Ibis Hotel, Canning Town. East London, August 2023.
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Day 2047, 30 January 2024
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I'm a cryptid in Stardew valley. I live on the outskirts of town. I disappear for days on end, purchasing daily one-way tickets to the calico desert. Nobody knows where I go while I'm there. Can occasionally be found fishing at random spots throughout town. I am never not running on at least one triple shot espresso. I take the abandoned minecarts to get around and am frequently seen disappearing into the sewers. I carry a sword for some reason. Once every week or two I will stride into your bedroom to deliver you your favorite meal. I'm a self-made millionaire. I attend all the town events and will go to your concert in the next town over. I have donated approximately 2583 items to the local museum and singlehandedly revitalized the town community center. There are rumors I can talk to junimos. I'm friends with the local wizard
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Human Bill Cipher
(Based on Alex Hirsch's "canon" design)
And just to be clear, writing dissertations at me justifying why he should instead be a conventionally attractive twink will involuntarily cause me to draw him with even fewer teeth.
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Jack Leslie.
Leslie was the first black footballer to be given an England national football team call up - way back in 1925.
He was selected as a non-travelling reserve.
His manager, "Bob Jack", told him he had been selected as a reserve for England against Ireland for an October 1925 Home Nations Championship game.
However, the invitation to be a reserve for his country was later withdrawn.
It has been speculated that this was because of belated objections to his skin colour by members of the FA who had been unaware of his ethnicity.
Later in life, Leslie told the journalist "Brian Woolnough":
"They must have forgot I was a coloured boy."
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I genuinely have a "hear me out" for Alex/Shane and have in fact told someone (who doesn't play SDV) and they said it was a pretty convincing argument so I think I'm onto something.
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Canning Town, East London, July 2023.
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