#cant wait to fuck off and disappear to europe

[starjxsung]

Hello my lovely, lovely Star 💕 I am sorry for disappearing for like two weeks - I was working full time the past two weeks at my speech arts academy (done work for the summer now though!!!)

I'm so glad you're boss has been supportive!!! I hope you've been able to get some rest... work sounds so busy and tiring for you... HOW'S ATEEZ!??!?! I HOPE IT'S AMAZING AND EVERYTHING YOU COULD'VE DREAMED OFFF IM SO EXCITED FOR YOU AND ALL THE CONCERTS I HOPE YOU HAVE AN AMAZING TIMEEE rahhhh I hope you're doing SO GOOD 💖 pls tell me how ur doing I hope you've been taking care 🫶 Life Update: I'm so excited for Europe hehehe I fly out in two daysss ALSO I got my uni courses all figured out now after many days of stress :') As for south africa guy... okay so like we talked about being in something more comitted and stuff (he brought it up) and it was like a good healthy talk and he was super mature about it and bringing it up and making sure I feel comfy and stuff and letting me know like I shouldn't feel any pressure to say or do anything I don't want to and like we've been taking it "slow" cause I expressed uncertainty around it (for various reasons I won't get into) but I was willing to give it a try ... anyways so like we hung out this past weekend and everything was great we texted for the couple days after that but then like four days ago he just... stopped texting. And he hasn't read my messages either ;-; like I know he takes breaks from his phone/being online pretty regularly for like two days at a time so I didn't really worry too much at first tho I was kinda miffed cause I've told him before to let me know if he was gonna go mia but now it's been like four (five?) days and I'm like worried but also upset and like rethinking this whole thing and like idk I know he left for a trip yesterday so now he probably won't get back to be until he's back but why did he just stop texting like three days before his trip??? Like mid convo too... MAN IDK IM SO UPSET BUT ALSO WORRIED ABOUT HIM AHHH anyways, I love you always <3 thank you for being you Star 💖🫶💕 🌱

MY ANGELLLLLLL I hope work was good !!! I can’t believe it’s already done for the summer! Time’s really flying 😦

ATEEZ WAS AMAZINGGGGG my twin sister wasn’t able to make it but I did meet up w my older sister briefly for the LA show and she loved it !!!!!!! I stayed in merch line for 5 hours and I am sunburnt so badly my arms physically sting 😀 worth it for a Seonghwa jersey ofc

I CANT BELIEVE YOU’RE GOING TO EUROPEEEE OH MY GOD THAT’S SO EXCITINGGGG I can’t wait to hear all about it !!!! And I’m glad uni courses are all sorted! Figuring out uni courses is always so stressful I hated it so much in college lmao

Also :((( I get that people can have their reasons for ghosting like that but imo it is SO fucked that people do that after communicating about where the relationship stands. Is he looking for something committed? Or have you both agreed for just something more casual? My ex boyfriend did that after our second date and it felt terrible bc for like 2 days after we had sex he just….. disappeared. And then came back and said he was drinking and sorta off the grid and missing classes and stuff. But I think I cried for 2 days bc I just felt so used. People should just communicate !!! Why they’re ghosting !!!! Instead of leaving their partners to guess :( I’m so sorry he did that and I hope it’s just bc he’s busy or has a genuine excuse. But to leave you hanging like that is just so fucked up imo :(

Keep me posted what happens & I hope you have so much fun in EUROPE in the meanwhile!!!! Try not to stress about him during ur trip, he’s not worth wasting a good trip on if he isn’t a member of skz. I love you so so much !!!! Be safe my angel !! 👼🤞💓💕♥️💜💖💞

[p4nkow]

Maybe someday

A few days ago I rewatched this movie I grew up with which is called “Life as we know it” (I highly recommend you to watch it if you haven’t) and it gave me the inspiration to write this one shot. 

Summary: as Lucy and Rami finally leave for their late honeymoon, they ask Y/N and Ben a huge favour — they have to watch over their daughter, Sophie, for one whole week as they’re away. The only problem is that Y/N and Ben can barely stand each other.

Let me know what you think, I’d love to read your comments!

Anxious. Organised. Schematic. Hater of surprises.

If you had to describe yourself with simple, concise words, those’d have been your choices. Everyone who knew you was well aware of the fact that you tended to plan everything. It wasn’t something you liked to do — plan your life in its very details. You just couldn’t help it. Moreover, it helped you to make your schedule clear as well as your mind.

So when Lucy and Rami told you they had to talk to you, the level that your anxiety had reached could’ve been easily imagined. Their party had been awesome — it had given you the chance to meet old friends and to have a little chitchat with those you hadn’t seen in forever.

It’d have been perfect if it wasn’t for Ben.

Oh man, saying that you didn’t get along was not enough. One of the most important things that’d influenced your relationship was the fact that he’d screwed up your first blind date. First and last date, of course. It didn’t take a genius to understand that he had no wish to be there.

Since that day you’d met him quite often — it was impossible not to when your best friends were married and with a one-year-old child. That’s right. Rami had finally summoned the courage to propose to Lucy and now, almost a year and a half later, they had the most beautiful child you’d ever seen.

Sophie Malek was a feast for the eyes and you loved her. Before her you never understood the endless love people showed towards babies, but damn. It was impossible not to love her.

Ben did love her, too. That’s one of the few things that you appreciated about him.

He was just perfect when around her — always caring and careful about her needs. He’d always play with her and the sight of a grown-up Ben playing with duckies and princesses was quite funny. Funny, yes, but cute. Those were the only times when you were in a cease fire. You just couldn’t bring the little Sophie in your war of jabs.

“What’d you guys need to tell me?”

Rami and Lucy exchanged a look and you didn’t like the little smiles painted in their faces. They were pulling a scam on something and Lucy’s words did nothing but increase your suspicions. “Just wait a bit longer.”

Now that the party was over, it was only you, Lucy, Rami and the little Sophie sprawled in the couches of their living room. “How old are you, Soph? Huh?” The little girl had just learned to show her age with her fingers, raising the index finger at her mom’s question.

Lucy was your best friend, your wingman, your partner in crime, the sister you never had. Your friendship had been going on since high school and now she was a mom. God knows you cried your eyes out the day she gave birth.

The unlocking of the door brought you back from your thoughts and you sighed deeply at the sight of Ben. Even though there was resentment between the two of you, you couldn’t deny that he was good-looking. Extremely good-looking. The leather jacket he was wearing on top of his black shirt made him look even more attractive and you hoped he didn’t catch you staring at his black trousers which fit him perfectly. But why the hell did he always wear black?

“I put the garbage out. I hope I guessed right your can.” He didn’t seem to notice your presence as he closed the door behind him, so you just ignored him.

Then he spotted you sitting on the couch right in front of the couple and gave you just a simple nod. Unfortunately there was no room for him on their couch, so he was forced to sit on yours. He made sure to sit as far from you as possible, though.

“You smell so much of feminine scent that I’m about to throw up.”

Ben gave you one of his smirks and you truly wished you could punch him in the face. “You’re just jealous that it isn’t yours.”

“I pity those girls”, replied in kind. Your words did nothing but amuse him and you rolled your eyes.

“Guys.” Thank God Rami saved the situation as Lucy tried to hide her giggles in Sophie’s neck.

“You wanted to talk to us?”

Rami nodded at Ben’s question, surrounding Lucy’s shoulder with his arm. “Yeah, uhm...”

“Do you remember how we never got to leave for our honeymoon, right?”, Lucy came in his help.

“I remember your complaints about it, yeah.”

Lucy’s smile grew even bigger at your words. “We’d organised this big trip to Europe but then...”

“Sophie happened”, Rami concluded.

You remember it clearly, but still you didn’t understand what was their point. When you turned towards Ben for a quick look, you were glad to see that he was just as confused as you. “And?”

Lucy and Rami exchanged another look as Sophie squeezed her duck. “We’d love to do that trip. As a gift for our first anniversary.” Oh no. Now you knew exactly where this was going.  

“’f course you understand that we can’t take such a trip with a one-year-old child.” Ben widened his eyes at Rami’s words. He was starting to understand too.

“So we wanna ask you”, Lucy started saying but she was interrupted by Rami. “We beg you.”

“Yeah”, Lucy nodded. “We beg you to take care of Sophie as we’re away. You guys are the only ones we trust.”

“Shit, man”, Ben murmured as he slipped his fingers through his hair. It was something he did when he was nervous. Right now he was extremely nervous and you just couldn’t believe what’d you just heard.

“I’m sorry, what?”

Lucy narrowed her brows in worry. “Y/N, please. You know we cant trust our parents.”

“And we can’t trust Joe”, Rami added. Sophie limited herself to follow your conversation with a curious look.

You, on the other hand, still had to process their request. So you turned towards Ben only to find himself staring at you, horrified. “I’m sorry”, he said by picking his tongue out, licking his lower lip. “I’d love to do that. Really, I’d love to. But with her?”

“Oh so you don’t believe I’d be able to take care of a child?”

“I highly doubt it, yes. Let’s face the truth, ‘kay? We can barely stand each other.”

“And so what? It’s Sophie we are talking about.” You forced yourself to keep your tone low not to scare the child.

Ben exhaled deeply and quietly murmured something, so you moved your gaze back to the couple. “I’ll do it.” Now it was personal — you had to show that prick that you could take care of a baby, differently than he thought. With or without him.

Lucy’s smile was still uncertain as she looked at Ben. He seemed conflicted as he rubbed his hands, looking at you first and then at Sophie. His shoulders rise and lower as he sighed deeply, starting to nod his head ‘yes’. “Yeah, I’ll do it, too.”

Rami let out a relief laugh and he placed a kiss on Sophie’s head. Trying to ignore Ben, you stood up from the couch and leaned towards the baby. “Come to auntie, Soph.”

The baby reached up to you and you gladly picked her up, meeting Lucy’s eyes while doing so. “I owe you one.”

She surely did.

“Auntie Y/N will take care of you as mommy and daddy are away”, you whispered as you smiled back at her.

Sophie’s attention was caught by something behind you, her eyes widening in excitement. You knew who she was looking at even before turning around. It was crystal clear that Sophie loved Ben almost as much as he did. He gently caressed her cheek with a sweet smile on his face. “Hi, love.”

“Don’t make me regret it.” Your words were nothing but a whisper as you talked to Ben.

His jaw clenched as he fixed his green eyes on yours. “Sophie’s our priority now.”

“Yeah, exactly”, you said quietly. “So work your shit out.”

“Hey, Soph. What a bad aunt is auntie Y/N, right? She even swears in front of you.”

You rolled your eyes at Ben’s words and, making sure that Sophie wasn’t looking at you, you mouthed “Fuck off.”

Day One - Monday

Part of the deal was to move at Lucy and Rami’s place for the entire duration of their trip. It was mostly because you didn’t want Sophie to feel completely disoriented as her parents were away.

You murmured a series of “Huh-huh”, “‘kay” and “Yeah” as Lucy showed you were to find the diapers, the baby bath tub, the meals and the toys. She even revealed you a tip on how to calm her down when she was nervous.

Turns out that Sophie loved the noise of the kitchen hood.

For the whole time Ben chatted with Rami in the dining room, giving a look at Sophie sleeping in the playpen every now and then, and you truly hoped that he’d have given you some help in this. Things presaged nothing good.

“I’ll FaceTime you every night”, Lucy promised.

“You already said that.”

“The emergency numbers are on the kitchen peninsula.”

“I know, Luce. You showed me.” Your words came muffled at her ears as you hugged her. “Do I have your permission to kick Ben in the balls if he misbehaves?”

“You behave.” Lucy wiggled her nose as she giggled and turned towards Rami, who was standing right next to her.

He leaned towards you to give you a hug and he whispered to your hear “You have my permission.”

His words made you giggle and you gained a glaring from Ben. “What?”

“You smell of baby puke.”

You held back a middle finger as you waved at Lucy and Rami who were now walking away.

As their car disappeared from your sight, you silently closed the front door, trying not to wake Sophie up, and then turned towards Ben. “What?”, he asked by raising a brow in a questioning look.

“We need a schedule.”

Ben slowly blinked, giving you a confused look. “’m sorry?”

“Come with me.”

Five minutes later you were both sitting at the stools of the peninsula, one facing the other, with a beer on one hand and the awareness that it was going to be a very long week.

Ben took a sip of his drink as you twirled a marker between your fingers, looking at the blank white board. “Hopefully we’re gonna make it before Sophie turns two”, he commented with a smirk.

Half an hour. You’d been in his presence for half an hour and you already wanted to punch him. Nevertheless you ignored his comment, starting to write on the board as you said without looking at him “I work three days a week: Monday, Wednesday and Friday from eight to twelve. This means that you’ll have to take care of Sophie all by yourself.”

When you looked up at him, his brows were narrowed. “What now?”, you asked in annoyance.

“I want free days, too.”

“I don’t have free days.”

“Yeah, but you go to work. Those ones count as free days.”

Sighing deeply helped you to keep calm. “Okay, then. What do you suggest?”

“Sunday night.”

“I’m not spending a Sunday night all by myself, Ben.”

His smirk was a hint on what his next comment was going to be. “I’m pretty sure that you spent lots of Saturday nights all by yourself, love. When was the last time you got laid?”

“Mind your own business”, you immediately replied.

Ben giggled at your reply and you tried not to stare at his lips as he took another sip of his beer. “And what if I don’t take any other free days? Only this Saturday night.”

His suggestion was reasonable — you bit your lower lip as you thought about it, narrowing your eyes. Why’d he do something like that?

That’s what you asked him. “Why?”

He limited himself to shrug at your question. Not that you were expecting an answer from him. “Fine, then. You got this Saturday night.”

A few moments of silence passed as you wrote on the board and the marker made a shrill sound at every word. “We didn’t think this through.”

Here we go again.

You couldn’t help but throw at him an annoyed glance, sighing deeply as you placed your elbows on the counter and leaned towards him. “Ben.”

“Share the place, both sleep-deprived? ’t sounds like a compelling psych experiment.”

“We cannot draw back now, ‘kay? We’re pretty deep in this.”

His green eyes stared at you for a few moments, still processing your words. It wasn’t a problem of yours if he had an issue with you. Both of you had agreed to do that — how could you say no to Rami and Lucy?

Ben exhaled deeply and leaned towards the back of the chair, moving his gaze away from you. You’d won the argument for now.

There were lots of other things to plan and to write down on the whiteboard and you were about to say it when a little squeak, followed by a little crying caught both yours and Ben’s attention. He gave you a disoriented look and you hurried to stand up, leaving the board still unfinished as you moved in the other room.

“Hi, honey. Hey.” Sophie was standing on the playpen, her beautiful eyes a bit teary.

Ben’d followed you to the room. “Hey, look at the sleepyhead.”

His expression had completely changed — he seemed another person when talking to Sophie and you could barely believe he was the same man who’d earlier told you you smelled like baby puke. Sophie reached up to him and he was about to walk towards her, but you placed a hand on his shoulder and said “Wait, don’t pick her up.”

His brows narrowed in confusion. “Why?”

“Because she needs to learn how to self-soothe.” Ben looked at you like if you were mad.

“She needs to what?” His yes were narrowed and they seemed even darker than usual.

“Self-soothe”, you repeated. “Soothe herself.”

Ben stuck out his tongue and gestured towards you. “And why’d she do that?”

“I read it, Ben. It’s important. Let’s just give it a minute.”

The way he shook his head made you believe that he thought you were nuts; nevertheless, he did as you said. So you were both standing right in front of the playpen, waiting for Sophie to calm down all alone.

But she didn’t, so an idea came up to your mind. “Five little ducks went out one day, over the hill and far away”, you started to sing in an uncertain voice. You looked at Ben with the corner of your eye and he had an amused smile on his face. “Mother duck said, ‘Quack, quack, quack, quack’ but only four little ducks came back.”

“One, two, three, four. Four little ducks went out one day...” Ben’d started to sing along with you as you tried to impress Sophie with your dance moves. “I don’t remember it”, he whispered to you.

Sophie wasn’t particularly impressed by your singing skills, given that she was still softly crying. The sight of her teary eyes’d become unbearable so — unlike what you’d told Ben — you leaned towards her and picked her up. “I think she’s hungry. Yup, I’m gonna feed her. Let’s go eat, love.”

“I though we weren’t picking her up!”, you heard Ben saying as you walked away.

Day Two - Tuesday

Sophie’d fallen asleep in your arms. Her beautiful blonde hair made her seem angelic as she dreamed and you gently grazed her cheek. You didn’t want her to wake up because of you, but it was impossible not to caress her when se looked so peaceful.

Eventually you forced yourself to let her sleep in peace and you decided to get some work done. You’d been highlighting titles over titles for an hour when you heard the front door unlocking.

Shortly after Ben came into your view and you placed a finger on your lips, silently telling him not to wake Sophie up. His eyes immediately went to the baby sleeping in your arms and his features relaxed at that view. Then he looked up at you with an expression that you’d never seen in his face. Not when he looked at you.

But he quickly looked away, carrying the bags into the kitchen before joining you in the dining room.

He sat far from you, but on the same couch. You could feel his gaze following your movements as you tried to get your work done, and when you looked at him you noticed a strand of golden hair that had fallen on his forehead.

“What you up to?” His words were nothing but a whisper.

You gave a quick look at Sophie before turning your gaze to him. “Some paperwork.”

“Right, work.” His tone made you narrow your brows.

And even though the grey sweater that he was wearing made you feel things, you ignored those feelings and asked “Why did you say it with such irony?”

“You run a bookstore.” As if it was an explanation.

“And what with that?”

If Ben’d realised that his words might’ve hurt you, he didn’t show it. “It’s a bookstore.”

“I love my job, you asshole.”

Then you suddenly realised that Ben was just teasing you. The little smirk on his face couldn’t be misunderstood. “Language, love. Last thing we need is Sophie’s first word to be ‘asshole’.”

You shook your head in amusement and even though you were trying so hard not to, your gaze fell to his lips. It’d happened many times for you to think about his lips, how soft they seemed to be. Usually Ben’d dampen those moment with a jab of his or a perv comment just to drive you nuts. But not this time.

“Ben?”

By hearing your whispers Ben moved his gaze from your lips to your eyes. “Yeah?”

You didn’t want to ruin the moment, but you did it anyways. “Do you smell that?”

His brows narrowed in confusion. You nodded towards Sophie, who was still sleeping peacefully, and Ben leaned towards the baby to sniff on her. “Oh my God.” His face twitched in disgust and he quickly leaned back.

“Did she finally—“

“Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I think she... She sure did.” The expression on his face was hilarious.

“Ben”, you said with an amused smile.

When he turned towards you, in his face there still was a disgusted expression. “What?”

“Don’t be a pussy. It’s just poop.” Ben sighed and you giggled.

But then it was time for you to change her diaper. Sophie laid in the changing table, looking at the two of you with a little smile on her face. The problem was, neither of you had the courage to face all that poop. “Remind me again why we agreed on this”, you whispered.

Ben gave you the typical ‘what’d I say?’ look but said “Because we are great friends and now Rami and Lucy owe us a big one.”

“And because we love Sophie”, you added.

Ben slowly nodded at your words, a tiny smile appearing on his face. “Yeah, we love this little one.”

“And because uncle Benny’s the best”, you started by taking a step away from him. “He’s gonna be the one to change your diaper. Right, Sophie? Isn’t he the best?”

“What?”

“Oh c’mon, Ben.”

Ben threw his hands in the air. “Why me?”

“Why me?”

Ben sighed again. “Let’s make a team effort, ‘kay?”

You just couldn’t say no when he showed you his puppy eyes. Bastard. “Fine”, you gave up. “I’ll undress her.”

As you unbuttoned her bodysuit, Sophie gave you a big smile. “You’re lucky I love you”, you whispered to her and you heard Ben giggle behind you.

When she was finally free from her leotard, you turned towards Ben. “Your turn.”

“Already?”

“Yeah, already. C’mon.”

He stood right next to you. “It’s a weird smell, right?”

“Why do you always complain? Go ahead.”

“Fine, fine. It can’t be that hard, can it?” He gave you a hopeful look and you giggled.

“It’s something you can take off the checklist”, you said as you tried to hold back a laugh.

“Yeah.” He carefully approached his hands on the diaper but it was crystal clear the fact that he had no idea how to do it.

“What are you doing?”

“I don’t know. It’s not a bra that I’m taking off a girl, it’s a diaper.” The way he underlined the last words made you laugh.

“It’s not a surgery, just undo the tabs.”

Ben’s hands, so big compared to the little Sophie, were now following your instructions. As soon as the tabs were undone and Sophie was finally free from the dirty diaper, the smell came to you even stronger than before. “Oh my God.”

“What’d I tell you?”, Ben asked with a disgusted expression.

“It’s burning my eyes.”

“We have to clean her up.”

“Yeah, I know.” Trying not to throw up, you quickly took Ben’s place. “Can you please me hand me the baby wipes?”

As you gently held Sophie’s feet up not to dirty her and to clean her better, you hurried to get rid of all that smelling poop. “She didn’t eat enough to produce that”, Ben commented as he watched you.

“Stop it or I’ll throw up.” You gave him a quick look from above your shoulder and Ben smiled back at you. “Another one, please.”

Wiper after wiper, you finally managed to get her clean. Yours and Ben’s reaction did nothing but amuse Sophie, who was giggling with the biggest smile on her face. “Are you having fun, huh?”

“She’s as wit as her mother”, Ben whispered.

After getting rid of the dirty diaper and having Sophie clean and fragrant, you picked her up from the changing table. “What do you say, Sophie? You want uncle Ben?”

“Didn’t hear that”, Ben tried to cut himself off.

“I did hear it, though. Go to uncle Ben, my love.” Sophie reached up to him and Ben grabbed her, giving her the biggest smile you’d ever seen. As you tried to tidy up the room, you heard Ben saying as he walked away “Say Uncle Ben. It’s easy, love. B-e-n.”

Day three - Wednesday

The house was silent. Too silent. That’s why you tried to close the front door as quietly as possible — maybe Sophie was sleeping. Or maybe Ben was. All the bags and books you took home from work were long forgotten on the table as you checked every room of the ground floor to find them.

As you walked upstairs the theme song of Peppa Pig came crystal clear to your ears. It was the hint you needed to know exactly where they were.

“Wow, that was a really good episode.” Who was Ben talking to?

But, more importantly, was he really talking about Peppa Pig?

“Y’know, what I really love about Peppa is that even when everything seems to go wrong and they scr— blow, they blow things up, this funny man keeps saying ‘Oh dear’ or ‘Look out’.” His words made you giggle but you tried not to make any noise.  “Auntie Y/N should follow my example, don’t you think? I’m such a good uncle, right Soph?”

You were now standing against the doorframe, watching Ben sprawled on the soft ottoman as he talked to Sophie in a very serious tone, gesturing towards her. The little girl seemed to follow his conversation, letting out little squeaks of excitement every now and then.

“Too bad that aunt Y/N is way better than you.”

Ben turned towards you by hearing your words and gave you a lazy smile. “How long have you been there?”

“Long enough to hear you talking about Peppa Pig. Oh dear!”

You loved to tease him.

“Oh, shut up.” Despite his words, Ben was smiling in amusement.

You took a few steps towards the baby, kneeling in front of her. “Hi, love. How did uncle Ben treat you, uh? Was he good?”

“I’m the best. Look at her, she’s ecstatic.” Sophie squeaked in excitement, trying to say something as she proved Ben’s point.

“What do you think of a bath? Would you like that?”

Once again, Sophie mumbled some incomprehensible words. They made sense to her, though. “Is that a yes?”, you asked Ben, who limited himself to shake his head as if saying ‘I really have no idea.’

Not being able to decipher Sophie’s words, you took them as a yes. Sophie was now in Ben’s arms as you prepared everything to bath her. Every now and then you threw them a few looks from above your shoulder only to find Ben being completely focused on her, trying to make her giggle by tickling her.

“How was work?”, he asked you as you both waited for the tub to fill up.

You bit your lower lip and gave him an amused look. “Oh, now you care?”

“I was just trying to make conversation”, he quickly replied and shrugged.

His words made you sigh deeply, shutting the faucet and checking the water temperature. “’t was fine, I guess. A bit exhausting. Thanks for asking.”

Sophie loved water. Literally, she loved it. She got all excited when taking a bath and started to spray the water everywhere. Needless to say that both you and Ben were soaking wert as you tried to clean her up. “C’mon, Soph. Just wait for a second”, you almost begged.

“Where the hell is the bloody duck she loves so much”, Ben murmured as he looked for the toy everywhere in the bathroom.

“Language, Ben.”

Ben laughed. Hard. It was probably the first time you heard him laughing like that and you loved that sound. “That’s rich coming from you.”

You mimicked him and gave him a look as you held Sophie. He was sticking out his tongue like he used to do, a proud smile on his face as he held Sophie’s duck. “Look what uncle Ben found, love.”

Sophie became even more excited at the sight of her toy, trying to take it from Ben’s hands when he came closer to you. “Would you hold her? I need to remove all the foam with the shower head.”

He didn’t hesitate to answer “Yeah, sure.” So he gently grabbed her and lifted her, holding her far from his body as he waited for you to wash her.

“Look, Sophie. Uncle Ben’s afraid of getting wet.” If Sophie protested when Ben got her out of the tub, now she was relaxing under the jet of the water.

“I’m already wet.” Dangerous choice of words.

“Then”, you started in an angelic tone. “You wouldn’t mind if I did this, right?” You splashed a bit of water in his face.

Ben was tempted to retract from the jet but Sophie needed to be cleaned. So he bit his lower lip and said in an amused tone “You’re lucky I’m holding the baby.”

“Or what?”

You giggled at the look he gave you and you wrapped Sophie in her bathrobe, taking her from Ben’s arms and holding her close to your chest. “You can’t revenge now. I’m holding the baby.”

“I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.”

You gently rubbed Sophie’s back, leaving a few kisses on her cheeks as you told Ben “Nice movie quote.”

Day Four - Thursday

“Okay, Sophie. I’m almost done, hold on.” The baby food you’d lovingly prepared for the little girl looked nothing like Lucy’s. It tasted good, though. You made sure of it before taking a seat in front of her, ready to feed her.

“She’s not a food critic, she’s a one-year-old”, Ben commented as he watched you. He was leaning against the stool, his arms crossed in his chest as he gave you a sceptic look. Each passing day did nothing but confirm you that he only wore black. The dark hoodie he was wearing was a proof of that.

“She might not be a food critic but sure as hell she doesn’t like my cooking.” And it was true — no matter how much you tried to make her open her mouth and eat her food, she just wouldn’t. “C’mon, Soph. It tastes so good, you’ll love it.”

Ben loudly giggled from where he was standing. “She had the guts to tell you that your cooking sucks.”

“My cooking is amazing. You ate almost half of the roast beef that day at the party”, you protested.

Ben raised a brow. “Did you cook it?”

“’f course I did.” You tried again to feed Sophie but all you managed to do was to get her dirty. You groaned in frustration and sighed deeply.

Five seconds later your attention was caught by the ringing of Ben’s phone. He took it from his pocket and gave a look at the screen before moving his green eyes on you. You raised your brow in a silent question and he bit his lips, walking out of the room and getting the phone out in the backyard.

Sophie finally ate the first spoonful of her meal and as you slowly fed her, your mind started to run wild. Who was he talking to? Was it one of his dates? But then you convinced yourself that it was none of your business.

“Good girl, Soph. Do you like it? Is it good?”, you whispered as you wiped her mouth. Sophie clapped her hands in excitement and it made you genuinely smiled. “Where’s mommy? Say mommy. Mommy”, you repeated slowly for her to understand.

A few minutes had passed before Ben came back into the room. “Did she eat?”

“Just a little bit”, you replied without looking at him.

“She doesn’t like your cooking for real, huh?” Ben was just teasing you but, for a reason that you didn’t know yet, you were pissed at him.

So as you put away the plate on the sink you limited to say “Huh-huh.”

“Y/N?” As you heard him calling you by your name you gave him a quick look. His brows were narrowed in a frown.

“What?”

“What’s wrong?” It was probably the first time that Ben was concerned about you.

You sighed and you turned towards him, drying your hands. “Let’s establish a rule.”

“What rule?” He gave you a confused look.

“The week’s almost over. Let’s spend it peacefully.”

He gestured with his hand while saying “Is that the rule?”

You were starting to get used to the tiny lines forming around his eyes whenever he narrowed them in a confused expression. “No. The rule is that we don’t get to bring dates here in this house. Not around Sophie. I know it’s hard for you to hold on for a whole week, but you’ve got this Saturday night off.”

It was for Sophie’s sake, right?

“Wha— is it because of the phone call?”

You shrugged. “Maybe.”

Ben quickly rubbed his eyes, taking a step towards you. “It was Joe.”

Oh.

You stuttered before saying “It’s the principle that matters.”

“Fine. No dates here.”

A nod is all you gave him as a confirmation before turning towards Sophie. Giving her a better look you said “Ben.”

“Hum?” He followed your gaze to the kid and his eyes widened. “She’s making the look.”

“Yeah, that’s the look”, you confirmed. Not shortly after Sophie started to cry. Loudly and uncontrollably. “Your turn”, you told Ben as you stepped aside.

You heard him sighing as he picked her up, rocking her gently on his chest as he tried to soothe her. “C’mon, be good for uncle Ben”, he whispered as he started to walk around the room.

Your gaze ran over the kitchen and it fell on the hood. “I’ve got an idea.”

Ben limited himself to give you a questioning look and you gestured towards the hood. Still, he didn’t understand. Right, he wasn’t with you when Lucy told you that Sophie loved the noise of the hood. “C’mere”, you whispered as you turned on the extractor fan.

“What are you doing?”, he asked, but he did as you told him.

Now Sophie was softly crying and you tapped Ben on his shoulder, making him sign to lean closer to the hood. The kid’s attention was immediately caught by the noise. Even though she’d stopped crying, her eyes were still a bit teary. It was working.

“Rock her”, you whispered.

Ben looked at you. His green eyes were fixed on yours and you suddenly realised that you were close. Maybe too close. Your chest was touching his arm and his face was just a few inches away from yours. Once again your gaze fell to his lips and for the first time you didn’t care if you were staring at him.

But then Ben cleared his voice and moved his gaze to Sophie. As he gently rocked her he started to sing in a soft voice, trying to get her to sleep “But I’m a creep, I’m a weirdo.”

You had to cover your mouth not to burst out into laughter. “What are you doing?”

“Everybody loves Radiohead.”

Day Five - Friday

“You went groceries literally three days ago. I can’t believe you forgot all this stuff”, you complained as looked at the shelves.

The three of you had gotten in the supermarket not even fifteen minutes ago and your shopping cart was already full. “’s not like I know what’s on Lucy and Rami’s pantry.”

Ben was pushing the cart without paying attention to what you put in it — his eyes were for Sophie only. She was in a good mood and Ben did nothing but improve the situation by playing with her.

“Does she like peaches?” You gave him a quick look from above your shoulder.

Ben was in a good mood, too, given that he gave you a big smile. Maybe you should go often together to the grocery store.

“Why don’t you ask her?”, he proposed.

Opening a jar of peach jelly, you made her smell it. She wiggled her nose in a disgusted expression and she shook her head. “You don’t like it, huh?”

“Huh-huh”, she replied and her expression made you giggle.

“Told you”, Ben said. “She’s as wit as her mother.”

Sophie smelled at least other three other flavours before picking her favorite — apricot. “Really? Apricot?”

“Apricots are a gift from God.” Ben’s words surprised you.

You had a stupid smile on your face as you said “D’ya like them?”

“I love them.” He underlined the word ‘love’ and you shook your head in amusement.

“Y/N?” Hearing that someone was calling you by your name, you turned your back to Ben to face the stranger.

“Nick?” One of your friends from college — whom you hadn’t seen in forever — was standing right in front of you.

“Wow, I thought I was wrong”, you heard him saying as he hugged you.

You couldn’t tell why, but you felt uncomfortable.

“It’s me”, you said with a nervous smile.

Nick’s gaze moved behind you and you followed him. “Is she—?”

“Huh?”

Nick cleared his voice. “Is she your daughter?”

“Wha— no! No, no. Ehm, she’s Lucy’s. And he’s Ben.”

“His husband”, Ben added with a polite smile.

You parted your lips in a confused expression as he shook Nick’s hand. “He’s not—”

You couldn’t even finish your sentence that Ben asked him “College mates, right?”

Nick nodded. “Yeah. Haven’t seen each other in forever, though.”

“Yeah”, you confirmed. The truth was that you were still trying to process Ben’s lie.

“How long have you guys been married? I didn’t know anything about it.”

Ben smirked at Nick’s question. He moved next to you and put his arm around your shoulders, giving you the biggest smile you’d ever seen on his face. His cologne smelled so good that it almost made you forget his lie.

Did he want to play that game? Fine by you.

As he held you close to him, your arm surrounded his hips and you faked a smile. “Oh, just for a few months. It was a small ceremony”, Ben said with a fake smile and you pinched him. A low, deep groan came from his throat but your actions had the opposite effect you wanted to provoke.

Ben was amused.

Even though Nick was still there, you’d almost forgotten about him. “Oh, it sounds so cool. I’m so happy about you guys.”

Thankfully you both didn’t get the chance to answer him because Sophie started to squeak in excitement at the sight of a dog. You took the chance to slip away from Ben’s grip and you approached the kid as you said to Nick with an apologetic smile “’m sorry, Nick. We’re kinda in a hurry. It was nice seeing you again.”

As Nick walked away you nudged Ben. “Idiot. C’mon, push the cart.”

“Don’t be such a bossy, wifey.”

You playfully pushed him away when he tried to come closer to you and then you asked “What was that?”

Ben smirked. “I was just making sure you wouldn’t bring any dates home.”

Since when Lucy and Rami’s place had become home?

Even though you’d spent the last week together, the grocery store gave you the opportunity to fin out new things about him. Like the fact that he likes cereal with no milk or thwart he would gladly mop the floor a hundred times rather than loading the dishwasher.

Once gotten home, you also found out that he hated making two trips while carrying the bags. And he made it very clear by complaining the whole time.

“What do you want for dinner?”, you asked as you hoped you were guessing right where to put all the food you’d bought.

Ben was taking care of Sophie as you tidied the pantry. His voice came muffled as he proposed from the other room “How about we order a pizza?”

“Yeah, fine.”

Where the hell did Lucy put the mayonnaise?

You were still trying to unload the groceries in the kitchen when you heard Ben’s voice. “Y/N?”

The tone of his voice made you worry. “Yeah?”

“She’s walking.” Maybe you misheard him.

“What?”

“She’s walking!”

The bags forgotten right in the middle of the kitchen almost made you stumble as you hurried to move to the dining room. Ben had his back to you, his arms arms stretched out towards the baby.

Sophie was standing on her own feet and a big smile was printed on her face. “Oh my God she’s walking.”

Ben gave you a quick look by hearing your whispers and you noticed a big, enthusiastic smile on his face. He was genuinely happy and for the first time ever the idea of Ben as a dad didn’t seem too abstract.

“Come to auntie, Soph. Come.” Her attention was caught by you and Ben quickly moved behind her, ready to catch her if she fell.

Step by step, Sophie came to you and hugged you with so much love that you almost cried. You couldn’t help but kiss her and as you still held her in your arms you told Ben “FaceTime Lucy. She’ll kill us if she misses it.”

Five minutes later, the three of you sat on the carpet and Lucy was waving at you with a toothy smile on her face. “Hi my love! Hi Sophie!”

“Where’s Rami?”, Ben asked her. He didn’t want his friend to miss it.

“Ugh”, Lucy gave a quick look behind her, probably looking for his husband. “He’s probably taking a shower. How are you guys? How’s my baby?”

“We’re fine. But you gotta take a look at this.” You just couldn’t hold the excitement in your tone. Lucy was beyond excited at your words — you could see it from her eyes. “Just wait a sec.”

Ben stood up as you gave him a pat on the shoulder and he moved right in front of you, far enough for Sophie to take a few steps on her own. The camera was now turned towards him, showing his arms stretched out towards the baby. “Come to uncle Ben, Sophie. C’mere”, he encouraged her.

Lucy narrowed her brows. “Y/N what—”

“Just wait”, you cut her off. “C’mon, Soph. Go to uncle Ben.”

Sophie’s eyes gave you an excited look and she clapped her hands. She slowly leaned towards the sofa, holding on it as she struggled to get on her own feet. When she finally did, Lucy’s eyes were widened and her lips were forming a perfect ‘O’ before whispering “Oh my God.”

When Sophie started to take little steps towards Ben — who’d the biggest smile on his face as he made sure Sophie wouldn’t fall — Lucy said out loud “Rami! For the love of God, Rami! Come here!”

Her excited tone made you chuckle and you heard a loud thud from the other side of the call. Ben heard it too and gave you a quick, confused look before moving his gaze back to the baby.

Rami was now standing right next to Lucy, his hair wet and his eyes widened in confusion. But then he saw his daughter walking on her own feet and he looked at Lucy with so much love that it almost made you cry.

Inevitably your gaze fell to Ben, who was now hugging Sophie and whispering “You did really good, love. You did great.”

The sight of a sweet, soft Ben made you think about your situation. Maybe, after all, spending all that time together had improved your relationship. Or maybe you were just fantasising.

Day Six - Saturday

It’d been a hell of a night. Sophie cried for most of it and it was impossible for you to understand why, given that she still couldn’t talk. Both you and Ben tried to calm her down with anything, but not even the hood kicked in.

Eventually she fell asleep at 8AM and as she rested peacefully in her bedroom, you realised you might as well stay awake. As you were about to make you a coffee, you heard footsteps approaching you.

Ben was rubbing his sleepy eyes, trying to force himself to stay awake. His hair was messier than usual and the shirt he used as pjs was wrinkled.

“Did you check on her?”, you asked in a low tone. To be honest, you felt like shit.

He cleared his voice and nodded his head ‘yes’, taking a seat on the stool of the peninsula. “She’s sleeping.” His tone was just as low as yours.

Sophie had worn you both out.

“Would you like a coffe?”

By giving him a look from above his shoulder, you noticed he was nodding. “Yeah, thanks.”

Five minutes later you were sitting one right in front of the other, just like the very first day. This time he hadn’t the strength to throw jabs at you, though.

“Thank god it’s Saturday.” His sea-glass eyes stared at you for a few seconds.

The hotness of the cup of coffee was warming you cold hands. “Yeah. We did it, right?”

“Yeah... but I’m never doing it again.”

You narrowed your brows at his tone. “Why?”

Ben gave you a condescending look. “If you haven’t noticed, running a baby’s not like running a bookstore.”

“Are we back at it again?”, you asked in an annoyed tone.

Ben started to gesture. “They’re a mess. They pee on things. They bite and they poop a lot.”

“They’re babies.”

And then Ben snapped. You knew that sooner or later he would’ve, because it was Ben we’re talking about. “I had plans this week. Business meetings. I gave up everything to give you a hand with it and play this part.”

“I never asked you to do it! I never asked for your help. And ‘play this part’? Are you serious, Ben? That’s what this is to you?” Hopefully Sophie wouldn’t wake up. As much as you were both trying to keep your tone low, you were in the middle of an argument.

“We’re living in the same house, watching over a kid that isn’t ours and we’re acting like we’re married but we are not.”

“So you’ve been pretending, huh. Have you been pretending with Sophie?” Bet stuck his tongue out, slipping his fingers through his hair as he usually did when he was nervous or upset. And right now he was both. “No, I love Sophie.”

“So just me, then.” It was destroying you the fact that your words sounded like a whine, but you were hurt.

Ben narrowed his brows in a confused expression and his lips parted. “Y/N—“

“You know what, Ben? I shouldn’t have said yes. I should’ve known that you and I aren’t the ideal pairing to take care of a baby. I knew we weren’t a good pairing at all when you left me alone in my fucking car two years ago.” You finally had the chance to tell him how much he hurt you when he screwed up your first blind date. He had to know how much it had influenced your relationship.

“It’s been two years ago!” He threw his arms in the air.

“Yeah, and look at us now. You could’ve just told me you didn’t feel like it, but no. You had to be a dick.”

“’m sorry if I didn’t feel like going to a blind date a month after I broke up with my long-term girlfriend.” Now he was being sarcastic.

And now you were really mad. “How the fuck was I supposed to know!” Your tone was higher than you expected so you took a deep breath to calm down, not wanting to wake Sophie up. “It was my first date in a year. I never let Lucy set me up for dates but for the first time I did. I did and I regret it. Look how it ended up.”

“I told Rami not to do it.”

“I don’t care, Ben. You could’ve managed it better. All you did instead was calling another girl as you were with me, because all you care about is getting laid.” Even though your tone was low, your words were ice cold.

Ben slowly shook his head, his hurt expression quickly replaced by the one you knew so well. “You shouId get Iaid yourself. Except to have sex, you gotta find somebody who can stand you first.”

“Fuck you.”

“Yeah”, he muttered as he stood up.

“You know what? Take all the fucking Saturday as your free day because I can’t even stand looking at you right now.”

And he did. The day went by and Ben hadn’t come back yet. You were trying to convince yourself that you could do it on your own for another day. Sophie seemed to understand that your mood wasn’t one of the best and she behaved like she never did before. She even ate all her meal, which was new to you.

Lucy called at some stage in the evening and she showed you the amazing architecture of Florence. It seemed like they were having a good time and there was no point in making them worry, so you didn’t even mention Ben.

But she did. “Where’s Ben?”

You rubbed your nose, trying to find a believable excuse for his absence. “He went to the grocery’s.”

“How many groceries are you guys buying? It looks like you spend whole days at the mall.”

“No, uh — we ran out of ketchup. We’re having burgers tonight, ketchup is essential.”

She seemed to notice that something was wrong — here brows were narrowed and her eyes were giving you a condescending look. Yet, she didn’t say anything and you closed the call a few minutes after.

It was night by now and Sophie was finally sleeping. You, on the other hand, just couldn’t fall asleep. That’s why you spent almost half an hour channel surfing, ending up watching Love Island. In extremis...

But then the click of the look caught your attention and even though you hadn’t yet turned towards the front door, you knew it was Ben. His cologne couldn’t have been mistaken.

You gave him a quick look from above your shoulder only to meet his beautiful, puppy eyes. Even though you were still pissed at him, you couldn’t keep ignoring your feelings.

He sat right next to you, remaining quiet for the first few seconds. It was him who broke the silence. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry, too. I shouldn’t have said those things” you whispered as you turned towards him.

His elbows were resting on his thighs as he rubbed his hands together. “You were right, I’ve been a prick. I should’ve talked to you back then. You would’ve understood the situation.”

“Yeah...”

“And I’m sorry I’ve been distant all this time. I knew I fucked things up that day in your car and when I realised it I... it was too late. I just wanted you to like me back, but you wouldn’t have. Not after how I treated you.”

“But I did! I still do, Ben.”

And it was the truth. No matter how many times you’ve tried to convince yourself that you despised him and that you just didn’t get along. You liked him.

His green eyes were staring at your lips for the umpteenth time that week, but this time was different because Ben placed his own on yours. His hand was resting on your neck and the softness of his touch gave you the goosebumps. When you leaned towards him to deepen the kiss, his touch became even more secure as he come closer to you.

You’d fantasised many times on how it’d feel to kiss Ben, but now that you were really doing it, it exceeded all expectations.

When you leaned back from his lips, a big smile appeared on his face. One of the smiles he reserved for Sophie only. You snuggled against him, his arm surrounding your waist as he kept your body close to yours.

There were tons of situations yet to be clarified, but you both stood quiet for the rest of the night, bodies close but hearts even closer.

Day Seven — Sunday

Last day. On one hand you were sorry to leave Sophie — you’d gotten used to her habits and rhythms, but on the other hand you couldn’t wait to go back to your old life. 

Scratch that.

You couldn’t wait to go back to your new life with Ben.

“You done? They’re almost here”, Ben told you as he held Sophie.

As you put the duck away, the one that Sophie loved so much and that drove you insane, you nodded your head ‘yes’. “Yeah. The house should be okay.”

And now the three of you were waiting on the porch for Lucy and Rami to come home. Sophie was beyond excited to meet her parents again and she showed it by walking around the house. Ben had to follow her everywhere, given that she wasn’t still 100% steady on her feet.

“Here they are!”, you told Sophie who was walking around the dining room. “Mom and daddy are here, Soph!”

She clapped her hands, making Ben chuckle as he accompanied her to the front door where you were standing. His green eyes met yours as a loud thud came from Lucy and Rami’s car, who were now shutting the doors and hurrying inside.

Lucy’s eyes immediately went to her daughter, who was standing on her own feet right in front of you. She hugged her, kissed her and held her close to her chest as she whispered lovely words. Rami left a soft kiss on her head before looking up to you and Ben.

When he noticed that you were standing right next to each other with bigs smiles on your faces, he narrowed his eyes and smirked. “What did I miss?”

“Uhm — nothing, really.” But the look Ben gave you made you chuckle. Rami was more than sure that he missed a lot, especially when Ben’s arm surrounded your waist.

“Oh wow”, Lucy whispered as she stood up, holding her baby in her arms. “You guys need to fill me in on what happened between you two.”

“Sophie happened”, you said with a sweet smile, looking at the baby who was in awe for her mother.

”Y’know”, Rami started saying. “You’d make great parents. Sophie loves you guys.”

“Yeah”, Ben murmured. “Maybe someday.”

[blkgirlcafe]

Home Pt. 6

Viktor Drago x Cyra (Black OFC)

Cyra (Ky-Ra) -Sun or throne

Kazimir (Kah-Zee-Meer) - Bringer or Announcer of peace

Viktor Drago is married to the love of his life, they have a 5 year old son. He is willing to do anything to keep them safe.

Warning: Kidnapping, abuse, mentions of child abuse

Flashback 5

After that encounter they didn't speak for weeks, they caught each other looking at each other, but for the most part they didn't say anything. One night she came in late, just as he was about to leave, he decided to stay and do a few more around. She went from cardio to free weights and finally her sit ups. As she was doing sit ups, a guy approached her, towering over her. 

Viktor couldn't hear what he was saying but could see the panic on her face. The guy reached out to touch her hair, and Cyra tried to smack it away. Viktor abandoned the sparring bag, approaching her. 

“Dostatnʹo.” Viktor spoke (Enough)

“tse vasha poviya Drago?” the guy laughed. (This your whore Drago?)

“Zalysh yiyi, i ya poshkoduyu tebe.” (Leave her alone and I will spare you.)

Viktor knew his reputation, he had a reputation for being an animal. All he knew was violence and no one wanted to mess with that. He had very little regard for life, his own or others, and people were afraid of that. The guy walked away grumbling, leaving Cyra alone. 

“Thanks.” He helped her get up. Cyra dusted her hands on her pants, “Sorry for snapping on your a few weeks ago, I am just, I don't know.'' She gathered her stuff and started to walk out. 

“Wait!” he didn't mean to yell, “I will walk you home.”

She smiled at him, “You don't have to.”

“I want to, let me get my stuff.” Viktor scrambled to grab his gym bag, stuffing his sweaty clothes in it. He opened the door for her, taking her bag as she walked past. 

“Thanks.”

“No problem. I really am sorry I disappeared for two weeks, I didn't want Ivan to make me.”

“It's so weird to me you call him Ivan and not dad.” she shrugged. 

Viktor shrugged in response, it never occurred to him. 

“I miss home, I miss my brothers.” She said suddenly. The whole walk home, she talked about her home, about her family. Viktor listened intently, he had only left Europe once and that was to fight Creed. 

When they got to her apartment building he didn't want to leave her. 

“Wanna come up, we got leftovers?”

He looked both ways, afraid this was a trick, that Ivan would show up out of nowhere. He followed her up the stairs, the building was a tad bit better than where he lived. He couldn't deny the apartment was warmer in feeling this and Ivans.  Viktor left his bag by the door and sat on the small couch, 

“I will be right back.” She disappeared into one of the bedrooms, coming back a moment later in shorts and a t- shirt. Viktor tried his best not to stare at her but it wasn't working. 

“What are you looking at?” she asked him as she pulled food out of the fridge. 

“Nothing.” he mumbled. She fixed food, warming it up in the microwave. She walked over to him, pulling him off the couch. 

“You don't have to be shy around me.” she said softly. 

Viktor's eyes searched her face, before he bent down and kissed her. They both were surprised, she took a step back, her hand still on his. Viktor snatched his hand away, rushing to the door, grabbing his bag and leaving without saying goodbye. He passed Cyra’s roommate on the stairs as he rushed out.

“What the fuck was Drago doing here, are you okay?”

“Yeah. I was going to give him food but he kissed me and then ran away.”

“Word, bro is weird like leave him the fuck alone.”

“Stop he just, he just...trying.” 

“Yeah, trying to be weird. Anway, I'll eat his food.”

She grabbed the plate and sat down, Cyra looked out the window, he was already gone.

----

The fight was in a week, Viktor was stressed, he was barely eating, couldn't sleep. His trainer and manager were on his ass about the sudden change. Everyone wanted to know where Cyra was, why he had cheated. It pained him to lie, he would ever hurt her, or cheat on her. The sport gossip blogs picked it up, adding to his new persona of him being an boastful fighter. People came out the woodwork to, adding gas to the fire. His social media page had grew overnight, the comments ranged from accepts of his new identify to disbelief. 

Viktor has never acted like this, fame has gotten to his head.

Finally Big Nasty, you have earned it, show them how nasty you can get. 

The BDE is gold.

Cant belive he cheated on his wife, she fine as hell. 

Yo he gone wipe the floor with his oppoent. 

When he win there better be 50 bitches waiting for him in the back. 

His manager shook his head, looking through the post. They had companies wanting to sponsor them at the last moment, but Viktor said no. there was already enough attention on what was going on. He sipped the protein shake that was pushed in his head at some point. He had to make weight. 

Ivan walked into the office, wearing a smile, and Viktor just wanted to wipe it off his face. 

“Lets train.” he said to Vikor. 

“No.”

Viktor wasnt in the mood to train, wasnt in the mood to be around Ivan. The more days that passed without his wife home the worst he got. 

“I wasnt asking you.”

Viktor stood and towered over his  father, “You are a guest in my home, you are not my trainer and you are not my manager, act accordingly.”

If looks could kill they both would be dead, his manager came between them, pushing Viktor out the room. 

“Why the fuck is he even here, I dont understand Vik, you can talk to me.”

Viktor just shook his head and went to his bedroom. He laid on the bed, pulling her pillow close, her scent very faint on it. Viktor ended up falling asleep, dreaming of his family. 

Cyra was just out of his reach, he wanted to pull her close but each time he moved forward she moved back. Just behind her was Kazi, he was holding a toy, reaching out for him. 

“Tata I want to come home.”

“Me too baby.” Cyra said.

“Baby I am sorry, I never wanted this to happen.” 

They both faded away, Viktor looked around, trying to find her and Kazi. They had to be here, he could sense them, he could smell them. 

Viktor woke with a start, drenched in sweat. He sat up, looking for his phone, hoping he didnt miss a call. There were no new notifications at all. He went to the bathroom, then down to the kitchen to find food, normally Cyra and Kazi would be down here, the kitchen and attached family room were their domain, Kazi toys were stored in the corner, Cyra bookcase took up a full wall. 

The patio door was open and small snatches of conversation floated in, it was Ivan talking to someone. 

“Chy dobre vony?” (Are they well?)

Viktor took a step back, moving light on his feet.

“Tak, vin lamayetʹsya, vin zaznaye nevdachi.” (Yes he is breaking, he will fail.)

Viktor heart was beating fast, was Ivan behind this, would he do this? But Viktor already knew the answer to that.

----------

They let her and Kazi out once a day, they would spend hours outside. Sometimes one of the guys would play soccer with Kazi, sometimes it was just them. She never thought of screaming or trying to run away, not wanting to risk Kazi. They would simply kill her, they would make sure he suffered. 

Every few days she was able to speak to Viktor, she was allowed to call Trey, he stayed suspicious of everything. He wanted to see her, facetime her, touch her, anything. She kept the calls short, knowing her brother had the technology to find her. 

Kazi had stopped asking when Tata was coming to get them. She was told his fight was less than a week out, which means they would be fine if everything went according to plan. Viktor kept up his public appearance of being a badass, all the interviews he did he was prideful and boastful, which was unlike him. 

She just wanted to go home, get back to normal, whatever that would be after this. Kazi ran over to her, falling into her lap giggling. She was happy to see the smile on his face, he only smiled when he was out here. In the room he sat there, quiet, holding his toy. 

He stood up in front of her, putting his hands on her cheeks, giving her forehead a kiss. In that moment she broke down crying, because it was the same thing Viktor did to her. 

“Its okay mama.”

“I know baby. Mama sorry.” 

He didnt move, peppering her face in kisses until she started to giggle, she feel back, and they laid on the grass looking at the sky. 

She wondered what Vik was doing, if she knew her husband he was worrying. He didnt say much but boy could he worry. The backdoor opened and that was there cue to head back inside. She gave Kazi a kiss, picking him up.

Flashback # 6

Cyra avoided the gym for a few days but finally went back on Friday night. But there was no one there and that was rare. She approached the front desk, the girl behind her not even bothering to greet her.

“Where is everyone, this place is a ghost town?”

“Drago has a fight tonight, thought you would know that.” she rolled her eyes. 

Cyra was use to the attitude of most of the local people, she get it, she didnt belong. 

“Where?”

“No place for you.”

“I asked where, not your opinion.” Cyra gave the attitude back. 

The girl rolled her eyes again, popping her gum, before writing it down. 

“Starts at 9 Nehr.”

Cyra snatched the paper, knowing the slur that she was just called. 

She rushed home and convinced her roommate to go with her, they had a hour. Cyra changed into jeans and a tee, finding her bomber jacket to wear. They took a cab to the location. They got weird looks the whole time, or she got weird looks. They found a seat third row behind the opponent side. The fighters made there way to the ring and Viktor looked like nothing she remember. His normally shy and bashful expression was replaced with a look of hate and violence. 

The energy of the room was more than she could take, she wasnt use to this. People cheering for others to tear each other apart, people cheering for blood. The fight started, the first 3 rounds passing with hardly any damage. The 4th round his opponent got in a good hit, sending blood flying across the mat. Cyra stood, hands clenched in front of her. 

Her eyes met Vik and he was hit again, she realized that she was distracting him and sat back down. Viktor pushed off the ropes, standing up and getting back in stance. By the 7th round she could tell he was tired, his punches lacked the force from the earlier rounds. 

“End this and now!” Ivan shouted. 

Viktor straightened his back, delivering nasty punch after punch, even when his opponent leaned against him, Vik just pushed him off delivering a devastating uppercut that had his opponent on the ground. The ref counted and the bell rang, the fight over. Ivan bound into the ring, holding up his son arms in victory, you would have thought he made the final punch. 

The two exited the ring, Cyra pushed her way to the barrier that separated the crowd from the walkway. 

“Vik!” he turned to look at her, right eye already staring to close. He walked over, helping her and her roommate over the barrier so they could follow him. Ivan was to busy trying to find the sponsor for his payout to notice. 

Viktor led them to a small dressing room, her roommate waiting outside while she followed him in.

“You okay?” she asked stupidly. 

“I will be fine, what are you doing here?”

“Came to watch you fight, duh, also wondering why you ran after you kissed me.”

His head dropped,”I am sorry…”

Cyra didnt let him finish, standing on her tippy toes and kissing him back. His shoulder sagged almost in relief. 

Cyra bought her hands up to his cheeks, kissing him harder, wanting him to know it was okay, she wanted this too, whatever this was. 

“shcho tse?” (What is this?)

They both looked over, Ivan standing in the door, Anna standing behind Ivan. 

“I just came to congratulate him…”

“I am not talking to you girl. Lets go Viktor.”

“Dayte nam khvylynku, budʹ laska” Viktor spoke. (Give us a moment, please)

“No, lets go.” Ivan looked at her with disgust in his eyes. Viktor mumbled an apology before following Ivan out the door. 

“Damm what the hell was that?” Anna asked. 

“Nothing I guess.” 

That night all Viktor could think of was her. Usually when he won a fight, he floated high off of that for a few days, but even that didnt matter, she did. He snuck out knowing that Ivan was passed out drunk. 

He ended up at her apartment, knocking softly, Sarah answering the door. 

“Ugh you again, its like 3am, little late for a bootycall. Wait here.”

When Cyra saw him, she stopped. Viktor thought she looked gorgeous, in just a tshirt, curly hair everywhere. 

“Vik what are you doing here?”

“I came to apologize for Ivan, he doesn't have a reason to be mean to you.”

“You dont have to apologize for other people Vik.”

“I like you, I’ve never done this before, I dont know what to do.”

She smiled up at him, “You like me?”

“Yes a lot, you make me happy.”

She bounced over to him, hugging him around his middle, he winced from the pain, his ribs still sore. 

“Sorry, you make me happy to Vik. Come.”

She pulled him into her bedroom, the light was flicked off but he could still see the touches of her. The makeup on the vanity, clothes slung over the back of a chair, a picture on her bedside. 

“I swear to god yall better not fuck, these walls are thin as fuck, I can hear giantgtor breathing.”

“Don’t mind her, can you stay?”

Viktor shook his head quickly, not caring that he would have to face the consequences tomorrow. He pushed his sweats down, leaving him in boxers and tshirts and got into bed, she snuggled up to him, trying her best not to touch his bruises. 

“Its fine, I am use to pain.”

“You shouldn't be Vik.” She kissed the underside of his chin, settling into a comfortable silence. 

Viktor got no sleep that night, he stayed up all night watching her sleep, she never left his side. Her scent stayed with him even as Ivan chewed him out the next morning and made him change gyms.

-----------

24 hours before a match 

It was time for the weight in and conference, Viktor always hated these. They obsessively tracked his weight the days leading up, to heavy or light and there was no fight, he had to stay in his weight class. He dropped a lot of weight since all this started, how could he eat without know if his wife and child were. 

After he head the phone call between Ivan and who he assumed was Andriy, he knew that they would be okay, it was all a plan to get him to fold. Viktor would bet his life that both Ivan and Andriy had big money bet on this fight and they needed him to fold so they could get paid. 

All the extra shit was just so he would be embarrass. He thought of he quote that Ivan had always told him when he was growing up, “A fool tells you what he will do, a boaster will tell you what they have done, The wise man does it and says nothing.” He never saw the need to be prideful. It just wasnt his way. 

“You ready?” his manager ask him. 

“Yes.” usually Cyra was here with him, behind the scene, being his cheerleader. He didnt need the huge entourage, the flashy clothes of jewelry, just her. Kazi would be with one of her brothers, watching from home.He wasnt allowed to watch the fights, but the weight ins no problem. All Viktor had on were boxing shorts, he followed his manager to the stage. Dozens of specters watched, cameras out, mics pointed toward the stage. 

The announcer did the usual bout, introducing them. They weighed in, their weight checked before they took their respective seats, this was the part he hated, the interview. 

Drago where is your wife, does she plan to support you even thought you cheated?

She will not be in attendance. 

Why the sudden change, you did a complete 180 on us.

People change.

Needless to say fans are loving the new attitude, they think you earned the right to be boastful.

They are right, I haven't lost a fight in 5 years, I dont have anything else to prove. 

For the most part he kept his answers short, keeping up the facade like he was supposed to.

Finally they were done and Viktor along with his manager and trainer went back to his room, that same room he would prep in tomorrow for the fight. Win or lose he was going home with 2 million dollars. If he won he was looking at 10 million, tack on what he would make from sponsorship it would be a nice purse. 

“Viktor you look dead, I dont believe anything you said on that stage. Man what is going on?”

“Nothing.” he got dress and quickly. 

With Ivan not here he asked to use his trainer phone, he went into the bathroom. 

“Who dis?” Trey answered the phone. 

“I dont have much time, I know who has Cyra and I think my dad is on it. Come by the house tonight.”

“Aigh bruh, Imma be there, but my sis and Kazi better be okay or I will make good on my promise.”

He hung up, deleting the call log. When he came out the restroom still no sign of Ivan, he gave his trainer back his phone and left, wanting to go home.

----------

Both her and Kazi watched the weight in, Kazi was quiet as he watched his tata on stage talking. Cyra hated seeing him like this, he looked awful, not his normal self. His eyes were dark, the same darkness she saw when she met him in the Ukraine. 

He weighted in as normal, did the interview and rushed off of stage. She just wanted to reach out and comfort him. The day before a match she was always by his side, they needed each other in that way. They kept each other grounded.

After watching the weight in, she and Kazi had dinner. But Cyra wasnt hungry at all. They were given a bathroom run, allowed to take a shower, and her kazi sharing the shower to save time. Once back in their room they laid together while Kazi told her a story, like most children he had the most active imagination ever. 

She wanted to tell him that tomorrow they would go home, that everything would be okay. But she didnt, know sure she could handle the disappointment if something went wrong.

[smileykeijser]

Why r ppl sleepin on skam nl? Last time i checked it has only like 20k views. The tea is that noah is out here ending hypermasculine bs and liv is comin for our wigs too hard and ppl cant handle. Isa is the cutest bean and if ppl dont support the show we will be Deprived i tell u. damn it all if the snakey snake of netherlands doesnt get his season bc of the show's shit marketing team then i will riot. Ok im done yelling lol what do u personally most want out of seasons 2 and 3 of this remake?

Before I answer your questions, it is highly underrated, and part of it is due to the marketing team for last season, but they are putting more money into promotion this season, I’ve seen Instagram and Youtube ads that they’ve used to promote within the Netherlands, which is a step up and hopefully will help our views steadily increase.

As for what I want out of seasons 2 and 3, here we go.

Season 2: I’ve talked a lot about things that I want to see during this season so I won’t go that deeply into this. First and foremost, I want the toxic elements of season 2 of the og to not appear in NL, which we’ve already seen start to happen, if only in minor ways with the text he sent Liv. I want the date to come about naturally, even if that means having to wait a little longer, because I cannot see Noah using blackmail to get Liv to go out with him, and it would really turn me off if he did. In broader ways, I really want to see Liv and Noah being tender with each other, because while they are at each other’s throats, I believe when they get together, they’ll be able to have tender, quiet moments together, whether it’s painting each others nails or both creating art, or reading together. I’d also like lots of tender touches, both sexual and not.This feels all over the place because there’s too much to say here, but the last and final thing I really want, is for Noah not to fucking run off to London. There’s no reason for him too. What I would like to see, since the season is going to be ending in June, I’d be so happy for the two of them to go travelling together around Europe during the summer. We obviously won’t get any content from it, but I’d like it to be mentioned somehow, or referenced when we get Lucas’ season (because we will get Lucas’ season.)

Season 3: I haven’t delved too deep into what I want out of season 3 yet, because I’m afraid that we won’t get it and I’ll be more invested than I already am, but I do have a few things. We will get an Even of colour, I can’t see Skam NL going any other way, but I would love to have a dark skinned Even, I think that would be a great way to go (and would keep the awful fans away). One big thing I want out of season 3 is for the Lucas and Isa relationship to not disappear. They showed in season 1 that they are crazy close, and even after their problems, they were extremely good friends and I would hate to see that relationship neglected in season 3. In addition to that, I’d really love a coming out moment between Lucas and Isa, alongside the one with Kes. I know that Isa already knows, but can you imagine them going out for cake and him telling her he’s gay, and Isa just stands up and hugs him tightly and we see Lucas’ eyes tear up a little? Sign me up. In general for season 3 I’d like them to continue on with their theme of changing the plot slightly, but creating a different mood for his season. If they could change up the metaphors and symbols like skamit and skam france did that would be wonderful. Lastly, if they could channel Jongens that would be amazing. Obviously if their first kiss is going to be in the fall they won’t be able to recreate the Jongens kiss, but I would love it if they could.

(this got super long and still I didn’t get out all that I wanted to say, I have too many thoughts!)

[leelee10898]

For You: Chapter 7 - Little Wonders

Summery: A few weeks pass after their fight and make up. Will they find out the sex of the babies? Who is this woman with the unusual eye brows? Leo and Dex have words. catch up here. As always if you would like added to the tag list. let me know. Rating: Mature Chapter inspiration: Little Wonders - Rob Thomas

Aria woke early in morning, the extreme urge to use the bathroom jolting her from her slumber. She was 21 weeks pregnant now, and the twins were weighing on her bladder something fierce. After climbing back into bed, she nuzzled against Leos bare chest in attempts to go back to sleep. The realization that she wouldn’t soon set in, today was a big day. Today was their big ultrasound, the one they hoped to reveal the sex of the twins. Their friends had a pool going, Olivia and Drake both thought Girls, Liam and Maxwell thought Boys, and Ellie and Leo thought one of each. Aria did not weigh in on her thoughts, to her she was just happy they were ok. She did not know she was pregnant when Madeline shot her, things could have gone very wrong had she been hit anywhere else.

 "Mmm what time is it baby?" Leo mumbled half asleep. "7:30." Aria sighed. Leo rubbed his eyes, waking up a bit more. "You're anxious about today aren't you?" He rubbed her stomach. "I am, I hope these two behave." She chuckled. "If they are anything like their momma, they will. " he cooed kissing her belly. "If they are anything like their Daddy, they will probably give the tech the finger." She snorted. Leo wore a look of shock and innocence on his face paired with his devilish grin. She pushed his shoulder playfully "I’m so hungry I could literally eat a horse." She joked as she rolled out of bed only for Leo to catch her arm. “Wait here love.” He jumped out of bed and disappeared down the hall. He returned a little later with a tray full of food. “Breakfast in bed? You spoil me super man.” she giggled. “Of course Love.” he settled into the bed as they ate their breakfast.

A couple hours later they were in the imaging office, waiting to be called back. The office had signed a disclosure contract, that they were not to discuss the pregnancy with anyone, however it did not protect them against other patients. An announcement needed to be made very soon. "Hale." The technician called out. Aria and Leo made their way to the room "Hi. My name is Tessa, I will be doing your scan." Aria tried very hard to stiffen her laughter. Leo sat next to her, a wide grin on his face. "Oh man, looks like I am out of gel. Give me a second and I will be right back." As soon as Tessa left the room Aria's head whipped to Leo's. "Did you see that?" She giggled. "I did Love, didn't you know. Dicked eyebrows are all the rage in Europe." he said with a straight face. "I can't with you." She giggled. "She's seriously sporting those Dickbrows."she laughed a little louder, Leo joined in. "Ok, now lets get this show on the road." Tessa announced as she re entered the room. 

As she scanned over her stomach Aria tried her best to pay attention to her two little sprouts on the screen, but her eyes kept wandering back to Tessa’s dick brows. Every time she blinked or moved them, it looked like they were dry humping the air. At one point she couldn’t take it anymore and laughed very loud. Leo smirked, he knew exactly what she was laughing at. "I’m sorry, I thought of something funny." Aria blushed trying to play it off. Tessa continued the scan showing them their babies feet, hands, fingers and their profiles. "Do you want to know the sex's of the babies?" Tessa asked. "Yes!" They said in unison. "We do, but we want to have a reveal. So we don't want you to tell us." Aria explained. "Of course, we can put the gender in an envelope for you." Tessa explained. "Can you tell what they are?" Leo question. "Umm yep, I see baby A's gender." She scanned "And there's baby B's." Tessa smiled as she printed a few pictures. "Everything looks great here, you have two healthy little ones, congratulations your Grace and your highness." Tessa left the room. Once in the car Aria was hit by a fit of laughter "I must send these to Ellie." She continued to giggle. Leo glanced over her shoulder "you didn’t love?" "They were Dicks Leo, on her eye brows. That calls for proof Ellie would never believe me." Aria laughed as she forwarded the pictures she secretly took of Tessa.

After their appointment they went to the palace to meet with Liam. An official statement would need to be drafted announcing they were expecting. Aria had already told her parents the news, shortly after she found out. Since Aria was clearly showing, and with Constantine’s birthday ball two days away, it was now time to let court and country know. Regina was still very cold towards Aria, Leo had it out with her on numerous occasions. Whenever the two of them would stop by, Regina made herself scarce. The announcement had been drafted, and would be broadcast in the papers and media outlets the day after the Ball. Leo and Aria would make their announcement during the ball to the entire court.

Two days later it was Finally Constantine's birthday ball. Aria wore a pastel pink chiffon dress with a long shaw so she could cover her bump as best they could. As they arrived the Herald announced them, Leo caught Dex licking his lips out of the corner of his eye. His jaw tensed and his hand balled into a fist. He had not come face to face with him since he put all of those things in Aria’s head. "He doesn't matter, this is your fathers birthday, and we are finally announcing the babies." She whispered into his ear, calming his nerves immediately. "Of course love. Besides, I am the one with the most gorgeous woman in the room on my arm." He kissed her cheek.

 Dinner was served, followed by speeches. As Constantine thanked everyone for coming, he then turned the attention to Leo and Aria, calling both up to the center of the room. "Welcome everyone, I know I am usually the one raiding the bar and causing the most ruckus so this is a change for all." Several in the crowd chuckle. "You see, a long time ago I met an amazing woman and fell madly in love." Leo turned and smiled at Aria. "Life happened and we were torn apart. Until one day, fate brought her back to me." Leo grabbed her hand. "Even though it had been a long bumpy road, our love proved stronger then anything else." Aria watched on with much admiration, the love of her life gushing with pure joy. "Our love was so big that it needed to expand, and so it is our greatest joy to announce the Royal family will be expanding. Duchess Aria and I are expecting twins." He beamed as a roar of applause and cheers filled the room. Leo leaned in dipping Aria slightly back, one hand firmly in her back, the other on her stomach as his lips captured hers in a deep kiss. Dex quickly downs a tumbler of whiskey and grabs another. Leo looks over to see Dex gritting his teeth. Leo grins like a Cheshire cat, at the satisfaction of Dex’s displeasure. 

They head back to their table, bombarded by their friends with the question on everyone's mind. "What are they?" They all asked. Ellie pipped up "I am throwing a Gender reveal party, you'll all find out then." The group groans. "But when little petunia?" Maxwell whined. "In a week, I have already spoken to Arias mom. The party will be in Pennsylvania." "What?" Aria whipped her head to her best friend. "We wanted to include your parents, so Ellie and I made the arrangements." Leo put his arm around her waist. "Besides, I thought it time I met the parents." Aria half heartedly chuckled yeah my dad is going to be so pissed she thought to herself. As the night went on both Aria and Leo made their rounds, fielding questions about the babies Genders, and when the would the wedding be. Leo had a few plans and did not want to spoil them, so they just told everyone they were focusing on the babies first. Leo had wandered over to the bar for a scotch when Dex approached him. 

"Well congrats Daddy." Sarcasm dripping off Dex’s words. "That’s the funniest thing I have ever heard, Leo being a father. Does Aria really think you'll stick around?" "Jealous Dex? Cant have something you want? And here I thought you said I had an child out there somewhere.” Leo scoffed.” I told you, Aria loves me. Those babies are mine. You're out of your league Dexter." Leo gulped down his scotch and took off for the door, trying to distance himself from Dex before he did something he'd regret at his fathers party. Dex followed, hot on his heels. "She will leave you Rhys, you aren't good enough for that fine a piece of ass." Dex sneered. 

 "What the fuck did you say?" Leo turned to face him. "You'll fuck it up, And she will leave you. I'll swoop in and save the day. " Dex grinned. Anger splashed across Leo's face as he slowly made his way closer to Dex. "Mmm I cant wait to get in between those thighs." Dex teased.  Leo closed the distance, his fist connecting with Dex's jaw. Dex’s face jerked to the side. Leo gripped him up by his collar and pushed him against the wall. "You listen here you dirty son of a bitch. She is MINE, and if you come near her again or try to hurt us in anyway, I will burry your sorry ass." Leo released his grip and walked away leaving Dex to rub his aching jaw. "I will get you back, for what you did to me. Mark my words. " Dex mumbled to himself. He continued to rub his jaw as he left the palace.

Tag list:  @bobasheebaby @scarlettedragon @annekebbphotography@speedyoperarascalparty @greyeyedsmile14 @stopforamoment @mind-reader1 @xxrainbowprincessxx @hopefulmoonobject@alicars  @indiacater @bella-ca @blznbaby @blackwidow2721@liamxs-world @simsvetements @furiousherringoperatortoad@choicesfannatalie @crookedslimecreatorpasta @coldcollectornight08 @museofbooks @syltti78 @ao719 @3pawandme @blubutterflyy @itsstillnotwhatyouthink @liam-rhys-deactivated20180927 @riseandshinelittleblossom@wannabemc2 @Gibbles82  @sarwin85 @heatherfilliez

[fictionalrat]

let it happen | chapter 4

read on ao3

9:40 A.M.

Lance saves the document, closes it, stares at his laptop desktop image until his eyes start to sting, groans in frustration, and slams his laptop shut. Puts it aside. He crosses his arms like a petulant child, he chews on his bottom lip, his eyes roam around his room.

He watches as the wind plays lazily with his curtains, making their shadows dance, swaying back and forth.

Something moves in his peripheral vision. He rolls his head to the side, fingers hovering over the keypad. The sight that meets him makes him pause, his fingers freeze, Keith looks so peaceful, he looks almost… ethereal. It’s kind of disturbing, yet mesmerizing at the same time.

Keith’s pale face glows a tender hue under the morning light, the sun tinges his chapped lips a deep pink, the scar under his left eye looks almost translucent.

Keith’s so… unfairly beautiful.

He catches himself tracing down the slopes of Keith’s face, the lines of his jaw, the curve of his upper lip with his eyes like a piece of chalk on canvas. He’s never seen something quite this stunning before in his life (granted, he’s only 22, but that’s beside the point), if only he knew how to draw like Keith does.

Lance can’t take this, his heart’s too weak.

He wants to bury his face in Keith’s ruffled hair, wants to breathe him in, wants to have him in his arms, wants to touch, but he seems so out of reach like this. Lance curls his fingers into fists, aching to touch. He restrains himself from charting pale, fading freckles down with his fingertips.

It… it’s very distracting, is what it is.

Keith scrunches up his nose, grumbles and throws an arm over his eyes. Lance’s breath catches in his throat.

Lance… Lance is fucked, he knows he’s fucked, he already knew that then (when Keith suggested this… arrangement), he knows that now, he’s known that for some time now, but it never fails to catch him by surprise. This… feeling never fails to overwhelm him. He fucking hates this… whatever this is, he has no fucking word for this… feeling. It claws at his throat, it kicks him the gut, it scorches his heart, it clenches his heart in a death-grip, it steps on it, it rips his heart apart.

Lance covers his face in his hands and rubs, groaning in frustration. This is ridiculous. He forces himself to look away, and focuses on drilling a hole into the wall with the force of his glare instead, running his tongue over one of his canines.

Do not distract yourself with cheesy rom-com bullshit, bitch, he scolds himself, Write. Yes, writing is good. Stressful, but good. Go back to writing. Avoid contact. Don’t look. Avert your eyes. Work. You’ve got work to do, so do it.

After about five or so minutes of glaring despondently into fucking space and hating himself for being pathetic, he does. He’s always been good at taking all his frustrations on his writing.

He pulls his laptop into his lap, opens it, double taps, and the document appears on the screen. The cursor blinks curiously at him, he blinks back, and sighs. He starts scanning it for typos, and corrects them, all the while grumbling about how fucking stupid he is, and how fucking stupid all those mistakes were.

He adds some of the worst expletives in big, bold and italic capital letters next to shitty, weird ass sounding paragraphs that don’t ever seem to get any better, even after rewriting them seven thousand three hundred and eighty-four fucking times. Doesn’t matter how many times he tries, how many times he bangs his fists on the keyboard, how hard he hits the keys, the words don’t ever seem to come out quite right.

Rinse, lather, repeat.

“¡BESA MI CULO, PUTO!” He snaps at one particularly dumb typo, and deletes its whole sentence out of spite.

Keith stirs, and groans next to him, turning his body towards Lance. Lance tenses, holding his breath and sitting very still until he’s super sure, 100% Keith won’t wake up. Keith sighs obliviously in his sleep, and turns on his stomach. Lance lets out a relieved breath, closing his eyes.

He snaps them open and shakes his head in frustration, “No seas tonto, Lance.”

He hits ctrl-z and skips the paragraph entirely, jumping to two paragraphs bellow, he reads it and gasps, “¿Qué carajo? Who wrote this? A fiveslgfjdjdfds.” A hand lands on the side of his face with a smack, smooching his cheek. Lance screams, - of course he does, how could he not. - and almost falls off the bed.

“SHUT YOUR ROTTEN MOUTH, I’M TRYING TO SLEEP,” Keith growls at him, voice raspy, and low, and terrifying. Even muffled by the pillow and drowsy, his voice doesn’t lose its aggressive edge. What the fuck.

Lance, after recovering his soul, turns his head so he can stare at Keith with raised brows, and huffs, “Hella lot of words coming from a sleeping person, I’d say.”

Keith groans and lifts his face off the pillow, glaring at him through squinty eyes, “Shut that fucking trap, you moldy piece of bread, or get out.”

“This is my fucking room, Keith,” Lance sputters, snapping his laptop shut for added effect, “you get out.”

“I’M SLEEPING, PISS OFF,” Keith kicks at Lance’s leg with enough force to bruise.

“OW! CAREFUL WITH MY COMPUTER, YOU BRUTE!”

Keith grumbles, turning his back to Lance and covering his head with Lance’s comforter. He curls into a ball, shutting Lance out.

Lance relocates his grumpy ass to the couch after flipping an oblivious, snoring Keith off.

He loves the guy, but damn, can he be an asshole so-

…Wait, did he just-

Oh, hell no.

10:34 A.M.

stud muffin so………….. do i even wanna know? probably not, but you’re gonna tell me anyway pidge, cover ur eyes

pidgeotto shut up hunk im not 5 GIVE ME DA DEETS LANCE

space boi lance AWWW MAN MY DUDES MY BROS MY PALS MIS HERMANOS

pidgeotto oh boy here we go…….. im regretting this already

space boi lance SHUT IT BIRD TURD anyway where was i before i was so rudely interrupted??? ah yeah OH MY GOD MY DUDES hes a screamer KEITH KOGANE OUR KEITH IS A SCREAMER ITS LIKE AAAAAA GUYS boi so thicc too goddem cant wait to have him up my ass honest such a nice dick 11/10 reallygreat work of art grade a AND DAT ASS!!!!!!!! GUH SO FUCKING SMOOTH he looks really nice when hes sleeping too so soft i want to chomp on his cheeks ughhhhhh how can he be so perfect its so unfair im swooning i swear to GOD he looks hot even when hes kicking me out of my own room which UNFAIR

A facebook notification pops up at the top of his phone screen in the middle of his rant.

Hunk Garrett tagged you in a post, it says.

Lance arches an eyebrow, “Huh.”

He taps it open.

Hunk Garrett is listening to the less i know the better, by tame impala i’d like to dedicate this song to my good pal Lance Martínez you know /why/ Pidge Holt and 5 others 

Pidge Holt  HOOOOOO BOY THE BURN THATS Y UR MY MAIN HO HUNK I LOVE U

Matthew Holt lol babe look at The Shade Takashi 

Takashi Shirogane Ah yes, that is indeed The Shade Of It All *scratches chin* Lance Martínez shiro i love u but dude ure embarrassing get off the internet Matthew Holt dont trash talk the baby lance Matthew Holt he’s sensitive Matthew Holt (ure adorable babe) Takashi Shirogane I take offence to that Lance Takashi Shirogane No more dog memes for you Lance Martínez NOOOOOO DAD NOT THE DOGGO MEMES Takashi Shirogane ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Pidge Holt ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Hunk Garrett ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Matthew Holt ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Lance Martínez u guys are absolute TRASH

Lance Martínez the WORST I TELL U WORST

Lance Martínez I NEED NEW FRIENDS ASAP 

Pidge Holt awwwwwwww lance i love u too Pidge Holt u can tell me everything later i’ll allow it Pidge Holt bring food Pidge Holt and redbull Pidge Holt tons of redbull Lance Martínez ure… ugh Lance Martínez i hate u Lance Martínez u tiny bird turd Pidge Holt URE tiny Lance Martínez GASP U TAKE THAT BACK Pidge Holt ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Hunk Garrett ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Matthew Holt ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Takashi Shirogane ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Allura Ourania ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Lance Martínez LULU NOT U TOO Allura Ourania ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

11:35 A.M.

He’s avoiding the huge ass, one-sided, and glittery elephant in the room, he’s avoiding the fuck out of it. He’ll avoid the fuck out of it until it goes away, until it disappears for good, until it goes to fucking hell, until it’s burning in the fifth circle of hell.

He has no time for this.

This project is worth 40% of his grade.

His prof’s a mad man, yeah, but that’s how it is. He won’t flunk this class just because he can’t control his feelings.

He can’t, won’t, jeopardize his project just because of fucking feelings.

¡No, de ninguna puta manera! 

He needs a shower. 

And a joint. 

And coffee. 

Tons of coffee. 

But a shower first, then facials, then weed, then coffee.

Tons of coffee. 

He’ll also down a shot of tequila, because he’s feeling adventurous. 

(Reckless, he means reckless.)

1:45 P.M.

Lance’s minding his own business, stirring his way into his fifth?? possibly, probably, he’s not sure, cup of coffee, and stuffing his face with ham and pineapple pizza rolls in the kitchen after smoking a whole joint by himself in the bathroom, when he hears it. It is terrifying. A dull thud reverberates through the apartment, echoed by it; the most earth-shattering, ear-splitting shriek he’s ever heard.

“LANCE!”

He freezes, his heart plummets.

His spoon drops and clatters on the floor.

“LANCE, YOU’RE FUCKING DEAD,” the deity roars.

Lance squeaks like a fucking mice, and squats, hiding behind the counter.

Run. Pack your things and go, get out of town. Flee to Europe, change your name-

He presses his overheated cheek to the counter and sighs, so good. He grins wide.

Keith’s feet smack on the floor as he stomps, over-aggressively, I dare add, out of Lance’s room, “What the fuck did you do to my ass, you rotten egg?” His voice is louder now, much louder. Lance jumps mid giggle-fit, which sets him off into another one.

“ME!” Lance peers over the countertop and raises his hand, waving sluggishly and cackling, bloodshot eyes wide. Well, as wide as they can go, which, honestly, isn’t much, considering, “I DID THE FUCK! I PUT MY DICK IN - HAH - YOUR ASS! YOU LET ME - HAHAH - IT WAS WILD!”

Keith takes a long look at him and, like a flip has switched, his scowl melts and he bursts out laughing, his nose crinkling up. It’s so fucking adorable, Lance’s heart hurts. It burns. It screams in pain. Lance laughs the pain away like the idiot he is, or maybe just because he’s high as fuck. One can never be too sure, ya feel.

“I know that, you fucking stoner, I mean THE BRUISES.” He points at his bare hips, trying to catch his breath.

Lance’s eyes travel south.

Helloooo there, legs.

Wait, he went too far.

Go back two frames.

There, hips.

Lance blinks, and tries to open his eyes further. He can’t.

He blinks again.

Oh.

Ho boy, he did a number on the guy alright.

Also, this part is super wild, bare with him, it looks weirdly… beautiful? It’s gorgeous, actually. It’s a masterpiece, Lance is an artist.

The red and purple splotches scattered across Keith’s skin are… kind of blurring together in one big ass bruise, that reminds him oddly of the Milky Way. Lance fights hard against the white urge to draw an alien-head above Keith’s hipbone. Keith probably wouldn’t mind it, though. The nerd. Lance chuckles.

Keith clears his throat.

Lance flicks his eyes up at Keith, blinks languidly at him several times. Keith’s waiting for something, isn’t he? What is it again? He rakes his brain for an answer. It beeps.

Ah, yeah.

An answer, right. He needs to answer Keith, duh.

Lance cackles at his stupidity.

“Oh, that.” Lance wipes his eyes on his sleeve in between chuckles as he finally answers, sniffing. He braces his arms on the counter and pushes himself up on his feet, winking, “I’m not sorry about that.” He lies his torso on the counter, smooching his cheek against the cool surface, and shoots Keith a lopsided smile.

Keith shakes his head, “You’re an idiot.”

“Yeah, but you looooooove me,”  Lance sing-songs, finger gunning lazily with a grin.

Keith rolls his eyes fondly, and gets closer, dragging one of the stools from under the counter, and sitting down gingerly, wincing a little. His eyes flicker swiftly to something as he settles, before they land on Lance again. Keith frowns, “Should you be drinking coffee?”

Lance frowns back, puzzled, turning his head so he can look at his mug. “Shouldn’t I?” He wonders.

Keith leans over the counter, elbows propped up, and starts picking idly at one of the pizza rolls sitting pretty on the plate in front of him, “It doesn’t affect your high?”

Lance gasps. His pizza rolls. “No touching, you fugly mullet, it’s mineeeeee,” Lance whines, reaching forward and swatting Keith’s fugly hand away. He snatches the plate from Keith and brings it closer to himself, tucking it in between his arms, away from pizza roll-thieving mullets. Lance sticks out his tongue at him, before fitting two of the biggest rolls in his mouth. At the same time. For emphasis. His cheeks puff out.

Keith ducks his head to hide his grin. “You look like a chipmunk,” he comments nonchalantly, tapping his knuckles idly on the surface.

“Nhobowdshy ashkd yuh, Puhtrish,” Lance shoots back.

Keith rolls his eyes and flips him off with both hands, leaning back on his stool.

Lance flashes him the half-chewed food.

“Fuck, that’s gross.”

“Ah.” Lance struggles to swallow all of it dry, but manages, “I forgot to - clears throat - answer, coffee doesn’t affect my high much.” He shrugs, taking a bite off one of the rolls. Keith hums.

Lance swallows, “Pass me the straw, please. The long, bendy one.” He gestures a thumb back.

Keith slides from the stool in one smooth movement, makes his way around the counter and goes for the drawers. Lance hears as it slides open, “Which color?”

“Purple,” Lance answers over his shoulder.

He stretches his arm when Keith pulls the straw out and makes a grabby hand at him.

“Oh no, you don’t,” Keith holds the straw over his head.

“Gimme, or I’ll punch your di-I-i-aaAAAAAah,” he tries to steal the straw from Keith, but loses his footing and almost dives face-first into the cold, hard floor. “¡Coño!” He fumbles to keep upright, hooking a hand on the edge of the other side of the counter. Thank fuck for long fingers.

Lance manages to get his balance back by planting his feet firmly on the ground. Keith makes his way back to his stool, and once he’s settled, he hands Lance the straw already stretched. Keith’s lips quiver in a poorly concealed attempt not to laugh, eyes twinkling mirthfully.

Lance rolls his eyes as he throws the straw into his cup, propping himself on his elbow and resting his chin on his palm.

Keith makes gagging sounds, bangs falling on his eyes.

Lance ignores him in order to bring the straw to his lips with his free hand, and suck the coffee, swallowing in an obnoxiously loud gulp.  

Keith’s nose wrinkles in disgust. “You’re gross,” Keith comments, tucking his hair behind his ears.

“Thanks, I try,” Lance grins around his straw, then frowns at Keith’s bare chest. “Shouldn’t you put on some clothes, though?” Lance asks, eyes half-lidded, “It’s freezing, Keith.”

Keith raises an eyebrow, looking down. “Off-topic, but no, Lance, it’s not,” he shoots Lance a look, rubbing the bridge of his nose, “And how would you know, anyway? You’re high.”

“What’s this jealousy I’m feeling? There’s more, you know.” He pats the breast pocket of his sweatshirt with a dopey smile, and meets Keith’s eyes as he takes a sip, waggling his brows. He swallows and winks, “Don’t need to get all broody on me, grumpy pants.”

Keith hides his face on his arms and groans. Lance can see the blush rising on Keith’s neck, and allows himself a mental pat on the back as he pushes himself upright.

“Okay, let’s go,” Lance trots towards his bedroom.

3:32 P.M.

When they sober up enough to get stuff done, they throw themselves on the couch, legs tangled because why not, right? It’s not like Lance’s life makes any sense, anyway.

Lance with the camera in his hands and laptop on his stomach, Keith with his headphones around his ears, and one of his weird, edgy sci-fi books resting on his thighs.

Lance rests his head on the armrest and hits play.

Keith’s feet tap a comforting rhythm against Lance’s.

4:02 P.M.

Keith falls asleep against the couch, mouth slightly open.

Lance does a poor job at reducing the volume of his laughter at his dramatics on video. Even though Keith’s got his headphones on, Lance still manages to wake him up, and ends up getting kicked in the shin by a very rumpled, grumpy, and over-sized baby with a fugly mullet for that.

He tries not to laugh again.

…He fails miserably, and both his shins suffer.

Terribly.

4:30 P.M.

Because Lance has shit luck, and the universe is out to get him, they didn’t manage to catch Keith’s o-face on video. Life is unfair, God hates him, Jesus hates him, even Buddha must hate him, because this, right here, has got to be some sort of twisted divine punishment. Maybe it’s Karma, maybe he was a murderer in his past life, he doesn’t know. What he does know, though, is that this must be fixed.

“Dude,” he kneels on the couch and shakes Keith’s knee to wake him up, “Dude. DUDE!”

Keith’s eyes flutter open and he squints at Lance, blinking blearily, utterly confused.

Lance sits back on his heels and he offers Keith the camera, “Look.”

Keith, while frowning up at him, sits up and takes it. He yawns, unplugging his headphones from his phone and into the camera. He hits play.

Keith snaps the camera shut after about ten minutes, a furious blush burning his high cheekbones and the bridge of his nose. He still looks mildly confused, though, and astoundingly flustered, bringing his knees to his chest.

Lance bites on his bottom lip and heaves a huge breath. “We’ll have to tape chapter 1 again,” he clarifies.

Keith lifts an eyebrow, face still bright red, “Because…”

“I can’t see your face when you’re coming, dude.” Lance explains, waving his hands at the camera in exasperation, “That’s unacceptable, you know. really preposterous. I can’t have this, I can’t WRITE like this. This is a disaster. We gotta redo this, Keith. It’s a matter of life and death.” He grabs both Keith’s knees and shakes.

“But- I’m awake now, dipshit, quit shaking me,” He snaps, batting Lance’s hands away from his knees, “But… don’t you remember my face when I was actually coming yesterday?”

So, you see… remember when Lance mentioned he has shit luck, and the universe is out to get him, and some sort of divine punishment is being inflicted upon him? There’s another reason to back up that assessment.

They not only hadn’t caught Keith’s o-face on video, but he also didn’t get to see Keith’s o-face in living color yesterday because he had his fucking eyes closed. Which rude, Lance. That is just plain rude. There’s no excuses. That’s probably why God, Jesus, and Buddha hate you this much.

Lance hangs his head. “I- I had my eyes closed,” he confesses, accepting defeat.

“You’re hopeless.”

Lance’s head shoots up and he gasps, “Excuse!”

“No,” Keith stands up abruptly, almost kneeing Lance’s nose in the process.

Lance squawks and reels back, out of reach, eyes wide, “Wha-”

“Shut the fuck up, you dry raisin,” Keith glares accusingly at him and Lance flinches, “I’ll fix this.”

“Kei-”

Keith’s arm shoots up, and he points his index finger at Lance, thick eyebrows pinched. “Stay put,” he warns, waving his finger, “don’t fucking move, don’t breathe.”

Lance is too confused to react, or even say anything, so he just gapes.

“Just… stay there, I’ll be quick.”

Keith returns buck naked, with a dildo and the lube in hands.

Lance’s at a loss, he’s a loss for words, his sass is gone, along with his ability to form coherent thoughts. Keith has that effect on him, apparently. Keith always finds a way to give Lance whiplash.  

Keith dumps the stuff on the coffee table and turns his attention to Lance, he chuckles at what he sees there, “Shut your mouth, Lance, you’ll catch a fly.”

Lance finds his voice. “Wha-” he clears his throat, and shakes his head before continuing, “What the fuck?” (Eloquent.)

Keith rolls his eyes as he picks up the camera, “You’re gonna tape me as I touch myself.”

Keith hands Lance the camera.

“I don’t…” Lance takes it, still completely dumbfounded.

Keith cuts him off, “I told you I’d fix this, didn’t I? So this is me, fixing it.”

Something in Lance’s brain seems to click.

“Oh,” he replies dumbly.

Oh no, is what he means, no fucking way. He’s gonna die today.

Yup, today is the day.

“Okay, so…” Keith claps his hands, “scooch over, I need the space.”

Lance’s eyes widen, “You really gonna do this here? On the couch?”

“Is there a problem?”

Yes. There’s a ton of problems, actually. Not with Keith doing it on the couch, but still, there’s a problem. Tons of problems. These problems have problems. For one, Lance will probably die. For two, he can’t do this anymore. He can’t but he has to, and he will because his project is worth 40% of his final grade, he will because he has to. He has the moral duty to prove to Keith, and to himself, that he, as a matter of fact, can do this, even if he’ll end up hurt. Fuck his feelings.

“No, no, nope, no problem at all. I’m all up for jerking off on the couch, sign me the fuck up. It’s just…” Lance blows a raspberry, scratching the back of his head, looking around the room, uncertain. He can’t meet Keith’s eyes, “it looks too cramped, I think? I was just, uhm, thinking that maybe, I don’t know, you’d prefer doing this on a bed?”

Keith snorts, “Nah, it’s okay.”

Lance finally looks at him, searching his face, “You sure? Like, 100%?”

Keith rolls his eyes, “Yes Lance, don’t worry, just… keep the camera on me.”  

Lance sits upright, crisscrossing his legs, and points the camera at Keith.