.

"Okay" You replied with a goofy smile as you watched him go to the kitchen.

A little later you stretched one last time and got out of bed too, looking for something to wear. You looked at one of the shirts Calum wears to train, you decided on a navy blue one.

As you walked to the kitchen you remembered what Calum had told you before you guys fell asleep. "I'll be here in the morning." And he kept his word, he was there. You looked at him before entering the kitchen, he was making coffee and toast for the two of you.

"The coffee smells good." You said as you walk into the kitchen. Brushing his arm with your hand when you passed by.

"I hope it tastes just as good as it smells." He answered with a smile without turning to look at you yet, taking another slice of bread to toast.

You chuckled softly, remembering the times Calum had been disappointed in how his own coffee turned out.

At the sound of your laughter Calum turned and looked at you. His heart skipped a beat at the sight of you in his shirt, admiring how well it looked on you. He would be lying if he said he doesn't want that to be his sight every morning. He loved having you in all his everyday things.

"That color suits you." He said admiring you while he wrapped his arms around your waist and left you a kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you." You answered while looking away so that your blush is not so obvious.

Calum chuckled very softly, keeping the smile on his face. He tucked one of the hairs that was on your face behind your ear and that made you turn your head to look at him.

Calum couldn't help but get completely lost in your eyes, it was something that completely mesmerized him and he knew it, he always knew it. From the moment he met you, your eyes were what he liked the most about you.

You were also completely lost by him, admiring the details of his face, seeing how there was a slight beard on his jaw, something that you knew he was going to shave later. You analyzed the small freckles around his nose, they had appeared after spending a day in the sun at the beach with his friends.

Then you raised your eyes to his and they stayed that way, looking at each other. Calum absolutely watching every move you made, admiring everything.

You don't know how long you stayed like that until you could smell the burnt smell of toast and Calum's scared face, who broke away from you in a second and immediately went to see the toaster.

A moment later he turned around and looked at you with a pout. "They burned."

Let out a laugh and you approached to give him a kiss on his pout. "We can make pancakes." You proposed with a sweet smile.

Calum smiled, completely melting at your smile. "We can, but none of those cute little eyes of yours when I'm cooking. I don't want burnt pancakes."

And for once, you let go. Of your fears and your ghosts. One step, not much. But it said enough.

Today was the day. 5 Seconds of Summer would release a new song. One that Calum personally wrote. And to say that the boy was nervous was an understatement.

He was feeling very scared for some reason. He didn't understand why. This song was beautiful and he was very proud of it, it was also an extremely vulnerable song that had taken him months to write, he was afraid of looking too fragile in the public eye and that people might not like it.

To be honest, it's a song he wrote for you, although he doesn't know if you were aware of this. The song talked about what it was like to let someone into your heart again and how scared he was to suffer again and to let go of all those ghosts from the past that haunt him.

God, he was nervous.

The boys had proposed to meet up for the launch, but Calum declined, declaring that this time he'd rather stay at his house with you by his side.

You two were sitting on the terrace of Calum's house. He was smoking a cigarette for the nerves and you were having some vanilla tea (it was your favorite and Calum had bought it especially for you). His leg was bobbing up and down as a sign of his current anxiety. You put your hand on his thigh wanting him to stop and you looked at him with a little tenderness.

"Cal, what's going on? You've been very nervous for the last few hours." My God, Calum hated how well you could read him.

He never talks about this, with anyone. Talking about his feelings is something he struggles with a lot, always in the end transforming what happens to him into songs. But Calum knew that talking about this with you was the right thing to do, knowing that if he wants to be with you then he has to start trusting you with these kinds of things.

"It's just... It's been a while since I wrote something like that, y'know... I know I always write about past experiences but this song is about the two of us and I don't know..." Calum sighed trying to collect his thoughts. "I guess I'm afraid of looking weak in front of everyone, I guess, I don't know..." It made him angry that he couldn't tell you exactly what he was thinking, he didn't know what he was feeling at that moment.

"Calum, the song you wrote is great, it's vulnerable, yes, but that makes it even more meaningful. I think that's going to make people like it more, you know?" You caressed his leg in search of being able to give him comfort.

"I know, I know..." Calum prepared himself for what he was going to say, it seemed to him something very stupid and meaningless but he knew it was necessary. He took another drag on his cigarette and turned so he could look you in the eye. "I think it scares me that once you know how I really feel you're going to run from me." He explained with a slightly shaky voice.

You couldn't help feeling how your heart softened for him. You brought your hand to his cheek and he leaned into it. You felt him visibly relax at your touch. "That's not gonna happen and you know it, right?"

He nodded as he studied your face with those sweet brown eyes of his. Calum didn't tell you but he really felt a weight less on his shoulders. He could feel how he was getting closer and closer to a certain feeling that he had been avoiding for a long time.

"I don't want to write a heartbroken song about you."

You kiss on sidewalks. You fight and you talk.

Calum loved walking with you down the street. Unlike his past relationships, this time he was not afraid to go out with you and show how much he liked you, he is not ashamed and wants to show the world who he's with.

But at the same time he wants to protect you, he doesn't like how public his life can be sometimes. He liked the feeling of his hands rubbing against yours when you are walking down a street with a lot of people, he liked having something just for him and that no one else can take it away from him.

His favorite part is when you're finally on some empty sidewalk and he can finally kiss you freely, he's dying to kiss you anywhere, but he knows that if he wants everything to remain as private as it is now, then he has to take certain precautions.

However, this has brought several discussions in the relationship.

"Why are you so angry?" Calum asked once he closed the door to his apartment, you glared at him a few feet from him.

"It annoys me that every time we walk into a room with the least amount of people, you immediately let go of my hand as if I were some kind of plague!" You knew why Calum was doing it but at the same time you couldn't help but get frustrated. Sometimes you wish Calum wasn't a public figure.

"I don't treat you like you're a plague! I just want to keep things between us!" Calum was frowning and breathing heavily.

"I understand that you want to have your private life but sometimes I feel that you exceed yourself! You don't want anyone to see us at all and it's tiring me!" You felt like a fool wanting to cry about this, but you couldn't help but make your eyes go glassy with anguish.

Calum sighed before answering, thinking about what he was going to tell you. The other day you guys had a fight over the exact same issue before going into a party. "If you know why I do it then why are you angry?!" He yelled at you, feeling how anger began to enter his body.

"Because sometimes it seems like you're ashamed of me!" You angrily yelled at him all your frustrations, trying to make him understand.

"You know that's not how I feel." He stated with a rather serious tone, you've never heard him talk like that.

"I would know how you feel if you would just tell me!" You are not going to deny that you felt a weight less after saying that. Calum always had trouble expressing his feelings but with such crucial things it was important that he tell you.

He clenched his jaw. "Are you always going to reproach me for the same thing? You know it's something I'm working on! It's not easy and yet you keep insisting!" Calum ran his hands through his hair in frustration.

"Of course I'm going to keep insisting if I don't see any change! It's always the same, I have to pressure you to tell me what's wrong with you and I don't want it to be like that anymore." You ran your hand under your eyeliner to wipe away a stubborn tear that had escaped. "I feel that you don't trust me to tell me your things and I don't know what I have to do anymore..." Now your face was covered by tears in a matter of seconds.

Calum completely collapsed seeing you cry. He quickly approached you and took your head in his hands to kiss your hair and then snuggle you against his chest. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, you're right, sorry." He gave you small kisses on the temple in search of giving you comfort. "I'm sorry, you're right."

One night he wakes. Strange look on his face. Pauses, then says. 'You're my best friend'. And you knew what it was. He is in love.

It was another one of the nights where Calum stayed the night at your house. You two were asleep in your bed, snuggled up to each other, him being that natural warmer that he is.

Calum was lying on your chest, you were cuddling lying on your bed. About an hour ago he had fallen asleep after a tiring day in the studio with the boys. You, on the other hand, weren't sleepy, so you stayed on your phone, fooling around on social media.

Suddenly, you felt how he moved over you and how he began to wake up.

Calum moved off of you to lie next to you, he had a weird look on his face, you were trying to figure out what he was thinking.

Then he looked at you. "You're my best friend."

And you knew, you knew what was happening to him. He was in love. In love with you.

"You're my best friend too, Cal." You smiled sweetly at him and he could feel how he melted, your smiles always killed him in the best way. You put your hand on his jaw and brought him in for a sweet, passionate kiss, making sure it was one that would take his breath away.

"You're going to kill me one day." Calum hid his smile against your arm and blushed. You laughed and stroked his curls tenderly.

You can hear it in the silence, silence, you. You can feel it on the way home, way home, you. You can see it with the lights out, lights out. You are in love, true love.

It was days later where Calum was returning from the studio to his house, he was driving and found himself stuck in traffic. Too distracted thinking about you to be bothered by the number of cars.

You guys hadn't seen each other all week due to your respective jobs and he couldn't miss you more. It was night and not having the lights on inside the car made everything dark, his mind was too busy to put on music, so he enjoyed the silence there was.

Not getting you out of his head, he started humming your favorite song. Giving little taps on the steering wheel to the beat of the music.

And that's when it hit him.

"Oh, shit." Calum stopped everything he was doing to focus on what he was thinking.

He couldn't help but think a 'really?'. Hell, he hadn't felt this in a long time.

Unconsciously his heart began to race. His head was going a thousand an hour and the only thing that appeared in his mind was your name.

He couldn't believe what he was feeling. A kind of pressure settled in his chest and he loved it. Calum couldn't help but smile as he ran his hands over his face and tried to hide the smile he had, even though no one was there to see it.

"I love her. I fucking love her." Calum declared as he looked out the window, the car in silence after his confession. He felt himself blushing even though no one had told him anything and how he had an incredible desire to see you.

And for the first time in his entire life, after so many broken hearts and failed relationships, Calum wasn't afraid to love. He didn't feel that irreparable fear that something was going to go wrong, he felt love, true love.

He used to be scared, so, so scared. Fear that leaving another relationship will leave him completely destroyed and without any hope of ever being loved again. Calum always had that feeling that perhaps he was destined to be alone, believing that this had been proven after so many situations in his past.

But everything changed when you arrived. From the first moment your eyes met, he knew that you had come to change his life. You became the light of his life in just a second and that scared him at first. But he didn't care, he thought if he had to have his heart broken for you then so be it. However, now he knew that it would not be like that, you were not going to leave and he knew that you were going to take care of his heart perfectly like no one had ever done before.

Calum was sure you were meant to be together.

Because he was in love.

And he wanted to believe in love for once.

[alisonsfics]

roommate’s best friend part two

pairing: calum hood x ashton’sroommate!reader

summary: after your make out session with calum was interrupted by ashton, you were both very excited to spend more time together at a 5sos gig. (part one)

word count: 2.7k

warnings: unprotected sex, public-ish sex (it’s backstage), tiny praise kink, minors DNI

You were planning to see Calum tonight for the first time after your little make out that was interrupted by Ashton.

You both had planned to have a little date night at Calum’s apartment, where you couldn’t be interrupted by Ashton. Before you could leave, you and Ashton had a plumbing emergency that kept you both at your apartment.

When you called to tell Calum that you couldn’t make it, he practically begged you to let him sneak over just to be with you for a little bit. You knew it would just end with Ashton accidentally seeing something he shouldn’t, and you couldn’t handle that embarrassment again.

Calum and Ashton had both invited you to a gig that the band was having tonight, so you would finally get to see Calum.

You were in the middle of picking out your outfit, obviously wanting to look nice to impress Calum.

“Oh, is somebody getting ready to see her boyfriend tonight?” Ashton teased you from your open doorway. You turned to face him and saw the smirk on his face. “C’mon, Ash, we can’t just be adults?” You pleaded. He chuckled and shook his head. “I caught you hooking up with my best friend. It’s a perfect opportunity for teasing, I can’t waste it.” He told you.

Ashton stepped towards you and held out a lanyard. “Wear this and security will let you in tonight. I’m about to head out, I’ll see you later.” He told you. You took the lanyard from him and said goodbye to him.

A few hours later, you were on your way to the concert, and you had butterflies in your stomach as you thought about seeing Calum.

You had picked out some leather pants and a red lace top that you were hoping Calum would like.

You got to the venue and security let you in quickly after seeing your badge. A security guard led you back to where the guys were hanging out. “They were in the lounge last time I checked, but if they’re not there, I’ll bring you to their dressing rooms.” The security guard told you.

You approached the room and saw a few couches sprawled around the room and a minibar against the wall.

You saw someone sitting on the couch on their phone. You recognized him as Luke from Ashton’s Instagram posts. “Here you go,” the security guard said, gesturing towards the room and then leaving.

“Hi, I’m Luke,” he said, jumping up to greet you. You quickly shook his hand and introduced yourself to him.

“Ashton just ran to the bathroom, he’ll be back soon.” Luke informed you. You nodded your head. “I’m really excited to see the show tonight. I got to go to one of your shows before, and I had a great time.” You told him.

“Oh thank you, yeah tonight should be good.” He agreed. You both heard footsteps and turned to see Calum walk into the room.

His eyes scanned over your outfit slowly, taking it all in. “Hi, there,” he said, softly. You gave him a smile as he walked over to you. “C’mon, Cal, give her a hug.” Luke said, teasing Calum for how stunned and speechless he was.

You giggled at Calum’s flustered expression. “Wait, but how do you—” Calum started to ask Luke.

“You really think Ashton was able to keep you guys and your thing a secret?” Luke said, chuckling.

Luke made sure not to stare so he wouldn’t make you both uncomfortable. “Hi,” you said, softly. He stepped closer to you and wrapped his arms around your waist. “You look beautiful.” He whispered as he pressed a kiss to your temple.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, holding onto him tightly. The scent of his cologne filled your lungs. You both pulled away, not knowing what to say to each other with Luke in the room.

“So, you two met already?” Calum asked, gesturing towards you and Luke. You both nodded. Then, Ashton and Michael walked in the room.

“Hey,” Ashton said, smiling once he saw you. He walked over and gave you a hug. He turned around to gesture towards Michael and introduced the two of you.

You noticed Ashton walking over to Calum, probably to tease him in some way, so you started talking to Luke and Michael. You were telling them about the first show of theirs you had gone to.

You were trying your best to make a good first impression, considering you’d probably be spending a lot more time with them.

You felt Calum’s hand slip around your waist, and he brought his lips to your ear. “Can I get you a drink?” He whispered in your ear, keeping his tight grip on your hip. You nodded your head, “yes please,” you said.

He walked away to get you a drink. Ashton joined your group and was smirking at you. “Don’t you even,” you said, stopping him before he could make a comment.

“I wasn’t going to say anything,” Ashton lied through his teeth. Luke and Michael chuckled at his horrible poker face. “I’m trying to make a nice first impression with your friends, and you just can’t stop yourself.” You said.

“You made a pretty good first impression with Calum,” Michael muttered under his breath, trying not to laugh. You were too stunned to speak. You sat there with your mouth open as the three of them started cracking up. “All three of you now?” You asked.

Calum appeared at your side with two drinks, handing one to you. “Yeah, she did make a pretty good impression, y’know until Ashton ruined it.” Calum said, winking at you.

You slipped your arm around Calum’s back and leaned into him. “You both are pretty cute together actually” Ashton said, making your cheeks heat up.

“Hey guys, you got like five minutes til you need to be on stage.” Someone said, as they walked in the room. You looked over your shoulder and saw someone who looked like their manager.

“C’mon,” Calum said, interlacing your fingers and pulling you behind him. You followed him to the side of the stage. You both set down your drinks and one of the crew members handed Calum his bass.

You gave Calum a kiss on the cheek. “Have a good show,” you told him. He thanked you and gave your hand a quick squeeze. The other three guys started to walk on stage, but Calum stopped.

He held up two fingers and beckoned you closer to him. He quickly cupped your face and kissed you. You were surprised by the kiss, but kissed him back.

“Gotta get my good luck kiss,” he said, before running out on stage.

You got to watch the whole show from the side of stage and had the best time. Calum even looked over at you a few times and winked at you once.

As the show ended, you cheered for the guys, and they took their bow. The guys filed off the stage past you, giving you high-fives as they went by.

Calum came off the stage last with a giant smile on his face. He handed off his bass and then grabbed your hand. He started pulling you down the hallway.

“Calum, where are we going?” You asked him. He didn’t answer your question, but continued pulling you behind him. You both got to his dressing room door and he pushed the door open.

Before you knew it, he had pulled you both inside and closed the door. He pinned you to the back of the door. “You remember when we talked about you fucking that bassist in his dressing room?” He asked you, his mouth almost pressed up to your ear.

You nodded your head. “Yeah, I remember,” you said, breathlessly. Calum’s entire chest was pressed up against you, and you were finding it hard to focus.

“Well that bassist really likes your outfit and got really turned on seeing you on the side of the stage, so if you were still okay with that plan,” he said, practically growling.

“Yes, yes, just touch me, Cal,” you begged him. As soon as the words left your mouth, Calum’s lips were on yours. His lips moved quickly against yours.

He grabbed at the back of your thighs and picked you up against the door. “No one to interrupt us this time,” he said, smirking against your lips.

You raked your fingers through his hair, causing him to groan. He planted his lips on the side of your neck and started slowly sucking on your skin.

You tried to silence the moan that fell from your lips. “Don’t hold back, let me hear you.” He coached you.

He pulled you away from the door and laid you down on the couch. “You look so gorgeous,” he said, in awe as he looked at you.

You pulled him towards you and tugged at the bottom of his shirt. He quickly pulled it over his head and threw it to the side. “C’mere, rockstar, can’t wait,” you said, pulling Calum on top of you. Hearing you call him “rockstar” turned Calum on more than he would ever admit.

His hands slipped under your shirt and traced your sides, caressing your skin. “Help me take it off,” you said, putting your hands up and allowing Calum to pull your shirt up over your head.

“So gorgeous,” he mumbled as he quickly got rid of both of your pants. He grabbed your legs and wrapped them around his waist. You cupped his face and kissed him hard.

Having Calum’s hands on you made you feel like your skin was on fire in the best way. A moan slipped out of you as Calum rocked his hips against yours. “Please, Cal,” you begged.

“Please what, sweetheart?” He asked, placing kisses along your jaw. You groaned, twisting his hair around your fingers.

“Please, fuck me,” you told him.

He pulled down your panties and carelessly threw them to the side. “You know that when Ashton showed us a picture of his roommate, I think I fell in love with you right then, most gorgeous girl I’ve ever seen.” He told you, placing a kiss to your forehead.

“You look so hot on top of me, like this.” You said, as he slipped out of his boxers.

He grabbed your hips with his large hands to steady himself. “You ready?” He asked, meeting your gaze. You nodded your head quickly.

He slowly pushed his length into you. You clawed at his back as you adjusted to his size. He stayed still, buried inside you, for a while. He peppered soft kisses on your shoulder as he waited for you.

“Keep going, I’m okay,” you assured him. With one final kiss on your lips, he pulled himself out and started thrusting into you.

Calum’s eyebrows were furrowed in concentration as his hips hit against yours. You let your eyes roll back as you grabbed at the couch, desperate to find something to hold on to.

“Here,” Calum said, grabbing both your hands and pinning them above your head. You let out a whimper as you felt the strong grip of his hand on your wrists.

“Let me do all the work, just focus on feeling good,” he instructed you. He placed sloppy, wet kisses down your chest, using his free hand to caress your breast.

“So good, Cal. Just like I imagined,” you mumbled, your eyes still shut. You noticed a break in Calum’s rhythm. You opened your eyes and noticed he was just looking at you as he continued to push his hips into yours.

“You were imagining this, baby?” He asked you, curiously. You felt your cheeks heat up in embarrassment, both from the pet name he’d just used and what you had just admitted.

“Don’t be embarrassed, what were you thinking about?” He asked, turned on by the possibility of your fantasies. You hid your face in the crook of his neck. He peppered kisses all around your face, hoping to get you to open up.

It was ironic. His cock was deep inside you, but you could barely bring yourself to meet his gaze.

“I saw pictures you posted from tour, and I thought about what it’d be like to go on tour with you. We’d travel around together, and I’d know all the fans you met were imagining you the way that only I would get to see you. And I thought about what it’d be like to ride you.” You confessed.

A groan fell from Calum’s lips after hearing the words leave your mouth. “That’s really hot, gorgeous.” He told you, moving his grip to your hips.

He reached deeper inside of you and hit your g-spot. “Oh, fuck, Calum,” you moaned.

“Y’know, we could make those fantasies happen if you want. We could at least do that last one tonight.” He told you, making your cheeks heat up even more.

“C’mere, honey,” he said, holding onto you and sitting up so you were straddling him.

He kissed you to make you more comfortable. “I’ll help you,” he mumbled against your lips. He grabbed your hips and lifted you up. You started rolling your hips against his.

“Oh, fuck, baby. You look so good on top of me.” He moaned, throwing his head back. He pushed his hips forward, meeting yours halfway.

Your thrusts started to become more rushed as you got closer to your high. “I’m almost there, Cal,” you mumbled, grabbing his shoulders to steady yourself.

“Me too, baby,” he told you. You both quickened your pace. You arched your back as you started to feel it approaching. You both were breathing heavily.

You were mesmerized watching how quickly Calum’s chest was rising and falling.

“Oh, fuck, Calum,” you called out, as your orgasm hit you. He wasn’t far behind you. “Oh, shit,” he mumbled, his thrusts beginning to falter.

He slowed down his pace, slowly thrusting up into you to help you both come down from your highs.

You collapsed against his chest, resting your head on his shoulder. “That was amazing,” you mumbled against his skin. He chuckled at your exhaustion. “You did amazing, baby,” he said, kissing the side of your neck.

He ran his fingers up and down your back as you caught your breath.

Once you finally got up, you both got dressed again and headed to Ashton’s dressing room, where Calum was told the guys were hanging out.

“Look who finally decided to join us,” Michael said, smirking at Calum as you both entered the room. All three guys were in the room, along with their significant others. Luke handed both you and Calum a drink.

“You both finally sort out that sexual tension?” Ashton asked, causing you to choke on your drink. Your eyes darted to Calum for help.

He leaned in to whisper in your ear, “I may have left you a little present on accident,” referencing the hickey on your neck.

“Calum,” you whined, dragging out his name and trying to cover your neck with your hand. This earned a chuckle from the group.

“C’mere,” he said, pulling you into his chest and wrapping his arms around your shoulders.

“I’m going to have so much fun teasing the two of you,” Ashton said, chuckling to himself.

“Don’t worry, we won’t all be teasing you. Not yet, at least” Luke promised you both. You let out a small giggle. “That felt a lot less comforting than I think it was intended to be.” You replied, earning a laugh from Calum.

He slipped his hand in the back pocket of your pants, keeping you next to him.

“So, Ashton mentioned that you guys were planning to set us up anyway. How was that going to go down?” You asked, curiously.

“Well the girls had to talk down Ashton because he was ready to steal Calum’s phone and send you some raunchy messages, and Calum would have killed him. Michael and I suggested a blind date, but Ashton wasn’t going to settle for that. He suggested that we lock you both in a room together and just wait it out.” Luke explained to you.

“Your great matchmaking plan was to hold us hostage?” Calum asked Ashton, exasperated.

“Oh, come on. Don’t tell me it wouldn’t work, neither of you can keep your hands off each other.” Ashton argued.

“That’s true.” Calum said, smiling down at you.

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[valentiyne]

𝖻𝖺𝖼𝗄 𝗍𝗈 𝖿𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗇𝖽𝗌 ꕥ 𝖺𝗌𝗁𝗍𝗈𝗇 𝗂𝗋𝗐𝗂𝗇

Summary: Inspired by "Back to Friends" by Sombr (Ironic, sorry...)

Warnings: Implications of sexual content, swearing & angst of course!

Word count: 7.6k

Copyright © 2025 Valentiyne. All rights reserved. This original work is not allowed to be reposted on any platform in any format.

THE lights on the set were a little too bright for how early it was.

I stood off to the side of the studio, arms crossed loosely over my chest, trying to look like I belonged there..like I wasn’t holding my breath with every question the interviewer threw at the band.

The boys looked good, comfortable on the cushioned couch, joking with each other and flashing smiles that had probably been trained into muscle memory by now.

Luke sat at the far left, one long leg crossed over the other, and Calum, with a baseball cap tugged low, was already laughing at something Michael had said. Ashton sat closest to the interviewer, his fingers drumming lightly on his knee, a faint shadow of stubble along his jawline.

It had been months since I’d seen him in person like this.

“Let’s talk about the new record, Youngblood,” the host said, shuffling her cards. “It’s been called your most vulnerable album yet. A lot of songs that sound like breakups, heartache, holding onto something that’s already slipping…”

Luke nodded. “It’s definitely more personal. We weren’t trying to write a breakup album. But I think we had to get a lot of stuff off our chests.”

My stomach twisted. I already knew what was coming.

The host turned to Ashton, a glint in her eye. “Ashton, you co-wrote most of the tracks, including ‘Lie to Me’ and ‘Why Won’t You Love Me,’ which fans think are heartbreak anthems. Were those songs about anyone in particular?”

He let out a small laugh, the kind that was meant to disarm. “I think every song’s about someone. But… you know, it’s not always that straightforward.”

The host leaned forward. “So are you single now, or…?”

Ashton blinked, caught off guard for the smallest second before his lips quirked into a half-smile. “It’s… complicated.”

A beat. The silence behind the camera buzzed in my ears.

“Oh?” she pressed, clearly thrilled. “Because this photo has been circulating. Want to tell us a little about this?”

She held up a tablet, the screen turned toward the camera, and toward me.

The image was a candid. Ashton and I in a park, laughing about something, his hand on my cheek, forehead pressed to mine like he was telling me a secret. I remembered that day. It was the last day things felt easy between us. Before the fights. Before the distance. Before the silence.

I didn’t realize I’d moved until I felt my shoulder bump a light stand. I straightened immediately, pretending like I’d only shifted weight, but Ashton saw. His eyes flicked toward me, then back to the screen.

The smile he gave was tight.

“That was a while ago,” he said.

The host grinned. “Still look pretty cozy.”

He didn’t respond, just nodded once, gaze fixed on the coffee table in front of him like it suddenly held every answer he couldn’t say out loud. Calum quickly picked up the awkwardness, deflecting the host by talking about some picture of him that was leaked a few years back.

I slipped out of the studio quietly.

I sat outside the green room, sipping on my burning hot coffee that tasted like cardboard and waiting for the adrenaline to wear off. My phone buzzed in my lap. My bestfriend Alyssa.

Lys: Saw the clip... Yikes girl. You ok?

I stared at the screen but didn’t type anything. What was I supposed to say? That I felt like my ribs had been rearranged hearing him say, “It’s complicated”? That I still hadn’t figured out how to stop missing him when I knew damn well I had no right to?

The door creaked behind me. I didn’t need to look to know it was him. I recognized the soft shuffle of his boots and the way the air seemed to tense just before he spoke.

“You alright?”

I nodded, still staring ahead. My phone gripped tightly in my hand.

He stepped around to face me, and I finally looked up.

Ashton. Taller than I remembered. Or maybe I just felt smaller now. His curls were longer, pushed back beneath a beanie, and his arms crossed loosely over his chest like he was guarding something fragile.

“You didn’t have to come today,” he said quietly.

“I was invited by the label."

He nodded, kicking at the floor with his boot. “You saw the picture?”

I laughed, but it came out more like a scoff. “Kind of hard to miss.”

He sat down on the bench beside me, careful to keep some space. Not too much. Just enough to feel like old ghosts were sitting between us.

“I didn’t know she was gonna do that.”

“I figured.” I sipped my coffee, felt the burn on my tongue.

“You’ve been okay?”

That question. The one people ask when they already know the answer. When they’re hoping you’ll lie so they don’t have to feel worse than they already do.

I set the cup down.

“I’ve been around. And I’ve been mad at you, Ashton.”

His eyes met mine then, sharp and unblinking. “I know.”

“I’m mad because you walked away like I was supposed to just understand. Like what we had wasn’t worth a conversation. Like I didn’t deserve an explanation.”

He took a breath, then another. “You’re right.”

I wasn’t expecting that.

“I didn’t handle it well,” he continued. “The band was changing. Everything felt like it was cracking under me. And I didn’t want to drag you through all of it. But leaving the way I did… I still think about it.”

“You should.”

Silence stretched between us.

He looked down at his hands. “I wrote about you, you know.”

I blinked. “Which one?”

“‘Ghost of You.’” A pause. “And a few others.”

That one hurt. I swallowed hard. I had heard it the exact day the album came out, in a grocery store somewhere in Maine. I dropped my grocery basket and made a beeline to my car before the tears started. I felt sick to my stomach.

“It’s weird,” I said, voice quieter now. “Hearing yourself in a song that millions of people scream every night.”

He gave me a small, sad smile. “I didn’t think anyone would know it was about you.”

I looked at him. “I did.”

I don’t know why I said it.

Maybe it was the heaviness in the air, or the way Ashton was sitting beside me like gravity itself had finally gotten tired of holding us apart. Maybe it was the way his voice cracked when he said he wrote songs about me. Or maybe it was just the truth, clawing its way to the surface after all this time.

“You remember that night?” I asked, not looking at him.

He didn’t ask which one. He didn’t need to.

A muscle twitched in his jaw, and he nodded slowly. “Yeah.”

I blinked hard, trying to focus on anything other than the pounding in my chest. But memory is a cruel thing, it doesn’t ask permission before showing up.

It was a Wednesday. The kind of evening that hung low in the sky, thick with leftover summer heat and the scent of asphalt still drying from a quick storm. I’d stopped by Ashton’s place under the flimsiest of excuses, he’d left a hoodie in my car, and I didn’t want it “cluttering my backseat.”

Really, I just missed him. Missed the way his voice softened when he was tired, the way he made silence feel like it had shape. We hadn’t defined whatever it was we were doing. I wasn’t sure if we were allowed to.

But that night, something was different. His eyes were rimmed in red like he hadn’t slept, and he looked at me like I was the only thing in the world not slipping through his fingers.

“Stay,” he said, his voice hoarse. Just one word.

And I did.

The music playing in the background was low and fuzzy, some lo-fi record spinning on vinyl like it was melting into the walls. We sat on his couch for hours, our knees brushing, words trailing off mid-sentence. I remember the feel of his hand grazing mine as he handed me a glass of water, hesitant at first, then certain. I remember how quiet his apartment felt, like it was holding its breath right alongside us.

And when he kissed me… God, it wasn’t rushed. It wasn’t heat or urgency or recklessness. It was reverent.

He kissed me like he needed to memorize the exact way my lips fit against his, like he already knew he wouldn’t get to do it again.

It was wrong. We were crossing the line of professionalism; I was one of the band's producer for christ sake. But we lost all signs of professionalism, along with my morals.

We didn’t talk much after that. Just let the night pull us under. Shirts came off. Fingers fumbled. But there was nothing clumsy about it. It felt like falling asleep in the middle of a storm, terrifying and safe all at once.

His body was warm, his touch careful. He ran his thumb over my cheekbone as he moved deep inside me, his mouth pressed to my collarbone like a prayer. I remember the way his breath hitched, the way he whispered...

“I love you.”

It was so soft I almost missed it. But I heard it. Clear as anything. The words spilled from his lips like they’d been waiting in his mouth for weeks.

And for a moment, I let myself believe we’d crossed some invisible line. That things would change. That maybe, finally, we were choosing each other. I didn't say it back, afraid that it would change things for good.

But when it was over, when the sweat was drying on our skin and the room had gone still again, Ashton pulled away.

Not gently. Not cruelly. Just… deliberately.

He climbed out of bed like it was on fire. His back was to me as he reached for his jeans on the floor, yanking them up in a practiced motion.

My heart was still fluttering in my chest, stupid and soft.

He ran a hand through his curls and let out a breath like he was about to dive into deep water. “You can’t tell anyone what we did.”

The words landed like a slap.

I sat up slowly, the sheet clinging to my chest. “What?”

He didn’t turn around. He tugged on his shirt. “I’m serious.”

I laughed, sharp, bitter. “Are you kidding?”

“It’s not a good time,” he said, finally facing me. “The album. Press. Management already thinks I’m distracted. If they knew..."

I cut him off, heart thudding in my throat. “If they knew you slept with me? If they knew you cared about someone?”

His eyes flashed with guilt. “It’s not like that.”

“Then what is it, Ashton?” I stood now too, my voice rising with every word. “Because it sure as hell felt like it meant something five minutes ago.”

“It did,” he said, too fast.

“Then why are you acting like I’m a mistake?”

He flinched. “I’m not. I just… I can’t have people knowing right now. Everything is too unstable. I’m trying to protect-"

“Protect who?” I snapped. “Me? Or yourself?”

Silence.

That was the last night I let him hold me.

And the last night I worked for the band. He had asked me not to come to the next couple meetings; He was worried the boys would be able to read our guilty faces. I took it a step further and walk away from the company as a whole.

“You said you loved me,” I said again, the memory leaving a weight in my chest that hadn’t dulled with time. “And then you told me I had to keep it quiet. Like it was shameful.”

Ashton looked up at me, his expression drawn and hollow. “I did love you. I still...” he broke off, swallowing hard. “I thought I was doing the right thing. That if I could just keep you away from all of it...the noise, the chaos...you’d be better off.”

“But you didn’t keep me away,” I said. “You just made me feel disposable.”

His hands curled into fists at his sides, his voice rough. “I never wanted to hurt you.”

“But you did.”

The tears stung before I even felt them fall. “I would’ve stood by you, Ashton. If you’d asked. If you’d just told me the truth. But instead, you made me carry it alone.”

He stepped forward, slow, like he was afraid I’d bolt. “I didn’t know how to choose you without losing everything else.”

I met his eyes, my voice trembling. “That's not fair.. why are you telling me this now?”

“Because I’ve spent the last year writing about you,” he said, voice breaking. “Touring the world with your name buried in every goddamn lyric. And I can’t keep pretending like that’s enough.”

I exhaled shakily, hating how badly I still wanted to reach for him. “So what now?”

He looked down, then up at me with something like hope flickering behind all the hurt. “Maybe we just talk. Maybe we try to be friends again. Or maybe we finally stop lying about what we are."

“I don’t know how to do either of those things.”

“Then let’s figure it out. Together. If you’ll let me.”

I didn’t answer right away.

Because love was never the hard part with Ashton.

It was what came after.

The silence between us lingered like smoke, curling into the air even though neither of us dared speak. Ashton’s words still hung in the space between us: honest, heavy, bleeding. And mine, still burning on my tongue, tasted like regret and something too close to longing.

But I didn’t have time to decide what any of it meant.

Because the door swung open.

“Mate, we’ve been looking for-" Calum’s voice cut off mid-sentence as he stepped into the hallway, Luke just a step behind him. Both of them froze when their eyes landed on me.

Luke blinked like he wasn’t sure I was real. Calum’s eyebrows shot up, and a slow grin spread across his face.

“No way,” Calum said, the corners of his eyes crinkling. “No way. Is that really you?”

I swallowed hard and took a quick step away from Ashton, who immediately straightened like he hadn’t just been standing inches from me with his heart on the floor.

I tried to smile, but it came out uneven. “Hey.”

“Holy shit,” Luke laughed, stepping forward, arms out. “It’s been forever. Y/n... You... look...different. Good. Better than last time we saw you.”

I let him hug me. He smelled like cologne and faint sweat, his embrace warm and familiar in a way that made something in my chest ache. Calum was next, wrapping an arm around my shoulder like it hadn’t been over a year since we last spoke.

Michael stood against the doorway, a bag of chips in one hand as he scrolled on his phone with the other. I didn't expect a welcoming hug from him. After all, Ashton clung to him once we parted ways.

“Didn’t know you were here,” he said, voice warm. “You working with the label again or just visiting?”

My gaze flicked to Ashton before I could stop myself. “Just visiting.”

Calum noticed. His eyes darted between us, subtle, but sharp. He didn’t say anything, just tilted his head slightly like he was clocking the space, the tension.

Luke, blissfully unaware, looked between us all with a grin. “You guys catch up already? Should we give you a minute?”

“No, we’re good,” I said quickly, backing toward the wall, away from Ashton’s reach, away from the truth. “We are done catching up."

Ashton cleared his throat behind me, that guarded look sliding over his face like armor. “They were about to reset the stage, weren’t they?”

“Yeah,” Luke said. “They want us back in the green room to talk over post-show plans.”

Calum gave Ashton one last glance, a quiet flicker of question in his eyes. Ashton ignored it.

“I’ll be right there,” he said.

The boys nodded and started back down the hallway, Luke tossing one last grin over his shoulder at me. “It’s good to see you. Don’t disappear to Maine this time.”

When the door swung shut behind them, the silence returned, sharper now.

I turned my back on Ashton and busied myself with pretending to check my phone. My hands trembled slightly, so I locked the screen just to keep them still.

“You don’t have to pretend,” Ashton said behind me, his voice softer now, like he was afraid of scaring me off.

I didn’t look at him. “I’m not pretending. I’m just trying not to make things harder than they already are.”

He stepped closer, but not too close. Respecting the boundary. Still… his presence always had a weight to it, like gravity itself bent differently around him.

“You pulled away the second they walked in.”

“Because I didn’t want them to see me falling apart,” I snapped, sharper than I intended.

He didn’t flinch. “You’re not falling apart.”

I finally turned to face him, blinking against the sting in my eyes. “Then why does it feel like I’m barely holding on?”

His expression crumpled, just for a moment. Then he nodded.

"Dont you have a show to be preparing for." It came out harsher than I intended, but maybe I was just being irrational and wanted to be alone.

“I’ll give you space,” he said calmly, turning to walk away.

I waited until he was a far enough distance before finally saying the words I buried for months.

“How can you just go back to being friends with me?”

I wasn’t even sure he’d hear me. But he stopped, his boots stopped thudding down the hallway.

Ashton froze. His shoulders tensed beneath the soft fabric of his flannel, and for a second, he just stood there, back turned, like he was deciding whether to keep walking or come back.

He turned slowly, his expression unreadable.

“We slept together, Ashton.” I said loudly, my voice almost echoing.

He flinches, looking around embarrassed. The words sliced through the stillness like a blade.

He blinked, once, as if trying to process the way my voice shook. Like he wasn’t expecting me to say it out loud. Maybe he thought I’d keep pretending with him, keep tiptoeing around the past we never really buried.

“We slept together,” I repeated, quieter now. “You told me you loved me. And now you want to talk like none of it happened?”

He looked wrecked. Not in a loud or obvious way, but in that quiet, soul-deep kind of grief. The kind people carry when they know they did the thing they swore they never would.

His lips parted, ready to answer, something, anything...but the moment shattered.

“Yo, Ash!” Luke’s voice called down the hallway, upbeat and completely unaware. “They need us back for post-roll. You comin’?”

Ashton’s head dropped just slightly. Like he didn’t want to turn away from me. But he also didn’t know how to stay.

His eyes met mine, and for a heartbeat, everything in them was wide open. Regret. Longing. Fear. The echo of every version of us that could’ve been.

Then the wall went back up.

He took a slow step back toward the direction of the stage, toward the voices calling his name.

“I’ll call you,” he said softly, almost like a promise.

I stayed behind, still trying to catch my breath, wishing it didn’t feel like I was drowning in everything I didn’t say.

Later that night, I lie on my bed in the dim glow of my bedside lamp, staring blankly at the ceiling. Shadows play along the plaster, and every quiet hum of the city outside echoes like memories of what once was.

My mind drifts, unbidden, back to a night in the studio a year before, when Youngblood was nothing more than a dream taking shape in the boys' whispered ideas. Before Ashton and I slept together.

The air in the studio was thick with creative energy and the scent of coffee that barely masked the underlying buzz of fretless guitars and beat-up drumkits. I still remember how the soft hum of amplifiers and the clatter of instruments mingled with our laughter...raw and unguarded. Ashton and the boys had gathered in that familiar space, each of us desperate to carve out something real in the chaos of sounds and scattered ideas.

I sat on an old, battered couch that creaked under every shift of my weight, when Ashton and I ended up side by side. Our legs tangled together without us even noticing at first, a fleeting, gentle contact that felt like an apology, or perhaps a confession, of what was unspoken between us. In that moment, our barrier cracked.

Ashton leaned closer, his voice soft despite the hum of the mixing desk behind us. “What if we…” he began, a lopsided smile tugging at the corners of his lips, his eyes bright with something like hope and fear combined. We’d been bouncing ideas off each other all night, weaving lyrics that hovered between heartbreak and redemption. Every word felt laced with meaning, our very souls pressed into the shared creation.

I could still feel the warmth of his skin against mine, the subtle brush of his hand near my knee as we scribbled down lyric ideas on a notepad. We sat so intimately that it felt as if the entire world had slowed down, leaving just the two of us cocooned in our creative bubble. Our whispered suggestions and half-finished verses spilled out in a conspiratorial murmur, blending with the distant howls of guitars strumming in tune with our hearts.

But creativity, like love, has its moments of fragility. Before long, the energy in the room shifted. The rest of the band: Luke, Calum, and Michael, were growing restless. Frustration began to tinge their words as they circled back to discuss redoing a riff or tossing around changes that clashed with our mood. Voices were raised, and the tight focus of that intimate session splintered into a disjointed discord of opinion and irritation. There were pizza boxes or half eaten chinese takeout cartons sprawled across the studio, almost reminding me of them when they first started music. A twang of nostalgia shook my bones.

I looked toward Ashton, expecting him to mirror my quiet desperation for a break. And then, almost impulsively, I stood. “I’ll get us some snacks,” I declared, half-laughing at the absurdity of it all, a bout of rebellion against the chaos. “Maybe a little break will help clear our heads.”

Before I knew it, Calum was at my side. “I’m coming with you,” he said immediately, his tone laced with a warmth that reminded me of simpler times, back when being together wasn’t a secret or a puzzle. We left the studio, stepping into the cool night that felt like a balm, like quiet understanding after an exhausting argument.

Outside, under the buzzing fluorescent of a vending machine, Calum and I found a brief reprieve. The machine whirred as it dispensed a packet of chips, the sound oddly soothing against the residual echoes of the studio.

The fluorescent lights of the hallway buzzed faintly overhead, humming like static against the soft rhythm of my sneakers on the scuffed linoleum floor. Calum walked beside me, the hem of his hoodie clutched in one hand, the other buried in his pocket, shoulders slightly hunched in that way he always did when things inside the studio got too tense.

We didn’t say anything at first.

The vending machine buzzed to life as I fed in a crumpled dollar. I pressed a button for chips, something salty and safe. The silence between us settled thickly until Calum finally broke it.

“So,” he said casually, watching the bag drop. “You and Ash. What are you guys?”

I paused, hand still inside the vending slot, fingers curling around the foil packet. “What do you mean?”

"Don't do that.. You know what I mean.”

I glanced away, peeling the bag open, letting the scent of fake cheddar distract me. “We’re friends.”

“Right,” he said, dragging the word out with a tone dipped in disbelief.

I shoved a chip in my mouth. “We are.”

Calum leaned back against the opposite wall, arms crossed over his chest. His voice was softer this time. “Friends don’t look at each other like that.”

I swallowed hard, the crunch of the chip suddenly loud in my ears.

He didn’t stop. “Friends don’t sleep in each other’s beds after long sessions. Or disappear for hours at a time. Or walk around with that look on their face like they’ve got something sacred no one else is allowed to touch.”

I let out a breathy laugh, but it came out thin and strained. “You’re being dramatic.”

He didn’t laugh with me.

“You’re lying to yourself,” he said, voice low and careful, not judgmental, not cruel. Just… honest.

I turned my back to him, suddenly fascinated with the vending machine’s warped glass. “There’s nothing to talk about.”

“You sure about that?” he asked quietly.

Before I could answer, something caught my eye. My reflection overlapped with the view behind the glass, and there, through the wide window into the studio, was Ashton.

He was staring at us.

One hand rested against the neck of Luke's guitar, the other holding a pen loosely by his side. His head was tilted just slightly, eyes fixed on me and Calum like he hadn’t even noticed the boys talking around him. Like he’d forgotten the whole damn world.

The second our eyes met, he blinked and looked away, too fast. Like he’d been caught in a moment he hadn’t meant to be in.

I felt my stomach flip.

Calum followed my gaze, and something unreadable passed over his face. He didn’t say anything else. Just pushed himself off the wall and grabbed a granola bar from the machine, quiet again.

We didn’t speak as we walked back to the studio.

But I carried the weight of that look Ashton gave me all the way to the door.

The hum of my bedroom was all static and silence.

I’d been lying on top of my covers for over an hour, the overhead light off, the bedside lamp dimmed to a warm flicker. Outside, the city buzzed faintly through the cracked window, a distant rhythm that felt detached from everything inside me.

And then… it buzzed.

My phone, where it sat face down on my chest, lit up with a name I’d told myself I wouldn’t wait for.

Ashton xx

My breath caught and I fumbled around my sheets, trying to break my hand free.

I stared at the glowing screen like it was a question I didn’t know how to answer. The phone vibrated gently against my sternum, pulsing with every ring, and I counted to four before picking it up. Not because I needed the time to decide.

But because I didn’t want to seem too eager.

“Hello?” I answered, careful to keep my tone flat, casual. Like I wasn’t replaying every word we’d said earlier in the hallway. Like I hadn’t just been staring at the ceiling reliving that night in the studio with Calum. With him.

Ashton’s voice came through soft, a little hesitant. “Hey.”

I could hear the rustle of movement in the background, like he was walking somewhere, maybe pacing, maybe outside.

“I hope it’s not too late,” he added quickly. “I just got out of a meeting and- Look I just… wanted to talk.” I glance at the clock that I just so happen lost track of, and notice it was ten after midnight.

“It’s fine,” I said, shifting slightly on the bed, letting my voice dip into something nonchalant. “I wasn’t really doing anything.”

A beat of silence.

“Were you gonna call if I didn’t?” I asked, one eyebrow quirking like he could see me through the line. I meant it as a tease, but there was a sharpness under it I couldn’t quite dull.

He hesitated. “Yeah. I told you I would.”

“You tell me a lot of things.”

That landed heavier than I intended.

On the other end of the line, Ashton went quiet again. Not defensive. Just… still.

“I’m not trying to mess with your head,” he said eventually. “I know I’ve done enough of that already.”

“You’re not,” I said softly. “I just… don’t know what this is. Or what it’s supposed to be.”

“Neither do I,” he admitted. “But it doesn’t feel like it should be nothing.”

I looked up at the ceiling again, phone pressed to my ear, fingers curled into my blanket. The memory of his stare through the studio window still lingered like a fingerprint on glass.

“I’ve tried so hard to pretend it didn’t matter,” I whispered.

“I know,” he said. “Me too.”

We were both quiet again, breathing into the same fragile space.

Ashton exhales into the receiver. “I’d rather… I’d rather do this in person.”

There’s a pause. A long one.

“I mean, we’re talking now,” I say, pretending to keep it casual. “Might as well rip the Band-Aid off, right?”

“No,” he says, and it’s not unkind, it’s just quiet. Final. “Not like this.

I hesitate, biting my lip. “Okay, then… when?”

He’s silent again for a beat too long, and then his voice comes, careful. “I’ve got that interview with Zach Sang tomorrow. And then there’s the radio taping Wednesday. Thursday we’re flying out to New York for Fallon, and...”

I laugh softly, shaking my head. “Ash. You don’t have time.”

He tries to cut in, but I keep going. “It’s fine. We don’t have to meet in person. I get it. Life goes on. You’re busy, and this, whatever this is, doesn’t fit neatly into a schedule.”

His voice slices through mine, sudden and sharp. “Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Make this smaller than it is.” His breath catches like he’s holding something back, something too heavy to say all at once. “I owe you more than that.”

My heart squeezes.

I swallow thickly. “You don’t owe me anything, Ashton.”

“I do,” he says, softer now, like it hurts him to say it. “You let me into your world when I didn’t even know who the hell I was. You stood by me while I burned everything down and pretended I was fine. You gave a shit when I didn’t. And then I pushed you out. I can’t make that right over the phone.”

There’s something so raw in his voice I have to close my eyes.

“I want to look you in the eye when I explain,” he adds.

I exhale, long and slow. “Then when? Because every day you just listed is full.”

There’s a beat of silence.

Then his voice, low, careful, asks, “Would you come to a show?”

I blink, caught off guard. “What?”

“The first date of the tour. We’re in L.A. next Friday. You could come early, hang out backstage. After the show, we could talk. I’ll make sure no one else is around.”

I hesitate. My mouth opens, but I don’t know what I’m trying to say. The thought of standing in that crowd, watching him on stage again, feels like opening a wound I’ve worked hard to pretend doesn’t exist anymore.

“I don’t know if I’m ready to see that.. Especially debuting the album that's supposedly written all about me,” I whisper.

There’s a pause.

And then he says it, quiet, breathless, like a prayer.

“Please.”

That one word carries everything. All the apologies he hasn’t said. All the weight he’s been carrying. All the nights we never talk about.

My throat tightens.

And even though every part of me is screaming that this could hurt all over again, something softer inside me whispers back.

“Okay.”

The concrete under my feet is cold, even through my boots.

I stand just behind the heavy black curtain, out of view, flanked by techs and crew members adjusting cables and mics and lighting cues like it’s any other night. But it isn’t.

The crowd beyond the curtain is electric.

A sea of voices echo in the stadium, the kind that vibrate in your bones even from backstage. The kind that makes your pulse quicken even when you’re not the one performing. The sound builds in waves: cheering, screaming, chanting, all for them. For him.

I can hear Luke’s low laugh. The clink of a beer bottle. Calum shouting something about his amp. Michael’s voice in response, teasing and loud. The boys are warming up, loose, wild energy spinning between them. It feels like they’ve done this a thousand times, and maybe they have. But to me, right now, it feels like standing on the edge of something I’m not sure I’m ready to fall into again.

I run my palms down my thighs, wiping off the nervous sweat, then clutch the fabric of my jacket tight in my fists. My heart is knocking against my ribs like it’s trying to escape.

Then the lights cut.

The stage goes black and the crowd erupts.

Their names boom over the speakers, and suddenly the boys are running past me, silhouettes lit by strobes, instruments in hand and grins plastered to their faces. Luke throws a fist in the air. Michael’s already waving to the crowd. Calum flips his pick and catches it midair like muscle memory. Ashton is the last to pass, and for a brief second, our eyes meet in the dark.

Just one look.

But it roots me to the floor.

He disappears onto the stage, swallowed by the roar of a crowd that’s already in love with them.

The lights explode into color. Music crashes into life.

They open with an older track, one the fans scream every word to, their voices rising above the speakers. I step closer to the curtain, peeking through the gap. The boys are lit up in gold and white and deep purple, the kind of lighting that makes them look bigger than life. Calum’s bass thrums in my chest. Luke’s voice is rich and effortless, slicing through the stadium. Michael spins toward the mic with a smirk, tossing out a line that makes the entire crowd scream louder.

And Ashton. God.

Ashton is behind the kit, head thrown back, arms sharp and fluid, completely in his element. His hair’s wild, curls clinging to his forehead, sweat already gleaming on his skin. Every movement is controlled chaos. A storm with a rhythm.

They play two more songs before the lights dim again.

Luke steps forward, catching his breath as the audience quiets enough for him to speak.

“Alright,” he says into the mic, grinning. “We’ve got something special for you tonight.”

The crowd screams.

“We’ve been working on this new album for a while now,” he continues. “It’s different. It’s raw. Probably the most honest thing we’ve ever done.”

Calum nods beside him, his smile crooked. “It nearly killed us, but we made it out alive.”

The crowd laughs, shouts, claps.

Luke turns slightly, looking toward Ashton as if silently inviting him forward. Ashton rises from behind the drums, slinging a mic from its stand and stepping up to the front.

My breath catches.

His voice comes low and steady through the mic. “This album… it’s about change. About the people who pull you apart and the ones who quietly put you back together when no one else is looking."

The crowd stills a little. Leaning in.

Ashton’s gaze drifts out across the stadium, but I know he’s not really looking at them. His fingers wrap tightly around the mic.

“It’s about mistakes. Regret. Forgiveness. Second chances.”

He pauses, eyes scanning the crowd, and for the briefest second, they land backstage.

I freeze.

“It’s about someone who meant more to me than I ever really knew how to say,” he continues, his voice softer now. “Until I nearly lost them.”

The crowd is hushed now, the weight of his words pressing through the silence.

“I wrote these songs because I didn’t know how else to say it. So if you’re here tonight...." his voice pauses slightly, but he swallows it down- "this one’s for you.”

The screams return. Louder than ever. But all I can hear is the echo of his voice.

And that word: you.

It hits my chest like a stone in water. Rippling.

The show ends in a flood of noise.

The lights dim with a slow fade, the final notes of the last song still ringing in the air as thousands of voices echo one last cheer into the arena. The kind of sound you feel in your spine. The kind of sound that once made me proud, and now just makes me ache.

Backstage is chaos again. Crew members scramble to tear down equipment, sweaty towels are tossed over shoulders, water bottles are passed around like currency. Everyone’s moving in different directions, hugging, shouting, laughing. High-fives and adrenaline fill the air.

And I’m still standing in the same spot, half-hidden behind a curtain, heart in my throat.

I feel him before I see him.

That warm, unspoken presence like the sun after a long, cold morning.

Walking toward me, his curls damp and stuck to his forehead, his chest rising and falling like he hasn’t quite come down from the high. His black jeans hang low on his hips, and his shirt is gone, tossed somewhere along the way, leaving his skin flushed and glistening under the dim hallway light. A towel is draped around the back of his neck, forgotten.

And God. I hadn’t seen him like this in so long.

That version of him. The one that glowed under stage lights. That burned from the inside out.

My eyes drop to the floor for a second, cheeks flushing hot. I suddenly feel sixteen again, like I’ve wandered into something I shouldn’t be allowed to witness.

He slows when he sees me, something softer taking over the adrenaline in his expression. Nervous now. Or maybe shy.

We just stare at each other for a second, the space between us filled with the ghosts of every unsaid thing.

“You stayed,” he says, voice low and a little breathless.

I nod. “I said I would.”

He smiles faintly, stepping closer. Close enough that I can see the way his fingers twitch slightly at his sides, like he doesn’t know if he’s allowed to touch me.

“I didn’t know if you’d make it to the end,” he admits.

I shrug, trying to stay casual, but my voice is soft. “I almost didn’t.”

His smile fades just a little. “Was it too much?”

“No.” I shake my head. “It was… a lot. But not too much.”

He exhales, the tension in his shoulders loosening a little.

“Can I just say,” he adds, wiping a bit of sweat from his temple with the towel, “you look good. Different, but… good.”

I laugh quietly, looking down at my hands. “You’re one to talk. You’re....” I gesture vaguely toward his bare chest, cheeks burning hotter. “You’re kind of… half-naked.”

He grins, finally catching on, and yanks the towel off his neck, swiping it over his chest and shoulders. “Right. Sorry. Force of habit. The shirt kind of… disappears after the second song.”

“You never used to do that,” I tease, glancing up through my lashes.

He shrugs with a sheepish smile. “Guess I didn’t have as much to prove back then.”

I look at him for a long second. “You don’t have anything to prove now.”

His expression softens again, and the air shifts. Slows. The noise around us fades to a low hum, distant.

“I meant what I said,” he tells me quietly. “About the album. About you.”

I nod slowly, throat tight. “I know.”

“I didn’t write it to get you back. I wrote it because I didn’t know how else to carry it anymore.”

We’re quiet again. Not awkward. Just… suspended in something fragile.

His voice is quieter now. “Do you wanna come with me? Just for a bit. Somewhere we can actually talk?”

I hesitate.

Not because I don’t want to.

But because I don’t know what talking might do to me tonight.

Still, I find myself nodding.

“Yeah,” I whisper. “Okay.”

And as Ashton leads me through the backstage hallway, hand barely brushing mine like he’s afraid of asking too much too soon, I realize something.

He didn't tell the boys I was coming.

The dressing room is small and dimly lit , just a single bulb above the mirror and the muted glow of streetlights filtering in through the window slats. The hum of the city beyond the arena is a dull ache against the silence inside, like the world knows to stay quiet for us tonight.

I sit on the edge of the couch, elbows on my knees, fingers twisting the hem of my sleeve.

Ashton paces the room for a few moments, still wound up, still caught somewhere between the stage and here. His chest rises and falls with leftover adrenaline, his curls sticking to the back of his neck, the towel now forgotten on the floor.

Finally, he sinks onto the couch beside me, body warm and buzzing with life. Neither of us speak right away.

Then I notice his hands.

Red. Raw. Split open just at the curve of his knuckles , the brutal, familiar aftermath of playing too hard. Of giving too much of himself to the drums. To the crowd. To the songs that bled out of him.

“You’re bleeding,” I murmur, barely above a whisper.

He looks down at his hands, almost like he hadn’t realized. “Yeah. Happens sometimes when I forget how to hold back.”

I reach for him before I can think twice, my fingers brushing over his, careful. Gentle. There’s a faint tremble beneath his skin, not from pain, but from me. From this.

He watches me as I graze a thumb over his palm. There’s something unspoken caught in his throat. His eyes, tired and open, hold that familiar storm I’ve seen before, but now it’s quieted. Honest.

“I don’t want this to go away again,” he says suddenly.

My hand stills in his.

He swallows. “Whatever this is between us… I can’t lose it again. I’ve tried pretending it didn’t matter. I’ve tried burying it in songs and cities and shows, and it doesn’t work. You leave holes in my heart when you’re gone.”

The words hang there between us: raw and vulnerable and unpolished.

“I don’t know what I am to you,” he continues, his voice cracking. “A mistake. A memory. A ghost. But I know what you are to me. You’re the part I never got over. The one that still shows up in every verse I write. And I don’t want to write around you anymore.”

I don’t speak.

I just slide my hand fully into his, fingers threading between the torn skin and callouses and everything he’s carried alone for too long.

And I squeeze.

He breathes out like he’s been holding it for months.

“I don’t know what this is either,” I whisper finally. “But I’m tired of pretending it didn’t happen. And I’m tired of wondering if you still think about me.”

He lifts my hand and presses it to his lips, eyes closed.

“I never stopped.”

We sit like that for a long time. The sound of the city humming through the window. His heartbeat steady under my palm. My thumb gently tracing the edges of his broken skin.

[heartbreakgrill]

how you get the girl: calum hood.

1989 (Heartbreak Grill’s Version)

stand there like a ghost, shaking from the rain. she’ll open up the door and say, ‘are you insane?’

“there’s someone here for you!”

i looked up from my computer screen, eyes trailing across the rainy window, pattering softly from the droplets that drenched the glass. my roommate passed my room, lazily shouting the sentence through the open door.

i furrowed my brows. i wasn’t expecting anybody, and i didn’t have any packages that were getting delivered- at least, not until tomorrow.

“who is it?” i shouted down the hall, towards the living room, as i stepped from my room.

“don’t know. some boy,” she replied. the television unpaused and a laughter track interrupted any further conversation we could have.

i turned back towards the front door. a blurry shadow was illuminated through the frosted panes of the door. it was a tall man. part of me worried that this was the moment at the beginning of a horror movie, when girls like me always died.

part of me worried it was someone worse.

i latched a hand around the door knob, cowering in on myself as the brisk wind gushed through the foyer of the apartment. goosebumps nibbled at my skin. i shivered. my hair wafted over my shoulders.

and my eyes focused on the figure looming over my doorstep, their black clothing dripping with water, hair soaked to the scalp.

my jaw slackened, my eyes widened. “what the fuck are you doing here?”

calum let out a heavy sigh, as though he’d been holding his breath since the last time we spoke. my eyes drug over his stormy demeanor, images flashing through my mind of a time i tried so hard not to remember.

“calum,” i insisted, “what are you doing here? what- don’t you have tour? shouldn’t you be in- in mexico right now?”

“i had to see you,” he rushed out.

rain splashed on my bare feet, against the exposed skin on my arms, as the sky continued pouring. i flinched at the cold droplets.

“what…” i couldn’t put together many words right now, but i knew, “you need to come in, you’re gonna get sick!”

i stepped aside, ushering him into the foyer. the carpet dampened under his converse and a puddle started forming on the hardwood. calum shook his hair out, spraying water across my shirt like a dog fresh out of a bath.

i huffed, “um…let me get- a towel. hang on. stay,” i gestured to him like he really was an animal.

he chuckled shortly.

say it’s been a long six months and you were too afraid to tell her what you want.

i ushered calum into my room, shoving a towel into his hands. i lay another one across the floor to clean up his mess. he shed his converse, his jacket, tossing it into my hamper.

“you still have my zeppelin shirt,” he stated, memory clear as a day.

“is that what you came here for?” i crossed my arms, a little defensive at his somewhat rude accusation.

calum dried his curls out with the towel. he chuckled again at my words. “no…i-“ he ran the towel over his face, then pointed at his body, “i’m soaked. you have my shirt.”

“oh!” i straightened up, red in the face at my lack of understanding. “yeah…i…”

i ashamedly dug through my pajama drawer, pulling out the top-big t-shirt that i resisted the urge to wear to sleep sometimes. i turned my body away from calum as he began to take off his shirt, with no warning. but, i could him in the mirror.

my eyes trailed over his body, as sure as my fingertips remember it.

say it’s been a long six months, and you were too afraid to tell her what you want.

calum spoke my name, a sound so sweet, so sacred, that my body wracked with anticipation, with a drawing want for what we had.

i looked back at him, arms uncrossing themselves. “why are you here, calum?” my tone had dropped, a saddened furrow pulling my brows together. “it’s been…six months.”

“i know,” calum stepped towards me, hands shaking before him. he lay them out like a truce. i wanted to grab them, to hit them yet hold them. to curse them and worship their fingertips.

i pressed my own fingers to my forehead, cooling the heat that sprouted there. “what- just please, say something! i don’t hear from you for six months and you just…show up, out of the blue? what’s going on?”

calum fidgeted with the ring on his finger, rolled his lips together. they were nervous habits i’d picked up on in the short time we’d spent together.

flickering memories i’d never seemed to be able to forget.

“i’m sorry,” calum shook his head, as if rejecting his own actions. “im sorry for leaving. im sorry for not saying goodbye. im sorry for…for not telling you…”

and that’s how it works, that’s how you get the girl.

“telling me what?” i could feel frustrated, angry tears welling up in my eyes. i was just so…how could he do this?

how could he come into my life, unexpectedly, make me feel things i’d never known before, then shut the door on a chapter that had gone unfinished?

then, pick back up the book after six months, as though he could just finish me off whenever he so pleased?

“telling me what, calum?” i pressed, taking a step closer.

“telling you that i love you,” he nearly whispered it, as though he was scared of the confession, as though it would shift the entire world.

i blinked.

calum stared back at me, the hood in his eyes flooding over with confusion as the silence lingered on. “i…” he tried to find some new words, tried to fill the blanks, “i love you, y/n. i’ve loved you since i saw you at the bar that night. i- i haven’t been able to forget you, and i-“

“get out.”

calum’s words stalled. his lips sat parted, the unfinished sentences lingering on the tip of his tongue. he ran it over his lips, “what?”

i crossed my arms again, tightening the clutches, as if to hold myself together, to hold myself strong. i wasn’t going to give into this.

“get out. go. leave. go back to mexico and go play your stupid little concert,” my voice was low because i was afraid that if i spoke any louder, i would crack. i’d cry.

i’d tell him that i love him too.

but i just couldn’t.

“what-?” calum went to defend himself, to try to explain the situation.

but, i was shoving his shoulder. i was gathering his shoes, tossing his coat at him, opening the front door. he battled me, weakly, sputtering out useless words, twisting around to face me, though i kept pushing.

“leave me alone.”

remind her how it used to be with pictures in frames of kisses on cheeks.

i locked the door. calum’s shadow lingered on the porch, blackened against the light. i reached a finger up towards the button and shut the porch light off. i heard calum groan.

the tears fell down my cheeks.

i had spent the last six months getting over him.

i had spent hours in therapy, wondering why he had never picked me in the first place, why he had abandoned me like an unwanted path of his life.

i had grieved a relationship that never even got to exist, i had gotten over somebody who i never even had in the first place. i had rebuilt myself, i had redownloaded the dating apps. i was starting over.

i was moving on.

and now he was here and i felt like that naive girl from six months ago.

i went back to my desk. i crossed my legs, balanced my chin on my fist, and stared at my computer screen, blankly. my mind spurred with unwanted thoughts, my heart palpitating with emotions i had been used to not feeling for so long.

i typed out a few words for my essay, hoping it would stimulate the academic side of my brain. maybe if i focused on something else, i could pretend like tonight never even happened.

i continued on my assignment, until i reached a pass. there was a section of the reading that referenced another book. i needed to get it from my closet.

of course, while i was reaching for the textbook, a box, tucked far into the corner of my closet- the corner of my mind- came toppling down onto my head. i helped at the impact, rubbing the minor injury as i reached down for the shoebox.

my brows furrowed at the sight. when it rained, it poured.

i slowly lowered myself to my knees, shaking hands reaching out for the spilled contents of the box. pictures, ticket stubs, receipts, dry flower petals, a pop can tab, candy wrappers, a ring, and a thing of red lipstick.

calum and i, at the state fair, riding the carousel like we were just kids. kissing when we hit the top, and we could see the entire town. us at the diner, two straws for one milkshake, a plate of fries, and a song on the jukebox that we’d dance to every night he stayed over. in the recording studio, on the couch, sprawled out like old friends, listening to ash and luke argue over a single beat of a song, and discovering a pair of lyrics calum had written about me.

concerts, comedy shows, basketball tournaments, high school football games, recitals we had been to.

a print out of a plane ticket to australia for next month, now refunded in my bank account. a promise for a visit that would never come to fruition.

red roses for my birthday, red roses for my grade of an a in a hard class, red roses for a friday night dinner, red roses for a late night visit. red lipstick i’d wear when we went out, just to leave vibrant, still, stuck lip prints on his cheek.

tell her how you must have lost your mind when you left her all alone and never told her why. that’s how you lost the girl.

i gathered the items back into the box with hands that would not stop shaking. it took longer than it should have because i ruminated on every detail. i held every photo like a piece of glass, examining its contents like i could renter the moment and fix things before they broke.

i set the box on my bed, gently sitting down beside it. i didn’t know where to go, what to do. i needed to work things out, i needed to find an answer.

because i loved him, too.

i found myself reaching for my phone, dialing his number. i found myself under an umbrella, headed towards that old diner.

“thanks for meeting me.”

i wrapped my frozen fingers around the steaming cup of coffee, grateful for the radiating warmth. the air conditioning was still sputtering above us and i shivered.

“y-yeah,” i barely nodded, still unsure of what to say.

calum took a sip of his own coffee. he gulped. he licked his lips. he prodded at the ketchup bottle on our table with a stray straw. his eyes trailed over to the colorful machine on the table. “they raised the price of the jukebox.”

i followed his gaze. so they had. it used to be 50¢ per song. now it was $1.00.

“hm,” i remarked, staring at the dollar sign. “strange.”

“you didn’t know?” calum inquired, looking to me with a raised brow.

i shrugged, “i haven’t been here since…”

“july,” he filled in my gap. “it’s been…since july.”

“ah,” i nodded once. “seems like forever ago.”

“i know.”

a thick pass of silence sat stale in the air.

i nursed a few sips of my coffee. if he wanted, then he should talk. i would not be the one figuring this out. i would not beg him to make up for the loss he’d made me grieve.

eventually, he whispered, “i had to go.”

i flicked my eyes up to his before pulling them back down to the table. he dropped his head, chin against his chest, defeated. “i’m sorry. i’ll say it a million times- i’m sorry. i had to go. we- we decided last minute to announce the tour. there was a lot of bullshit we had to handle before starting it. and i, i don’t know…i didn’t want you to get caught up in the drama of it all. i didn’t want the world to get its hands on you…”

“so, you ghost me? you leave with no letter, no text, nothing?” i blinked back a tear. “wow…my knight in shining armor. thanks, calum.”

he huffed at himself, “no…i- listen, please-“

“no,” i denied him, “no, you listen, okay? i devoted myself to you for six months. i centered my whole life on you. i fell in love with you and i- gave you everything. because you were everything to me. and, i fucking waited and waited for you to say something, to tell me you wanted me, to ask me to drop everything and come with you because i would have! i would have gone to the ends of the earth with you because i loved you.

“and you left me,” i quickly brushed away tears as they rushed from my eyes, pattering against the table like the raindrops outside the diner window.

calum didn’t respond. he shuffled in his seat, leaning back, head dropping again.

and you know that i don’t want you to go. and say you want me.

i couldn’t handle it anymore. i’d given him a chance. i’d heard him out. his explanation just wasn’t enough for the heartbreak i’d had to handle.

so, i pushed up out of the booth, tugging my purse strap over my shoulder, my hood over my head. i veered for the door, passing our waitress with a half-hearted, “excuse me.”

i cursed the diner for being so big, for the exit to be on the other side of the building from where our usual table sat. i cursed that friday evening for drawing in so many customers to watch me, mascara blackening my cheeks, snot on my nose, storm like a baby from the restaurant.

just as my hand reached the bar on the door, the jukebox wound to life. the regular radio had been playing from the louder speakers because no one really paid for the old sound machine anymore. it didn’t have any modern songs, and it cost too much, apparently.

a familiar sultry beat came from the rusty speakers. my sneakers squeaked against the linoleum floors. i pushed the strap of my purse further up my shoulder. my heart tugged itself back towards the table, but i grounded the soles of my shoes.

i turned my head, caught his eye. he smiled, sadly. his hand had been cranking the knob on the quarter insert and it slowly dropped to the table. i glanced my eyes over the back of the diner, near the bathrooms, where a space sat for dancing, abandoned by the modern years. i saw two people dancing, consuming one another, lost in the thrill of it all. lost in the music.

and then you say i want you for worse or for better, i would wait forever and ever.

i crossed my arms over my chest and slowly walked back to the table. i slid back into the booth, dropping my purse down beside me.

“why did you leave?” i whispered, that heartbroken disbelief still heavy on my chest.

“i was scared,” calum admitted. he reached a hand across the table.

i leaned back, away from it. “of what?”

“of you,” he let out a breathy laugh. i didn’t smile. calum frowned again, searched for words, “i was scared of what loving you might mean. when we were here to record the album, we got to pretend like we were normal people for a while. i didn’t have to care about the pressure from the fans, staying sober, being a good person. life just came easy and naturally. but, if i left here with your heart in my hands- things would get hard. i wouldn’t be able to keep you distant from my real life. i wouldn’t be able to keep you sacred. nothing would be normal for us ever again.”

i understood it, now. i didn’t like it- i was still angry about it. but it made sense.

he wanted a peaceful love, but life made it so everything was rocky. not even i could prevent the world to taint this.

“i couldn’t…” calum trailed off. he reached out his hand again. “i can’t do it with out you anymore. i don’t care…”

he lost his words. i set a hand upon the table, fingers inching near his. he gratefully pressed his fingertips into mine, opening my palm. i stared at our hands. electricity crackled under my skin.

“i want you and i don’t care about the rest of the world. we’ll deal with it. we’ll figure it out. if it means losing you…these past six months have been hard. i’m sure you know what i mean…”

i nodded with a hopeless chuckle. “yeah, i do.”

broke your heart i’ll put it back together. i would wait forever and ever.

“i struggled with staying sober cause i just…i felt so stupid and worthless. i know i put you through so much pain. i know leaving was wrong and awful and i’ll never forgive myself for not even explaining it. i never want to…i never want to leave you again,” he was crying.

“calum, i…” i took his hand in both mine, “i don’t know. i’m just…you took so much of me with you. i had to learn how to exist without those parts of myself. i had to relearn who i was. i had to grieve her- us. it was so hard- you just left me. but…i don’t know. i need time. i need time to think and…”

“i know, i know, i know,” calum nodded quickly. “no, i know. i don’t expect…i don’t expect any answers. i don’t expect you to confess your feelings for me. i just…i needed to tell you that i love you. i couldn’t go another day without you knowing it. i needed to tell you and…and try to get you back.”

“well,” i glanced up from our hands, meeting his eye with a hopeful smile, “i think you got me.”

and that’s how it works. that’s how you got the girl.

[inthepassengerside]

softdom!cal <3

i’m sorry i don’t proofread anything lol

“‘s such a long day today, my girl,” Calum spoke as he threaded his hands through your hair. He had been at this ever since dinner was finished, lazily cuddling on the couch, movie after movie playing on cable, and giggling at random things on your phone.

You huffed as you lay against him, “tell me about it.”

“Sorry I didn’t ask yet. How was work? Any important projects, or did they finally cut you some slack on a Friday?” He chuckled at his own joke.

You peered up at him, “it was easy today, but I think that was what made it so long. Having something to do just keeps me busy.”

“Yeah I get it baby.”

You knew he was needy, but now he wasn’t even trying to hide it. Every time a sigh left his lips it turned more into a frustrated groan. Instead of paying attention to him, you focused on the movie in front of you.

His fingertips were now tracing little details on your side as your sweatshirt had ridden up. He edged his digits closer and closer to the waistband of your shorts before kissing on your neck.

Now, you had no choice but to focus on Calum. He was purposely smacking his lips so his kisses were louder. He nibbled at your jawline, suckling and then licking the tender spots before moving up to your ear.

“Knees, baby.”

You’re embarrassed with how quickly you complied to his wishes as he shrugged himself off your body to let you get in position.

His back was against the sofa, you quickly reached for the remote and shut off the TV. Calum’s still ring-clad fingers were ruffling through his own hair as his cheeks were tinted a soft pink.

As much as you wanted to prolong this, your boyfriend’s pleasure was your own, and you couldn’t wait to get your hands on him.

You palmed him through his shorts for a little while. Hearing his tiny gasps gave you the rush to peel down his shorts and boxers and let his hard cock spring free.

It was hard and leaking, and you were practically drooling already. You let out a low, yet quiet whine at the sight of him. When you looked up at Calum, his eyes were already closed and his head lay back. You stroked his length slowly before pressing tiny kisses across his tip.

“Ah, shit,” his eyes were still closed, yet his mouth was open and his hands immediately made their way to your hair.

No matter how long he was with you and no matter how many times you’d do this for him, he never got over the way you took care of him. God, it felt so good. You always knew how to pleasure him.

You sucked at his tip, feeling a spurt of pre-cum hit your tongue. The way he throbbed in your mouth made it seem like he hadn’t cum in weeks and he was eager for release.

His hands tugged at your hair, proceeding back to the roots to push you onto him more. You gagged as your throat contracted around the slight intrusion. “Shit…” Your nails scratch at his thighs before relaxing around him.

You pull off of him after a minute with a gasp, your hands finding his base, stroking him again. You duck your head down and kiss is balls, which has him shuddering against you.

Lapping up at the heavy sack you hear his moans get more vocal and vocal. While he was quite loud when you blew him, there was something about having his balls played with that made him cry out.

You suck one into your mouth as your core starts to ache as well. Needly, you grind onto nothing as you beg for a slither of touch.

Calum hears you moan against him and it makes him moan right back at you. His lips twitch in amusement when you switch places, now fondling his balls and sucking his cock.

You weren’t playing now, roughly sucking, urging him closer and closer to release. You wanted, no, you needed him to cum so badly. Every time he let out a whimper calling your name your thighs clenched— you could feel the wetness hushing between your thighs as you shuffled your knees on the carpet.

“A-ah! Shit, what are you doing?” He whined, launching his body forward, not expecting the switch up in rhythm.

In fact, you just went harder, bobbing your head up and down while keeping eye contact with your man above you. “I’m gonna cum, fuck.”

His lips twitched up in satisfaction as you proceeded your actions with the same pace. It wasn’t long before he was spilling his seed into your mouth with a cry. “Fuuuuck,” He drew out.

After swallowing the salty substance you kept sucking slowly until he pushed you off of him from the overstimulation, “mm no more.”

You pulled his sweats back up to him, not even bothering with the tight boxers. As soon as you got to his side again, he pulled you into him, using his hand to push your jaw towards him so he could kiss you.

And he kissed you. “Thank you so much my princess, was so good, as always.”

You just whined. Had you been so focused on his pleasure, he didn’t even notice the wet spot between the cotton material covering you.

“Is my baby wet?”

“Yes daddy.”

“Kay, I’ll take care of you then.”

[msmoony7]

hey!! can you please do a fic with calum hood, maybe enemies to lovers and reader is the bands photographer or something like that (it’s okay if you don’t want to🫶🏼🫶🏼)

Love your work!!

note: hope u like it! I haven't written for 5sos yet AND i’ve never written enemies to lovers so i hope it’s good and enemy-y angsty enough. also pretend the first stop was LA and that the tour was six weeks idk how long it actually was this is just what i imagined for my little fanon fic LMAO. I kinda left this on a cliffhanger. Maybe part 2 soon??

calum hood x reader

word count: 1.84k

You wake up to the sun peeking through the cracks in your bedroom curtains. Although the weather on this day is perfect, your mood was anything but, and you wake up feeling sour. Today, you are presented with the difficult task of joining the band 5 Seconds of Summer as their tour photographer. You’ve been photographing artists for years now and it has truly become your passion. Whether it’s following an artist on your, or taking album art, you are living your dream with every picture you take.  

That’s not where the difficulty lies. You know that you’re capable of doing your job and doing it well. The difficulty lies within the band. The name of that difficulty being the band’s bassist, Calum Hood. By now, you have a long history with the band. They first invited you to join them on the Take My Hand tour last year. You quickly became good friends with Luke, Ashton, and Michael. But for some reason, Calum just could not stand to be near you. Many days and nights were spent bickering between the two of you. Arguments would come up, about your creative direction and other bullshit he brought up, leaving you no choice to fight back, creating a lasting vendetta between the pair of you. 

Of course, he made your job difficult as well. When photographing him onstage, he would mess with you and your work. Sometimes getting up in front of the camera and in your face, sometimes not letting you take any photos of him at all. And once offstage, he wouldn’t even look in your direction. Wouldn’t even address you. Despite this, your work speaks for itself and you received a message from Luke inviting you to join them again on this year's tour, The 5sos Show.  

It’s been weeks since you got the tour invitation, and months since you’ve last seen the band. All the time in the world couldn’t prepare you for six weeks on the road with Calum Hood. What he had against you, you may never know. What you do know is that as long as he presents this dislike towards you, you will be doing the same right back at him. 

Was putting yourself through all this stress worth it? You ponder for a moment when you wake up, but ultimately decide you made the right choice. You are set to meet up with the band and crew this evening before you set out on the road together, marking the start of the long six weeks ahead. You put on some music and start packing your suitcase. 

After a while, you’re happy with everything in your suitcase and zip it up. Living out of a suitcase was difficult, but you’ve had prior experience so you know the do’s and don'ts of packing. You pack your backpack, carry on, and your camera supplies and before you know it, the day is behind you and it’s time to converge with the band. You call an uber to take you to the address Luke gave you and you’re on your way. 

Traffic isn’t too bad, so you make it to the address quicker than you would have liked. The crew is already there, but the band is nowhere to be seen. You help yourself onto the bus and begin putting your things in your designated area. You feel the bus shift as someone steps on. Before you can turn around, you can already tell who is walking up behind you. 

“Well, what do we have here?” you hear a sarcastic voice say behind you. You turn around and lock eyes with the bassist. He’s wearing grey sweatpants and a green 5sos sweatshirt. He looks adorable and cozy, and you hate him for being so gorgeous and so annoying all at the same time. 

“Not even the first day of the tour and we’re already fighting, are we?” you spit back at him. 

“Seems that way,” he replies before scurrying off to whatever hole he’s gonna bury himself in until he needs to be found again. 

The rest of the boys slowly scatter onto the bus, and your meetings with them go better than yours with Calum. Everyone picks out their bunks and once everyone is settled onto the bus, the driver begins driving to the first stop on the road and you allow yourself to fall asleep for the night. 

You wake up to the sound of fighting. It takes you a few seconds to shake off your grogginess before you hear two voices shouting back and forth at each other from the other end of the bus. 

“You can’t keep acting like this!” you can hear Luke yell. 

“Sure I can! I can't stand her being here and I’m not going to pretend I do.”

“Whatever, man. Do what you want, I give up. Just don’t come complaining when it comes to bite you in the ass.”

You can hear them shuffling around the bus as you stay hidden behind your curtain. Although your hatred for Calum was mutual, you couldn’t help but let a tear fall down your cheek as you lay in your bunk, thinking about everything you’ve had to endure from him in the past and will have to in the future on this tour. You are tired of feeling like this. Feeling beat down by him and his words, his actions. Now, you’re determined to get to the bottom of his hatred for you. You wipe away your tears, jump out of bed, and get ready for the day. 

Tonight is the first night of the tour at The Kia Forum in Los Angeles. You’re excited. After all, you do love your job. You decide that the best way to get through the tour is to ignore Calum and his antics. 

The day goes by quickly. The opening band is onstage and you’ve successfully avoided Calum the entire day. You grab all your camera equipment so you have it ready to go when the boys go onstage. 

Calum sneaks up behind you, bass in hand. “Where’ve you been, y/n? Haven’t seen you all day, it’s almost like you’re ignoring me. You wouldn’t do that though, would you?”

“For the love of god, fuck off. Get away from me.” You huff at him while grabbing your camera and walking towards the side stage. The lights go off and he shoots you a wink before walking onstage. You push all this out of your head and get in front of the stage and start taking photos of the boys. 

The night goes as well as you could have expected given your circumstances. You get some good photos of the boys. Calum was his usual self. This time around, he decided that whenever you got too close to him, he would turn around, making sure that you don’t get photos of his face or his instrument. Despite this, you do get some good photos of him. In all honesty, you think this is some of your best work. Calum looks really good. Even if you can’t see his face.

The boys all run offstage after the encore, high off of the energy from the gig. You shoot them a congratulations and you can see Calum heading in the opposite direction of you. Typical, you think. 

The next stop of the tour wasn’t for another two days, so the boys are having a party to celebrate the tour kicking off. You follow Luke, Ashton, and Michael and see that the party is already in motion. Calum’s already at the bar grabbing a drink and your body moves before you can think and all of the sudden, you’re sitting next to him. 

“What do you want,” he mutters sharply, not even looking up from his drink.

“How’d you know it was me?”

“Vodka cran,” he says to the bartender and nods at you. “I swear, whenever you get within ten feet of me I can feel my blood pressure rising,” he says in defeat as he gets up from his seat.

“Where’re you going? I thought we were finally getting along.”

“Back to the bus before I say something I’ll regret.”

And with that, he disappears out the door, leaving you confused as the bartender hands you your drink. 

“I don’t know what his issue is,” you confess to Luke once you find him later that night. An hour or two has passed since you last saw Calum and you’re feeling tipsy from the alcohol. 

“I wish I could tell you, y/n. I really wish I could. But we have no idea why he’s like this. We all love you and we love your work, I don’t know why he has it out for you.”

“Yeah, I don’t know. If I’m honest, I’m getting to my breaking point. I don’t think I can handle it anymore.”

“Want us to talk to him?” Luke says with concern written on his face. You can tell him and the other boys genuinely do care about you. It makes you feel good knowing that you have people to fall back on in this drama. 

“Thanks, but I think I’m actually gonna go speak to him now. I’m just tired of it and I need answers now.”

“Well, good luck. Let us know how it goes.”

You say bye to everyone at the party and you leave to find Calum and get some long awaited answers for yourself. The walk to the bus is not far and as you’re approaching, you see Calum sitting on a bench outside, smoking a cigarette and looking up at the sky. He hears your footsteps on the ground and groans when he realizes it’s you. 

“Following me now, are you?” 

“Oh shut up, will you?” you say as you steal the cigarette from his hand, taking a drag before handing it back to him. “You’re an ass, you do know that, right?”

“What do you think, y/n.”

“I wanna know why.”

“Why what?”

“What do you think, Calum? You’ve never liked me. I’ve done nothing wrong. I literally can’t do this anymore, I don’t know what to do!”

He sits and thinks for a minute, leaving the two of you in silence. You stare at him as he stares at the ground ahead of him, waiting for a response. A minute goes by, then two. No response. 

“Are you gonna answer me?” you yell. Still, no response. “Whatever, I’m done. Bye.” You say as you get up. You start walking in the direction of the tour bus when you feel him grab your arm and turn you around. Before you realize what’s going on, his lips crash into yours. At first, you don’t know what to do and you stand there frozen. He pulls away and just stares at you, and you stare right back. 

“That an answer enough for you?” he says to you. 

“Oh will you just shut up?” you say as you cusp his cheeks, pulling him towards you once more.

[brunettangel]

lover | calum hood.

calum hood x reader.

summary: calum takes his girl to the eras tour.

calum was always private when it came to his relationships. although he loved and appreciated each and every single one of his adoring fans, he never liked to be bombarded with taking pictures while out with his love. he never wanted to put her in a position to receive heavy amounts of hate just for being with him. when going out, he liked being low-key just for her protection. but tonight, he had high driven anxiety. tonight, he would be taking his beloved girlfriend to the eras tour.

calum knew how much his girlfriend loved taylor swift and her music. he knew it was a dream of hers to see taylor live. so, being the great boyfriend he is, he surprised her with tickets for her birthday and now the day had finally come. calum knew without a doubt that he and his love would be spotted by fans and that made him nervous. he didn’t want anyone to be mean to his girl or give her dirty looks as some had in the past. he just wanted her to enjoy this long awaited night and all he could do was hope for the best.

when the two arrived at the venue, they were lead to an open tent by security. the tent was mainly for celebrities and taylor’s family. calum was more than happy for his girl when she got to take a photo with taylor’s mother who also handed her, her first friendship bracelet of the night. a few minutes later, calum was enjoying drinks with his love and listening to the opening act, gracie abrams, another one of her favorite artists. he noticed how a few fans noticed them and tried coming over to the booth. “calum! I made these for you guys!” a girl yelled.

calum walked over to the fan, keeping a smile on his face. the girl handed him two bracelets. one with his initials and one with his girlfriend’s initials. “these are very nice, thank you so much!” calum smiled. he took a look back, checking on his girl who was simply singing along to the song that gracie was performing. “can i take a photo with the two of you, please?” the girl asked. that simple question made calum smile, it was the first time a fan wanted to take a photo with y/n as well. “of course” he smiled at the fan as he motioned for y/n to come over to him.

he didn’t miss the nervous expression on her face. “oh my god! you’re so gorgeous!!” the fan squealed towards y/n. a smile instantly crept upon her face as she thanked the fan. calum took the photo of them three and handed one of the bracelets to y/n. “that made my entire night, she was so kind” y/n spoke. calum smiled and kissed his love’s forehead. by the time taylor was on stage, y/n had both arms filled with friendship bracelets that fans had given to her. fans were so kind to her, begging for photos with both her and calum.

calum was more than relieved at the positive attention his girl was getting after being given nothing but hate for so long. it was definitely the best night he’s had in a long time. he sang along to songs with his girl, held her as she cried to different songs, danced with her, and carried her back to the car when she was so exhausted. as the two were back home in bed, calum scrolled through his twitter timeline and saw that fans had filmed them holding each other and slow dancing as taylor performed lover.

he smiled at the videos, watching his love look at him with so much admiration and love. slow dancing with him so carefree in a room full of so many people. he looked over at her exhausted figure, holding his hand as she was falling asleep. “i love you, cal” she mumbled before fully falling asleep. oh yeah, he was definitely marrying her.

[writersdare]

5SOS ♡ Masterlist

Last update: 10.01.2025

Main Masterlist | Requests are temporary closed | Prompt List | Taglist | Recommendations | Angst Endings

♡ – readers' favourite; ♥︎ – the most popular 5SOS work

Luke Hemmings

The Last Time new Summary: It was rather naive of Luke to believe he wouldn’t grow a flaming sympathy for Y/N. Warning: fwb to lovers

Hold Me Tight Summary: Luke has been plagued by nightmares, but Y/N was always there for him. Warning: hurt/comfort, nightmares

Let Me Love You Summary: Luke knew it wasn’t his fault Y/N didn’t let him get any closer, but he just wished to know what he could do to make it better. Warning: angsty, trusting issues, mentioning of a breakup, the reader may have low self-esteem Two Gummy Worms ♡ Summary: Luke was determined to take Y/N on a night drive. Some things, though, didn’t want to go according to his perfect plan. Warning: friends to lovers, fluff, mentioning of food

He Called Her a Fairy Summary: No matter how excited Luke was to go on tour, it was always too heartbreaking to say goodbye to Y/N. However, that parting was worth going through to meet again. Warning: hurt/comfort, angsty

Eyes Can Speak Too Summary: Being blinded by the feelings for each other, Luke and Y/N didn’t see the obvious things. Warning: friends to lovers, angst, trusting issues, a bit of cursing and mentioning of alcohol

Sweeter Than Honey Summary: Spending a simple evening with Y/N, Luke realised she was always his happy place. Warning: fluff

Baby Girl Summary: Even in Y/N’s darkest times, Luke was always there to guide her to the light. Warning: hurt/comfort, disordered eating

Why Won’t You Love Me Summary: Luke and Y/N broke up after a few months of dating so they could at least remain friends, but seemed like it didn’t ease the pain. Warning: angst, fluff, a bit of cursing and mentioning of alcohol

Never Doubt Me Summary: A date, it would seem, could not get any worse, but then Luke remembered a painful rumour he heard about Y/N. Warning: argument

No Longer Together Summary: Trying to move on from a breakup, Luke and Y/N found each other at the same room, playing “spin the bottle”. Warning: College!AU, angst, mention of alcohol and a breakup

More coming...

Ashton Irwin

Keep It Quiet ♡ Summary: Ashton and Y/N kept their relationship a secret for a while, but one interview made the things a little complicated. Warning: none

Give Me Attention Summary: Ashton and Y/N had been friends for a while. However, everything changed once she found out an unpleasant secret he thought to hide from her. Warning: angst, an intimate moment, a bit of cursing and mentioning of alcohol

More coming...

Michael Clifford

Don’t Be a Stranger Summary: The tour was over, and Michael and Y/N finally met again. Both were uncertain who they were to each other after months being apart. Warning: slight angst

Calum Hood

Ghost of You Summary: It had been four months of silence between Calum and Y/N. Could she finally move on?  Warning: angst All Too Well Summary: It’s the first time ever when Calum and Y/N didn’t need to be apart, as they were going on tour together. However, things could never just be perfect, could they? Warning: angst, fluff, a bit of cursing

Strawberry Jam Summary: The winter holidays were simply the best for both Calum and Y/N, especially when a heating problem in their house occurred. Warning: fluff, friends to lovers

Password Is Your Birthday ♡♥︎ Summary: Y/N never doubted Calum’s loyalty, however, once controversial photos were leaked, their relationship was put to the test. Warning: angsty, mention of alcohol

Paris Broke My Heart Part 1 | Part 2 Summary: Calum knew he’d lose Y/N each time she’d start a new relationship, but that time it was different. She was leaving the country, maybe forever. Warning: 18+ (non-detailed smut), angst, fluff, friends to lovers, cursing and mentioning of alcohol

More coming...

– photo is obv not mine and belongs to the rightful owner –

© writersdare | all rights reserved

All stories are original and written by me. Do not copy, trace and post anywhere without permission and credit. The stories are fictional, they do not correspond to reality and written just for fun ♡

[nobitchs-world]

Me after realizing I look like my father

[ameliora-j]

Thinking abt slipping cal a polaroid w a lipstick print into his suitcase when he goes on tour......mmmmm -calum girlie

okay but i’m thinking of like a cute sfw one and then the naughty ones

like one of u j blowing a kiss to the camera with your lipstick stain and then another one of you in his fave lingerie set w two lipstick stains…

and then there’s like two full film packs of you giving him a strip tease and then w you sitting on the custom dildo of his cock he got u for when he goes on tour and…

as soon as he gets to his first stop and opens his suitcase he’s on the phone with you, hand already wrapped tight around his cock as he sifts through the pictures. the first thing you hear is “y’know ‘m gonna beat your ass when i see you, right y’little tease?” and it’s breathy as he’s jerking himself off.

“lookin’ forward to it, daddy” you whine softly as you bounce on your favorite dildo

[riya-kaur]

calum thomas hood

summary: everyone knows about the crush you and calum have on each other, but still, the two off you brush it off. calum thinks hiding his feelings by acting differently will help him get over you, but it doesn't.

cw! swearing!

eight years.

part two!

december had quickly approached by, which meant soon it would be everyone's favourite holiday: christmas.

this year, you had decided to tag along to a ski retreat with ashton, mali-koa, and your absolute favourite person in the world- calum hood.

you had first heard about this weekend trip on thanksgiving, when everyone had gathered round michael's to celebrate his newborns' first thanksgiving.

after your interest was peaked, you decided to ask if you could tag along, and ashton and mali jumped with joy accepting, whereas calum stayed stone-cold.

so nearly a month had passed, the car that was parked outside your house, honking impatiently.

"fuck" you muttered as you sat on your suitcase, hoping to press down some of the weight. your hands pulled at the zipper, you let out a sigh as you continued to tug on it.

"you're gonna break it" a deep, familiar voice says from behind you. you turn your head, meeting calum's soft eyes as he leant against the door frame with a cigarette in his hand.

"can you make yourself useful then, and help?" you sneer as you throw your hands up in the air. calum chuckles before he walks past you. his steps stop once he reaches your window. he takes his cigarette from between his lips and burns it out before tossing it outside.

"move" he nods his head to the side.

you sigh as you stand up from the suitcase, taking the same position on your bed.

your eyes observe calum as he kneels down beside your suitcase, "you sure there's nothing you can avoid taking?" he asks as you he lifts up the top of the case.

your eyes fall onto calum as he lingers a stare on your clothing that lay at the top; swimsuits and your underwear.

flustered, you reach over and shut the top of the case, "nope"

calum shakes his head before muttering something under his breath. he places a heavy hand on the top of the case, forcefully pushing down as his other hand found the zipper. in a swift movement, his hand pulls around the case, zipping it close.

"easy" calum retorts. he stands up and lifts the suitcase up onto its' wheels, "can we go now?" he asks, you nod before thanking him. the two of you make your way out of your house, and you lock it from the outside before catching up to calum.

he sets your suitcase in the trunk before the two of you take a seat in his car.

the journey to the resort was a quiet one. you tried lightening the mood by humming along to the radio, but once you saw calum giving you a glance, you settled your lips in between your lips, feeling embarrassed.

the only talking he did throughout the drive was when mali, his sister had rang him. letting him know that her and ashton had bought the food shop and had made it to the cabin you were all staying at.

what had felt like hours, the two of you had finally arrived.

"what took you guys so long?" mali exclaims, opening up the front door wide. "someone wanted starbucks" calum rolls his eyes before walking past his sister with both his and yours' suit cases in his hands.

"i got it for everyone!" you retort, setting the cup holder down on the table in the hallway before hugging mali.

ashton then comes running into the hug as he wraps his arms around you both.

"come on, cal" mali shouts over her brother. "no, thanks" he mutters. "calum thomas hood, if you don't get your ass over here right this second, i'll show everyone that picture of you dressed up as a bratz doll" mali rambles but as soon as she threatened calum he came jogging over beside you and ashton.

you turned your head slightly and held your arm out to calum. his eyes flicker between your arm and your eyes before letting out a sigh.

he moves his gaze over to his sister, giving her a death stare. his arm hovers over the small of your back whilst his other arm tightly wraps around ashton's shoulder.

the four of you stand there laughing before pulling away. "that was cute," mali giggles, picking up a cup of coffee from the table.

your move your eyes over to calum, "d'know what would be even cuter?" you ask him. "what?" he snaps back. "you dressed as a bratz doll" you giggle, taking small steps towards him.

you let your hand rise to his hair, your fingers combing his hair. he looks at you, embarrassed. his cheeks turning a deep red. once you realize what you were doing, you quickly retract your hand back, dropping it to your side.

"shit, sorry. i don't know what-" you began to ramble, "it's fine, " he huffs. you nod awkwardly before trying to change the conversation.

"so room situations?" you ask as you look over at mali. "there's three rooms" mali begins. "and only one master suite" she finishes as she nods her head over at calum.

"so?" calum asks, shrugging his shoulders. "you're gonna have to share, calum"

"fuck, no. you take the suite and share with her" calum shakes his head. "stop being difficult calum, besides i've unpacked my stuff already," mali exclaims. calum looks over at ashton, "c'mon mate" ashton speaks up. "i'm totally fine on the couch" you pipe up as you twiddle with the rings on your fingers.

"it's fine" calum says once again, "you're with me, i guess" he let's out a sigh as he grabs the suitcases, trekking them up the stairs. "come on, then"

"coming!" you hurry up the stairs, following him into the master suite.

"we should set some ground rules." calum starts. "good idea," you return. "you have that half of the room, and i'll get this half." calum points at the opposite side of the room, letting you know which side yours was.

"seriously?" you raise your eyebrows at him. he nods his head, shaking his head to the side. "calum, that's so stupid. we're not kids"

"fine, what rules did you have? he asks. "i dress here, you in the ensuite. i want the side of the bed closest to the window and no bringing anyone back here cause i don't want to walk in on anything that you're up to" you list.

"is that everything, princess?" he curtseys in front of you with a sarcastic tone, and his eyes stay glued to you as he does so.

you put up your middle finger, aiming it towards him, he simply rolls his eyes.

"we should unpack"

whilst the two of you were finishing up unpacking, mali called you both down for dinner.

the four of you sat around the fireplace, pizza boxes scattered around you all as you sat and watched 'gilmore girls', the boys complaining at every chance they had.

whilst absent-mindedly watching the tv, you reached for the last pizza slice in the box. once you had felt another's hand already on the slice, you jerked your hand away.

"take it," you look over at calum, who had now moved his hand away, nodding his head over at the slice.

"no it's fine, it's yours." you shake your head before letting your eyes fall on the tv again. "just take it, y/n," you hear him say, but you simply shake your head to the side, keeping your eyes on the tv.

calum sighs before picking up the slice, which you saw out of your peripheral eyesight.

seconds later, you see him open his palm out to you, "here, take it" he says. you look down at his palm the see that he had tore the pizza in half.

you hear ashton say something in the background which made calum roll his eyes, "take it y/n, i made it fair" he shrugs. you give him a nod before taking one of the halves out of his hand, "thanks cal"

after finishing up, the four of you decided to play some card games, which led to every game being won by mali.

"what can i say, i'm older so i'm wiser." she smiles proudly. the three of you chuckle at her as she takes a bow.

"well, tonight's been fun guys" you pipped up, standing up from the floor, which you were seated on.

"i'm gonna get some sleep for tomorrow" you say, "make sure you guys set your alarms" mali exclaims, "yes mom" you roll your eyes playfully at her.

"goodnight guys," you smile. "i'll be up soon" calum says. you give him a nod before making your way into your shared room.

you lock the bedroom door behind you before pulling out a pyjama set; an oversized black tee and some short, baggy, grey shorts.

you headed over to ensuite, pulling your hair up in a messy bun on the top of your head, strands falling onto your face, to help frame your face.

you then washed your face and patted it dry before beginning to brush your teeth.

as you brushed around the toothpaste in your mouth, you heard a lazy knock to the door. knowing it was calum, you headed to the door, unlocking it.

"hey" he says, dropping his phone on the bed. with you not being able to reply with the toothpaste in your mouth, you gave him a small wave before returning back to the ensuite.

you once again shut the door, thinking he would change into his pyjamas.

once you had finished brushing your teeth, you called out to calum, "can i come in, cal?" you ask.

"yep" you hear him say, with that you open the door to see him already laid in bed.

he pulls the covers over himself, but before he does so, you scan his body to see what he's wearing: a black tank top and grey joggers.

you walk around to your side of the bed, slipping under the covers.

you laid on your back as you stared at the ceiling. the room was dark, but with the small lights from the window coming in, you could see calum in the same position as you.

you felt your eyes becoming heavy as you closed them. you had felt like you were falling asleep until you heard your phone ringtone blare out. "shit, sorry," you apologise as you scramble out of the bed to grab your phone of the table.

you checked your phone to see crystal calling you, and you slipped out the room, shutting the door behind you. but you stayed in front of the door as you answered her call.

"y/n, how was the drive?" she asks, "mali mentioned you came with calum" you giggled at the thought of mali and crystal talking about you and calum.

"yes, we did. it made sense to just take one car" you whisper. "has calum made a move yet?" she squeals. you furrow your eyebrows, "what'd you mean, made a move, crys?" you ask.

"what do you mean, what do i mean? this is so obvious y/n, " she starts, "everyone knows about you and calum, " she ends. "babe, there is no me and calum, i'm pretty sure he hates me," you pipe up. you hear crystal cracking up on the other side of the phone. "y/n, surely you've noticed how he acts around you"

"like friends?" you question. "ask mali, she'll back me up" crystal says.

you try ending the conversation as soon as you can, wanting to not talk about this topic. and you definitely weren't going to ask mali either about her thoughts. that would be embarrassing.

after ending the call, you made your way back into the bedroom, tiptoeing back to your side the bed. just in case calum had fell asleep.

you slip under the covers, placing your back against the mattress again. "was it crys?" calum asks. you look over at him and watch his biceps flex as he tucks his hands behind his head.

you hum in response, "is she okay?" his voice laced with concern. "she's all good cal, baby and mike too," you answer, and you feel his head nod.

"goodnight y/n"

"goodght cal"

it was now the next day, you had woken up to bright flash to your eyes.

you stirred in a warm embrace, nuzzling your head into the pillow.

"look how cute" mali's voice is heard in the room. you blinked open your eyes as you took in your surroundings.

shit! your hand was hung loosely around calum's bicep, your calf slightly tangled with his leg, and your head was nuzzled in his neck.

you brushed yourself off of him, causing him to stir, "what's happening?" calum asks, his voice hoarse and croaky.

"nothing!" you say quickly. a bit too quickly.

mali giggles before turning her phone around, showing you both the picture she had taken, you noticed calum had his head on yours, one hand still behind his head whilst his other laid dangerously low on your back.

you felt your cheeks growing red as you turned away from them both. calum clears his throat before sitting up on the bed.

"me and ashton are heading to the slopes, you guys woke up late so we'll meet you there" mali informs the both of you, you give her a nod before you watch her leave.

"i'm sorry" he apologizes. you shake your head as you look at him, "no that was on me, i was on your side of the bed, shit i'm sorry" you ramble.

calum follows suit and shakes his head, "it's not that deep, right?" he asks. "of course, not" you faked a smile before excusing yourself to the ensuite.

maybe everything crystal had said to you yesterday was getting in your head, making you unconsciously act out.

you tried brushing off the feelings, but you couldn't. you started replaying times when you and calum were together and the little things he used to do. you always thought he hated you, but maybe he didn't?

"you nearly done in there?" you hear calum ask from the other side. "just a few minutes" you call out. you snap out of your thoughts and start brushing your teeth before washing your face.

you walk back into the room, beelining straight to the wardrobe. as your hands were occupied with finding an outfit, your eyes sneakily fell on calum before he entered the ensuite, locking the door.

"fuck" you muttered, letting out a heavy breath that you didn't notice you were holding in.

once you had found an outfit suitable to the cold, you applied some light makeup: blush, mascara, and lip balm.

you then called out to calum, letting him know you'd be waiting for him downstairs. whilst making your way downstairs, you pulled your phone out of your jacket pocket, dialling crystal's number.

she answered after the first dial, "i need your help, i'm going crazy. like i don't want to be dealing with these feelings right now crys, i don't know what the fuck is happening to me. one minute, i think he's a jerk, and then the more i start thinking about him, i get butterflies in my stomach, and they hurt crys, it fucking hurts" you rambled over the phone, not even allowing her a moment to speak.

"say something," finally reaching downstairs, you take a seat on the couch, awaiting for a response. "are you okay?" your eyes widened when you recognized the voice over the phone as not crystal's.

"perfectly fine, mike." your cheeks turning into a deep rep shade, "where's crys?" you ask, a nervous laugh coming following suit.

"she's out with sierra, she left her phone at home," michael says. "oh okay, well, no need to let her know i called, but i should be going now," you try to hurry the conversation to an end.

"okay, no worries" he says, "y/n?" he says quickly after. "are you sure you're okay?" he asks. you let out a little sigh, "i'll be fine"

"ready to go?" calum says running down the stairs, he stands at the end of the stair, looking over at you. you give him a nod, "one sec" you mouth to him.

"i have to get going, mike. i'll see you soon. " you finish off the call after hearing michael saying his goodbyes.

"is he okay?" calum asks you, as he watches you now walking over. he give him a nod. "we should probably get going, it's like a twenty minute walk" calum informs you.

"can't we take your car?" you ask, frowning your lips. "we can't, there's no cars allowed up there" he says. "but we can take a cable car?"

the two of you stood in line for one of the cable cars. it wasn't busy, so you both managed to get a cable car for the both of you.

you both sat on opposite sides to each other. looking down, you watched as the cable car left the tunnel, your eyes widening at the extreme height.

"is this a bad time to say i'm terrified of heights?" your eyes find calum's soothing brown ones as you nervously place your bottom lip in between your lips.

"just don't look down, okay," his voice soothing, he leans forward slightly, watching as you twist the rings on your fingers. you nod your head at the advice.

but you felt your chest becoming too hurt as you exhaled heavier breaths. "hey, you're gonna be okay" he quickly rushes over to your side, sitting beside you. "sit back" he says and so you do.

he let's one of his hands cup your cheeks, "just look at me, focus on my breathing, okay?" and so you start following his breathing pattern. once you had calmed down, you realized calum's thumb rubbing circles on your cheeks.

you looked up at him before glancing at his hand that was still on your cheek. he quickly let go, clearing his throat, to help fill the silence.

"we're here" he spoke in monotone, whilst looking out the glass.

he stands up, waiting for the doors to open, you follow behind him as he walks out.

the exit tunnel was extremely overcrowded, which hinted at the fact that the slopes would be busy.

"c'mere" calum says, reaching out for you hand, pulling you against his chest as he lead you both out of the exit tunnel.

your body melted against him, his chest pressing into your back, making you weak in your knees. his hands settled on your waist as he guided you.

once the two of you had finally left the tunnel, you were both met with the brightest snow on the slopes.

"let's go look for the others," calum says as he pulls himself away from you. your lips turned into a small frown at the loss of warmth. not wanting him to see you, you quickly plastered a smile on your lips before giving him a nod.

after minutes of searching, the two of you had regrouped with mali and ashton. the four of you decided to have some hot chocolates from one of the pop-ups. so whilst ashton and calum went to go buy them, you and mali sat at a table.

you noticed mali giving you a wide grin, "what?" you giggled. "nothing," you could tell she was lying, so you simply just raised an eyebrow up at her.

"it's just you and calum -" she starts, but you quickly stop her. "i feel awkward talking to you about this. he's your brother." you shake your head.

she opens her mouth to start speaking again but gets interrupted by ashton and calum, placing the hot chocolates down on the table.

calum takes a seat beside you whilst ashton sits besides mali.

the four of you make mindless conversations whilst sipping on your hot chocolates.

after what was around an hour, ahston and mali decided the wanted to ski down the slopes.

"you guys wanna join?" ashton asks. "you guys go ahead, i'll watch you three," calum gives you a quick glance, "i'll stay with you" he says before finishing off his drink. "we'll find something else to do," he says.

you quickly shake your head, "no cal, you should go, i don't want you to miss out" you argue. "no, i don't even want to ski, we'll go find something else, okay?" he asks. "are you sure?" you ask him and he responds with a nod.

"we'll see you guys later then" ashton says. "let us know if you end up going back to the cabin" mali says before running off to catch up with ashton.

"so what'd you wanna do?" you ask calum.

"sleigh ride?" he raises his eyebrow whilst asking you. "that's sounds perfect!" you squeal.

so the two of you make your way over to the sleigh carriages, taking a seat in an unoccupied one.

the two of you sit back whilst you watch the reindeers start to take small steps forward.

"so, have you always been scared of heights?"

you turn your head to look at calum, "not always, but as i got older, i guess i got sacred of the lack of stability and control" you say, "sorry that was a bit deep" you giggle. calum gives you a smile in return.

as the forty minute sleigh ride went on, the more the two of you talked, on a personal and connected level.

ashton and mali had also made their way back up to you guys.

"it was honestly so fun!" you exclaim as you tell ashton and mali about the sleigh ride. you notice calum's lips turning into a smile as he watched you ramble about how good the sleigh ride was.

"cal" mali exclaims, trying to regain calum back in from his daydreaming. calum replies with a hum. "what did we always do up here when we were younger?" she smiles as she jumps up and down on the spot.

calum rolled his eyes playfully, "snow angels" he chuckles. "come on, everyone!" she announces as she falls back onto the snow, letting her arms and legs push around the snow as she flaps them in the snow.

the three of you follow suit as now the four of you create snow angels.

once the shape was imprinted in the snow, mali and ashton rose back to their feet, and you once again followed shortly behind them. "need a hand," you giggle as you watch calum, struggling to get up.

he hums as he reaches for your hand. before you know it, you feel him tug on your hand, making you fall forward and on top of him.

your face inches apart as your hands now lay on his hard chest. you look up to his eyes as he looks down at yours. he places his hand on the low of your back.

"hey" he smiles. "hi" you smile back. "y-y/n" he whispered, and you hummed in response.

"get a room!" ashton chuckles. you notice calum bite his cheek before opening his mouth again, "you're on me," he says. "oh, yeah, shit, sorry," you rambled as you quickly found your stance back onto your feet, brushing of the snow that was on your clothes.

"what the-" you begin to say as you feel something being thrown at you. you turn around to see mali throwing snow balls at you. you giggled before bending down to create a ball of snow in your hands.

you stood back up and threw it on her back.

"snowball fight!" ashton called out.

and there, the four of you were throwing snowballs at each other.

after throwing multiple at ashton and mali, you decide to throw some at calum. so you had two snowballs in your hand, about to throw them in calum's direction, but before you could, you felt a heavy weight being thrown to your head, making you trip over your feet.

"fuck! are you okay?" you hear calum say, panic in his voice, as he rushes over to your side.

you brought your hand to your head as you rubbed it. "it's hurts" you winced. "i'm so sorry" he repeats as he brings his hand over yours, rubbing the place he had hit you with the snowball.

he then moved my hand from it, letting his lips leave a small kiss on the area. "i should take her back" calum says as he helps you up on your feet. you shake your head, "i'll be fine"

despite saying you were fine, calum still made you go back to the cabin with him. you told mali and ashton to stay out still and to still keep having fun.

the journey back to the cabin was pretty much quiet except when you were back in the cable car, you felt your head starting to pound so you winced from the pain and calum had asked you if you were okay.

once you had gotten back, you went straight into the bedroom and got changed, calum doing the same in the bathroom.

you were sat in the bed as you massaged the side of your head.

"how're you feeling?" calum asks as he enters back into the room, this time with a tracksuit on.

"i'll be fine, calum," you shake your head as you look up at him. you watched as he walked over to your side of the bed, kneeling down in front of you.

he didn't say anything, just simply looked up at you as his hand cupped your cheek, his thumb creating shapes on your cheek.

"you confuse me" you scoff as you catch his eyes with yours.

"what do you mean?" he asks as he rises from his knees.

"i thought we were getting along on this trip, cal. i thought you were lossening up around me. i thought you had dropped your jerk act, but as soon as you do, you put it back on again. why? why won't you let in?" you let your hand intertwine with his, tugging on it, making him take a seat beside you on the bed. which he did.

"how long have we known each other for, y/n?" calum ask, you furrow your eyebrows, "eight years"

"eight years, it's been y/n" he starts. "eight years of me being completely and utterly infatuated with you. eight years of me wanting you for myself, eight years of having you consume my every thought. eight years of knowing i couldn't be with you because i don't deserve you, eight years' worth of songs that were written about you because i couldn't bring myself to tell you how i'd felt"

whilst he was expressing his feelings, you noticed at some point he had reached for you hands, he was looking down at them, twiddling with them.

"i thought if i could try distance myself away from you by acting the way i have, it would hurt less but fuck it hasn't" he sighs.

he looks up into your eyes, "can i be selfish for a second?" he asks as his eyes flicker to your lips.

you nod as you watch him lean into your lips, placing a delicate kiss on them.

he moves his hands, so he's cupping your cheeks, "i've wanted to do that for so long"

"i wish you told me" you shake your head. "i'm sorry y/n about everything," he says as he rests his forehead against mine.

"it took you eight years calum" you begin, "let's not make its nine, okay?" you nod before letting your lips catch his.

a/n: i wanted to extend this, but i didn't want this to be too long, so it'll be either be a part two to this or i might change it a little bit to be its own work to be different but regardless it'll be the next post.

also this took me forever to writeee :'(

[calumsargwife]

'my favorite part'

calum hood x fem!famous!reader

summary: you and Calum can't help but love each other on a night out.

warnings: use of alcohol and cigarettes, mentions of weed. (if i let something out let me know!)

word count: 1.4k

note: wrote this after listening to my favorite part by mac miller. this is also the first time i write something. please let me know what you guys think about this and if i should keep writing!! i hope you guys like it!! (English is not my first language so there may be some grammatical errors, sorry!)

The bar was full of people and good music, managing to create a unique atmosphere. You were all in the VIP sector of the place. The 5sos boys and some of them with their girlfriends. One of them was Calum, who had you under his arm in a comforting and firm way.

You raised your head slightly after letting out a big laugh at one of Ashton's jokes. You admired your boyfriend and sighed, unable to believe how much fun you were having. He looked so good, his hair was now longer, after having made the decision to no longer have those blonde highlights, leading to a beautiful and perfect length that let you admire his curls in a way you had never seen before. He had new tattoos and just the whole aura about him had become different, he wasn't a teenager anymore and he definitely didn't look like one. It was obvious that you were really enjoying this stage of him.

You briefly remember the day you met him. Both were on a red carpet at the Music Awards. You had recently released your last album and it was being a complete success. When you met Calum things were different. Your last relationship had ended a short time ago and you didn't really have in mind meeting someone new, you just wanted time where you could focus on yourself, your music and your friends, something you had been neglecting lately. However, meeting the band was something that gave your world a 360° turn. Instantly you all connected and became friends, it was inevitable. They had that incredible Australian charm in their blood that was impossible to resist, not that you're complaining either.

After that night on the red carpet, you hadn't seen the boys again. There were tours in between, which kept you two apart for six months. It's not like you guys kept in touch, you just hit it off one night and became instant friends, but that was it. Or so you thought. After what seemed like an eternity, you met again at the party of some famous person that you can't remember now.

After much back and forth for about a year and a half, you and Calum finally started dating. It was a surprise for you guys, seriously. Calum didn't really think about falling in love again after many broken hearts, he was at that stage where he hated relationships and would rather have casual encounters than have to be vulnerable with someone again. That's why he was so surprised after realizing that he had feelings for you. In this time you had gotten to know each other and the rest of the boys, becoming a constant in their lives.

And here he was, all head over heels for this girl, he couldn't believe it.

But he was so, so happy. Every time he thought about it he just couldn't help but feel this burning feeling inside of him, and he loved the burning, he never loved something so much. And he was glad he finally let these walls he built around him fall. Calum was scared, completely scared. He was so afraid of breaking apart again, he didn't think he could bare another heart break, it would kill him. Especially this one. But after a while, he realized this was the right choice. You were the right one.

And that brings us to today, 5sos had just released their new album, Youngblood. Now everyone was in this bar for a celebration and they really were having one of the nights of their lives. You had drunk a little and so did Calum, which now was making you feel a bit tipsy, but nothing too over the edge. Some of the other guys were already pretty wasted and it was almost 3 am.

You and Calum had dedicated yourselves to making your relationship of almost a year very private, leaving only what had to be known, that you were together.

And you were happy with that, you were really glad that you could have something in your life to just yourself. Your and the guys life was sometimes way too public and you didn't like it at all. So, having your relationship under your control was something incredibly refreshing. You loved Calum and you would protect what you guys have against everything. He was your favorite part of the day and you wouldn't let someone take that away.

Suddenly, you heard the song changing in the background. You smiled at what it got to your ears. 'My Favorite Part' by Mac Miller and Ariana grande was playing right now, and you couldn't believe the timing.

You smiled softly at the feeling. This song has been your favourite since it dropped, loving the way it captured what falling in love the right way was, something that was slow and very nice, without the need to be rushed. The same way it felt for you to fall in love with Calum. He was just so right. The nostalgia of the song came to your mind.

"This life can be so hard, I'd rather talk about you..." You whispered the words of the song in Calum's ear and looked at him with a vague smile due to the alcohol but at the same time with one that looked so in love, you hung a little from his neck with your arms in order that only he can hear you. Calum smiled and lowered his head to the ground as he tried not to blush. For some reason, you always had that effect on him. He had a cigarette and a glass with a drink in the same hand, while his other hand had been on your waist since the night began.

"You just don't know how beautiful you are..." You kept singing in his ear softly. "And baby that's my favorite part..." He looked at you and you had a wild smirk on your face. Calum really doesn't realize the effect on people (especially on you) that he had, he didn't understand how gorgeous he was. He looked at you while raising both of his eyebrows, giving you the 'oh, really?' teasing face that he makes way too often. You nodded at his questioned face with the most confident smirk.

The cigarette and weed smoke in the air made it all make even more sense. Calum smiled at you, he was so in love that was honestly so breathtaking. He sometimes had to gasp for air whenever he was with you. And he loved it, he loved the fact you were his oxygen.

You guys kept singing the lyrics to each other. Calum took a drag on his cigarette and blew the smoke out of his mouth between the two of you, practically in your face. It was something that for some reason you enjoyed too much. You found it hot and you were not ashamed of it.

Once the song came to an end you smiled at each other and he put his hand on your jaw then leaned in and planted a kiss on your lips. A hot but calm kiss at the same time, which was the vibe of that moment. You felt his rings when he lowered his hand to your neck, you guys separated for a second and you admired the tattoos on his arm, loving each one of them and then breathed his cologne. God, you were feeling good.

The night continued for you two, always in that comforting and good vibe. You kept smiling at each other all night and really couldn't keep your hands off each other, always in need of contact.

Who could have told you that the next day, all of Twitter was going to be crazy about a video that someone had taken of you at the bar from last night. That video contained the exact moment you and Calum were singing to each other and then kissing at the end. The song sounds very clear in the background, making it a whole scene. At first it bothered you, but after watching the video, you really couldn't find a reason to be angry anymore. You two looked so good and it showed how wrapped around each other's fingers you were. You loved the look Calum had and also loved the stupid smile on your face. It was honestly a masterpiece.

[bittersweetchemistryhailey]

When you walk away | Calum Hood x reader

Where you and Calum broke up almost a year ago

but he doesn't seem like he's moving on

And you don't either, but you guys prefer to stay away from each other

Warning: just lenguage, nothing crazy.

Also, sorry if i have any grammatical error, english Is not my first lenguage

∘•···············•∘ʚ ♡ ɞ∘•················•∘

Pov Y/N

the seconds turned into minutes, and the minutes turned into hours.

I've been looking at the ceiling of my apartment for about an hour and a half just thinking about him and the moment i saw him today on the grocery store.

He didn't noticed me

Or maybe he did and he just decided to ignore me

Maybe IT was for the better

Maybe i was right when i didn't wanted.

_____________________________________________

"Please y/n just listen to me!"

He pleaded, his voice breaking

I was clearly getting into his nerves.

"No! you listen to me!"

"This Is not healthy anymore"

"you can't say you would give up on everything just for me! Are you fucking crazy?!"

"for you? Yeah"

"Calum, im serious!"

"im serious too!"

"no you are not!"

"because you are willing to throw everything you worked for away for some stupid girl you had the luck to date for some years"

I screamed.

A huge silence flooded the room

i looked down trying to avoid meeting his gaze

I knew how he was looking at me right now.

I've already known that look

And i hated it

I knew he had that look of dissapointment and sadness that i hated being the cause of.

"Fine."

He said breaking the silence with his voice shaky as i felt him walk around me grabbing some of his stuff.

"if that's how you want it to be"

I could feel the sadness and anger in his voice.

I knew he was too stubborn about how huge his love was for me

But i was more stubborn about me not being enough for him.

Because, he's literally a superstar, he gets to travel around the world, he is often stopped at sidewalks by random people to take a photo with him, he's talented, he's kind, he's pure.

And im just an awkward stupid girl in her twentys that just got the luck of match with him.

_____________________________________________

I looked at my side at the bedside table

The sight of my phone was tempting

But i turned around and try my best to forgot it

To forget him

_____________________________________________

Pov: Calum

I was sitting on my studio with my bass on my lap

Trying to make... I don't know

Just something

But nothing came to my mind.

My mind kept wondering towards that moment i saw her again in the grocery store.

I couldn't get the guts to go to talk to her so instead i just admired her from afar

I would be lying if i say i won't be willing to do anything to have her back in my arms, that i wouldn't tore my heart out and give it to her if she needs it or just wants it.

If i had the guts

I would beg her to let me love her.

To prove her that she's worth of my love

To prove her that there's nothing wrong with her.

That if i wanted someone else i would've already picked someone else

But i choosed her

And i would keep choosing her

And i would choose her till the day i die

I looked at my phone and without thinking i took it, opening the contact list and pressed on her contact.

I waited her for answer.

And when i heared a "Hello?" By the other side i instantly hang up.

What was i doing?!

I should've have thought about that better

She probably has someone.

She probably moved on

She probably doesn't love me anymore

And i should do the same too.

_____________________________________________

Nevermind.

That same night i was on one of the many parties Ashton would host at his place, i needed a distraction.

I was having a drink on a corner

Im not usually like this, but i needed to take a break.

Suddenly, my whole body tensed when i saw her walk by that door.

I don't have even words to discribe her, she looked like a goddess

I don't know if it was the adrenaline of the moment, the alcohol running through my veins or both.

But i found the guts i needed to finally talk to her.

"So you don't say "Hi" anymore?"

She turned around to look at me.

Her eyes widened like if she wasn't expecting me to be there

At the party of one of my best friends

Silly.

"Cat got your tongue?"

I needed to hear her voice

At least just one last time

"sorry-

I-

Hi.."

I felt my heart being shooted with one of those cupid arrows just like the first time i saw her.

I missed her voice so much

I just wanted to hug her and never let her go again.

"Fancy seein' you here"

I Said casually

"yeah.. a friend forced me to"

She chuckled

"so, how Is it been? We didn't saw each other for like..

What? A year?"

11 months, 4 days, 7 hours, and 27.. 26.. 25.. seconds

But who cares?

"yeah.. about a year"

She answered

_____________________________________________

The hours passed by

And we catched up with the new stuff in our lives.

The connection was still there.

The chemisty never went away.

But i wasn't going to say that

Because i was sure she was feeling it too.

We had a couple drinks and as we were a little bit tipsy we were just laughing about everything

Our emotions being at the edge, one false step and any of us could ruin everything.

_____________________________________________

Pov Y/N:

I usually get emotional when im drunk

This time wasn't the exception but i tried to control it, just for tonight to try not to make Calum feel uncomfortable.

He never saw me drunk, and i prefered it stayed that way

But a question flooded my mind

Did he had someone right now?

Was he seeing someone?

did he moved on..?

"are you with someone right now?"

The question slipping out of my lips interrumping him

When i realized i looked away

"sorry for interrupt you-

I didn't meant to, keep talking"

I said trying to avoid the topic i just bring on

"no, it's okay"

He answered

"no, im not seeing anyone"

"what about you?"

"me neither"

A silence flooded between us two

We knew we were thinking the same thing.

We just didn't wanted to bring a topic that hurted so much.

"so, how's your music going?"

I took a sip of my drink trying to make the air less tense.

"good, good, we're making a new album, we are making it kind of rock style this time."

"You're gonna love it"

He knew how much i love pop rock type of songs

I smiled kindly at him as a positive answer

_____________________________________________

The seconds turned into minutes and the minutes turned into hours

Neither of you wanted to go away.

We just wanted to keep talking but the people started to leave and the music started to go lower.

"it's getting late, i think i should get going"

"my friend already left"

Y/N said standing up from her chair as she chuckled

"it was nice to see you Calum"

"nice to see you too Y/N"

He watched her say bye to Ashton and the rest of the boys before heading towards the front door

Something inside Calum was telling him to stop her

To tell her everything that has been on his mind that whole night.

To tell her everything he didn't said that night.

When he saw the door closing his body reacted faster than his mind.

He almost runned towards the door

When he went out of Ashton's place

He found her with her hand calling an Uber

Without thinking he took her phone out of her hand

"what are you doing?!"

"we need to talk"

"huh..?"

"we can't keep pretending like there's not a big elephant in the room"

"Calum, im not in the mood"

"forget what i said.

i"m not asking you to tell me anything. Just listen to me"

"I have this huge knot in my throat, i just want to get rid of it"

Y/N stayed in silence waiting for him to talk

"I- Y/N- I-..."

"oh, fuck."

He realized something he have been denying since you two broke up.

"i still love you"

"i still fucking love you"

"and i regret so much not keep insisting in stay with you"

"i just-"

His voice breaks

"I was so mad at the fact that you didn't believed that i was willing to do anything for you that i got frustrated and left"

"im so sorry, you don't know how much i regret not turning back and hug you to try to talk about it"

"i know you hate hearing cheesy stuff but fuck it,

i would be able to let you cut me open and take my heart

So maybe we'll never be apart"

"I would be able to do the craziest shit for you"

"Not for anyone else."

"FOR YOU"

"for you, Y/N"

"i wish i could fix everything but clearly you don't love me anymore"

"who said that??"

You said interrumping him.

He haven't noticed your expression.

You were containing your tears trying to keep yourself calm.

"who- who said i didn't loved you anymore..?"

You took a little step closer

"i just-"

You took a deep breath

"you are too much for me"

"you are really way out of my league"

"what are you talking about, Y/N?"

He said taking your hands in his"

"in that case you would be too much for me"

"you are the sweetest, smartest and most beautiful person i know"

"i want to be forever by your side"

He said now cupping your cheeks but you looked down and shaked your head as you couldn't stop the tears from escaping out of your eyes.

"Calum, you don't understand"

"you are wanted by millions of people"

"you are talented, you are kind, you are fucking literally perfect"

"and im just one of your stupid Co-workers who had the luck that you got interested in me"

"the point Is"

"we are completely different people, with completely different lifes."

"but isn't that what makes us unique?"

Calum said trying to cheer you up, trying to make you give in and go back home into his arms.

"Please Y/N.. the last thing i want is watching you walk away again"

"please.. Let me love you, Let me be your End Game"

Suddenly you hugged him and burst down into tears.

He hugged you back without hestitation

"It's okay.. it's okay.. im not leaving, but please don't leave either"

You pulled away sightly enough to look up at him

"never..."

∘•···············•∘ʚ ♡ ɞ∘•················•∘

HIYAAA well, this was my first fic, hope you guys liked it

Im sorry again if there's some grammatical errors, english Is not my first lenguage but i tried my best.

Let me know if you guys have some ideas of which member or topic should i write about

Thanks for reading<3 (stream botd and boy!!)