#cause ppl i love are quite sick and its a very real fear they may die soon. it hurts so much to notice i can

[mejomonster]

(One of the sucky things) about healing dissassociation/not being able to feel shit. Is first u feel the stuff u did not notice u were feeling, which u disconnected from, which is mostly big Yikes heavy stuff. And only after u feel miserable a while do u regain the ability to feel like... happy. Excited. The pleasant stuff that has more feeling to it than the neutral content zone that's been your "nicest" felt emotion for the last year.

[noncompliant-fuckery]

1-99, it's been a while :)

I know :) but mostly cause all the ones I’ve been seeing are ones we already done or are kinky as shit and that’ll possibly be awkward.

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

-Batman-Jaden Smith. Retrograde-James Blake. H.E.R- Focus.  Loyalty-Kendrick Lamar.  Location-Khalid. Blind Man-Xavier Omar.

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

-All of my ancestors.

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

-I don’t know where I put my books and technically the only book I have near me right now is two of my diaries which are strategically hidden in my room and that's a book, right? So anyways, “I think she was talking about me, I hope. I've been thinking about it with a smile on my face since.”

4: What do you think about most?

-college and everything i'm neglecting to do

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

-”Your glasses should be here in a day or two.”-dad

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

Without. Just underwear. The less the better honestly 😉

7: What’s your strangest talent?

Lol Nothing will prepare you for what I have to say... So every once in awhile but not very often something will happen to my eye and if I press the part by my tear duct next to the bridge of my nose it’ll make a squeaky sound. I think it’s linked to my allergies lol

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

-Boys go to mars and girls go to jupiter? Haha idk

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

-Never had the pleasure.

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

-Probably last week tbh

11: Do you have any strange phobias?

-fear of having someone slice the back of my knees

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

-I was always more of a sticking foreign objects in my mouth kind of kid (that sounded so bad lol)

13: What’s your religion?

Agnostic I think.

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

-Fucking around on my ripstik. At the beach, or just walking around exploring.

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

-Neither honestly.

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

-Not much of a band person but my favorite artist right now is Chance the Rapper. Green day was good at some point though.

17: What was the last lie you told?

-Probably that I support my dad getting a second job and that I stayed home all week when I didn’t. Both told to my parents. You may be an angel but I am a horrible person inside lol

18: Do you believe in karma?

-Yes.

19: What does your URL mean?

I’m half stud, and half muffin. Style wise. Named by my sister.

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

-weakness: no perseverance. strength: finding the good in every bad situation and coming up with clever ways to do things either for fun or to solve problems.

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

-Michelle Rodriguez 😍

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

-Nah

23: How do you vent your anger?

-A frustrated scream, a lot of cussing, a strong urge to punch something. But this only happens if I'm completely alone and can’t hear me and i'm not thinking about consequences. Which is quite literally never. Otherwise, I get very very quiet.

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

-I have a collection of empty water bottles littering my bedroom floor right now?

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

-Depends on the conversation and person. But I like video chatting with you to remember what you look like and sound like sometimes. Its also fun 😊

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

-I’d say it’s a nice improvement.

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

-hate: pure silence because it is most definitely not silent. Love: the sound of grocery bags being carried into my house lol

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

-What if I stayed in gymnastics or tae kwon do

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

-Thats complicated. I believe something happens to the dead and I’m not sure “heaven” is the end destination. Humans are aliens. We are not special and if people believe we are a lone here, their dumb af.

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

-My fan and Bob the teddy bear

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

-Nothing, my allergies are killing me right now.

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

-Nothing's quite made that much of an impression for me to remember such a place.

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

-Theres no snow on the East Coast..I think

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

-Jidenna. He has an interesting look.

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

-Life is a grand experiment to test all that can make or break us.

36: Define Art.

- A ketchup stain on a white t-shirt.

37: Do you believe in luck?

-Depends but yes.

38: What’s the weather like right now?

-Blue skies, the sun is shining, a couple baby clouds and the wind is blowing the leaves outside my window. Seems hot.

39: What time is it?

-3:30pm

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

-Yes. So many close calls but no not yet.

41: What was the last book you read?

-Book 3 of The Testing series called Graduation Day by Joelle Charbonneau. College interrupted my finishing it.

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

-Love it.

43: Do you have any nicknames?

-Shoshoes, Worm.

44: What was the last film you saw?

-Dawn of the Plant of the Apes or maybe Kidnap

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

-Sprained my neck and back

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

-No there scary up close but one landed on my ass once.

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

-Starting old shows that have like 10 seasons

48: What’s your sexual orientation?

-Lesbian

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

-Don’t quite remember but possibly. Nothing to crazy I’m sure

50: Do you believe in magic?

-I believe that there's a possibility for it one day.

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

-Yes

52: What is your astrological sign?

-Aries 😈

53: Do you save money or spend it?

-Both. Not a good combination

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

-Movie tickets

55: Love or lust?

-Lust

56: In a relationship?

-Nope

57: How many relationships have you had?

-One real one.

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

-lol no.

59: Where were you yesterday?

-In my room

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

-My shorts are pink and black.

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

-Less clothes the better, remember.

62: What’s your favourite animal?

-Turtles

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

-Make em laugh

64: Where is your best friend?

-Home finally I think?

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

armyofchaos of course, elaxisfae, prettyboyshyflizzy, aniefiok, sixpenceee

66: What is your heritage?

-Who knows.

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

-Talking you and playing Assassins Creed

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

-Watson

69: Biggest turn ons?

-lol

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

-Yes

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

-Sorry little guy, I’ve got bills. But I'll call the cops or get someone's attention to do it for me.

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

-A: the important people will know. B: Complete my promises. C:Hell yea, the hell is after this life??? What happens to my inner voice? Me???

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

-Trust is love.

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

-Off the top of my head, Yoga by Janelle Monae and Jidenna.

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

-5703

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

-Laughing and communicating

77: How can I win your heart?

-By giving a damn.

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

-If I’m to be honest, those pills.

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

-Being friends with you

80: What size shoes do you wear?

-All my shoes right now are men's and those are size 8

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

-”Here lies a gay potato”

82: What is your favourite word?

-Fuckernaut. I call ppl that in my head quite often. Yes, that includes you.

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

-Fuck.

84: What is a saying you say a lot?

-Oh my god, honestly, definitely, seriously, jeez… I have a problem, help lol

85: What’s the last song you listened to?

-Currently,Drake-Marvins Room.

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?

-Black, army green, burgundy.

87: What is your current desktop picture?

-Some kind of stone stairway/hallway. I should really update it.

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

-That fucking orange cheeto with legs.

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

-Depending on the person “How do you really feel?”

90: Turn offs?

-Trump supporters

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

-Telekinesis.

92: where are your parents from?

-America

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

-When my mom started getting sick

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

-We’ll go with Kehlani today.

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

-You already know where 😊

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

-Yup, a couple of dumbasses.

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

-Not inside the car but out the door on the side of the road.

98: Ever been on a plane?

-When I was little.

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say.

-You stupid fucks.