#can u believe i went almost 4 years without rereading it? to think - if i hadnt wanted to practice french i might have gotten over it

[mothmage]

Dear Chabouillet,

Is it gay to be so obsessed with a man that you recognize him by the strength of his shoulders alone?

Asking for a friend.

Sincerely, Javert.

[tomhardysteeth]

u wanna say anything for spn ending? Today's their last day of filming

Yeah sure! I love how you worded this ask, it makes me want to give a very serious answer. I’ve been rewatching random episodes the past few days and thinking about how much of my life was shaped by this random lil tv show, both positively and negatively, so here we go. 

I started watching Supernatural during my junior year of college, when I was grappling with being gay and religious, and had a pseudo-girlfriend who was emotionally abusive. I remember I started watching the show because I had been on tumblr for a while and thought, well this is a popular show on tumblr and looks like something I’d enjoy, so I might as well try it. I remember barely paying attention to the first season and thinking it was kind of silly, and I distinctly remember making fun of it right up until the season 1 finale when that truck slammed into the Impala and I said oh.

I remember sitting in the dining hall between classes, hiding in a corner with my pink headphones and my laptop, watching one episode after the other, completely consumed by it. My personal life was a mess at the time and I was angry and sad and frustrated, but I could forget about everything for a little while when I watched spn. I remember falling in love with Dean Winchester, season 3, when Sam gave him the amulet. 

Because I had already spent a lot of time on tumblr, I knew about Castiel. I couldn’t wait to get to season 4, the anticipation killed me. I didn’t really have a choice in shipping destiel, I literally shipped it before I even watched a single episode of the show lol. My first time watching seasons 4 and 5, I remember how mad I would feel every time the opening credits scrolled at the bottom of the screen and Misha Collins wasn’t listed. I cared about almost nothing but Dean and Cas interacting with each other. I was totally enamored by them, by their potential. At some point I got over that and watched the show because I liked the show, but boy did my heart and brain break for destiel. 

I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. I started coming out to more people, including people involved in the Christian campus ministry I was heavily involved in, and it was very very hard. It was 2013. The first episode of Supernatural I watched live was the episode where Dean turns into a fucking dog. 

I don’t remember when I started reading fanfic, and I had no idea how to read fanfic. A friend invited me to ao3, what is ao3? I didn’t know. I used my email address as my username. I read Twist and Shout and Pie Without Plot and other very popular fics that I knew about because everybody knew about them. I vividly remember the first fics I read because I was 21 years old and had never had an orgasm in my life and believed sex was sinful and so when the sex scenes in fics turned me on, I felt guilty about it. 

I quickly got over that and started writing explicit destiel fanfic. 

I still had no idea what I was doing. I know the very first fic I ever wrote was a mess, I’ve completely erased all traces of it, but other than that I began posting with abandon. Pretty much everything I’ve ever written for spn is still on tumblr and/or ao3. I was running a Hannibal blog at the time and started posting more Supernatural content than Hannibal content, so I created a sideblog, @deancasheadcanons​, and things very quickly got out of hand after that.

I was depressed, I was confused, I was spending my last couple years of college trying to figure out my sexuality, trying to hold onto a religion that was rejecting who I was becoming, trying to find my identity while picking a career path and being sad and being pulled in a hundred different directions. Sometimes I was working three jobs at once, on top of 17-credit-hour semesters. I was getting a degree in a field I did not care about, and I spent every class reading and writing fanfic, scrolling through tumblr, making internet friends, letting my life be consumed by Supernatural. I projected myself completely onto Dean Winchester and partially onto Castiel and did not even realize it. 

I started dressing like Dean, and my sister and brother-in-law noticed and assumed I was gay. They were extremely unsubtle in their attempts at getting me to come out by pointing out the flannel and army jackets, and I did not have it in me to admit to them that I was dressing like a fictional character, but I DID tell them I was bisexual. 

I went to therapy every week during my senior year of college, and I was embarrassed about how often I talked about my “internet life,” as I called it. I remember having the arbitrary goal of getting 1,000 kudos on a fanfic, and I remember the day it happened for the first time and I remember going to therapy that week and saying that I didn’t feel any different, that I thought getting attention for my writing would make me feel better, somehow, but I still felt the same, and my therapist asked me if I would still be writing if I was the only one who got anything out of it and I said yes. But I was still obsessed with writing things that were meaningful, and despite the fact that I would receive 10 negative/mean anons per day, I never turned anon off because I desperately wanted people to tell me that my writing meant something to them, that it mattered to them. I was fighting with myself every day over my sexuality and my identity and my purpose, and I put all of that on the shoulders of Dean and Cas. 

There was also chubby!dean. I had lived my entire life with this inexplicable thing, this shame that I knew I could not share, that I knew I would just have to suffer with for my whole life, and then I joined the spn fandom and found that there were others like me, others that had a fetish and had similar experiences as I did and were drawn to Dean Winchester because there’s no other character that could make eating and gaining weight be as enticing as he makes it (in fanfic). For the first time in my life I had a community of people that I could relate to about a thing that I never thought I would ever be able to talk about with anyone in my life. I don’t remember if I consciously chose to start posting publicly about it, but at some point I did, and I started writing kink fic, but I was still so uncomfortable with myself and so scared of the things I felt, and I tried so hard to temper myself and not offend anyone and not go “too far” and not be too weird and I was so sexually repressed and pent up and full of guilt and shame, and so now when I go back and reread some of the stuff I wrote it feels like reopening an old wound and letting myself bleed out. 

I was constantly comparing myself to others and wondering why I wasn’t getting as much attention as so-and-so, and I always made excuses about how maybe my writing was too weird and I was too much and maybe I just wasn’t good enough and I hated myself and wanted to delete everything I ever wrote, but also I’m awesome and receive a lot of attention and get a lot of good feedback but maybe that means I’m just a narcissist! I acted like an asshole online and justified it by saying it wasn’t really me, that I could be someone totally different on tumblr than the person I was in “real life,” but in hindsight, now when I think back on my early 20s, I cannot separate what I was doing in “real life” from what I was doing in the spn fandom. I shared so much of myself with the spn fandom without even recognizing that that’s what I was doing. 

And I made mistakes, god I made mistakes, and I tried to be so careful about everything I said but I was also presenting a certain version of myself to the spn fandom so that people would like me (for instance: running a destiel blog and trying my best to hide the fact that I also ship wincest) and still I got in trouble constantly, and I grew bitter and mean because you can only receive the “when are you posting the next chapter?” comment so many times before you want to bang your head into a wall. I became defensive and unkind, afraid to check my inbox because it was a nightmare, and yet unable to turn off anon because, like I said, I desperately needed that feedback, I needed people to tell me that they felt what I felt, that they understood what I was writing and why I was writing it.

I expected Supernatural to give me everything I needed. I fantasized about Dean Winchester being canonically bisexual because I thought it would confirm something in me, that it would somehow make my life a little bit easier. I didn’t want to watch other shows that could maybe help me, I wanted Supernatural to do things for me that it had never promised and would never deliver, and it’s because I was defined by it for so many years. Now that I’m back on tumblr, I’ve been going back through some of my old posts on deancasheadcanons and it’s like reading a stranger’s words. Even so, I find myself telling people “I was deancasheadcanons” instead of “I ran a sideblog called deancasheadcanons” because it really was such a huge part of my identity. What’s wild is that every time I’ve tried to explain it to someone in real life, they just look at me like I’m not making any sense. 

It was easy to stop watching Supernatural. I didn’t have cable, and I had been driving to my dad and stepmom’s house each week and watching it on their tv after they had gone to bed. I was in a new relationship with a woman I nearly married, I was back in school for a new career, I was working full time and absolutely did not have time to continue writing fanfic as prolifically as I had done for so many years. I finally reached a breaking point in 2017 and haven’t watched any new episodes since then (I don’t remember the last episode I saw). But now, as I rewatch some old episodes, it is easy to feel the way I felt the first time I watched the show. It’s easy to see why this campy little heartfelt show was a lifeline during my formative adult years.

So it turns out I have never reckoned with any of this, have never written it down, hence the 2k jumble of words you see here. And it’s like, I know that a lot of this may seem silly, trivial, especially for a show that in itself is not very serious, but as it comes to an end I have to reflect on it as a person who put so much of my heart, my creativity, my pain and my floundering identity into it. I am somewhat embarrassed and wish I could respond to this ask with a joke instead, but we’re in a pandemic and I live alone and have had way too much time to think and reflect and become a lot more self-aware, and part of that reflection has definitely been about my time in the spn fandom. I remember thinking the show was never going to end, yet here we are at the end and I felt compelled to type all this out with a desire to, I don’t know, get some closure? Convince myself that I was a whole person, that I wasn’t just a faceless URL posting destiel fics into the void, that my real life was not at all disparate from the time I spent online? In any case, I’ll always think fondly of the time I devoted to Supernatural, and I’ll take the good and the bad and everything in between. Thanks for the nice ask, anon, apparently I needed to get some things off my chest.  

[splendidshinobi]

FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST 2003 LIVE REACT: EPISODES 1-5

So i am gonna watch fullmetal alchemist 03 and react to it for my own fun. i did see 03 first wayyyy before brotherhood, but it was only like 3 episodes with my older sister back in like 2007, so it’s been a really long time and thats like 48 unwatched episodes. i’ve just been kinda curious because i hear people hate it and i hear people love it. so yeah lets gooooo

episode 1: those who challenge the sun

ok here we go

what the FUCK HAT is mustang wearing why is he outside in the rain st the elrics’ house during the transmutation

ed is anakin skywalker confirmed

is it just me or do maxey whitehead and aaron dismuke sound almost the exact same...

i have just been informed by google that whitehead used the same bowl dismuke did to record the lines veerrry interesting

a wine fountain i see i see

oh hey lust you here baby girl what is upppp

the pink hair works for rose the original born again christian e girl

for the most part so far this liore episode is pretty close to the brotherhood liore episode 

“push your total cynicism on someone else” you tell him alphonse!!!!

the people from liore in brotherhood are a lot paler than the 03 counterparts i just noticed

the giant bird um ok

this kid’s goT AUTOMAIL WHAT??? /j

he still does the dramatic coat rip glad to see it very glad to see it

episode 2: body of the sanctioned

I FORGOT ABOUT THE OP IT SLAPS I LOVED IT WHEN I WAS TWELVE.

 “WRONG HOLY MAN” im gonna start saying this to evangelicals

AL’S DEEP VOICE ALL OF A SUDDEN “PLZ GIVE US THE STONE” 

wait a damn minute rose’s bf????? um SIR MR HOLY MAN SIR

IS IT THE BIRD? HE MADE THE BIRD INTO THE “BOYFRIEND”????? 

gluttony’s tummy noises same baby same

walking statues?? ok professor mcgonagall 

that wasnt in the book

the watch being the reason ed can do alchemy without a transmutation circle??? hahaha yeah ok think again bitch

the bell lmaooooooo

again thats not what happened in the book

lustttttttyyyy BABBBEEEEEEEE

ROSE TEHRE IS A BIRD BACK THERE

ITS GOTTA BE THE BIRD

IT. WAS. THE. BIRD.

rose baby its ok

oh multiple birds into one big birdy

im gonna make a meme out of that

this is kinda scary 

rose askin about trisha maam mind ur business

i like the original broadcast better with ed in cornello’s office not in a dungeon

cornello’s running breathing sounds like me

ok quite a bit of this episode went off the source material but why??? like just to add stuff for the sake of adding stuff/drawing out the story to give the manga more time? i’d be interested to know

shut up rose plz i get it but stop

ope hey envy wassup

episode 3: mother

BABY DEN MY HEART

what are they makin

oh creepy....damn winry i wouldve been freaked too

damn this is a never skip opening im boPPING

DAMN YURIY AND SARA!!!!!! 

“when your dad gets back thank him” trisha maam are you just super optimistic or what??? maybe its just that i KNOW

WHY ARE YOU SO ANGRY AT DADDY LMAOOOOOO

oh fuck yuriy and sara were just here a second ago

EDWARD YOU ARE NOT GONNA MAKE YURIY AND SARA INTO HOMUNCULI GET A FILTER

9 and 10 years old?? didnt trisha die way earlier than that...hold up

yeah i googled it they were like 4 and 5

HOHENHEIM SENT LETTERS???????????????

bitch nah

“aunt pinako” AUNT??? AUNT NO NO NO SHE IS GRANNY PINAKO

RAINCOAT MUSTANG WHAT ARE YOU DOINGGGGG WHY ARE YOU HEREEEEEE WHAT ARE YOU WEARINGGGGG

ok but if raincoat mustang was RIGHT OUTSIDE how did ed and al make it to the rockbells’ house without him stopping them?? 

oh there he is how’d he get in the house

ohhhh so he was tracking hohenheim....still WHAT

roy doesnt live in central sir what u talkin about

“AL YOU’RE ON” WINRY HE ISNT A LAMP

wait was he sleeping? he cant do that

al offering to become the state alchemist? hmm

“you’re no good without me. you just turn into a jerk.” ALPHONSE ELRIC I-he’s right though

ope dont forget 3 oct 11

happy bday elric family house fire

episode 4: a forger’s love

finally an episode with original content/an episode i didn’t watch in 2007!

ok but travis willingham sounds SO YOUNG??

hohenheim’s so called letters are fucking me up i will say

this episode is giving me atla vibes but why

ED WHY R U EATING LIKE A HYENA

majhal ur SUS for some reason

ed my boy why are you drawing circles?

when is this taking place exactly? is this a flashback?

DON’T CALL AL A TRASH CAN 

in a graveyard....not a good look

ghoST LADY

what is majhal’s alchemy bracelet???

Lust were YOU the ghost lady?? damn

OH FUCK MAJHAL

OK I GOT IT its the puppetmaster episode of atla vibes im getting from this im YELLIN my brain is unparalleled 

OBVIOUSLY WITH THE MANNEQUINS HOLY HELL

BELOVED??????? FALLEN LOVE????

CREEP I KNEWWWWWWW YOU WERE SUS

THAT LADY???? WAS HIS GIRLFRIEND???? THIS WHOLE TIME?????

broooooooooo

ED DID YOU JUST STAB THIS GUY??? EDWARD

damn this is messed up his dying breath he still thought his girl was dead too poor karin...

seriously is this a flashback 

im confused when does this take place

episode 5: the man with the mechanical arm

ed on the phone im dead

ed just called him roy im shitting

WAIT TRAIN HEIST ARC??? TRAIN HEIST ARC YESSSSSS

ok so this episode and last episode is all PRE ed getting his state alchemist’s certification???

why...

does ed not get it until he’s like 15 in 03? 

FALMAN??????

HUGHES??????????

MIRACLE OF HORMONES????? 

falman is so snappy WHAT

i like how ed always takes the short comments way further than the original comment lmaoooo

stupid roy ilysm

anyways this train heist arc is a lil different idk

FALMAN IS KILLIN ME who even is he

hahahh aa the guy shot himself lmao

oh no not again what the hell

ED U STUPID

ok but why is hughes dressed like an absolute fucking pirate

i refuse to believe hughes is a good “train walker” 

hughes is not a smooth man

that being said he is a boss bitch

“something crazy up there” oh yes that’s my feral son edward

TURBULENCE???? ED THIS IS A TRAIN

i feel like i need to reread the train heist

im gonna reread it

WAIT WHAT ROY WHAT DID U DO

i need riza to shine baby girl do somethin

ooh flame alchemy

did roy just kill that guy

“remember the pain” roy stfu

HOW OLD ARE ED AND AL RIGHT NOW 

roy mustang is one shady bastard

thoughts so far: im actually enjoying it lol and im gonna continue reacting cause it was fun!!! im excited to see where they take it because the studio was definitely already adding their own stuff this early in the game for sure. 

[wigglywormy]

Kiribaku | Stupid Jeans [submission]

Just a quick Kiribaku tickle drabble because I’ll probably die when the scene where Bakugou laughs for the first time ever gets animated. It’s SFW so don’t worry! Lots of cursing though lmao. (Worm, you’re the super bestest tickle blogger I’ve ever met and you’re making my BNHA tickle fantasies come to life every day so thank you for that. I’ve been following your blog for like?? A year now? I keep deleting my blogs but I always read up on your posts whenever I have the chance. Also your writing really really inspires me!! I love you lots okay!!)

worm’s notes: AHHH DUDE THANK U SO MUCH FOR SUBMITTING THIS TO ME!!! it’s super cute holy shit ive reread it like 4 times i love it!!!!!!!! <333 if you ever write any more tickle fics please dont be afraid to submit ‘em to me, or link them to me if u post it! :D (and thank you omg, im so glad my writing can inspire you!)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stupid. Fucking. Jeans.

Bakugou stood in the middle of his dorm room, trying to pry off the skin-tight jeans that his pro-hero teacher forced him into the other day. He couldn’t get them off yesterday, so he gave up and just slept in them. But now the circulation was being cut off from his ankles, and he hated the feeling of the belt pressing against his middle. It pinched whenever he bent over or tried to move his legs at all, really. It made using his quirk far too difficult. He needed to get these things off. Frustrated, he growled as he tugged at the pant legs, which were seemingly stuck around his brawny thighs. He went from frustrated to infuriated, throwing his head back in anguish. 

“FUCK THIS!!” He shouted at the top of his lungs, stomping furiously into the floorboards. Alas, the pants felt like they were growing tighter. He couldn’t stand it. A wavering aura of sadism washed over his expression.

“I’ll burn these fuckers off before I even try to pull them off. I’m never wearing these again.” He grumbled angrily to himself, small pops of explosions crackling in the palms of his hands. Just when he was about to explode his actual leg off, there was a knock at his door.

“Get lost.” He barked, realizing how ridiculous he looked. Hunched over, with pants half-way down his legs, one hand sizzling in preparation for attack.  Of course, that was his usual way of greeting people at the door, so whomever it was, ignored his warning and walked in anyway. A bit to his relief, it was just Kirishima. 

“What are you yelling about now? I heard you all the way at the end of the hallway.” The red-haired boy said, kicking off his shoes and shutting the door behind him. Before Bakugou could reply, Kirishima caught sight of the other. The two had just started dating; probably a few months ago. Bakugou was used to him seeing him undressed, but this time, it was slightly more embarrassing. “Wh-?” Kirishima began to ask, before immediately bursting into a fit of rowdy laughter. He doubled over, howling. 

“What the heck?! You- You look so-!” He gasped for air between each bellow of laughter, causing his knees to grow weak. He leaned against the wall, clutching his stomach. “I can’t breathe!” 

Bakugou erupted into anger. Nothing pissed him off more than the sound of someone laughing at him. “Shut up!” He hissed. “Make yourself useful and help me get these things off.”

He struggled once more, beginning to rip at the seams desperately.  Catching his breath, Kirishima swiped a tear away from his eye. “Sure, sure. Just calm down, will ya?”

“I’M COMPLETELY CALM.” Bakugou screeched, his palms crackling a bit louder. Kirishima shielded his face, frowning slightly. 

“No, you’re not. Just relax. We’ll get these off of you, okay?”

Bakugou actually began to take a deep breath, before huffing it out exasperatingly. “Fine. Hurry up.” He looked back at the door. “And lock that door. If anyone sees this, I’ll have to murder them. And then murder you.”

Kirishima laughed at his feisty boyfriend, ensuring the door was locked before strolling back over to him, pointing to the bed. 

“Lay down. It’ll be easier if your legs aren’t bent or holding your weight up.” Grunting, Bakugou obliged. Kirishima took a hold of the jeans, more towards his lower calf, tugging with all of his might. But Bakugou came with him. He gripped the sheets to keep from sliding off of the mattress, grunting again. Kirishima expected him to start cursing him out, but it seemed he was actually willing to work together on this. Bakugou pulled his leg back, trying to at least slide his heel through the tight hole, but it didn’t work. He threw his head back into the pillow, huffing. 

“DAMMIT!” He punched the mattress. “I’M GONNA DESTROYYYY THESE JEANS!” His palms began to flare up, but his boyfriend took his hand gently. “Breathe, Katsuki. We got this.”

Bakugou took another shaky breath. It was rare Kirishima used his first name, but it at least proved to him that he was trying to be serious, despite how absurd the scene looked.

“Lets try again.” Bakugou muttered, guiding Kirishima’s hand to the top of the pants, which were still scrunched around his thighs. Kirishima blushed, looking away sheepishly. It’s not like he hasn’t been this close to him before; it just still made him nervous.

“O-Okay.” He hooked his fingers into the belt loops, tugging at them yet again.  “Pull harder!” Bakugou ordered, leaning back more, trying to slip his legs out the opposide direction. Kirishima put more oomph into it, but the belt loop snapped, and Kirishima stumbled back a little bit. Bakugou huffed again, sitting upright.  “Get the scissors.” He rasped through clenched teeth, digging his fingernails into the palms of his hands.

Kirishima rubbed the back of his neck. “Are you sure? I think Best Jeanist will be angry if he finds out you cut up his jeans.”

“Whatever. He can just make more.” Bakugou grumbled. “Like I care, anyway.” He glowered at the floor, hissing under his breath, “Why did it have to be skinny jeans?”

“Why don’t you try wiggling out of them?” Kirishima said suddenly, his face lighting up.

“I’ve tried everything!” Bakugou barked. “They’re not budging. I’m done with this shit.

“Wiggle more, then!”

“What?”

“C’mon, wiggle, like this,” Kirishima did a ridiculous jig with his legs. Bakugou only glared, his eyebrow twitching slightly. Kirishima sighed, placing his hands on his hips.

“I’ll help you.” He said, a teasing smirk lingering on his face. He reached down and pinched Bakugou’s hip. The blonde jerked back, his breath hitching in his throat. “Don’t.” He snarled, one hand gripping Kirishima’s wrist firmly. 

“Don’t what?” Kirishima grinned, pinching his hip again with his free hand. “Don’t tell me you’re ticklish.” 

A pause. “I’m not.” 

Kirishima only laughed. “You are! That’s perfect. That’ll get you out of these jeans in no time.” 

Bakugou scoffed, smoke seeping from his palms. “I will melt you into a puddle, Kirishima. Don’t fucking touch me.” 

“Too late!” Kirishima cooed, activating his hardening quirk, but leaving his hands soft, as he began to dig into Bakugou’s side. The blonde yelped, trying to kick him away, but with his legs stuck in those stupid jeans, he could hardly move. The ticklish sensation shot throughout his sides, and he squeezed his eyes shut, trying his best not to smile or laugh at all. He bit the inside of his cheek, tasting blood in a matter of seconds. 

“G-Get off of me!” He hollered, a grin tugging at his lips. Kirishima tickled up his sides, crawling underneath Bakugou’s arms. Bakugou snickered, trembling slightly. 

“But you have to wiggle, Katsuki. It’s the only way to get these jeans off!”  His damn teasing voice caused Bakugou’s face to turn red, a full smile on his face at this rate. 

“Stop-” He snickered again, “Not there-” Those last words were almost whispered, before he started cackling. “S-STOP!”

“But it’s working!” Kirishima pushed his boyfriend back onto the bed, drilling his thumbs into the hollows of Bakugou’s hips. The poor blonde began to laugh helplessly, still pushing at Kirishima’s shoulders. His body was much heavier while hardened, making it challenging to force him away. Bakugou was beyond pissed off, though you couldn’t tell with him laughing as hard as he was. 

“I-I’m gonna k-kill you-!�� Bakugou choked between laughs, kicking his legs again. To his surprise, he felt the jeans begin to slip off a little. He couldn’t believe this was working. 

“Your laugh is so cute, Katsuki. Why don’t you laugh more? It’ll help with your anger issues, I’m sure.”

“SHUT! UP!” Bakugou bellowed, his hands crackling as he shoved Kirishima’s shoulders again, without much avail. Kirishima scratched at Bakugou’s stomach as he watched the other struggle with amusement. “You’re ticklish everywhere, aren’t you?” 

Bakugou couldn’t even bring himself to retort. He curled his legs up into his chest, heaving with laughter. His laugh was raspy and loud, occasionally transitioning to a high-pitched chortle. Each helpless giggle squeezed Kirishima’s heart, but it only made him want to tickle him longer. Even if the jeans slide off, he wanted to hear his laugh until the end of time. As the two rolled and struggled, the jeans slid off a little more, inch by inch, until one leg finally popped free.

“Hey, look!” Kirishima beamed, but continued to tickle his boyfriend under his arms again. “It’s working!”

Bakugou pressed his foot against Kirishima’s hardened hip, thrusting as hard as he could. 

“I SAID STOP-!” He howled, melting into a pile of giggles for a split second, before returning to his regular, explosion-ridden fury. “K-KIRISHIMA!”  Kirishima laughed along with him. “I like your red underwear, by the way. Remind you of anyone?”

That was it. 

Bakugou sent a small blast into the air, scorching one of their posters right off of the wall. “CUT IT OUT! I CAN’T FUCKING BREATHE!”

Kirishima finally backed off, his hands in the air pensively. “Holy shit, babe.” He breathed, hoping the wall hadn’t caught on fire. Luckily, the only thing harmed was a bit of paint on the wall. And, well, his All Might poster, which was now smithereens on the carpet. “We’re gonna get in trouble for that.”

Bakugou shot up, still out of breath. “You’re the one tickling me, asshole!” Kirishima smiled. “Yeah, tell that to Mr. Aizawa when he inevitably asks about the commotion.” 

“I will!”

“You will not.”

“I WILL TOO, KIRISHIMA. SHUT THE FUCK UP.”

“So you’re gonna openly admit being ticklish to our teacher? Who will definitely add that to your hero database? Then everyone will know your secret weakness?”

Bakugou pressed the palms of his hands into his face, shouting into them.  “GET. OUT.” 

“Nah.” Kirishima brushed off some of the burned poster off his leg, yanking the other pant leg off of Bakugou. He tossed the jeans into the trash can, leaning back on the bed. 

“You’re welcome.” Kirishima chuckled, patting Bakugou’s leg. The blonde had finally calmed down, and was laying back on the mattress as well, his eyes closed. 

“I hate you. I hope you know that. I’m going to kill you in your sleep tonight.” He draped his arm across his face, before smiling just a tiny bit. 

“I love you too, Katsuki.” Kirishima replied after a moment. He curled up beneath Bakugou’s arm, humming contently. The two lay in silence for the rest of the evening, not even paying attention to the knocks at the door from neighboring dorm mates, wondering what the explosion and yelling was about. Bakugou was actually calm for once, but would never admit the reason being from releasing his stress through laughter. But at least the torment was over for now, and that’s all that mattered to him. Just as much as the boy under his arm mattered to him. 

[Thank you again for letting me submit this!! I hope you like it!!]

[park-loins]

I'm gonna go reread all your fanfics starting with Jammed. I'll report back later ✌ - the anon with too much time on their hands

I CAN’T BELIEVE U REALLY DID THAT wow drink some water stay hydrated buddy~

Asks 2-23 from ur adventure below the cut, and i think tumblr ate some but that does not shock me. 

2) Goddamn it Loins, I didn't even get the E.L James reference until I reread the first quarter of Jammed, goddamn it I didn't even know who E.L James was until now and I'm completely shook this is why I reread things ✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands (2/?)

o yeah Kim Taehyung’s novel absolutely KILLED the ‘bored with my marriage wine moms’ demographic

3) 😏😏😏✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands (3/?)

4) "author, sex god, part-time bee keeper" is my new Tinder description✌-The Anon with too much time on their hands

SHIT THAT’S SO GOOD THOUGH, i’d swipe right, hard right.

5) Yoooo, I can't believe that Jammed was your first BTS fanfiction, Loins. It was so good, and it was better the second time around! Okay, on to Reprise. I can't wait to weep at fuck'o'clock in the AM like the first time ✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands (5/?)

Ahhh thank u man! U know what I get really insecure about Jammed sometimes and I want to go back and change it, but it is what it is. And it got me publishing again! Which was the important thing. It felt so good to publish. 

6) Yoooo the notes on the first chapter of Reprise thooo. Damn, first time noticing that ✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands (6/?)

Oh me being a creepy child? Yeah I walked around the house calling “mommy, MOMMY” and mom was like ‘what’ and i was like ‘no, my REAL mommy,’ the proceeded to describe the death of my former family! i, for one, am surprised and grateful she did not ditch me on a deserted mountaintop. 

7) And people say smut can't be soft...but also...😏😏😏 ✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands (8/?)

aww u know what... i’m gonna have to write some soft stuff in the future... i haven’t gone super soft n sweet since then and i think i should. 

8) Yep, I'm getting emotions now. Thanks Loins, I needed those back. ✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands (10/?)

9) Okay but, my shuffle starting playing 'How to Save A Life' by The Fray the MINUTE I got to reading the last Scene in Reprise™, and I'm feeling quite attacked, tbh ✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands (11/?)

oommgmgmgmgmgmgmmggmg

10) Is it too soon to bring up the "Oh look, I've been impaled" meme? ✌ - The Anon with too much time on their hands (12/?)

YES IT CERTAINLY actually no u know what go for it, impaling is such a specific means of death u gotta take the shot when u have it. 

11) Okay, that's Reprise done. I've successfully got through it without crying this time, cause my family's asleep. Time to get into Inc. Don't worry since Inc. is really long, I won't bother you as much. I think you kinda hate me right now, spamming your already full inbox ✌ - The Anon with too much time on their hands (13/?)

I WAS REALLY ENJOYING GETTING THESE THO as i was like getting ready for work then throughout the day, it was so nice ilu 

12) I will, and forever always believe, that Inc. is, and forever will be, one of THE most quotable fanfictions of our generation. Thank you and good day ✌ - The Anon with too much time on their hands (14/?)

OKAY that means a lot, my family is SO big on quoting movies like that’s our sense of humor. In fact my sister has quoted inc. to me and then been like... hey what’s that from - cuz sometime we have so may references that we literally cant remember the origin- and i was like..... inc.

13) Me: *Reads the story of Murderers birth* Me "Wow, you could make a religion out of this" ✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands (15/?)

vmin at least made a HOLIDAY of it, that you can believe. 

14) Yoongi: "The only plant that's ever had the misfortune of being mine died long before it ever had a chance to tell it's tale of woe" Me: Wow, that sounds like somebody else I know...*looks into the camera like on the Office* ✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands (16/?)

....ok SURE fine whatever inc. yoongi is 87% me

15) Maybe Hazelnut will be our always? ✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands (17/?)

akdjlkjglkjhl

16) "I was very drunk, the photos where on Jimin's phone-..." Wait, wHaT!? See y'all, this👏is👏why👏re👏reading👏is👏 important 👏, I didn't even notice that the first time I read Inc., fucking hell. ✌ - The Anon with too much time on their hands (18/?)

o yeah o yeah i was planting those vmin seeds for YEARs

17) "Jin steps gingerly over Namjoon, who is face down on the floor, moaning miserably into an abandoned microphone" This scene is the main reason I wish that could draw good fanart ✌ - The Anon with too much time on their hands (19/?)

i almost think that bad fanart of this scene would be better

18) You know how there's a shirt floating around that has the entire script to the Bee Movie on the back? I want that, but instead of the Bee Movie, I just want the entire Inc. fanfiction. ✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands (20/?)

 as long as “assplay” the 17 times i use it is in a slightly bigger font than EVERything else

19) Wow. A lot of shit went down in 2012. And we getting to the angsty, metaphorical shit, cause what else are you gonna get from a Minverse™ fanfiction? ✌ - The Anon with too much time on their hands (22/?) 

i think i used 2012 as a reference year for crazy shit in paint too and i’m thinking about my 2012 and i’m like o yep. that’s why

20) Ah yes, the time when Loins decided to write a Christmas chapter in the dead of summertime. I ain't judging, anything for the story's sake ✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands 

CHRISTMAS is not a time of YEAR but a feeling in your HEArT, and also a great plot device

21) The first appearance Leash!Tae in Loins' ao3 fanfics. Honestly, what an amazing experience to read this again. I'm honored. ✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands (23/?)      

leash!tae was a lifechanging event in my real life and i’m just i’m so glad to insert it into my writing at any and every chance.

22) How dare you write some emotional-ass smut. Also I'm gonna stop sending these in after 30 so that I don't get your inbox so full 😗😙 I'm sure it's probably more than that cause I'm bad at tracking numbers, and I hope I got Anon on all of em.✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands (26/30) 

‘nasty but emotional.’ MY new tinder bio

23) Can I just tell you something Loins? I'm a bit tipsy now, so don't judge, but you are so genuinely talented, it's sickening. Like, you talk about how your not that good at writing, but you could probably out write half of the people that's been on the NY Times Best Seller List. And you have such a good personality to top it off. I gotta stop sending asks now, sorry to end so suddenly, just know that I really appreciate what you're doing. 💓💓✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands

aw my dude... ur gonna make me emo but the good kind the just too many good and grateful emotions kind of emo.... that really means a lot man, idk if i’ll ever pursue writing outside of a fic context, but it make me feel SO nice to think even for a second that i could. anyway!! thank u for making my day, this was such a nice little distraction on an otherwise dull and shit day, and thank u for being so sweet n supportive n i really appreciate you!!!!

[n-ph]

2k16

wow it’s been awhile since i’ve written one of these. i just realized that i totally didn’t write one last year. anyway i dont even know where to begin. 2016 has been an interesting year to say the least. i was rereading some of my old posts and i said omg a lot. the days just seem to go by in a blur nowadays, so i will try to recap 2016 as best as i can. i dont have a word to encompass this year though.

went to seattle in january. tried some really expensive sushi..twice..holy crap. the quality was a1 but man the bill was something else. seattle was nice though. definitely had a san francisco vibe to it, except for when you go to the waterside and look back at all the construction. i guess we kinda ran out of things to do bc on the last day we went to chinatown and the area seemed really dinky. also gained a ton of weight in seattle though u_u

in february we tried 5a5 steakhouse. and let me tell u. it is the best beef i have ever had. it is also the most money i have ever spent on a single meal. oh my god. i dont know if i'll ever be back, but i would like to, some day.

thus far, the semester was pretty okay. let's see..i had government accounting with a moody professor who would throw tantrums whenever no one participated. i also had business law with this old guy who was really lively and fun. i had strategic management with a bryan cranston look alike. the class was really interesting though and i learned a lot and it got me started on reading the economist lmao im so old. i miss having so much free time that came with school. 40 hour work weeks are not the life (even if i barely do anything at work).

went to LA during spring break. and at a good time too bc it was still the soft opening of harry potter world so the lines were v manageable. butterbeer was dope. the entire hogsmeade village just felt so real. had sooo much good food in LA omg. got to see some friends as well. had some of the best steak frites ever.

i cant believe i particpated in asu's talent show this year. much has changed in asu since i joined. it makes me wonder if i was behaving that way when i first joined. it seems a lot more clique-y and high school and drama filled but hey maybe it was that way when i was active but i just never noticed. had many fun lunches with my grand little but man there is a lot of drama in asu and im just glad i wasnt in any of it. i kinda miss the old asu days of staying out late to eat or do nothing at all but also i dont miss it bc i get enough sleep and im a lot more productive without asu lmao. finally ended things with tram for good. maybe things turned out the way they did for the better. the entire friendship was such a roller coaster. im glad its over.

the end of the semester rolled around!!! and i graduated!!!! :') attended my sisters graduation which was pretty boring bc high school students have such a narrow view of life (not to say that college students are any better). attended my own graduation. felt really fortunate to have jessa and anthony there. this one kid in my graudating class gave a speech about accomplishments...and he revealed the wrestling belt he was wearing underneath his graduation gown...and then he made the grads stand up and chant thank yous to the friends and family sitting behind us. it was so embarrassing and extra omg.

shortly after graduation i was on a plane headed back to the motherland. and let me tell u. i hated most of it. it was super hot and humid and my sister and i shared about 100 mosquito bites between the both of us. also. i know i shouldnt but..vietnam is so dirty. i know its not their fault that theyre a developing country but man there are exactly zero sanitation standards and i dont even know why we were there bc the water had recently been polluted so none of the fish were edible and my mom didnt trust the food stands to have clean food either. i guess i made some new friends and visited some cool places but at what cost??? also i think my entire fam got sick bc we slept with the ac on but either way, the meds i took made me lose my sense of smell i think and i couldnt taste or smell anything for two weeks. the ac air also dried out my nose and gave me a skin infection (which i will discuss later). during our trip to danang a small ferry got flipped on the big river and a bunch of ppl died and the government tried to cover it up bc bad publicity etc. they played it off as if only a few ppl died rather than most of the ppl on the boat. our tour guide in danang was in the know tho so he told us everything and w o w that really could've been us on that river bc it was a boat the left the dock about half an hour after our boat left. crazy.

after the long and arduous journey abroad i finally made it back home...and then headed to hawaii. hawaii was dope af. 10/10 would recommend, would go back. battled the tides when we went kayaking and sadly the tides won and i lost my hat but also almost lost my flip flops if it weren't for some kind random strangers who swam out to get my flip flops. we stayed on oahu and maui. hiked up a v steep mountain in oahu. lost my hat from kayaking. got caught in the rain when we went looking for a beach on the first day. had some of the best shaved ice ever. attended my first luau. fell asleep during the first part of a fire dancing show (bc the fire hadnt started yet). essentially pulled an all nighter to try oahu's famous bakery that opened at 3am. flew to maui but due to poor planning we arrived 4 hours earlier than check in lmao. the house we had in maui was so beautiful though omg. it was ocean side so we could hear the waves every night and it just felt so peaceful and tranquil to sit on the balcony in the mornings, just staring out at sea. in maui we went snorkeling. the last time i went snorkeling was like...10+ years ago...in cancun...and the water was freezing...and i also thought i was lost in the middle of the ocean on our way to the snorkeling location... but anyway! the snorkeling this time was so cool omg they had prescription swimming goggles so i could see EVERYTHING. they also provided lunch which was dope. it started raining on our way back to shore though lmao. the next day we drove all the way up the volcano in maui...to find that the top was foggy af and we couldnt see anything. the road up was pretty nasty bc super windy and 10000 ft elevation. it got really foggy after like 6000ft so we basically drove in all fog until the top which was still foggy but also like 20 degrees colder than the rest of maui. maui is super rural omg. we tried to find a place to eat after our trek but there were barely any food places in sight. we picked a random spot in the middle of nowhere and then decided to take the road to hana (which is on the opposite side of where we were staying, and was about 3 hrs away. and boy did we mess up. we took the alternate road there and it was scarier than going up the volcano bc 1) windy 2) small ass roads which were unpaved at certain points and 3) cliff hugging roads..i cant believe i made the drive there and back it was so terrifying omg. not sure if i would go back. at one point there was a big ass cow in the middle of the road. once we got to hana though, the hike was really nice despite the humidity. almost died crossing the river at the end to see the waterfall. all the rocks had big ants on them!!! how was i supposed to cross the river!!! we missed out on the wading pools though but we were so starving by that time. made the 3 hr drive back and everyone was dead. spent the last day on maui not doing much bc rainy and we were all so dead.

about two weeks after i got back from hawaii was training week in sac for my first big girl job. ngl but i felt super homesick that first night. idk why since i would be home by the end of the week anyway. probably just overwhelmed by how fast everything was happening. graduation and now transitioning into a full time job. scary stuff. but i did make a really good friend in sac so it didnt turn out so bad!!! training was pretty fun bc our presenter was pretty engaging. except when we went over the boring stuff and i was v close to falling asleep. did get to catch up with some of my sac friends though which was nice. went to the state fair for the first time as well. it was..exactly as expected but hotter lmao. my family went to san diego at this time bc my sister was going to comic con but i couldnt make it :(

got back from training and started my first big girl job. im not sure what i expected but it was easy but also hard? my first engagement i was only with one other senior and she was super nice and pretty and really good at lettering. i dont feel like i learned much? i only really did the tasks given to me but i feel like half the time i wasnt even sure what i was doing. i also hated the commute all the way back from walnut creek. the going there wasnt so bad bc i got a ride out to oakland but man it would take forever to get home. :'( my second engagement was just me and a partner and i feel like she expected me to know everything...but i didnt know anything...so i mostly sat around a lot??? esp bc she wasnt on site every day so i had zero supervision. :/ towards the end of the second engagement i got an email from the city saying that they were accepting me into their accounting position and i was like oh shit. i ended up taking the job, which gave me a week in between quitting the first job and starting the second, which i used to go back to LA lmao bc i had a season ticket to universal. actually ate at the three broomsticks this time. it was defs filling and i thought it was a good bang for buck. attempted to go to the walking dead tour..chickened out..twice. i probs would've died in there tbh. also went to disneyland!!!! that was lit. their macone-roni and cheese was da bomb. saw world of color for the first time except it was the 50th anniversary edition so it wasnt so great. bumped into the couple that was in jbieb's love yourself video. tried some new food places in LA and saw some old friends, again.

started my second big girl job. all my coworkers are super nice except the big boss is kind of crazy and anal. but we deal with it. my supervisor is so nice :'( work isnt so bad bc i dont do much lmao. the hardest part sometimes is just staying awake if im being honest. getting paid to do nothing is the life tho.

spent my birthday weekend in monterey. we were supposed to go atv-ing but ended up going wine tasting but also not really bc we liked the first wine so much we got a bottle of that to share. it was really cold that weekend surprisingly so we stayed in and then went to this spa place on a whim and it was definitely an interesting experience.

went as a rice bag for halloween and i think that was probably my greatest costume to date. except we ended up going to a party full of white ppl...and i was like the only asian there gdi

tagged along w my sister when she went to sd. got to see many friends!!! went clubbing as well and that was lit. took michelle clubbing for her 21st birthday, also lit. squadsgiving and christmas were super fun. got some supplies for bullet journaling so guess thatll be my new years resolution. but also to take more photos bc i didnt buy that camera for nothing.

okay so in conclusion. i did a lot of stuff this year. it feels like it was mostly all highs. or maybe i just block out the lows but im pretty sure there were way more highs than lows. 2016 was a great year tbh. oh yeah i also passed two of four parts of my cpa exam!!! woot. in 2016, i learned a lot...of accounting lmao. plus i ran my first 5k!!!!! oh yeah and i joined a gym and now im getting swole af. im not sure what my reflections are. i guess, if i were to compare 2k16 kim to 2k14 kim i've for sure come a long ways. i wasnt afraid to try new challenges and conquer them. i stepped out of my comfort zone multiple times, sometimes with the help of alcohol. i got my shit together and really focused in school (which got me a 4.0 during my last year of college). i also got my shit together and studied my ass off for the cpa (which is still ongoing i crey). i really wanna say this was probably one of my best years with everything i was able to do and everything i achieved. so here's to you, 2016, and may 2017 be even better!!!