#cant rlly decide if im happy w this or not i was STRUGGLING w his face

[saintobio]

Hi Ai! SN asks are one of the things I love reading here on tumblr everyone having their own theories so creative. At this point I really think MC knowing what Gojo did to Sera and might got her damn pregnant will be the last blow on her😭

on god it will be 😭 and speaking of theories, i shall compile them all under here <33 i hope u don’t mind

@fusheeguro said

Ok ik i said i wanted gojo and y/n to be endgame, and strangely i was happy reading this bc gojo finally got his ass denied?? and despite knowing that home girl has a life threatening disease and could die??? I SWEAR I AM NOT A WEIRDO!! this chapter just made sense!! i was soooo satisfied with the way things were handled. also, the way i see our home girl becoming a noble fashion designer? like yes y/n, chase yo dreams!! make them clothes for all the zen’in teens. get your paper. don’t let that booty ass crusty ass hoe hold you down!! (p.s. i sent that y/n gojo endgame ask b4 i read chap 8 and by the time i was done writing and ready to send it YOU UPDATED LANSJWBSHS I AM NOT A GOJO APOLOGIST NOR SIMP)

also can i just take a second to say SLAYYY SLAYYYYYY AI. YOUR WRITING JUST BUILT DIFF. YOU KNOW SHE’S A GOOD WRITER WHEN SHE MAKES YOUR FEEL SUMN! THIS SHIT IS SOME GOOD BIRD FOOD FOR MY PIGEON ASS!! but dw i am a delivery pigeon who knows how to drop off mail and i am omw to tell my notes how satisfied i am with chapter 9 🚪✨

Anonymous said

first off would like to tell u that this fic is so captivating and i lit binge read the first five and could not wait for the other chapters to release

like although all the main characters (sera gojo and yn) have something to hate abt them they’re really well developed and idk how u keep up with writing this without being slightly biased or annoyed 😭

and honestly the chap 8 ended in such a cliffhanger and i couldn’t wait for this next chapter

chap 9 was honestly so good but the only thing that made me meh was yn getting a heart condition (b/c i really don’t want this to be the cliche im abt to die and u j confessed ur love type thing if that makes sense)

but other than that thank u so much for everything and i am looking forward to the rest of the series!!!

(btw j wanna shout out ur chapter five cause i genuinely think it’s a masterpiece… it really hyped 😭)

@t2iara said

HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK

so we were the one who said 'u qanna make it up to me, u hv to do it for the rest of your life ' OMGDJJG AND GOJOU WAS THE ONE WHO SAID 'you're not valuable wnough to ruin my life' TO SERA AHHAHA CHILLS, sera is so inconsiderate.. shawty its ok to imagine what you would look like with a baby bump😢 just dont regret it when i take you to court😠😠 obviously you have some brain problems if you think you're still the victim here. mc is literally bound to die but its ok you didnt know😀 i hope u still don't think im faking my heart problems for attention!!1!!1!1 FSCKING BITAKDH i will let you know your place next time hahahah yk you cant be in the sidelines forever because one day satoru is gonna wake up and decide that oh im gonna end things w my mistress today because i need to make things right😯 then you'll experience more struggles in your life and maybe MAYBE thatll change your mindset and i hope you change for the better and realize that you just need to "let things be" 🤰🏌 lol

pointing fingers at us wont do you any good💔💔 affsdsd sera probably thinks that if she gets pregnant by gojous baby then he has to divorce us and marry her instead because mostly in shows thats how it works.. as if satoru will divorce us lol he doesnt have the balls to do it💓 toji toji i love you thx for the small talk😭 looking forward for our meetings w the zen'ins !!!! <3 HAHA MIWA HEY HEYYY👋👋👋 i rlly hope she wont be a problem here (like being a second mistress SORRY) because doesnt she like gojou in the anime and shes gojous type when utahime asked him😳😳 and omg i didnt even notice that gjou didnt ask us if we want a baby bc i was focused on the smut ajsjjsjs, the ring🤩 first step if we're gonna ignore satoru bc last chapter our ring was the reason why y/n considered going after his ring in the ocean. thanks for the sera going home pov💗💗 i rem you included asking us if we want to see her pov going home in my last ask💗💗

@honouredsatoru said

i am still on a hiatus but i come back every friday just to catch up with your series. its so beautifully, painfully, frustratingl written and it gets my soul all riled up whenever y/n is being mistreated bcs she doesnt deserve this. but as a fellow writer, i know you have it planned and only the best for her.

sincerely, not started out as a typical series for me but i think i can confidently say that i am emotionall, mentally and spiritually attached to this series. thank you so much for working so damn hard. do take good care of yourself and please dont mind the negative messages, we all love you <3

also something for cuntjo 😌 may your coffee taste absolutely bitter with loads of coffee grounds still in it, maybe your socks get ripped out. may your presentation slides suddenly stopped whilst attending a crucial meeting, may your airpods break by the 2nd night you bought them. to y/n, you're doing great sweetheart! i love youuu.

Anonymous said

hi!!! amazing chapter once more!!!! i love this fic w all my heart it's beyond amazing. also i have a thought??? lol but idk if you've ever mentioned it bc i have poor memory but did gojo and sera get together before or after sera got the job at gojo's company??? bc like i feel like to a certain extent, being at the company and having strong ties w a person in power is kinda feeding into sera's little fantasy about having a rich life. granted, i do empathize w her on her family life because no one ever deserves to have to struggle so much just to have a barely livable lifestyle. however, the more she's involved in the business and family things, the more she's submerged into this little delusion that all rich people are blessed w no problems (again not always 100% true and has a lot of nuance but at least rich ppl don't rlly have to work EXTREMELY extremely hard to live a comfortable lifestyle). like the fact that sera believes that y/n can't have any problems and issues bc everything has been handed to her on a silver platter and disregards everything y/n went through. and she's been always disregarding gojo's past and trauma. it's like she doesn't want that "rich image and lifestyle" to be tainted. idk if i'm making sense since english is not my first language. i'm not rlly good w words and theories. but hopefully u understood what i said. that again, i thoroughly enjoyed this chapter and all other chapters!!! will be continuously reading it until the next one comes heheheeh <33333

Anonymous said

Hello Ai! This is my first time asking something through here so I'm a bit nervous😭but feel free to ignore this since i know that you have 300+ more ask and your probably busy! :)

Anyways, before I carry on I'd like to say how much I love your writing, its ✨MUaH✨ chefs kiss😩✋

Your story's with angst are all always top tier💕 so keep at it! You're doing great

Anyways to stop my heart from hurting through all the angst I've been reading on your Sn story(especially chapter 8/9). I had this silly headcanon that came into mind when I read someone's ask about y/n and satoru's kid 'sachiro' (or sum like that I can't remember) and I'd like to know what your interpretation would be like(as the writer/author) if y/n ended re-marrying toji(in the whole co-parenting thing), and how he would be as a step-dad towards sachiro.

[So yes step daddy toji in the house yall😩]

I personally think Satoru's pettiness levels would be extremely high since y/n married his rival company and be low-key jealous of how close he is to sachiro///

(again this is totally dumb thing that came into my mind when the whole 'co-parenting' ask appeared and I totally need something to ease the pain rn 😭lookey cryin with the homies rn and sera you better be sleeping with an eye open cuz theses anons are ready to throw hands///me included)

Anonymous said

Wow just wow 😳 Did not expect that ?? But like I’m glad ?!!?? It took a heart condition for mc to cut hoejo out of her life ?? Also I desperately want mc’s dad and sis to know everything and I mean everything sera and slutoru did too her( hope they destroy his company )

Why do so many want mc and hoejo to get together in the end ? That makes no sense to me ? Like how do you get past that, the pain and trauma and cheating? How can you trust ? Also I don’t believe he’s in love with her. Love is a actions , not words. If he loved her he’d give the divorce papers with a generous gift or something. He’s still so selfish plus I think he only really likes her coz of how much she does for him ? He likes how she keeps the house tidy, how she comforts him,how she takes care of his nightmares, how she’s so sweet and submissive for him? How she helps with his image and status? They’re all so superficial. Like what is 10yrs down the line he likes his sweet secretary who’s had similar trauma (to him) who just seems to understand him yadda yadda. He knows nothing about mc, he doesn’t know her quirks doesn’t care about her sketches or passions ?, her grief with her moms death,her friends etc? Those things could have been done on the side abs subtly. I just don’t believe he loves her at all, it’s basically him losing his second mommy. I don’t know why anyone hasn’t said this yet but mc needs to settle down with firefighter best boy yuuji itadori. The only one who’d treat her well. Ik people are rooting for Toji but he loves his wife still, don’t want to stomp on that, it feels more mentor/ mentee relationship anyway

Ending this by fangirling over how goood of a writer you are. I am in awe. Plus the suspense , I randomly think about what’s going happen next Friday or I’ll just get a bout of anger thinking about hoejo while furiously eating yougurt.

Thank you for this amazing series

-🍱

@dora-the-grownup said

HEHEHEHEHE YALL HEAR THAT?? TOJIS VOICE THRU YNS PHONE SPARKED ELECTRICITYYYYYYYYYY 😆⚡️🦋💘💖✨ #mrszenin #tojicalledusmrszenin #zeninclan #WEREMEETINGMEGUMI shejkskmdmdmdnfm sir i am in love w u

for the baby’s sake, i hope sera isn’t pregnant. i rlly dont vibe with sera like,, she’s kinda immature,, and she’s lowkey materialistic?? idealistic?? that’s her downfall rlly. plus she’s so self centered like bae </3 the world doesn’t revolve around u 😭 if she had a kid, i’m scared she’d be one of those moms who blame all their troubles in life on the child. i feel like she’d be the type to have high expectations of her kid and if they don’t fulfill it, she’d get so disappointed and antagonize them and go into another whirl of “here we go again with why my life isn’t perfect”. i definitely am scared that sera would look at a child as a way to start over her own life and project her own shit onto them

sera’s mom seemed so nice thooo :( she didn’t deserve sera’s angry words i felt so bad for her :( it must have been so awkward for her fam to eat at the table after her outburst too lol it’s giving very childhood trauma vibes for her siblings rip

okok so toji fushiguro 💓💗💕💖💘💕💘💞 but idk gojo this chapter is making me feel a lil smthsmth 🤨❤️‍🩹(?)… i’ve said before that he needed time alone for self reflection because he’s just been dragged around by sera and his pride that he can’t rlly think for himself anymore, and i’m honestly so glad he’s had a week to think (and suffer alone but whatever he had it coming). i love that he’s rlly trying now and that he’s realizing the weight of his past actions AND I LOVE YN GIRLBOSSING HER WAY THRU IT OH YES THAT LAST LINE 🙌👏 YEA BESTIE 💪💅

i’m rlly looking forward to finally seeing yn in action with her passion when she goes to the zenin estate 🙈 i jus know that shits gonna make me so giddy HAHAHAHA anywayyy thank u so much for this chapter! no lie, sn makes my saturday mornings so exciting and it’s what i look forward to all week 😩

Anonymous said

this chapter was so heartbreaking for me to read /lh /pos(??)

like, just the part of mc's heart disease made me cry like idk??? like a baby? because when i was 5, i was diagnosed with one (and thank god is cured bc i had surgery when i was 8) but i stopped to think if i hadn't gone to the hospital that day, maybe i wouldn't have discovered this and i wouldn't have had the surgery annnd like, this made me cry a lot,,,,, your work is amazing, it makes me think about a lot of things in my life i didn't really paid attention, i guess

@katsulovee said

hii!! I don’t really have much to say but I’m glad that yn is starting to take care of herself now and focus on herself worth!! I really hope she does so after her dream on running her own little company one day with help from mr toji.

I also love yn and toji’s relationship!! I love how she can really open up to him, even about her condition and kinda treats her like family too!! I really wish yn the best in future happiness because she really deserves it from all the pain and suffering she’s been put through.

thatminniechick said

YESSSS Y/N MAKE YOUR OWN HAPPINESS LETS GO!!! Design them clothes line! Also there's no real way for Goji to start making it up to her until he breaks it off with Sera and minimizes contact, and that'd just be the beginning. It's upsetting to read that Sera blames Y/N for her misfortunes that Y/N isnt even aware off. She's so clouded in bitterness that she doesnt realize that she is as toxic as her parents are to her. It's tragic. Beautifully written chapter! Cant wait for the next one.

@m3gumiis said

Hiiii i know you have a shit ton of asks but I truthfully could not hold back on sending this.

First and foremost, you did it again!! This chapter was done beautifully as well as the others, I’m looking forward for the future angst and satoru redemption arc.

Second, “To know that you might end up six feet under and be forgotten in this world like your mom did was an experience that left blisters on your heart.”

Jesus. this was so heartbreaking. I didn’t realize this was a fear of mine until I read that line i’m just wow. Hypothetically speaking, if MC does end up dying, I honestly hope she is not forgotten easily.

also this line, “M-My heart’s already suffering,” WAS GENUIS!! the way MC is being so literal about it is scary because satoru doesn’t even realize it. like GOOSEBUMPS FR.

and I have a question, so you mentioned that sera’s family was given money by Gojo’s so does that mean they are aware she is in a secret relationship with him? and i’m glad you included her POV, as a first gen here i understand having to be the breadwinner in the family. although it might be the pisces in me, i do sympathize with her and understand why she views the world the way she does.

Thank you for taking the time to not only answer asks but update on such a tight schedule. You deserve all the love to come!!! :D

Anonymous said

Only you can make a 9k chapter feel so short 😭😭 I always want to know more everytime I finish a chapter

Gojo is finally getting what was coming for him and he deserves it. He's in denial about it, but he absolutely was just as abusive as his dad, even if he would never get physically violent. It makes me have so many encountered feelings, bc I'm a gojo simp and kinda want mc and him to have their happy ever after, but realistically that kind of emotional abuse is extremely hard to look past and move on from, and in real life I would absolutely beg mc to get away from him as fast as possible.

I also find it so hard to empathize with sera lol girl I'm poor too but i've never gone after a married man. We really saw also how she loves the idealized version of gojo, and doesn't like when her picture perfect boyfriend is anything but. I can see how she desperately wants something perfect after dealing with her family but still #SeraGetTherapyChallenge

Love how we all camp waiting for your asks to open! Keep taking care of yourself first though, we love you ❤️

@dol-house said

i usually don't go after the other women when it comes to cheating after all she didn't swear to be loyal,but this bitch sera makes it so hard not to, like she seen the mc being extremely lenient with her and still have the nerve to play the victim. If it was me i would have walked out on Gojo the moment he and his dumb bitch tried to villainize me. idk maybe im speaking from the fact that its incredibly hard for me to make meaningful emotional relationships or its probably because i have no tolerance for toxic relationships.( mostly because almost all the women in my family had been in one and i have been a witness to my parents own abusiveness) but all in all im glad that the mc is getting her shit together and walking away from the stress. But the sadist in me is fucking giggling i truly hope that gojo beg on his knees for the mc to come back i just wish the worst for him right now i hope that sera bady traps him i hope that the mc divorces his ass and (she) get with someone that truly cares for her and makes her happy the poor girl needs a happy ending.

Anonymous said

Why am i a whore? First of all i was crying the whole time while reading this chapter and that’s really strange because of all chapters this one hurt me the least but it’s the one i cried about the most because it was just too emotional😭

ok back to the topic why am i a whore? I literally made a whole speech about how i am so disgusted about gojo and that i could never forgive him no matter what and how he must suffer but now i feel a little bad for him🧍🏻‍♀️ but i shouldn’t let my whore emotions take the best of me he must suffer like how his wife suffered or even more because i might feel a little bad of him but it's nothing compared to how much i feel bad for y/n especially after i found that she has heart condition 😭💔

@peachiekookie said

Hello Hello 💜 I just got done reading Chapter Nine of SN and tears were falling already! There’s a few things I’ve had in mind while reading this chapter.

The conversation between Sera and Gojo - I felt mixed emotions. Anger? Remorse? Anxious? Too much happening since Gojo finally confronted Sera about what’s going on but Sera was pulling another trick up her sleeve. Will she use the pregnancy as a bridge to success or failure? She’s making me angry but also curious because sometimes the second female leads somehow manage to royally screw everything up anyways so I’m just waiting for that specific chapter to come up. And the relationship she has with her family made me feel so bad honestly. I can’t imagine yelling at my parents but in her case, since the dad is acting that way, Sera should just kick him out if he’s not providing financially. The mom I see her as a housewife watching the kids while Sera’s working so that’s okay. If anything, she didn’t have to yell at her siblings for caring about their older sister 🥺

Second concern was the conversation between MC and Gojo. That was a tear jerker (but it won’t top Ch.9) and I just wish for happy MC 💜 Gojo has abused her verbally and mentally (physically too bc of the ring situation), so I don’t think there will be a happy ending between them..? Maybe so maybe not but as far as the story goes, Gojo has a lot to make up for this marriage. MC won’t file for a divorce maybe because of the business relationship but if she had the power to, then she would’ve ended it without thinking twice. Now that we know MC has CAD, there’s no doubt in my mind the divorce will come with a happy ending like “Gojo, I’m sorry for the divorce but just know that regardless of what happens between us, I’ll still wish for happiness for you. It may not be with me but I don’t want you to suffer as much as I did,” type of divorce, ya know? Like pull the trigger with her own happiness and it makes him suffer in the end? Too much lol? However the story goes I will still love it anyways!

Last, Toji and MC. IN MY OPINION(!), I’m not wanting Toji and MC to become a couple. At first when he came up to MC at the bar my heart did backflips and I was like “oh yes she gonna get drunk and have a liquid courage hookup with him!” But as the story progressed and their relationship to, I see their relationship becoming a Brother-Sister type of bond . . I see Toji caring for his baby sister and wanting nothing but happiness for her while MC leans towards him as a escape zone for comfort. The way Toji makes her smile without much effort makes my heart melt but I don’t feel butterflies like that. I don’t think MC looks at him in that sense and is most likely using him (well not ‘using’ him) as an asset to begin her career. Like it’s a friend looking out for a friend :) I’m sorry to everyone who supports the Toji x MC trope but I support their relationship whatever if is our Author plans in the end!

This whole story got me going nuts and this is my first time sending in an Ask to you! Thank you again for making Friday’s interesting since all my family sees from me are tears and a runny nose 🥲💜

Anonymous said

After that emotional ending in chapter 8, I went to listened to the SN song playlist to comfort my heart and soul. The song that stood out was Harry Styles’ Falling and I decided to watch the music video as well. Someone in the comment section interpreted the music video, saying, “And after drowning himself, he realizes how he can try to start again, even when it’s really hard to recover from what he’s been through. That’s why the beginning is actually the end, with the water in the room going down, he playing the wet piano again and resting.”

It made me think, what if SN’s open ending is like that? Very simply, Gojo and y/n do separate, the merging wouldn’t happen, Gojo would lose y/n and his chance at being CEO, and Sera seems like she wouldn’t stick with him through all of this (seeing that she only likes the idea of his perfect self). Gojo will essentially hit rock bottom and wallow in regret as y/n moves on. In my mind, y/n wouldn’t necessarily move on to another relationship but move on with her career and loving/caring for herself. At some point, Gojo will find a way to forgive himself and move on from the past as well; he’ll find it in himself to let go of the agony that has tormented him (i.e. reconcile with his mom). And maybe years later, a mentally healthy Gojo and a heart healthy y/n would cross paths again, and it’ll be an open ending to whether or not they end up together again. But ultimately, they both are at peace and have forgiven each other. I also like to think that even during the time they were apart, they continued to have love for each other.

@sourpatchdweebs said

Sheeesh as someone who’s been through an emotionally and mentally abusive relationship. And had a snapping point JUST LIKE THIS… This is hitting home so so much wow. The way you’ve written the emotions of wanting that familiarity of a relationship but feeling like you’re not good enough is spot on scarily so. You’re an amazing author I hope you know. Just like y/n here I had a snapping point where I went OFF on my abuser; except I was at a safe position to leave since he was leaving for the navy. It’s just so interesting to see a toxic relationship being portrayed at extreme accurately like this. I’m hoping to see y/n live the life she deservesss !!

@bbykita said

can we talk abt seras stankin ass and her home life? i get that she is frustrated and upset abt her dads drinking which caused the dinner not to be good but she didnt have to be as rude abt it as she was. also with the 10 million yen thing didnt it all go to waste on her fathers debt? so how do they have a nicer place now? in conclusion i hate that fucking stanking dumb ass btich. also gojo, your to late with the apologies baby.( putting all this aside, how r u? i hope your keeping up with your mental health, getting enough sleep, and overall taking care of yourself! )

hey guys i’m sorry i can’t respond to u all but i just thought it’d be nice to publish these asks for anyone who’s interested to see <33 thank u for the support and for leaving all these messages !!

[inosukeslefttoe]

g-guhh... i watched this movie the other weekend and i wanted to rewatch it again before posting anything but like.. homie i honestly dont think my heart can take that lol

so from the aspect of like,, the amount of buildup and quality of the development of relationships and characters and just overall emotional-ness of the movie compared to the anime, clearly the anime is superior... HOWEVER.... this one decided to completely bypass the part of my heart dedicated for anime feelings and just jab right into the part that made me feel genuine heartbreak. so like,, i might be projecting my own feelings n experiences onto this a bit too much but i just gotta talk about it hehe

obviously ugetsu and akihiko had some super mixed up feelings towards each other that made their relationship super toxic and i just wanna talk about the complexity of those feelings and why i think they felt how they did. 

so i think that one of the biggest reasons they stayed together in their on and off sort of thing was because they were each others first loves. i believe akihiko mentioned that he moved in with ugetsu before he got the chance to live alone or smthn like that,, and they basically started their adult lives knowing nothing but each other. they were still developing as ppl and finding their own way as adults,, but before they were allowed to fully mature, they fell in love and fell into this almost codependent relationship where it was hard to imagine themselves without each other bc at this point,, all they knew was each other. 

another reason they fell in love was because of their shared passion for music and for the violin specifically !! but i also think that this is one of the major things that caused their downfall. i think that they ended up putting too much of their relationship onto that shared passion so it was no longer like,, something individual to each of them,, it was no longer about their individual passion for their craft but something that was holding together their relationship. and sure, having something so strong connecting two people can be wonderful, but it can also be harmful if it takes something so personal and unique to each person and is suddenly forcing it to be glue holding them to each other that leaves little room for their own expression if that makes sense.

 i think this shared love of music was also causing akihiko to feel like he was living in ugetsus shadow. and honestly, when u have a partner who is just so perfect at everything they do and u cant seem to catch up to them, it becomes rlly exhausting. akihiko didnt want his partner to see him as lesser or to pity him or act condescendingly seeing him struggle to catch up to his own talents so i think that could be part of what drove akihiko away from the violin. aside from this,, i think that since akihiko fell in love with ugestu due to his epic violin skills, he started associating the violin super strongly to ugetsu and no longer felt like it was an extension of himself,, but just something to relate to his partner who he also felt was far superior to him in this subject. as long as ugetsu was in his life, the violin would only ever remind akihiko of his partner and it could never be regained as something personal and expressive of himself. 

uhhh i think thats all i wanna talk about for rn regarding why their relationship got so messed up but like,,, i would also like to be emo about ugetsu for a second lmao

i just... when he was talking to mafuyu about how he was just sitting there waiting for akihiko to come home... how it seemed like he was talking less about their apartment and more like himself... UGH IM GONNA CRY BRO THAT FEELING WHEN U THINK SOMEONE IS UR HOME AND U THINK UR THEIRS BUT UR BOTH JUST MESSED UP AND TRAPPED IN A BROKEN HOME.... and also how he was clearly not having any of his needs satisfied by akihiko and would yknow have sex w other ppl and stuff but still go back to akihiko and it was clear that nothing rlly meant anything to ugetsu without him... god my feelings pls... HHH AND THE SCENE WHERE AKIHIKO WALKED AWAY FOR GOOD.... FUCK DUDE IM GONNA CRY THINKING ABOUT IT... it just hurt so bad to see that akihiko had matured and was so easily letting go of ugetsu for the final time and yeah that was fuckin awesome for him and im rlly happy he had the strength and development to do that... BUT... u can tell that ugetsu didnt have that maturity... and u could just see the panic and heartbreak and just overwhelming emotions that he was seeing like dude i could fucking hear every voice in ugetsus head just screaming at akihiko to come back to him and hold him one more time ... but he couldnt say anything. he looked so lost. he hadnt known anything aside from akihiko ,, and his passion for music was still strongly connected to their love so i imagine that at this point he genuinely felt that he had nothing. not even himself. the entire person that he built himself up to be was always leaning on akihiko since theyd grown so much together and akihiko had always been something constant in his life to where things didnt mean much without him. and suddenly he was just,, gone. and he took every part of ugetsu with him. at this point im probably projecting more than analyzing, but  this was just my take on their feelings and that specific scene. it was very very good that the two cut contact and are working to better themselves, and i know that they both knew that, but their whole situation was just. so fucking heartbreaking. and something extremely hard to do in that sort of codependent toxic relationship...

OKAY THAT WILL BE ALL BEFORE I CRY LOL BUT I HOPE IT MADE SENSE !!

[zepdeans]

this is highkey like a month late (i mean wbk im a chronic scatterbrain procrastinator) and she’s thicccc but without further ado. my skam s4 thoughts.

I first just want to say a couple things: im not a muslim woc so my thoughts on s4 don’t hold as much value as those of a muslim, woc, or a muslim woc. I also don’t know to what degree sana’s representation was true to real life. I made an effort to look for posts from muslim woc on sana’s season but to no real avail, especially given it’s been two years since skam ended and a lot of blogs have deactivated, changed urls, or posts have become buried :( [if you know of any good posts regarding sana’s season please lmk!]. from what I can recall in 2017, there were mixed opinions on s4 with most being upset (or at least disappointed) with the ultimate execution of sana’s storyline and I agree w that. while s4 means so much to me and has a really special place in my heart, I do 100% acknowledge its flaws. ok!!!!!! lets get into it😤

ep1 -as much as I wished isak stayed in kollektivet I’m glad he and even had a rlly sweet happy time this entire season. also evak making their friends move all their furniture while they whisper romantic shit to each other and makeout? peak comedy -you fuckin wish!!! -sana is the one to say “of course you should tell noora about william”.. she Knew and still takes the fall for it :( -this opening clip is such a jarring shift into sana’s pov!! e.g. while easy to overlook in previous seasons, sana’s exclusion from the girls is glaringly obvious once we’re looking through her eyes -adding onto that! sana is the friend who notices everyone else- she’s so observant, which hurts even more when you notice her friends don’t do the same (except mayhaps chris- in my heart of hearts I know chris is also the friend who notices and goes unnoticed, but unfortunately we don’t get enough of her and sana’s relationship this season to fully see that) -yousef and the balloon squad’s entrance.... ICONIC! also I cant believe for 2 seasons they presented those dickbag nissen 97s as the be all end all of hot amazing boys when the bakka third years were RIGHT THERE like,, the penetrators vs. balloon squad + even? no contest ma’am -also! it’s so interesting that we literally had no idea sana had a brother, or that yousef etc existed until now? it’s as if she has a whole private world at home, separate from her friends and nissen (and I think a theme of this season is those two worlds merging) -im obsessed w the yousana train scene but yousef being the only one who notices sana standing off to the side? ;-; -fy faen is such a stunning clip oh my god. when sana leaves to pray? possibly my favourite skam scene ever. it’s exquisite.  -sana is so cute and awkward squeezing thru the crowd shsdhgfhshdf I LOVE her love her -the last shot on yousef and noora... oh my GOD oh my god bc like. being that friend who never ever tells your real feelings or your crushes or is vulnerable with your friends?? and then having to listen to them talk about how good your crush would be with someone else (especially one of ur friends) while ur sitting there silently dying inside? and you don’t say anything since you can’t be vulnerable with your friends and u don’t think u stand a chance anyways so. (in the words of s3 noora. I think sana struck a nerve with the emotional unavailability! abbey r u ok) -this episode is a masterpiece and did such a phenomenal job of both introducing us to sana’s perspective while also touching on a multitude of her struggles AND establishing the themes of the season. plus the cinematography, editing, soundtrack and aesthetic...... o baby. (case in point I deadass just rewatched it after writing this)

ep2 -every shot of sana praying is beautiful (and beautifully edited!!) -sana’s room is usually messy... not smart enough to fully analyze this but I’m sure it means something  -an interesting contrast of what’s expected of her vs. of elias- I can’t speak for muslim families, but I know even in non-muslim families girls are always held to suchhh a higher standard (source: I have 2 brothers rip) -”if you find immaturity charming” hilarious bc sana actually does in fact find immaturity charming  -what’s interesting is how noora comes across in sana’s POV- kinda obnoxious, kinda ignorant, seemingly perfect (compared to how noora is portrayed in eva’s season, for example) -even is one of those ppl who uses the bill gates argument on why dropping out of school makes u richer sdfhfsjskfjfsd -sana staring down the pepsi max squad. fuck em up. -vilde adding magnus to the groupchat jfkjsjfdjfsfsdkj -isak missing eskild :’) sidenote I fucking live for isak and sana’s chats this season. they’re literally my lifeblood like.... 

ep3 -the kiss me scene god I go FERAL -“you need to pull it towards you, not push it away. okay?” yall mind if i SCREAM!! YOUSEF!!!!!!!!!! -there rlly is something about seeing sana, who in everyone else’s POV comes off as cold and harsh and stoic, just absolutely meltinggg when she talks w yousef like she doesn’t stop smiling she’s so sweet!!!! ah🥰 and yousef is 100% that guy who ppl tell “your gf is so intimidating and ruthless bro” and he’s like are y’all talking about sana??????? my baby?? my fuckin cinnamon apple????? -yousef’s lil smile watching sana peel carrots. 911 it’s me again -vilde and sana’s relationship has a really interesting dynamic bc like.. vilde says ignorant shit to sana while also genuinely looking up to her. and sana is probably the harshest to vilde within the group but it’s because she actually values their friendship a lot  -IM HURT BECAUSE YOU NEVER REPLIED TO MY MEME -sana pulling 2yr old receipts off the top of her head to defend vilde. god I stan -sana doin research taking notes..... shameful she isn’t canonically a virgo (honestly her and isak both but like-) -she’s so soft and smiley w her mamma awh... “of course he likes you, who doesn’t like you?” her mamma only knows the real, gentle, beautiful loving sana oh im CRY -even is so kind and loving and thoughtful yall mind if i....... -”you can’t escape the internet girl” foreshadowing mayhaps?

ep4 -david and ulrikke together are fucking hilarious -noora’s “you’re lucky you don’t have to think about this stuff, heartbreak and that” :/ it’s not just vilde who says ignorant things to sana! -that being said sana and noora are cute asf in the exper5 scene.. dorky noora rise (omg josefine and her yogurt in the bloopers too sjhfkjdf) -I HANDLE BALLS BETTER THAN YOU -the yousana scene is sooo gorgeous whew...... -I always cry a lil bit (ok a lot) when yousef brings up even. and sana knew too. even sweetie ily :( -sana talking about her religion is beautiful. it’s so lovely to learn about how she thinks and sees the world. -yousef’s smile watching sana leave like ur kidding right....... -“flawless since 99″ is so cringey. it’s so cringeyyy -sana uses “smh” I knew we were soulmates

ep5 -eavesdropping on ur parent/brother’s argument is peak sibling culture -when ur always paranoid but ur always right..... -sana’s green jumpsuit sign me up babey -I really really really love elias and sana’s conversation -u dont even realize how tiny sana is until she’s standing next to isak and even -not finding out why yousef avoided the fight and why he kissed noora will haunt me forever (could we not have expanded more on that instead of noorhelm.......) -the parallel of sana washing isak’s blood off her hands vs. her washing her hands during maghrib in episode 1. gotta sit down. -vilde gossiping to the pepsimax girls stings SO bad it’s just such a betrayal?:( -“the other girls seem cool, especially noora! she’s so pretty!” ok much to unpack here but: sana again comparing herself to noora (who she sees as /perfect/)... sana being written off despite putting so much effort and passion into the russ bus while noora, who has done literally nothing and at best is indifferent to russ, is the one they like the most. disgusteng -love will tear us apart.. bitch..... -sana abt to cry god I can’t -if sana is anything like me (I mean I think she is but jkjjkhsdfhfsd). looking stupid is the absolute worst so like, her sending out emails abt being bus boss when she was actually being lied to? being played? and her being “paranoid” about sara being shady, but deciding hey maybe im just being crazy? except she wasn’t she was right and she Knew!! and she’s probably thinking how dumb it was for her to get her hopes up, everything always ends badly anyways and no one actually likes her :((((((( -dont rlly know what my feelings are on the fight. im not against it bc isak does have a temper but his apparent motive always seemed weak to me?? and god I feel so bad for even

ep6 -forgot about sana getting bullied in middle school yall mind if I sob?? -sana lying and getting defensive bc it’s hard to be vulnerable, or because she hates looking stupid? or both?:( -isak looking up dandelions in his textbook just bc even put one behind his ear. I HATE this man -sana’s dad asking if she had a bad day aw :( -all the boys (and sana) wearing black but yousef wearing white.... what does it mean.............. -the carrots are back goddammit -radio station playing during this scene: “if I have to choose between the just non-muslim and the unjust muslim, without any doubt I would choose the non-muslim who is just” -ISAK’S NOSE SFFJDFJFSDKJSDF -sana’s text about chris I’m going to bawl my eyes out.           “yeah! looking forward (to going to nissen) but a bit worried. don’t know               anyone else starting there.”           (J: new friends?) “yes, at least one of them. I have german with her (chris)           and she’s very cool!” -the contrast of how blunt sana came off when we’re first introduced to her vs. how she was really just excited to make a new friend bc she was scared no one would like her :( especially knowing her past with bullying and how nervous she was to start at nissen? chris baby I LOVE YOU thank u ;-; -also sana keeping 2yr old conversations on her phone... same -sana is honestly too smart and scheming and overthinking for her own good. she has these elaborate plans that more-or-less always get ruined by her being more kind than she gives herself credit for (e.g. wanting to protect vilde in s1, clearing isak’s name in s4) -everyone in skam texts back so fast smh -chris calling sana “sonic”...... a moment please -I cannot watch the sana/evak apartment scene without thinking of the bloopers and losing it lmfaoooo.. “this is where we live. just come in” -ik it’s based off fanart but there is little I hate more than their matching outfits  -“remember you’re both geniuses!” 🥺even  -once again isak studying is uhhhh me - “you’re a good person” yall i love isak i really do. he puts his foot in his mouth pretty often and doesn’t have a great brain-to-mouth filter and he can be awkward and rambly and blunt and unsure of what to say in emotional situations but also? he’s so genuine. it’s just his honest thoughts and he says it bc he cares about sana and knows she needs to hear it!! -ᶠᵃᵉⁿ ᵉᵛᵉⁿ -sana’s inner turmoil.. thank u iman for inventing acting (ik I haven’t mentioned it much yet but god iman is SUCH a phenomenal actor I owe her my life) -LETS GO BITCHES

ep7 -sana crying silently in her room breaks my fucking heart (IMAN!!!!)  -idk how I feel about the instagram plot but sana watching as her plan falls into place and then storming up to sara... pretty bada$$ -“it’s creepy it was published but it’s more creepy we have a bus boss who talks shit about everyone” THANK YOU vilde -i love s4 isak thanks -sana and jamilla’s chat aw :~) -how awkward do yall think the walk to the bench was lmfao -what sana tells isak is SO powerful and I love it a lot -isak does actually make a good point- the other girls are like that too.  -unfortunately I have been in situations isak describes, where you want to learn more about your friend’s culture or religion because you care about them and you’re genuinely interested, but you don’t know what questions are okay to ask and you don’t want to sound rude or ignorant, so you ultimately end up asking no questions at all. but I hate that the responsibility is put on sana to constantly educate people bc I cannot imagine how exhausting that must be [[[ok so. I know there are VERY mixed opinions on the bench scene but here’s my dumbass two cents. 1- I genuinely think isak was trying to make sana feel better by attempting to relate to her and pass on advice that really helped him. however, I don’t think isak realized what sana eventually told him- that her experience wearing the hijab is a lot different than isak’s experience as a gay man. do I agree with everything isak said? nooo. do I understand why he said it? yeah. 2- it was not isak’s place to tell sana norwegians aren’t racist, or not to look for racism in questions. I think there’s some truth to ppl often just being ignorant, and he does add that there are probably a lot of racist people in Norway, but yeah. not great. 3- in conclusion I think while isak shared some meaningful advice w sana, he put his foot in his mouth too and said some stupid shit. im not trying to defend that. I will add, though: a. we actually do see some growth on isak’s part. when he and even are yelled at on the street, that’s the moment it clicks for him that oh shit, this is what sana was talking about. this is what she has to experience? and that’s why he texts noora, “in the speech for sana, you have to include how insanely strong she is. I don’t think many people understand how much bullshit she has to take” and b. isak’s (bad) advice of “not looking for the racism in things” is ultimately contrasted by yousef (a moc who lived most of his life as a muslim) suggesting instead to show people what islam really is. and that’s so much more meaningful. I think the root of a lot of the issues isak brought up- i.e. ignorance- is a general lack of education, representation, or effort by non-muslim people to seek out information themselves. so sana leading by example and showing what it means to her to be muslim is so much more powerful.]]] -𝒃𝒂𝒎!  -BEST BUDS 🥺

ep8 -haper du har plass weaving in and out of this episode until the chorus finally breaks when the los losers van shows up...... miss julie 😭 -oh my god the pictures. im a fucking MESS bc they’re not only significant to the scene and to sana but also like,, as part of our goodbye to the girls?? -the balloon squad and even :( while the timeline of them reconciling within just this week is kinda wack, seeing even back with his friends looking so happy makes my heart uwu so i’ll allow it just this once -eva’s message to vilde about her and magnus being able to trust each other w/o reading their texts... growth or irony -chris is such a phenomenal friend (and this is why I wanted more of her in s4!!) -sana’s phonecall to the girls breaks my fucking heart bc like. right off the bat she’s finally being vulnerable with them?? telling them about her fears and insecurities and struggles? typing this im gonna start crying lol but god I love her so much. she’s so brave and she put all that on the line bc all she really cares about are her friends, she loves them SO much even if (she thinks) they don’t love her back -lowkey sobbed so hard during the haper du har plass clip I almost threw up and it gave me a headache :)  -anyways this is one of my favourite skam clips and god just. the moment you hear the girls calling for sana??? I LOSE it. when sana just starts BEAMING omg🤧 the girls love sana and support her and if you fuck with sana you fuck with us!!!!!! god. cannot articulate how dear to my heart this scene is. -haper du har plass feels like the end of the episode and the party clip is kinda just tacked on but I love how happy everyone is!! they’re all drinking champagne (who taught isak how to hold things) and dancing and smilingggg 💛 -yousana rise!!!!!!!!  -ok don’t get me wrong I hate william for crashing the party but their entrance slow-mo kinda slaps.... also sana popping up in between noorhelm SENDS me

ep9 -this is the point in the season where the amount of time dedicated to noorhelm is beyond beyond beyond significantly damaging to the story. this is sana’s last episode!! instead of having them makeout in front of william’s car for 20 minutes mayhaps we could’ve had a conversation between the girls and sana, or with her brother (if they had continued the elias alcoholism plotline rip), or maybe even with jamilla or her mamma? like I don’t care at ALL about noora or william. give me anything else. ple a s e -what makes skam scenes so brilliant is their quiet moments!! julie let the scene breathe. not everything needs a tacky song playing over top. -I’ve said this abt like twenty clips now but MAGHRIB. oh my GOD. an absolute masterpiece and definitely tied for my all time favourite skam clip. can’t rlly put into words how stunning it is. & I love sana and yousef’s conversation so much. -“of course I brought food! my name is yousef!” mr. acar you’re the only man I trust

ep10 -as much as my heart yearns for 10 sana episodes I think splitting up the last episode of skam into individual POV clips for different characters was brilliant and such a poignant way to say goodbye :( -okay don’t think about what sana could’ve written in her texts to everyone or ur heart will go sicko mode -I won’t write anything abt this ep since I’ve already written too much but like.. (elias should’ve gotten a clip instead of william. pchris can stay because his clip was funny but he’s on thin fuckin ice) -kjaere sana was such a beautiful way to say goodbye to skam. so yeah. bye skam. i miss you. 

overall ➔I’m not really sure why (possibly a lethal combination of my undying love for sana bakkoush, how much I relate to her, this but my ass was crying EVERY single episode of season 4...... F ➔I’m obsessed with s4′s aesthetic. imo the best editing, soundtrack and cinematography of any season!!!! julie is so talented at making each season feel distinct- to me, sana’s season is cool, vibrant colours (aka the late-night sunset aesthetic- gabie i hear u laughing shut up), crisp electronic/pop music and rap, ethereal city nights..... also sana has the best style of any skam character it had to be said ➔sana’s growth! seeing her open up and be honest and vulnerable with the girls during that phone call. sana sending all of her friends literally the sweetest messages of how much they mean to her and how much she values their relationship. sana being the (MUCH) bigger person and making amends with sara, ingrid etc. I love her so much :’((( ➔I’ve thought a lot about what I would change in season 4 and honestly? im a mf scatterbrain and have no real, structured ideas. my biggest issue is too much noora. dream s4 would be william staying in london and noora being happy on her own (but not rly on her own bc she has the girls and kollektivet!). as :/ as I am about the noora/yousef plotline, I’m not really sure what I’d do to replace the yousana conflict in ep5. maybe involving elias, or the balloon squad and even? related to that- in lieu of all the noora/noorhelm screentime, I would so much rather have a follow-up plot to elias’s drinking problem bc it was kinda just dropped? at the very least, the william clip should’ve been elias’s. I also would've killed for more one-on-one scenes with chris (even vilde or eva!), jamilla, even, members of the balloon squad... there are so many interesting stories that could’ve been explored instead of going down the noorhelm rabbithole again. furthermore, I feel like the social media plot was a bit... weak? again I’ve tried thinking of what I would’ve done instead (while also keeping the haper du har plass clip, y’all can pry that one from my cold dead hands) to little avail. what especially threw me about this plotline is that sana did this in s2 to jamilla, fucked up, and it bit her in the ass. I know that she gets irrational when angry but from a storytelling perspective, it seems repetitive. just.. I feel like there could’ve been a more powerful plot in which sana follows the same character arc. another thing I would’ve loved to see is beyond the los losers van, an apology from the girls to sana. or even just a conversation where they tell her “hey sana, we’re sorry for not paying attention and we’re sorry for being thoughtless/ignorant.” an apology from vilde about things she’s said in the past would’ve been <3. even a gesture! the girls order pizza again but this time it’s halal, or they make an effort to learn about sana’s religion and culture. I know it’s implied through the letter they write for sana, but a final standalone scene would’ve been so nice.  ➔i’ve noticed soo many remakes do this thing where they like.. water down shitty behaviour of their characters. which like- sure. I would love for everyone to be kind and thoughtful and not as horrible as they could be but also... I think that’s the point of skam? to show that people fuck up, but that doesn’t define them as a person. no one is perfect and no one can be thoughtful and considerate and kind all the time. and often these ‘problematic’ actions are integral to the story- e.g. elias saying stupid comments to isak (related to isak’s internalized homophobia and fear of coming out to his friends), the girl squad being ignorant about what sana can eat, etc. so..... your remake is not better because it erased every horrible action every character has done. (nuance.. where r u.........) ➔despite its flaws, I will say- the good moments of season 4? ineffable. I think we sometimes forget that julie literally wrote, directed, and I believe (?) assisted w editing and soundtrack too. i cant imagine doing all that under so much pressure, trying to bring so many storylines to a conclusion whilst simultaneously creating a goodbye-season to a show she put her life into the past two years. I’m so fucking appreciative of her. and you know what? all in all julie wrote some pretty damn beautiful episodes and scenes, and you can tell she loves this show just as much as we do. ➔and honestly this is maybe one reason I’m more wary of watching remake s4′s, bc like.. this season meant SO much bc it was the last season of skam. we knew it was the last season. the final episode is more or less a love letter, a goodbye to the show. whereas w some remakes (do i have to say whomst) its  like.. that love isnt there. it’s just another season. yknow? in conclusion I miss skam so much :(

ok whew if ur reading this ur a champion but also why did you just read 5k of me rambling about how much I love sana bakkoush?? 

[starrysence]

chanting: SPAL BERT SPAL BERT SPAL BERT

what is???? spoon berry???? AKSJDJS IM KIDDING I LOVE SPALBERT HERE WE GO

warnings: mention of abuse + implied depression

×××

●ok so they both?? like? struggle w/ expressing their emotions verbally (spot a little more than albert), like in face-to-face conversation ▪modern era they wouldnt have a problem texting each other "ily" or "i love u" etc but they wont be able to say it out loud for a little while▪no problem showing physical affection tho●hoo boi are these boys physical▪what they lack in being verbal they make up for in kisses/hugs/hand holding/other stuff like that u know▪albert usually initiates physical contact bc he's so touch-starved▪when theyre both new to their relationship he does little things like hold spot's hand and trace shapes on the back of it ▪also draping his arm around spot's shoulders and running his fingers through his hair▪spot will never admit it but it drives him crazy●theyre both Very Athletic▪they just seem like the athletic type▪gonna be real i dont know SHIT about 99% of the sports on this planet so dont expect too much detail▪al loves track n dance and spot loves football▪actually al can run rlly fast it's kind of frightening▪extremely well defined muscles from dance▪def into ballet, modern, tap, jazz▪spot can hardly dance▪he knows ballroom dance bc of a class medda made him take and Thats It▪but hes really good at football▪works out. on the daily.▪al works out almost every day but some days he can barely bring himself to get out of bed and spot gets that▪al isnt one of those people who feels better after exercising bc he can barely get himself to do jt▪but he'll read a good book and listen to some nice music and thats his happy place▪sometimes he'll actually just pick spot up out of nowhere and nyoom y'know●a couple months into their relationship is when al tells spot hes adopted ▪spot is surprised bc al couldve told him earlier???? since he knows spot is adopted too▪but albert explains that he was scared bc telling someone hes adopted makes him feel like he has to tell them abt the shit his biological parents did to him

▪so spot tells him that he isnt being forced to talk about it if it makes him feel uncomfortable, and starts Panicking when albert starts crying▪hes all "did i say something wrong???" and albert shakes his head and just tells him that it means a lot that he said that▪now he is significantly ess Panicked▪and albert just like. pulls him into a hug and hes always down for that●neither of them like the snow very much●they stay inside wrapped in every blanket they can find in the house sipping hot chocolate with marshmallows in it and candy canes on the cup●spot is Ready to watch christmas movies on november 1st but al is in post-halloween denial and depression for at least the first 10 days of november▪it makes for a lot of arguments▪"i want to watch white christmas!!!!!!"▪"you can but i REFUSE"▪"can we look for a christmas tree-"▪"nOt YeT"▪spot would Actually Fight Al if he didnt love him so much●albert owns So Many sweaters▪spot does too but he loves to steal albert's▪"am i ever gonna get that back"▪"no probably not"▪"ok cool"●al is the first one to use a pet name▪spot gets really red and cant speak for like 3 minutes the first time albert calls him "babe"▪al is getting a LAUGH outta this hes never seen spot like this before▪"babe youre so cute when you blush oh my god"▪"sH ut up dasilva"▪"whatever you say babe"●spot is the first one to say "i love you"▪he gets really scared bc for a minute there albert is really quiet and just sitting there staring at his hands ▪but then he kisses spot so softly on the lips and spot's just like "o h" in the back of his mind▪and they both pull away after a few minutes and al is smiling really wide and he kisses spot's neck and whispers "i love you, too, spot"●al can bake▪spot Can Not▪spot's amazing at cooking tho▪but hes bitter bc so is albert▪it'll be al's turn to cook dinner one night and spot is eating a cookie from a batch albert baked earlier and hes just like "fuck you"▪"what?"

▪spot gestures to al with the half eaten cookie in his hand and speaks through a mouthful, "you can do both. it’s uNFAIR"▪al dies laughing ●uhhhh hh albert plays guitar and is way better at songwriting than he likes to admit ▪actually spot doesnt even know al writes song until he sees his songbook lying around and decides to look through it a lil▪he loves hearing al play with or without singing▪never hesitates to tell al how freakiNg good he sounds and albert blushes and smiles every time and replies "thanks" rlly softly▪it makes spot's heart melt. every damn time. and he cant help but just kiss his boy▪one time after al finishes playing a song he looks at spot and smiles and hes like "that one was about you"▪spot near CRIES▪ofc. kisses. he loves his bf so much▪eventually he has to be like "put the guitar away albert" so they can go further

●ngl albert proposes at 3am without entirely meaning to

▪like he has a ring n stuff but he was planning to propose on a cute date or something

▪but y'know they cant sleep so theyre in bed talking 

▪"you know what, spot?"

▪"what?"

▪"we should totally get married one day. like. it would be so cool. sean and albert conlon-dasilva"

▪"did you just. actually fucking propose to me at," he turns to check the clock and then turns back to face albert, "3:16 in the fucking morning"

▪albert turns around to grab the ring box out of his nightstand and turns back to face spot before opening it

▪".......yes"

▪what a disaster

▪spot loves him

×××

here u go juls!!!!!! this got really long ajshdsjs so i hope u like it

-sanj 💕

tag list:

@but-let-us-seize-the-day​

@one-candy-cane-please​

@suddenly-im-respecsable​

@intoomanyfandomstopickaname​

@be-more-chill-evan-hansen​

@aw-jus-let-em-try

@bencookisagod​

@well-the-kids-do-too​

@auspicioustarantula​

@spot-conlon-king-of-brooklyn​

@have-we-got-news-for-you​

@not-a-scab​

@newsiesgarbage​

@pineappapizza

@andthewoildwillknow​

@concrete--donuts​

@stopthe-presses​

@thomasbeingthomas

@i-love-loki-and-sherlock

@maxvanna

[if you want to be added to my tag list, please shoot me an ask or a message letting me know! i’ll be happy to add you.]

[firebuug]

ok here’s this. pokemon au ramble. because this week has just been me loving my ocs but bass boosted. under the cut!! this post will be REALLY long mainly because of the teams sorry!

pokemon au is pure bc no deaths or rlly bad things happen

buggy is a trainer who went on the pokemon journey for fun and as a coming-of-age kinda thing(also because he may or may not have burnt his house down with a litwick), but kinda stopped getting gym badges half way and decided to settle down and just take the road casually. he settled down with apoccy and they both run a little pokemon sanctuary and care for pokemon that aren’t able to go back to the wild or have some little quirk (for example a litwick that cant keep itself lit easily). he likes battling for fun rather than for glory, and when his rival (farrow, obvs) was like “ha im gonna beat u and become the champion and ur not” he was like “i mean ok have fun!” which makes farrow pissed. he’s a guy who really cares about pokemon’s feelings and basically got back into action from pokemon santuary-ing and fought against the coven (the bad guy team) to stop them from hurting anyone.

team: 

- Ari (talonflame) (he flies around on her!)

- Lulu (chandelure) (his absolute baby and child)

- Fluffy (ampharos) (he named it fluffy when it was a mareep but then it evolved a bit and it wasnt fluffy anymore. its name is still fluffy tho)

- Big Boy (pelipper) (he’s a big ocean enthusiast but can’t swim and is a bit afraid of the water, so he uses pelipper to navigate over it and help him fish)

- Ellis (sylveon) (he wanted him to be a flareon but he loved them a lot and he ended up becoming a sylveon but buggy still loves him 100%)

- Musha (musharna) (musha helps him go to sleep easier and stay awake better as well, it’s basically his service pokemon ahghjhdjkf. she’s usually floating by his side!)

i think mendel would be a pokemon professor bc he studies pokemon. how he was even trusted enough to hand out pokemon to small children is a mystery, but gene takes care of most of the friendly stuff with handing u ur pokemon and stuff, mendel just does the research. later on it’s revealed that mendel is part of the region’s bad guy group, the coven! (>:3cc) their goal is to fuse multiple powerful pokemon together into the perfect pokemon that is able to beat everything and everyone else, in a combination of every type in existence. (Idk if this is the plot of any game bc i dont remember the plot of any game past pokemon b/w honestly) eventually the protag gets them to not fucking destroy everything and befriend the big boy pokemon (juggy, but like pokemon) and the coven disbands their group and just live life as normal people not criminals bc pokemon verse is best verse

team: - Juggy (sivally) (idk shit about sivally or the sumo plot but it looks like a fusion pokemon and its cute so like um there we go ig. in the actual au itd probably be a completely new pokemon but im lazy)

- Cofagrigus (obvious reasons. if i didnt want to keep this au pure i wouldve mentioned he still grave digs)

-Mimikyu (shut up its cute)

- Flabebe (flowere) (”oh what a pretty flower, it will be great to work on. oh no its a pokemon. guess its my child now”)

- Arbok (its a snake he loves snakes he gives it little pats on the head and rattatas)

- Claydol (it has a ton of red eyes and its black and red what more do you want from him. also he thinks it is cool and its psychic so like hhuiionnghgh yeah)

gene is a pokemon docdor (he heals those boys up for you and takes care of them) and helps mendel out in research since they both share an interest in researching pokemon!!! he doesn’t know that hes part of the bad guy team that snatches up pokemon and doesn’t question any weird things he decides to research about until like the end. he’s really nice and’ll probably catch up to you along your journey just to see how you’re doing, check up on you, and give you cool stuff like the master ball n stuff. he has a big greenhouse where he grows berries and’ll give you some as gifts along the way. he battles you occasionally to see how strong you’ve gotten and’ll heal your pokemon when your done, giving you tips. he likes hanging out around forests and little garden areas.

team:

- Serperior (long boi. good noodle boi.)

- Comfey (C O M F E Y flowere boi) 

- I lost my old gene team im so sad so i dont remember any of it

- Bitty (budew) (BABY BOY BABY! he loves them sm) (it evolves into roserade later on but shhhshhh baby budew)

- Swanna (pretty birb!!) (helps him water the plants in the greenhouse!!)

- Ana (unfezant) (HE NEEDS ANA OK)

- Audino (mega) (he needs that healy pokemon it’s essential) (theyre his little helper)

farrow is the stereotypical rival guy tbh. with buggy he was like “im gonna be better than u” and buggy was like “stop bullying me” but then just “ok” so he got bored. with skuggy it was more competitive, and they even battled each other right at the victory road’s entrance to see who was better, but they never got to complete the elite 4 trial since the coven juggy shit happened and they basically had to team up temporarily to stop these guys. when all of that was done farrow got back to challenging the elite four and trying to become champion, but he’s still struggling and is trying to train his team to become better while skuggy went “eh i’m done that was fun tho” and gave up. farrow hates being seen as weak and wants to have the strongest team, but he still loves his pokemon even if he pushes them near the limit sometimes while all focused up on winning.

team:

- Ally (linoone) (theres no possum pokemon and im mad but he likes ferrets too so) (or uh. long raccoon?) (either way he loves ally and she’s kind of a tank)

- Mittens (incineroar) (this was his starter, somehow, since he took the traditional trainer coming-of-age path and went to become the best.) (he loves his cat even if it did become....bipedal and buff??????) (They share the same big ego and victory flexing) (he rides on mittens’s shoulders sometimes or mittens carries him with arms in the air like a king)

- Rogue (liepard) (cate!!) (also it really fits him!!!) (he loves his thief cat and steals everyone’s items with it and makes them mad) (skuggy has cursed this cat out for stealing all his pokemon’s items at least twice before while both her and farrow looked on grinning smugly)

- Jasper (noivern) (i associate farrow with bats a lot, i think he likes bats now) (big fuckig boy who farrow flies on and farrow really likes battling with) (when farrow is out travelling and is tired and it’s late but he can’t find anywhere to stay, jasper shields him and makes whats basically a mini tent with his wings around him)

- Doggo (houndoom) (Farrow named him doggo as a joke but it stuck) (Fire dog with evil aesthetic! Farrow loves this) (He’s a good dog and farrow pats him for doing good work. he sniffs out berries and items for him on the road and is like his guard dog.)

- Snippy (gliscor) (another bat babey) (i might change it but idk) (it’s a sneakey boy) (he is also a tank and poisons everyone’s pokemon) (farrow accidentally gets stung by him like twice a week)

skuggy is a trainer who set out on the pokemon journey as a means to get out of his shitty house and family, collecting pokemon to help defend himself, but ended up really loving pokemon (especially bug types) and trying to take on a few gyms while he was at it. eventually he met farrow and it became kind of like a little race to see who can get the most gym badges first, giving him a motivation to travel the region and take on the elite 4. after the juggy fiasco he got a bit tired of fighting and decided he valued his pokemon a lot since they defended him and helped him fight back so he said “yknow what im gonna take a break from our race thing, im just gonna find somewhere to finally stay and chil out” while farrow was shaking the elite four’s door like “LET ME IIIIIN”. he’s kinda chill now and is thinking about going back and trying to fight the 4 someday, but for now he’s just a guy who catches bugs. he and gene hang out sometimes and go into forests n stuff. he’s still a butcher in this world ig. mans gotta make some money

team:

- Clove (scolipede) (his first pokemon, he caught it and went with it, but got really attached really fast) (she is his baby and he made it so far with her by his side and is really proud of both clove and himself for getting this far) 

- Big Tony (armaldo) (he found a fossil pokemon and kept it since it’s rock type and can help ward off fire types, which is a big weakness of his team, but he ended up loving big tony too. i know theyre supposed to be like 4 foot 9 but please imagine big tony as a BIG boy that skuggy can ride on its shoulders and back to get around.)

- Babie (ribombee) (he caught this thing and said “this is the cutest shit i’ve ever seen.” went on to destroy dragon types and be the best bee ever.) (actually it’s pretty weak but skuggy believes in them)

- Toaster (heracross) (heracross was too cute for skuggy NOT to catch. it’s the powerhouse. this boy rips thru pokemon likes it’s nothing. unless it’s a fire or flying type. then it dies.) (it likes to f i t e and shares skuggy’s quick temper, because u know what they say, like pokemon like trainer)

- Big old boy (stoutland) (this was also one of the first pokemon he’s ever caught and it was really strong, defended him well and was kind of like the tank of the team, so he kept it. he likes sleeping on its back, and sometimes it has to remember it isn’t a tiny dog anymore because it tries to jump at skuggy to greet him and he gets fucking smashed.) (hes a very good boy, he’s very fluffy, and skuggy loves him so much and owes him his life)

- Jeff (swadloon) (skuggy loves his emo-looking son.) (ever since he beat depression in the dick he just cant help but see himself in swadloon) (but swadloon is happy, just very comfy and grumpy) (swadloon loves skuggy and skuggy loves swadloon) (i mean just look at him) (it’s perfect for skuggy)

okay i’m done here there’s obviously more people but this post is getting alarmingly long and i still need to make their teams. if u read this entire thing u deserve 20 cat images and more jesus christ u madman !!!!!!

[wannasoftimagine]

imagine being daehwi’s friend on p101 s3

a trainee after his own heart :’)

(( AS REQUESTED! // i love ur writing !! can i get a daehwi scenario where you guys are best friends bc you're also a trainee from brand new music and you participate in pd101 s3 and come in 3rd place like him,, and he confesses to you afterwards bc he's so proud of you ?? as fluffy as possible pls and thank u have a great day/night 💓 ))

u and daehwi have known each other ever since u became a trainee at bnm

altho u were a little intimidated at first, he was always ready to approach u with friendly tips and a smile, so it was only a matter of time before u became best friends

hes the type of friend to hype u up whenever u step on stage

(ure p sure one time he came to a performance w a sign tht said u were the “inventor of rap” lol)

u can both b super extra when ure supporting each other tbh

to u guys, theres nothing too grand or too extreme to express how proud u are of each other

of course when u decide to enter produce 101 for the 3rd season, hes super excited for u

(hes also super nervous but he doesnt want u to know tht)

he gives u constant tips and advice, always guiding u

“be careful of their editing,, evil mnet is no joke”

daehwi sends u so much support tht even when u cant contact each other once the filming starts, u know he’s cheering u on

and listen. the show is STRESSFUL

daehwi already knew how hard it could be so he kinda didnt want u to go on it

but he also wanted u to show off how talented u were?? what a struggle

ur initial performance was with a couple labelmates, some girls u were close with but now super comfortable with

u did a song tht daehwi helped produce bc hes a king of music and u adore everything he makes

anyways

ure proud to say tht u gave it all, and u end up with a b ranking

its not as good as daehwi, but ure still rlly proud of urself

as the days go on, things only get more and more stressful

bc of how well so many of the s2 boys did, this season everything is 1000x as intense bc they want to make sure tht only the most talented people move on

as hard as it is, u step up to the challenge, practicing as much as u can whenever u can

still, sometimes ull see other ppl struggling

even tho theyre not from the same company as u, u have the kind of heart tht makes u want to try and help them even if just a little

at first it was a little awkward for u to offer advice to the other trainees, but with everyone cramped and tired together, its hard not to start to bond

soon enough, word spreads abt how ure one of the sweetest and hardworking trainees in the competition, and it sends a huge boost in ur popularity

it helps tht ure cute as heck and a lot of fans noticed how brightly ur smile was even before the first ep aired

altho ure not super close with any one person in particular, a lot of the girls there are super friendly so its easy for u to drift around to hang out with different groups

mnet seems to love u bc when u watch some episode clips, they show how ure always flitting around and seem like a v popular trainee

plus theyve decided to highlight u as one of the rising stars of the show, editing clips to show off the amount of time u practice and improve, even from ur already-amazing initial performance

ure super lucky and u dont forget it

but ure still pretty sure tht all of daehwis advice from beforehand helped u a lot

u dont get a lot of time to think abt him tho, just bc everything moves so fast in the competition

still, sometimes when ure trying to rest after another long day of practice, u cant help but reminisce on some of ur more playful and relaxed memories with daehwi

somehow, word didnt really get out abt how close u two were until midway thru the season

it wasnt like u were intentionally keeping it a secret, but it didnt rlly come up for awhile

not when u were all busy just trying to get some airtime and become a better idol

anyways

when word gets out, all of the other girls are So Jealous

luckily for u everyones really sweet and only tease u abt it instead of being jerks

still, now a lot of them are asking u for his number

tbh although u and daehwi had never talked abt it, u dont remember him saying tht he ever liked anyone

and honestly, u didnt rlly think abt him dating someone until girls were coming up to u left and right, asking what he was like

with time, everyone calms down a little bit, but ure left trying to focus on practice instead of why the thought of him dating someone else bothers u so much

(its hard bc u know exactly why ure upset, but u dont know what ure going to do abt it)

mOVING ON

u rlly cant talk to daehwi often, but there are some occasions where the p101 staff let u make a phone call

if ure not calling ur family, u always use it to call him

u use the limited time to catch up, and he always showers u in support and compliments, telling u how hes watching every ep when it airs and is cheering u on

even tho u cant see him, u can imagine the way he smiles as he says it, and its enough to make u smile as well

as the days and performances move on u get closer and closer to the final stage

u havent always been at the top of the rankings, but uve still been doing pretty well esp recently w all of the positive attention tht uve been getting

u make it to the finale, and u cant help but hold ur breath the entire time

in this mass of people in the audience, its impossible to make out anyones faces, so u cant recognize if anyone came to support u

u cant help but hope tht somehow daehwi made it, but u know hes been so busy with his own practicing tht he probably doesnt have time

theres a section of past p101 winners somewhere else, but its even further away and harder to see with all of the bright lights

the next couple of hours go by both achingly slow and annoyingly fast

as the names slowly start to get called, u watch with a heavy heart as more and more people are cheered their way on to safety

honestly ure still kinda surprised tht u made it this far, since u started out only hoping to gain experience and a vague fanbase with the show

but now tht ure here, u cant help but hope tht u make it to the end

despite everything u find urself cheering on the other girls whenever theyre announced as a finalist

everyones crying and ure no better tbh

its getting to the top, just before they decide to go back and announce the final member of the group, and ur ranking of 10 last week suddenly seems far too low, esp as 3rd place is about to be announced

then out of nowhere, ur name is called

ur hands are shaking and u keep looking around bc is this rlly happening?? but everyones screaming and hugging u and ure like ??????????

u cant even string together proper thoughts at this point

somehow u make it to the other stage where one of the staff puts a microphone in ur hands and the cameras are all aimed towards u

honestly half the things u say are just random words of gratitude or names tht u can never forget

ur busy telling ur parents, rhymer, all the other girls, ur fans, abt how much u love them, tht for a second somehow u almost forget abt daehwi

thts when ur gaze flickers to a screen in the stadium where the camera is focused on daehwi cheering and tearing up from his spot somewhere w some of the other p101 boys

of course u have to end it with a “lee daehwi!!! i love u too!!!!!!!” bc even if u know most ppl will take it platonically, ure not sure if he’ll see it the same way

(u dont even know if u want him to or not)

u say one last thank u before ure practically skipping over to ur seat and u cant help but think tht ure SO HIGH UP

still, now tht u know where daehwi is, even tho u cant make out his face, u feel ur heart stutter knowing that he’s there cheering for u

the rest of the night goes by in a blur honestly

as soon as ure all let backstage to meet up w ur family/friends, u find urself being tackled by a combination of familiar faces

daehwi is laughing into ur side, arm slung around ur shoulder, as ur parents try to congratulate u thru their tears, and uve never felt happier

after an embarrassingly long time of hugging and crying, daehwi manages to pull u to a slightly less crowded and loud area

n hes like “listen,, y/n,,,, u know im rlly proud of u too right?? like i love u a lot”

and ure not even thinking abt what u said in ur speech, just nodding along happily bc above all else, daehwi is still ur best friend

but he looks at u and he cant rlly stop smiling either, but he grabs u by the shoulders to say “no, i rlly love u a lot”

so ure like “okay??? and??????”

and he keeps staring at u with this stupid grin on his face and then it hits u and ure like “oh. oH. OH!!!!!!”

so ure both just smiling at each other like idiots n ure like “i think i love u too??”

at tht he has this mock-offended face like “u THINK”

but ure both so so happy teasing each other and feeling like ure both on top of the world

tbh u spend so long standing there and giggling tht ur parents eventually drag u away from ur private spot bc “u cant stand there grinning forever” and “ur bf isnt the only one whos proud of u!!!”

ure both embarrassed but its impossible for either of u to wipe the smiles off of ur faces

u all spend the rest of the day celebrating and enjoying each others company and the company of the rest of ur family/friends, and u cant help but think tht this is one of the best moments of ur life

[iguessiwritestuffnow]

Anastasia AU

So I saw Anastasia (the broadway one) in June and it was amazing like if you get the chance go see it. But anyway, since i’m absolute trash i’m jotting down some ideas for a newsies anastasia AU. (based more on the broadway version than the movie but like the plots aren’t too different so). also yes this AU would make more sense with jack and kath as the main characters (love interest) but when was the last time I wrote something heterosexual?

Note: this turned into a somewhat humorous summary of anastasia feat. javid

-So its 1917 in russia and the royal family is having a great time (said royal family is the Jacobs, but we’ll stick with the name Romanov because ‘jacobs’ is not russian)

-David is like ten or something? Sarah is nineteen, and while she adores her family, she has plans to go to Paris to spend time with her girlfriend  lady in waiting, Katherine. David doesn’t want her to go, so she promises she’ll see him soon and gives him a music box and they sing a haunting lullaby together, etc, y'all now how the story goes.

-like five minutes after Sarah leaves a bunch of revolution people come and kill the nobility for the sake of communism. (i feel rlly bad that Les dies). Sarah finds out about this and is Very Sad

-Time jump like ten years. Russia is now Very Communist and people are generally upset about that. But there’s a Rumor in Saint Petersburg that hey?? Maybe that david kid isn’t dead??????? And it turns out his older sister Sarah, who is currently chilling in Paris with her gf, will pay a Lot for his return

-Jack Kelly and his bff Crutchie are basically poor con artists who are bitter about communism. they want to Leave Russia but that’s Difficult. (crutchie is like thirty something- jack’s 22- cause i need crutchie to be older cause he used to be a count or something?). Jack hears about the missing prince rumor and thinks, hey, i could make money off of that. he ropes Crutchie into helping him, and they buy a music box that probably belonged to David. they’re really pumped about this plan

-who else happens to exist in Russia at the time? a kid named Davey who is currently like 20, and can’t remember the first ten years of his life. he’s spent all of his life travelling Russia with close to nothing and no memories, and he really wants to Leave. someone tells him, hey, hit up Jack Kelly he can get you out.

-so he goes to see Jack and Crutchie, who decide, hey, this kid looks vaguely like David (and has a very similar name, because fuck you i didn’t want to come up with another name). Davey sings an angsty ballad about not remembering shit. Jack is instantly smitten. Jack and Crutchie (who i will now refer to as the Dream Team to shorten things up) convince him that he’s probably a lost prince and davey just. goes along with it.

-the Dream Team tries to teach Davey all the Things about being russian nobility and. don’t do well. its okay they tried. Crutchie actually tries to be nice and helpful. Jack and Davey engage in some banter

.-theres this whole subplot in the musical about this ultra-communist dude and his struggle between wanting to kill anastasia for being a romanov and being in love with her. hes v morally grey and actually kinda interesting but i just. dont want to deal w/his story in this. if yall have ideas on how to include him in this lmk

-Jack sings an Upbeat song about how much he fucking hates Russia but also he loves it???? Davey is smitten (My Petersburg is a Bop listen to it)

-ngl i don’t really remember how this part happened in the musical so im going to go off of what i remember from the movie. The Dream Team + Davey go to rehearse in some old ballroom that used to be used by nobility. Davey has intense flashbacks and ends up singing that lullaby he heard literally ten years ago. He may or may not hallucinate his dead family. 

-turns out everyone Fucking Hates Russia but also loves it.

-they leave russia. Crutchie is pumped to see his friend Katherine, who will hopefully take him, jack, and davey to see Sarah. Jack and Davey are both Nervous

-they arrive near Paris, and the Dream Team rush ahead to relish in the fact that they finally got out of Goddamn Russia. Davey stays behind for three minutes and seventeen seconds to sing about how he’s going to finally find his family??? He’s scared but also happy and just. My boy.

-Crutchie is Very Excited about being in Paris. He was there a lot when he was nobility I guess? He leads a very nice musical number about how great france is. Jack comes to the realization that, wow, after this, he’s probably never going to see davey again??? that sucks. Davey meanwhile is Shook by Paris

-Davey Crosses a Bridge

-also somewhere in here Jack and Davey dance with each other. Its cute and crutchie ships it

-meanwhile, in the Richest part of Paris, Sarah and Kath are a few minutes into Reading Letters and Chill when sarah gets sad. She’s angsty because there have been a bunch of fake Davids and she just misses her little bro:( Kath tries to comfort her gf and give her hope, but Sarah just insists they Close the Door forever. She can’t deal with any more pain. She asks to be alone

-kath goes to a russian club to get drunk (not with liquor!!! fame works quicker!!!) and sing a BOP about missing being russian nobility. (dudes. Land of Yesterday is amazing)

-Crutchie and Kath meet up and Crutchie is like “hey so me and my buddy Jack brought a guy who may or may not be David can we see Sarah?” Kath is worried at first but eventually she agrees cause she and Crutchie are Good Friends (the characters they’re based on have a relationship in the musical but none of that straight shit in my AU)

-Davey has nightmares about All of His Family Dying and Jack comforts him by telling him a story about a parade he was at when he was ten. ten year old Jack had watched a parade of russian nobility, and had such an instant crush on young David that he just. ran out in the middle of the street to see him. David had smiled at him and that was jack’s bisexual awakening

.-In order to Add To the Story of Davey Being David, Jack has Davey retell the story from his POV. he says basically the same stuff, but then adds on that Jack had bowed. But Jack never told him that??? Wow turns out Davey is David!!! What a surprising turn of events

.-Jack and Davey finish the song in a very romantic duet and they’re about to kiss but then Jack bows to him instead

-Crutchie comments on how in love Jack and Davey are and wow this might fuck up the plan

-They go see a ballet. Davey sees sarah and is excited!!! thats his sister!!!! he just needs to convince her of that. Sarah sees Davey and wonders if thats her bro?? but no she cant get hopes up. Jack wants to protect and support davey like a good bf

-Kath recognizes Davey as the kid crutchie told her about and takes him to go to see Sarah while Jack waits outside. Jack convinces himself that they can only win. But… even if it works, and he gets the money, he’s going to lose Davey?? He realizes that he loves Davey and pining ensue

s-in the meeting, Davey realizes that there was a reward for finding David and figures that Jack and Crutchie were just using him and he is pretty heartbroken. he storms off, but Jack stays to try to convince Sarah to talk to Davey again. she respects his boldness and agrees. Jack on the other hand, thinks Davey hates him now and is heartbroken. he decides to leave Paris

-Sarah and Davey talk but she still doesn’t believe him. He shows her the music box and sings their lullaby. Sarah is Convinced and joins in on the lullaby. They hug and share a sibling moment. Its very cute.

-theres a Press Conference about David

-Davey realizes he kinda doesn’t want to be a prince cause he’d rather be gay for Jack. Sarah is chill with that. Davey decides to go after Jack

-Davey nearly gets shot but doesn’t.

-Davey finds Jack being angsty as he’s planning to leave. Jack makes some bs comment like “leave me alone i don’t want to be in love with someone who doesn’t love me for the rest of my life.” Davey decides Jack is being stupid and kisses him. They leave Paris together and live happily ever after!!

-(Meanwhile, Sarah lives in Paris with Katherine- they are happy and in love. Crutchie mostly stays with them but also joins Jack and Davey regularly on their exploits. Everyone is happy forever.)

so yeah this is stupid

[gh0stpkmn]

ok uh. yooran gaming channel au - part 2

@misfireezreal reblogged the ‘yoosung has a gaming channel au’ post and wrote a really cute lil addition that inspired me to add some more ideas to this mess of an au..... and i got really carried away

their addition / reblog post is here !!  tho i’ll also put a screenshot of it under the cut... along with more headcanons/ideas/whatever for the au/scenario

 god this is so cute omfg. ok so..

●  yoosung liking comments that say nice things abt saeran?? so good. honestly the sweet comments probably rlly do a lot of good things for saeran’s self esteem!! they cheer him up when he’s feelin sad i would think? definitely helps a lot on his rougher days.

●  misfireezeal mentioned donations so i started thinking about what donation money would go towards... when theyre not goin towards yoosung’s tuition (if he even stays in university at this point?? idk??)  or his cost of living, or equipment for the channel, they go to charities.

yoosung wants to help animals so they donate to animal rescue organizations and stuff like that. he wants to contribute help to other causes too so... he wants saeran to have some say where the money goes (and i mean saeran is the meme bringin in a lot of it so. ye.)

it’s important to saeran that they donate to organizations that provide help for mentally ill people--especially mentally ill youth. also organizations that help children in foster care or like... help kids that have been abused idk.. idk! idk...  things that can help young people that are going through some of the same things saeran went through

yoosung doesn’t announce the donations or anything because like... he doesn’t really feel the need to???? neither of them see a point in posting/talking about it. it just feels good to do nice things.

other stuff:

●  it comes up in passing that like. saeran as a knack for hacking and everyone’s like “how could u do this?? cant believe ur a dirty hacker”

saeran’s like “ lol dont worry. i only cheat at games when i play against my brother because he’s a shit and never plays fair ”

chat is like “whoa we didn’t know you had a brother!!!”

and they talk about it a little and yoosung is like “yeah his brother is ____”  (whatever his username is? i forget. hacker god i think?)  “he usually plays on the shooting star server “

viewers are Shocked that yoosung knows #1 on shooting star. they demand to have him as a guest star

it’s... debatable whether saeyoung agrees to it or not?? he has to lay low and stuff.. either way, they tell saeyoung about it and he’s so amused omfg. he watches yoosung and saeran’s streams sometimes (and is so proud of his bro. he cries probably) but not super often? when he does watch, he also uses a random throwaway name

but after the chat asks for him, he logs in once or twice w/ his LOLOL screen name and people are all over omfg. chat goes wild and saeyoung is Living for the attention omg

saeran is like “you’re so dumb god i hate you”

and saeyoung’s like. “ok but are you actually planning on coming home some time soon??? tomorrow maybe? becaaauuuuuse..... i miss you”

it’s cheesy and lame and Embarrassing. saeran’s just.. “GO AWAY asshole im doing a thing....................................... also, yes. please order pizza for dinner”

yoosung thinks its funny n cute and so do the viewers.

●  and ok even if... saeyoung is never a guest star, they probably bring like. mc or zen on once or twice and it’s great. a lot of viewers recognize zen (i imagine he’s a bit more famous at this point) and they are... so excited and surprised that he’s friends w/ yoosung and saeran.

i can’t really see jaehee or jumin on the show but like..........

..... the idea of them tricking jumin into trying to play a video game on the stream is so fucking funny to me????

like Somehow they manage to convince him to come over?? idk maybe by asking him to  ”help them work on a big project that’s essential to yoosung’s career” or smth “that requires nothing less than jumin han’s skill and expertise”  and because he’s a good friend he agrees. then they just. put a controller in his hand and he’s like “what am i supposed to do with this”

and ok jumin has probably owned a gaming console at some point but i honestly, truly can’t bring myself to believe that he uses it for anything other than like.....netflix

so he has no fucking experience and it’s. so good. yoosung and saeran are trying really hard not to laugh (and yoosung is failing)

idk what they make him play specifically but for some reason wii sports is flashing through my mind holy shit..... but actually its probably LOLOL or fallout 4 or something. idk. either way, he’s bad at it and they struggle to teach him how to even hold the controller properly

●  saeran likely moves in some time after they’ve started the channel where both of them play games together. which happened pretty far into the relationship anyways i think?

and even then it happens quite a while after they start the channel. maybe when it’s been going for a year or something? maybe two??

(i have no idea???? idk how long these kinds of channels stay big??? i only watch like... fairly well known youtubers like game grumps that have been around for a long time. and mcleroy stuff on polygon idk.)

anyways

how they decide to move in is basically like... ok.

i imagine they probably get questions about their relationship a lot when they come out as a couple or when new viewers first find out about them. the flow of questions dies down after the initial reveal that they’re together but they still pop up every now and then

sometimes the questions get slightly intrusive like asking about their plans for the future which they kinda just ignore those until it becomes a really frequently asked question so they Have to answer it.. so they just say they don’t feel comfortable talking about it for the time being (because tbh they dont know lol)

and so...

probably a specific question that people ask A LOT (and have since saeran’s early appearances)  is if saeran lives with yoosung, or if he’s planning to.

because he’s at yoosung’s place so often. he has been since the channel’s early days, and they post videos and stream together fairly regularly, i guess?

there’s obviously more content of just yoosung doing his thing because it is his channel after all but content featuring saeran is definitely a frequent thing (even when it’s not their duo let’s play channel or whatever... saeran can still be seen in the background in a fair amount of yoosung’s usual LOLOL streams, too. )

so uh

at some point they’re just hanging out.. (off stream, not on video or anything. just them together.. like a date night or just to spend some time together. i dunno)

maybe cuddlin’ in bed or on the couch watching a movie, having a nice time. there’s comfortable silence

and yoosung never really gave it a lot of thought before, but lately... he and saeran are just really close and their relationship is so GOOD and he loves him a lot. he’s thinking over all this stuff and how often people ask if they live together and...

i mean, he thought about it on his own before he really took the viewers’ questions seriously.... them bringing it up isn’t what sparked it necessarily. 

he considered the possibility before, but he was always scared that bringing up moving in together would be too forward or pushy, and that saeran wasn’t ready for it, and that they would be rushing into things--going too fast. yeah. 

he got that ball rollin’ and was trying to take it slow but recently, everyone bringing the idea up jsut. fuckin. kicks that ball. so hard. it’s going full fuckin throttle. max speed. it’s out of control and he can’t stop it

and so in this... really comfortable quiet moment he just kinda blurts out

“why haven’t we moved in together yet?”

saeran is surprised obviously. he wasn’t expecting that at all

he has briefly entertained the idea of living with yoosung before, because he’s over so often anyways, and he wants to spend even more time together.... but he’s also scared for various reasons? 

such as his mental health issues, obviously. he’s also anxious that yoosung will get sick of him, or that he won’t be able to handle being around yoosung 24/7 and vice versa. he doesn’t want to get so easily annoyed and snappy like he does at home with saeyoung? he also doesn’t want to rush into things. idk. there’s a lot more reasons but those are some of them.

so when yoosung says this, he has no idea how to react??? so he just kinda mumbles “oh... uh.......”

yoosung panics like

 “god, im sorry, that was so stupid. um. it’s just... been on my mind a lot lately, i guess..? god! ah... forget about that! it was dumb...”  

he covers his eyes and kinda... hunches over. all embarrased and nervous and a little guilty because he doesn’t want to make saeran uncomfortable. he can’t even look at him. poor boy omg

saeran stays quiet for a long time, furrows his brows and chews the nail of his thumb and looks like he’s concentrating on something. after a while he pipes up, so quietly that yoosung can barely hear him

“i don’t think it’s dumb”

yoosung is. shocked. but also immediately hopeful! he perks up!!! looks at his bf incredulously like “you don’t?” 

saeran kinda... talks slowly bc he’s thinking hard about his words and says that he didn’t expect yoosung to bring it up really but he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about it before

so they have an Important, Serious conversation about it and they both make sure that the other is %100 on board with it and ready to just. jump in and do it.

celebratory smooches ensue because they’re cute and happy and excited.

... i forget if yoosung’s place is a dorm or not. if it is, he gets his own apartment.

if it’s not, he stays in his apartment and saeran moves in there.

it’s small and kinda cramped and very far from a “forever home” but they make it work for now!! they’re happy that way... (maybe in the future they get a bigger place, which is nice because it makes it easier for saeran to have some privacy when he needs time alone.)

●  yoosung definitely takes short little videos or vlogs all the time and posts them on youtube and other social media

he takes one the day after they have the conversation mentioned above. and it’s just. “you guys.... i asked my boyfriend to move in and he said yes!! god, i was so scared! tell them how scared i was, saeran!” he points the camera at saeran who is reading a book and he just. 

idk he either just flips off the camera bc he’s busy and doesn’t want to be disturbed...

or

he looks it right at the lens and says “he was scared shitless. he literally shit his pants. it was gross. i had to h---” 

cue video going blurry as yoosung turns the camera away real quick paired with. shocked, loud shrieking. “SAERAN!!! DON’T SAY----” and then the video jsut kinda. cuts off there. 

(he still posts it but with some caption along the lines of “that didn’t actually happen. saeran’s just being a dick”)

and of course, there’s definitely multiple videos of the day they move saeran’s stuff in. yoosung records a bunch and puts them on his snapchat story or w/e... other social media too, so they can look back on them later... 

just cute little clips, like one of saeran’s room with all his stuff in boxes..... one of saeyoung and saeran (and maybe mc) loading stuff up into the car.... one of them putting the boxes in yoosung’s apartment....  a dumb one of saeyoung goofin’ off at yoosung’s place and mc doting on him..

one of saeyoung giving his brother the biggest bear hug ever. just. completely squeezing the life out of him and dramatically pretending to be all emotional (even tho he really is genuinely emotional inside omg) and saeran being annoyed and trying to push him away “god, let me go! you’re suffocating me!”

one where... they’re bringing in the last box.

and finally like. one w/ yoosung turning around to show his whole apartment, boxes everywhere, some of them already half unpacked. “phew... finally finished! the hardest part, anyway”

it’s cute.

●  the little videos are probably a thing that happens every now and then, even after that... he probably snapchats a lot of things in general bbbut a lot of the time it’s just. dumb, random videos of saeran.

some of them are stuff like:

 a close-up of both of them, taken with yoosung’s phone where they’re like “streaming in fifteen! we’re gonna play ____ today.” .... real cute stuff.

or just. shitty phone videos yoosung takes of saeran where like… yoosung says something really sappy joke or pickup line? idk. something really cheesy and terrible and wants to film saeran’s reaction.  and saeran looks over and his expression is just. dead inside. the camera zooms in real close on his face and he whispers “………………. im so sick of this Shi–”  the video cuts off there

probably lots of them chillin and having fun with the whole rfa crew

and. maybe one where the two of them are hanging out with saeyoung and mc and other pals and.. idk. one of them says something funny and they’re all laughing but yoosung zooms in on saeran who just.........ok i imagine that sometimes his more subdued laughs come out as like?? this huffy, kinda wheezy little giggle. he covers his mouth w his hand. and the video captures that. when yoosung posts it, ppl Freak out about it because it’s so uncharacteristically adorable...

there’s videos of them going on trips or just new places in general... going for hikes and exploring maybe.. idk. lots of cute stuff.

saeran takes one of yoosung when they’re at the spca?? or some place like that. idk (i dont like pet stores but maybe a pet store).. and.. yoosung just has his hands and face pressed to a glass partition/window/whatever that has a puppy behind it. maybe multiple puppies. and yoosung turns around w/ the Most desperate, pleading expression anyone has ever seen. (saeran knows he has to say no but it’s so hard omfg)

and obviously there’s lots of little clips of video game stuff. teasers of the game content itself or their playthroughs. maybe a video of one of them sitting on the couch or a computer chair playing a game and getting angry lol.... (or saeran getting frustrated w/ a handheld game that’s supposed to be really calm like... animal crossing. idk sorry i just love the idea of saeran having a 3ds and playing chill games like that to help him relax when he’s anxious omg)

.... there’s also lil videos yoosung takes but he decides that they are private, for his eyes only... little moments like one where they’re getting ready to stream and saeran’s adjusting one of the microphones 

and yoosung quietly says hey to get his attention, and saeran looks over and smiles real big and genuine w/ lots of love and tells him to “Stop goofing around. C’mon, put your phone down and help me finish setting up.” and it’s. sweet and happy and cute... yeah.

.

BUT uh...

yeah!

that’s all for now !!