#cant i just drop out and become a full time internet homo IT WORKED FOR MY BUDDY DAN!!!!

[lesbaurinkos]

it should be illegal that i have to do things like "schoolwork" because "spring break is over" cant i just sit here and watch dan and phil be sillay and engage in the sacred art of Posting. do i really need a degree

[queerofcups]

Title: to learn how to quit Rating: E Word Count: 2484 Summary:  Dan’s not meant to be anything but a place to keep Phil warm, right now. Here, he just has to think about being good for Phil.

[read on Ao3]

The audience has been the third, (not-so) silent partner in their relationship since they met. Sometimes, it’s a blessing, forcing them to have conversations about boundaries and what they’re comfortable having public and private. Sometimes, it’s a pain in the ass, like when they’re in the middle of an argument while walking through London and someone wants a picture. There’s no telling how many pictures floating around the internet there are where Dan’s jaw is clenched a little tight, or a smile doesn’t reach all the way to Phil’s eyes.

And sometimes, the audience is the silent, third partner in their bed.

“Could you imagine it,” Phil asks, his throat buzzing against Dan’s lips. “Maybe you accidentally log in to younow while I’m fucking you? Or youtube fucks up an unprivates some really private videos?”

“We don’t have any sex footage uploaded to youtube,” Dan says, a little breathless. It makes sense, he’s been fucking Phil for almost twenty minutes at the agonizingly slow pace Phil set for them.

“Mm,” Phil says, rolling his hips a little. Dan whimpers, dropping his head to Phil’s shoulders. He’s eighty percent sure being hard for this long is going to permanently injure his dick. Of course, he’s sure of that every time Phil edges him like this. He’s not allowed to move any faster than Phil tells him, and he’s not allowed to come. He can talk all he wants, can touch whatever he wants and Phil can, and has, come as many times as he likes.

--              

They’ve been at it all morning. Phil had woken him up and sent him to wash up thoroughly, telling Dan he’d done the same before getting Dan up.

Dan had come out of the shower, squeaky clean all over, to Phil squeezing some lube into his hand and gesturing for Dan to come over. He’d stroked Dan to hardness, stopping every time Dan’s hips twitched forward. Dan recognized the pattern of this game, stopped moving and just let Phil touch him. When he was as hard as Phil wanted him to be, Phil had kissed his hips a few times, and his thighs, cheek brushing Dan’s cock. Dan bit his lip and stayed still.

“Good boy,” Phil murmured and climbed off the bed. “Color?”

“Green,” Dan answered dutifully.

Phil nodded and left the room, gesturing for Dan to follow him.

They’d gone to the kitchen, where Phil made himself a bowl of cereal. The kitchen floor was cold and Dan waited for whatever came next.

--

“We could,” Phil says lightly, resting his knee against Dan’s side and curling his body inward, his stomach bunching, searching.  Dan keeps thrusting evenly, beating away the urgency curling his toes. He’s got no way to tell how long Phil’s going to take, knows Phil likes testing and pushing himself just as much as he likes pushing Dan. Phil looks over at the camera set up that lives in a corner of Dan’s room when he’s not using it.

“We’ve got some pretty quality stuff. Could film a little video right now, and put it up private.”

Dan digs his teeth into Phil’s shoulder. Phil gasps then laughs. He’s tight around Dan and his fingers are warm, brushing up and down Dan’s side.

“We could! It’d probably be fine. But what if it didn’t. How would that turn out, eh,  No Homo Howell?”

Dan shudders, almost loses control. The thought of millions of people seeing him like this –fucking to whatever drumbeat Phil’s set, desperate to come but more desperate to do whatever Phil wants— makes him feel a lot of things; panic but also a lightning strike of pleasure at being exposed, unable to say anything but yes, my world spins on the axis of this man.

“You’re so pretty,” Phil coos, nudging at Dan to press onto his hands so Phil can look up at him. Dan’s been hard for what feels like hours, only allowed to come once, early in the beginning of the scene.

--

“This is your last chance,” Phil said, leaning against the kitchen counter. Dan is on his knees, mouth full of Phil’s cock. He’s not sucking, not moving, except the fist wrapped around his own dick, moving slow and tight. Right now, he’s anything but a place for Phil to keep his cock warm. Phil letting him touch himself is a gift, and Dan’s blissed out on it. Here, he doesn’t have to think about videos, or books, or tours. Here, he just has to think about being good for Phil: don’t come unless he tells you to, keep your mouth wide and soft for him.

“Faster,” Phil said, finishing his cereal and setting the bowl in the sink. Dan moves his hand faster. He knows Phil, knows he’s letting Dan come once, so it doesn’t become painful to be so hard for so long later. They’d tried doing this with Dan only coming once early in this part of their relationship and the orgasm was barely good with how much hurt when he finally came. Now, Phil, kind, generous Phil, lets him come once and then Dan can only hope he’s good enough to come again.

Dan closed his eyes and let himself feel: the weight of Phil on his tongue, the cold of the kitchen floor against his knees, his hand on his cock, pushing him towards orgasm. Phil dug his fingers into Dan’s hair, sank himself deeper into Dan’s mouth. Like this, it was easy. Phil wasn’t not hard yet, it was just a mimicry of what’s to come later.

“Faster,” Phil said. Dan sped his hand up, looks up at Phil, who’s staring down at him. Dan squeezed himself a little, felt too close. He closed his eyes, rested his forehead against Phil’s stomach. They were silent except the noises of Dan jerking himself off and breathing noisily through his noise.

“Hey,” Phil said affably, and tugged on Dan’s hair. Dan looks up at him, eyes watering a little. He’s so hard, hips canting up a little with it. Phil smiles at him sunnily. “Do you want to come?”

Dan nodded, careful of Phil’s cock in his mouth, moving his tongue gently against the underside of it.

“Go ahead. You’ve been good so far.”

Dan pumped his hips one, twice and moaned around Phil’s cock, which he felt perking up. He could feel come on his stomach, and a little on his thighs, and he suspected there was probably some on Phil’s shins as well. Phil pulled Dan off his cock by hair and crouched down to look Dan in the eye.

“That was really good, love,” Phil said, and kisses Dan, quick and soft. “That was your one for the day. You’ve got to earn the rest.”

--

“Get on your knees,” Phil says now. Dan pulls out, slow and careful and gets on his knees on the side of his bed. Even this is a power play. Good Dans get to sleep in Phil’s bed. Good Dans get to wake up to sleepy hair ruffling and kisses that turn into yawns. Right now, Dan gets to earn Good, lost Good when he and Phil decided today would be a good day to play. Phil sits up and leans down, pulling the condom off Dan’s cock and throwing it in the vicinity of his waste basket.

“You’ve been hard for a while, sweetheart,” Phil says, tapping Dan’s cock a few times. Dan’s hips rise to meet him and Phil backs off, laughing a little.  “Color?”

“Green,” Dan says through gritted teeth.

Phil tuts a little. “What was that, Danny?”

“Fucking, green,” Dan grinds out, raising his voice.

Phil laughs again. “Language! And just when I was thinking of letting you come. Guess we’ll add another half hour?”

“Yes, Phil,” Dan says, because that’s what he’s allowed to say. He can say no to options Phil gives him, he can always safeword if the scene gets too much, but he can’t say no to more time.

“We’ll do that then,” Phil says, reaching down to stroke Dan a few times, his hand firm and warm. He places his thumb just below the head of Dan’s dick, the place where he’s the most sensitive. “Another half hour for you, for language. But I’m about ready to come. Do I want you to blow me, Dan? Or maybe I want your ass. What do you think?”

Dan’s not sure he could stand not coming thirty more seconds if Phil fucks him, much less thirty minutes. He’s silent, though. It’s not his choice to make.

“Mm,” Phil lets go of his dick, rests his arm on his thigh and brushes his thumb across Dan’s mouth. “Yeah.”

That’s all the warning Dan gets as Phil wraps his hand around the back of Dan’s neck and grabs his dick with his other hand, feeding it to Dan’s open mouth.

Phil’s not big enough for Dan to choke on without some work, but he always feels overwhelming like this, arm wrapped around Dan’s head, hand pressing on Dan’s cheek.

“You’re really brilliant,” Phil says. “Lovely, wonderful little cockwarmer. Getting me so close.” Phil thrusts a few times, sighing. This is the moment when Dan always wonders if it’s actually possible to come just from blowing another person. Phil feels so good, getting used like this makes him feel so good. He’s big in Dan’s mouth, tasting like skin and precum, slick and hot. Blowing Phill never fails to take Dan down, deep into the parts of himself that just want to give over to someone else’s instruction.

“Get to it, then,” Phil says, leaning back to give Dan some space. Dan bobs his head a few times, getting used to Phil filling more of his mouth than before, then pulling back to suck at the head of Phil’s cock. Phil wasn’t lying, he is close, thrusting into Dan’s mouth. Dan sucks a moment longer, his own little rebellion, before giving Phil what he knows will get him there. He’s been doing this for years. He knows how to be good at this.

He shuffles closer, resting his arms on Phil’s thighs and taking Phil’s whole cock into his mouth, relaxing his throat. Phil taught him this, how to breathe through it, how to fight his own gag reflex.

Phil is babbling above him, pressing on Dan’s head to get him to go just a little deeper. “So pretty like this. Want to film you like this, put it on youtube and tumblr and twitter, want them to all know how pretty you are, how good for me.”

Dan whines, forcing his own hips to be still, pushing against Phil’s hand a little, just to feel Phil push him back down. They have a safeword of sorts for this too. If it’s too much, he can pinch Phil’s hip three times and Phil will stop. He doesn’t want Phil to stop, wants the saliva dripping down his chin onto Phil’s thighs, mixed with precum and Dan’s involuntary tears. He’s Phil’s pretty thing, to be treated however Phil wants to treat him.

Phil thrusts go erratic and he groans low, fingers clutching in Dan’s hair. He comes quietly, jerking forward, come skating across Dan’s tongue. Dan swallows valiantly, getting most of it. Phil lets his head go and he comes up, gasping.

“You’re so good,” Phil says, flopping back onto the bed. “Always so good. Put another condom on.”

Dan pulls one from the pack, slips it on as Phil catches his breath. He looks up at Phil when he’s ready, catching sight of Phil dropping the lube back onto the bed, a few fingers pressed into himself to get stretched back out. Dan watches, calming down, until Phil grins at him and slips off the bed. It’s an awkward position; Phil’s back pressed against the side of the bed, his knees bunched up against his chest, Dan’s arms resting on the bed bracketing his head. But it puts his hole even with Dan’s cock and, at Phil’s nod, Dan pushes in, just as careful as before. This is Phil’s second favorite thing, being fucked while he’s still sensitive from coming. He lets out these high, full breathed noises every time Dan pushes back in.

“You want to come, sweetheart?” Phil asks. Dan nods.

“Spoiled.” Phil says, grinning. “It hasn’t been ten minutes, much less thirty.”

“Please,” Dan says immediately. He’s well trained and knows Phil’s a soft hand after he’s come, easy and delighted to be begged. “Please, Phil, can I come?”

“Mm,” Phil says, eyes slipping closed. Dan’s hips jerk and Phil hisses a little. “Faster.”

They feel crowded together like this, pressed against the side of Dan’s bed. Dan’s filthy, the remnants of his come from earlier, lube, sweat and spit making his skin sticky. Phil tells him faster three more times, until he’s certain he can’t keep up, not certain he can keep from coming.

“Phil, Phil, please,” Dan’s crying a little again, sensitive and dying for it. He crowds a little closer, almost certain he hears the bed move. His hips burn and shoulders burn, he’s certain he can’t get any harder.

Phil reaches up to pull Dan’s head back by his hair, pain prickling sharp and bright across his scalp. “Come, then.”

Dan’s second orgasm of the day hits him like a goddamn train. His hips stutter as he presses his head into Phil’s neck. Distantly, he knows he’s thanking Phil over and over again, stopping and starting with his breath. Phil pets him through it, calling him good and sweet and so obedient.

It takes a moment before he comes back to himself. Phil gets off him carefully, pulls the condom off.

“Shit,” Dan says, breathless, toppling over to sit. “Can I lay down?”

“Nope,” Phil says, stretching his arms high. Dan can hear his spine pop from across the room. “Come on, aftercare time. Shower.”

A while later, Dan is standing under the shower spray. Before, Phil’d been in the shower with him, washing him off and dropping kisses across his shoulders and collarbones and checking in; making sure the scene was good with Dan, easing him out of the needy pliancy of his subspace. Now, he’s sitting on the bathroom counter, a towel around his waist, one on his hair. Dan can’t wait to see what he does with the third one.

“You do know,” Dan says over the shower, “That the majority of our viewers are underage girls.” He knows Phil knows, just needs to clear the air for his own peace of mind.

“I do,” Phil says lightly. “It’s a good thing we all know the difference between dirty talk and actual reality, isn’t it?”

Dan grins and turns to wash his face.

Their audience is the third, silent, platonic partner in their relationship. They don’t need to know everything.